#I’ll still keep this account up ^^ may archive some stuff though | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

oops-prow-did-it-again · 4 years ago

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I’m back!

So, I kinda quit using this blog a while back. There are some notes about it in my old pinned post and probably on my fanfics, lol, but basically, I felt overwhelmed by fandom and everything going on irl and I crashed. I just withdrew from like, everything. I still logged in on Tumblr but I just liked things to later view them with the boyfriend or laugh at them again myself.

Honestly, it’s not that fun, just doing that, and not really that fair to people who put effort into their posts like art, music, writing, etc., or even just people who are very passionate about a subject and may want it to reach others that are the same. Because I know I’m like that!

But anyway, this is going to be my new pinned post. So! (More under the cut, please keep reading!)

About Me

You can call me Prowess, I’m a FtM transmasc (he/him please)! I use this space to elevate my personal works, such as art or writing, while also occasionally posting about topics I am passionate about. I realized I was trans in 2020 at the age of 19 years old, in the midst of a pandemic and college fallout, so as you can imagine, I’m still riding the rollercoaster of emotions that come with that. I’m also ADHD... so expect some posts about those sort of things.

But that is hardly the focus! I am big on art and writing. While I am mostly obsessed with Pokemon, I am a lover of stories, and so generally, I love most fiction, even the really bad stuff. Along with my Pokemon stuff, you can expect posts involving ARK: Survival Evolved, The Tales of Miraculous Ladybug & Cat Noir, animated movies (Luca, Toy Story, Spirit - you name it, I probably love it), and plenty of other stuff.

While I have too many older posts to go through and try to sort out the unclean tags, going forward, I am going to use these sort of tags: subject (whatever the post is about, for example, Pokemon), characters depicted, media (whether it’s art, writing, animation, or a mix), and any warnings that may need to go with it (for example, cussing when stronger language is involved, or racism if racism is getting discussed, etc). Memes or one-off posts will likely be tagged with simply “memes.” While this is pretty true for most any blog, this is so you know if you need to block certain tags! For example, if you hate Miraculous Ladybug, you’d just blacklist ‘Miraculous.’

I will also reblog a lot of posts asking for help or boosting awareness. I will try not to inundate the blog with these, but as I will likely have to make a post asking for help at some point myself due to unfortunate irl circumstances, I want to pay it forward in advance. These will be tagged with simply “help needed!”

Below are some projects I’m working on + what you can expect from this blog.

Pokemon Retold

By far, my biggest project to date, is Pokemon Retold.

This is an expansive written anthology of all the pokemon mainline games as far as generation 8. Red, Heart of Gold, Omega Ruby, Platinum, Black, Black 2, Y, Ultra Sun, and Sword are all intended to get rewritten and posted on both my FanFiction.Net and Archive of Our Own accounts. I may also post some chapters here, but I admit Tumblr makes that difficult sometimes.

These stories are very personal to me, as I started writing them when I was struggling in college with undiagnosed ADHD, and felt like my life was falling apart and I was alone. I started writing a retelling of Sword, but the more I wrote, the more disappointed in it I felt, so I started writing Black instead and scrapped Sword altogether.

I’ve had some rough road since, but Black is complete, Black 2 is also complete, and Ultra Sun is (mostly) complete (but with plans to be heavily altered), while Red is underway!

WARNING: These stories can get DARK, and I would rather my readers be over 18. They are not dark with the intent to squick out or upset people, however; they are dark with the intention of exploring thoughts and ideas I find too difficult to think about directly. There are more personalized warnings at the beginnings of each story. With that out of the way, please just try and move on if you find yourself disliking a specific story or part of a story of mine... If you want to give constructive criticism, you are more than welcome, but tearing into me and my writing just because you didn’t like something helps nobody. Keep in mind I write these for fun and as a form of self-therapy throughout some of the worst years of my life.

Furthermore, I edit them a lot. And I do mean a lot. My FFN profile acts as a “changelog” for what has changed in the stories over the course of the time they’ve been posted.

Pokemon Retold posts are tagged “Retold.”

My FFN Profile

My AO3 Profile

Pokemon Retold: Black has been added to TVTropes! I honestly don’t even care that this person digs into it a couple of times, I was so incredibly flattered they took the time to do that at all. (But be warned the page does have some spoilers!) I have no idea if you enjoyed the story or not upon reading over that page, kind stranger lol, but I really appreciate that you took the time to do that nonetheless! <3

Creatively Destructive

This incredibly well-titled story is an idea I have for a retelling of Miraculous Ladybug. I know, I know - absolutely never been done before /s

While I know there has got to be a thousand retellings of this show by now, based on just how.... terrible, the writing is, I want to try anyway. Because I genuinely love the premise of the show! I’m just constantly disappointed by how it seems to never go anywhere with its plot or characters.

So, Creatively Destructive will be a fanfic, and when I have more information on it, I’ll post it under the tag “creatively destructive.”

Roleplays

Me and my boyfriend love to RP a lot. From Monster Hunter to Pokemon, we do a lot of different stories. Sometimes, I really get inspired by what we come up together and I want to share it with others! Be it quick art based on a scene from the RP or a quick rundown of what occurred in an RP, you can catch these in the ‘Prow RP’ tags.

Currently, we are having a lot of fun with an RP based on the Hoenn pokemon games that I am sure I’ll be posting about!

I may also be open to RPs with others in the future :> Don’t be offended that I’m not open to them already... I’m just a very easily overstimulated person.

The Ballad of the ARK

ARK: Survival Evolved is a lot of things. It’s an amazing concept, an open-world game where you befriend dinos and fight alongside tribemates against other tribes, or work together to survive the hostile environment. But the true tragedy of this game goes so much deeper than that, and I want to explore that in writing, starting with my story, my experience, and then graduating to where I think the issue primarily stems from.

This strange memoir will be posted under the tags of “Ballad of ARK.”

Commissions

I hope to take commissions for art and writing in the future!

However, I need to figure out the parameters of what I’m willing to draw (and what I can feasibly draw), as well as what I can promise when it comes to writing, not to mention pricing.

That’s not to say I’m not open to ideas though! Feel free to message me/send me asks anyway and we’ll see if we can work something out. :)

Although I am not in a financial disaster just yet, I feel like I am not far from one. This is why I hope to try to build on commissions in the future. I know they will never support me, but I would still like to try to be useful and helpful to some. I currently live with my grandmother, having left my abusive home with my father, and although she generously allows me to live with her for the low cost of merely helping with some electricity and my own food, I struggle to remain abovewater financially due to difficulty finding work (thanks to issues with ADHD and physical problems following a bout with COVID in early January 2021).

If you would like to help anyway, feel free to subscribe to my Patreon, or make a one-time payment via PayPal. I promise no matter what or how much it is, your generosity is greatly appreciated!! <3

My Patreon

My PayPal

My Ko-fi

(Note that my Patreon is... very outdated and needs to be updated. I will do that soon!)

#new day new me!#undeadprowess #I will be changing my url #pokemon retold #retold #pin #creatively destructive #prow rps #ballad of ark #commissions #sketch #art #rb pls! :)#pokemon #pokemon trainer brendan #brendan #pokemon trainer brix #more info on those last tags soon lol

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wherevermyway · 4 years ago

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the FiVE:RACHA project (1/7) // black mirror AU // 18+

chapter one: freedom series navigation: [desktop] [mobile]

⚠ POTENTIAL TW: READ WITH CAUTION! ⚠ pairings: lee minho x kim seungmin | hwang hyunjin x lee felix x yang jeongin | bang chan x seo changbin x han jisung rating: explicit! 18+ warnings/tags: creator chose not to use archive warnings, descent into madness, horror, thriller, technological implants, blood and gore, alcohol abuse, some sexual content in later chapters but it’s not, like, smut. word count: 3,101 also on AO3

PS: i made a carrd for this. check it out if you’re interested!

originally posted: 26 december 2020

Several years ago, five men created a website for South Korea's international rap sensation, 3RACHA. The website, The FiVE:RACHA Project, was almost as popular as the group themselves. About two years after the website went live, FiVE:RACHA had the opportunity to meet 3RACHA.

Immediately after they meet, the members of FiVE:RACHA and 3RACHA go missing. The FiVE:RACHA Project website is down. Their Twitter account has been deactivated, and 3RACHA stops posting. A few months after their meetup, it was announced that 3RACHA had disbanded. Nobody knows what happened to either group.

Nobody knows, until now.

For some, modern day fame comes at a price that is too high to pay.

disclaimer: this is a work of fiction! any reference to persons in this work of fiction are purely coincidental. the characters referenced from Stray Kids are interpretations loosely based on their personalities in the group and do not represent the real people behind the personas. if this, or any of the content included in the warnings above make you uncomfortable, please stop reading now.

// note: with other darker stuff i post, i’m not totally sure i’ll post the entirety of this fic on tumblr. if not, i’ll do a little notice post for people interested to keep following it on AO3.

...Do you wish to proceed? To learn the truth of FiVE:RACHA and 3RACHA?

What is the true price of fame?

A Foreword:

Several years ago, there was a fan site, The FiVE:RACHA Project, dedicated to South Korea’s most famous rap group, 3RACHA. One day, it went down without notice. The site, as well as their Twitter account with over four million followers, was almost as well-known as the rap group itself.

3RACHA mysteriously disbanded several months after FiVE:RACHA went down. Nobody has seen or heard from the members of either group since the disbandment. There are several theories and myths surrounding the disappearances of both groups, but most of them are incorrect.

Be aware that, no, FiVE:RACHA did not go down because the site moderators were bored of 3RACHA. No, 3RACHA did not disband because Supreme Entertainment was about to collapse due to widespread fraud and their political scandals within the Korean government.

The stories of FiVE:RACHA and 3RACHA are very much deeply intertwined within each other, and the truth is uncomfortable to witness.

This novel’s authors, comprised of some of the most loyal fans of both groups, will remain anonymous and stay in hiding due to fear of being caught by the one responsible for the disappearances. An individual outside of our group found a Shinyu of someone involved in this, someone discarded in the Han River many years ago. How the implant survived with no living host for so long is beyond remarkable.

In case the Shinyu is defunct or replaced by the time you’re reading this, allow us to explain. The name comes from “close friend” in Japanese, likely as a play on words for how close the implant gets to its host, both physically and socially. The Shinyu was created in Tokyo in 2025; it is a small technological implant embedded under the skin of the right side of everyone’s temples.

Everyone has one placed at thirteen, and it encodes all of our visual, tactile, and auditory data, syncing it to our phones and uploading it to personal servers in the cloud. The data is encrypted, and requires access from both the Shinyu and the phone to decipher. It allows us to integrate technology into our daily lives, records our memories and important moments, but there is a price we all pay for this. Critics have been outspoken about this since its inception, but the governments never listened.

Alas, we digress. The Shinyu is vital to uncovering so much information that has been hidden and speculated on after all this time. Regardless of our personal opinions regarding the ethics of the device, we are grateful that we were able to obtain one of the implants. It has been vital to connect a lot of the missing pieces of the greater picture.

The authors have spent years decoding the information from this implant. Thanks to an anonymous source, we were able to obtain the personal computer of someone in FiVE:RACHA, personal cell phones of both groups, access to the database of Supreme Entertainment and its defunct myIdol data, some declassified legal information, and archives of both FiVE:RACHA and 3RACHA’s Twitter accounts.

Why have we chosen to extrapolate all of this data in the form of a novel? Perhaps we would like it to serve as a modern day parable for the plights of technology being so intricately interwoven between us all now. We, as humans, are now one with technology. Technology is literally embedded into us. It is astounding that technology allows us to interact so closely with famed idols now, beyond some barriers that critics have denounced for being inappropriate or unhealthy.

Some of us may pay the ultimate price for this.

Some of us, unfortunately, already have.

However interconnected we are with technology and how close we can get to those of which we idolize in society, though, humans will still crave entertainment. That is why this was written almost as a work of fiction. Those that pay attention to the story will be rewarded. Maybe not immediately, and maybe only after self-reflection, but readers will be rewarded. That much can be promised.

Above all else, we cannot stress enough that modern day fame and convenience comes at a price that is too high for some to pay. Stay safe, err on the side of caution. Disconnect from your Shinyu if you choose to proceed any further, because you never know who is watching.

— Curators of The FiVE:RACHA Project

One: Freedom

Nobody really knows who exactly manages FiVE:RACHA, just that it’s a group of five fans that run a fansite for the popular rap group 3RACHA. Their website is the most well-known and widely used out of the millions of fans that are out there. It always has live updates for the members: Bang Chan, Seo Changbin, and Han Jisung. There are daily paparazzi photos of at least one of them slapped up on the front page, embedded social media posts from each of the members updated as soon as they post, and hard-to-find facts about each of them.

Hell, one of the FiVE:RACHA members went through and coded up a section of the site dedicated to decoding natal charts for each of the members. Again, like most things about FiVE:RACHA, the source of this information was a mystery. Nobody’s sure exactly how they obtained 3RACHA’s birth times and locations. Some had speculated that it happened the same day the government had announced that there was a security breach of some of their databases, because the timing was oddly convenient.

To most casual fans, it sometimes felt really fucking weird to have so much information on idols readily available at their fingertips. However, to 3RACHA’s most dedicated, most obsessed fans, it was perfect. Exactly what they wanted. Their work seemed well-appreciated by the broader community, since the amount of Twitter followers FiVE:RACHA had was comparable to 3RACHA’s following, nearly half of their total count: 4,100,000 to 8,500,000.

There was nothing else that could compare to the controlled insanity that The FiVE:RACHA Project had to offer.

The FiVE:RACHA website was an international sensation, known to most 3RACHA fans, even those that opposed it. There was even a small, but growing, fanbase for the members of FiVE:RACHA, something that was slightly worrisome to them, but they had remained anonymous for so long, they weren’t really overtly concerned over it.

“This article is bullshit, man. ‘Controlled insanity’? None of this is controlled, it’s just insanity.”

Idle hums and trills of various electronics thrum in a dark room. Two young men stare at several computer monitors in a daze, lost in their own worlds as a ticker tape-like feed of coding and statistics flew past them on screen.“Let ‘em talk, dude,” the younger-looking man with blue hair scoots away from his computer and sighs. “Fuckin’ gossip rags. Anyway, I can’t stare at this CSS anymore. I can’t figure out why the embedded feeds are busted. Can you take over on this, Seung?”

The slightly older man with short, shaggy black hair rolls his neck, snapping some joints, not bothering to look away from his screens. “Yeah, yeah,” he stops poring over the article written about them on one screen, tabbing away to another. He cracks the knuckles in his fingers, and waves his hand in the air as he taps a couple of keys on his keyboard. “Go take a break, Jeongin. Hyunjin was looking for you, anyways. Probably got something good from a source of his, since he’s in one of his giddy moods.”

As Seungmin settles into his work, Jeongin chuckles as he stands up and stretches. He takes a couple steps over to the other computer desk and pats the older man on the back. “Thanks, dude,” he says with a smile and walks out of the server room, out into the hallway that leads into the open living room of their flat. The ambient humming of the room stops as he shuts the door, now replaced by the sound of his feet shuffling, the muffled noises echoing against the hardwood floor.

Five men all lived and worked in this large apartment together: Yang Jeongin, Kim Seungmin, Hwang Hyunjin, Lee Felix, and Lee Minho. Collectively, this was where they lived and breathed The FiVE:RACHA Project. Running the largest, most extensive fansite for South Korea’s most famous rap group, 3RACHA, was more than a full-time job. They all equally poured their hearts and souls into maintaining the website and their Twitter account. It proved to be almost too much for five people alone to handle as their shifts sometimes went from twelve hours and bled into sixteen, sometimes twenty-four hour shifts.

Minho, the leader, didn’t trust anyone but the original five to the project, however. Jeongin could hear the oldest man’s airy voice echo in his ears: “I trusted the four of you with this. Now, it’s devolved into something I don’t even recognize. There’s no way anyone deserves to see what we’ve done. Imagine if it got out that we were the ones in charge of this monstrosity?”

Jeongin glided into the kitchen, and pulled his phone out of his back pocket, eyeing the time. 13:36. He had another hour left of his shift, and he was exhausted after yesterday’s all-nighter. 33 hours of work, with only a small nap in between was rough on anyone, and he was starting to feel it, physically. His Shinyu Implant would ping him once every hour that he was very low on sleep, reminding him that it was unhealthy to go without sleep for so long and that he would not be able to drive. As he slinked his way to the fridge, he shoved his phone back into his pocket and yawned. He opened the fridge, the contents in the shelves of the door clattering as they abruptly shifted around.

The first thing he saw was a bottle of unsweetened coffee and, while he knew he shouldn’t drink caffeine within a few hours of hopeful sleep, Jeongin went against his instincts and reached for the bottle anyways. As he opened it, the cracking of the seal reverberated against all of the hard surfaces and sounded much louder than it should have, startling the man awake a bit.

He hated unsweetened coffee, but there was no way he would make it through another hour or so of coding maintenance without it. Jeongin polished off the entire bottle within seconds, grimacing in disgust the entire time. He tapped his right temple twice, and grumbled. “Set reminder, after work: grocery shopping. Have Hyunjin drive. Add to list: energy drinks. The good kind, none of that berry-flavoured shit.” A very faint, nearly inaudible ding responds after he’s done speaking, and Jeongin moves to discard the bottle into the recycling bin.

“Innie?” Almost as if the devil himself heard Jeongin’s request, a familiar voice rounded the corner of the kitchen. “Oh, good, I thought that was you. Anyway, you won’t believe the content I got from Yeji at Seoul Scoop, dude,” the lanky, beacon-like blond grins wildly at Jeongin, walking into the kitchen. “I actually got a photo of Chan and Changbin looking awfully close at KNECT’s backstage event a couple days ago. Think they were celebrating their recent win a little too hard.”

Hyunjin proudly slaps a grainy photo down on the countertop, where Changbin is sitting in Chan’s lap, arms wrapped around the older man’s neck. Sure, it could easily be explained away as friendly closeness, since everyone knew that all of the guys were very close friends, and the area was cramped. The photo, however, would cause a lot of panic within the community.

Jeongin smirked as he eyed the photo, taking it into his fingers and bringing it up close to his face. “The shippers are going to have a field day over this, you know.”

“I know,” Hyunjin shakes some of his hair out of his face as he arrogantly places a hand on his hip, shifting his weight to one side. “It’ll be great traffic for the site. I’ll have Seungmin put it on the front page later.” He takes a couple of steps closer to Jeongin and pulls the younger man to his chest, stroking his hair down. “I love you, but you look like shit. Why not call it a little early today?”

Jeongin shook his head, burying his nose into the older man’s shoulder, letting his eyes flutter shut with a sigh. “Seungmin and I are trying to fix a string of broken code that’s causing the social media feed to bug out a little bit. Definitely wanna have that fixed before we upload this.”

A clattering of keys startles both of the younger men, causing them to look behind Hyunjin. “Don’t worry about it, Jeongin,” a third voice speaks from the entrance of the kitchen. “Seriously, you worked really hard yesterday, and I’m sure we’ll manage. I’ll be sure to wake up Felix a little earlier and we’ll fix the coding.”

“You’re home early, Minho,” Jeongin chuckles once as he nods. “Figured you’d be stuck in the office for a few more hours.”

“Nah,” Minho dismissively waves his hand in the air as he walks over to the sink, rinsing his hands. “Seungmin called me earlier and said you were nodding off at your desk, asked me to come home early.”

A look of guilt washed over Jeongin’s face. “Shit, my bad.”

“Don’t apologize,” Minho smiles as he towels off his hands. “I appreciate all of the work you did yesterday; completely revamping the social media section was hard. But I can’t have you possibly miscode something and have it break the site because you’re running low on sleep. You’ve started getting pings, haven’t you?”

Jeongin sheepishly nods his head and mumbles an affirmation.

Hyunjin rolls his eyes and elbows the young man in the side. “I thought I told you to take a nap, dude?”

“I did!” Jeongin whines. “It was, like, a half-hour, though.”

Both Hyunjin and Minho roll their eyes at Jeongin. “Get out of here,” Minho scoffs, walking towards the server room. “Go to bed. I don’t wanna see you back in the server room until tomorrow morning.”

Jeongin opens his mouth to protest, but Hyunjin drags him away, up the stairs towards their bedroom. A ping comes from his implant, a transparent box popping up in the lower right-hand corner of his vision. The soft voice of the AI reverberates against his skull, allowing him to hear it as if it were a real voice whispering into his ear. It reads off the notification from his display.

“Movement away from workplace detected. Reminder: grocery shopping later, have Hyunjin drive. Would you like me to pull up your list?”

“No.” A low grumble comes up from Jeongin’s throat as he taps his temple twice to dismiss the notification. “Hyunjin,” he sighs, “we’ve gotta go grocery shopping.”

“You’re too tired,” Hyunjin shakes his finger without turning to look at Jeongin. “The grocery store will still be there tomorrow.”

“I’m out of my energy drinks, though,” the younger man protests.

Hyunjin smiles, opening the door to their bedroom and whispers. “I’ll be sure to get some for you. Go cuddle up with Felix and get some sleep.”

“Hyunjin, I—” Jeongin is cut off as the older man grabs his wrist, pulling him into his chest. They share a brief kiss before Hyunjin guides him into the bedroom.

“Shh, Lixie is sleeping.”

There’s a shuffling that comes from the bedsheets, and a sleepy voice grumbles. “Not anymore.”

“Aw, mornin’, babe,” Hyunjin says with a smile. “Sorry to wake you. Minho’s probably gonna come ask for you in a bit, anyways, though.”

Felix rolls over, sitting upright as he runs his hands through his brassy blond hair. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you,” Jeongin sighs as he makes his way over to the bed, bringing an arm up to the blond and wrapping him in a lazy hug as he pulls them down to the bed.

The blond lets out a soft laugh. “Don’t worry about it, man,” he turns his head to face the bluenette and offers him a quick peck on the lips. “I couldn’t sleep much, anyways. Finding out about that myIdol rumour yesterday had my brain going kind of wild.”

“You heard about it too, huh?” Hyunjin says, colliding down onto the bed opposite of Felix. “Someone at Seoul Scoop told me about it this morning. It lets fans connect with their idols, like they’re actually directly messaging them.”

“That’s weird,” the bluenette sleepily grumbles into Felix’s shoulder.

“I think so, too.” Felix says with a frown as he nuzzles his head against Jeongin’s forehead, staring up into the ceiling.

Hyunjin shrugs with indifference. “I dunno, I think it’s pretty interesting.”

Jeongin lifts his head and stares down Hyunjin with a smirk. “You just want to pretend like Changbin cares about you.”

The older blond frowns as he flips off Jeongin. “Like you wouldn’t want Jisung to send you a ‘Have a wonderful day, bestie!’ message?”

The youngest member flops back down onto the bed. “Okay, that’s fair. It’s still weird, though. Seems so artificial and fake, I guess.”

“Well,” Hyunjin sits up, offering a hand out to Felix, “I’ll have more information on it tomorrow, probably. Why don’t you let yourself sleep for a while?” Felix takes the hand offered to him, and both men stand up. “Lixie and I will go out and get some groceries and get you those nasty energy drinks you like so much.”

Jeongin grumbles as he wiggles his way up to the pillows, half-asleep and irritated from the loss of warmth from Felix. “Just not the berry ones, okay?”

“I’ll see what we can do,” Hyunjin says with a smirk before he spins on his heel and walks out of the room. “Love you, Innie!”

“Don’t worry,” Felix leans down to kiss Jeongin’s forehead, “I’ll make sure he doesn’t get the kinds you hate. Let yourself actually sleep, too. We’ll make it all work out, okay?”

Jeongin mutters some sort of incoherent affirmation as he lets his heavy eyelids flutter shut. Seungmin would be able to fix the CSS by himself, he figured, trying not to worry too much about how broken small parts of the site were. He heard Felix say something else as he quickly faded off into sleep, but it didn’t register fully as he sank into the abyss.

There were a lot of sleepless nights ahead of them, whether FiVE:RACHA felt it coming or not.

#the fiveracha project #the five:racha project #skz fics #black mirror au #horror #technological horror #i'm not tagging the ships because they're not really important #wherevermyway

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thrillingdetectivetales · 5 years ago

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Hi everyone! I am beyond pleased to announce the first annual Heavy Artillery HBO War Holiday Fic Exchange. Sign up to swap a fic with another mystery member of the HBO War fandom on September 21, 2020, and revel in the gift provided to you in exchange on December 23, 2020. If you're unfamiliar with how a fic exchange works, check out the FAQ section below the read more.

SCHEDULE:

September 21, 2020: Sign-ups open at 10 AM CST. (Link will be provided in a separate post.) October 5, 2020: Sign-ups close at 8 PM CST. October 7, 2020: Assignments go out. October 28, 2020: Check in #1. November 18, 2020: Check in #2/default deadline. December 16, 2020: Fic due by 8 PM CST. December 23, 2020: Collection goes live at 10 AM CST. December 30, 2020: Author reveals.

SIGN-UP INFO:

To participate in the Holiday Fic Exchange, you will need:

an AO3 account—to post your fic to the collection

a Dreamwidth account, or an e-mail, or both—to receive your assignment

You'll be allowed to make up to ten requests and up to ten offers total. All completed fic must be at least 1,000 words long, in English, to qualify.

If you have any questions that aren't answered in the FAQ below, feel free to reach out to yours truly here on Tumblr or via Discord: thrillingdetectivetales#5966.

FAQ:

What is a fic exchange? Precisely what it sounds like! You write a fic for another member of fandom while a mystery author writes one for you, and then you exchange them. (Note: the person you are writing for will not necessarily be writing for you, though in a fandom this size it is a possibility.)

How detailed do my requests have to be? As detailed as you like! You can offer as little as "wing!fic plz" or expand into entire paragraphs. Just keep in mind that while fic writers will do their best to accommodate your needs, they are individuals with distinctive styles and voices, and as such will bring their own flare to any request you make. Which is all part of the fun!

Here are some sample requests, to give you an idea of what they could look like*:

What about my offers? Likewise, your offers can be as sparse or as detailed as you like. Here are some sample offers, to give you an idea of what they could look like*:

*Your requests/offers don’t have to follow the exact format of the samples provided. They’re just there to get you started. Am I allowed to request/offer more than one pairing/fandom? You're welcome to request and offer as many pairings in as many fandoms as you like, provided that they fit within the 10 request and offer slots you'll be allotted on the sign-up form.

I only write [insert character/ship here]. Do I have to offer or request more than one character/ship? For the moment, I am allowing participants to only offer to write one character or ship. If this proves too difficult when time comes for matching, I'll reach out to participants who have only offered to write one character/ship and require that they provide two more options to ensure that everyone in the exchange receives a gift. Overall, I would encourage you to at least offer more than one character or pairing, even if you only request one, as variety makes my job considerably simpler. You can limit your requests to a single character or pairing if you'd like, but be aware that it may make pairing you with a writer more difficult. There's some stuff I really don't like. Will I have the option to request that my writer excludes those things and that I don't have to write them? Of course! There will be a DNW option in both the requests and offers portions of the sign-up form that allows you to specify any content you don't want to see or include in both the fic you write and the fic you receive. How are assignments generated? This year, because I anticipate the exchange being pretty small, yours truly will be matching by hand. What does "default" mean? If you don't think you'll be able to finish your story by the deadline, let me know and you will default on your assignment, which will then be awarded to someone else as a pinch hit. Am I going to get in trouble if I default? Nope! Life happens, and the holidays can get hectic. I would request that you be realistic about your schedule and capabilities to let me know that you're going to default by the default deadline so I don't have to scramble to ensure that all recipients receive a fic, but if you elect to sign up next year, when I hope to run the exchange again, you will not be penalized for defaulting. How do I claim a pinch hit? After the default deadline, all pinch hits will be posted here on the community, where you'll be able to claim them via screened comment on a first-come, first-serve basis. Where can I find the collection? I'll drop a link to the collection here once it's open to post in, and will make a separate post on the Heavy Artillery Dreamwidth community as well. A master list will also be provided here in the community once the collection goes live.

THE RULES:

Rules are subject to change or expand at any time as necessary to ensure that this event remains fun and inclusive. Having said that, rules will not change without an explanation or notice. Likewise, nobody will be punished for breaking the rules without the same consideration. If you have questions about any existing rules or need clarification on anything, you're welcome to reach out to me at any time.

1. Don't be a dick. Pretty straightforward, right? 2. Make sure your fic is appropriately tagged. Yes, this includes the option not to tag, so long as you appropriately apply "Author Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings," etc. 3. No kink shaming. That includes within your requests and your DNW list. Keep it civil or get booted. 4. No prioritizing requests. Basically, don’t list out which of your requests you want most and which you want least, as it can make matching tricky. 5. Do not troll fill or purposefully, maliciously include your recipient's Do-Not-Wants in the gift fic you provide for them. Doing so will result in expulsion from all future Heavy Artillery fic events and potentially blacklisting from the community itself. 6. Do not post your fic to the collection unless it could reasonably be construed as finished. You're welcome to edit or expand your fic until the collection goes live, but I ask that you not post an unfinished work. If you're worried about missing the default deadline but still think you might be able to finish your fic, let me know and I'll do my best to work something out with you.

Please let me know if you have any questions, comments, or concerns, or if you require clarification on anything.

#heavy artillery holiday fic exchange #heavy artillery holiday fic exchange 2020 #band of brothers #the pacific #generation kill #hbo war #heavy artillery #heavy artillery fandom community

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jjaeong · 4 years ago

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Color-Correction Post (50 Followers Edition).

(Posting this through my laptop because my phone kept crashing when I change the colors or even link the source?)

DISCLAIMER: I am not a professional, this is post was created just to put into perspective how I always tweak the colors in each GIF I attach to my fics. I just wanted to share this because it’s honestly satisfying with the end result (and in celebration of 50 followers).

Before I got into this entire GIF in fics thing, I thought that it was cool how there’d always be a GIF attached into what I’d always read on this site—I’ve observed how it somehow made it easier to get into whatever it was you were reading when there was some visualization attached to it (no matter how lightly written the fic is). And I’ve done this “writing template” with the two borders and the gif in the middle—but I don’t consider the fic on my other account as influenced as this account because it was just literally one drabble (if you find it—hmu lmao).

Also, I think I mislead you guys about my last writing account being back in 2014 (but honestly, I don’t remember any other time than my last drabble in the Summer of 2020—I had a lot of things going on since I started attending University).

But that’s a story for another time.

I just like the idea of incorporating the right visuals in my fics because—other than I don’t seem to have anything else to do (lmao)—I just found it easier to write with what I can see with the imagery, and so I thought that it would be cool if my readers would get to experience the same thing and not just in my head, you know?

Honestly this sounds so taxing and it looks like I’m putting too much effort into it but.. It’s art? This blog is a passion project that had just been brought to life— something we can always come back to when we feel like doing so.

Anyways, here’s the step by step process of making the GIFS.

One. Finding The Right Visualization.

I’m not strict in finding a source, usually I’d be watching loonatv and I’d suddenly be hit by the scene like—oh, that looks like it’ll fit in this idea that I thought about earlier. But what I am strict about is if I can find a better angle (this goes with the fan site sources and etcetera), because it usually starts from “this looks nice” and should end with “okay, it’s time to write about it” but sometimes, sadly it would end with “I don’t feel that great about the plot idea though”.

But for the series stuff (such as The Heiress which is currently ongoing) it’s harder to find more cinematic shots that fit the mood. I try my best on finding a video that would set the foundation of the fic before going ahead and downloading the videos from a separate online video converter.

I also make sure to take note of the dates, the links and specially the channel name or basically the source because if I found the shot pretty and just took it without giving credit—I admire these non-profit(?) fan sites (I love vantablack’s fan cams of Hyunjin the most) so that’s why I started to include sources. Simply appreciating the craft.

Two. Color Correcting By The Fic’s Tone.

The thing that I honestly do not like the most is the fade(?) effect that loonatv adds to their videos, I’ve noticed how they always applied this because it makes the girls somewhat “brighter” but it takes away their more.. Natural colors. The lighting in this shot was bright enough to somewhat strengthen the fading effect that they put—but the thing I keep feeling upset for is that you lose a bit of the natural setting that the girls themselves make brighter.

So if it’s a light fic, a happy one shot like Rest Easy Love, I’ll Always Be Your Favorite Girl, I added a warmer tone to the GIF.

(I think I corrected it some more after recording this on my screen, but you guys get the point lmao sorry).

And when it’s a more darker type of fic, this is an example of how I envision the lighting would be like The Heiress effect (which I applied to this exact GIF just for comparison). That’s all to it when I CC—just keep in mind the vibe of the fic, adjust the lighting and etcetera, and finally add the effects if you have them.

Three. The Cinematic Border And Final Export.

I found it easier to just adjust the video itself under the border to fit it instead of cropping because it really takes so much space when you crop it. You’d barely get a full decent view so I just drag and adjust it.

After I’ve finished the video, I then export the file and send it to my online archives or via cable to my phone (when I’m in a hurry). The reason why I upload it on a cloud is that sometimes after I edit the video, I tend to burn myself out so I can’t be bothered to turn it instantly into a GIF.

I use my phone to convert the video into a GIF because whenever I use my video editing software it tends to not upload in this site, and after looking for the reason why—turns out you can only upload up to 15MB of your GIF here—I just convert it on my phone because it’s the quickest when it comes to compressing the file.

Then I open my drafts and attach it there along with my borders, and that’s about it.

At this point I think now you guys know why I take my time to post and follow through my chapters (because I like to wait for the inspiration to hit before I start writing, and that I look for clips that will help me visualize better)—but I just want to say that one day we’ll reach a bigger audience, there will be more people expecting quality from this blog and as much as I’d hate to admit it, I am aware that it will take a toll on me.

But that will never stop me from loving these girls because they’ve been nothing but a positive source of happiness from me—I’ve been through so much last year and they somehow made me feel like myself again, and that’s such a big impact in my current situation right now and this is how I want to express myself in loving them.

I want nothing other than to give these girls a positive light in this blog, and though times may be rough we’d still have these Y/N fics to come back to when we feel like we’re not living the Y/N life in reality.

And I know this is a lot of talk for a small following—but someone out there will always read your notes, no matter how silly it will be there will always be a reader that will like your work even if you don’t feel confident in your writing.

Because if your following is the reason you’re writing, then write for them.

If you’re writing for yourself just as I am—do it.

As long as there is passion inside of you, pursue it. Even if it’s just writing Y/N fics while you’re balancing too many things at once.

Stay passionate, that’s all I truly had to say.

You guys are cool.

Laters,

>ovc: loonatheworld (171212)

https://youtu.be/eUeFUBy40ow

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tripstaysnoided · 5 years ago

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Flow Just Like Water

youtube

Story and writing-related transparency update and my many shames...

The Question on Everyone’s Mind

“Hey you haven’t updated No Stars over Uptown in almost a year...”

Hmm, I hate it when you’re right. (This section has been rewritten ad-nauseam to curb back the bitchiness by the way)

So back in early/mid 2018, the idea was to divorce Uptown from a person who influenced it (and myself) heavily. She was my most important audience member, the closest friend I ever had, and unfortunately someone who used her power to bully, ostracize, and hurt others with my help. I cut contact when the hurt + some self-awareness finally reached me. Apologies were made and I feel like my work will never be done with it, but there was still Uptown.

Between censored comments, entirely recasting Axel’s save, different plot threads, and a load of disclaimers, there was nothing that would scrub her influence from the story. There was no way to cleanly drop everything because of how deep her influence went. It disgusted me to look back at it, and I had to private the blog because I feared what it endorsed, even if just in the past.

I pulled back from that sims writing community. I had its main thread on the Official Forums removed too (I guess if that was a mystery to anyone). It was a surrender that I never wanted to do, but I had it in my mind that if I was gone, then she wouldn’t be there either. Uptown became this cursed item, and as I quietly retired it, I noticed that she went quieter too. Not gone, but enough to make me sleep easier at night and even occasionally say hello to old friends.

And I hope deep in my heart that no one else is getting hurt in my place, but now this is gonna haunt me all day huh!

The two paths forward...

1) Complete Uptown rewrite that I’ve been threatening everyone with all year. While it won’t ever be clean because I can’t undo time, I do have a sound outline for a story that is much more true to my actual vision and how I’ve evolved, with a few necessary boundaries in place that are going to be there for all stories moving forward: no more casting calls and no more collaborative efforts. I am not going to open myself up to this happening again, even if the people have changed.

2) Same as above, but I continue the original Uptown as a favor to loyal readers alongside the rewrite. I would try to put the effort into it that I initially did, but with no promises on an update schedule and no advertising. I did ask myself “is there Patreon but without pledging money, just the private posts function” but it could operate as part of a private forum, a members-only part of a website, etc.

Also readers of the original would be beholden to a rule of “don’t spoil the rewrite for new readers, c’mon guys”. I mean, not really, but it is a good courtesy to extend to people.

Priority on this isn’t high but you at least will see what is!

I will probably make the blog public again either way due to the many broken links on my Tumblr but we’ll see. There are other things to deal with as I shall list!

Where Life’s Been Regardless

Been spending more time with my grandpa every weekend. Life’s pretty good and he’s warming up to my dogs.

Shiny New Webbed Site

Cucumber Fields Forever is a site I own now. We have a full domain, cucumberfieldsforever.com, a blog with one post, and the framework needed to host stories the way I want to and still through WordPress. The functionality of likes, comments, and following should still be the same but you know...I’ll take feedback too...

The main blog still has an undefined purpose though I do have drafts sitting around about:

The maybe/maybe not hoax band that was on the Metal Archives and the history of Funeral Doom Metal.

The curious case of when Sims 4 babies get their genetics and my only collaboration (read: was talking about it with a friend and might quote her if needed, it’s actually a bit of a doozy)

Amazon.com’s fake dried udon noodles, an actual issue by the way.

Things I’m reading! (This’d be a monthly feature if so)

For the sake of unity, I am thinking of solutions for hosting old and shameful content there including Uptown and for the real fans in my followers feed, Eight Cicadas...a world I totally have plans for too (not really). I don’t want them to be front-and-center, and that’s why I mentioned forums/members-only content. I finally have that power! Maybe.

Ooooh but what are the costs? Not too much to handle, that’s what. 😉 (Like really, I don’t need any hand-wringing about this, I can manage my finances)

Project Queue (In Order of Confirmedness)

Outrun the Scythe: have you seen me post out-of-context Sims 3 pictures? Did you want more? Did you hope it was Linda in Custody? If the answers are yes, yes, and “meh, whatever you want”, then you’re in luck.

Outrun the Scythe is a Sims 3-based tale of a young gay man and his zombie grandma, as they are both offered separate roles of being the undying intermediaries between the world of humans and the influence of a race of space daemons. It’s pretty familiar if you’ve been following me pre-Uptown, taking some cues from stories I’ve kept under lock and key like Eight Cicadas, The Chains of Lyra, and the not-so-locked-up Ironstar Immortals (of which Outrun is just the direct sequel to sans any retconning...ah the smell of early 2013 and performative heterosexuality)

Ah, back to my roots.

It’s a hybrid of gameplay, story, and lore about my little race of daemons with a lot of my own idiosyncrasies that I’m not really ashamed of: basing it off a super-polarizing Sims 3 challenge from a site I moderate, using a lot of EA’s pre-made townies and their genes, lots of unnecessary posemaking, stupid references. It’s a comfort to have in my roster.

While the first few chapters are in the middle of revision, I have around six in the queue and will be making this public when I have ten. I’m guessing December then?

Undocumented Black Widow Challenge: I just did this for fun/forum kudos (yes, in fact I have joined many forums), there was going to be a short story but it was quickly becoming something against my code of ethics. I mean, sims die and all. (read: I had to choose between “heterosexual widow” and “widow with some same-sex marriages that still end in tragedy, reinforcing negative stereotypes to the public for the sake of me not getting bored and detached during gameplay” so there were no good choices. Except for her affair with the mailwoman, 10/10) I hope to finish this before October ends and get my medal on Boolprop, I’m pretty far through it all. I might upload the sims involved anyways. This is for TS4.

I mentioned it because it’s keeping me busy. But not for long!

NaNoWriMo 2020: Dipping my toes into that again! It’s not sims-related, just a tale of lesbians, nosy neighbors, a haunted beach house, and some light murder and kidnapping. And I actually got my brother to scout out locations for me this weekend. If there’s any demand, I can share chapters as the rough drafts are finished, especially for the sake of proofreading.

Not saying I’m publishable, but wouldn’t it be nice? Will keep me occupied for much of November.

Untitled “Dear Diary” Challenge: Tired of feeling left out of the fun on the Boolprop forums, their “Dear Diary” challenge was the one that appealed to me the most on first glance. Why? Probably once I found an idea that let it be set in the early/mid-2000′s to begin with and explore some interesting characters through diary entries (which I have mixed feelings on as a literary device but I think that’s just me saying “well I didn’t like Dracula”, yes you get bonus points for writing it like a diary)

Also writing is the one skill I’m good at across multiple games. Wanna hear me bitch about the cooking skill tree in TS4 or riding in TS3? I’ll spare you.

I guess I could have included “spending time on Boolprop with old and new friends” in where my life has been. It’s a nice lil community if also a place with its own idiosyncrasies as well. So it doesn’t feel like I’m promoting another community if/when I make a thread there for Outrun the Scythe, I want to have a couple chapters of this ready to go by Outrun’s release, though it’s not gonna be the highest priority compared to it nor as long because I think I can blast through the gameplay quickly.

This one will be played in TS4 due to it having the easiest writing skill/I dunno variety is the spice of life. And hopefully another December release.

Defunded or Forgotten?: Oh shit I actually released stuff in 2020 and told no one? I do have a “mortifying ordeal of being known” sinking feeling whenever I get a site hit because it’s not my best work (but good enough) and veered sharply into issues I may be over my head in, though I try to be a good noodle with research and listening. Maybe hiding is bad after all.

Being based off a very flawed and incomplete Sims 3 challenge I found in the annals of the Official Forums, there’s a lot of behind-the-scenes work just making sense of things. And I’m scared of working on reconstructing the house but I haven’t abandoned the project yet. The story has eight chapters so far and is pretty game-based with some additions here and there. Scared of how long it could be though!

Date for this unknown.

Untitled Sunlit Tides Decadynasty: another year-long abandoned TS3 project with a much stupider reason why. Last update was about Hua getting ready for her wedding, and I wanted to do some poses for a bait-and-switch wedding chapter because to put it mildly, her real one was an absolute disaster.

Blender decided to fuck up its interface again, I got discouraged (this probably does account for some of the Uptown delays too), and when I decided to plow forward, it was for other projects instead.

Meanwhile I played all the way to Gen 5′s teenhood and the only thing stopping me is time (it takes almost 30 minutes to load the file right now, though they’ll be looking at moving towns in a couple gens) and maybe fear of the Logic skill.

Date for this also unknown but it’s easy to pump out updates once I’m in the groove for it. My third heir had a difficult life so maybe I’m just trying to bury it.

Also I just noticed the view count there was really good and probably because I linked it here on Tumblr last year. Thank you so much guys. I can’t really fret over views on Carl’s forum these days thanks to the years-long death spiral pretty much every forum anywhere has been riding on. But it’s a nice surprise. And it’s an alright little challenge recap to read during your lunch break or whatever.

The Wawas

I figured I’d end on the real news everyone wants! Both the chihuahuas are a year and a half now and reached their adult size around a year ago. For the most part, they are happy and healthy dogs.

#state of the uwunion #long post

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s-mething-mbti · 4 years ago

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Hiya! I just discovered your blog and was wondering if you could help try to type me (sorry this is pretty long)

1. I’m currently pretty torn between the intuitive introverts. I was able to narrow it down to INTJ, INFJ or INTP. I’m about 97.2% sure I use Ni. The only thing that’s giving me a bit of doubt is I find myself occasionally learning for the sake of learning which I’ve found is a traditionally Ne trait. Despite this I’m still pretty sure I use Ni as when I go down a rabbit hole and start learning for the sake of learning its always about a topic that interests me or is entertaining. I won’t waste my time learning about something I find mundane or drab. I resonate a lot with Ni’s “aha” moments where the correct answer simply pops into my head or a vision suddenly seems clear or a plot holes solution suddenly seems painstakingly obvious. I also resonate with starting out with a broader range of information/ possibilities and narrowing it down to one or two things. Another intuitive thing I highly relate to is living in the future. If almost never living in the present, and a constantly fixate on the future. I have a distinct, clear, and well thought out plan for the next 20 years (give or take).

Where I run into a bit of trouble is when I try to figure out which judging functions I predominantly use. It honestly feels like I use them all (though I know you’re only supposed to be able to use two well). For example I plan out everything, and set deadlines for myself. My desk often seems really messy to others especially when I’m doing art. This isn’t because I don’t value cleanliness, but because it simply makes more sense to keep all my art supplies out rather than having to spend at least fifteen minutes taking them out and then putting them away only to take them right back out the next day. I set goals based off of easily measurable, external things such as time, or grades. I make daily to do lists that outline everything I’ll need to do in the day, and some stuff to focus on if I have extra time. With my to do list I also plan out the approximate time each thing should take. When coming up with a scientific theory, I take others opinions/theories and test them against each other, and current scientific laws in order to formulate the most probable theory. External opinions (in a scientific/ logical manner) mean a lot to me (I don’t really care about how people that aren’t my friends think of me). To me these things seem very Te. But then I’m always smiling and am a fairly warm person. I want my friends to be happy, and I want to help others. I despise emotionally driven conflict(though I love debates), and while I’m not afraid to disrupt it if it threatens my morals/ is promoting something blatantly wrong (factually or morally) I do really harmony. These seem like pretty Fe things to me. As for Fi, I rarely share my negative emotions, preferring to deal with them predominantly alone. While I may not talk about them much I also have EXTREMELY strong morals. If something is crossing them I’m not going to simply ignore it for the sake of harmony. While I tend to be private I do try to be as authentic as possible. My morals are derived by information I’ve collected and decisions I’ve made myself, rather than being derived by ‘the groups’ collective morals if that makes sense. To me these things appear to be very Fi. As for Ti, sometimes I enjoy learning simply for the sake of learning. The knowledge may have no practical use to me but if I find it interesting or want to learn about it I can devote hours to it. I try and come to the most logical/accurate conclusion possible, and when I’m offering advice I may offer additional advice that takes different variables into account. The truth is really important to me as well.

2. Reading. I absolutely ADORE reading(specifically fantasy/sci-fi/dystopian books or research/scientific articles about topics that interest me). For reference there was a period of time when I had some free time and I was reading 2 or 3 books a day? Read maybe 50 books in the span of 20 days? But yeah I absolutely love reading. Just he way the book sucks you in and deposits you and a completely new world full of wonder and disaster and ugh it’s just magnificent. And don’t even get me started on impeccable character development and eeee. The way rereading a book feels like you’re reconnecting with an old best friend or going back to your childhood home and *sobs*. I also LOVE trying to predict plot twists and character deaths. Most of the time I can predict things correctly and idk it’s really fun to just try and figure out what’s going to happen before the big reveal. And the rush of satisfaction you get when you’ve guessed something right- it also helps me brace for character deaths (sorta. For example I knew *the* death in the final empire [by Brandon Sanderson] was coming since nearly the very beginning [I had my suspicions since the moment vin was introduced] but I still sobbed when the character died. [a tad off topic but what caused me to cry wasn’t the death itself but another characters reaction to it. This is often the case I find. A death of a character I love leaves me feeling empty but what typically gets me to cry is the others reactions- for thus reason funerals usually make me cry. I should also add that I only cry when I’m alone. I’ve cried around people (that aren’t my parents) a grand total of 1 time.]

Uh and daydreaming. I’m almost always daydreaming. Ie. if my brain was a search engine or whatever one tab would be reality and I would consecutively have at lest 20 other tabs open. Some of then playing videos (daydreams) others supplying music(if I’m not actively listening to real music my brain cycles through songs I have memorized. Occasionally does this with book scenes too if I’m bored [yes, I memorize some of my favourite scenes, word for word, so I can play them like a movie in my head when I, bored) others containing random info (just me thinking random stuff) etc.

3. I guess how to solve some problems? Wether it’s a math or science problem, or an argument between friends, figuring out how to solve things has always been something I’m decently good at. Math and science just. Make sense. And then with issues between people I’m good at looking at different perspectives (even ones that I don’t agree with) and playing out different scenarios/ possible outcomes of different approaches. This lets me come up with a solution that will successfully solve the problem with the least amount of negative ramifications involved

4. Hmm maybe being present? I honestly feel like life is passing me by and I’m just immobilized on the sidelines. Im so far into the future that I kinda forget to actually *live* every once in a while.

5. Honesty? Truth? Morals? These topics are all really interesting as they can be kinda subjective. The line between honesty and cruelty is so small. What is truth? Cause while yes, we have some set truths (such as the earth is orbiting the sun) so many ‘truths’ are simply subjective and completely depend on ones perspective. And morals my goodness. The stormlight archive is a really fun series that plays around with things like what is justice? And honour? I won’t get into it now but it brings up so many really interesting questions regarding morals.

6. Perspective . I think perspective is such a fascinating thing. Just. Different opinions. Seeing the world through completely different lenses. Interpreting the same thing in utterly different ways. When toying around with an idea I find it really fun to try and imagine opposing perspectives. While I can find different perspectives really interesting, they can also well... get on my nerves to say the least. Sometimes someone perspective is just? So blatantly wrong? And has absolutely no factual evidence backing it up? And part of me wants to just just scream and it would be so much easier if everyone just. Assessed the facts in front of them instead of making wild accusations or whatever without anything to support them. But yeah overall I think perspectives are really cool and they’re part of what helps to make the world diverse and life so much less interesting without different perspectives.

The future. I’ve found a bunch of my friends find thinking about the future stressful but if I’m being honest I find solace in thinking about the future. Having things planned out and knowing what I intend to do/ where I want to go takes off so much stress. I lowkey live in the future and I honestly cannot wait till it comes, and I achieve my goals. While I might be a bit scared the future excites me so much more than it’ll ever scare me.

7. Maybe add some more stuff about the judging functions and feelings and thinking etc . I absolutely adore science and math. I literally do math for fun. I’m currently aiming to get my PhD in astrophysics.

Not sure if this is relevant at all but my biggest (harmless) pet peeves are my grandmother’s door stopper (it always gets stuck in the door and then u can’t get it out and the door won’t close properly- I have an unhealthy amount of hatred for that thing AHAHJSEJKSMDJDJDJJ) and when people say some variant of “you did good”. Like nO NO YOU DID NOT DO gOoD. YOU DID W E L L (Anyways theres my little mini rant).

I’m my friend groups therapist (sorta). While I’m really not good with words and recycle the same three responses I always let everyone know that I’m here for them and they can talk to me without judgement etc. While I really don’t know what to say or do I try my best because I care about my friends and want to help them. I love them and so I want them to be able to be happy. Im always smiling (though this is more so because people don’t ask me how I’m doing when I look happy than because I’m genuinely happy. Most of the time I’m he farthest thing from that). I’m a pretty warm person who’s always happy to help, however I’m very introverted. I haven’t had a single conversation with the majority of people in my class (I’ve had a convo with maybe 5. Talk to 2 regularly. There are 26 people in my class). I never express negative emotions (with the exception of stress- I panic intensely in the 5 minutes immediately before taking a test as this helps me to completely turn off my nerves while I’m writing the exam. I may also make a joke or two about my negative emotions with close friends). I should also add that when making decisions I value logic more and think thinks through thoroughly, examining the pros and cons etc. While I take feelings and emotions into consideration when making decisions they’re more like an additional variable to consider rather than the main driving force that determines my decision. If I’m feeling really emotional and I need to make a decision I will postpone deciding until I feel more levelheaded. I’m really not impulsive in the slightest.

Thank you so much!!

INTJ

Living in the future rather than the present and your comfort in that sapce, your ability for and enjoyment of making predictions, your ability to really understand and try on different perspectives you don’t necessarily agree with, your focus on “ramifications” (aka future implications) while problem solving - this all points to high Ni.

You also show a Te preference - goals based on external metrics, to-do lists for daily tasks, logic based on the outer world (external opinion). When you said “While I take feelings and emotions into consideration when making decisions they’re more like an additional variable to consider rather than the main driving force that determines my decision” - that is a clear cut definition of Te over Fe preference.

Your tertiary Fi shows through here as well - willing to disrupt harmony if it upsets your morals, your morals being personally derived, needing to understand your emotions while alone. And lastly, your statement about “forgetting to live” from being in the future is pretty textbook inferior Se.

#ask #type me #intj #mbti #myers-briggs #Anonymous

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captainkurosolaire · 5 years ago

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J2. who makes them happy? K3. if they could kill anyone without punishment, would they? who? R1. do they follow rules?

J2. who makes them happy? CKS: “Making me bring out th’ list aren’t ye...” He’d sigh before bringing out a literal scroll from his pocket of every person he’s ever encountered. “Strap in we’ll be here for a Summer.* A clear of his throat began before formulating his uncanny pitch . “Guy #1 who let me rail his wife whether he was influenced or not. Guy #2 who let me steal his Chocobo without his knowledge.” The list went on and on and on like that for many bells. Finally, he’d get to the people who he actually knew their names and actually surpassed just mentioning them by also their ‘wearing and appearance.’ “There’s ye of course Nini! Then there’s Naviah, Lady of Lavender, Sivir, Ayla, Masao, Shinji, Saya, Yuina, Bryte, Mishi, Seiwind, Pheli, Tempest, Sparrow, Faye.” A couple more bells passed without him relenting and stopping. “There’s Subetei, there’s Neyuki, Rose, Cheche, Endora, Fray, Verrine! Sol, Gark, Haelgeim, Roxi, Yuki, Shur, Silvana, A’yi, Kya, Little Abby, Kahn’a, Sun’ra.” He’d finally take his first-breath and then exhaled, “Veleda, Yvaine, Ufah, Valde, Eligos, Sol, Shiro, Fusumi, Sha, Chanai, Zhu, Sashana, Crowie, Cinna. ” No one was left out in expense. Every single person was recorded and written he’d even elaborately briefly put the summary of how they encountered in various situations. It eventually got so bad he’d eventually being reciting them without any scroll because the parchment didn’t go that far. He had literally collected them all closely to himself every piece they offered and he also once gave them for the shortest memory and tracing. “All these. They’ve given me once happiness. Every last one of em’ no matter how small, how faint. It’s meeting and encountering. Whether they scarred me, they’ve almost killed me, they left their prints on me, n’ fondness or anger. They are what it means t’ LIVE. And I’m leaving out so many more... There’s still more to meet and encounter! That’s what it mean’s to be treasured by a pirate! Ye aren’t ever forgotten or thoughtless or least this is my code.” OOC: I’m probably personally missing some people but that’s a fault OOC, not an IC thing. I’ve eventually got to make a for-real list and go through all my archives. But yeah. This is sorta yet a glimpse or sneak-peek of what his real-ability and power stand as and when the story narrative gets to it. It’ll be more impactful and expansive. Though we’d literally be writing 300000+ stuff in one ask if I continued, which it no prob, it’s whatever and easy. But we’ll save it when I can give it polish in properly meaning. K3. if they could kill anyone without punishment, would they? CKS: “There’s no killing that isn’t ever without its punishment. Ye eventually are succumbed to pay fer it sooner or later. Whether a consciousness allows it, or something finds it. Doesn’t matter how hardened or emotionless intact ye may b’ if kill the wrong individual, it’ll have repercussions. However... Let’s assume I had this ‘magic solution’ without any ramifications and punishments, without any pain without any say or words. Where pain wasn’t an issue... Th’ person I choose is.” He’d bring his index finger out as if thinking and brainstorming before drawing it languidly to his own-face. “Myself.” May’ve sounded like a joke or him distastefully messing around but his tone and delivery weren’t without any delay. “If I could kill someone. As dark, as strange, emotionally, it sounds, it’d b’ me. Luckily. I don’t have yer power and that doesn’t exist. Think about what’d that’d mean? Who’d that affect? The people who’ve sacrificed and paved and cost risked, their lives, they left me with only scars, they’ve stitched me together even when I threw myself into hell-pit dens changing thing’s larger than life when I tried my mightiest to take an easy-outing.” “How fair would that be? Who the hell am I to call it to quit? There’s many people I’ve wronged. I’ve harmed, It won’t be the last. It’s their right to one day find me and exterminate me. But depending on the situation, I won’t lay down either. Because that implies, I’m not factoring the others who’ve came and paid the way to form me. All the tolls paid. The costs they’ve built me. I was more broken before than can be accounted for or attributed too. I’m a Seeker this is a fact. I find treasures. But -- people like ye, you’ve found me. I’m against myself, I’m an enemy in the cruelest parts and corners of myself. Though not all parts of me are this way. Another side of me watches and if I fall. It’ll know and If that comes out, that part. It’d still bring misery fer I’ve lost and abandoned all principals all morals and accepted becoming hollow. Death isn’t a type of freedom we should get t’ dictate for ourselves the one of only of ours in possessions that shouldn’t be ours. I sorta ov’ agree th’ obsidian scales in their warrior-like ways, they’ll fight n’ die until combat or battle takes them and then even still that doesn’t spell their end. Since I encountered and seen literal miracles happen with them that breaks all normality functions, I’ve met people only ye could fathom!” “I’ll die fer sure. I’m a’ make it happen with a contest and a slew of challenges if I can’t help it! I end after I’ve been bested n’ a lay, or t’ a slay. One-day someone’s going t’ strike true and when that time finally happens. I’ll b’ ready like my Captain prepared me for. T’ live to point ye can smile at yer death. Considering though at this rate all those that are counting on me to get t’ shores. T’ provide pleasures, to fulfill our quests, to solve our pacts, I’ve got a steep load to supply. In the event, I die without being able to issue anything I just mentioned, I’ve already won still. Cause to be the truth, I’m already smiling!” “Always.” OOC: His psychology is deeply a labyrinth of underline insanity and distortions, there’s no logic. No sense. No rhyme. It’s part of fabric and existence bent and warped and destroyed, repaired, destroyed, over and over because of mistreatment, neglect, and the most misfortune event of acquiring unintended something ancient that destroyed halve his soul. Inside him is already a place wicked enough for him when he tries to sleep. That is where his Tormented Planes exist because of these strange circumstances. Nightmares and mental anguish, fortitude, these are things that demolish him. But in living? When he’s awake. It’s all child-play. He’ll go out everything living to the fullest and if he’s trying to get some rest. That’s where all the vices come from. He can re-balance it all out by exhausting himself past nightmares and dreams. To a limited degree, he’s become somewhat a scuffed immortal almost practically a cursed one. He’s not invincible though. So he can’t stop inevitable turning events to change and dictate a stoppage of his life but his willpower has become its own entities the fractures between spirits, souls, mind everything that indifference's the comparison to ‘whole’ is like a mirror being shattered into many pieces of glass. With the right circumstance, advisory, conviction and truth behind a killing blow, eventually one of them will encounter all the plights and if they do it, they’d just learn. It was better off letting him live. He’s in more anguish and pain by this method. Though he’s not aware though just the levels of how easy it would be to kill him or what can do it cause he’s still receiving injuries and wounds like anything averagely would. Eventually, he’ll stumble probably against the wrong hole and it’ll be as they say, GG. ---But it has to happen organically and creatively with integrity without any odd attachment behind it. As this is a character literally who started off me trying to murder him in the beginning but for all six years other characters have invalidated those advances and together made complexity in evolution and progression with him and since he’s so brazenly open and free has become able to adapt with others to keep him aflame. I literally at this point he’s writing himself, I’m sort of just reading alongside you the next stupid or equally pro-founding stuff he says and does. R1. do they follow rules? CKS: He’d not even retort right away just laughing and cracking a rib.“...Sure.” He’d make an evident lie about it. OOC: This one is easy. He doesn’t follow any rules, ever. Humoring it sometimes maybe he’ll wear a shirt or something for a wedding for someone meaningful to him but depending on the levels of the rule of severity it’s taken and presented he’ll act minimum as possible or outright just piss on it.. Literally. ((Thanks for the ask @under-the-blood-moonlight I appreciate it. Lot of these questions would’ve been a lot less detailed and wordy if wasn’t for the established connection of who possibly and potentially could’ve asked this. Assuming IC she’d ask any of these. <3 <3 <3 Hope you’re well beauty. Shout out to a lot of the mentions. I disservice and downplay a lot of his reactions and abilities as a character, but eventually, slowly the mun is getting better and caught up to his level-sake.

#Answered for the Answers.#Under-the-blood-moonlight #<3

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unforth · 5 years ago

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Hi there! I absolutely loooove the destiel fic collection and think that it's a genius way to expose fans to fics that might not always get as much attention on fic recs and when searching on ao3. I was thinking of trying to create a similar collection for another fandom and was wondering if you have any tips? Or if there's anything that you wish you knew when you started it? Thank you!

Hi!! Just for openers, sorry I didn’t reply to this yesterday, my mom’s basement flooded and took with it all my writing time, sigh. ANYWAY. On to the topic at hand. How to make a “faves survey” for another fandom, and have it resemble what I’ve made for Destiel? Well, here’s what I’ve done, hopefully some of it will be applicable to you...

1. This is the most important part: Do NOT let it become or be perceived as a popularity contest. Never release the raw stats (except perhaps to a small number of people who you trust to help you). Never announce a “winner.” Never share a ranked list. Never act as if more votes equals better. Never ever suggest in anyway that your purpose to find “the best.” Treat people and fics who get one vote with just as much fanfare as people and fics who get 50 votes. I do release a “top 20″ list just because so many people asked, but even then, it’s in alphabetical order, and meant more as a snapshot. Encourage people to vote for their favorites that aren’t already in whatever collection you end up making, and encourage people to vote for things they don’t usually see on rec lists. Aim for an expansive range of types of fics being voted for, and make it clear - no ship shaming (or secondary ship shaming, if yours is ship-based like mine, rather than being general to a given fandom) or kink shaming.

2. Keep the survey super simple. People don’t read complex instructions, and they’re not going to want to rank lists or anything like that. You can see the one I use here. Feel free to emulate it, copy it, modify it for your own purposes. I used to just do boxes but people would routinely put in way more than 5/10, and while I didn’t really mind the extras, it greatly increased the amount of work I had to do, and since the survey routinely gets a couple hundred replies that I go through, I decided to make it a little harder for people to go over the limits. Don’t bother asking for people’s names or trying to validate the results. I’ve tried. People don’t want to put their names, and validation encourages people not to submit...AND doesn’t prevent cheating...so is really pointless. Just keep it anonymous, after four rounds I can say...that works best.

3. And, speaking of people going over the limits, and cheating...people will cheat. No matter how clear you are that number of votes don’t matter, no matter how much you insist that whatever data you’re collecting will only be used in so-and-so a way...you will spot people “cheating,” for various definitions of the word cheating. People who vote for their own works. People will submit multiple surveys. People will “ballot box stuff” for their favorite(s). People will list more than the maximums you’ve asked them to. People will submit works from other ships, and - though it’s never happened to me - if you make it fandom-general I’ll lay heavy odds at least one dumbass will submit for some other fandom entirely. It happens in different permutations every time, some more obvious than others, but it happens. And the conclusion I reached is...so fucking what? In the end, since the idea is to highlight as many different great works as possible...screw it. Let people vote for themselves. Let people ballot box stuff. Let people submit multiple surveys, or list more than whatever maximums you’ve set. In the end, since every work is treated as equal and one vote is worth as much as a hundred...if they’re cheating to up the vote count, it’s irrelevant, and if they’re cheating to vote for more works, then yay! more works to include! and basically the only thing I’ve found that reduces cheating is to make it absolutely clear to people that I’d really rather they not but ultimately I can’t stop them, so do their thing I guess? And it does help. I got less cheating each time I do it, or at least less that I’m able to catch lol. (as a side note - the one exceptions is the “works for others ships.” Those you can see listed on the “INELIGIBLE” sheet of the spreadsheet I link below, but I don’t add them to the AO3 collection.)

4. Spreadsheets are your best friend. You’re going to want some way to organize the data you’re collecting. I’ve got a public version of the sheet I use that you can see here. It’s pretty similar to my “private” version, except the private version includes actual vote counts, separated by which time(s) I did the survey that the work in question got votes. I mostly use that data so I can do comparisons over the years (“this year X works were added to the collection that were never in it before!”) and because I like numbers. However, depending on how exactly you plan to use the data, you may not even need to tally vote counts, and you could do one that’s more similar to my public version. Also, if you make an AO3 collection, you’re going to want some way to track which works you’ve invited, which have been added, etc., cause otherwise it’s just a nightmare to keep track of. (a little more on this later).

5. Decide how and where you’re going to share your data - as an AO3 collection? As a public spreadsheet? On social media? Maybe you want to make a side Tumblr just for it? Or a Discord server? etc. etc. Like, I’ve got a pillowfort group (though I hardly use it) and a channel in a Discord server (thanks again to the PB folks for making space for me!) with the AO3 collection being the main portal. You want to make sure that it’s advertised enough that people know it exists, and also be prepared that short term you’ll hear basically no feedback on whether people use it, and even long term it’ll be once in a blue moon and suddenly eight people will be like WAIT YOU’RE THE PERSON BEHIND THAT THING I LOVE THAT THING. In that respect it can feel a little thankless but I’ve definitely found that people do use it, it’s just that there’s no real way for people to let YOU know they’re using it (and, honestly...good? This isn’t really about us, after all, it’s about all these fic writers, the goal is to bring attention to them, not ourselves, we’re just a go-between for the writers and the readers.)

6. For making an AO3 collection, you’ll have to invite every single work individually. Some people have their accounts set to auto-accept invites, but otherwise whether the work actually gets added will depend on the authors. Some people will never accept the invite. Some people won’t know how to accept the invite. Some people will accept the invite and then subsequently remove their work. Some people have left these parts completely and will never even see the invite. That’s why it’s important to track who has added and who hasn’t, and periodically double check it (I double check every six months or so). For the people who don’t accept the invites for whatever reason, you can bookmark the item to the collection. HOWEVER, if you do this with your personal account, every single one of those bookmarks will be listed under your personal AO3, which is why I ultimately made the Faves survey its own account - it’s entirely to facilitate bookmarking. You can also use the “Bookmark External Work” feature to link to works that aren’t on AO3, and to tag them to whatever extent you want to. Here’s some examples of how I chose to bookmark external works.

7. Things will inevitably get complicated. Authors will change their names. People who do the survey will use shorthand you’ve never heard of for some fic you don’t know. People will misspell things and you’ll either recognize it even with the typo...or you won’t. People will vote for things that list eight different ships and you’ll have no idea which one is endgame. People will vote for things that have been deleted, or they’ll tell you it’s definitely on AO3 when it’s not, it’s on some other platform. The list of random things I’ve had to deal with is stupidly long and I’ve probably forgotten even more. Just...roll with it. Do your best. Ask for help (“Someone nominated a fic abbreviated as ABC to the collection and didn’t give the author and I have no idea what it is, help me Tumblr!”). And in the end, if you’ve done everything you can think of and you still don’t know...let it go. It’s just not that worth worrying about. And sometimes if you step away and look again in a few days you’ll figure out another way to search and it’ll pop up. But honestly I’ve got a handful of works I still haven’t been able to track down, and that one work that someone submitted that’s only available in Finnish and is explicit and behind a log-in wall on a small independent Finnish-only fic archive...well, I spoke to the author and confirmed the work exists, but otherwise...whelp, it’s not linked, and I did my best. That’s all you can do.

8. No matter what you do, someone somewhere will probably get upset about it. The first time I did the survey, when it got the most traction, I actually got a little hate, and I got some anons who were like “oooooo did you know that ~x~ is cheating” and I had a little “HOW DARE YOU NOT PLAY FAVORITES WHAT ABOUT MY PERSONAL FAVE?” and just...decide how you’re approaching the survey, and stick to your guns, and if anyone is a douche, hit the block button. And, related...

9. Transparency is most important imo. Not transparency for vote counts obviously, but transparency for what you’re doing, and why you’re doing it, and what you hope to accomplish. Make sure your goals are clear from the start (mine weren’t that first time, hence some of the problems I encountered) - if it’s to highlight as wide a range of works as possible, say that. If it IS to pick a favorite, say that too. Just be clear, and honest, and above board, and it should work out okay.

10. Side note...one of the saddest things about all this is that if you do it over an extended period you’ll see authors deleting their works. As such, I personally chose to download every work that gets a vote, that way it’s at least preserved. I then expanded that into a much larger archive that I’m still adding to all the time, trying to save as much Destiel as possible. But then, I’m an archivist at heart, whether you want to branch out in that kind of direction is up to you.

...okay, that’s everything I can think of. Hopefully I didn’t scare you too bad. I don’t know what fandom/ship you’re looking at but for perspective...first time I did the survey I got about 400 replies, and then the next two times it got about 200, and this most recent time it got about 300. I chose to do mine annually, on the assumption that gives some time for people to come and go for fandom and a lot of new works to get created, and I deliberately timed it for about a month after the biggest fandom event (the DCBB) that generates fics, to give people time to read those fics and consider them in their voting. For me, that means I happen to run the survey starting on January 1st, and I keep it limited to 15 days, since usually it tapers off anyway. But you could try experimenting with different schedules, or leaving it open all the time, etc., it just depends how much time you want to devote to monitoring and updating it. For me, I mostly want to do a big burst of work and then not have to think about it most of the rest of the time, lol.

So...questions? comments? thoughts? wanna tell me I’m dead wrong? I’m all ears, lemme know how I can help!

#destiel favs survey #unforth replies #sorry if this is a mess I've GOT to do some writing so I don't want to take the time to edit it #treatlouwithkindness

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leah-halliwell92 · 5 years ago

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Romanian Rhapsody

Summary: Almost two years before Dracula awakens, Dr. May Van Helsing is abroad gathering her own information on the legendary vampire. Years have passed since Jonathan Harker’s visit to what should be the ruins of Castle Dracula. Years since the village people have spoken or even warned anyone away from it. What will May find the deeper she digs into the Count’s home?

Previously:

May shrugged not knowing what to think, “I don’t know and right now I don’t have time to worry I’ve to undo what she and her team have done to my domain.”

Sam and Raven shared a look but understood where she’s coming from so let her be. It had been two years so there are things that need to be put to rights.

Chapter 1 – Chapter 2 – Chapter 3 – Chapter 4

Chapter 5

A couple of days later, May found herself breathing a sigh of relief as she slumped backwards on her chair. Because she’d finally managed to get all the records and files in order, the physical files were all in their respective homes, the more sensitive ones have been put back in their locked cabinet, for these she made a note to change the locks and keep the spare key close.

Raven and Sam had been running themselves ragged along with her when it came to not only organizing the archives room but also the area in general. Just as lunch rolled around, Sam and Raven walked in take away bags in hand.

“I know you don’t condone eating real food in here but I’m in no mood to deal with the likes of one Dr. Jack Seward today,” Sam said as she took a seat in one of the spare chairs in May’s office.

“What did he do this time?” May asked as she picked up the containers that were respectively filled with wonton soup, white rice, stir fried vegetables and Mongolian beef. Luckily the trio likes the same Chinese food, sharing between them is no issue.

“You know that girl from accounting?” Sam asked with a hum.

Raven and May nodded at this as they began to eat.

“The little bugger decided to bad mouth me in front of her and now she refuses to go out with me,” Sam seethed as she too served herself a plate.

The trio sighed heavily at this.

Jack seemed to make it his life mission to drive them mad whenever they don’t do as he orders them to. He had Zoe around his finger, Bloxham is cow that has her own agenda, and the rest of the foundation bar a select few follow his lead as if it were the most natural thing in the world all because of what she and her friends do for and in the foundation.

“Why the hell did I decide it was a good idea to have a crush on him?” May groaned.

“Because at first glance he is smart, looks to be sensitive, is cute and so happens to work where you work,” Sam listed off nonchalantly.

Raven nodded agreeing with Sam’s list before saying, “And then he let his colors show, saw an in to the archives through the crush you have for him and abused that thinking he could get away with it.”

“Which lead to me leaving for two years to move my delusional ass on from this pointless crush,” May said with a shake of her head at her own naivety.

“Don’t,” Sam said voice firm.

“What,” May said with brows raised.

“It’s not naive to hope,” Sam said still firm, “It’s not naive to want to have something good in your life and it’s not naive to hope to find it where you work...i.e where you spend most of your time as it is.”

May nodded numbly taking in what her friend had said. Sam’s right, to be naive is one thing and to be hopeful is another, it irked her some to see she still needed to learn the difference between the two.

The trio continued to eat in silence enjoying the when Raven groaned nearly spilling her food as she did.

“What?” Sam asked curiously.

“Did you both forget what today is?” Raven asked incredulously.

May and Sam exchanged puzzled look the latter giving their friend a shrug.

“Its Valentines Day weekend,” she said still shocked that she’d forgotten.

May groaned loudly as Sam looked like she at the canary.

“Zoe’s probably not going to be here for too long,” Sam said knowingly.

“The foundation will pretty much be empty bar the stupidly thin skeleton crew,” May added with a nod.

“And I need to get Eva something,” Raven said with a sigh.

“Hey do you still have that coupon I gave you for that place down the street from me?” Sam asked as if she’d gotten the best idea of the year.

Raven nodded with a blush.

“Let’s go and see what they have then,” she said with a wiggle of her brows, “You’ve been whining about not having a proper toy to have with your wife for ages. Maybe it’s time for that dream to come true.”

May laughed at the look on Raven’s face and said, “Come on Rae, you know she’s right.”

Raven huffed a laugh and nodded along with her friends.

The day progressed with a buzz that hadn’t been there before for May. It now carried with it an energy she wished she could ignore. Alas, she’d do as she’d always done and keep moving forward.

She was on her last break of the day when Sam sent her a text that both Jack and Zoe had been to the archive and taken with them a couple of files each to the cage floor. A welcomed and appreciated heads up from Sam May had to say. That’s how the dance went between Zoe, Jack and her. Avoidance is the best factor, or so they have said.

She went to her office her break no over to see which files were missing. She rolled here eyes at the selection and wrote them down on a sticky note to take up with her when it was her turn to grind the midnight oil. May didn’t like working nights, she hated it, but it beat seeing the lust sick fools on the streets trying to flirt their way into her bed. No matter how many times Sam has sad a one night stand is not bad idea depending on one’s mood.

May spend the rest of the afternoon compiling the pieces she’d gathered from her study of Castle Dracula to be added to the already existing file originally put together from what the late Mr. Harker had told the nuns at the monastery. She’d found she had to correct somethings here and there but most of the stuff already on file fit the information she’d gathered. She’d thought about giving Zoe their great-grandmother’s notes and diaries but decided against it. Because as much as she wanted to blame her death on Dracula, she felt there was more to this than what they’d been led to believe.

Jack had been down here and there trying to charm files out of her. Having had enough she’d rejected his advances and demanded he go through the proper channels to gain access to the files he was requesting. The pinched look on his face told her enough. But like hell would she be cowed because he didn’t like it when people told him no.

“Don’t you need a slice of humble pie,” Sam said as she sauntered in looking more than ready to leave the foundation for the night, “Zoe sent me to tell you she’s looking for you.”

Jack seemed to have an uncanny resemblance to Percy Weasley with how he glared at Sam but did as bid and left.

“You sure you want to stay?” She asked May once Jack was out of earshot.

May nodded and said, “Better here than out there. Stupid prick wants to use my crush for him to get what he wants when Lucy is doing just that.”

“Except unlike Lucy, you won’t spread your legs for just anyone,” Sam said knowingly.

May grinned at that and nodded.

“Seriously though, are you sure? I could cancel and we can have a night laughing at violent slasher movies?” Sam said worried for her best friend.

“Don’t worry about me Sam,” May reassured, “Better here where there is quiet than out there. Plus if Zoe needs me I’ll already be here so I won't have her nagging about not doing my work.”

Sam nodded not convinced but let things be. She bid May good night and made her way to the elevator to head home. She saw Zoe and Jack talking quietly to each other on her way out.

“She needs to do as she is ordered,” she heard Jack say derogatorily, “She’s a pencil pusher there to give us the files we need and put them back.”

“She’s more than that Jack–”

“No Zoe don't give me that,” he snapped, “You don't even believe that yourself and you know it. She’s nothing but a glorified secretary.”

Sam stopped at that and turned to face the couple.

Zoe caught the heated look Sam was sending them and at least had the decency to look ashamed.

“She’s your sister,” Sam said voice ice cold, “You’re supposed to defender against pricks like this like she's done for you on so many other occasions. Do you really doubt her so much that you’d fail her in this manner?”

Zoe paled at this knowing Sam is right before finding a certain spot on her shoes very interesting all of the sudden.

“And you,” she said looking to a now nervous Jack, “What’s the matter? Can’t have the one you want so you bully the one that’s had it for you since we began working here? How much more cowardly can you get?”

Turning back to Zoe she said, “You know it’s times like this when I realize that even Ted Bundy would have been a good bloke to date for your sister compared to this clown, good night.”

00//00//00

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secretsfromwholecloth · 5 years ago

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Deadfire, day 10.

It’s a little odd to hear Edér in the DLCs occasionally address the Watcher as “Watcher”. I don’t remember him doing that much if at all before.

I don’t know why I didn’t get the quest to fetch the Titan’s Heart at the same time as all the others, but I guess I’m taking an extra trip back to Neketaka. Well, if there’s any way to get the thing without being caught stealing and having to murder everyone in Wakoyo’s office, this is the playthrough to discover it.

Answer: I thought there wasn’t and I would just have to get murdering, but then I stole the thing and didn’t get caught? Huh. I’ll take it!

Either rogues are ridiculously powerful or I’m getting less bad at the combat in this game, because so far the fights I was afraid of and kicked down the difficulty for have been hilariously, “maybe I ought to try them on Relaxed next time” easy. Mind, I’ll probably regret all my life choices if I actually do that.

So, stick around to level up people’s soulbound gear a bit more? Yeah, I think so. Nice of the game to make all the arena fights repeatable.

This is the first playthrough where I bothered using traps, so I only just now got the achievement for using five of them. Which is the last one I’m ever likely to get, looking at what’s left.

Either Edér is impervious to just about everything or I’m picking the wrong fights, because his shield needs him to get hit with afflictions to level up, and it’s not going very quickly.

All right, Anlaf and Konstanten are done with their pieces, and Edér will have plenty more opportunities. Time to pack it in and get started on The Forgotten Sanctum.

If you heard a faint squeeing noise just now, that was me.

Sadly for me, with a Watcher with no support abilities, I can’t bring both Rekke and Aloth along; one of them will have to cede their spot to a healer. So which will it be? Neither is the star of the DLC, but they both got a lot of love from it; Aloth got a lot of attention in the early and mid-game but hasn’t been in the party for a while now, whereas I just had Rekke along for much of BoW and all of SSS, but that was the first time I actually used him. You know what, I think I’ll keep Rekke, and our new and improved ranged-weapon-using Xoti can be the healer. I don’t think I’ve ever brought her along for TFS—even Oriol tore himself from her side to get Rekke, Fassina, and Aloth into the party.

Grinning all through Tayn’s introductory conversation, as usual. I like Tayn. He’s the same kind of fuckup I am, just slightly less of one.

Oh gods, the drug trip. Edér and Rekke’s lines are classic, but I do wish Fassina had something to say for herself there.

I’d say Tayn and Edér need to be friends, but no, they absolutely do not need to be friends. There’s no way that ends well for Eora.

Is...oh no. Xoti? Are you starting a screaming argument with Edér? Is that what this is?

Oh. No, this isn’t a screaming argument, this is something entirely different. Xoti, you said you were over him. Was that a lie to try and get Anlaf into your bunk, or did you get over him and then get un-over him? (There’s a pun in here somewhere about getting under him, but the whole point of this exchange is that she hasn’t and wants to.)

You know, 27-year-old Xoti calling 37-year-old Edér “a little old” is an absolutely valid opinion, but my experience and the norms of my ethnic community right on up to my mother’s generation leave me eyebrowing a bit. (Disclosure: I’m 36 myself, which may or may not be influencing my view of this.)

I’m just going to sit here and have feelings about the presence of the “Hands off. Edér’s mine.” option, though Anlaf certainly won’t be taking that one. (Clelia and Eiheune never got this conversation, but even if they had, that wouldn’t have been their reaction—Clelia would’ve whistled for the rest of the OT4 to witness the possible new addition to the polycule, and Eiheune would’ve shrugged and been like, that’s between you two, I’ll talk to him about it later.)

I’m very bad at portraying romance, yes. But I’m far worse at portraying monogamy.

The “Have you shown him your...charms?” option? No. No, don’t. She’ll actually go and do it. Possibly right here in front of two archmages, three imps, the rest of the party, and a bunch of mysterious tentacles.

Xoti’s story about trying to catch him half-asleep and then get him drunk into the bargain to lower his resistance = XOTI NO. Her getting a couple of approval bumps from Edér for telling it in a jokey way is just the icing on the fucked-up cake here.

And you know, I gave her enough time with Maia that they started throwing up romance banters, so I officially wash my hands of Xoti’s love life.

Anyway. I was heading to the Archives before I got sidetracked, right? Right.

...no, I apparently do not have a sufficiently ridiculous Mechanics score to pick the lock without dispelling the illusion first.

I’ve got some feelings about the note from Galven Regd about how everything we know about the War of Black Trees is a lie.

And some very different feelings about the manual for the flesh construct controller. If there’s one part of this series that’s ripe for kinkshaming, it’s this DLC. :D

I’m letting Rekke knock over all the book piles, because he seems to find it funniest out of everyone in the party. You’re welcome, kiddo.

I’m going to pronounce “Llengrath” with initial /ɬ/ and no one can stop me.

Oh, the mycelium in the Central Stacks. “The fungus shivers at your blow. Possibly in pleasure.” Yep, kinkshaming time.

The only inconvenient thing about giving Xoti a ranged weapon is that she hangs back too far from the front lines for her Circle of Protection to cover the melee squad. Protecting Fassina is better than nothing, but still.

Do you really think I’m not going to lick the runes when given the opportunity?

Sure, Rekke, go ahead and lick them too if you want.

So, Xoti, that Waidwen’s a cutie, isn’t he? The sort you might write erotic fiction about if you were that way inclined? You, uh, wouldn’t know anything about this book here, would you?

I can’t read “A True and Accurate Account of the Ten’s Final Stand” without having it in the back of my mind that Edér was 17 when the Godhammer went off. Seventeen! Imagining him as a skinny kid with only one-third of a clue what he’s doing, becoming Divine King of the Dyrwood or whatever the fuck and going to his death on that bridge...yeesh, it’s painful enough to think about Waidwen, who was at least a grown man when it all went down.

Oh, hello, fungus Llengrath. Ahem. It’s rude to stare, you know. Even if the eyeball falls off and rolls away afterwards.

Fyonlecg, I do enjoy listening to your VA, but you’re being very tedious right now. You and your creepy remote-controlled worm body.

The archmages’ opining on the Hand Occult falls squarely into Does This Remind You Of Anything territory, heh.

I love hearing Concelhaut complaining about everything. And you can’t do a godsdamned thing about any of it, you horrible old skull.

And I’m just going to sit here and have a metric fuckton of feelings about Bekarna, while I’m at it.

And there’ll be more fun stuff in the morning, it’s rather late.

#pillars of eternity #deadfire #watcher Anlaf

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furin-chwan · 5 years ago

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LuTen fic recommendations: a few favorites.

So I spent the last month falling in love with LuTen, Yukten, Tencas, whatever you want to call it. I read through the Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Wong Yukhei | Lucas tag on AO3 in English, then doubled around to google translate all fics in languages that is not English because that is how much whipped I am for this pairing.

In the process, I discovered some gems that broke my heart, some healed my soul, some got me howling in laughters and some made me falling even deeper in love with LuTen.

Now that I’m pretty much up-to-date with the tag, I want to compile a short list of my All-Time-Favorites, Favorites, and Honorable mentions. I’ll try not to talk about the defails, so you don’t get spoiler and can enjoy it to the fullest. (I also want to say, I love reading things with Angst, but I mostly can’t stand if if it’s not Happy End. So there will be a couple that will hurt, as a warning)

This is gonna be lengthy since I ramble a lot! So I’ll keep it to top 3 and a few honorable mentions. They will all be completed works.

First off,

In Shades by the munchking.

This work. I cannot, CANNOT, recommend it enough. I have so much to say about it, but at the same time, I don’t know what really to say. It left me a broken, sobbing mess after reading it. I don’t think I was ever really the same anymore. This is truly one of the best work I have read, across all of the fandoms. There was a recess period where I cannot even think about it because it would hurt in the best way, but it was still too much. I love it with all my heart, so much that I was so sad after reading it, then so mad, then I now just re-read it every other day.

The characters, the world-building, the writings, they are just absolutely unparalleled. There is so much depths to everything, and everytime I read it, I would catch something about the story, the foreshadows, the tiny tibbits of brilliance that I never did before. I have this work always open on my phone browser, just so I can go back and quickly read it whenever the urge hits me. It has everything from angst, fluff, the smexy stuffs, the badass-ness, everything.

While I will quote the whole fic to find a favorite part, since it is that brilliant, I can’t do that hear because that’ll be spoilers, so here’s a snippet:

The trouble with love, Ten thinks, is that it blinds you. It’s the most powerful force in the world, and according to Ten’s first law of motion, objects in love tend to stay in love. Ten really doesn’t want to fight.

If I ever have to pick an absolute favorite Luten fic, it would HAVE to be this. This is bookmarked in my account as “All Time Favorite” tag with a “THIS ONE FUCKED ME UP, FUCK” in the note. So yes.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20926073

Next, we have

Eyes Closed to the Wreckage by caesiumlight

This is the first Luten fic that got an “All Time Favorite” tag from me. I have an immense weakness for Spies/Super Agents AUs and darker-tone AUs in general, so this hits home right on first ball throw. The thrill, the badass-ness, the tension. I live for this (especially when we got SuperM’s concept of suits and gadgets, super agents/spies/soldier looking photoshoots and trailer, I am weak okayy?)

I am in love with how Lucas is written in here. The characterization is well done, and the interactions between characters is also such a feast to dive in. And even though it was in Lucas’ perspective, we still get to see so much of Ten despite everything.

Favorite part

There’s a presence at his side suddenly, and Lucas is pulled into an embrace. Ten cradles him securely with one hand gripping his. He doesn’t say anything, only strokes the back of Lucas’ neck. Lucas shakes harder in relief, breath stuttering, because he doesn’t know if he’d be able to pull himself out of this black hole alone. Ten holds him until he has nothing left, no tears left to soak the bloodied ground.

I have re-read this work five times, and even translated it into Vietnamese. So you know how whipped I for them.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14311836

Then, it’s

I, who was chosen by love, begin to moonwalk by zimriya

I’m a simple fan who likes ABO verse, especially the old school Alpha/Omega pairing (hey, sometimes I just want to read the PWP). Then this work came at me with something completely different and hit me with substance not just style, and I was ended just like that. It breaks the norm for this type of setting, and I loved every second of it.

The ache in here is real, it doesn’t hurt like In Shades, but this one you feel a constant humming of the sweetest type of aches. But then it just... dissipate into this warmth of softness and love and it will be the best thing ever. Ten is also written differently in here than how most would portray him in other works which was interesting refreshing to see.

Even when the setting is not real, their troubles and thoughts still feel real, relatable, and believable, and I think that’s the best thing you can achieve in writing. And while it’s an installment of a larger series, it doesn’t make you feel like you are missing out on information, it feels full like a stand alone piece. (However I do recommend other installments of this series even though they are all in different pairings, Ten and Lucas do make pretty great cameos).

A couple part stood out to me, but this is one of my faves for sure:

like Yukhei didn’t worm his way in close to him like some sort of overgrown, over-dimpled weed, with bad manners and bad Mandarin and even worse ideas about personal space and how friends with benefits were even supposed to work. Like Yukhei wasn’t what he saw when he woke up more often than not, or the last thing in his sight before he fell asleep. Like he wasn’t the one who brought Ten coffee how he liked it and humored all his little issues with any and all fruits; taught him tiny bits of Cantonese like it was second nature and then turned around and acted like he was the worst at languages.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21839893

That’s my top three most memorables! Now, here are some honorable mentions:

Stories no one believes in yet by umiwomitai

A very cute AU with good balance of humor, fluffs, and feelings. It is well written and I’d come back to this for a pick-me-up kind of moment.

“See, I may not look like Einstein, but I’m not stupid either. Xuxi is my dog, and you, though you might behave like one, are not a dog. Answer my question now,” he kicks the man in the thigh as he says so, earning a puppy look that makes him want to sigh in despair. What had he done to deserve this?

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19724677

I Regular by umiwomitai

This work is fascinating to me, it touches upon really interesting subjects (unlearning prejudices and biases) and has subtle but great the world-building. What stood out in this work for me is the great and believable character development. It’s definitely an emotional ride, but it’s a full filling one.

In the bright fake yellow light, Lucas’s hair appear more blond than brown and Ten wonders if it would feel just the same as his if he ran his hands through it. If it would hurt if he pulled. If it would curl back into place if he tried to style it differently.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24288823

The Cure to Insomnia by Daydreamgirl

Softest thing ever. Seriously whenever I’m sad or hurt from reading too much angst, this heals me. It’s very wholesome too. Very much recommended.

Lucas immediately looked away from his phone and looked up at Ten. Ten was satisfied. He was sure Kun usually had to call Lucas three times to get him away from the phone.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21461449

signs of my vitamin U deficiency by sugarcoats

Fun, cute, smexy time with fruit-phobia Ten and personal trainer Lucas, there was a banana bj involved what more do I need to say.

Can’t quote anything from this one because I thought the summary is enough to hook you.

In which Ten is afraid of fruits and Lucas, his nutritionist, finds it worrisome but adorable.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18694945

the art of sales and falling in love by actuallyshua

Good old cat-and-dog style banter. Super charming writing. Bonus point with office AUs. It’s fun, it’s charming, it’s a gem.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20132332

And that’s it, my friends. That is my list of recommendations for LuTen.

I hope you will enjoy them as much as I did. If there’s any work you love that I haven’t mentioend the price, please don’t hesitate to let me know through asks, comments/mentions, or dms. Please check out the fics above and give them much love and support from us!

P.s: I didn’t mention in the list, it’s just because I assume everyone who knows LuTen have read through that series multiple time. If you haven’t, please do yourself a favor and go read it.

#luten #tencas #yukten #wong yukhei #ten lee #chittaphon leechaiyapornkul #wayv #lucas wong #superM #LUCAS #TEN #fic recs #fanfic recs #fic recommendation #nct #superm

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ourimpavidheroine · 5 years ago

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An Anniversary

Five years ago today, the 13th of February, 2015, I published, all in one shot, a piece of fanfiction called Please Excuse My Penmanship.

I hadn’t, at that point, written - never mind published - any fanfiction for over fifteen years. I had written some X-Files fanfic back in the day but I’d lost it; my backup floppies disappeared when I moved to Finland and, like just about everyone else back then, the places I had posted it to online disappeared without warning. (Toss a coin to your Archive, oh valley of plenty.) I’d been pretty torn up about losing my fic that way, which put me off writing. Time went on; I had twins in 2002 and they both turned out to have non-verbal autism and different flavors of ADD/ADHD and my life got very complicated and very difficult for a lot of years there. Writing for pleasure wasn’t even on the table.

By 2015 my life had settled a bit. My wife was disabled and suffering from severe and untreated depression and the kids were in special ed and a lot of therapies but we were managing. I had watched Avatar: The Last Airbender with my kids (on DVD - they were too young for it when it first aired) and had gone on to watch The Legend of Korra with them as well.

I really liked Mako as a character; he was too internal and complex for most of the kids watching, however, and wasn’t well liked. Most fans saw an inflexible jerk who caused and fucked up a love triangle; what I saw was an autistic man who was suffering from pretty severe PTSD. He grabbed my interest. I related.

I really liked his dynamic with Prince Wu, despite the fact that he was a really annoying character. Queer-coded as fuck, although the showrunners were plainly ignoring it. And I started to headcanon who they would be as a couple. How to make Wu less annoying while still making him canon Wu? How to humanize Mako while still acknowledging his autism and PTSD? Headcanon was all it was, though, a way for me keep myself occupied. I’ve been writing stories inside my head as long as I can remember. It’s what I’ve always done.

I read a post on here on Tumblr where the OP stated that there was no such thing as a good Letter Fic; I thought to myself, Bet I could do it. And so in the end of January 2015 I sat down at my PC and started to type up all of my headcanon.

I went back and forth with Wu. What I first started to write was too clumsy, by half; I tried to stick to his endless slang and it was as annoying as it had ever been on the show. I knew if I stuck to that shallow, silly, stupid, canon Wu he wouldn’t be interesting to read. I struggled with it for a time until I remembered something.

My maternal grandmother told me a story once about a girl from Mexico. Claudia was her name; she was a year older than my mother. Her own mother had died when she was born; her father, who was one of my grandfather’s business partners in Mexico, had left her in the care of her grandparents, who were extraordinarily wealthy denizens of Mexico City. At some point the adults involved thought that it would be a great idea to send this girl to stay with my mother’s family to learn English; in return, my mother would then go and stay a summer in Mexico City to learn Spanish. (Which she did; she’s fluent to this day.) Claudia had no English at all but my grandmother had working Spanish and I guess they all figured it would be enough for this poor girl?

The first day Claudia arrived in San Francisco my grandmother kindly showed her into the bathroom and told her to take a shower. My Grams realized about ten minutes or so later that the water hadn’t turned on; she went to check on her and there she was, sitting obediently on the toilet seat, fully dressed, waiting for the maid to come and undress her and turn the water on for her shower.

She had no idea how to do either of those things for herself. She had never, at the age of thirteen, undressed herself or operated a shower. And there it was, the opening of my story. Wu remembers arriving in Republic City on the run from the Red Lotus, checking into the hotel, and having no idea whatsoever what to do next. And I thought to myself...What if he isn’t actually stupid?

And there he was. My Wu. Just like that.

I wrote feverishly for a week, drawn into the story that was sitting in my head, waiting to be told. I didn’t have a Betareader; my wife liked my writing but rather tersely told me that TLOK wasn’t her fandom and she wasn’t interested in reading it, something that hurt me pretty deeply, especially since my X-Files fanfic was how we’d actually connected in the first place.

(She was, at that time, in the process of slowly dying of heart failure, but I didn’t know that then.)

I wasn’t going to publish it. I just wanted to write it, to see if I still had it together after a seventeen year hiatus. Wuko wasn’t at all a popular ship; after the show finale a couple of months prior all the fanfiction being feverishly written and published was Korrasami. (In fact, I checked AO3 at the time and found exactly two Wuko fanfics, both of which were one-shots and not to my particular taste.) I went back and forth with it and then thought, Fuck it. I’ll just do it. And maybe no one will read it but at least I’ll have done it. I read it through one more time and then, on the thirteenth of February, took a deep breath, told myself to stop being a coward, and posted the entire fic at once.

I got my first comment, and I was elated. And then I thought to myself, Well, fuck, you may as well write some of the other stuff in your head. You might learn something about yourself as a writer on the way.

Then, a few months later, on the seventeenth of June, my world fell apart. My wife, staying at our summer cottage with our twelve year old twins, died of a heart attack while the kids were off playing and I was here at home, getting ready to travel down the next day on the train to meet them all for the summer. My daughter was the one to find her; she was long past saving at that point. Family friends brought the children, our pets, and our car the two hours back home as I collapsed on the floor of our flat and rocked myself back and forth, wordlessly keening, my hands trembling uncontrollably.

The next year was unspeakable. I was a widow at forty-six; I was living in a foreign country with two disabled children, with no family or friends nearby and an imprecise grasp of the language. My wife had told me she had life insurance; she lied. I was flat broke. My grief was deep and whole and devastating; my children were traumatized and barely functioning. I had no one to help me, and I’d cook meals at midnight so my sleeping children wouldn’t hear me sobbing in the kitchen.

And I wrote.

I wrote out of desperation; I had to do something to keep me tethered to this world. I wrote of love and families, of a traumatized child from the street that was my daughter’s age, full of bravado and choked fury. I wrote of an autistic boy growing into a man, bullied and shunned, aching to be free, much like my own.

I took my children to more therapists. I took myself to a therapist that turned out to be homophobic; I found another one. I made dinners; I cleaned the house, I walked in circles around my living room, whispering over and over to myself, You’re okay you’re okay you’re okay you’re okay, before making another phone call.

And I wrote.

In August of 2018 my daughter attempted suicide and was hospitalized. I was trying to write I Do Not Ask The Night For Explanations and I had to stop. I had severe panic attacks whenever I tried to work on it. I brought her home and I cut my work hours down to four hours a week so that I could be with her at all times; she wasn’t safe to be left alone. I cared for her. I cared for her twin, who was terrified, unable to sleep, afraid that if he wasn’t watching her she’d try it again. I fought until I got them different therapists. I stopped sleeping. My health suffered.

And I wrote. When I could. It was, without any doubt at all, the only thing that was keeping me going during that time. I would tell myself that I had to keep going, that I still had so much of this story in my head, I needed to get it out. Sometimes I would write while sobbing. Sometimes I would sit here at my desk and nothing would come. I just kept going, though.

It’s better now. She missed most of last year of school and is making it up this year and doing so well. Her brother is at a new school and has, for the first time in his life, made friends. I was able, in December, to actually leave them for three days; the first time I had been away from them since we lost their mother.

They’ll be eighteen this summer and we’re finally able to breathe. We’re moving forward, the three of us. We’re still broken, but we’re making something new out of the pieces instead of trying to put them back together.

My writing is what saved me. It wasn’t about how many hits/comments/kudos I got; I appreciate every single one I get, believe me. But the writing was making me hold myself accountable, making myself get out of bed, get dressed, brush my hair and teeth, sit down and try. Sometimes that was all I could manage; the writing just wasn’t happening. But it gave me a goal when I needed one. And boy, did I need one.

Thank you all for reading. For those of you that have been there since the beginning and those who just started reading now. For those who faded away from the fandom over time or who left because they didn’t like how the story was going; I wish you well and thanks for reading when you did. Thank you for the hits and the kudos and the comments. You may not have known you were helping to save me, but you were. So thank you.

I am not done writing yet. I am not oblivious; I know I am so far in AU territory now that you’re for all intents and purposes reading original fic. That’s okay. It’s the story that was in my head, that is still in my head. Maybe someday I’ll try to publish it and maybe I won’t, and I’m fine with that. I’m not ready at this point to do what’s necessary to take it past fanfic and that’s okay. It has served and is continuing to serve its purpose for me; if you all enjoy it then that’s just biscuits and gravy, as my Great-Aunt Margie used to say.

I wrote us all a little anniversary ficlet; this takes it full circle for me. (And then back I go to Wu and Qi’s wedding!)

Mind the warnings at the bottom if you think you need them.

Chapter 132: 252: Wu

#My fanfiction #five year anniversary #long post #cw:death #cw:suicide #cw:trauma

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hithereheidi · 5 years ago

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a departure.

i haven’t been active for quite a bit on here. then again, i notice i’ve been active as little as i used to. don’t worry. i’m fine though. i was just busy with stuff. and when i had some free time in my hands, i would browse.

it’s been almost a decade since i made this tumblr blog. i remember when i started off as a fan account to connect with those who shared similar interests. that kept on going until four-six years later (i made a separate side blog entirely for fan content. mostly relating to youtube.), and i shifted my image to what it is/was to this day. i mean, there’s still some interests that i’ve shared, but i didn’t share it rampantly (or so i like to think).

i’ve shared interests in video games, over the garden wall, studio ghibli, wes anderson, the legend of zelda, and who knows what else in 2018-19. i’ve spewed my personal life (and other things i probably shouldn’t have posted) around 2012-14. if anything, i was an open book. an open book of things i liked, an open book of past errors; an open photo book you find at a coffee table or a doctor’s office.

now, to the real details as to why i just haven’t been active: well, not only did i forget my password, but i just don’t see the appeal of coming on here anymore. i don’t see the fun of browsing through the dashboard and seeing posts that regard politics or distressing topics. now don’t get me wrong, i am happy that people are spreading awareness of these things. they are serious and need to be discussed--that is, in a proper and civil manner. but if any of you have seen my blog, it’s not like that. to me, it was always meant to be this “escape from reality,” i guess. to keep away from politics. to keep away from distressing situations. to keep away from current events. to keep away from the world that is ever so dreary. as someone who abstains from discussing or engaging in politics or current events, going on here and seeing posts regarding these topics has just been tiresome for me. absolutely tiresome.

and, in this case, my time here may as well come to an end. it’s been over nine years and a month since the creation of this blog. i’ve been through handfuls of name changes. (notable examples include heidinicholetraumer, lastoftheamericangirls, hush-a-by-heidi, and this one.) i’ve reblogged many a silly meme back in 2011. i’ve had a fan blog myself for about three-four years until i removed that. (if any of you remember my dan and phil/game grumps/muse/stranger things fan blog, i’ll give you a veteran’s discount.) as for this blog, i’ll be keeping it up, as a means of preserving all that i’ve posted/reblogged. as a means of seeing how much i’ve matured, comparing myself from september of 2012 until now. as a means of progress. as a means of keeping all these semi-weird things i have in my archives. well, it’s been real. take care of yourselves & stay golden.

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twitter switch friend code: SW-0104-8911-9910 snapchat: heiditherehi discord: heiditherehi#1117

#shut up heidi #final tumblr post #goodbye #goodbye tumblr

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l-loneybun · 5 years ago

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♡ 2019 Art Summary + updates/plans for 2020

(25/01) sorry for the late update,, I meant to post this on the 1st,, but,, stuff happened;; u_u

TLDR: I’m going on hiatus. I’ll also be privating a lot of my posts here if they’re text posts, or art I just don’t like. I really want this blog to look like a proper portfolio for when I come back;; Probably won’t be back until May or even later,, might go fuq off to a new account just to see how well I can do on my own for a bit,, Ty for support + have a nice year~ _______________________________________________________________

*big sigh I have to rewrite a lot of this bc my computer died and I was to stupid to draft this before*

So basically, this year’s art summary is surprisingly better than last year’s. I didn’t really notice since I’ve actually been feelin p shit about my progress until I put this together. Definitely more variation in style compared to 2018 (can’t believe I said that “I got to experiment a lot” that year haha guess I was really grasping). The second half of this is pretty much just me going over my 2019 (not just art), so feel free to stop reading here!! Thanks for all the new support, I hope you all have a good 2020. _______________________________________________________________ This is just me really wanting to vent/express my thoughts somewhere, and I just find tumblr the most comfortable place to do that since it’s sort of more hidden and people don’t really read personal posts!! So here we gooooo

I can’t really remember most of January - April, just that I was really stressed about not finishing a portfolio for one of my classes hgjfkdls,, I also quit my job near the end of April since management changed for the worse;; Little did I know how it’s harder to get a job while unemployed,, (seriously what’s up with that?? I get that many people need to work 2+ jobs,, but I would like to live too;; qxq) So I gave up on looking for work, since I didn’t think anyone would want to hire me if I would be gone for over a month right in the middle of summer.

May - June consisted of trying to generate enough art pieces to meet my 1 piece per 5 days art schedule. I also started to fall out of the FE fandom while really getting in to Sonic again. I’m pretty sure I wanted to draw a lot of Pokemon and Zelda fanart as well,, but I was (and still am) at the point where I hate my human art, and being able to draw Sonic art — which I'm more comfortable with — was just much more appealing;; uxu I feel more familiar with these characters, and so many creative ideas just come to be (other than memes, like my FE stuff).

From August onward, though,, I just feel like things turned for the worse. I had (what I would assume was) my first panic attack during my exchange program. It’s feels so fucking pathetic that this would happen at 20 years old;; I thought I was so much better off compared to middle/high school when it came to keeping my anxiety in check, bu t guess not,, ahhahhahhahah,,,, and it wouldn’t be the only one this year;; :’)

I still wouldn’t have found a job after my return, but would still have enough money to pay off my first semester with some left over. Unfortunately, due to vet bills, I wouldn’t have enough to pay for a full course load for my second semester. This was also due to some poor planning on my part regarding commissions/adopts,, so oop;; I’m only taking one course this sem, so I’m looking for full-time work, but damn ! ! no job ! ! esp sucks since my mom is the only one paying for things atm;; soooo great

ugh;; I don’t want to talk about this anymore,, so I’ll just go onto plans/bucket list for 2020/2021, since I keep forgetting:: _______________________________________________________________

If you didn’t read the TLDR, basically I’m taking a break from all my art accounts and such. Even though I can see a lot of improval from 2018-2019, I’m still disappointed in my lack of anatomy/technical skills in my art, especially since I believe I told myself I would improve last year;; So I’m going to try avoid going online as much as possible since it’s really just too distracting,, I really want to dedicate all the time I have now to improving/adopting new skills, so my bucket list/new year’s resolutions for 2020 will be:

Improving human anatomy/developing a good artstyle for human art

Developing assets for RPG Maker XP games (???) (I actually forgot about the pkmn one I started in 2018 until I looked through my archive. I don’t think I’m actually going to make any playable games, just some nice things to look at.)

Learning how to use Blender + making many plant assets

Creating designs/inventory to sell at an anime convention for 2021

Saving up for a Canon EOS M50 Mirrorless Camera to document Artist Alley experience

Becoming ~ambidextrous~

That’s all I can remember for now, but I’m sure I’m forgetting some,,, um,, thanks if you read this for far?? I don’t really have much more to say;; ,,,,,, bye :x

#art summary #update

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