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quin-ns · 10 months

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Eventually (Coriolanus Snow x Reader)

Word count: 6.7k

Summary: Coriolanus could appreciate irony, but the one person he desires more than anything wanting nothing to do with him pushes him to new territory

Tags: (18+), cw: noncon, dark!coriolanus, deeply implied stalker!coriolanus, unreliable narrator coriolanus (boy is delusional tbh, no one is doing more mental gymnastics than him), pre-mentor era, obsession, unprotected sex, choking (only for like a second), virginity status undisclosed but as I was writing I began to imagine this being the first time for both of them—it’s not even implied tho, so do with that what you will

A/N: a character as evil as him I couldn’t conceive writing fluff for. he’s bad and guess what I’m not gonna fix him, but I also can’t make him not-hot so… hehe. please read the tags and proceed with caution <3

hunger games masterlist

You wanted nothing to do with him, and that made him crazy.

No, if anything, you were the crazy one. Coriolanus hadn’t done anything but try to be your friend, but you snubbed him without reason.

Coriolanus did a good job at keeping the financial situation of his family a secret. No one knew, and he doubted you were an exception. Yet, it was as if you looked down upon him.

Although, you’d grown fond of Sejanus, so even if you did know, status wasn’t a concern of yours. It was something he admired, yet questioned all at once. There had to be a reason for your dismissal. A reason you couldn’t bring yourself to even offer a smile back. It’s not like he was asking a lot.

It’s not like he wasn’t trying, either. He’d gotten used to trying to make people like him, to see him as better than he was, but it was never this hard. It would’ve been so much simpler if you just told him to his face what your problem was, but whenever he came around, mostly when you were talking to Sejanus—they were friends, it was the perfect excuse—you just went quiet. You’d greet him, make no effort to continue the conversation, then excuse yourself.

All Coriolanus wanted to know was why.

“You’re watching her again,” Clemensia whispered to him, eyes flicking between him and the paper in front of her.

They were class partners, but Coriolanus was beginning to think he spent too much time with her.

“Who?”

Clemensia let out a small chuckle, mocking him. The professor at the front of the class looked up, and Coriolanus quickly looked down at his paper, taking his eyes off of you.

“You’re too obvious,” she muttered, a smirk in her voice. “Maybe that’s why she doesn’t like you. Because you stare at her too much.”

She didn’t get a response—it didn’t deserve one. Coriolanus questioned why he ever told her anything. She made him sound like some sort of stalker. Which, for the record, he was not.

His eyes managing to find you frequently wasn’t a crime, and neither was crossing your path. Maybe it wasn’t a coincidence most of the time, but it’s not as if he was harming you by watching you. He doubted you noticed anyway.

Seeing you nearly everyday had been enough to keep him sated, but then Sejanus started talking about you. Through no fault of his own, Coriolanus learned things about you. What he came to know made him curious to discover more. Even if you did not seem keen to let him.

Being content with what he had didn’t keep its appeal for long. Not when you were right there, your presence taunting him. Making him want what you would not let him have.

“You just need to talk to her, Coryo,” Tigris told him one evening, when he revealed everything to her. “Not in class and not with Sejanus. Just you. Let her know the real you and I promise she’ll like what she sees.”

Coriolanus took his cousin’s advice to heart. She was much more empathetic than him, she had to be onto something, right?

Everything changed when Coriolanus sat across from you at a study table in the library.

As beautiful as you were from a distance, being up close was something else entirely. He could admire you for hours and never get tired.

You looked up at him, he smiled and said hello just like Tigris advised. The smile you returned seemed forced, and you ignored that he had spoken.

It upset him, but not as much as when you got up and walked out. It was the last straw. Coriolanus was following you into the hall before he could think better of it.

He caught up to you, dropping his hand to your shoulder to make you turn around and face him. When you did, you looked surprised. That wasn’t what made Coriolanus hesitate, but the realization that he had never been this close to you before. Not even sitting across from you compared to touching you.

His heart skipped a beat.

“What do you want?” you questioned, a level of annoyance he thought to be unearned in your voice.

His heart started again.

“Have I done something to you?” Coriolanus confronted you, feeling a familiar sense of agitation creep over him. He had to know. “To make you feel such distaste for me?”

“I don’t dislike you, Coriolanus,” you replied, calmly after recovering from your initial shock. “I’m just… indifferent to you.”

The answer confused him more than it did enrage him. He smothered the latter feeling as he observed you.

“You’re… indifferent,” he stated, not asking. His feet shifted beneath him. It hurt, for some reason. “Why?”

Your eyes narrowed ever so slightly, studying him. It was the same way you’d look at your books when you were struggling with a subject, lingering behind in class or the library until a triumphant smile crossed your face.

Only, that smile never came. Your expression just faded back to normal.

“You shouldn’t put so much weight on what other people think of you,” you advised, stepping closer to him. His breath caught in his chest. You smelled sweet, like flowers. “Especially not someone you don’t even know.”

It was then, he realized, you hadn’t moved closer to him with purpose. You’d been on your way moving past him. His eyes focused on your back as you walked away, figuring out what to say.

“I’d like to know you,” he announced earnestly, verbally trying to pull you back. “If you’d only give me a chance.”

You slowed to a stop, looking over your shoulder. Coriolanus felt as if he was on display as your eyes raked over him, determining for yourself his sincerity.

“You’re friends with Sejanus, aren’t you?” you wondered. It wasn’t what he expected, but Coriolanus nodded. You sighed, which irked him to think it was pity. “If you’d like to join us for lunch I wouldn’t be against that.”

“I’ll see you then,” he said, but you were already turning away. He kept to himself that he had already tried in the past.

His friend was nice. Too nice for his own good, truthfully. It wasn’t as if Sejanus completely abandoned him the moment he befriended you. It was more like he split his time, attending to both friendships. The only thing Coriolanus held against him was that he never tried to reintroduce the two of you. Maybe even put in a good word.

At lunch Coriolanus found you and Sejanus quickly, he knew where you liked to sit.

“Hey, Coryo,” Sejanus greeted, smiling. “About time you decided to join us.”

Coriolanus put on a smile as he sat down. “Well, I would’ve sooner, but I wasn’t sure I was welcome before.”

The comment made you smirk, in on the joke as Coriolanus looked at you.

“Who’s to say you are now?” you sarcastically replied, as if you hadn’t been the one to invite him.

Well, “invite” was being generous, but he still seized the opportunity nonetheless.

“Ignore her, she can’t help herself,” Sejanus said with a chuckle, used to your humor.

This time, when he tried to talk to you, you engaged. In between discussions of classes and assignments, Coriolanus had to dodge your quick wit.

He liked the challenge, and the next day, he went back for more. Even walked right past Clemanisa and Arachne, who tried to invite him to their table with Festus. You were waiting for him.

He noticed you and Sejanus already talking.

When he sat across from you, you raised your brows. “Seeking refuge?”

Before he could ask what you meant, you nodded your head towards the girls he’d left behind.

You knew about his friends?

“You could call it that,” he replied, a smile starting to appear.

You nodded and hummed.

“Well, what are your qualifications?”

“Excuse me?”

“You joke too much, Y/N,” Sejanus lightly scolded you, interrupting whatever path you were going down, which made you laugh. “He’s going to think you don’t like him.”

“He knows I don’t mean anything by it,” you assured, looking at Coriolanus. “I’m just trying to figure him out.”

Your tone was filled with confidence, but your face… Coriolanus wasn’t sure how to place your underlying expression. You had a shield up, he knew that much, but what did that have to do with him? Were you trying to figure out if you could let it down for him? Or something else?

“Of course,” Coriolanus answered, not taking his eyes off of you. “I’m an open book.”

“Are you, now?” You folded your arms on the table. “Your friends love to gossip, and I don’t think I’ve heard that about you.”

“It’s not my fault if they don’t know how to read,” Coriolanus quipped, proud of himself for being so quick.

None of his friends had wronged him, but the joke at their expense was worth it for what followed after.

He made you laugh. Not just smile, but truly laugh. It was exactly what he wanted, and it actually worked. Awe didn't begin to describe how it felt.

Joining your table for lunch became the best part of his day. Sometimes he forgot Sejanus was even there, far too eager to see you. He saw you all the time, of course. Watching you was a habit he had yet to break, but this was different. You were aware of his presence, and he was able to speak to you. It didn’t matter that you still seemed weary, it was enough.

Even if you didn’t like him, you still had conversations with him, so that was something.

Sometimes, if you were deep in a discussion, debating ethics—your favorite topic—it would continue beyond just the table. He’d walk you to class, wanting to hear your voice just a second longer.

“I want to meet this girl,” His grandmother declared one night, after Coriolanus drifted to the topic of you over dinner. He’d been doing it more recently.

Tigris gave him a look, a light frown. There was no way to do that without you coming to his home, and he wasn’t going to let that happen.

“Let Coryo decide that, Grandma‘am,” Tigris insisted, patting the older woman’s shoulder.

“Well, he has feelings for Y/N,” she argued, looking at Coriolanus. He used your name enough that she remembered it. “And she likes him too—doesn’t she?”

Coriolanus gave a tight smile. “Yes, she does.”

Keeping up appearances.

“Well, that settles it, then,” Grandma‘am decided.

“I think it’s time you get to bed,” Tigris intervened, getting their grandmother up from her chair.

Later, when they were alone, Tigris asked him, “Does she even know how you feel about her?” She knew him too well. He took too long to answer. “You should tell her. From what you’ve told us, you two should be together. But it won’t happen unless you make it known how you feel.”

Coriolanus’s dreams were filled with you, as they usually were, but something was different the morning he woke up after the conversation with Tigris.

All he had to do was prove himself to you, and he knew that now.

Coriolanus found you in the library a lot, often pretending to stumble upon you. This time, he didn’t put on a facade.

“I thought I’d find you here,” he acknowledged, sitting down beside you. Often he’d sit across, but he was testing the waters. Seeing if you were put off by the proximity. “Studying for Featherly’s class?”

“I’m terrified for his test,” you confided, rubbing your temples as you hunched down at your book. “I feel like my mind has no room for anything else. I’ve memorized nothing.”

With a sigh, you sat up and pushed the book away.

“I can help you,” Coriolanus insisted, reaching for the book. He read over the page you were on, knowing he’d already perfected the subject. “You should’ve asked for me sooner.”

Maybe it was a little spiteful, but he hadn’t purposely meant it to come out that way. You still noticed it, taking your book back.

“I’m not asking for your help now, Coriolanus,” you muttered, looking at him out of the corner of your eye.

You were the last of his friends to still call him that. Most everyone else called him ‘Coryo’. Not you. But you were stubborn in many ways. This too, apparently.

“I didn’t mean anything against you,” he said lightly, even chuckling a little. It was forced, but he wanted to show he wasn’t being that serious.

Using your own words on you did not have the desired effect.

“Mmmhmmm,” you hummed.

Coriolanus tilted his head down, trying to get you to meet his gaze. You gave in, facing him, looking unamused.

He wanted to wipe that look away, but didn’t know how. If he could just make you like him—

Suddenly, your watch began to beep.

“Test time,” you grumbled, taking back your book and getting up.

Coriolanus followed you down the hall and into class. The tests were already on the desks, waiting. You two were early—he noticed that because of the clock on the wall.

He walked you to your seat and wished you good luck. To his surprise, you offered the same in return. Then, he went to his own. Other students filed in quickly after, professor Featherly being the last to enter the room.

The professor declared, “Begin,” then sat at his desk in the middle of the room and began to read.

The test wasn’t easy, but Coriolanus knew what he was doing. One look around the classroom and he saw that wasn’t the case for most other students. He felt a sense of pride, until his gaze landed on you. You were one row down and four seats to the left. He’d counted before. You were fiddling with your pencil, struggling to come up with what to write down.

While he could’ve been the first to finish, Coriolanus let other students turn their tests in before him. An hour passed by, but it moved quickly.

There were only a few students left when you finally got up. You radiated an anxious energy, much like the others, but Coriolanus didn’t care about the others.

Clemensia stuck her hand up in the air, waiting for the professor to notice her, distracting Coriolanus briefly. When the professor looked up and noticed her, Clemansia got her wish.

Coriolanus considered himself lucky, convincing himself with his own mantra frequently. As he watched you leave your test on Featherly’s desk and rush from the room, he realized how he could help you.

He quickly marked down the rest of his answers, having stalled so he could leave when you did. The professor was making his way away from the desk, while Coriolanus got up and went in the opposite direction.

With a swift, hard kick to the leg, the professor's desk wobbled and papers spilled off on the other side. It looked like an accident.

Featherly looked over his shoulder at the noise.

“Sorry,” Coriolanus apologized, kneeling down behind the desk to collect the papers.

Without anyone watching, he found your test. He had no time to change the written questions, but he made quick work of erasing and re-doing the multiple choice, with his own test and knowledge as reference.

He had to give you credit for getting a decent amount correct, but not enough for a passing grade.

When Coriolanus fixed that, he stacked together the papers and placed them back on the desk and exited.

Everyone was waiting in the hall. Against tradition, the professor graded tests directly after and would call students in to give the results. It was time consuming, and kept everyone on campus after hours, which was against the rules, but perhaps he’d gotten some kind of exception.

You were leaning against the wall opposite of the classroom, talking to some girl from the class—Coriolanus didn’t bother to learn her name. He wanted to go to you, but Sejanus got to him first instead.

“How do you think you did?”

Coriolanus shrugged, looking down at his friend. “Fine, I think.” That was the humble answer, right? “How about you?”

“Not perfect, but I passed.”

Clemensia trotted out then, a confident look on her face.

“What was so important you had to ask during the test?” Coriolanus couldn’t help but wonder. She’d unknowingly helped him, after all.

“Just clarity on a question, wanted to make sure I got it right,” she answered with ease.

“And did you?”

She gave Sejanus a look.

“Yes, of course.”

The last person exited the class, and professor Featherly closed the door. And so the grading began.

One by one, the professor called people in. There was no method to the order, it seemed likely he shuffled the papers or chose which one to grade next at random.

Time passed, Coriolanus didn’t know how much exactly, but it was beginning to get dark outside. Tigris would be worried until he got home, but she’d understand. His studies came first.

Eventually, Coriolanus realized it was dwindling down to be just you and him left. He was lucky today.

The third to last student was in the classroom, leaving you across the hall from one another.

You pressed your lips together before speaking.

“Do you think you did alright?”

The corner of Coriolanus’s lip twitched up at the sound of your voice.

“Yes, I think so,” he answered humbly. “What about you?”

You let out a self deprecating laugh. “When I said I was terrified, I wasn’t being dramatic.” You sighed, accepting your fate. “I’ll have to do perfect on the next one, I guess.”

“I can help you with that,” Coriolanus offered.

The smile he gave you spawned a mirror reaction. He knew he was charming, he had to be, and this time you actually seemed receptive to it.

“Maybe you can.”

The sound of a door opening made Coriolanus turn. Arachne was leaving, a smug look on her face as she thanked the professor.

Then the door closed, and the professor graded another test. There were only two left.

“I wish he wouldn’t do it like this,” you filled the silence. “The others don’t make us wait like this.”

“It builds suspense, I suppose,” Coriolanus mused. “Keeps us on our toes.”

“That’s not something I need right now.”

“At least you have good company,” he noted flirtatiously. He couldn’t help but grin at his own words, especially when you bite your lip to keep yourself from smiling.

“Could be worse, I supposed,” you retorted.

More time passed. The door opened again.

“Coriolanus Snow,” the professor addressed him next. “Your turn.”

As expected, Coriolanus did close to perfect. One answer off. Best in the class.

Back in the hallway, when he was done, Coriolanus waited with you. He didn’t announce he was staying, he just returned to his spot against the wall.

“Don’t keep a girl waiting. How did you do?” you asked, departing from the wall.

Coriolanus wondered where you were going, but then, you stood next to him, leaning back against the wall. There was still an arms length between the two of you, but it was something. You’d gone to him for once.

“You’ll think I’m full of myself if I tell you,” he teased lightly, which made you roll your eyes.

“Maybe I already think that, so just tell me,” you insisted.

The comment made him falter.

“Best in the class,” he divulged.

You almost looked impressed. “Good for you.”

The door opened.

“Y/N L/N, you’re up.”

“Wish me luck,” you said under your breath before following Featherly in.

“Good luck.”

Coriolanus waited for you, just like before. He tapped his foot. The professor didn’t actually go over the answers, he just told you the grade. You’d have no way of knowing what he did for you, but he’d be there to share in your excitement when you discovered how well you’d done.

Or, how well he’d done for you.

Not long later, you and the professor exited the class together.

“Wasn’t expecting you to still be here,” Featherly addressed Coriolanus. “You should get going. I’ll see you in class tomorrow.”

Then, he left you and Coriolanus alone in the hall, presumably leaving the building.

“So,” Coriolanus began with a smile. “How did you do?”

“He asked if I’d been studying with you. Apparently we had all the same answers,” you told him, crossing your arms. “Except when I asked him to show me my exam—which I did great on, apparently—I saw answers circled that weren’t mine.”

Coriolanus hadn’t expected you to find out so quickly, but a part of him was relieved you did. It meant he got to take credit, and he could show you that he really did want the best for you.

Or, he could always lie.

“You weren scared of failing,” he finally admitted. He offered a sympathetic smile. “So I helped.”

“No, you cheated!” you accused, causing his eyes to go wide. “You’ve implicated us both. If anyone finds out…”

“Don’t be so loud,” he hissed out in a whisper, stepping closer to you. The professor could still be in the building. He doubted anyone else would be. “I just wanted to help you, okay? You needed it, so I—“

“You helped, I get it. But I didn’t ask you to do that for me, Coriolanus. I have never asked you to do anything for me,” you sneered, somewhere between offended and betrayed.

He saw the way you scanned his face—his eyes. The pleading was beginning to seep through.

A wave of realization washed over you before he even opened his mouth.

“You didn’t have to ask me to,” Coriolanus said meaningfully, stepping closer to you. “I wanted to. I wanted to help you.”

You back hit the wall. The hallway was so empty it seemed as if the subtle sound still echoed.

“I’d do anything for you, don’t you get that?”

The sound of a large door closing carried from a distance.

Coriolanus reached for your face, wishing he could take away the concern that riddled your expression. Instead, he brushed a stray piece of hair from your face.

You swallowed. Why did you look so nervous around him? You were friends now, weren’t you? You never looked scared around anyone else. Why him? Why now? His own questions frustrated him.

“We’re not supposed to be on campus after hours,” you said calmly. It was the same tone you used when you first described your indifference to him. Coriolanus thought about that moment a lot. “Featherly already left. We should leave before we get caught.”

The corners of his lips twitched down.

“We’re still talking, though, aren’t we?”

You let out a shallow breath. You had no reason to look as scared as you did.

“I think we’re done.”

Coriolanus thought back to his cousin’s advice. He could’ve followed it better if she’d written it down, perchance.

“You’re so beautiful, you know that?” Coriolanus pondered, smiling to himself at the sight of you. “You caught my eye from the beginning and I—I couldn’t figure out why you wanted nothing to do with me.” You watched him carefully. He wondered if you could sense the dejectedness brewing. “Did you see something in me? Is that it?”

“I don’t know,” you admitted under your breath. “People like you, and you’ve been making an effort to be my friend, so I don’t know what told me to stay away from you, but something did. I’ve tried to ignore it, but I still…” you swallowed. “I don’t know.”

The confession should’ve been a relief. That’s what he imagined it would be. That you would admit the truth, and he could fix whatever misconceptions you had.

Coriolanus did not know what to do with “I don’t know”.

Staring down at you, Coriolanus noticed your back was against the wall. Literally. He hadn’t meant to put you there, but he had.

It got you to listen, didn’t it? He’d gotten an answer?

“Can we start over?” Coriolanus suggested, even throwing in a smile that would charm most anyone. It worked on you before. “We can forget all this mess.”

You blinked. You didn’t believe him.

For most people, he wouldn’t simply let numerous slights go, but for you, if it would fix whatever this was, if it meant the two of you could have a real chance, then he’d overcome his instincts—old and new.

“I’m afraid my memory is too good for that,” you finally said, looking up at him with defiance.

Defying what, was the question. It wasn’t as if you were enemies.

The thought made his jaw clench. He let out a laugh that was sharp. It lacked any sense of humor.

“Why can’t you just accept my apology?”

Your brows arched up, questioning him.

“That was supposed to be an apology?”

“Yes,” he confirmed. “But it’s not as if I owe you one.”

“I never said you did. I never said anything. You took it upon yourself to insert yourself into my life and now you are not happy with your place in it. You’ve overstepped, and you need to let me leave.”

Coriolanus frowned.

“You act like I’m keeping you here by force.”

You look up at him, silently telling him you believed he was.

That frustrated him further.

In an act that jarred even him, Coriolanus pressed his palms against your shoulders and pushed you back against the wall when you tried to move away.

“This is force,” he declared sternly, leaning down, making you maintain his gaze.

Everyone liked control, but he hadn’t used it in such a physical way before. It thrilled him in an odd way.

“Get your hands off me.”

“Why should I? You already think so poorly of me, why not let you be right?”

You moved again then, trying to catch him off guard and squirm away. But Coriolanus was quick to shove you back against the wall.

“We can still start over. If you would give me a chance, I think we can be good together.”

He let one hand rise to rest on your cheek. Your skin was so smooth. He inhaled deeply, resolve slipping further as his eyes fell to your lips.

If Coriolanus could just prove it to you, he was sure you’d understand what he meant.

He leaned in cautiously, gauging your reaction. You didn’t flinch away. You tilted your chin up, even. That familiar skip of his heart returned.

Coriolanus’s lips only just brushed against yours before you reacted. He had a second of relief before you brought your knee up, jabbing him in the lower stomach, although he doubted that was where you were aiming. It was still enough of a shock to throw him off his game. He stumbled back, and in a flash, you were gone. You were running down the hall—trying to get away from him, like usual.

Only this time, he didn’t feel like letting you go.

Something he had slowly come to learn was when he wanted something, it wasn’t just going to be handed to him. Vying for the Plinth Prize highlighted that, alongside his childhood.

He caught you easily, hand snapping out like a snake to grip your arm and yank you back to him. You collided with his chest. It was like you weren’t even trying. Not really. Just toying with him.

“Am I a game to you?” Coriolanus hissed into your ear, wrapping you in his arms. “Something for you to play?”

“I haven’t done anything to you! I hardly even know you!” you defended, but it just made him hold you tighter.

“I know you,” he implored, fighting against your squirming. He lost balance and when you fell to the ground, you took him with you. Coriolanus got you onto your back, sitting on your thighs, gripping your wrists in his hands to keep you from swinging at him. You let out panicked breaths, staring up at him. “I know more than you think.”

Something about the position made the front of his pants begin to feel constricting.

“Coriolanus, you’re frightening me,” you enunciated, as if trying to reason with him.

“I’m not being unreasonable,” Coriolanus grit out, working to maintain his composure.

“What?” you questioned, brows pinching together, a deep frown on your face. Confused and scared. Coriolanus used to feel that way. “Just let me go.”

“And then what? You go back to ignoring me? No I can’t… I can’t go back to that. If you just give me a chance I can show you.”

Coriolanus didn’t know what happened next.

Tigris told him it was like he left his own head, sometimes. She said he’d get so caught up, he wouldn’t notice things. At the time he had laughed. If anyone stayed aware, it was him.

It wasn’t that he left his head, but got lost in it. Lost in his own inner monologue to realize what he was doing.

In this case, what he’d done.

Far too busy thinking of ways to convey everything he wanted to say to you, how to make you understand, visualizing your reaction, he’d already acted.

Maybe there were two people living in his mind. One with a conscience, one without. Or perhaps that was just something he used to justify his less than decent actions. An excuse. He’d never let himself know the truth. Not really. Not yet.

What he did know was what he could see. You, beneath him, clothes torn from your body. The only thing left was a shirt. Too much effort, apparently. Your wrists were snatched together in one of his hands.

The power stirred something within him.

One might say he was out of excuses when he reached for the zipper of his pants, but no one else was here, were they?

Your mouth was moving. Speaking. Maybe even yelling. Looking at him, looking around the room. He couldn’t hear a sound but his own heart thumping in his ears paired with his own eager breaths. Was that normal?

He moved, wedging himself between your legs, nudging them apart to make room for himself.

“It’s just us,” Coriolanus spoke, loud enough to hear himself. You flinched. “No one’s here.”

He gripped himself, stroking his cock, lining himself up with your entrance. His patience was running incredibly thin.

Tears pricked in your eyes. You stopped struggling at his words, accepting it for what it was. Good.

“Why are you doing this?”

He heard your voice clearly, that time, despite the strain in your tone.

Coriolanus observed you carefully, squeezing your wrists together in one hand and lovingly caressing your hip with the other.

He finally understood the answer you’d given before. He found it fitting now.

“I don’t know.”

To him, it was the truth.

The moment Coriolanus pressed himself inside of you, it was as if the rest of the world disappeared. After so long of wanting you in every way, shape, or form, this was long overdue.

“You’re perfect for me,” he breathed out. Coriolanus gave a shove of his hips, his gaze falling to your mouth as an unwilling yelp slipped out. “I knew you would be.”

You were tight, too tight, even. Unwelcoming. Yet still, you felt like home.

His hand—the one that was on your hip—drifted between your legs. He found your clit, running his thumb in small circles, trying to ease the pressure you must’ve been feeling.

Coriolanus did not want to hurt you.

He looked into unfocused eyes. Where were you? Were you trying to be somewhere else?

He let your hands go. You didn’t move to slap him or shove him or anything. You were learning.

He leaned over you more, reaching for you face with his now free hand, and ran his thumb over your cheek, encouraging your gaze to actually meet his. He smiled softly when you did. You got more beautiful every second he looked at you. It was even better when he could see you were present.

Coriolanus found himself unable to resist it, so he gave into the urge to press his lips to yours. A real kiss, this time.

Your lips were softer than he’d imagined. You made a noise when his tongue tasted your mouth. His kiss was hungry—aggressive, even. But he’d waited so long he didn’t know how to contain himself.

Your body reacted to his touch. Your bent knees inched up his hips to accommodate him, and your walls were becoming slick, accepting the invasion.

A deep moan escaped him, cock throbbing inside you at the feel. The sound was muffled by his lips pressed to yours, but he still felt vulnerable, giving himself to you in this way.

Coriolanus pulled back from the kiss, only to rest his forehead against yours and breathe out a small puff of air from his lips.

“I’ve never wanted anything as much as I want you. Not even the Plinth Prize,” he confessed in a whisper.

“What’s the difference?” You finally spoke, voice wavering. “You have to earn the prize?” The accusing tone felt like a slap.

“You don’t know what you’re saying,” Coriolanus muttered, eyes boring into yours. “You’ll see.”

He gave you one more searing kiss before moving his hips.

A gasp that morphed into a moan clawed its way up your throat. The sound was like music to his ears. He wanted to hear it again.

He began to move more consistently, finding a pace that suited him. Rough enough to keep you present, but not so harsh as to hurt you. He wanted you to enjoy yourself, even if you were trying to avoid it.

Still figuring you out, Coriolanus found your sweet spot with a hard thrust, causing you to wince. Instinctively, you tried to push him away, just like you had before, not wanting to surrender.

You stilled when you felt his hand. He hardly realized how he’d reacted until he felt your throat bob beneath his palm.

Coriolanus retracted his hand, like your skin and shot a volt through him. His movements slowed to a stop.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized earnestly, brushing the hand through your hair gently. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

Your chest heaved as you breathed shaky breaths through your nose. Your lips pressed together in a line.

You weren’t going to dignify him with a response. In a way, he understood.

Coriolanus locked his arms under your body and in a surge of strength, pulled you from the ground and into his lap. He hugged you against him, nuzzling his face into your neck.

“Forgive me,” he requested softly.

You shifted in his lap, adjusting yourself to find comfort in the new position. You did not speak.

He slammed his hips up, forcing a gasp from your lips. That was something, wasn’t it?

You pulled back, and he did it again. And again. And again.

You fell against him, jarred by the change in his movements as he thrust into you. He liked it, feeling you in his lap, your chest against his, leaving you no choice but to hold onto him.

His lips latched onto the skin of your neck as he moved, barring his teeth and nipping the skin. You reacted as if he were venomous, straining away from him, but he’d left his mark.

You could pretend all you wanted that you didn’t like him, but Coriolanus could feel your body reacting to his. He could feel the way your walls squeezed around him, drawing him in, and how your body quivered as he pushed you closer to your edge.

“Just let go,” Coriolanus whispered, holding you tighter. He cradled the back of your head against him as he moved inside of you. Soothing and rough at the same time. “It’s okay, I know you want to.”

“Shut up,” you hissed into his neck, hands finding his chest.

Were you really going to try and get away from him? It was a bit late for that.

Coriolanus moved his hand between your bodies, finding your clit with the pad of his thumb, speeding along the process.

“What was that?” he taunted, feeling your legs start to shake.

A moan tore from your throat as you came around him, body slumping against his as he shoved himself deeper inside you. He wanted to feel your body tensed around him.

“That’s it,” he drawled, pressing his face to the side of your head. He inhaled, letting your scent flood him. Every sense was overwhelmed by you and if anything, it made him hunger for even more.

You became more pliable in your daze, going easily when Coriolanus laid you back down on the cold ground. He planted one hand on the ground near your head, where he held most of his weight, while the other rested on the base of your neck. Not squeezing, just resting. Reminding you of before.

Now that he’d taken care of you, made you realize the pleasure he could inflict upon you, it was his turn. Coriolanus was relentless with the thrust of his cock inside you, stretching you around him, groaning with nearly every movement. You felt so good, he never wanted to leave the warmth of your body.

You shifted beneath him, squirming as the intense feeling. Coriolanus was tempted to drag it out, to watch your face as the pleasure became too much for you to handle.

If it wasn’t for the desire to fill you, to claim you, he would’ve. There would be more times after this, he’d ensure it. He didn’t own a lot, but he treasured the things that he did.

“I can’t let you go, not now.” He meant to keep it inside his head, but the words spilled out. “You’re the only thing I want.”

At that moment, it was true.

Coriolanus gave one final shove of his hips before spilling inside of you. It crashed over him in an unexpected wave. His whole body shivered with pleasure at the feel of your body milking him. You wanted him. Your denial would eventually fade. He was sure of it.

Coriolanus let out a heavy sigh of your name as he watched your face. You’d turned your head, wincing as he filled you to the brim.

“Hey,” Coriolanus said when he finished, voice low. He ran a delicate hand over your face, persuading you to open your eyes. “We’re okay.”

As much as he didn’t want to, Coriolanus withdrew from you. You’d given up fighting against him, so he took the opportunity to help you redress. You were so pliant, it was like dressing a doll.

You rested your arms on your knees when he made you sit up. He wasn’t keeping you from moving from the floor, you chose not to.

Coriolanus watched you cautiously, searching for the same fire in you before, trying to figure out if he’d somehow snuffed it out.

There was a nagging in his gut. It was only for a brief second, but his confidence wavered.

“Can you talk to me?” he pressed, laying a hand on your shoulder and he knelt across from you, pants readjusted.

It was as if nothing happened, but you both knew that was untrue.

“Why should I?” You wrinkled your nose as you focused on the ground.

“Because, I care about you,” Coriolanus replied without thought, gaze softening. “I want to make sure you’re okay.”

“I don’t think you care for me,” you said in a tone so hushed, Coriolanus wasn’t sure if you even meant for him to hear. Then, you met his eyes. The fire had only been dulled, not put out. “I think you’re a liar, Coriolanus Snow.”

His hands fell to clasp yours. He brought one to his lips, pressing a small kiss to the back of your palm. You eyed him as if he were some sort of predator, but he managed a smile nonetheless.

“Let me prove it to you, and you’ll come to learn you’ve been wrong about me all along.”

#coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus x you #coriolanus x reader #coriolanus snow #dark!coriolanus snow #yandere coriolanus snow #the hunger games #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #tom blyth #quin-ns writing

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6esiree · 4 months

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More Than Just A Sugar Baby Pt. 2

Summary: Imagine you’re Vox’s and Adam’s sugar baby and one of you start’s to develop feelings?

Warnings: NSFW, AFAB reader, penetration, rubbing, swearing, if you squint there’s a bit of angst in Adam’s part. Heaven bucks are void in Hell so he just protects you from the loan sharks. Sorry, I’m a sinner thru and thru. Anyway, MDNI!!!

Vox:

A doll like you didn’t belong in the porn industry—that’s what Vox told you when you asked for Valentino. But he only offered you financial salvation to get back at the moth, tired of his on and off relationship with him. How could you not accept, though, especially when porn had been your last resort? When you took Vox’s hand, he never anticipated that your arrangement would turn into something more than a simple act of revenge, but that was entirely his fault.

“Always such a good girl for me—fuck, fuck, fuck.”

Vox had your legs folded against your chest, your eyes squeezed shut as he pounded into you at a ruthless pace, the room filled with the filthy sound of your squelching cunt. You let out a loud whine as his fingers found your swollen clit, trying to coax another orgasm out of you. One, two, three, four—you counted in your head, milking his cock for what might have been the fifth time that night, the man clearly pent up.

“Such a greedy little—” Vox said, his screen buffering, “—cunt.”

He was so, so close, his thrusts growing sloppier with every second. You reached out and grabbed Vox’s shoulders, bringing him in for a kiss, but then Valentino’s contact popped up on his screen. “Shit, Val’s calling…again,” You groaned, falling back onto the mattress in defeat. The moth had called Vox about, what, several times already? It was really starting to turn you off.

“Decline it, I’m—fuck!—about to finish,” Vox said, sighing in relief as you swiped your finger across his screen. “That’s better—don’t want to cum to that fucker’s contact.”

You understood his reaction, made aware of the pair’s history when Vox eventually opened up to you. But as far as you knew, whatever love they had for each other was dead. Well, at least on Vox’s end, because Valentino was still pestering him. “Yeah, I bet,” You said before interrupting yourself with a moan, the head of his cock hitting into that velvety spot inside of you.

“Val found out about you,” Vox suddenly said, catching you off guard. “He pissed me off, so I told him that I didn’t need him anymore because I had you.”

You blinked, clearly confused. Why would Valentino care if Vox had a sugar baby? Relationships like that were purely transactional, a mutual agreement with no feelings involved. Unless Vox was suggesting that he told him that you two were a thing—no, that couldn’t be. You were a nobody compared to the man on top of you, so why would Valentino care?

“I don’t get it,” You started, your brows knitted together. “Why would Val care about me when I’m just…you know, nothing serious?”

Throughout the whole time, Vox never let up on fucking you, but he did slow down his pace and abandon your clit with your question. A funny feeling stirred in your chest as he peered down at you with an unreadable expression, seemingly debating his response. But then Vox released your legs, your throat bobbing in anticipation as he grabbed ahold of your jaw, making you look at him.

“Come on, sweetheart, you seriously can’t be that dull,” Vox said, your cheeks flushing in embarrassment.

“I just didn’t want to assume, that’s all,” You stammered, looking everywhere but at him. “So, uh, are you going to want me to pretend as if we’re a thing from now on?”

“Pretend?” Vox grunted, burying his cock deep inside of your cunt as he leaned into you. “Wouldn’t it be better if it were real?”

The man was a powerful and influential overlord, so you would be set for eternity, but you also came to know him more intimately as the time passed by. He treated you pretty great with your arrangement, so surely he’d be better as a partner, right? “I—yes?” You said, your eyes fluttering shut when he rolled his hips, feeling rewarded for your response. “That’s my girl,” Vox said, his cock pulsating inside of your cunt.

“Your girl,” You repeated, unable to believe the turn of events, but you weren’t complaining.

Vox hummed, leaning down to give you that kiss you had tried to give him earlier, his hand relaxing against your jaw. “How about we take a shower after this, hm?” He spoke against your lips, his eyes flitting down to see your cunt swallowing his cock, your juices dripping down your thigh. “You won’t electrocute me?” You joked. It was funny until Vox pulled out of you and dragged you off the bed by your ankles, telling you “Why don’t we find out, sweetheart?” as he picked you up and took you to the bathroom.

Adam:

For an Angel, you found Adam to be pretty selfish and egotistical, saving you from the loan sharks pursuing you during the extermination in exchange for the ‘privilege of getting fucked by the first man alive.’ You only agreed because you needed an easy way out of your situation. When you nodded your head, he shoved his tongue down your throat, one hand on your breast while the other slithered past the waistband of your panties, whatever happened afterwards lost within a random sinner’s apartment.

“Fuck, babe. I just got here and you’re already so wet.”

Your face was pushed into your pillow, Adam’s chest slack against your back while he entered you from behind, your cunt eagerly swallowing every inch of his cock. He groaned into your shoulder, the edge of his mask digging into your skin, but the way he slowly massaged your clit as he bottomed out compensated for the slight discomfort it caused you.

Adam wasn’t usually this…attentive, his movements quick and sloppy as he tried to make the most out of your little meetings. But tonight, he was being gentle with you, seemingly focused on your pleasure by the way he slowly started to thrust into you, his other hand toying with your nipple. Your cunt fluttered around him, overwhelmed by all the different sensations.

“You like that?” Adam rasped into your ear, goosebumps littering your skin at the sound of his voice. “What about this, huh?” He continued, rolling the hardened bud in between his fingers.

You tried to answer him, you really did, but you were only able to muster a moan as he pulled out of you completely, the head of his cock pushing past your slick folds and back into your hole with a slow, hard thrust. “Shit, well, I guess that’s good enough,” Adam chuckled, your face flushing in embarrassment. “Shut up,” You said, but then he squeezed your nipple, making you yelp.

“Don’t tell me to shut up, bitch,” Adam grunted, lifting himself from your back, a whine escaping your throat as his hands moved to your hips.

“Call me a bitch one more time and the deal is over,” You said, glaring at him from over your shoulder, but you didn’t actually mean it.

“I don’t think that’s in your best interest, babe,” Adam said, picking up the pace and finally fucking you properly. “I’m the one who’s keeping you alive with every extermination—isn’t that just fucking ironic?”

The sound of skin slapping against skin enveloped your room, including your cries and his groans of pleasure. You constantly thanked Charlie for making the walls thick, Adam driven by the fact that he was doing something so…forbidden. But that wasn’t the only thing—he had developed a soft spot for you, feeling a distant ache in his chest whenever he heard the clock tower ring, his cue to leave.

“I can—ah, fuck, right there!—take care of myself just fine,” You said, his thrusts growing more unforgiving. “Sinners can’t truly kill each other anyway.”

“Yeah, but you can still feel pain, y’know,” Adam said, pulling out of you completely, leaving your cunt clenching around nothing.

Before you could think about asking him why he had stopped, Adam flipped you onto your back, your eyes widening as you stared back into his face, his mask nowhere to be seen. He rarely ever took it off, so of course you were surprised. “Come on, baby, I can take better care of you,” Adam said, the head of his cock brushing against your clit as he leaned in to kiss you—now that was a first, but you accepted it anyway.

Your eyes fluttered shut as his lips glided against yours, the stubble on his chin scratching at your skin, but you couldn’t care less. You wrapped your arms around him, pulling your bodies together by grabbing onto where his wings connected to his back, swallowing the yelp that escaped his throat. Apparently, they were sensitive, because he suddenly plunged his cock back into you.

“Adam! Fuck, slow down!” You cried out, your grip on his wings tightening.

“You’re so lucky I can’t impregnate you,” Adam panted, putting his forehead against yours. “Fuck, why do you have to be a stupid fucking sinner?” He added, sounding disappointed. “You don’t belong here—you should be up in Heaven, with me.”

“You don’t—what?�� You said, slightly taken aback. You thought Adam had told you that he could take better care of you just to continue your arrangement, but no, there was more to it. “You don’t actually mean that, Adam.”

“Is it really hard to believe that someone like me wants more than just a simple fuck?” Adam said, sounding pained, but he still reached down to massage your clit to help you finish alongside him. “I guess that’s my fault, huh?”

“I’m sorry,” You said, and you would have offered him more words if your orgasm hadn’t hit you. “Fuck—‘m so sorry.”

Adam thrusted into you one last time, his hips stilling as he emptied himself deep inside of your fluttering cunt with a heavy sigh, his fingers withdrawing from you. “Don’t be, babe,” he said before capturing your lips with another kiss. As much as you enjoyed it, you couldn’t help but wonder where you stood with Adam—until he told you that he’d figure out a way to see you more often, and not just for sex.

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zzencat · 4 months

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Why Do I Still Feel Unsatisfied? - Timeless Reading (for anyone)

When things are content and slow, going normally as one would expect, you still feel like there’s something not quite right—something missing. Now what? Are you supposed to be happy? You have everything you need…what is there to complain about? Why is life so stale? So boring? Am I doing enough in my life? What is this stagnant energy?

Note: Social media may have an influence on these feelings.

- Remember: clear your mind. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, fill up your chest to the fullest, feel the air brush against the ridges of your nose. Breathe out. Choose the photo that you can’t take your eyes off of.

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Pile 1. To Speed Up or To Slow Down.

You might be in denial. You try to think that you’re okay and you’re doing well enough—you have everything you need to survive, so what’s the matter with you? What’s the hold up? Are you going out on the weekends to the same places? Maybe repeating the same old routine, with or without friends? Perhaps you’re staying home and indulging in the same habits every weekend. Why are you just lounging around in the kitchen or living room with an oversized shirt and running your hands through your hair, wondering what to do now that you have time? It’s getting boring and you need some spice to your life.

Try looking into a hobby that you had interest in during childhood. Maybe you were shunned for having a such an interest. Do you do a lot of online shopping? Have you ever wanted to start your own business or clothing line? Honestly, to me it feels like you’re financially stable or on your way there and you know you will be. But it feels passionless. Maybe you had passion in the beginning and it died out. The excitement wasn’t there anymore, or maybe you had to be in this profession because you had to. To impress parents, guardians, the people around you. I feel like this group could do well with a side hustle or multiple. You seem like well-adaptable people so you could deal with the uncertainty and unpredictability. You also seem very friendly, like a team player type of person. You do what your told, and have small moments where you count as “rebellious.” Perfectionistic. My mind keeps going back to this…maybe you want to open up your own online shop? Or clothing/beauty brand or business? You might struggle when things get too quiet at a hangout with your friends or other people, maybe feeling pressured to say something or lighten the mood. For some reason, it’s always your responsibility to do something. Who put that on you? Where did you learn that from? That you should take charge and try to do something or else it’s your fault? Why do you feel inclined to do that? These would be good questions to think about.

The Challenge For You: Pick up a hobby and perfect it. It helps to record yourself working on this hobby, mistakes and all, and post it somewhere where people can see. Closest friends, family, or complete strangers. The reaction will make your more relatable and you’ll gain a lot of support. I’m seeing a soft smile and a genuine pat (“you’re doing good! you got this!” vibe) from your friends or people online. For example, “Day 1 of playing the violin” or “Day 30 of frisbee throwing”. This group seems to be heavily reliant on validation, internal or external. You need people to be there to see when you’re doing well, and people shouldn’t see your mistakes and if they do, you’ll try to move on while beating yourself up in your head. Very perfectionistic and while this helps you in your career or professional life, you should allow yourself to make mistakes, laugh about it, and be more soft towards yourself. Perhaps you got shamed for making a bunch of mistakes when you were younger, taught that mistakes aren’t okay and that you should be perfect, but all the energy here—from my spirit team to yours—is telling you that it’s okay to not get it the first time. Humans are meant to adapt and grow. There’s no fun in getting something the first time around. It’d be beginner’s luck. It’s about the journey and what you put into it that will add tremendously to your charm. It makes you human and it makes you, you. So learn to forgive yourself and build up that confidence.

Points of Interest: xxfj vibes, but mainly isfj/infj, nurse, libra, middle person/mediator, trying to get out there more, lowkey don’t want to socialize all the time but is forced to (whatever this may mean to you, take it), needing validation from others bc your own doesn’t count, suppression, “busy is good”, inner loneliness, void in heart, helping others but not yourself, “was it always this quiet or was i just used to the noise?”, slow down, hustle culture, “this is what I should be doing” (very vague, could mean different things…but this definitely applies to people in this pile), people pleaser…messy hair, in a rush, busy, busy, busy…“Damn it- why isn’t this thing working?!”, coffee, too much coffee, “dude, are you okay?”, stress, “living life in the fast lane as they say…” (for some reason, maria by justin bieber came up- we got any beliebers in here?), social media, parents, boss, workplace, Jane(?), idk why the black mirror episode called “joan is awful”, “I’ll take what I can get”, don’t want to burden other people, fear of humiliation, standards on other people are not as high as the standard you put on yourself, anxious, always moving, check, check, check…restless energy, “it’s on me”, responsibility…

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Pile 2. “I guess…” is not an answer.

This pile floats between pile 1 and 3 but leaning towards 1. The people in this group could share many of the same doubts and feelings as pile 1. But I will say, if you felt drawn to all or any of the other two alongside this one, I suggest you reading those as well. This gives me very infp vibes. Shy but likes to/would like to dress up a bit more, follow the fashion culture, find your own style. There’s a bit of a childlike nature to this group and I’m not sure what it is. Like maybe a financial insecurity or you want to date someone really badly. Like a person who watches a bunch of kdrama’s but never goes outside OR you do go outside and you don’t have the balls to ask someone out. I’m getting couch potato but a cute one. Curled up in a blanket and binge watching in bed. Watching other people chase their dreams and goals while you’re still wondering what yours are. Do you binge-watch a lot of shows or movies? I feel confused reading this pile, as if I’m supposed to be looking for something but I’m either not mature enough or I just don’t know what to look for. Probably struggles with parasocial-ness. Very online, maybe chronically online, if I might add. Maybe you’ve never gone out on a date before. If you did, you’d be super awkward, say something dumb on accident, giggle too much, or just full on shy, laughing a lot, red faced. Do you struggle with a lot of anxiety? A lot of daydreaming or fantasizing. If your friends ask you to go out with them, you either say yes immediately or you make up an excuse of why you can’t go just to lounge at home. But I feel frustrated. I don’t know where to look. Maybe you prefer to rock out with your headphones, blast music, and have a dance party in your room by yourself. Timid. Can be sassy at times. Probably dramatic. Do you still live with your parents, by any chance? I’m getting middle class to lower upper class, maybe even upper (but a lot less so.) Kind of spoiled energy. Maybe people have done things for you your whole life or have chosen the path for you to be on already. Maybe they’ve made decisions for you your whole life.

The Challenge For You: Go outside more and be more observant of people, especially if you think you struggle with social ineptness. If you’re timid, maybe your voice is too quiet that it draws people’s attention or you’re so anxious that you do something loud or reckless that captures attention. Do you have an interest in something that you could capitalize on? Like something in the arts? Maybe you can sell art online, draw for people, get yourself out there without engaging in fights online—it’s not worth your time, I promise. Put your phone down and read a book. Find something you like outside your phone or on any of your devices. This group seems constantly overstimulated with devices that you can never just sit and stare at the wall for a minute. It would help for you to think about the future for a little bit, even if it overwhelms you. If you’re in high school, get a part time job or do research on something you like. Practice gratitude and acknowledge the things that you have that others don’t. There’s a lot of immaturity, emotionally as well, in this pile, like you haven’t figured yourself out yet and you’re just waiting for things to fall into place. If I had to sum this up, it would be to pursue something that you can’t let go of and don’t let other people decide for you. Be more assertive and work on leadership skills. Work on time management as well. Laziness could also be an issue. Find yourself.

Points of Interest: infp vibes, dreamy, pursed lips, fidgeting, immaturity, “maybe if I dress normal, I’ll look normal”, dresses in all black, oversized shirts, beanies(?), don’t bring attention to me, small handwriting or circular letters, pink lead pencil, makes hearts on your “i’s”, secret romantic, easily jumps to conclusions, expectations, “daddy bought it for me”, be more thankful, ambition where?, do something you love and make a job out of it, oversleeping, “i don’t wanna think about it”, impulsivity, anxiousness, effort, purpose, going with the flow…

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Pile 3. “Let’s get this over with.”

Feeling very much a laaaarge lack of energy here. Very drained pile—emotionally, physically, mentally, some or all. Sometimes you feel it’s tiring to keep smiling, like you have to force it to seem okay. You’re in need for some warmth in your life, maybe some hugs or people telling you they’ll be there for you (and mean it), but you may or may not express this need to people; I’m mostly feeling that you keep to yourself a lot, not wanting to burden people. Very introverted energy, like “I’m just here” energy. If you go out, you don’t talk a lot or you need a drink/substance to help you loosen up and talk/act. Are you always tired? Staying up late and staring at a screen, or struggling with insomnia? Or it’s the opposite and you sleep too much—the whole day. Lethargic energy. There’s not much to say about this pile because I think you already know what to do, you just struggle. This could be a health issue or concern that you’re not taking seriously. Are you taking vitamins? I’m getting a zombie or very sedated state. Skin losing color and dark eye bags or under eye circles. Could struggle with depression. You don’t want to be forgotten but you want to be alone. You’re okay with solitude. Maybe you struggle with motivation in general, or motivation to take care of yourself, again, health is coming up—other people could be concerned about you and they tell you or they don’t. I would take a closer look regarding your friend group and maybe reconsider who you’re letting in your world. They could be impacting you for worse. You could be good at photography or have an interest in it. Half-assing most projects or assignments. You probably answer texts late, never answer, or give really short responses. I’m getting the sense that you really just want to exist without judgment or being perceived. Like living like a ghost and move through life seamlessly. You could have a knack for pc games or computer science. Either way, take a shower. You might feel cold often or experience coldness easier than your friends.

The Challenge For You: Join clubs where you know no one. Go alone and make it a secret space for yourself and go for at least 8 months. You’ll find that it can be therapeutic. Yoga classes with old ass ladies can help since they’re just focused on stretching. Find some friends that are ambitious but unmovable, like good leaders. They could influence you to take better care of yourself. Next, find friends that actually care about you and your health, not the “do whatever you want; it’s your life” type of friends. You should visit a sauna some time or go on vacation to a warm-hot country. You could even move there and you would be even slightly happier than now. I would encourage you to seek therapy—with a GOOD therapist. Either you haven’t had the interest or time or you haven’t had a good experience with therapy at all—do not give up. Maybe a counselor at school works. If not, move onto the next option. Confide in better friends, friends that can physically help you get up and move out of your slump, not ones that encourage/enable the bad habits. It’s time to turn your life around pile 3—I seriously think that I don’t need to be telling you these things cuz you already know. You’re definitely not dumb- you just lack motivation. Talk to someone about it or find friends that force you to change your life for the better, the ones that drag you out to go to the park with them. Get out of your comfort zone and start moving. Get that blood moving around your body—someone needs to force you to run, but after a shake rich in protein.

Points of Interest: headphones (maybe AirPod max), cozying up in the corner where people can’t see you, smoking, grey skies, crows, photography, good camera, still camera, cold hands, bitten nails, blue fingers, shrugs, poor blood circulation, pale skin, eating issues (eating too little or too much), needing dopamine and finding easy ways to get it, “i don’t care”, still lack of motivation, sunshine, grumpiness, unchanged sheets, old white tank top (for some reason), your room could use some cleaning, exercise…

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That is all!! I hope you have enjoyed. Feedback is heavily appreciated and I would love to see what pile you chose in your reblogs! As a new reader, I’d like to get as accurate as possible when it comes to picking up energy and doing these readings for you. Remember to take what resonates, leave what doesn’t! Let me know what was accurate for you :) Thank you for coming to my Teddytalk today. (sorry it’s a lame joke ik jsfkdjs)

#pick a pile #pick a card #daily tarot #pac tarot #tarotblr #tarot reading #intuition #intuitive #spiritualgrowth #pick a photo

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meo-on-prairie · 1 year

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Deserve Better

Prompt: After a shitty breakup, involving a douchebag of an ex, who makes you realize he never loved you to begin with. You went to your best friends for comfort, but instead of telling you “you deserve better”, they show you the best you deserve.

Word count: 1786

Tags: FLUFF, a tablespoon of Angst, hurt and comfort, Gojo and Getou being sweetest boys, satosugu established, satorugu x reader not yet, mention of: manipulation and love bombing.

Rambling: This is an extremely self-indulgence fic, heavily inspired by my shitty ex lmao. I just wanna be sandwich between Gojo and Getou to comfort my angry heart :((. This is a mini series, I wanna able to make this series to be compose of a bunch of stand-alone fics that merge together. This is my first time writing after a long while so…

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“He was a pathetic liar!” you shout as soon as Suguru opens the door. Tears are streaming down your faces and you can’t seem to make them stop. The sight of your face full of anger and sorrow quite nearly broke Suguru’s heart. Oh, how he wished he could erase your pain. Not make your pain go away, no, he wanted to erase it from your life completely.

Satoru walks toward the door after hearing the loud commotion, “what did he do this time?” he said knowing exactly who was responsible for your tears. With all honesty, Satoru is only asking for your sake, if he could have it his way, violence is always the answer.

Satoru and Suguru are used to this, it’s been 2 years of this clockwork. Ever Since you start dating your pathetic boyfriend, Anthon, it been a cycle of you venting to them about your relationship problem, them telling you to break up with the fucker, and you “work it out” with the douchebag, who can only tell lies and empty promises, the next day and all is good for about 1 month. It’s the same cycle of them clearly seeing that you are being manipulated, yet unable to do anything. But then again, what can they do? They’re only your friends, nothing more even if they want to be more, and as friends, the only thing they can do is be there for you.

Anthon was your first love, your glasses were not tinted, it was dyed rose-pink. You loved him with everything you got, always there to support him mentally, emotionally, and even sometimes financially. In return, he would love-bomb you with constant, nonstop, overly cheesy affectionate words. He also made a lot of promises to you: of marriage, of spoiling you, of being a better man for you, of being faithful to you; all of which are empty and meaningless in hindsight. They’re so meaningless in fact that it led you to break-up with him 2 weeks ago.

You were tired of his empty words, so you laid down your boundary, you told him you would never want to marry someone who refuses to find a job to support themselves. His answer? “Why can’t you be nicer about these things? Your words cut deep”. Anthon was a man of nothing, he had nothing but his words, and even then he couldn't even keep them. But you loved him, so you put it all aside, all his actions, all his shortcomings, his unwillingness to change for himself; you put it all aside and waited with baited breath, surely, surely…. Surely he’ll do as he said. He never did.

“Come in first, the night is cold, I don’t want you to get sick” Suguru ushers you through the door and into their apartment. As Suguru guided you toward their living room, Satoru went into the kitchen to grab some tissues, water, and something for you to eat your feelings away.

As soon as your body touched the soft velvet material of their couch, you crumbled into Suguru’s arms. He pulls you in closer to his body as yours shakes and heaves, you two sit like that for what feels like an eternity as you let the tears that carry your pain and sorrows fall from your eyes. Your hands balls up Suguru’s shirt as you cry in his embrace, you try to control your sob but it only makes your body shakes harder, almost hyperventilating.

“Shhhh, take your time, let it out. I’m here… we’re here… we’re not goin’ anywhere”

“He said he loves me! He said he wanted to marry me! And not even 2 weeks after our breakup, he’s getting his dick wet and telling another girl he loves her!” you choked out in anguish, still in denial that any of this is real.

“How did you find out about that?” Satoru asked, carrying a tray full of food; after hearing your sobs, he decided that a few snacks wasn’t going to cut it.

“Because the fucker doesn’t even have the decency to keep it private, he been posting her all over his social media!” you swipe out your phone in frustration, pulling up Anthon’s account to show your two best friends the picture of your ex and the girl sitting on his lap, kissing.

They both make a face when you show them the picture, “gross” they said in unison as Satoru places the tray on the table and sits down on your other side.

“I’m just so angry, I can’t believe I wasted 2 years loving someone who never was truthful to me! How can I be so stupid?” your tears are boiling hot, they feel like acid on your skin.

“Hey, hey, look at me, you’re not stupid for simply loving someone.” Satoru cups your face with his hands, nudging you to face him, his thumbs gently wiping away your tears. You close your eyes and feel the warmth of his hands. It’s comforting to be held so gently.

“That’s right, don’t shame yourself for being strong enough to love someone with all you got. That’s a strength, not a weakness.” Suguru agrees, pulling a couple of tissues from the box and handing it to you.

You take the tissues from him to wipe away the tears and blow your nose, it was getting a little hard to breathe from crying, “Thank you… It just hurt realizing that even though I loved him, he never loved me; at least, I don’t think someone who loves me would go out of their way to hurt me like this. Him posting her and rubbing it in my face not even 2 weeks later makes me feel like… I just wasn't worth loving…”

“You’re right, someone that loves you wouldn’t hurt you like he did. But that doesn’t mean you’re unlovable. To us, you’re worth all the love this world has to offer…” Suguru whispers, placing his hand on your shoulder, and he means it. God, does he mean it. Satoru can see it in his partner’s eyes, the same feelings he has.

Satoru and Suguru have loved each other deeply since they were kids, but they always feel something is missing in their relationship. When you walt into their life when they were 15 through the door call “physic group project”, they thought something was wrong with them. They still very clearly love each other, their love is still burning, but their hearts forget how to beat when you smile at them.

How can they not fall for you? You’re kind, so kind you would push aside your shyness and discomfort to help those that need it. You’re intelligent, you quite literally carried them through that physics group project. And dear god, the way you just fit perfectly into their dynamic makes them realize very quickly that they desperately want you to be a part of their life. So desperately, they couldn’t bring themselves to tell you about their feelings in fear of scaring you away from them forever.

“Tell you what? Let’s watch some true crime documentary that you like so much since you’re secretly a sociopath, maybe they’ll give you the inspiration of what to do for revenge?” Satoru said with a smirk.

“If inspiration striked you, we’ll be your executioners.” Suguru added, smiling in relief seeing that you're feeling better after letting it all out. You let out a small giggle and nod.

Satoru turns on the TV and searches for “Unsolved” while Suguru goes to grab the three of you a blanket. When Suguru comes back with the blanket, you get comfortable cuddling between the two of them on the couch. Between Satoru’s jokes about how if he was the detective case wouldn’t have gone cold, and Suguru’s soft chuckles of ‘sure babe’ at his boyfriend’s comment,you start to feel a lot better.

You have always felt the most at home with them. It felt natural to be with them, Satoru’s humor brings laughter into your day, Suguru’s gentleness makes you feel safe. They ground you. You’re starting to wonder why you were even with the dirtbag when you have best friends who show you how you should be treated. But before you can think more on that, drowsiness takes over you.

It didn’t take long for you to fall asleep. With how hard you were crying and the emotional turmoil you experienced, it would be more surprising if you stayed awake. Satoru looks over to the sight of your sleeping face. He squeezed Suguru’s hand he been holding behind you on the headrest of the couch.

Suguru looks over at Satoru and notices where his gaze was directed at. “I don’t want to see her like that again. She deserves all the sunshines life has got to offer, not heartbreak” Satoru whispered softly.

“Do… you think⸻” Suguru started

“Yeah.”

It’s a silent agreement between them. They’re done with watching you on the sideline. They’re done with seeing you in pain. They don’t want to be afraid of losing you anymore if it means they have to leave your happiness in the hands of some other dudes that’s not them. In the hands of someone that doesn’t know how to cherish it like they do.

Suguru gives Satoru’s hand 3 long squeezes, I love you. A soft and silent affection flows between them. You always joke that they’re each other's twin flames due to how they seem to be sharing the same soul; their ideology, way of thinking, even how they feel. They’re so similar despite different personalities it’s uncanny. But they think that if they’re each other’s twin flame, then you would be their soulmate.

They let go of each other's hands so Satoru can carry you into their guest’s room. Well, they call it that but the color and decorations they have in it are all catered to your liking, plus no one beside you ever stays the night anyway.

Suguru opens the door to the room for Satoru. They laid you down and tucked you in.

Suguru went into the bathroom to get a damp face towel. He softly wipes away your streaks of tears so you can sleep comfortably without feeling the stickiness from your tears.

They closed the door as quietly as possible so they don’t wake you, not before glancing at you one last time.

Looking at each other, eyes full of love and determination, they silently vow to each other. They’re going to make you fall, sweep you right off your feet. They’ll treat you like you’re their most prized treasure. You’ll fall for them so hard, you’ll forget you’ve ever loved anyone but them.

2K notes · View notes

cyb3rtarot · 9 months

Text

Pick a Pile: Message From Your Inner Child + How You Can Nurture Them

Disclaimers: choose the pile you feel intuitively drawn to; you can choose more than one! Take what already resonates and leave anything confusing or stressful. Readings are not replacements for professional advice. I used a mix of tarot, oracle, and my intuition.

pile 1->pile 2

pile 3->pile 4

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Pile 1

Message [Justice||nine of hearts rx, king of pentacles, nine of wands rx, three of pentacles rx]: hi pile one! Your inner child wants to express feelings of dissatisfaction or being stifled. Many of you are in a good place financially/with work, at least compared to where you used to be. This came from working very hard without much support from others—maybe even being hindered by others. Other people might look at your life and wish they had it, but your inner child does not seem fulfilled by whatever your position is. I don’t sense ungratefulness, but it does seem like your inner child is more interested in something “deeper” or more meaningful than your physical reality is providing. If you’ve had to claw your way out of hard situations, your inner child seems to be looking for some kind of justice or retribution regarding that. You may feel like you deserve more happiness after what you’ve had to go through, or want people who have done you wrong to be punished.

How you can nurture your inner child [the fool, the emperor, king of pentacles rx, three of swords rx]: a more proactive approach to finding meaning and happiness in your life will nurture your inner child. You might be used to going with the flow—especially if you’re materially comfortable or seeking such a lifestyle. Remember that you have the power to initiate new beginnings; you don’t have to stay the same! Give your inner child space to grow and discover what feels right to them, even if it doesn’t make sense to others. Don’t force yourself to remain in an unhappy spot when there are changes within your grasp. Uncertainty is a necessary part of life. There’s also a big emphasis on balancing your work for outer stability with this search for inner happiness; perhaps some of you unnecessarily overwork yourselves which leaves little time for other things.

For some, this soul searching may involve letting go of past hurts. I’m not trying to force you to forgive others, but to identify how your current reality has formed as a response to pain, and how you can choose to respond differently.

Extra details: isolation, loneliness. Past betrayals and enemies. Being “self made,” supporting oneself. Not being seen and understood, wearing a facade/mask. Music as solace, singing, pop stars (Ariana Grande again lol?). Balance. Being the tough kid, defending yourself. Paying your own way through school. Aggressiveness. Continuous conflict with colleagues or family, unhappiness at work. Wanting to leave a “good” job, or wanting to “run away” (some of you may be daydreaming about “drastic” action, like suddenly quitting and going on a long trip, far away from everyone you know).

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Pile 2

Message [the star rx, seven of wands rx|| nine of swords, the star, four of pentacles rx]: hi pile two! There is a lot of past hurt and trauma in this pile, and your inner child is highly encouraging healing/shadow work. Your inner child is wanting you to lower some of those internal walls so those uncomfortable emotions and memories can be processed. If you feel you need someone like a professional to help you, that is absolutely okay. Healing is hard, trauma is messy, and the “despair” in this pile seems particularly heavy.

How you can nurture your inner child [two of hearts, the tower rx, queen of pentacles rx, the lovers, six of cups rx]: a major focus for your healing journey is examining how past hurts—especially in relationships or childhood—are projected onto present day relationships. You may have developed certain traits or behaviors to survive the past, but now they block you from experiencing the intimacy your inner child craves. This is not to say you should compromise boundaries, but know that intimacy and vulnerability themselves are not the enemy. Thinking or acting like they are can even be a way of self-blaming, as if you not needing love would have prevented others from being toxic or abusers. Examine how past patterns can lead to current self-sabotaging, and also give yourself grace if you feel like you made a mistake. Learning how to navigate relationships of any kind is hard, and trauma can make it harder! Know your inner insecurities are not reflective of the relationship, how others see you, or the truth. If you do wish to work on some aspect of yourself or your healing journey, it’s very much within your capacity.

Extra details: fruit is significant, maybe nostalgic memories of someone cutting or giving you fruit growing up? A house with a tile or distinctive roof, roof decorations. The quiet/shy kid. Feeling like you’re falling apart. Clumsiness. Alone. A lot of yelling and hurtful words (particularly in the past). Childhood or domestic trauma. Catastrophizing. I feel like a lot of you are in a romantic relationship that is triggering anxiety. Practicing healthy communication with your partner may be one part of the healing work mentioned above. I also feel like a lot of you jumped from a very toxic home into a very toxic relationship as you came of age; a current relationship may be difficult due to this pattern that developed.

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Pile 3

Message [ the hermit, the fool rx|| Queen of cups, the chariot, justice rx, ten of pentacles rx, the hanged man rx, the tower]: hi pile 3, your inner child had a lot to say! You might repress them a lot. They want you to know you are living with old mindsets and approaches that are no longer aligned with you. You have a very large inner, emotional world and self awareness, but you don’t let this shine through to the outside. There’s a big nihilistic vibe of just going through the motions and accepting your lot—even when you’re miserable—and even when there’s changes you can make. An imbalance exists between the energy directed towards your mind versus the outside world. There’s a sense of solitude and a “what’s the point?” approach. However, there’s also a sense of restlessness. Your inner child is feeling stifled by this lifestyle; they want to come out and experience enthusiasm! It seems major changes are present or coming in where this can be addressed.

How you can nurture your inner child [the lovers rx, king of swords, knight of wands rx, the emperor rx]: your inner child is encouraging you to embrace excitement for life. It feels like your nihilistic or apathetic approach functions as self-punishment by denying your desires. You’re aware of which things are not working for you anymore, but you’re avoiding tough conversations or decisions. Your inner child wants to break free and to go after what gives them joy; they do not want their emotions to be judged, repressed, or punished. Some of the self awareness you’ve developed in your inner world can be used to help navigate the disappointments and uncertainties of life. You have to wade past these things to reach the treasures in your journey.

Extra details: restlessness, emo (some of you were in middle school), quiet, hurting, simmering anger, Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day, taking an analytical approach to emotions, singing, not being allowed to express emotions growing up. You might say “perhaps” a lot. Water, wanting to live in or visit a location close to water.

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Pile 4

Message [seven of wands rx, king of hearts, the hermit, strength rx, queen of swords|| queen of pentacles, queen of cups rx, five of cups rx, death rx]: hello pile four! The focus of your message is healing vulnerability. You guys have had to be strong by yourself for a long time. For those working on spirituality, it feels like that was the focus of this period. This “hardened” time can come to a close and give way to a new era where you’re more able to face feelings and express them authentically. Your inner child is pointing to a past experience (or multiple) you can revisit to do healing work. This may be a very disappointing heartbreak in a past relationship (of any kind). You might have had to end it with someone who was very attached to you and make that first “hurtful” move so you both could move on and heal. Or, you became disillusioned from lack of emotional fulfillment. Most of you have already done a lot of healing/shadow work and reached a more stable place with your inner sense of security. But, there’s difficulty translating this into being vulnerable with others. Due to the amount of emotional work you had to do, you’re leaning into logic and practicality when there needs to be a balance with emotion. Maybe you can easily identify and scrutinize emotions, but you default to this mental approach to avoid actually feeling it or confronting what you’ve repressed—especially if others’ reactions to your emotions have been disappointing. Protecting yourself is necessary and so is analyzing emotion. But sometimes feelings just need to pass through! We can only “think” our way so far into understanding life lessons. Vulnerability with ourselves—and knowing healthy ways to be vulnerable with others—are both healing.

How you can nurture your inner child [the hierophant rx, king of wands, princess of wands, page of cups rx, the devil rx]: you’ve done a lot of self-discovery and learning lessons on purpose. This has made space for beautiful growth—however, there’s an emphasis on being open to developing with other people, too. You may want to continue working on yourself in isolation, but some growth and self-knowledge can only be discovered through others. You may repress your inner child’s desire for connection—forcing yourself to be independent. This seems comfortable for you, but not necessarily fulfilling. You may not know where to start with allowing others inside your world. This pile is stuck in the middle of not wanting to deal with toxic BS and yearning for something new + authentic. You may really have to push yourself to leave your comfort zone when it comes to others, and remember that your past experiences don’t define every experience you could have. I’m not suggesting to do things that feel wrong to you, but I am suggesting to notice where you squash your curiosity towards others as a defense mechanism. If you remain true to the things you’ve learned during this time, you’ll be much more adept at spotting insincere people and setting boundaries. And, you’ll be equipped for the inevitable challenges that occur when we get closer to others. These aren’t necessarily bad challenges, but for someone who has learned to love being alone, the metaphorical social “dance” can seem daunting. People are lessons, but not everyone is going to be a hard lesson.

Extra details [TW abuse, self harm, suicide mention]: using spirituality as a reason to not feel (example, not letting yourself feel disappointed because “that’s how it was meant to be”), likes to rhyme or make puns a lot, tendency towards being nonchalant/apathetic, trying to “think” emotions away, not knowing how to stop being so independent. Spiritual, wise, eccentric/enigmatic, self-assured. “Nice” relationships but very few “deep” relationships. Wanting to be friendly but getting alarmed when someone want to be friendly back lol. May have been in a relationship with a very imbalanced power dynamic; someone may have had the power to punish you? In & out the hospital as a child or a very big medical incident. Working in medical (specifically getting nursing) or as a coach, trainer. Surgeries & surgical scars (especially emergency surgery to save your life), medical implants & devices, physically disabled. SH scars. Past attempt on one’s life. Unwilling to feel emotion in fear of getting swept away by them. Stoic on the outside, emotional inside. Always trying to “solve” your emotions

░░░

406 notes · View notes

fillinforlater · 1 year

Note

Ive’s Liz has a surprising lack of m reader nsfw content/smut on here,, would you consider writing something about her? -💙M

Perfection, We Find

Male Reader x Kim Jiwon

Length: 2257 words

Tags: first time, loving sex, body issues, healthy relationship (yes, those exist in my smuts), clit play, fingering, focus on female orgasm, lovey dovey language, slow penetration, making out, girlfriend!Liz

TW: none (yeah, okay, it's a smut, duuuuh)

Inspiration: Liz pretty, thank you @dive-mdcw for reminding me

Credit: @capslocked for proof-reading. Thank you!

(A/N: Something more lovey-dovey for the softies among us >.<)

“Only if you take responsibility.”

This response, a faint whisper from her lips right onto yours, is more than odd. You are used to Liz saying things randomly, out of pocket, a bit weird, but this one actually frightens you a little. It’s the answer to a question you have only asked three times throughout the entirety of your relationship.

“Can we have sex?”

You wanted to be careful to word it properly, but the heat of the moment got to you. Your hands were around her waist, nose deep in her alluring scent, the envy of all roses in the world, while she put her full, red lips on your cheek. It was great, but what really pushed you over the edge was one of her hands tugging at your hair and her breath turning to a tiny moan.

Now she is barely touching you; the only thing you can feel are her eyes piercing you, turning you to a glass panel or at least trying to. She is serious, more serious than the other two times when she rejected your advances and the two of you ended up only kissing and cuddling.

“What do you mean by that?” you ask, voice very low, almost drowned out by the TV in the background.

“I just want my boyfriend to know that I trust him, but I also want to make sure,” Liz answers, then puts her mouth on your jaw, kissing all the way to right below your lips which form a smile.

“Of course I’ll make sure that it doesn’t slip off.”

Suddenly, Liz takes a long step back. Her eyes show confusion, annoyance that she was not able to look right through you. Her arms fold right underneath her heaving, full chest. You can see her desire, her passion for you, for this moment and what is to come, but it’s overshadowed by what seems like a crucial misunderstanding.

“By ‘it’ you mean a condom?” Liz asks, her voice a bit snippy. “I’m not going to lose my virginity to some piece of rubber. I want your real… thing.”

Swallowing this is hard. God, you would lie if you said you didn’t want to have raw, passionate sex with your girlfriend, but it’s just too dangerous. You’re too young to be parents, too financially unstable, too scared of all the responsibilities that come with it. For Liz to have such a reckless request, you struggle to agree to it.

Yet you still nod, you still say ‘okay’ and throw all caution into the wind. It makes Liz smile and blush.

“Stay here, I’ll call you,” she says and disappears into her bedroom. She leaves you hard, incredibly horny, longing for release to forget everything for a moment. Your girlfriend has some weird views. She is not religious, so her outright rejection to the most logical, basic protection cannot be explained by this.

As you are stuck in trying to find the reason for Liz’s behavior, you hear all kinds of sounds coming out of her room. Closets opening and closing, clothing flying through the air, groans, an electric razor, more groans, then a sudden hiss—there is more, but you have no clue what they might be about.

“I’m ready~”

Liz has never sounded so lewd. You’ve never opened a door faster.

Liz has never looked so lewd. She stands before you, nothing but red lingerie on her fully shaven body. A hand twirling her wavy hair, a tongue peeking through her bright crimson lips, a tiny wink—she is taking all the steps to look absolutely irresistible. Suddenly, she turns around, slightly bends over and slowly spreads her smooth ass cheeks. The thin piece of red cotton disappears in between them and you groan like a mindless gooner.

Liz then spins back around, still leaning forward, showing her cleavage and then showing off more by grabbing both her breasts and pressing them together. They look huge, like soft pillows to squeeze forever. That’s when you notice something. It’s all off, a masquerade, a play if you want to go that far. There are tiny scars on Liz’s body, from shaving to quickly. There are rose petals, the biggest cliches ever, spread on her bed. There is padding in her bra to make her perfect, already big boobs seem huge.

Liz is playing a character.

“Liz,” you sigh and wrap your arms around her. “Stop it. This isn’t like these videos, the books, the movies.”

“No,” she quietly interjects. “This is our first time—I couldn’t live with this not being special, not being perfect—”

“That’s not what this is about,” you coo and press her head onto your chest. “This is about us loving each other and showing it. You look insanely hot right now, but you’d also look hot without padding in your bra or—”

“You saw that!?”

Liz tries to free herself out of your embrace, her face hidden behind flustered hands, but you don’t let her go, instead trying to find her gaze through slightly parted, trembling fingers. Her eyes show uncertainty, embarrassment, the hint of tears you cannot allow to run down her gorgeous face.

“I love you, Liz. Don’t think you are not enough or that this has to be flawless. Let’s just enjoy this, okay?”

“O-okay.”

It’s as if she added ‘kiss me and quickly forget this’ afterwards by lunging her mouth onto yours and dominating the kiss with such intensity, you actually forget what might have become a speech about self-worth and porn and—what? The train of your thought has been derailed by Liz’s tongue exploring your mouth fast, lovingly and it all comes crashing down onto her mattress.

“C-can you touch me?” Liz asks shyly, fixated on you. You join her blush.

“S-sure, just tell me how you like it.”

Liz’s fingers wrap around your wrist and she quickly pulls you in between her legs, the sensitive spot covered by red lace. This coverage is rendered useless as she shoves your hand right on her lips, both thick and a hint of wetness on them. Not enough, but you’re here to change this.

“Right there,” she moans when you find the tiny nub, stiff in arousal, its sensitivity ever increasing every time you brush it. Soft curses leave Liz’s lips, the back of her head sinks deeper into the sheets, her hold on your wrist grows tighter—

This is equally thrilling to you. She trusts you, wants your hands all over her body, shame not holding her back anymore. It’s strange, but you grow more certain in her love—more than any crush that got you two together—the wetter her panties get. Crimson lingerie turns to the color of wine, and Liz is drunk on your hand, pressing it down a bit harder.

Liz groans your name, her free hand reaching for your body, tugging at your shirt. You get closer to her face, place sudden, tender kisses on her cheeks without ever closing your eyes. The sight of your girl squirming and grinding in desperate need of your hands' attention is driving you mad. Your own desire is barely containable, you only hold back by, paradoxically, increasing Liz’s stimulation and thereby your own.

“Ouh,” Liz groans, her grip leaving your wrist, “It feels so~ good, I can’t.”

Her voice fades into a whisper, then a moan. Actually, all there is is moans; you have involuntarily joined your girlfriend to create a symphony that has to lead to her orgasm. Wet nectar gently brushes along your fingers as Liz grinds herself to a longer and longer climax on your palm. Soon, your hand will smell of her and you won’t have it any other way.

“I love you, I love you,” you hum as you nibble on her adorable earlobe. Liz’s breath is heavy.

“I—I, me too. I l-love you too.”

“You’re perfect.”

“You’re just saying that.”

“Oh, am I?” you say teasingly and without warning slip two of your fingers into Liz. She arches her back and digs the nails of her fingers into your biceps. “Well, if you think so.”

“Wait.” She stops you from getting up from the bed. “We still didn’t do the thing.”

“What thing? Having sex?”

“Yes.”

“Oh Liz.” You laugh and sit down next to her, juice stained fingers rubbing her flawless thighs. “You have a very narrow view of sex. Wasn’t this very intense?”

“Yeah, but—”

“But,” you parrot her and peck her lips for a mere second. “You still want me inside of you. You want to be full. Only then you might accept your perfection.”

Liz plays with the hem of her panties, trying really hard to ignore your lips that are right there, a breath away from hers. She can try all she wants, her eyes betray her and in an irrationally quick sequence of events, clothes fly off. Your pants and underwear find solace in between rose petals, while Liz’s drenched panties still dangle around her right ankle.

“What about the rest?” Liz asks just as you're about to get in position.

“W-well you’re still wearing your bra as well!” you fight back, louder than you wanted to. That’s a sore spot, but instead of sticking her fingers into it, Liz leans towards you and kisses your neck.

“I love you.”

Her voice is so smooth, so beautiful, so loving. No other woman could ever compare to her in any aspects, but you know that is just you. However, when it comes to her voice, you truly believe it is the greatest thing ever heard. God and Mother Nature must have teamed up and through some incredible way of forgiveness, you’re the one hearing it say

I love you.

“You’re also perfect,” she adds. “Even without a six pack.”

“I—I… thank you, Liz.”

“Now take me~”

You roll a condom on your throbbing erection and watch as Liz sinks into the sheets delicately, like a rose petal falling onto the surface of a lake, dazzling in the scorching summer sun. A thumb to spread her labia, then you start to push into her with care and love and even more care when she winces.

“It’s alright,” you tell her. “Am I too fast?”

“T-too big, maybe.”

“Y-you’re just saying that.”

“I-I’m not.” Her stare speaks volumes, her knuckles turning white as she grabs the sheets as well. “Be gentle, please.”

“Of course, I’m sorry.”

Glide out of her walls. You thought you were careful, but the actual depth of your penetration was deeper than you wanted. Liz isn’t the only one who can still learn a lot when it comes to sex. Most importantly, you have to make her relax, take things easy and not painfully cramp around you.

Kisses on her calves, kisses on her thighs, kisses right under her navel—your fingers try similar soothing motions across her entire body. Liz’s skin becomes your shrine to praise her body, her entire being. Carefully you paint circles that make her moan, blow kisses that evoke laughter and lastly, you grab her covered breasts and she gasps.

No tension, just love and arousal. The young woman relaxes and feels you entering once more. This time you look at her closely, study her reaction. The way her jaw drops, loosely hanging as she breathes; then suddenly a nod. You push further, reach deep into her. She bites her lips.

“I love you,” Liz hums.

“I love you too.”

“I think you can move now.”

Your hips react in an instant. They have developed a mind of their own and were patiently waiting for her to say it. You hold them back through bloody tears, but fighting the pleasure coming from Liz’s hot and pulsating walls is a mission impossible. Grit your teeth when suddenly she seizes control of your hands. Fingers entangled as if they were in a prayer she pulls them above her head and your lips instinctually fall on hers.

At the same time you lose. The war against your hips was short, they are already mindlessly rutting back and forth dragging you out of her tight cavern and back in. Liz moans into the kiss, her eyes tightly shut. Curses upon you for opening your eyes at this moment, but she looks absolutely gorgeous. Every wrinkle on her forehead, every hair sticking to her skin, every shudder from her arms—

I’m sorry, I need to fill you.

You thrust faster, deep into Liz’s pussy, her juice your lubricant. Naturally you go faster the more comes out, so you begin to rub her clit, an age-old trick (and by ‘age-old’ you mean ten minutes ago) that works wonders on her. Liz’s moans turn to screams, her voluptuous thighs begin to tremble and the rest of her body is just a beautiful puddle of sweat.

“I-I, it feels so go—”

“Me too, Liz, I might just—”

“Don’t hold back! We’re s-safe, just…”

With all your trust in the condom, you wipe out your brain and blow the load of your life into it. The stimulation becomes too much to bear, your pistoning stops, What does not stop however is the way you rub Liz clit. Faster and faster, until she gushes and cums around your still inserted cock. Her voice is almost hoarse from her loud moans.

In a final surge of strength you push yourself up just to fall next to Liz. Both of you are out of breath, all senses overstimulated to the point only happiness matters. Happiness and—

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

#kpop smut #female idol smut #male reader insert #girl group smut #ive smut #male reader smut #liz smut #kim jiwon smut

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guxciestone · 1 year

Text

🦷 ❛ SR SATURN THROUGH THE HOUSES ༉‧₊˚ ˚୨୧

(solar return chart)

☁️✧

‎ ‎

❝ where is the structure within your year? ❞ ✧ ೃ༄

hii !! i hope life is treating you amazing. if you have astrology or tarot blog suggestions, i’m free to considering them in my asks or notes. thank you for the love and support <3

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saturn in the 1st house

This is an indication that you will find structure, discipline, and restrictions in your outlook, appearance, personality, or how others treat/view you this year. You will notice that you are much more mature, logical, and serious this time around. Perhaps you are more focused on your aspirations or building towards certain goals. You are more than likely going to approach this year with rigidness and firm intentions of better yourself in any area of your life. Find the area you are most focused on improving and building by finding which house your capricorn and aquarius is in. Others might view you as more disciplined, mature, and focused this year; however, others might think you are too serious or a bit of a debbie downer this time around as you are more prone to negative or restrictive thinking this year. This placement is notable for indicating weight loss and isolating yourself from others. This is the perfect time to reevaluate about your life since Saturn is known for coming back around to make you think about the structures you have created so far.

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saturn in the 2nd house

This shows that you’ll find structure, discipline, and restrictions in your finances, material possessions, skills, and values this time around. It is possible that your money might run a bit shorter than usual this year, perhaps you lost a job or income isn’t coming the fastest. On the other hand, you probably secured a great job and now your finances are more stable than ever. However, it is important to manage your money skills well or this structure can easily break apart within the 12-month mark. This also indicates a singular source of income as well. Hence, if you have one source of income that seems to be handling you well, stay with that; if not, then try to break out into new different sources. It is possible that this year you’ll try to learn or discover a new technical skill that can land you really good financial or career opportunities in the future. If not, try it now. This is also a significant time to think about your priorities and values. Are these values going to be good for you in the long run, and are they going to serve you well if you abide by it?

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saturn in the 3rd house

This year is the year in which you’ll find structure, discipline, and restrictions in your mind, learning processes, communications, and peers. You are taking on your mental projects and activities more seriously this time around. Perhaps you are more focused on your studies or goals than usual. This placement is perfect for when you want to take on complex and longer plans within the year because you have excess energy to pertain to. However, it is important to take a closer look at what you are spending your time on as well as how you are viewing the particular situations as you are more prone to negative thinking and extreme realism. It may be harder for you around this time to dream and visualize your desires the way you want. You are taking on more responsibilities as well, so make sure you are properly dealing with your mental stress too.

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saturn in the 4th house

This is an indication that you will find structure, discipline, and restrictions in your sense of security, home, family, and personal life. During this time, you are more committed and responsible to your home environment. Perhaps the home is old and needs to be tended to and renovated, or you are striving to financially secure yourself to take care of your home or family. In other cases, there could be an emotional responsibility for loved ones or family members. It is possible that you have to take care of an elderly member like a grandparent and they may need physical or emotional assistance. On the other hand, you may be a new parent and could be dedicating your time to handling your newborn. The entire notion is that you are savoring your time tending to your family and home environment.

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saturn in the 5th house

This shows that you’ll find structure, discipline, and restrictions in your self-expression and creative aspirations. This time around you are uncomfortable and wary in how you present and express yourself around others. You feel like a fish out of water and you do not feel natural in your individuality. You may find that your social environment or skills have changed in some way. You’re more worried about whether you should relax and have fun. This is also the opportunity to take your hobbies and creative expressions much more seriously this year as this calls for you to possibly reap success from your passions. This indicates you should be more organized and structural with your craft. In other cases, you could feel you have a certain responsibility with your child if you are a parent.

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saturn in the 6th house

This year is the year in which you’ll find structure, discipline, and restrictions in your health, routine, pets, and daily habits. It is possible that you are taking your day-to-life schedules and habits more seriously. Perhaps you start a strict diet, start a serious morning routine, or dedicate a significant amount of time within your day to work. This easily grounds you and gives you some type of form in your life. However, it is important to be careful that you do not get caught in a loop of autopilot because it can easily lead you to depression, feelings of hopelessness, and negative thinking. This placement also could show ultimate perfectionism so it is vital to make sure that not everything has to go as planned as you want it to be. You are probably more mature about your health as well, perhaps better eating habits. This can also point to a responsibility to a pet, perhaps a pet that is usually hard to take care of, like a big or exotic animal.

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saturn in the 7th house

This is an indication that you will find structure, discipline, and restrictions in your interpersonal relationships, others, and outer environment. This is the time when you are more serious and observative about your relationships and what importance they take in your life. You are probably more picky about who you let close to you, and keep the people who you do not feel secure with distant. If you are engaged, this is a perfect placement for commitment, loyalty, and security within the marriage. If you are not or single, you might lack commitment and could feel far from your relationships with others in a way. You may notice that some of your relationships are distant due to some outer or emotional circumstance–for example: long-distance, financial problems, work, parents, etc. This placement calls for you to pay close attention to your interpersonal relationships and realize the extra commitment and care you’ll have to put into them this year.

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saturn in the 8th house

This shows that you’ll find structure, discipline, and restrictions in your finances, shared resources, and intimacy. You may find that your financial situation could be limiting and scarce at some point. Perhaps you have debt that needs to be paid off (mortgages, bills, car loans, etc) and you need to decrease how much money you spend within the year. IYou might find that you will not receive that much money from others this time around. If you are married or share finances with someone, there could be restrictions getting in the way of receiving from the other person. Perhaps they’ve lost a job or aren’t receiving much income as they used to, or maybe they aren’t willing to share with you. Additionally, intimacy may not be as fulfilling this time around due to outer or emotional circumstances.

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saturn in the 9th house

This year is the year in which you’ll find structure, discipline, and restrictions in your beliefs, the way you take and see the adversities of life. This placement shows that one might enroll in an established learning environment such as college, a course, etc. There is an innate need to learn this time around. You might feel as though you need to wait until the perfect time to start learning what you want because you want your undivided attention and dedication for the subject; hence, there could be a delay in enrolling into college, school, or any classes. This also shows that you are more serious about your personal philosophy and beliefs around the time; therefore, you are probably more willing to learn more about views on life to establish a rigid mindset on what you have faith in.

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saturn in the 10th house

This is an indication that you will find structure, discipline, and restriction in your career, professional skills, image, and legacy. This placement points to a delay, or starting over in your professional life. Perhaps you quit a job, starting a new job you have no experience in, juggling two different responsibilities or jobs at once, or starting a business from scratch. In other cases, you may be putting a delay to your career life due to other obligations or rethinking your entire professional path. This also shows retirement or moving on from your working portfolio altogether if you are older. This time around you are seen as more serious, responsible, or hard working to the public. More than likely if one of the things are happening to you above, you have tons of work to do. However, if you are sure of your goals and aspirations, this placement can be rather beneficial and cause no problems.

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saturn in the 11th house

This shows that you’ll find structure, discipline, and restrictions in your aspirations, friendships, and community. This is the time where you are reassessing your personal hopes, dreams, and goals. You have to decide whether or not these aspirations are serving you and your future. This placement also points to the realizations that one does not have any hopes or goals. It calls for them to figure it out, so this is more than likely not the time for you to go on vacation or spend lots of time loitering. It is the perfect era for you to reconsider your values as well as who you feel deserve to be apart of your community–develop serious friendships and communal connections.

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saturn in the 12th house

This year is the year in which you’ll find structure, discipline, and restrictions in your unconscious, private side, and unknown parts of yourself. This is the time to face your fears and weaker parts of yourself. You are more likely going to feel shame, insecurity, fear, guilt, and anxiety during this year. It is usual for one to feel responsible for all of the things that could possibly go wrong around the time, but in reality, it is due to them not coming into contact with and accepting the parts of themselves they avoid. Perhaps they feel guilty about feeling a certain way about a responsibility they have, their personality, their self-expression, and much more. The universe will bringing you personal blockages until you realize what it is you are avoiding and try to actively fix it.

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#guxciestone #astrology #solar return chart #saturn #through the houses

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why-animals-do-the-thing · 5 months

Note

If you don’t mind sharing, since you don’t work for a zoo what is your job situation like? Making a living while working at a definitely zoo seems tricky. Is your main income zoology/animal related or is that more of a side thing?

Sincerely,

- a curious zoology student

I have a (mostly) unrelated jobjob - I’ve never actually been affiliated with a single facility, unless you count college internships before I started this blog. I freelance, working as a science media fact-checker and taking paid research contracts occasionally. I do work on a lot of animal / biology related fact-check content, but it’s not my entire scope of work. I also have the privilege of having family assistance, as I have chronic health issues that interfere with the normative 9-5 grind.

Everything I do in terms of blog writing/research, zoo industry research and publication, and photography is unpaid and pretty much a hobby at this point.

Prior to the pandemic I was trying to find funding for the intra-industry research and public-facing outreach I was doing, but there was never any money for it. (The industry is very used to expecting labor from young women for free. There was and is a lot of interest in the work I do, but the number of people/orgs that have ever provided compensation or financial support is in the single digits). The pandemic actually gave me the chance to pivot to focusing on professional fact-checking.

The only funding I get for any of this work is through a somewhat defunct Patreon I set up years ago when I was trying to make this blog / scicomm a full time gig. I’m terrible at updating it, and I’m conflicted enough about that to have been considering deleting it entirely. (For those of you who have stuck it out despite the radio silence, you’re incredible. You’ve facilitated the donation of my time to write a really cool paper with a zoo disaster response org, which will hopefully get through peer review soon).

To make something like this blog and everything else I do in the field actually financially sustainable, I’d need to fundraise and market more. The thing about a fact-checking career, though, is that it’s reinforced the need to make sure everything I write/say publicly is completely and 100% correct - because that level of rigor is what supports my professional reputation! Which means I’m slow to produce research and reticent to talk about it before it’s finished. My work comes out all the better for it, but it doesn’t fit into a content model that produces revenue.

So yeah, all of this is a side thing that I fit in around my paid work and my health. Because sometimes I just need to go see a tiger and smell an elephant, y’know?

#personal information #zoo job almost always require multiple incomes or family support #or generational wealth #otherwise you live in poverty #I am on a very non traditional industry path and it definitely does not pay either #but it’s a passion project

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feministdragon · 3 months

Text

every once in a while a discussion flares up on tumblr: separatism vs activism reading through the various arguments I find myself agreeing with both sides in a lot of places. the activism side argues that without it, we wouldn’t have the right to vote, bank accounts, property ownership, financial independence, sexual harassment and abortion laws, a lot of practical structures that free women in concrete ways. i completely agree with this. the separatism side argues that women need a space away from men to experience themselves as human beings, to experience freedom and to experience female solidarity, and to develop networks of mutual aid. I also completely agree with this. and then everyone starts fighting, which i really don’t understand. We need both! Both is good! There are more than enough women in the world to do all the projects! We can have some women creating separatist spaces for women to take shelter in, and we can have some women banding together to create practical change that free women in the short term. What is there to argue about? I mean, maybe the background of this is the whole lesbian vs straight women thing? Which tbh i also don’t understand why we have to fight about this. I’m a lesbian, and the majority of my friends and feminist collaborators are straight women. just by looking at the women around me I’m very very aware of how being partnered with a woman saves me an incredible amount of bullshit in my life, and yet I’m equally aware of why women choose to be het-partnered. for example in our organization there’s one women whose job title includes the word ‘responsible’. Her husband began a campaign to undermine her participation by telling her that because her job title said ‘responsible’ that when our organization ‘inevitably bankrupted’ she would be left holding the legal debt which then (his main point) would impact him. So she was scared by him into wanting to leave her position, when we really don’t have anyone else who can fill that right now, and so it would have caused a huge strain on us, but also, she’s perfect for this position, it’s very good for her, and she likes the work. We were able to show her that he was just fucking with her, that the legal responsiblity for the money actually lay with a different role in the org, but it was yet another example of how men could reach into our private business and stir us about, because of how women are so financialy and emotionaly bound up with their legal male partners. so, do I cut off my friendship with this woman just because her husband is a danger to us? Obviously not, because her husband is even more of a danger to her, and I’m trying to support her until her children are old enough that she can safely choose to leave him. Is it irritating that her husband can just reach through her and fuck with us like that? Absolutely. Am I angry that women are constantly misled into marriage and find out too late that they are trapped? Of fucking course. Do I then conclude that all straight women are bullshit? Also of course not. But am I going to be cautious about who joins the group in future, and only let in lesbians? Also of course not. Because every set of hands is valuable and necessary, and we do other things to protect ourselves (like not let any man have a position of power in the org). so what I want to ask is, what is the separatism/activism divide about? why are people making it a choice between the two things? is the foundational problem just either-or thinking? if you are separatist why do you side-eye male-involved women? if you are a male-involved woman, why do you side-eye separatists?

(crossposted on the Cloven Hooves forum if you want to comment on it there)

#feministdragon #radfem #radical feminism #feminist #women's liberation #women's rights #women's rights are human rights #radfems

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melancholyhigh · 1 year

Note

Request (only if you want to ofc): Can you write Leon Kennedy pulling you over but like instead of fining you he's like "I have another way of solving this debt of yours" *wink* *wink*

i love this request sm

ft. cop!leon x fem!reader

synopsis. officer kennedy is a very considerate man.

content. smut. 1.6k words. power imbalance, unprotected p in v, fingering, spanking, exhibitionism, use of the term 'sir'.

note. thank you for the request anon, i hope you enjoy! exams are almost over so i'll get to more of your requests soon <33

masterlist. inbox. comments & reblogs are highly appreciated !!

You watch the blue and red flash of the cop car through the side mirror of your vehicle. The God-awful siren screeching is enough to sour your already shitty mood.

Pulling over to the side of the road, you contemplate how to get your ass out of this problem. You couldn’t afford a ticket right now. Your student debt is enough of a financial crisis.

There’s a knock on the glass, and you roll your window down. You hoped the officer would understand your situation and give you a break.

“Do you have any idea how fast you were going, ma’am?” A smooth yet authoritative voice questioned.

You always hated that question. How were you even supposed to answer it?

You finally glance up at the officer with an unamused look, noticing his pretty blue eyes trail along your body. He’s probably trying to figure out if you’re under the influence.

He notices your lack of response before continuing, “You were going a 100 in a 75. I’m going to have to–”

“C’mon, officer.” You cut off his statement with desperation, gripping the steering wheel in frustration. “There has to be another way. I- I can’t afford to pay off anything right now. I’ll do anything, I swear.”

It was your fault you got into this predicament, but you weren’t ready to accept that yet.

He's observing you again, weighing his options. He clicks his tongue but agrees.

“Anything? I think I have another way you can make up for it,” he says, a sly smirk on his lips.

“Really!? Thank you so much, sir!” You say excitedly, a smile blooming on your face. “What do you have in mind?”

“Would you mind exiting your car?”

You feel nervous but comply, stepping out of your car.

You stand tall, straightening your back as you look at the brooding officer. His eyes are on you again, but there’s something else in his gaze while he watches you from top to bottom. He takes in your outfit, the tight mini skirt and top that leaves little to the imagination.

You’re staring right back at him. You couldn’t deny that he looks attractive. The blue cotton shirt hugs his fit figure, and the blonde wisps of hair frame his gorgeous face. You always did like a man in uniform.

“So how will I avoid the dent in my bank account? Officer…” You trail on.

“Officer Leon Kennedy.” He says, stepping closer to you. “I’m gonna make sure you won’t be reckless on the road again.”

Your eyes widen slightly at the sudden proximity, but you don’t mind. You also don’t miss the look the officer gives you like you’re his favourite meal, ready to be ravaged.

“How are you gonna do that, Officer Kennedy?” You ask, looking up at him innocently, playing into it.

“I’m going to punish you. Is that okay with you, ma’am?”

Your face feels warm at his words, but you nod. The warmth moves through your body and to your core.

“You have to tell me, miss.” He softly grips your jaw, making you look up at him. His thumb pulls at your bottom lip. You can’t believe you’re about to fuck a police officer in public to avoid being fined.

“It's okay.” You manage to get out. He squeezes your cheeks, your lips jutting out.

“Sir or Officer Kennedy. You get that baby?” He states, letting go of your face when you mumbled a quiet yes, sir. You’re looking up at him again, awaiting what he will do next.

“Bend over, ma’am. Over the hood of your car.” He instructs you, his voice laced with authority, and your pussy pulses with need.

You’re quick to listen to his every word. On your elbows and palms, flat against the hood of your car, supporting your body weight. One of his hands rests on your hips while the other is trailing down to the hem of your skirt. He bunches the fabric up, and you gasp softly at the cold air nipping at your skin.

You hear a faint fuck not before both of his are on your ass, squeezing the soft flesh. His hand moves to your panties, and you’ve probably soaked through them. He presses his thick fingers on the dampened spot.

“I think you’re enjoying this punishment too much, baby.” He mutters, gliding his fingers along your panties, barely enough stimulation on your clit.

“Fuck, please,” you whine softly. Hands come into contact with the flesh of your ass with a loud sound, and a whimper softly escapes the back of your throat. The pain which resonates with the slap turns into pleasure, and you involuntarily squeeze your thighs together.

“Please, sir.” He mocks you as he soothes the tender area. You want to roll your eyes, but instead, you relent, repeating his words with need.

“I don’t know. Will you behave for me, miss?”

“Yes, sir.” You whine. “I– I’ll be good for you.”

You hear him chuckle behind you, but he pulls your panties to the side, marvelling at your dripping cunt. His digits glide along your drooling pussy, coating it in your slick. He pulls his fingers back, and you hear him sucking on them with a loud groan.

“You taste so good, ma’am.”

You don’t have time to appreciate his kind words before his fingers work on your throbbing clit. You gasp at the sudden attention, and Officer Kennedy takes an opportunity to push his finger inside you.

Loud whines leave you as you fall apart on the Officer’s finger. He adds another digit, pumping them into your pussy. His movements are deliberate, curling into your cunt as he tries to edge you, keeping you from coming.

“Good girls get to come,” he had said.

You’re so close to coming for what feel’s like the 10th time — he pulls away from you. You huff in annoyance.

There’s another slap on your raw ass, and you can’t help but moan. Each noise you make goes straight to Leon’s cock.

“Please, sir, fuck me.” You’re almost sobbing from being robbed of another orgasm. Your thigh’s trembling, and your lips quiver as you plead to the Officer.

“Only because you’ve been so good for me, baby.”

You hear the soft clicking of his belt as he unbuckles it and pushes his boxer down to expose his aching cock. You so badly want to turn your head back to look at it.

One of his hands is on the curve of your back, pushing you forward on the hood of your car as the other guides his dick along your slit, bumping your clit. The tip of his cock enters your cunt, and you whine aloud.

He’s slowly moving into your tight, huffing as he does so. He isn’t even entirely in, but he’s already stretching you wide.

He’s wholly inside of you, your ass flushed to his pelvis. His cock is so fat you wish you could’ve seen it before it's inside of you. You’re grateful he’s prepped you with his fingers despite the teasing.

He leans forward, your back pressed against his chest, and his breath fans your ear. You clench around him, and he groans.

He starts moving in and out of your sloppy pussy, and your arousal coats his cock with each movement. You push for hips back, eager to finally come.

Your eyes roll to the back of your head when the tip of his cock kisses the spot that makes you see stars. Your moans grow in volume and amount.

“Sh– Shit. You want everyone to know how much of a slut you are, huh? How much you love to be fucked dumb by an officer?” He huffs into your ear, punctuating each word with the thrust of his hips.

You’re full-on sobbing due to the assaulting pace of his cock on your g-spot. He squeezes your hips roughly, letting out soft moans into your ear as the velvety walls of your cunt squeeze him tight.

You’re so close. The knot formed in your tummy is so tight, ready to snap.

“Can I come, sir?” You plead, teary-eyed. Your nails attempting to dig into the hood of your car. You hope it doesn't dent as he fucks you.

“Come, baby. Let everyone know who’s fucking you so good.” He groans. You know there isn’t anyone here for miles, but the thought still has you clenching around his cock.

Leon moves one of his hands to your clit, rubbing circles on the sensitive bud. Your cunt gushes as you come undone, pulsing around his fat cock, which still persistently ruts into you.

“Where d’you want my cum, ma’am?” He pants. It now hits that he still doesn’t know your name. That doesn’t change the fact you want him to come in you.

“Come inside me, sir.”

You hear him gasp before he comes, spilling his hot seeds inside your tight cunt.

He pulls out of you, placing back your panties on and pulling your skirt down before fixing himself back into his pants.

With shaking legs, you turn around to face Officer Kennedy, his cum spilling from your panties and down your thighs. You look up at him through eyelashes, clumped together from tears. He holds you by your waist as you try to balance yourself.

His face is flushed pink, and the blonde wisps of hair stick to his sweat-slicked forehead. He clears his throat, continuing,

“I think you might have to pay an extra fine.”

#leon kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy smut #resident evil #leon x reader #leon smut #resident evil smut #re4 smut #leon x you #leon kennedy x you #re4 x you #re4 #re4 x reader #smut #✩‧₊˚ fics #✩‧₊˚ requests

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his-tamine · 3 months

Text

SPIDER'S ATTEMPTING HIS VERY FIRST COMMS!!!! RAAAA!!!!! (I’m legit sooo fucking nervous - everyone point & laugh /lh)

Info below ↓ (looks like way more than it is)

- As I said, this is my first time doing commissions, so thank you in advance for your patience with me. Contact me via email ([email protected]), Tumblr DMs, or Discord (eldritchwhore_) - whichever you’re most comfy with - if you’re interested! I'm also open to using other social media(s) you prefer, just let me know what. :]

I WILL draw:

NSFW (only of 18+ characters)

SFW (characters of all ages)

Fan art

Gore/Injury

Ship Art

etc. (just lmk)

I WON'T draw:

The obvious (anything hateful or illegal)

Furry (genuine skill issue on my part)

Mecha (again: skill issue)

Realism

ETC.

you can always request to see my progress, but I will show you when I am halfway finished, either way, incase you want to make any changes.

$ up front - it won't be spent until after completion.

Payments via Paypal, Cash App, or Venmo.

MORE INFORMATION:

If you do decide to commission me, first of all, thank you sooo much in advance! And Please keep in mind, that there is a vanilla family member currently holding and running all of the financial service apps (Paypal, Venmo, Cash App.) They do know that I draw adult content, but they do not know the specifics of what kinds of adult content (& I'd love to keep it that way lol.) So if you do decide to leave a note with your payment, please, please, PLEASE, make sure that the note is appropriate, otherwise blank is also completely fine. Have mercy on my soul, basically. If you are getting some NSFW artwork and wanna talk specifics, please do so with the email provided above (& again right here: [email protected]), Tumblr DMs, Discord, etc. so that you know you are talking to me.

Also, if you contact me & don't get a response right away, my timezone is EST (I could be asleep,) and my life's been a little stressful lately to say the least. But I promise that I will get back to you ASAP. Furthermore, if there are any delays during the process of actually making your commission, I will immediately reach out to you and keep you in the loop. - major shoutouts to my homies, @indulgnc - for helping me figure everything out. He helped me with the base sheet, some common art terms that I somehow didn't know the meanings of, coming up with good prices, & basically walked me through the entire process. I would’ve been way too clueless and way too chicken shit to even attempt this without him.

and @dsnzfb - for allowing me to use a drawing I made of her ocs Cactus & Rose, as one of the examples above. I needed a good example of a colored bust-up, & dye’s color palette for her characters is so gorgeous. thank you guys for always being so supportive - y'all rock. I don't know if I can actually do anything to help dig myself & my family out of the hole we’re in with ocs, & kink art, but goddamn it, I will certainly try. -

#I know this isn't a snz-specific post #don't mind all the tags #snz #snz art #snz blog #snzblr #snz kink #sneezeblr #sneeze art #spiiderart #spiidernsft #spiider comms (new tag?! /j)#i am SO nervous #and i shouldn't be lmao

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vixensbrainrotts · 8 months

Text

Money, honey - Kokonoi Hajime

Content: imagine

Tropes: Tenjiku! Kokonoi, established relationship, neither Inui siblings exist for sake of convenience (or else there would be immense plot-holes but this is a fanfic so it doesn’t really matter)

Summary: you and Kokonoi having been put in a forced marriage at a young age and being okay with it. Both of you have seen and felt the positive impact you both make not only on your bank accounts but also on each other. yes the relationship you both share is more based on convenience, but he is your husband after all. So when during a Tenjiku meeting he is asked about the single diamond-encrusted ring on his finger, he reveals your existence to them. How convenient is it that you're coming to find him right now, too?

Vixens two cents: hi all! This is something that has been rotting away in my drafts for very, very long time, and since I’m on a streak today (3 posts in a day?!) I’ve decided to give this some daylight too. Let me know what you think of this, and remember that REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!! yes, now enjoy the rich and famous!

"Wait Kokonoi, since when do you wear rings?" Rindou asked during a semi-official meeting where his attendance was only half-required. At that question Kokonoi’s faces into an uncharacteristically warm smile, his eyes softening as he said “I’ve always worn this ring, you must have failed to notice it prior..” his voice drifts off dreamily as he started at the diamond encrusted jewelry. Completely bewildered Rindou started to back away from the Financier, making a straight backwards lunge towards his brother.

“Ran.” Rindou nearly whisper-shouted, his voice cracking unattractively, fierce stare still fixed on the suspicious acting Koko. Slightly annoyed due to being interrupted, Ran sighs and turns to face Rindou “What could you possibly wa-“ “fucking emergency. Kokonoi has lost it. He’s gone. Fucking depleted. Only good for the loony bin.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Ran questioned, excusing himself from the prior conversation before turning back to his brother. “Look, look. Over there. See that? The way he’s staring at that ring, which might I add I have never seen before?!” Rindou points at the male in question, prompting Ran’s eyes to follow the accusatory finger. And lo and behold, Rindou wasn’t lying. Both the expression and the jewelry Kokonoi wore looked awfully foreign, so soft that it made Ran’s skin crawl in disgust. “What the fuck.” Ran mumbled.

Both Haitanis were fixated on Kokonoi, eyes wide as saucers, hectically darting from his hand to his face and back down to the ring… The softness of his face- his normally cold eyes especially- was a spectacle incomparable to anything that they had ever seen. The brothers share a look, both of their mouths hanging open. „We have to clear this shit up.“ Rindou states and Ran nods in silent response, grabbing his brothers arm, tugging the both of them closer to Kokonoi.

„Hey Koko.“ Ran states, voice coming out slightly more strained than he would have liked. „What’s- whats good?“ Kokonoi didn’t spare them a glance when they approached, keeping his eyes transfixed on the ring on his finger. In desperation, the borthers‘s eyes meet once again, clearly helpless in this situation as they tried to figure out what the hell was going on.

„What do you need from me now, hmm?“ Kokonoi‘s voice was still sickly sweet as he spoke, clearly influenced by the glittering gems in the ring. „Well..“ Ran starts again, a little unsure how to phrase the question lingering on his mind. „So that ring…“ Rindou tries this time. „What about it?“ Kokonoi quips.

It takes everything for Ran to choke out the question, and he thinks this might be the most uncomfortable situation he's ever been in.„Does it have any greater significance?“

The Haitani‘s pathetic try at interviewing the financier were interrupted by a smooth, honeylike voice„Haji?“. Crips and clean it cut through the air, ringing uncharacteristically high in comparison to the low huffs and grunts the Tenjiku hideout normally hears from it's members. The brothers barely have time to register the call before they notice the way that Kokonoi‘s head snaps up, his eyes wide and loving upon hearing the noise.

The hand he was previously so enthralled in drops, falling limply at his side as he focuses on the owner of the voice instead. „Yes?“ his voice is meek and soft when he speaks, lacking the sharp, silver-tongued edge it normally has and rather mirroring the call.

Finally, the brothers turn to look at the voice. As if the world had slowed down around them, their heads turned and met sight with something magical. A woman.

She was coming their way, slowly, confidently taking long strides, the long, open Trench-coat flowing smartly behind you, an invisible wind causing it to billow majestically with every step. The rhythmic click click click of your heels against the floor seemed to hypnotize as neither of them could peel their eyes away.

When they realised that you were coming their way, they scrambled to seem put together. Ran hastily pulled a hand over his hair, haphazardly smoothing down any flyaways, and Rindou straightens his uniform gloves and pushes his glasses up on his nose, forcing his eyes to be sleepy (he thinks it looks sexy).

Once you reach the three though, you dont spare either of them a moment of your time, passing them curtly and walking straight on towards Kokonoi. He in response opened his arms invitingly for you, which you took- giving him a quick side hug and a kiss on the cheek before pulling away and straightening yourself.

Both Haitanis clearly deflated at the display of affection and shared a glance. Whilst this answered some questions the brothers had, a million new ones took their place and zoomed around their brains hectically. Ran (still a little hopeful that perhaps you’re just Kokonoi’s long lost sister) opened his mouth, about to ask of your whereabouts and why you’re here (and what your connection to the financier is but he wouldn’t have asked even if he could).

You beat him to it though. “They want us both to be present during the board meeting, which I find ridiculous, but they specifically reached out to my agent to request both of our presences.” Your hands came up to his uniform as you spoke, smoothing out the collar and brushing off non-existent dust.

Kokonoi’s eyes furrowed in confusion and he looked down as you, one arm still wrapped around your wait loosely, keeping you pulled to his side. “What, aren’t you enough? I think I’d anything at all they should be happy it’s you and not me sitting there. Why’d they want both of us?”

The Haitani brothers watched you discuss as if they were watching a tennis match, eyes flipping left and right to follow the leader of the conversation, only to return back to the other to hear the response. They didn’t have the slightest idea what this was about, but they were oddly intrigued by your very adult-sounding problems.

“Something about co-ownership of our shared title in the board. Not sure why they couldn’t just get a different ambassador to act as triangulation if only one of us would come, but I suppose it’s because of some type of marital regulations that have to be followed.” Your left hand ended up resting on his collarbone, and shiny, glittering jewelry that embezzled your hand glinted in the overhead lights. One item in particular caught the eye upon closer inspection.

The ring.

The same ring that Kokonoi wore sat pretty on your left hand, the white-gold band mirroring his perfectly.

The brothers noticed. They noticed and shared a sullen, rather beat moment of eye contact, grieving the things that could have been. Rindou is shameless enough to butt into your important sounding conversation. “Wait hold on so you’re married?”

You both halted your conversation and turned your heads to face him before turning back to each other. “They don’t know?” You ask Hajime with slightly wide eyes, a voice just above a whisper. He looks back at you, eyes just as wide as he shrugs and whispers back: “No I haven’t told them, sorry sweetheart I hadn’t figured that they’d ever meet you.”

You look at him with an incredulous look, nodding slowly. “Right…” moments of awkward staring passed before both of you sighed. „You or me?“ Kokonoi asked you in a brief whisper, and you whispered back: „You, i did it last time.“

Kokonoi groaned, seemingly remembering the aforementioned ‚last time‘. The brothers shared another look, but chose to remain quiet, silently bidding for him to speak. „We’re bound by a contract strictly immersed in the world of business. What brought us together was a marriage of convenience and mutual agreement of such circumstances. Originally, we were arranged to stay solely engaged, but as we prospered together as an item, we both started seeing the benefits that came not only financially, but also in terms of time management and simple, casual things. So, individually we decided to make it a permanent, and we’re please try surprised by each others willingness to bind ourselves to this contract for life.“

Kokonoi’s voice sounded calm, almost rehearsed, but that was probably due to the frequency of how often both of you probably had to explain this. Despite the monotone nature of the words, his voice still sounded sincere, if not almost sweet at times, as he glanced at you every so often, eyes lighting up for a split second.

Something within the brothers stirred, something unbelievable. They for some reason didn’t doubt the nature and seemingly effortless chemistry between the two of you, and they couldn’t lie and say they didn’t see the way you two looked at one another. It was a complete picture, a stark contrast to the usually silver-tongued, quick-witted, highly calculated individual they knew Kokonoi to be.

No, this Kokonoi was unknown to them. This Kokonoi had a stable relationship- a wife. This Kokonoi has stars in his eyes as he watched you confirm what he said, adding details about how the two of you met. This Kokonoi held your waist softly and squeezed once, twice to remind you of the time, and why you were here in the first place. This Kokonoi whispered to you softly underneath his breath, prompting you to nod and give the Haitani‘s both a quick handshake and a goodbye before turning around in Koko‘s arm and allowing him to drag you off towards the exit.

Rindou took off his glasses and said a quick prayer, hoping that perhaps some day he could be hit with the same stroke of luck that Kokonoi had, and Ran watched as the two of you passed Kakucho, who seemed acquainted with you, and nodded as you exchanged a quick few words, presumably excusing your absence.

Both Haitani’s could tell that the debrief session after this would be juicy, and that they had to get to know you closer. Perhaps you could tag along to the next upper echelon meeting Tenjiku was hosting.

#tokyo rev x reader #tokyo revengers #x reader #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo rev x you #tr kokonoi #tokyorev kokonoi #kokonoi x you #kokonoi x reader #tokyo revengers kokonoi #kokonoi hajime #tokrev #tr content #tokyo manji revengers #tr headcanons #tokyo rev #tokyo revengers fluff

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clarisse0o · 15 days

Text

Camp Wiegman-Part 62

Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle

Alternative Universe : Military School

Words : 5K

Masterlist

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Friday, February 26; 9:00 AM - Zoo.

"Come on, hurry up," my brother urges next to the car.

"Joan," I tease. "Stop it, please, and stay here."

"If you don't listen, we'll turn back," Lucy scolds him.

That threat earns a grumpy response from my brother. He turns his back on us, crossing his arms. I smile, keeping an eye on him in case he seriously considers walking away. Meanwhile, Lucy grabs our backpack, which we prepared last night while Joan was already asleep. Since we couldn't go yesterday, we rescheduled the zoo for today. Joan was over the moon once he figured it out. We didn’t talk about it at all yesterday. We were too busy. We ended up at a small fair with our friends after visiting the local market. My brother had completely forgotten about the zoo because of that, and in the evening, when he asked, we pretended we weren't going anymore to surprise him. It worked quite well. He's very excited now. I hope today will be better than the fair. We came home late, in the late afternoon. We offered to have our friends stay for the evening, but they politely declined, likely feeling awkward about being invited again. Perhaps it was for the best. Joan was so exhausted that he fell asleep right after dinner. We managed to get him to sleep in the guest room thanks to that. Sure, he woke up at the crack of dawn this morning and squeezed in between us, but we couldn't hold it against him. At least we almost got an entire night to ourselves. Joan sulked all morning, but it seems like his bad mood has vanished. Now he’s beaming with anticipation.

"Alright, we’re good to go," Lucy announces, shutting the trunk.

Joan spins around excitedly at the news. His smile brightens, and he looks at me, waiting for my go-ahead.

"Go ahead, but stay in front of us, okay? I don't want to lose you in the crowd."

He nods and takes the lead. I smile, following him with my hand in Lucy's. Lucy sighs softly, probably relieved that we’ve finally arrived. Joan was unbearable the whole ride. I've seen him impatient before, but never like this. It felt like he was deliberately trying to annoy Lucy, and he succeeded. I had to keep him entertained, or else Lucy would have lost her mind.

"I hope today goes smoothly," she says.

"There’s no reason it shouldn’t. Though, there are more people here than I expected," I remark. "I didn't think it’d be this busy."

"It's Friday, the last day of school vacation before the weekend. Of course, it’s packed," Lucy replies. "At least the weather is warming up a bit. It’ll be more pleasant."

I nod. It’s still a bit chilly, but unlike what one of Lucy’s neighbors told us earlier this week, the icy wind has finally died down. The snow has also melted, and in a few weeks, the temperature should finally rise. I can’t wait for that. In Barcelona, we rarely experience bad weather, if ever. It’s the complete opposite here. It’ll be tough at first, but I think I can get used to it. There are perks to the snow and cold. First, you can have fun in different ways, and with the cold, you get way more cuddles. Not that we don’t cuddle in Barcelona, but it’s much more enjoyable here, under a blanket. We reach the ticket booths. We wait a bit before it’s our turn. I handle the tickets, not giving Lucy a chance to argue. It’s about time she lets me contribute financially, even though I’m not working yet.

"I could have paid," she says once we pass the security gates.

"No," I reply cheerfully.

"Yes."

"No, and that’s the end of it. Today, it’s on me."

She rolls her eyes with a small smile before Joan reminds us of his presence by tugging on my jacket sleeve.

"Come on, Ona! We need to keep moving!"

"The animals aren’t going anywhere, you know," I say with a small laugh. "Come on, give me your hand. There are a lot of people here."

"I'm not a little kid anymore," she complains.

"That’s not the point. I just said there’s a crowd, and I don’t want to lose you."

I accompany my words with a stern look. He’s been arguing nonstop since we got here, and I’m starting to lose patience. He sighs and eventually gives me his hand. In the meantime, I turn toward Lucy, but I notice she’s no longer beside me. A brief moment of panic sets in until I spot her at a nearby map stand. I sigh in relief before dragging us over to her.

"Hey, if I tell Joan to give me his hand so I don’t lose him, it’s not an excuse for you to run off."

She laughs softly, leaning her head toward me.

"Sorry. I saw the maps and thought they might be useful."

"Haven’t you done the zoo before?" I ask, surprised.

"No. It’s a first for both of us," she says with a little smile.

I return her smile. She finally takes a map and stops when she sees my hand extended toward her. She laughs but takes it without protest.

"Alright, let’s go."

"What should we start with?" Joan asks, looking around with excitement gleaming in his eyes.

"Well, let’s check the map."

As I speak, Lucy unfolds the map. Everything is super organized. They’ve laid it out by zones based on the animals’ origins. My attention lingers on the penguins. Knowing Joan, that’s what he’ll enjoy the most.

"I’d save that for last," I say, pointing to that part of the map.

"Okay, well, let’s start here then," she points to the opposite direction.

"Should we join a tour group?" I ask, noticing one gathering beside us with a guide.

"No, that’s boring," my brother groans.

"Looks like you’ve got your answer," Lucy says.

"Alright, alright," I reply with amusement. "Just us, then."

"Can we start with the lions?" he asks.

"That’s actually over that way. Let’s go."

We move forward through the crowd to start with the African animals. Joan might be excited, but so am I. I love these kinds of outings, just the three of us. I also love animals. We linger at some exhibits and pass by others more quickly. It’s our first time here, but the layout is really well done. I’m sure we’ll come back, just Lucy and me. The zoo is organized like small villages at various points along the path. They’re often animated by staff, and they even offer activities in certain spots. We managed to get Joan to participate in one of them. He didn’t really want to at first, but in the end, he seemed to enjoy it. Then, we had the chance to feed the zebras. We were lucky to arrive at the right time. That was definitely Joan’s favorite part. Of course, the activity was supervised by staff, but they weren’t obligated to involve the visitors. The African section ends with the lions, which he kept talking about the entire time, even after all the things he got to do. I mentally note that my brother is becoming more and more spoiled and that I need to talk to our mom about it. I’m not the one responsible for his upbringing, but it’d be good for her to keep an eye on this not-so-pleasant change.

"What’s the next section?" I take advantage of my brother’s distraction to ask Lucy.

"The Asian animals. Then the Australian ones. But I think it’d be a good idea to grab lunch before that since we’ll be near a restaurant."

"Okay, that works for me," I reply with a smile.

We’ve been walking for two hours now, so that sounds like a good idea. By the time we finish the next section, I imagine we’ll be ready for lunch just before noon. It seems less busy than the one we just completed, according to the map. That’s good news, considering the crowd around us. Lucy was right earlier. The weather is mild, and it’s the end of vacation, so people are making the most of it. We’ll have to consider these factors next time if we want a more peaceful visit. Lucy kisses me and then wraps her arm around my shoulders. I keep an eye on my brother, who’s been ahead of us for a while now. He’s captivated by the lions. He’s holding onto the railing, looking down as if he never wants to leave this spot. Unfortunately, I have to burst his bubble if we want to see everything.

"Come on, Jo, let’s go."

"A little longer, please," she pleads, pouting.

"No, we’re moving on," Lucy jumps in. "Otherwise, you won’t be able to see everything. There are other animals like leopards and jaguars."

"Tigers too?" she asks excitedly.

"Of course. We’re getting to them soon, but we need to keep moving. »

Finally, without further resistance, he complied. He walked ahead of us. From the start, he had been negotiating to stop holding my hand. It must have been torture for her to see the other children running around while he couldn't. I agreed on the condition that he stayed in front, didn't run, and didn't stray too far. I also didn’t want to spend my day holding his back. So far, he had respected my terms, which was a first since this morning. Lucy had gotten so fed up with his behavior in certain situations that she left him to me to handle. She was probably right. I had noticed that the more Lucy got involved, the worse his behavior became. I imagine it will take some time for him to adjust to having someone else in my life. After all, he had never really seen me with anyone before. When I was with Mapi, he was too young to remember, which was for the best. He would probably have made a fuss about us no longer being together, given how much he adores my best friend.

With these thoughts in mind, we continued along, taking our time to observe everything. The scenery was beautiful, a peaceful place where you almost forget the disrespectful kids shouting everywhere. Almost. Lucy might complain, but at least we didn't have to deal with that with my brother. As someone who dislikes drawing attention, I appreciated this.

Finally, it was time to eat. As planned, we arrived just before noon. There was a bit of a wait, but not as bad as it could have been.

“I’m not hungry,” my brother mumbled. “Do we have to stop?”

“Yes,” I replied. “You’re not alone, and knowing you, you'll be hungry as soon as we leave.”

“But there’s still so much to see!”

“And we’ll have time to see it all.”

“But—"

“Joan, that’s enough,” my girlfriend interjected with a stern look. “My threat from this morning still stands.”

“Oh, stop. He’s been good all morning.”

Lucy raised an eyebrow at me, and I pressed my lips together. Last night, she’d told me it would be a good idea to support her when she said something to Joan, to avoid making her look like the bad guy. Admittedly, apart from a few grumpy remarks, which I had managed so far, Joan had behaved well this morning. My girlfriend sighed softly and turned back to Joan.

“We’re eating now. If you’re not hungry, you don’t have to eat, but don’t complain later.”

In response, my brother groaned, crossing his arms and puffing out his cheeks. It seemed like his favorite thing to do since he arrived, and it was pretty funny to watch.

“Come on, move along,” I guided him with a hand on his head as we advanced in line.

“But I’m really not hungry,” he insisted, looking up at me. “My stomach hurts,” he added, rubbing his belly.

“Really?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

He nodded, eyes filling with tears. I sighed and glanced at Lucy, who shrugged. I knew she was aware, just like me, that this was probably a lie.

“Well, I suppose you can take some medicine beforehand. We brought those dissolvable sachets, just in case.”

In reality, we only had tablets. I would have crushed one if she truly needed it, as he can’t swallow them whole. It’s not like I don’t know how to do that. I also knew he hated it, which was clear when he grimaced at the idea.

“No!” he whined.

“Well, what? You’re feeling unwell, aren’t you?”

“I-I think I feel better now.”

A small laugh escaped me. I shook my head. So the negotiations were working after all. Lucy wasn’t wrong to have me handle this. It seemed effective. We finally reached the buffet, which reminded me a lot of a school cafeteria. I grabbed a tray for Joan and myself, while Lucy took care of hers. We helped ourselves to the food. Lucy and I got chicken cutlets with fries and a green salad, while Joan chose spaghetti Bolognese. For dessert, we picked cookies. I think I also slipped a few snacks into the bag in case we got hungry later. We finished with drinks—iced tea for Joan and me, and water for Lucy. Once everything was ready, I paid, and we found a table. The place was somewhat crowded but not so much that we had to wait for a table to free up.

The meal passed peacefully, with Joan chattering nonstop. It was the first time he’d talked so much, so we let him. He had just started his first year of primary school, and since I no longer lived at home, the change was pretty drastic. Not just in personality, but intellectually as well. This morning, he had fun reading all the signs to me, showing that he could read now.

“And then Paul got a new dog. It’s so cute! I wanted to go to his house to see it, but Mom wouldn’t let me.”

“Really?”

“Mm-hmm,” she nodded with her mouth full. “I wanted to have a sleepover, but we already had plans that day.”

“I see,” I chuckled. “Maybe next time.”

“When are you guys going to get a dog?”

Lucy, who had been silent until now, nearly choked. I stifled a laugh. That question caught me off guard too. I’d forgotten how unfiltered Joan could be. If anything, he talks more now than before.

“Why do you think we’d get a dog?” I asked, once I composed myself.

“Well, I already asked Mom, but she said no. So now I’m asking you guys. It’d be great! I could take care of it when I visit.”

This time, I laughed out loud. It wasn’t like he would be spending half the year with us. Besides, knowing him, even if we had a dog, he wouldn’t actually take care of it when he was here.

“We’re not getting a dog, Jo, I’m sorry.”

“But why?” she pouted.

“Well, we’re hardly ever home right now. It just wouldn’t work.”

"Home." The word slipped out before I realized it. It didn’t seem to bother Lucy, though, as she kept watching us with a faint smile. I cleared my throat and continued, giving a more realistic explanation that Joan could understand.

“Don’t you think a dog would be miserable, locked up in an apartment all alone? And dogs require care, which we wouldn’t be around to give since we don’t live in the apartment during the week.”

“Or on weekends when you don’t have leave,” Lucy teased, continuing to eat as if nothing happened.

I stuck my tongue out at her in response. She had said that on purpose. The worst part was that she was the one who enforced this “punishment.” It was funny, though, and I appreciated that she still saw me as the person I was before we got together. It meant she hadn’t labeled our relationship or changed how she viewed me. Now that I think about it, our behavior toward each other hadn’t changed either. Joan’s voice brought my attention back to her.

“But yeah, not now, duh! You could get a dog once you’ve finished school and have a house. You said you love Lucy, so that’s what will happen, right? You could have a dog then, and you wouldn’t even need a baby!”

Lucy burst into laughter—literally. Meanwhile, I died of embarrassment, hiding my flushed face behind my hands. I couldn’t believe he had the nerve to say that in front of my girlfriend. I could feel Lucy’s eyes on me from across the table, but I couldn’t bring myself to look at her. I forced myself to, though, and saw her smiling at me with amusement, clearly expecting me to respond.

“You’re really talking nonsense. We don’t know yet. And who says we won’t have a baby, huh?”

“Well, I’m already here. You don’t need one. And besides, you can’t have one anyway. I’ll just move in with you.”

Once again, Lucy snickered softly. Joan, who seemed very sure of what he was saying, pouted and crossed his arms. I bit my lip to hold back my amusement. He was definitely giving me plenty of stories to remind him of later.

“All that, huh?” I asked.

“Isn’t it a good idea?”

He was sulking. I recognized the tone in his voice when he did that.

“Where did you get all these ideas, huh?”

“Well, my friends say two girls together can’t have a baby.”

I ran a hand through my hair. He must have talked to them about me. I knew he often mentioned me to them, so it wasn’t impossible. Poor thing must have a lot of questions if he’s already discussing this with his friends—or anyone else, for that matter. It must be tough for him to understand everything at his age. I couldn’t wait for him to grow up, if only to understand this better.

“They’re right,” Lucy said. “But there are other ways.”

“That’s true,” I confirmed. “Like adoption, for example.”

I gave him the simplest version of the truth, something he could grasp. Lucy and I hadn’t had the chance to talk about it yet; it was way too early for that. But if I were to give my opinion, adoption wasn’t something I’d want to prioritize. Joan seemed to latch onto the idea instantly, and his reaction caught me off guard.

“Then you can adopt me!”

I rolled my eyes playfully and grabbed a napkin to wipe the tomato sauce covering his face. A few more seconds, and it would have dripped onto his clothes.

“And why would we adopt you, huh? You have a home with two parents. Adoption is for children who don’t have that, you know?”

I can see through his eyes that all the hopes he had thought so much about have evaporated. I don't like seeing that glimmer. I feel bad for him.

“So, you don't want me?”

“We didn’t say that,” Lucy responds. “You can come see us as often as you want, and we’ll visit you in Barcelona too.”

“But… I want to stay with you! You’re way too far from home, and Mom and Dad aren’t around much anyway.”

I give him a sad smile. I know what that’s like, unfortunately. I run my hand through his hair before pulling him into a hug. He lets himself go without any fuss.

“I know, sweetheart, but we can’t do any better. It’s not that we don’t want you, but you can’t just leave home like that. Besides, Lucy and I will probably have another busy year ahead. Even if we wanted to, we couldn’t take you in permanently.”

I think about the opportunity at the Art school for me and the opening of the gym for Lucy. This upcoming year will be just as busy and complicated as this one, if not more. I dread it as much as I’m excited to see what the future holds. I’m still waiting on a phone call, and I’m starting to worry that I haven’t heard back yet. Lucy says it’s normal, and I hope she’s right.

“Hmm… I would have preferred to live with you anyway,” he admits.

I don’t know what’s going on at home, but there’s clearly something wrong. I think I’ll call my mom when I get the chance. If Joan isn’t feeling comfortable there anymore, I need to know so I can get my mom to react. There’s no way I’ll let him go through what I went through. I know how that ends, and if we don’t find the right person to help, things can go very wrong.

“Alright,” Lucy interrupts. “We should finish up quickly if we still want to do everything.”

This news brings a small smile to my brother’s face before he quickly resumes where he left off before our conversation.

“Slow down, please. Otherwise, you’ll really get a stomach ache.”

He nods but doesn’t slow down, which makes Lucy and me laugh as we exchange a glance. She may not have said much at the table, but I know she heard everything. I’ll ask her what she thinks about it all when we’re alone. We finish dessert, then head off to explore another area. Even though Joan claimed he wasn’t hungry, he still ate well. The day goes on, and surprisingly, Joan has become calmer than before, which delights my girlfriend. It’s understandable. As much as he pushes her limits, it’s annoying to have to constantly put him back in his place when we’re supposed to be having a good time. He must have realized that his tantrums don’t work with us. Maybe I should call Sofia as well to see how she reacts to his. Unlike my mom, I don’t doubt Lucy knows how to manage him as I do. It’s just that my mom doesn’t have patience for this sort of thing, so it’s very hard for her to react calmly. She loses her temper rather than defuse the situation.

“Hey,” Lucy calls out after a while. “Stop worrying. It can’t be that bad.”

“I don’t know,” I admit with a small, anxious smile. “We’ll see. I’ll call my mom tonight. I need to know what’s going on.”

She nods understandingly before giving me a soft kiss. Unfortunately, it’s the moment Joan turns around. His new habit is to let out disgusted noises whenever he sees us. But it seems he didn’t hear the rest. We change the subject as we finish this park, which Joan seems particularly fond of. It’s true—it’s very well done. We’ll definitely come back.

Friday, February 26th; 9:00 PM – Lucy’s apartment.

We’re back home. Everything is peaceful. It was six o'clock when we got back. The day was good. We all enjoyed it, especially Joan, who has already showered, eaten, and even gone to bed. He fell asleep in the guest room without even protesting. In fact, he went there on his own with his new penguin plush. We managed to finish the park, and it seems I was right—Joan loved it, and I couldn’t resist buying him a plush when he asked for it. He earned it with how well he behaved in the afternoon. As for Lucy and me, I had just settled on the couch with Netflix on in the background. I had already showered, and Lucy should be joining me soon. I hadn’t heard the water running in the bathroom for about five minutes. Now that everything is calm, I wanted to call my mom. Joan’s behavior wasn’t normal. I knew he had behavioral issues, but now we needed to figure out why. Nothing ever happens for no reason. It seems like everyone’s already forgotten what happened with me. I’m not going to let them forget. Just as I was about to call, an unknown number appeared on my screen. I don’t recognize it, but it seems to be from here, from Manchester. I frown, intrigued by the late call. Could it be Feli? Would she really come here? How would she even know where I am? The thought makes my stomach knot. I inhale slowly, glancing behind me to check if Lucy is around. Not yet. She’s still in the bathroom. After the fifth ring, I force myself to pick up.

“Hello?” I answer cautiously, my voice uncertain.

“Miss Batlle?” a voice asks.

“Yes...?”

“Hello, this is Bennett Fields! I’m sorry to call so late. I lost track of time,” he says with a small laugh. “Am I disturbing you?”

Bennett Fields, Bennett Fields... Oh! He’s the gallery director. I immediately sit up straighter on the couch, as if he could see me from afar.

“No, no! I’m at home,” I tell him.

“Good.”

If he were in front of me, I’m sure I’d be able to see his smile. It’s amazing how you can read him so well.

“How are you?”

“Well, I’m pretty nervous now that you’re on the line,” I admit, which makes him chuckle. “And you?”

“I’m well, thank you. I apologize for not contacting you sooner. I had a rather busy week. I know I said I would get in touch with the person who sent me your drawings, but I preferred to speak with you directly.”

“No problem.”

In any case, I would’ve gotten the answer tonight since the other person is also in this apartment. I now understand why he asked for my number at the end of our meeting. He seems to like dealing with people directly, which is completely normal.

“I’m calling to follow up on our meeting.”

“I figured,” I reply with amusement.

I like the way we talk. I should be stressed, but he puts me at ease. His laugh is contagious.

“You impressed me a lot, Ona. Certainly not by your lack of experience, but by your undeniable talent.”

Blushing, I feel flattered to hear that from a professional.

“So, here’s the thing. I have a proposal for you. Of course, as we discussed, it would mean going back to school. Are you still okay with that?”

“Of course!”

We haven’t discussed next year much with Lucy yet, but we both kind of know what to expect.

“Good. However, the offer wouldn’t be for the Manchester gallery…”

“What do you mean?” I ask, feeling a bit worried.

“Well, here’s the thing. My gallery is expanding. I’m developing new locations in the region. I’m about to open one in Cardiff, and I’m putting together a team. I think you’d be a great fit there, under the direction of my new manager.”

Cardiff? The news leaves me speechless. What should I say to that? I definitely can’t accept such an offer on the spot. My lack of response prompts him to speak.

“I know it’s a big decision to think about. You’ve already traveled a lot, but this would be an excellent opportunity for you.”

“It definitely requires some thought…” I murmur.

“I didn’t expect an immediate answer. I’ll give you time to think it over. Just so you know, there’s also an Art school there, and the program can last two to three years, depending on the student’s choice.”

Two to three years? My vision blurs. There’s no way I’m staying away from Lucy for that long!

“If you’d like, we can schedule another meeting in two weeks. Do you think you could get some time off from school for a weekday meeting?”

“I-I’ll have to check.”

“Well, call me when you know. That way, we can set up a time to meet and talk face-to-face. Can we do that?”

“Yes, we can do that. I’ll call you then.”

“Great! Well, I wish you a good evening. Talk to you soon.”

“Talk to you soon, Mr. Fields.”

I hang up, completely overwhelmed by the conversation. Damn it! I think I’d have preferred if he’d just rejected me rather than making me face such a decision!

“Who was it?”

I jump, not having noticed Lucy’s presence. I turn toward her as she slowly approaches to sit beside me.

“Ona?” she calls gently. “Is everything alright?”

“I think we need to talk…”

Concern flashes across her eyes. Oh yes, she has reason to be worried. If she only knew how I’m feeling inside right now... I almost feel like crying.

#woso #lucy bronze #woso community #ona batlle #barca femeni #lionesses #woso soccer #sefutbol fem #ona batlle x lucy bronze

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