#I’ve been feeling burnt out since Fall of 20-goddamn-22

[strohller27]

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[softpink]

A Year in Spotify: March 2018

March is the worst month of the goddamn year. It’s just a vacuum of grief and loss and hurting. I miss Mike so much, and I’m making progress in coming to terms with it, but holy fucking shit I wish he hadn’t died. That’s all I have to say about this month, I’m happy for it to be over.

50. Store - Carly Rae Jepsen I can't play pretend, wish it hadn't come to this But you know there's some things you can't mend

49. Can’t Hold Us Down - Christina Aguilera Making up a few false rumors or two That for sure is not a man for me, slandering names for popularity It's sad you only get your fame through controversy But now it's time for me to come and give you more to say

48. The City - 1975 Don 't call it a fight when you know it 's a war With nothing but your t-shirt on

47. Discovering the Waterfront - Silverstein Pretend it’s not forever I'll pull myself together, I'll say that I'll forget her, I'll breathe And I'll say she never hurt me, and look at it as learning And laugh about the good and the bad 

46. Getaway Car - Taylor Swift Well he was running after us, I was screaming, "go, go, go" But with three of us, honey, it's a side show And a circus ain't a love story, and now we’re both sorry

45. Fight Test - The Flaming Lips Cause I'm a man not a boy and there are things you can't avoid, You have to face them when you're not prepared to face them

44. Sober - Lorde Midnight, we’re fading Till daylight, we’re jaded We know that it’s over In the morning, you'll be dancing with all the heartache

43. Double Cross - Senses Fail All my pictures have faded over time I burnt the negatives of you

42. Sleeping With a Friend - Neon Trees All my friends stay up past midnight Looking for the thing to fill the void I don't go out much like I used to Something about the strangers and the noise

41. A Song For Ernest Hemingway - The Wonder Years And I heard all about how his plane went down after Christmas in the Congo He read about his own death in the paper, I bet it was freeing to know When you destroy anything worth chasing, there's nowhere left to go

40. A Change of Heart - The 1975 And she said, I've been so worried about you lately You look shit and smell a bit You're mad thinking you could ever save me Not looking like that

39. Hum Hallelujah - Fall Out Boy I love you in the same way there's a chapel in a hospital One foot in your bedroom, and one foot out the door

38. First Letter From St. Sean (Rearranged) - Sorority Noise I am not alive, I didn't mean to leave you when I died I was too scared you might be the one to leave There's so much more to life than the flick of a knife

37. So It Goes... - Taylor Swift Cut me into pieces Gold cage, hostage to my feelings

36. Truffle Butter - Nicki Minaj Your whole style and approach, I invented And I ain't taking that back, cause I meant it

35. I Don’t Fuck With You - Big Sean I swear I hear some new bullshit every day I'm waking up It seems like nowadays everybody breaking up That shit can break you down if you lose a good girl I guess you need a bad bitch to come around and make it up

34. Dress - Taylor Swift I'm spilling wine in the bathtub, you kiss my face and we're both drunk Everyone thinks that they know us, but they know nothing about us

33. Me vs The Highway - The Wonder Years I remember me at eighteen, naked in your parents' basement Young and careless, watching you blow smoke rings And I remember me at eighteen You sat stoic in front me, a portrait of who we'd someday be

32. The Waterboy Returns - Modern Baseball It’s fun to be all talk, but I won't be here forever Rough time to be a lost soul, I'm sure, but we feel the same Death won't bring friends and flowers to your grave

31. You’re Crashing But You’re No Wave - Fall Out Boy Case open, case shut But you could pay to close it like a casket

30. State of Grace - Taylor Swift We are alone, just you and me Up in your room and our slates are clean Just twin fire signs, four blue eyes

29. Writer in the Dark - Lorde Stood on my chest and kept me down Hated hearing my name on the lips of a crowd Did my best to exist just for you

28. I’m Serious I’m Sorry - Jeff Rosenstock I wanted to tell you I know how it feels when The people you love just start disappearing Ashamed that you took their presence for granted But I didn’t want to seem condescending

27. Bonfire - Childish Gambino They told me I was awful man, that shit did not phase me Tell me how I suck again, my memory is hazy

26. She Way Out - The 1975 With a face from a movie scene Or magazine, you know what I mean

25. Don’t Take The Money - Bleachers And I saw your face and hands, colored in sun and then I think I understand

24. The “I” in Lie - Patrick Stump It might’ve felt good for a minute But admit it to yourself it ain’t right When you’re sleeping with your lover But you’re living with your wife

23. Flicker, Fade - Taking Back Sunday So you can go, go, go, if you want to I wouldn't try and stop you I couldn't say I blame you

22. Loverboy - You Me At Six Your past has you in a choke hold But you deserve it from what I've been told

21. A Little Uncanny - Conor Oberst You know old Ronnie Reagan, he was a shoe salesman's son He got himself in the movies, he impressed everyone He fought trial by fire, was America's fate He made a joke of the poor people, and that made him a saint

20. Like a River Runs - Bleachers The summer's gone and I'm alone And I get the feeling that you're somewhere close And I wanna get up, to the rhythm of your wild, to the rhythm of your wild heart It beats, been beating since you've gone

19. Something - Julien Baker I just let the silence swallow me up The ring in my ears, the taste of blood Asking aloud why you're leaving But the pavement won't answer me

18. Blacktop - Julien Baker But I know you're in the pews, the same as stools around the bar And I know I saw your hand when I went out and wrapped my car

17. Treacherous - Taylor Swift And I'll do anything you say, if you say it with your hands And I'd be smart to walk away, but you're quicksand

16. The Way - Ariana Grande You got my heart, don’t know how you did it And I don’t care who sees it babe I don’t wanna hide the way I feel when you're next to me

15. Hard Feelings/Loveless - Lorde When you've outgrown a lover, the whole world knows but you It's time to let go of this endless summer afternoon

14. Cry - Carly Rae Jepsen He never wants to strip down to his feelings He never wants to kiss and close his eyes

13. Jacksonville Skyline - Whiskeytown I was born in an abundance of inherited sadness And fifty cent picture frames bought at a five and dime

12. Go Home - Julien Baker And I haven't been taking my meds Lock all the cabinets, send me to bed Cause I know you're still worried I'm gonna get scared Cause I'm alone again and I don't like the things I see

11. Reckless - You Me At Six Your loose lips let, let words slide You spend too much time talking about my life Stories you will spin just for a power trip It's safe to say that I am not into it

10. All I Need - Radiohead You are all I need I'm in the middle of your picture Lying in the reeds

9. Cutting My Fingers Off - Turnover I never wanted to make you go You might be a stranger now But I just wanted to let you know that I meant what I said

8. Rich as Fuck - Lil Wayne (Will rapping this entire goddamn song on the drive the DC is forever burned into my memory)

7. No Halo (Rearranged) - Sorority Noise The same things that plague you still plaguing me God called you to fulfill a vacancy I tried to see why it wasn't me

6. Sex - The 1975 You and your fit friends anyway I'd take them all out any day They've all got back combs anyway You've all got boyfriends anyway

5. Wild Pack of Family Dogs - Modest Mouse And I’m sitting outside my mud lake, waiting for the pack to take me away And right after I die the dogs start floating up towards the glowing sky

4. Green Light - Lorde But honey I'll be seeing you, wherever I go But honey I'll be seeing you down every road I'm waiting for it, that green light, I want it

3. Everybody Lost Somebody - Bleachers And there's a reason I wake up alone in strange places A reason I see myself in a million faces A reason I can't stop it all from changing So come on, motherfucker, you survived, you gotta give yourself a break

2. Supercut - Lorde In my head, I do everything right When you call, I'll forgive and not fight Because ours are the moments I play in the dark We were wild and fluorescent, come home to my heart

1. Drummer Boy - MisterWives Never want to wake up next to anybody else Never in my life did I want to hear the wedding bells You make me believe in something I claimed untrue Set my fears on fire, like a phoenix I am new With you, I am new every scar fades away, less existent with each day they fade away

[sharethisgemwithme]

“Gem Heist” instant reaction

[Written on January 10. I was blind to this episode and the last three episodes of the Bomb, with the exception of tiny leaks and Youtube screenshots. Comments related to those spoilers are footnotes, marked with [#].]

Previously: The gems have traveled across unknown light-years to reach The Zoo. And yet tonight's episode is not "The Zoo", that's still one more down the road. Tonight, the gems are meant to pull off a daring heist. So my first level guess is "They get to Greg, and try to break him out. It goes poorly." Given that this was allegedly Pink's zoo, I'm curious who is running it now, since Pink didn't seem to have any other planets under her domain (and thus, presumably, didn't have a vast supply of subordinates). I expect a lot of Amethyst shape-shifting, especially to try to fit in, and Pearl (maybe begrudgingly) returning to her servant ways. Not really sure what Garnet's gonna do [3], but Steven... well, Steven's gonna pull out the shield at some point, and everyone's gonna pull a big ol' WTF. Not unlike "The Return", perhaps. Come to think of it, Lion was not brought along, and I'm pretty sure that means the sword has also been left behind. NOT SMART. Then again, perhaps it's still in Connie's possession, and @silverliveblogsthings had a decent point in his "Distortion" liveblog that first Connie and then later Lapis and Peridot were visibly told to protect Beach City / the Earth while GAP and Steven were gone, and that, if we're gonna see that done twice, it HAS to come back up by the end of the arc. So I'm thinking that could be either Homeworld beating our four back to Earth, or a joke shot of Peridot protecting us from some hilarious non-threat by way of her drones or something like that. OK, I've thought long enough about this. Let's watch this episode already.

I’m watching straight through with no pauses or rewinds; the clock starts as close to “We!” as possible.

0:00 - We ARE THE CRYSTAL GEMS. 0:22 - We in space. Didn't catch who's boarding. 0:34 - Open sesame. 0:45 - More gems. Amethysts! 0:53 - Amethyst, time for you to get big. 1:06 - Well there we go. 1:13 - Let's just "play it cool". 1:20 - Pearl OK with being a pearl for a bit. 1:35 - Wow, she doesn't know any other Amethysts. 1:51 - "No." Oh crap. 2:14 - The human zoo? So are there humans from elsewhere? 2:32 - Who is this? Huh? 2:47 - Ah. Holly. 2:59 - "Your clarity"? That's a strange title. 3:22 - They speak "English" but they don't really understand it? 3:46 - Ah, appealing to her desire to show off. 3:59 - See you later, Amethyst. 4:12 - Oh, she's hella embarrassed. 4:22 - Ah, she's an agate. 4:30 - So basically, Era 2 started with the fall of Earth. 4:55 - Future vision jokes. "That will be all." Title drop for a future episode. 5:14 - So are there humans who have spent hundreds of generations here? Christ, that's horrible. 5:36 - FUCK THAT. "Merciful and forgiving" MY ASS. 5:58 - Theories on language, please? 6:20 - "Explosion"? That's a useful distraction. Not really. 6:44 - Rubies. They're fucking dumb. 6:53 - Five minutes. There's only four left in the episode, so HURRY IT UP. 7:16 - Stop yelling, start acting! 7:35 - Not good. 7:44 - "Pearl, you're a hacker." Nice. 7:55 - She burnt herself out pretty quickly. 8:15 - Well that didn't work. 8:39 - Oh goody, Blue is back. 8:52 - What's with your teeth, darker Amy? 9:15 - Welp. That's not good. Have fun by yourself, Steve-o. 9:37 - Oh hey, an eye like in episode 2. 9:52 - And a bunch of Peri-fingers. 10:01 - LET STEVEN HAVE HIS FLIP-FLOPS. 10:08 - Ah.... you've got a really visible gem there. That's not good. 10:27 - Well, it's not visible anymore, I guess. 10:40 - STOP TEMPTING FATE, YA IDIOT. 11:01 - Welp, here we are. 11:06 - This looks like Mask Island. 11:14 - And Greg's made some friends.

INSTANT REACTION - Well, my horrifying thought was true: There are humans who were born here. And if it's been millenia since there's been a drop-off, that means dozens of generations have been born, lived, mated, and died in this zoo. Jesus Christ. I'm still wondering about species from other conquered worlds. Do they have their own zoos? Are humans the first species whose world was taken by gemkind? It's nice to think we could've changed fate, but Sapphire was right the whole time: this plan was doomed. Not that it was ever a good plan, or even... an actual plan, but it was amusing to see Sapphire basically give the Lapis line of "This plan sucks." That said, we did get everyone doing "what they were meant to do", with Sapphire giving orders, Pearl taking them, Ruby being a hothead, and Amethyst being big. I didn't quite catch the whole idea of the big pink door (was that the way out of the zoo?), just that it wasn't gonna open. So it looks like now we're gonna get an episode for Steven, Greg, and possibly a bunch more humans, to break out of the Zoo and re-unite with the rest of the gang, and then an episode to confront the Homeworld gems. That's gonna be a madcap 22 minutes.

CREDIT NOTES - Of course Michaela is also the Amethyst Guards. Christine Pedi (who has been in a few Broadway productions, has performed in several Forbidden Broadway revues as a caricaturist, and who hosts a radio talk show about Broadway) appears as Holly Blue Agate [4].

SECOND WATCH THOUGHTS: Ah, it was another Hilary & Lauren episode. They haven't had back-to-back episodes... since... uh (checks my chart) ever. Michaela really sounds like she's doing her best Kimberly Brooks impersonation as the guards. So the zoo station "houses and staffs the otherwise-useless Quartzes" from "what was her colony". So did Jasper spend time here? I doubt it, since this is very blue-toned, and Jasper had moved into the control of Yellow Diamond. And seeming confirmation that Earth was Pink's only planet, since "colony" was singular there. I feel like at the end of this arc, we're not going to be rid of any of the Diamonds--they're too powerful to knock one off mid-season--but I get the strong feeling Pearl is going to dispatch Holly and have a big fuckin' smile on her face when she pulls out her spear to do it (perhaps a callback to "I AM A PEARL!") Dammit, Ruby, Holly was JUST ABOUT to tell us about the time when the service door was used and you had to start going off about explosions. "We do not run OR SHOUT IN THESE HALLWAYS", says Holly in her quietest tone of voice ever.

[3] - OK, I'm fairly certain I saw a Youtube screencap of Ruby and Sapphire that I did not recognize, so, well, presumably that. But how and to what end I don't know. And I wouldn't have automatically thought that was coming if not for the spoiler. [4] - And because I am a goddamn idiot who's all "hey let's look at her IMDB", I've discovered that she has future credits. I mean, that's not surprising, but...