#I am TRYING to take my life by the horns and make things happen but

[jamdoughnutmagician]

A Slice Of Life (Waitress AU) part 6

Doctor!Steve Harrington x Waitress!Reader

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Word Count:2,208

*dividers by @saradika-graphics

Masterlist // Steve Harrington Masterlist

“Steve, what on earth are you doing here?” you whisper-shout as you round his table.

“I heard this was a great place to get some pie.” he says with a smile. “Plus I came to see you, I can’t stop thinking about you, Y/N”

“You can’t be visiting me at work like this, doesn’t this go against our keeping things low-profile agreement.”

“I don’t care about that, I know how I feel about you, and I’m not ashamed of that. I like you a lot, Y/N, and sometimes I think you think like me too, and I want to be the one to make you happy.” he says sincerely.

“It’s not that simple, Steve. Yes I like you, of course I do, but all of it doesn’t matter when I’ve got Billy breathing down my neck and watching my every move. He’d wring my neck if he even saw us talking together right now.”

“I know this whole situation is completely crazy, and not ideal, and hell, I’ve only known you a few short months, but you’ve worked your way into my heart.”

“Steve..”

“I’ll wait for you, however long that may be, I’ll wait for you. You’re worth waiting for.”

You fight against the tears welling up in your eyes at how patiently sweet and loving that this man was to you, your heart pounding against your chest.

You wipe your tears with the back of your hand quickly, turning away, before turning to Robin on your way.

“Uh, Rob, can you serve table 7 for me please, I need to run to the back for something.”

“Sure, is everything okay?” she asks, laying a reassuring hand on your shoulder.

“I’m fine, honest I am, thanks” and with that you were rushing to the bathroom, slamming the door behind you with a shaky breath and tears bubbling in your eyes.

Why was nothing simple?

You dry your eyes, and pull yourself together in the bathroom mirror enough to go back out into the diner, and when you look out you find the seat in which Steve was sitting bare. Robin tidying away after him.

“Hey, Y/n, that customer I just served, he sure did leave a generous tip.” she smiled as she wiped down the table with a cloth.

“That’s-uh- that’s really good, Rob, you deserve it.” 

The day had felt long and tiring as you sit down with a sigh next to Nancy on the bench outside the diner.

“You waiting on Billy to pick you up?” 

“Yeah” you say quietly.

There’s a beat of silence between you two before Nancy speaks again.

“You know, you’re a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for. That’s the thing that I have always admired about you, you come into work every day with a bright smile on your face, even though that terrible man is waiting for you at home.”

“I guess being here, making pies and making people happy with the pies that I make is the only time I get to escape from being Billy’s wife. We were so young we got together, and I was too dumb to realise that being Mrs. Hargrove wasn’t all that I thought it was going to be. I've been with him for so long that somewhere down the line I forgot what it was like to just be myself.” you huff, wringing your hands together in your lap. “Not Billy’s wife, not Mrs. Hargrove, just Y/n.”

“Well, you know what? Just Y/N happens to be one of my best friends, and I’m so glad that I get to exist in a world with you in it.” she smiles. “And I’m sure as hell this baby is going to have one of the best mothers that they could ever want for.”

Just as you were settling into the warmth of Nancy’s kind words you’re brought out of it by the blaring horn coming from Billy’s car as it cruised to a stop in front of you.

“Alright, well I’ll see you on Friday Nance, I love you.” you give her a final hug before getting up.

“I love you too darling, take care of yourself.”

 You close your eyes as best you can, desperately trying to fall asleep and ignore Billy’s presence in the bed beside you, but that proved to be an impossibility as his form leered over your shoulder, placing a trail of kisses to your shoulder.

“Babe, I know you’re awake, why don’t you come a little closer and treat me how a good wife treats her husband, huh?” He says in that way he does when he’s trying to get what he wants from you. It makes your skin crawl.

“I don’t feel like it.” you mutter, burying yourself deeper under the covers of the duvet in the hopes that somehow the world would just disappear around you.

“What makes you think you have that option, hmm?” his hand traces up your arm, and it’s all you can do to close your eyes as he leans close, his voice in  your ear. “I feed you, I pay for the roof over our heads, I put clothes on your back, c’mon all you gotta do is reach behind and give me a little hand-job or something? I ain’t askin’ for the world, sweetcheeks,”

“Billy, please, I’m really tired. I just want to sleep.”

“Fine, if you’re not going to look after me, I guess I’m just going to have to take matters into my own hands.” he grumbles, before getting out of bed and making his way to the bathroom. “I’m gonna go have a shower and jerk off since you wanna be a bitch about it.” 

The bathroom door closes behind him and you suddenly let go of a breath that you didn’t even know you were holding on to. A relief washes over you, finally a chance at peace. You snuggle down into the sheets, laying a protective hand settling around your growing bump.

Dear Baby, I hope someday someone wants to hold you for twenty minutes straight, and that’s all they do. Without any expectations, hope or agenda, and they don’t pull away. All they do is wrap you up in their arms and hold on to you tight without an ounce of selfishness to it.

Steve had texted you, apologising for showing up to the diner unannounced, asking you for the chance to make it up to you. You told him that it was fine, that his apology wasn’t necessary but he still insisted so, you told him to come to your house at 8.00 am sharp, but to stay behind the cover of the trees on the opposite street, watching out for Billy as he took off for work for the day.

Pregnant, affair with your doctor, lying to your husband pie. Chopped walnuts and pecans, lumpy oatmeal with raisins instead of chocolate chips thrown in for good measure, flambé, of course..

At 8 am sharp there’s a knock on your door, and you can’t help the excited buzz you feel settling its place in your heart. You pad your way towards your front door, waddling slightly as you walk, the past few weeks in your pregnancy had suddenly made the easy, everyday things very difficult and tiresome. Your belly was now rounding out in front of you very prominently, there was certainly no hiding the fact that you were pregnant now.

“Hey, I just wanted to apologise for upsetting you last week, I didn’t mean to just show up to the diner unannounced like that, but I was driving past and before I knew it I was pulling up just to come and see you.”

He’s dressed in a simple and soft navy henley shirt, and pair of light-wash denim jeans, his hair flounces in a perfectly messy style that on anyone else would have looked unkempt, but he carries it off so effortlessly. As you bring him in for a hug, his warm and woodsy scent fills your senses, wishing he would hold you for just a bit longer, if only to be surrounded in his welcoming warmth.

“That’s really sweet of you, Steve. Why don’t you come in?” you say, standing back and opening the door for him to come through. “Billy’s gone for the day, and I’m off work, so I was going to spend my day trial-running a couple of new pie flavours, you wanna join me?”

“I would love nothing more.” he smiles in that glorious way that he always does, pink lips curving into rose-tinted cheeks.

You set out all your ingredients and mixing bowls on the kitchen’s work table, before reaching for your apron that hangs on the hook of the kitchen’s door.

“Here, let me.” Steve says as he takes the apron from your hands, and pulls it over your head. The material clinging to your belly. “Turn around for me.” and as you turn around, you feel his strong hands tying off the strings of the apron in a neat little bow at your back.

You bring out the pastry you had already made from the fridge before handing it over to Steve.

“Here, do me a favour, sprinkle some flour down and roll this out for me please.”

He does as you ask, dusting the worktop in flour before placing down the pastry and rolling the rolling pin over it.

“How’s this?” he smiles looking at you from over his shoulder where you are mixing together the filling for the pie on the stovetop. A slowly stewing mixture of pink rhubarb, green apples and red cherries, bubbling together in a sugary sweet-syrupy mixture.

“Looks good, now all we’ve got to is blind bake the pie shell for a couple of minutes whilst this comes together.” 

“Mmhmm” he hums gently, the pie shell in its tin ready to go, left out on the worktop for a moment as he turns his attention to you, brushing your hair away from your neck as gently kisses your soft skin. 

“Y’know, it was my mom who taught me how to bake a pie. I would sit on the kitchen counters every time and just watch her as she worked. She was always so happy in what she was doing, not once did I ever see her in the kitchen without a smile on her face. She’d come up with all these different flavours and combinations and it was delicious every single time. She’d always tell me that the secret ingredient was love, and I don’t know if I ever fully believed her until I started baking for myself. She’d always give the pies the strangest names too, like ‘Bed-Time Story pie’ or ‘Summer Vacation pie’, my favourite one was ‘Pretty Baby pie’, she told me that that was the pie she made when she found out she was pregnant with me.”

“And what’s this one called?” he asks, nodding towards the mixture of fruit bubbling away on the stove.

“Well let’s just call it, hidden lover’s pie” you smile, turning the stovetop off and turning to look at him and as he looks back at you he cups your face in his hands and kisses your lips so sweetly. Pulling back from your lips he smiles at you so warmly.

“You're so beautiful.”

“I’m fat.” you laugh softly, resting a hand on your baby bump.

“You’re pregnant, there’s nothing in the world more beautiful than that.”

“Well I sure as hell don’t feel beautiful. I’m tired and cranky, totally not prepared and have no idea what I’m even doing. Just thinking about having this baby makes me scared as hell. I don’t know how to be a mother.”

“Nobody knows what they’re doing the first time they have a baby. I mean, my friend, Eddie and his wife had a baby not too long ago, and that man was the most nervous, terrified, panicked father-to-be that I had ever seen, but as soon as I delivered that little baby girl and he got to hold her in his arms for the first time? It was like a switch flipped in his brain and it all suddenly clicked into place.” 

“You delivered her?”

“Yeah, little Lydia Munson, I’m her god-father too. She’s a sweet kid, and her parents love her so much, she makes them very happy.”

You give a short hum as Steve takes your hands and pulls you close to his body, wrapping his arms around you in a safe, loving hug.

“..She makes them happy, just like being right here, with you in my arms, makes me happy.” he says, and with that he wastes no time in kissing his lips against yours once more, one hand tangled in your hair, the other hand is a steady presence on the curve your hip as he leans into you more to deepen the kiss.

You make me happy too, Steve, more than you could ever know.

You allow yourself this moment of quiet and blissful peace in Steve’s arms. A chance to let yourself just be taken as you are, not as Billy’s wife, not as the waitress from the diner, just as Y/N, nothing more, nothing less.

@keerygal @penguinsandpotterheads @mrsjellymunson @paybacksawitch @seatnights @ali-r3n @potatobeanpies

[strohller27]

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[perpetualexistence]

Slumbering Pride

Alenoah Week Day 7: Free Day! (Demon AU)

Alejandro is finally, finally close to beating José at something. He's in his junior year, and universities are already scouting him out thanks to his name, his academic prowess, and his athletic prowess.

They did the same for José when he was about to graduate. The difference is he had five schools attempt to recruit him.

Alejandro has six.

José can't let this stand. If Alejandro officially gets six offers, then he'll know José isn't perfect. He'll start trying harder to beat José in things. And worse, he might actually win if he's proven himself capable of it.

José needs to do something about it, so he comes to the most obvious solution.

He summons a demon.

(Rest under read more because it's long)

Demons are an open secret. They were confirmed to be real a while back, though are mostly bound by the deals they must make in order to maintain a foothold on the human realm. An unbound demon is a dangerous thing, and often happens if the person making the deal is tricked into breaking their side of it.

Demons are known to do everything possible to do this, or at least cause havoc in whatever capacity their bounds enable them to. It's forbidden and illegal for anyone to summon one without proper qualifications. (There's still some summonings that do happen after all, demons are quite useful so long as you're careful).

Still, humans are naturally curious creatures, and have found multiple ways of spreading this knowledge as best as they can. Demon summoning is uncommon, but it still happens. So much that children are taught what to do if they believe they're encountering a demon.

Most sane people know better than to risk entering any contract with a demon. But there are always those desperate enough, or stupid enough, to try.

Getting his hands on a book on demon summoning is child's play for someone with José's family connections. He doesn't care what kind of demon he summons, so long as he summons one that will do the job he wants. He can sweet talk them into giving him the best deal possible just as he sweet talks anyone else.

As he finishes the summoning, his limbs grow heavier. It is constant agony to keep himself standing. His thoughts grow fuzzy as he struggles to remember what he was so focused on. He isn't quite sure why he bothers.

It would be much easier to sit down and rest. What was he so worried about, again? It couldn't have been so important if he's forgotten. His eyes droop to a close as he lets out a sigh of relief he had been holding back for so, so long.

"Wow, you're seriously pathetic if you're this affected by my summoning."

José snapped out of his stupor to see a teenager staring back at him. He was a couple of inches shorter than José and could only be described as a breathing fashion disaster.

José could have stopped there, but he couldn't ignore the horns atop the demon's head, the wings pressed against his back, the tail lightly tapping the ground. His arms were folded as he tapped his clawed foot impatiently.

José was expecting something much more imposing than...this. He'd laugh if had less control of himself.

"I would like to make a deal with you-"

"Could have fooled me with your craiglist ad." Noah said, glancing at the circle underneath him. "It's so generic it screams 'I'm not going to put you in a van and drive you to an undisclosed location, I promise.'"

José could feel a headache coming on. "I am going to make a deal with you, demonio." He needed to regain control of this conversation, fast.

"Never said I wouldn't make one. What do you want?"

"I would like for you to stop my brother from getting too far ahead in life. At the very least, I want to make sure that he can never surpass me. In any way. Can you do that?"

"Depends on what I get in return."

The two end up negotiating until they settle on a deal: Noah makes sure that Alejandro can never surpass José, and in return Noah gets to take his ability to dream. José can do without a few dreamless nights.

That's how Alejandro finds himself waking up in the morning with a demon that was only as tall as halfway up his knee staring at him from the foot of his bed.

Alejandro instinctively kicks the smaller boy out of panic, sending a very unhappy demon crashing into a wall. When they've both recovered, Noah explains exactly what's going on.

He's here to pretty much haunt and sabotage Alejandro, José's the one who sent him because he's a dick, and this is just going to be their life now.

After Alejandro processes the fact that his brother truly hates him this much as to risk both of their lives to a demon, he asks why Noah would bother to tell him all of this. He doesn't say it out loud, but he knows that a demon could absolutely make his life a living hell. He's expecting insidious manipulations and life threatening accidents.

And this demon is making any sabotage more difficult by confessing that he's going to sabotage Alejandro? Something isn't adding up.

That's when Noah points out the big flaw in Jose's brilliant plan.

Because he hadn't been concerned about what kind of demon he summoned, he pretty much set up a job posting for a demon from any of the seven sins to snatch. Noah just happened to get there first.

So what does José get for not being specific?

A sloth demon.

Noah plans to do the bare minimum of what's required for his job. He doesn't care to bother with the effort of lying to Alejandro about his purpose here. The only reason he bothered to take this job in the first place is because the human realm has two things that the demon realm doesn't: Decent places to nap, and good books.

The only thing he hadn't counted on is how small he'd end up being once bonded with Alejandro. His size is dependent on the amount of sloth Alejandro has. The teen who gives it his all in every activity he does.

Noah's got his work cut out for him.

Alejandro tries seeing if he can use his own silver tongue to have Noah quit the job before he gets started, but with no luck. Noah doesn't feel like leaving. And he's not about to break the deal on his side because then he be forced back into the demon realm and unable to return unless directly summoned.

Alejandro would very much like to try just trapping the demon somewhere, then go to his brother to confront him about doing this. But he knows better than to act before fully knowing what Noah is capable of. And he wouldn't be surprised if his brother tried to gaslight him into thinking Noah wasn't real. He still doesn't quite believe it himself.

He does start to believe that having Noah around will be a continuous little nightmare. He's constantly offering snide remarks. He keeps trying to convince Alejandro to stop trying so hard and just be lazy.

Alejandro's not as aggravated as the attempt than he is at the fact that there's zero tact to it. Noah isn't even TRYING to be subtle. He could think of a thousand ways to do Noah's job better, except telling him that would then make Alejandro's life worse.

It gets to the point where he's so upset he just throws a pillow at Noah. The demon squawks as he gets hit, and Alejandro gets immense satisfaction from this. Alejandro knows this is a terrible idea, but he's angry at this whole situation and needs to take it out on somebody. Might as well do it on the one successfully set him off.

Alejandro gets his karma for snapping at Noah when he goes to sleep.

His dream starts off as he would expect it to. Until suddenly he finds something knocked against his back. He finds himself pinned to his stomach, and when he struggles to get out from under it, he finds the tip of a very familiar tail at a much larger scale pressing down on him.

"I thought 'Burromuertos conquer whatever they set their minds to'. We're in your mind. So get up."

Alejandro can feel Noah's smirk though he can't see it. He refuses to give Noah the satisfaction of admitting defeat and continues to fight against the tail.

Tears are not pricking his eyes as he's made to feel insignificant in the last safe place that was truly his.

As he can't feel tired in his dream, he continues to struggle. Noah admits that Alejandro's probably the most stubborn human he's ever met.

Alejandro snaps that he's a Burromuerto, and he does not quit. He cannot, and will not quit. Ever. No matter the competition, no matter the cost. Noah's just another obstacle in his way. But he will beat his brother in something for once in his life.

He does his best to hide the desperation in his need to believe that this is true. He's hidden it well in the past, but Noah is a perceptive sort and hears it anyways.

Noah asks what could type of win could possibly be so important that it was worth the risk of his brother summoning a demon on him.

"I'm about to beat him in the amount of colleges offering me admissions by one." Alejandro gloated, pride swelling in his chest.

The tail pressing down on him suddenly reached underneath him, and flipped him over like he was a roach. He looked up to see Noah's face free of apathy for the first time. Instead, it was replaced with one of...pity.

"You can't seriously be proud of that."

Alejandro grit his teeth. "I am."

"You have to know how that sounds, right?"

"Please do enlighten me about what you think that sounds like."

"It sounds pathetic! You're going above and beyond and you're seriously caught up in something as stupid as one-upping your brother?"

"Don't you dare try to act as if you know any better tú hijo de su puta madre," Alejandro snarled, the tears returning to his eyes. "I don't care what you are. You know nothing about me and my family. You can say and do whatever you like but I will not cow to any of your attempts to degrade me." His snarl turned into something of a deranged chuckle. "Do your worst. This is nothing new. I will still come out on top and grind you into dust."

Noah was silent for a long time. As he started to move his mouth to speak, Alejandro found himself snapping awake. He looked around to see Noah still in his room. He's looking at him with incredibly impassive indifference. Alejandro won't see anything else in his gaze. At least the demon was smart enough not to try running his mouth again.

Alejandro stormed off so he could grab a book to study while he ate breakfast.

Noah mostly stays out of Alejandro's way, but Alejandro can feel him watching. He doesn't care where Noah scampers off to during the day. He refuses to acknowledge the little monster.

He throws himself deep into studying. He's spending more time awake so he can study and avoid having to fall asleep. Beauty sleep be damned, he does not want to deal with Noah again.

When he does sleep, he dreams. He can always feel a looming presence behind him, and he says nothing of it.

He does his best to hide his exhaustion from the rest of his family. José notices and pounces on it. Alejandro continues to deny it, because he will not give his brother the satisfaction of having won yet another battle.

All the stress and exhaustion comes to a head after a few nights. Alejandro hopes for a dreamless night, and is instead greeted by a nightmare.

He's attending one of his parent's many galas, and his outfit is atrocious. He's sweating profusely. His hair is plastered to his face. Try as he might, it refuses to go back into place. He's a truly unforgiveable sight. He tries to sneak off so he can find something else to change into. Despite his appearance, no one is paying any attention to him. He finds out why as he goes through a guest.

He's running as fast as he can now. He's going through so many people, everything is blurring together. It all comes to a halt as he crashes into a wall he can't see. As he falls backwards, he sees that he's now in a terrarium.

Outside, his much larger brother and parents are talking to each other. Alejandro can't make out what they're saying, but he can see them laughing. He gets up and bangs on one of the walls. His brother flicks his gaze towards his little brother.

Finally, a break. He know Jose hates him, but he'd never truly hurt Alejandro. Alejandro knows this. He has to believe this. Jose could hurt him physically, mentally, and emotionally, but even he wouldn't leave Alejandro to die.

He'd just deliver a potential vehicle of death to Alejandro's doorstep, is all.

Their parents are gone, and it's just him and Jose now.

"Relájate, hermanito," Jose cooes as if he's talking to an infant, "Nadie espera que seas más de lo que eres. ¡Deberías estar agradecido de haber estado cerca de una fracción de mis logros! Sabes exactamente lo que te mereces por eso, ¿no?"

Jose lifts the lid of the terrarium up. He reaches a massive hand down towards Alejandro. Alejandro wants to climb up and away, but the walls are too smooth. They're closing in. All that there is is the hand, ready to grab him, crush him, throttle him, any variety of things.

He can do nothing to stop it. He was a fool for ever thinking he could. He closes his eyes shut in an instinctive fear he can't hold back anymore. He's hoping he can bring himself to fight. He's silently begging for his brother to be merciful enough to make it quick.

The hand that grabs him is much more gentle than he expects. He struggles to be free, but the grip is tight enough to stop much movement. There is no squeeze. It is weight without malice, and cool to the touch.

He feels something the size of a tree trunk gently brush his hair away from his face. He lets out a gasp of air he had been craving for far too long. He tries to open his eyes. He feels the tears sweat from earlier is sticking his eyelids shut. He shudders. His arms are pinned, so he can't move to fix wipe his eyes.

Suddenly, he's being moved higher and higher. He hears steady flapping from above. The pace is slow enough to where the wind is just a gentle breeze soothing his clammy skin.

He feels his captor descending, and he's unceremoniously dropped to the ground. He wipes his eyes and stands up. He's dressed to the nines. He sees other figures roaming about. He can see how they sneak a glance his way, then happily chitter amongst themselves.

"Mijo, no te quedes ahí parado," his mother says as she suddenly slips through the crowd. This is how he remembers this is a dream. His mother would never refer to him so colloquially, "Entra, tu juramento está por comenzar."

"Un momento, madre. Hay algo que debo hacer primero."

She clucks her tongue, another informal mark of unreality, and leaves him be.

Alejandro turned around, but all he could see were faceless guests.

"You can come out. I know you're here." Alejandro felt the ground behind him quake slightly, and turned to look up at Noah.

"Sure you want to waste your time with me? The dream isn't going to last forever."

"What did you do?"

"Took you out of your own nightmare. Brought you into one of José's dreams. And before you throw a fit, this is one he already let me have. He's nowhere here."

"Alright, that brings me to my next question. Why?"

"Is it really so hard to believe I did something out of the goodness of my miserable excuse of a heart?"

"Sí."

"You're ridiculous," Noah groaned, rolling his eyes. "Fine, I did it because it's easier to get you sleeping if you actually want to sleep. Happy with that answer? Or do you want me to pull out my five step plan for sabotaging you?"

"Well, a little presentation would go a long way~" Alejandro teased. He was finally comfortable enough to find his own voice again.

"And congratulations, you've made me regret doing anything. I'm going back to insulting you the second you wake up."

"You can try, and it still won't work."

"It will. Now go on, you've got the rest of this dream and that's it."

Alejandro left Noah to go explore the rest of the ceremony of achieving the same position of his father as a Spanish ambassador.

He wakes up to find a small Noah clinging onto his chest. The demon had somehow managed to wriggle his way under one of Alejandro's arms and was using it as a blanket. He's still fast asleep. Alejandro tests how asleep by moving his arm slightly. Noah clings tighter to the arm, but otherwise doesn't stir.

Alejandro could just stand up. That would definitely force the smaller boy awake. ...But, as loathe as he is to admit, Noah did help him. So, possibly for the first time in his life, he decides to sleep in rather than wake up for his daily morning routine.

Noah grows a few inches, matching the height of Alejandro's knee, during their nap.

The two are still antagonistic towards each other, but it's nowhere near as bad as when they first met. Alejandro lords over Noah in the waking world, and Noah returns the favor in the dreaming. There is one added wrinkle, though.

Thanks to Alejandro's moment of weakness, Noah has gained the ability force Alejandro into taking a nap. It can only happen when he's already feeling tired, whether physically or mentally thanks to studying, or if he's doing a mindless task.

It's some of the best sleep Alejandro has ever had.

It aggravates him to no end.

When Noah isn't trying to convince Alejandro to give up on his dreams, he's either sleeping, or is reading one of the many books in the Burromuerto library if that's where Alejandro has decided to study.

Alejandro notices Noah struggling when he tries to get books to read due to his size. He offers to grab a book for Noah to bribe him into leaving Alejandro alone for this study session. Noah immediately starts taking advantage of this by questioning Alejandro about what kinds of books he has. Noah might as well get a book based on its contents rather than its weight.

The two start getting into book recommendations. Alejandro sweetens the deal by gifting Noah one of the books he no longer reads to get peace for as long as it takes for Noah to read the book. Noah accepts immediately and will cling to the book with his entire body when Alejandro tries to help him lift the book.

No. This is Noah's book now. No one else is allowed to touch it.

He's so possessive because human things are hard to come by in the demon realm. Only greed demons are able to carry human things back to the demon realm, so they've of course got a monopoly of jacked up prices. The only exception is if a demon properly owns a human thing. Or in this case, is gifted one.

So yeah, Noah will agree to let Alejandro touch it to carry it, but he's watching that thing like a hawk.

A few weeks pass like this. Eventually, José butts his way into Alejandro's life as he usually does. He gloats that their parents are planning to host a party for José to start making connections now as he's properly starting on his journey to becoming an ambassador.

The second he's gone, Noah and Alejandro start bonding by shit talking José.

Alejandro justifies trying so hard so that he can finally one up José. It's why he won't give in to sloth. Nothing good ever comes of doing nothing. Besides, it's one of the weakest of the sins, so it will be easy enough to overcome.

Noah argues that sloth isn't as terrible as Alejandro makes it out to be. It means actually getting rest when everything is overwhelming rather than chugging on through to crash and burn later. Taking a step back and doing nothing can lead to new ideas popping up because there is no longer stress preventing them. Hell, some innovation comes from humans being lazy and wanting a better way to do things.

Like any of the other sins, it's only bad when done in excess. And it can be worse than just being lazy. Having too much sloth means having too much apathy. Horrible people get away with atrocities when enough people are too lazy to do anything about it. It means nothing changes because nobody wants to change.

Noah reveals that underestimating sloth is exactly how José has absolutely screwed himself. José has given up his ability to dream. He thinks the only definition of that are his literal dreams at night, and that's what Noah has been feeding on so far.

They also mean his dreams about being an ambassador. His dreams of more. Dreams are heavily linked with desire and ambition. By the time Noah's done with him, José will be nothing more than a walking husk. He'll do the bare minimum needed to survive, but nothing more. Knowing he should long for something else but being unable to.

The only reason he hasn't done so immediately is if he does take it fully, it means his deal would be over, and no more being in the human realm.

This does remind Alejandro that he is having a casual conversation with a demon. Despite their current pleasantries, it would be a terrible thing to watch Noah get more creative in his interpretations of his deal with José. It's safer to keep him entertained than to let his mind wander.

It doesn't hurt that entertaining Noah has led to riveting conversation.

Still, he comes up with an idea to control Noah, and get himself some much deserved revenge. He asks if he could actually make a deal with Noah to get back at José.

Unfortunately Noah can't. Not because he doesn't want to. He's got no issues with taking José down a peg. He's just unable to make a deal with more than one human at a time. There are conflict of interest rules in place. Even if there weren't, he's still a teenager. He's not powerful enough to make multiple deals at a time yet.

But he knows a demon who'd be willing to help out.

Her name's Eva. She's a wrath demon. She's pretty straightforward. Tell her exactly what you want, and she won't try to screw with you so long as you don't do the same to her.

Alejandro is concerned about what her price would be, but he isn't going to say that directly. Instead, he comes up with a different plan to solve this in a way better than his brother had.

He asks about what kinds of things that Eva likes. Noah did mention that human objects were more difficult to come by in the demon world, yes? Alejandro could give something concrete rather than abstract. Everyone wins.

Noah doesn't say anything, but Alejandro can tell that Noah is impressed that he remembered something Noah had said. He must not have much chance to show off his knowledge in the demon realm.

Noah tells him that she likes music. All she's been able to scavenge is a very old, shitty MP3. Phones are more easy to come by, but with no service they're practically worthless. Besides, Eva's chill when she's not fully committing her job.

His only condition is Alejandro's going to have to agree to forget how to summon Eva after they've done the ritual. Eva doesn't like just anybody summoning her, and Noah respects that enough to not share it with others without her permission.

Alejandro agrees.

When the final word is spoken, he waits. And waits. and waits. It feels like he's been waiting for at least an hour. He's going to tap a hole in the floor with anticipation at this rate.

It can't be taking this long. The longer he waits, the longer José gets to prance around consequence-free. He deserves no peace for what he's put Alejandro through. His lips curl in disgust at the thought of his brother getting rewarded for all of his misdeeds. He wants to call his brother over, right here, right now. Just so he can throttle José himself-

"What do you want?" asked the demon who now stood in front of him. Her arms were crossed, and she looked annoyed to even be looking at him. Alejandro had to shake his head to head to let go of the pent-up rage he had suddenly developed.

"Hey iron woman." Noah commented from his current perch on a nearby bookshelf. Eva turned her attention away from Alejandro to see the smaller demon.

"Noah." Eva commented as she acknowledged him with a nod. Noah's face was still set with apathy, and Eva's with annoyance.

Yet Noah was wrapping his tail around his leg to prevent it from wagging as furiously as Eva's was.

"So, what do you want?" Eva repeated. The edge to her tone was dulled this time.

"I would like to make a deal with you. My brother is going to be at the center of a gala recently. I know he doesn't think as highly of others as he will pretend, so I would just like your help in making him more...honest about his true feelings." Noah sighed at this answer.

"You want a truth spell?" Eva asked. She turned to pay attention to Noah before Alejandro could form a response. "Why would you summon me for this?"

"He wants you to make his brother throw the rage fit to end all rage fits in front of an international audience."

"Then why didn't he just say that?"

"Because he doesn't know how to follow instructions."

"Then why'd you bring me a stupid one?" Eva asked Noah.

Alejandro had to bite his lip to stop himself from interrupting. He was being both ignored and insulted. He couldn't let this be his impression on anybody.

However, Noah knew this demon, while he did not. She clearly valued Noah's opinion over his own, so countering his opinion now would only serve to shut her off further from responding to the Spaniard.

"He has his moments," Noah replied, "Plus, you're going to like what he has to offer."

"Well?" Eva asked, turning her attention back to Alejandro.

"As Noah so tactfully implied, I do plan to offer a fair price," Alejandro said, glad to have control of the conversation again. He pulled out a small device he'd performed quite a bit of research to get his hands on. "I've heard that you are in need of more music. I have managed to find a top of the line mp3 player-"

"How many songs?" Eva interrupted. She was looking directly at Alejandro now.

"If I had to guess? A little over 20,000."

Eva's tail immediately dropped. He could see her mind move from processing that number, to grappling it, to understanding it. Her eyes shone with anticipation that she didn't bother to hide. Her tail was practically causing a minor tornado. Her hands were half clenched and shaking as if she was five seconds away from snatching the prized jewel Alejandro held in his hands.

"Ice Nine Kills."

"Hm?"

"Ice Nine Kills. Silver Scream 2: Welcome to Horrorwood. We're moving up from there. Now gimme."

"Well, hold on. We still need to work out some of the finer details-"

"Fine, sure, we have the deal, whatever you want now give it to me."

Alejandro had to hide the smirk that was threatening to form on his face. He had no idea his offer would work this perfectly. All he had to do was seal-

"Eva!" Noah snapped. "You just offered a human 'whatever they want' in a deal."

"...Oh." Eva realized.

"Yeah, 'oh'." Noah glanced at Alejandro. "And don't think I didn't see that look in your eyes. I'm proctoring your deal."

"But-" both Eva and Alejandro tried to argue.

"It's happening."

With that, the two negotiated for a fair deal. Eva could stay in the human realm specifically to download as many songs as she wanted for her mp3 player, and to help Alejandro in his revenge. After that, she'd go back, and the mp3 player would be hers forever.

They both agree to it, and the deal is set. Noah and Eva spend some time catching up while Eva searches for music. Noah insists on catching up in private, which he obliges. After two failed attempts to eavesdrop.

The three of them plan exactly how to best humiliate José. Alejandro hadn't known quite what to expect with Eva, but he was pleasantly surprised. Her ideas were simple, direct, and brutal. They contrasted with Alejandro and Noah's more elaborate plans until they came to a consensus.

The party happens, and everything is set in place. Eva is invisible to everyone else, and is preparing elsewhere. Alejandro just needs to stay away from his brother so he doesn't realize something is amiss with Noah.

Alejandro knows that this is the perfect time to put himself out there. Especially since José's reputation is about to be shattered. He'll be remembered as the good Burromuerto this time around. Talking comes as second nature to him. All he has to do is talk, and just ignore Noah.

Noah, who's not having a good time at this party. Despite being invisible, his eyes are darting around everywhere as if they could see him. Thanks to being invisible, he's constantly having to avoid feet stepping on him. He's sticking as closely as he can to Alejandro, though he's not commenting on it at all.

Alejandro excuses himself to go to a more quiet part of the mansion forbidden to guests. Noah's visibly more relaxed as they get farther away from the crowd. But he does ask what Alejandro's doing.

Alejandro attempts to lie about being the one who needed space, but Noah shuts him down since he could see Alejandro lighting up when he talked to others. Alejandro will confess to noticing Noah and leaving since he knew Noah would follow. Their new partnership won't do well if one of them is in a near state of panic.

...Consider it returning the favor for the nightmare, if that helps.

Noah's quiet as he recognizes that this human is showing the closest thing to compassion that he can muster. He wants to say something, but the time of José's humiliation is nearing, and he wants to be there to see it. Alejandro makes his way back inside. He keeps Noah calm in the crowd by having him perch on his shoulder, and quietly making fun of the guests as they pass.

Eventually, José's breakdown begins. It works gloriously. He's swearing at other ambassadors. He's throwing things. At one point he's about to let loose of of the skeletons in the Burromuerto's family closet, but he's dragged away before he can. Alejandro has to hide his laughter, though Noah has no need to.

Unfortunately, it means that Noah has broken the deal on his end because he's intentionally let Alejandro beat Jose in something: not causing an international scandal. He gets pulled back to the demon realm and as punishment, can't answer any summons for at least a year unless it's for him specifically.

Alejandro's heartbroken to have Noah ripped away from him. He'd grown rather fond of having the demon around. He can't ask Eva for more help because she disappeared once José's scandal ended. He tries to find the book José used to summon Noah, but it was shredded. José was smart enough to guess that a demon had something to do with his irrational behavior.

Alejandro spends the next few weeks obsessing over finding the right summoning circle. His grades are slipping the tiniest amount, and he can't bring himself to care. He forces himself to sleep. He hopes that will somehow increase his chances of finding Noah. They feel empty without Noah to watch. He has no idea how to find one for Noah specifically, though he certainly does try. He settles for the next best thing: trying a generic summoning circle with the first gift Alejandro gave him as a conduit. Maybe he could at least find a demon who'd be willing to make a deal to help him get in touch with Noah.

This is incredibly dangerous and stupid, but the risk is worth it.

His stomach growls as he finishes the circle. He's been so focused on his work. He doesn't remember the last time he's eaten. He could leave to grab a quick bite-

No, no. He knows what this is. These thoughts aren't his. They can't be Noah's either. Noah's never cared much for-

stuffing his face until he can take no more. His body is a temple, and it deserves to be lavished. He's salivating, and must force himself not to run for the kitchen.

He's rewarded for his discipline with a large, blond demon who calls himself Owen.

He explains the situation to Owen, but no sooner does he utter Noah's name that Owen lights up.

"Ooooh, YOU'RE AL!!!"

Owen immediately starts going on about how Noah's his best friend. Which confuses Alejandro. He'd assumed Eva was Noah's best friend. She was stoic, blunt, and had common sense. She made sense.

This oaf with no volume control did not.

Owen keeps going on regardless of Alejandro's thought process. He completely outs Noah as being a mess thinking he'd never see Alejandro again. Noah was sleeping even harder than was normal for him, he was talking about Alejandro a lot you name it!

So of course Owen will be happy to get the two connected again!

Owen does want to give Alejandro Noah's summoning circle/number, but Alejandro did summon him so it does have to be some kind of deal. Uh...What's the nearest snack he's got? Owen'll take that.

He shares the information, then immediately leaves to go tell his little buddy that Alejandro plans to summon him.

Alejandro changes the circle to summon Noah with fervor.

When Alejandro summons Noah he feels as if every worry he's ever had has melted away. He wants to lay his head on Noah's lap and look up at him. He wants to reach up and tease his fingers through Noah's hair. He wants to trick Noah into leaning down so they can share a kiss and shift to nuzzling together. No more fighting to be on top. Just this once.

They're both blushing when Noah does get summoned because uh they both felt THAT. Neither of them meant that to be the way to confess but uh, whoops.

The two make a deal: "I'll help you get revenge on Jose until you're satisfied (knowing that with Alejandro, he never will be), and you'll let me stay in the human realm for as long as I want."

"Change that to for as long as I live."

"Still don't trust me?"

"I have to put some limits on you mi gatito travioso. Besides, now I know you have an investment in keeping me alive."

"You're terrible."

"Says the demon."

There are many ways to seal a deal with a demon.

They seal this one with a kiss.

[twisted-wonderland-shenanigans]

Twisted Monsterland: Messy Toddlers

Little kids can always cause a mess, whether it’s with paint, markers, food, or dirt and mud. It’s a fact of life, and while a hassle to clean up, it can be fun!

So what happens when you have a tiny human living amongst the monsters in Twisted Wonderland who tends to get messy? How about we take a look at some of the dorms and see!

//At Savanaclaw//

Mini!Yuu: *playing in a mud puddle, singing random things as they smoosh and stir the mud with their hands*

Grim: “What’cha doin’, Yuu?”

Mini!Yuu: “Makin’ mud pies for everyone!” *pulls out clumps of grass before sprinkling it over the mud pile* “Time to add the sprinkles~!”

Grim: “What a waste of perfectly good grass…”

Ruggie: *walking up to the two* “There you are, Bugaboo. What’cha playing with this time?”

Mini!Yuu: “I made a mud pie!” *scoops up the pile, globs falling onto their clothing as they hold it up to him* “Try some!”

Ruggie: “Oooh, looks pretty tasty.” *pretends to get a piece and chews, grinning as he gives a thumbs up*”"Mmm…perfect blend of flavors, though you might wanna ease up on the seasoning. Shishishishi~!”

Mini!Yuu: “Hooray!”

Ruggie: “Wouldja look at the time? It’s almost time for you to head back to the teachers, and you’re a mess.” *hoists them into his arms* “Come on, it’s bath time.”

//At Diasomnia//

Mini!Yuu: *playing with finger paints on a canvas*

Lilia: “I’ll be right back, little one. Silver? Would you keep an eye on the little one while I’m gone?”

Silver: “Of course, father.”

*ten minutes later*

Lilia: “I’m back.” *pauses before snorting, smiling at the sight of Silver asleep on the couch with paint on his face and tusks* “My, my. Had I known you needed a bigger canvas, I could have gotten a white tarp for the floor.” *glances over at Malleus before bursting out laughing* “Oh! It looks like you two are having fun.”

Malleus: *sitting nearby with mini!Yuu standing on his lap, painting his horns with bright colorful flowers* “The Child of Man wished to do face painting.”

Mini!Yuu: *has paint on their face that looks like scales and sticky fake stones on their forehead like Malleus’* “I’m making Mr. Horns feel pretty!”

Lilia: “So you are, little one. And what are you supposed to be?”

Mini!Yuu: “Silver made me look like a dragon, just like Mr. Horns! Rawr!”

Lilia: “And a mighty little dragon you are~!”

//At Pomefiore//

Mini!Yuu: *scribbling on a wall in the hallway with a pen they found, singing a happy song as they’re drawing swirls*

Epel: *comes across Yuu and yelps* “Yuu, no! What are you doing?!”

Mini!Yuu: *startled* “Drawing?”

Epel: “Oh no…oh no, Vil is going to throw a fit if he sees this!”

Vil: “If I see…what?”

Epel: “Ack!?”

Rook: “Ooh, it looks like mon chou is showing their creative spirit!”

Mini!Yuu: *nervously looks between the wall and Vil’s stern stare* “Am…I in trouble?”

Vil: *hums for a moment before kneeling down, pulling out his own pen* “Your form is good, though perhaps we can add a little something to this one.”

Mini!Yuu: “What?”

Vil: “I’m thinking…leaves would be a good start.” *begins drawing, creating beautiful shapes following the swirl that get bigger and bigger* “What else should we add to it?”

Mini!Yuu: “Mmm…flowers!”

Vil: “Very well. Will you help me draw them?”

Epel: *staring wide eyed between them and Rook as the two continue drawing, leaning in to whisper to Rook* “Am…am I dreaming? Vil would have gone bonkers if any of us ruined the walls!”

Rook: “Ah, but why stifle the creativity of our little mon chu when they are clearly expressing their individuality? Even Roi du Poison sees the beauty in this.” *goes to kneel next to them, pulling out his own pen* “May I join in?”

Epel: “…huh.”

(Later, the art is still on the wall, a mix of child-like drawings mixed with elegant and fun pictures depicting rabbits, apples, and a peacock)

//At Heartslabyul//

Mini!Yuu: *sitting on a stool, watching Trey mixing dough into balls for bread and trying to mimic him with their own ball of dough*

Trey: “Oh, I need to get the butter out of the fridge. Sit tight, okay?” *dusts hands off and goes over to the fridge*

Mini!Yuu: *hums as they look at the one they’re working on* “Mmm…needs more flour!” *reaches for the bag of flour, trying to lift it up*

POMF!!

Mini!Yuu: *coughs as they’re covered in flour, the bag on the ground and the counter coated in flour*

Trey: “Huh?? Pfft…I should have known something like this would happen.” *reaches out to pat away some of the dusty flour* “Guess when we’re finished baking, it’s bath time again.”

//----------//

That’s all I can think of off the top of my head, but these are just some cute things that came to mind~

The Pomefiore part was actually based on this one post I came across, though I could only find the pictures. While I had initially thought of it happening at Heartslabyul or even Scarabia…I just got soft thinking of Vil indulging mini!Yuu and helping to create good art QvQ/)

[ghouljams]

I was just stalking your fae au and was reading the moose-creature-mimic posts, and I saw you mention that witch can feel when the mimic is trying to break her wards.

Whenever I hear about Fae, my mind immediately goes to the magic system from one of my favourite book series in which people who make wards have to develop wards for specific creatures, and if a creature that they haven’t warded against tries to enter, they can break through, if not break the rest of the wards.

Let’s say for a moment that something like that happens in the Fae AU, where some kind of unfamiliar creature from a foreign civilization comes a knocking on witches doorstep, and is able to break through her wards.

What do you think would happen? If Witch is connected to them, would Witch ‘break’ too? How would Price react to the pure panic and pain shooting through the tethers as an unfamiliar creature breaks through his darling’s wards?

I feel like she would be absolutely broken afterwards (if she survives that is-) Her wards are her safe space, she had never had that happen, she didn’t know what happened.

Would price still trust her to be safe in her own home?

Would SHE still trust her to be safe in her own home??

Just some thoughts 🫣

Oooooooooh. Ok yeah I can do some horror with this. Love the concept. So the Canon answer is that warding in this magic system can be as broad or as narrow as the caster wants. Wards can be weak and they can be broken, but it isn't going to harm the caster, maybe it'll give then a bad feeling but not any actual harm. Not a very good ward if it harms the wrong target IMHO.

For the Witch's home these are wards that are basically generations of people enforcing and reinforcing an all purpose boundary. It's an iron wall that nothing(save humans) is getting through without a permit, and it's tied to Witch both through her magic and her blood. She can feel when things mess with it, but it's like getting asmr, it isn't actually affecting her. She's mentioned before that her wards are threats, so anything that isn't stopped by a simple denial of entry is going to have those threats enacted upon it.

But let's say something broke her wards, let's throw some rocks through the windows and bust shit up. I am going on record to say, this isnt canon:

You feel something crack in the air before you feel it break. The splintering spiderweb of intangible bonds being pushed too far hits you between the ribs and you have to clutch the kitchen counter to stay standing. Something is deeply, desperately, wrong. You don't know how or why(or what) but something is working very hard to get in to your space.

It shouldn't be possible in the first place, you have known this house, these wards, your whole life and you've never felt it give way. You've felt it change, felt it ripple, felt it pop and fizz when it doesn't like what you've let in, but never this. Never the creaking pressure of it bowing inwards and splitting under its own tension. Your fingers wrap tight around your athame as you go to check your back garden, peaking through the curtains. There's nothing.

But you can feel it, you can feel it splintering like a pain in your chest. Tight and radiating out from your sternum. It tingles down your arm, makes your grip feel looser than you know it is. You grab your back door's handle, take a few breathes to give yourself strength, and open it to shoo away whatever is pressing your wards. And very suddenly the splinters give way, like a hole punched through a window.

It feels like all the air has been forced out of your lungs. A cool breeze blows through your door, wrong so very, very, wrong. The smell of moss invades your nose, burdened with the scent of decay. Slime mold oozing against your desperate breaths. You tug your shirt to cover your nose and mouth as the battering ram that had been beating your barrier steps through.

The horns of it scrape your ceiling, actually that bothers you more than it should, you're the one that has to fix it later. Velvet hangs from its antlers, freshly scraped and red, gory and divine. It stands on two clover hooves, and looks at you with malice. If you can even discern an expression from the thing. It's face is completely smooth save for its eyes, or it was smooth. A crack forms along the bottom of its smooth surface, splintering and chipping as it rips its mouth open and screams at you.

The sound is overpowering, dizzying, you feel your ears pop and then the noise is gone, replaced by a persistent dull ringing. You truly wonder when your life got so interesting. You hate interesting. You blame Price.

You cough, gag. You have to drop your makeshift mask to retch against the stench of rotten decay on this thing. It smells like death, weeks old bodies left to fester where no one will find them. You gag again, fingers curling around your throat as you try to keep you athame raised.

Your wards are silent, you home is silent, and you realize that you've never actually experienced true silence. Something is always buzzing or humming with magic, you always have music playing or bottles clinking, you're always surrounded by sound. Now it's all stopped. Even the ringing in your ears has settled into a cottony muffle. You can't feel any of your magic. Your numbed to it.

You drop your hand from your throat to your chest. You can't even feel the tethers there. Your fingers move over the fabric of your shirt without catching, there's not tightness to pull, not warmth to catch. You feel cavernous, empty past empty. What the fuck is that thing.

Whatever it is it seems to have finished its evaluation of you. Finished working whatever spell it was weaving. It takes a step towards you. You don't wait for it to take another before running. Scrambling away from the broken seal of the door towards whatever is heavy and throw-able.

You do your best not to let blind panic take over, to not just run wherever feels safe. You've always thought it was silly when people in horror movies don't do the smart thing, but you've never been in a horror movie before. You bolt towards your bedroom. It's the best guarded room in the house. Even if you can't feel your magic it should still be there. Right?

You feel the swip of the things claws through the air as it tries to grab you. You run straight past your front door without a second thought, sure you don't want whatever that is to be unleashed on the general public. It's claws dig deep gouges into the plaster of your wall, and you pray it doesn't do the same to your bedroom door. You know it will, but it can't hurt to pray. You're not in the mood to be picky with magic right now.

You get your bedroom door closed just in time to hear it splinter as the creature throws itself against it. You don't bother with chalk, digging your athame into the door and scratching sigils and circles as quickly as you can. When you tap them they sit absolutely dead. You smack your hand against your messy circle, willing the magic to respond. You smack it again as the creature throws itself against your door. The circle stays as it was, motionless, silent, still as a drawing.

You are suddenly much more comfortable allowing panic to overtake you. If you're powerless there's really no reason to keep your emotions in check. Your breath heaves, short and quick as you back away from your door and look towards your window. No magic swirls, no books rip themselves from your shelves, your panic heightens and nothing happens. How mundane.

One of the creatures claws punches a hole through the center of your circle, then another, and another. You back towards your window as it grips the wood of the door and attempts to pull it from its hinges. Your fingers push at your window, try to find the seams of it, try to get it open. It doesn't budge, it feels like it's been painted on. You bang your fist against the glass without so much as a crack. The wood behind you splinters. The crunch of it deafening over the silence.

"Price, Price, fuck I am not fucking around Price please," You beg pressing yourself back against the window as the creature drops pieces of the door onto your floor. Even if your magic doesn't work his still must. You've never hear of a fae not responding to their name. Granted you don't know the full thing, you don't know if that's really his name and not just a nickname. It might hold no power without the tethers between you. That doesn't stop you from saying it like a prayer, hoping if you speak him into existence enough times he might come and save you.

Your shoulders are grabbed by an invisible force as you are physically shaken. Your ribs shake, muscles tensed too tight to even take a breath.

There is a wet ache spreading over your stomach, you begin to tilt your head down to see what's wrong and Price catches you. His hand holds the back of your head, pulls it back up and shoves it against his shoulder. "Don't look," he tells you just as quickly as he'd stopped you. You nod against his shoulder.

He pulls something from you, rips the proverbial bandaid off, and you bite him at the pain. It feels like your heart has been knocked out of place, like your ribs have been played as a xylophone. Your stomach twists on itself. Suddenly you are back in your kitchen staring at the cabinets, the space where the creatures antlers had scraped the ceiling. The scratches are still there.

Then the shaking starts. Every muscle in your body starting to unspool in a violent shudder that must quake the very earth you stand on. It's loud. The house is so loud. The wards are practically screaming at you, you threshold wails and sobs where it has been brutalized. Your back door is still swung open to red and orange leaves, a lovely autumn day that leaks the smell of wet earth into your home. Price turns to follow your shaking gaze and kicks the door shut behind him.

"What-" You can't get anything more out around the aftershocks of panic. You're sure your house must look like a war zone.

"Probably some American invention," Price mumbles, "You weren't under long, deep breaths."

You suck in a breath, press your know into his shirt to smell the cool tobacco. It helps. Price keeps a firm grip on the back of your head, keeps you looking where he wants you to while his other hand does something. He touches you in a way you can't explain. It's almost metaphysical the way he zips you up, just on the right side of freezing. You can almost feel his fingers moving muscle and viscera out of the way as he does whatever he's doing. Fixing whatever just happened.

"Fucking hell your wards shredded that thing, surprised it even had the strength to touch you," There's something at the edge of Price's voice, fear your think. You're not sure what he's scared of, it isn't a comforting sound.

"How're you-" You try to focus on the important questions, like why Price hasn't been shredded.

"You lit up like a damn Christmas tree, thought I was gonna have my own attack with the panic you shot my way," He draws his hand away from your stomach, apparently finished with his fussing, "wards were too busy to notice me slip in."

Makes sense, even now they're too busy with repairs to pay attention to your regular.

"It broke my door," It's funny what you latch onto once shock starts to set in. "What did it want?"

"Same thing we all want," Price tells you, and you hate hearing him say it(we), because he doesn't mean it kindly, "you."

[richardlawson]

The End

After a few years away from that particular couch, I started seeing a new therapist at the end of last year. It had been long enough, I sagely determined, after I was felled by a series of really nasty panic attacks—one happened while I was doing a Q&A on stage with some filmmakers. They didn't notice, nor did the audience, nor (most importantly) the publicists. But it was happening. Me contemplating running off stage, into the Soho afternoon. It was a terrible feeling, and eventually feeling terrible starts to be a drag, so I found, after a fair amount of searching, someone new.

He is in his late 50s and has a kind, open comportment. He's much more giving and lean-in-and-nod than my last therapist, a sort of prim and watchful gay guy who retired to Florida. I like this new gay guy, I think. Or, I am warming to him. At first, I thought his platitudes and constant quoting of various people were corny. But I have resisted such sentiment for so long, and lack of sentiment hasn't cured me, so maybe I should try the earnest stuff. He has me meditating for one minute a day. The panic attacks went away.

For a little while, anyway. They've been creeping back, when I least expect them, and when I most do. I am afraid of what I am afraid of, I hate what I hate, I feel increasingly indifferent to what I love. Winter hardens care. Do I like movies anymore? Do I like a play, seen on some chilly Saturday afternoon? Maybe it's just seasonal. Or it's media malaise in a time of such austerity. They're trying to lay off the best people while the worst people watch, safe as houses. They're trying to take the whole thing apart and replace it with nothing. I have worked in my business for 16 years, well over a third of my life, and for the first time it now feels truly dire and terminal and like I need to start making other plans for what to do with the rest of my time here in the waking, working world.

Something I talk about a lot with my therapist is inertia—I use the word constantly. Why can't I just, why can't I just, why can't I just. I know something's in me, latent under my lazy skin, but it never makes its way to the surface. At least not yet.

Which causes panic, this stasis. I am scared of the drugs that might help, and am resistant to other concrete life changes that might make this better. (I like a glass of wine too much; I'm a fan of my vape.) I have tried avoiding things, I have tried not avoiding things.

I guess it's not circumstance, really. I have panic attacks when I'm home at night, Andrew asleep in the other room, me watching some murder show or YouTube video (same thing) and suddenly a feeling hits me, the conviction that a blood clot or some other lurking thing is making its way up my body and that this is my sorry, lonely little nighttime end. Here it is, the moment when I'm carried off, when I disappear, when I slip away into nothing.

My parents just finished a cruise, a lifelong wish fulfilled, in South America, hooking around Cape Horn and then exploring the fjords and inlets of Chile. All the reports were good. They had the best time. I had worried about my mom itching for her work email, about my dad being newly 90 years old and maybe feeling exhausted by all the activity. But it seems they managed well. They saw Patagonian cities, they saw mountains rising out of the sea, they saw the shy, retreating edges of glaciers, so quiet and demure in their dying. My mom sent us pictures and I thought most about the glaciers, those last cracking murmurs of a time before. When I was in Alaska for a wedding, years ago now, we went to a park of some kind and the visitor's center that was once built over a glacier then stood cantilevered over dry land. The ice had crept much farther up the mountain, winking goodbye.

How awful. And yet, in the depths of my hypocrisy, I relish an unseasonably warm day. Whatever lifts me out of winter, I guess. Whatever can drag me out of the feeling that everything is indeed going to ruin—a career, a life, a liver, a future. My best friend moved out of my neighborhood recently, which is sad. But it also affords us the opportunity to explore new territory, to find backyard bars with good deals where we can huddle in forgiving late-winter winds and make uneasy escape plans, where we consider what parachutes could ever be made of.

It's not always enough, of course. I too often have nights, far too late, when I go pacing around the living room, circling the coffee table in a weird sort of marching step in my underwear, shaking my hands to get the dread to go away. My new therapist has urged me to find what centers me. To think of all that is known and steady.

I try to gather myself and remember the people I have, arrayed across the planet. Andrew, in restless sleep down the hall. My sister in her Los Angeles canyon, surrounded by trees. I walk the room, knees high and somehow defiant, chest straining with worry. And I see my parents, on a boat at the tip of the world, dreaming of lost things.

[nakmor-leigh]

Assigning rock/metal/punk songs to the companions because why not

Halsin

Footsteps - Pop Evil

I've walked an empty mile/ Wore down this lonely soul/ I take these footsteps/ Go higher/ Go higher

(Really hard not to give him the love songs i have saved bc i love him so much)

Wyll

Leviathan - Volbeat

Horns that sprout out from your head/ A glowing light beneath the surface/ You said that you and I/Could make 'em all terrified/ And clean up the whole world

(Not only does this song reflect Wyll's journey to find and awaken Ansur, but it's WYLL, WYLL is the leviathan!!)

Karlach

I am the Fire - Halestorm

Roaring like the sun/ And I am the one/ I've been waiting for/ Screaming like a siren/ alive and burning brighter/ I am the Fire

(Very on the nose but i couldn't find a song that fit both her personality and her story like this)

Gale

Fear Inoculum - Tool

Exhale/ Expel/ Recast my tale/ Weave my allegorical elegy

(This song fits in overall vibes, lyrics, and even long-windedness [affectionate]. Literally sounds like someone casting a spell)

Shadowheart

Haunted - Evanescence

Long lost words whisper slowly to me/ Still can't find what keeps me here/ When all this time I've been so hollow inside

(Yes yes "Bring Me To Life" is a very Shart song but, aside from Evanescence being a Shadowheart BAND in general, i think the lyrics of Haunted fit her the most)

Astarion

I'm Not Jesus - Apocalyptica

When your world comes crashing down/ I want to be there/ If God is looking down on me/ I'm not Jesus/ Jesus wasn't there

(Me 🤝🏽 Astarion: surviving horrible abuse and being very bitter about it 🥲)

Lae’zel

Indestructible - Disturbed

Another mission/ The powers have called me away/ Another time/ To carry the colors again/ My motivation/ An oath I've sworn to defend/ To win the honor/ Of coming back home again

(This entire song is her entire personality and character motivation)

Minthara

Looking Down the Barrel of Today - Hatebreed

Once had a shotgun to my head/ They said i wasn't worth the bullets/ Now the world is my trigger/ And I'm here to fucking pull it

(I gotta be honest, i haven't recruited Minthara yet, so this is just off what little i know about her. She can have a badass fight song, as a treat)

Jaheira

When Legends Rise - Godsmack

Throat is dry/ My vision's fading/ I'm paralyzed/ And left here waiting/ Taking time/ Just one step forward/ Won't lose my mind/ I'm here to stay

(Jaheira is awesome and a legend. She keeps trying to give up the fight but always finds herself stepping up again because it's the right thing to do)

Minsc

Tribute - Tenacious D

So we played the first thing/ That came to our heads/ Just so happened to be/ The best song in the world/ It was the best song in the world

(¯\_(ツ)_/¯ It sounds like his exact type of story telling, and exactly like something that would happen to him lmaoooo)

[diazsdimples]

Tease Tidbit Tuesday!

Wasn't initially going to do this cause I'm up north with my husband while he gets surgery but then I decided fuck him! He'll survive without me for a second. (for legal reasons, I am joking)

This is another Musican AU snippet, set just before the last snippet and is just before their first kiss

Tagged by @thewolvesof1998 @hippolotamus thanks friends!

It's just as Eddie checks his watch, realising the time, that Buck suggests something. He’s holding his cello out in front of him by the neck, letting it twirl around on it’s spike like some kind of wooden ballerina and his eyes suddenly light up. Eddie can almost see the lightbulb flicker on in his brain.

“Hey, do you wanna try playing it? I can teach you?”

Eddie looks at it cautiously. “Are you sure? I won’t break it?”

Buck waves a hand dismissively. “Nah, they’re sturdy. Go on, I’ll show you what to do.”

Eddie sets his horn down and apprehensively takes the cello from Buck. It feels weird, too big and clunky for his liking. Buck gets up from his chair and kneels in front of Eddie.

“Spike’s too long for you” he mumbles as he fiddles with a knob at the base of the cello. Suddenly the instrument is shooting downwards and Eddie clamps his legs together to stop it from hitting the ground. “Ah, much better” Buck says, and he tightens the knob. The cello slots comfortably between Eddie’s legs and he lets the body rest against his chest, the scroll and tuning pegs lightly brushing his ear.

Buck hands him the bow and Eddie awkwardly closes his fist around it. It doesn’t look right, and Eddie knows he’s not holding it properly but he’s got no clue what else to do.

Buck lets out a small chuckle as he glances at Eddie’s grip and he moves again so he’s standing behind Eddie, leaning over his shoulder. “Here, let me”.

Suddenly, Buck’s hand is enveloping Eddie’s and he’s tugging at Eddie’s fingers, moving them into position. His hand is warm and firm as he guides Eddie’s fingers into the correct position. Eddie’s thumb is now tucked between the hair of the bow and the wood and his other fingers are curled around what he now knows is called the frog. Buck smooths Eddie’s fingers down so he’s not gripping the bow so hard.

“You gotta let it balance between your thumb, pointer and middle fingers. The others are just for support” he says and Eddie can feel the rumble of his chest against his back as he talks.

Eddie swallows thickly. “I think I’ve got it” he croaks but Buck doesn’t remove his hand. Instead, he directs Eddie to bring the bow against the strings, reaching around behind Eddie to curl his left hand around the finger board. With gentle precision, Buck guides Eddie to draw the bow along the bottom string. A low, haunting note is drawn forth from the cello and Eddie shivers. Buck presses his finger down on the string and the note changes. It’s like a throb in Eddie’s chest, humming through his body and making him feel like his veins are full of warm honey. He can feel Buck’s breath against his neck as he continues to guide Eddie’s hand, both his arms effectively wrapped around Eddie. It’s one of the most intimate things that’s ever happened in Eddie’s life. Buck’s so close to him that he can smell his cologne. It’s musky and woody, reminding Eddie of a forest.

Buck’s lips brush delicately against the shell of Eddie’s ear as he whispers, “you’re a natural”. Eddie lets out a shaky laugh and he lets his hand slip from Buck’s grip, transferring the bow into Buck’s hand.

“I’ve got an excellent teacher” Eddie breathes. He twists around in the seat, vaguely noticing the way Buck’s nose brushes through his hair as he turns, and he faces Buck. His chin is tilted upwards so he can look into Buck’s eyes, and he sees that Buck’s pupils are blown wide, giving his eyes a dark, almost hungry look to them. Buck very gently reaches around Eddie and guides the cello to the ground, placing the bow on its side and Eddie never takes his eyes off Buck, maintaining eye contact the whole time. Buck straightens up and rests his hands on the back of Eddie’s chair. His knuckles brush Eddie’s shoulders and Eddie shivers once again.

“Maybe I need to come over and give you another lesson sometime” Buck’s voice is husky and his eyes flicker to Eddie’s lips and back up again, so fast that Eddie would have missed it if he wasn’t drinking in Buck’s facial expressions.

“I-I’d like that” Eddie’s voice is quiet, and he watches as Buck begins to lean forward, closing the distance between their heads. He can feel Buck’s breath ghosting across his face and he closes his eyes briefly, letting his head fall forward until he feels Buck’s forehead against his.

(no pressure) tagging @theotherbuckley @smilingbuckley @fruitandbubbles @eddiebabygirldiaz @fortheloveofbuddie @monsterrae1 @housewifebuck @disasterbuckdiaz @watchyourbuck @fionaswhvre @evanbegins @malewifediaz @callmenewbie @cal-daisies-and-briars @spagheddiediaz @incorrect9-1-1 @wildlife4life @daffi-990 @wikiangela @loserdiaz

[justafeweggnoodles]

Chaotic Art Journal

(there is nothing else to this, just enjoy some chaotic art made with charcoal, collage and some other things thrown in (im going to kinda explain the spreads / artworks))

Front cover: Watcher eye thing, its going to keep appearing through out so that's something. Text: They are always watching

Inside of cover / Page 1: just the start of the book Text: A collage of thoughts. To begin press X. Entertain Them.

Page 3/4: A list of things I like drawing and some prompts I came up with and didn't do. Text (black scribbles): Mushroom. The Stories we tell, Guide the worlds formation. The ones who watch. Prompts.

Page 5/6: So this was just a cute pastel sketch then the rest of the book was black scribbles so I added some, the writing has to do with the Everything's Interconnected AU but I haven't covered it before. Text: Fairy Floss Duo. The forge burns. The power of knowledge takes.

Page 7/8: soooo um Mr Sunshine from Pikuniku and eyes with pupils made from coins. This was once again originally did not have the black writing. Text: Free Money. He kills YOU. Our perception lies. What do you SEE.

Page 9/10: Cabaret by Penelope Scott lyric reference and my friend's character, Emily. Text: Am I a fucking cabaret to you? Emily.

Page 11/12: OOOO look life series imagery and random photos from the newspaper. Text (the pencil this time cause there is no black text): The canary will always go first. If you stop trying it will burn. You can't escape. They make the rules. There is always the next game. Play again?? Yes. They always watch.

Page 13/14: More lyrics, this time a full 2 page spread of them. They are from Blueprint by Slowly Slowly. Text: Call the cops, somebody stop me. RIP my sick head of off this body. WE are the gods now, we say what goes. Off with the fairies, horns up, eyes closed. 666, just make a wish. Please promise you'll always have time for this. Back to basics, back on our bullshit. I'll get the hang of it. You be my blueprint.

Page 15/16: this is about a character I made to go in the Everything's Interconnected AU. She is from a time right before Kingdomcraft and grew up with the rulers, but she wasn't alive when they ascended to their thrones. What happened to her??? Text: She died before them ALL. The candles guide the souls to HER.

Page 18 (page 17 was blank so I left it out): It is a bit hard to see but here is the girl talked about in page 16 and 17. Text: The Rapids Keeper.

Page 19 / 20: Talking about the watchers with a little bit of front cover thumb nailing visible. Idk what the general consensus is with the life games but I think that the players where taken and have no memory of their home and between games they are in a prison thing. Text: THEY took us from our homes. They are always watching, always.

so that's it. hope u found that interesting. There are more pages left some maybe one day I'll update u guys with what gets made (if it gets made). Now im going to go and try to tag this, which is going to be... interesting.

[dujour13]

OC Kiss Week - day 4

For my friend @cassynite 💜 Ophenia's books line the shelves of my mind palace

Ophenia has to brace her notepad with her elbows because the wind up here keeps trying to snatch it away and scatter its treasures to the Sellen far below.

What a romantic image, she realizes: lost love notes washed out to sea, each a fragment of a great tale of passion someone far away will glimpse, shorn of its context. A gift like a pretty piece of sea glass, the shards of shattered lives littering the sands of—

But she’s losing the thread of the story.

“…and I found myself hanging by my fingertips from the cliff, Ishiar raging against the jagged rocks far below, and all I could think about was how I'd dragged my friends to the Abyss and failed everyone who’d put their trust in me, and this would be a most fitting end and no more than I deserved, and I squeezed my streaming eyes shut and felt my fingers slip - when suddenly a horned shadow loomed over the cliffside! Then my hand was seized and the next thing I knew I was in his arms..."

She glances up from her notepad and her lips quirk. “Really.”

“Pretty much, yeah.” He uses his lilac shirt to wipe down the mouth of the wine bottle and passes it to her. Of course he suggested meeting on the dramatic cliffs outside Kenabres, and of course he didn’t think to bring wine glasses. Which is fine as far as Ophenia is concerned. She accepts the bottle and takes a swig.

“Hanging by the fingertips,” she repeats drily as she notes this down.

“Well, he did save my life.”

“No no, I like it. Don’t mistake me. Please carry on.”

As he does, they watch the sun slowly set over the Rejuvenated Lands.

“The entire Fleshmarket?”

“That part’s true.”

“Mm-hm.”

“It’s getting dark. You want a lift back to town?”

“A lift? Whatever do you mean?”

He gives her a hand up, singing as he does, and a brilliant flash like the sun coming out suddenly illuminates their cliffside picnic spot, and Ophenia finds before her a huge purple dragon with merry eyes and fairy wings.

But like everything, Ophenia takes this in stride. “So this is the baby havoc dragon in question?”

“Am I in question? Is it a good question? I hope it’s a silly question.” Aivu hunkers down and Siavash gives Ophenia a boost onto her back, then settles in behind her and urges Aivu into a thrilling leap off the cliff before they swoop toward the city.

When she’s finally back on solid ground and Aivu has disappeared through a gate to Elysium, Ophenia tries unsuccessfully to tame her windblown hair and refrain from a burst of girlish laughter.

“It’s been a long time since I…”

“Had fun for real?”

She bites her lip, unable to stop smiling.

“You make so many people happy with your stories,” he says, giving her a little kiss on the cheek. “Same time tomorrow? You’ll never believe what happened when we got back to Drezen…”

[mermaidsirennikita]

ARC REVIEW: A Fate Inked in Blood by Danielle L. Jensen

4.5/5. Releases 2/27/24.

Heat Index: 6.5/10.

Vibes: vIKINGS!!!!, slutty guy/serious girl, "oops I'm married to your dad", and legitimately intense battle and magic stuff that actually works and puts people in those heartrending situations where it's all "STAY ALIVE!!!!! I WILL FIND YOU!!!!!!!!!" as it should in a FANTASY ROMANCE

Married to a man she hates and hiding the fact that she's the child of a minor goddess (children of gods are a Thing in this world) Freya lives a life of drudgery. Until, that is, her secret is revealed to all and Jarl Snorri declares that she's a prophesied shieldmaiden, meant to clinch him the kingdom he's always wanted. As such, she must marry him--kind of an issue, as she is very, very attracted to Snorri's son Bjorn. Another issue: Bjorn has been bound to Freya as her protector. On top of everything, Freya's goddess-given abilities are obscure but dangerous, leading her to wonder if her fate is less that of a protector than that of a monster...

OOOOH WE'VE GOT SOMETHING HERE. I've read Danielle L. Jensen before, way back in the day with her Malediction books--but those were YA (albeit, pretty hot YA) and I really don't read YA anymore. However, I do like Viking Shit, and I especially liked the idea of a romance between a Viking lady and her husband's SON, which was something I always wanted to happen on Vikings. So I picked it up.

And dude. It sucked me right in. I am, as I will get into more below, kind of a hard sell on fantasy romance--when it works, I am HOOKED but when it doesn't I am quickly turned off. This is the former. I was so drawn to Freya, a heroine who does have Chosen One aspects, but is also very human and just trying to make it work, one battle at a time. (Also? She's not instantly gREAT at fighting, how refreshing.) And I absolutely fell head over heels dumb girl for our hero Bjorn, who I expected to be a stoic silent warrior type. NO. He's so much better. He's like, an amazing warrior--but is also so funny and super slutty and just a BRO. I love him. Protect him.

The fantasy plot is compelling and doesn't get so in love with itself that it's impossible to follow. It's really good! I'm excited by this! Can't wait for the next! (What a relief, God.)

Quick Takes:

Here's my issue with fantasy romance (or romantasy, though I'll point out that this series is billed as "fantasy romance" on Netgalley, and that is so HOT to me): often, though the name implies that it's a subgenre of romance with a heavy fantasy bent... It's basically fantasy (well-done or not) with a romance subplot tucked in. The character work is shoddy, the tension is nil, and you can tell that the author is just trying to horn in on the romance audience. Not so, here. 

First off, I think Jensen was really smart to create a fantasy world that is very "Vikings But Fantasy". It's not poorly drawn. You can tell that she's really into the Norse vibe, and I will say that I am biased because as someone who has somehow been watching the Vikings franchise since its inception (pray for me) I'm fairly familiar with it on that level. But the way she weaves the fantasy elements, most distinctly the idea of these empowered children of gods (who are basically made when their mortal parents HAVE THREESOMES WITH GODS??? Amazing. Just imagine having these superpowers and knowing that it's because your parents took some dude home from the bar one night and he turned out to be Thor.) into the story is really natural.

Secondly... There is a really compelling plot, yes. I am really into the duality of Freya, don't get me wrong. I really like the royal intrigue. All the WIFE DRAMA. It's My Brand. But the real heart of this story, very openly and honestly and presented without any self-consciousness, is Freya and Bjorn. And I think Jensen just lays it all out there the moment she introduces the brilliant plot device of "Bjorn's Dad, Who Freya Is Technically Married To, Wants Bjorn To Follow Freya Around And Make Sure She Doesn't Get Into Danger". Oh, so he's supposed to protect her as she hurtles into adventure and fights Viking zombies and shit? HOW CONVENIENT. Throughout the story, their immediate physical attraction melts into this emotional slow burn... and I am also a hard sell on a slow burn, so thank you for doing it right, Danielle. The book is single POV (Freya's, though I wouldn't mind Bjorn's in a future installment) but you can just tell that Bjorn is so mad that he's this into a woman who is technically his stepmother. Like, he can have anyone! But he wants HER. But he can't have her! 

Picture me gobbling this up like a raccoon in a trash can.

--Speaking of! If you're all "ew, I hate that Freya is married to his dad"--no spoilers, but this is dealt with in a way that I think both avoids the ick that some readers (to be clear: not me, I am very resistant to ick) may feel over that setup, and avoids a copout. 

At the same time... First off, Bjorn doesn't fully know that the ick has been avoided, and to be frank, I don't think Bjorn really cares about a little ick. But he does have like, you know, the "WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME" vibe for a while, and it is delicious. All very illicitaffairs.mp3.

--I also really loved that there is no mistake about Freya being a GROWN WOMAN. I strongly, strongly object to shelving this as New Adult, because regardless of her age, Freya (and honestly Bjorn as well) has been through a lot. She's literally married when we open this novel. She gets a second husband. She is not a virgin; her marriage was not chaste; it sucked. (To be clear: you don't get a lot of insight into Freya's first marriage beyond "it sucked" because it's dealt with pretty quickly. You don't see any sexual assault on the page in this book, and I don't know that Freya would see it that way? It's alluded to as "lie back and think of England" bad, gross sex, which I think suggests assault, but there is not any explicit violence, sexual or otherwise, depicted in either of her marriages.) She is JADED. She has never had a man like, take care of her.

And then she gets linked up with local dude who's snarking at her horrible husband about how he must not go down on her enough, and she's all "WHAT'S THAT MEAN :/". I really, really enjoy a pairing that involves a tough woman who's never been properly taken care of and a man who's like "I am DESPERATE to take care of you". Freya deserves!

--Another good choice: often, in fantasy romance (or at least in fantasy romance of yore; I feel like there has been a recent push to correct this, at least somewhat) the heroine is hypercompetent. She's smart, she's a good fighter, she's a femme fatale, she's the seventeen-year-old master assassin...

Freya is... a person. She does want to fight, and she is--not surprisingly, as she does come from a culture in which women do fight--not incapable of holding her own. Somewhat. But as soon as she's up against a master warrior like Bjorn, she's kind of not great, Bob, and even with the benefit of her goddess-given abilities, she still has a lot to learn. It's giving "Book One Aang", and I'm good with that. I'm actually much happier with her giving Book One Aang as a twenty-something woman because like? Give us hope, Freya.

She also doesn't have all the answers. Frankly, Freya doesn't have 80% of the answers, and she shouldn't, because she's new to this. She's new to the magic stuff (though she knew she had it, which I did like--she's not an Alina Starkov-level "WHAAAT" about it) and she's new to the court intrigue, and frankly she's new to Hot Dudes. Speaking of, she does spend a decent amount of brain time going "STOP! STOP, SELF! DO NOT LOOK! DO NOT TOUCH!" Which, frankly, I loved. I feel like that's the kind of behavior people are going to be annoying about because people are dying, but like. This woman just spent years surrounded by Village 2's and suddenly she's being swung around and guarded by a very flirtatious Royal 12. Give her a break. I would be much worse. 

And she doesn't know what the hell she's doing with this man. She knows the mechanics, but she doesn't know the FINESSE. Speaking of...

The Sex:

The reason why I'm between a 6 and a 7 on this (and that's not quality, that's literally just how hot the book is re: sex acts) is that the story is a slow burn. Everything sexy happens in the back half, and you don't get to the full shebang until pretty late in the game. It's ABOUT THE YEARNING.

However, I think this was a good choice, and when we do get those scenes they are super hot (and explicit, though not like Sierra Simone explicit to be clear) and passionate and you definitely get the sense that it's this giant deal for these two. I was quite touched. I was like "awww" but also "oh" which is where I want to be when a story builds to two people hooking up for that long.

And Jensen fully takes advantage of the "Vikings" component and does have some "under the sleeping furs with 76 people sleeping in the near vicinity but we just need to get this done" action here. Which. Brava.

I'll be honest--I was worried about this, as I feel like I've been let down by a great fantasy romance in the past. I, much like several people in this novel, have been burned before. Not so here. I'm fully on board. I loved where we left off, and I cannot wait to see where those two crazy kids go next. Hopefully, like. To Vikings divorce court. So she can end that marriage to his dad.

Thanks to Netgalley and Del Rey for providing me with a copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

Preorder:

Amazon

B&N

Bookshop.org

[chaos-is-beautifvl]

𝐢 𝐬𝐩𝐲 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐞𝐲𝐞...

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: eddie munson x fem!reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: you think your “tiny” crush on one d&d-playing, ring-wearing, poodle-rivaling brunet goes unnoticed until you’re confronted in a pizzeria of all places

𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠: fluff, cursing (possible overuse of ‘shit’), excessive and shameless but respectful staring lol, dustin being a good wingman (wingboy? idk), mike being a little shit, & mentions of weed

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 3370

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: didn’t think i’d be joining the eddie munson band wagon but he and joseph quinn have stolen my heart & won’t give it back || i just finished vol. 2 … i am not okay 😀 i hope you enjoy & feedback is golden so let me know what you think! feel free to send me a request, guidelines here

buy me a coffee ☕️!

Eddie is different. And not because of his long hair with fluffy curls that could rival a poodle. Not because of his affinity for using his hands to make devil horns in that same poodle-rivaling hair. Not because he likes D&D, smokes weed, or does any of the other bullshit people find a reason to dislike.

Eddie is just different. But in the best way possible.

Like Steve, you had been roped in as mother hen number two, caring for the little troublemakers. It was comical how often they came looking to you for help when the other mother pawned them off on you, dubbing it “your weekend”.

It didn’t bother you. Like at all. In fact, you were more than comfortable with playing house. You would like to say that it’s because you have nothing else to do, but that is only partially true. There are a million and one other things you could be doing than waiting to catch a glimpse of Eddie “the freak” Munson.

And, yeah, maybe you are paying too much attention to someone who has hardly shown you interest; but life is short. Why not spend your time ogling?

You ogle discreetly - you never stare for longer than three seconds. Also, you always try your hardest to stay engaged in the ongoing conversation to not draw unwanted attention. While it may be a bit much, the plan is yours, and well, it works.

At least, it usually did. You blame the kids. The day had been chock-full of taking the little gremlins two towns over to get their sticky paws on the latest version of a video game, which resulted in your car breaking down. Then you had to get it towed and blah, blah, blah. Needless to say, your day had not exactly gone to plan.

Your day was a bit stressful, and who wants to feel stressed? Certainly not you. So, to feel better, you do what you have to. And it does its job. You decide to allow yourself more than three seconds to stare respectfully. What? You still have manners.

Staring at Eddie is like going to an art museum. You stare at the art because it captivates you, right? In your defense, Eddie Munson had captivated your attention on more than one occasion.

The thunking of the dice rolling on the table was followed by a collective groan. The frustration gave you the perfect opportunity to look back at Eddie. His head was tilted back in a hearty laugh as what he previously predicted came to bite the group in their asses. You wanted to feel bad for the kids, but he did warn them, so whatever happened was their fault. 

You were too busy window shopping to hear the repeated calls of your name. You pulled yourself out of your daydreaming, noticing Eddie staring at you. Wait... Not just staring at you. Eddie was staring at you, staring at him.

You quickly turned your gaze away from his brown eyes, praying to whatever higher power was out there he hadn’t seen you ogling him the entire time. Clearing your throat, you turned to Dustin, “Yeah, what’s up?”

“Uhh, nothing.” The words came out way too fast, and you furrowed your eyebrows. Obviously, nothing meant there was something.

“Okay...” You felt your eyes drifting over to the brunet, poodle-rivaling D&D player. Before you could embarrass yourself any further, you stood up, the scraping of your chair against the floor directing all attention to you. Yeah, not really the effect you were going for.

“You guys hungry?” Simple. Effective. Mom hen-ish.

The group sang choruses of yes and omg, I’m starving. So, naturally, you were spared humiliation when you took a vote and landed on pizza. They were nearing the end of their campaign, and you knew they would be both hungry and tired afterward.

Just before you made it out the door, Mike called you back. You sighed, hoping he wasn’t trying to change the pizza order. What he said instead took you by surprise. “How are you gonna get there? I mean, your car is toast - like burnt toast. Like really burnt."

You narrowed your eyes, resisting the urge to roll them. Why did he feel the impending need to remind you of the hot shit you were already wading through? Michael Wheeler, everybody! The kid who gives no fucks!

“I can just get it,” Eddie suggested, leaning forward with elbows resting on the table. His hair was released from its ponytail - if it could even be considered one with its looseness. You found yourself staring a bit too long, directing your attention back to his face, where you discovered a cocked brow and tiny smirk tugging at his lips.

“Or!” Dustin shrugged, tilting his head back and forth. “You could just go together.” He sent a slightly sympathetic look to his older friend, “No offense, Eds, but you’re pretty shit at remembering things. Besides, who is gonna help you with all those boxes?” Dustin did an enthusiastic drum roll on the table, smiling, “Y/N! She’s pretty strong.”

-

You were trying to be strong; you really were. The ride into town was awkward, putting it mildly. You realized that it may have seemed rude to have your entire body facing the door and not to say a word, but being in a tight space, so close, you were trying your hardest not to stare.

Once the pizza place came into view, you quickly hopped out of the van as soon as he unlocked the doors. Your feet dragged you over to the entrance before you could stop them, and you felt bad when he reached over and held the door open for you.

You muttered a small thanks. Any more words, you would probably have exposed your silly little crush. 

It was mostly empty, and you took your time staring at the posters and writings on the walls, attempting to not stare at the one thing (or one person, to be exact) you should not be looking at.

But eventually, like they usually did, your eyes wandered over, and you found yourself staring at Eddie again. It was beginning to become a problem at this point. And that was further proven when he started talking.

“Hey, Paul, how ya doing? So we’ll get two...” Eddie squinted his eyes, tapping the counter with his fingers as if that would speed up the recollection process.

You snapped out of your stupor and stepped forward. “Hi, could you get us four pepperoni pizzas and one supreme?”

“Right.” Eddie clasped his hands together, nodding like he was the one who remembered, not you. “Four pepperonis and one supreme. Right, right, right.”

Paul jotted it down on his tiny notepad. Not looking up, he mumbled the price, and Eddie stopped you when you went to pull out your wallet.

Leaning on the counter with his elbows and hair sweeping over his shoulders, he flashed a grin at the boy. “Paul, my man, you remember that time you got some-” 

The brunet glanced at you, “substances... a.k.a. weed from me." Eddie coughed, whispering the words out. “And, you didn’t pay because your mom took away your allowance since you wouldn’t clean your room? Remember how I let it slide?”

Paul looked around the pizzeria nervously, hoping no one was listening. Once the coast was clear, he nodded, swallowing.

“Yeah, well, now is the time to pay. Soooo,” Eddie tapped his fingers on the counter as he straightened. “We’re gonna get these pizzas on the house, and you don’t have to worry ‘bout paying me back. Cool with you? Great! Go get ‘em, bud.” He patted Paul on the shoulder, sending him scurrying away to the back.

You watched the entire exchange with wide eyes. There was something so wildly attractive about Eddie taking charge, even if he couldn’t remember a simple pizza order. You thanked him quietly, again sure that if you said another word, it would be your inevitable downfall.

A silence settled over the two of you. Continuing to stare at the art on the walls and the work of art standing right next to you, you tried to recollect yourself. Though Eddie was probably a gift from whatever higher power was out there, your obsession was getting out of hand.

Sure, he might be nice to look at, but you weren’t some middle schooler who just figured out what crushes were and how exciting they could be. You were older and more rational and-

Before your affirmations could take off, a voice pulled you back to the present. You turned to see Eddie facing you. He chuckled softly, noticing that you weren’t paying attention to a word. You were stuck up in your head somewhere.

“Sorry, what?” You felt sheepish. Not only had you repeatedly stared at him like he was on display with you watching through the window to see if you wanted to try him on, but he had caught you doing so. Your zoning out and ignoring him was the cherry on the insurmountable pile of shit you were digging your way out of. If there was even a tiny chance in hell that Eddie was interested in you, it was now flushed down the drain for how rude you have been. 

“I said, do you wanna sit down? Probably be a while till Paulie boy is done, and I’m sure you wouldn’t want to stand the entire time.” He shrugged, “Or, maybe you do. Who knows?”

“No, sitting sounds good.”

It wasn’t. The first couple of minutes were treacherously slow. Maybe your communication skills were terrible or maybe your eyes couldn’t stop staring at the tiles on the floor. Either way, the silent thing was not working, and you honestly felt so bad that Eddie had to put up with you.

Apparently, Eddie was as discontent with the awkward silence as you were. After humming and tapping his fingers on the table to a song oddly resembling Cherry Bomb by The Runaways, he leaned forward.

“Let’s play a game.”

A what? “Huh...” was your dumb reply. In your defense, you were still stuck on him knowing that song. Doesn’t he only listen to metal? At least, that’s what you heard during your stalking hours, which are anytime you two were in the same vicinity.

His laugh caught you off guard, but in a pleasant way. “God, you really are in your head a lot, aren’t you?” Warmth rushed to your face, and you suddenly felt like he had placed a spotlight directly on you.

“I- uh- I’m not-” You are so embarrassing. That thought was followed with a mental facepalm because what the hell were you saying.

“I’m sorry. That must be pretty annoying. What game did you have in mind?” Good, there you go. Normal speaking like a normal human.

Eddie watched you with interest, rolling his lips so the amusement begging to show would remain hidden. Ignoring the laughter bubbling in his throat, he made a circle with his hand and put it to his eye.

“Let’s play I Spy...”

You stared blankly for a few seconds, letting it marinate. Eddie was humming a song suspiciously similar to something you would have never guessed the brunet to be into. He also wanted to play a game. With a tilt of your head, you expressed your bamboozlement.

“What?”

“Oh, okay. You don’t know- Basically, the way the game works is someone finds something and-“

You held up a hand, halting his speaking as you chuckled. “I know what I Spy... is, Eddie. I just- You actually wanna play that? Or are you, I don’t know, just trying to fill the silence?”

He stared at you quizzically, and you figured you had said too much until he shook his head. 

“Nope, I wanna play. So, you in, daydreamer?”

“Sure.” Why not? What could possibly go wrong? 

And the game began. First, it was small things like something black and white. The floor tiles. Or something red. That one took Eddie a second because the two of you were in a pizza place where almost everything was red. But it was the jukebox collecting dust in the corner.

Then, things took a turn for the worst. Well, correction, they weren’t that bad (only slightly), but boy, did they take you by surprise. 

Eddie was next, and you were a bit nervous as he had given you surprisingly difficult, specific things to find. His brown eyes looked around the pizzeria before they landed on you, accompanied by a mischievous glint and a conspiratorial grin.

“I spy...” Eddie paused for dramatic effect, putting you on the edge of your seat, “with my little eye...”The brunet winked at you, and you mentally cursed whatever higher power created him. One simple gesture had you wishing you could stop window shopping, go into that metaphorical store, and take him home.

“A person.”

...

Is he serious?

“Wearing black.”

Is he talking about himself or...?

“Who is always stuck in their head.”

That’s oddly specific.

“And...” His grin morphed into a smirk as he squinted his eyes at you. You doubt he realized he was enunciating the purpose of the game. “Andddd is a little stalker.”

Can you guess who he’s talking about? Ding, ding, ding. You! We have a winner! Or maybe, this isn’t as much of a win, considering your crush (ahem, obsession) was just exposed.

“I can totally explain-” Could I, though? “I am so sorry.” That was partially true. You felt bad but who wouldn’t want to stare at Eddie Munson. “God, you must think I’m such a creep.”

Your worried rambling was cut short by the most angelic sound - Eddie’s laughing. You wished the ground would open up and swallow you whole. He was laughing at you. Laughing. You swear you have never felt as embarrassed in all your years.

“I think I’m just gonna go...”

Wait, how am I going to get home? Walk? Nah, too far. Hitchhike? Too dangerous. I’ve seen enough TV and newspapers warning against that to try it myself. I may be obsessive, but I’m not stupid. Wait, maybe I could-

Eddie covered his mouth, attempting to hide his laughter behind his hand. He shook his head, his face tinting red as he composed himself. “No, no. You’re- God-” He started laughing again. “You’re just, uh- it’s kinda cute, you know?”

Cute...?

He interrupted before you could ask what exactly that meant. “You probably think you’re pretty discreet, right?” Well, you did at first. But now, it was obvious that you had not been. “It’s just- it’s kinda obvious. Like the whole looking, then looking away, and the whole daydreaming thing.”

Oh. Were you really that obvious?

“C’mon, don’t be so embarrassed.” Eddie peeled your palms off your face. You looked up to see a wondrous sight. His face was reddened from all the laughing, and a wide grin had broken through the surface.

“Don’t be-” You pulled your hands away, pouting as you slumped in your seat. “Of course, I’m embarrassed, Eddie. You weren’t supposed to find out.”

This was torture.

“So, if I hadn’t called you out on it, you would keep doing it?” He caught you there.

“Well- um...” There was no way for redemption, so you shut your mouth. It was bad enough that he’d caught you, and you definitely didn’t want to make the situation even worse because your mouth wouldn’t stop moving.

Eddie watched your internal battle with an overly amused interest. Had the situation been different, you probably would have given him a piece of your mind. Instead, you sat in your seat, brows furrowed and lip jutting out as you tried to alleviate the sticky mess you found yourself in. 

“Look, Eddie, I’m sorry, really.” You took in a breath, “I completely understand why you might be creeped out and-”

“Hold on, wait.”

You stopped talking, finally turning to look at him. And, no, not like that. You were too embarrassed to enjoy the view. 

“You don’t think I’m actually mad, do you?" Your silence elicited an incredulous look from the brunet. “Do you?” A halfhearted shrug was your reply.

Sensing your embarrassment, Eddie stifled his laughing for real this time, ducking his head to look at you. All your previous thoughts about not being a crush-obsessed middle schooler were flushed down the clogged drain of your problems. It was silly, but you wanted to cry at how embarrassed and, quite frankly, mortified you felt. 

“Hey... you know I’m just messing around, right?” He scoffed, “Hell, I’m an attention whore so all your staring is going straight to my big ego. Do you realize that?”

A soft chuckle and a shake of your head made Eddie smile. “No, really. I’ve just been soaking it up. I’m a real glutton for praise, but hey, maybe next time, you should ask me out before undressing me with your eyes.”

You gawked at him, finally meeting his gaze. While you weren’t expecting him to be okay with it, it was an even bigger shock for him to say that.

It seemed that the gods or whoever was out there decided to end your misery. Or, they were sick and tired of you embarrassing yourself. Either way, Paul set the pizzas on the counter, calling the two of you over. 

“Oh, would you look at that? Our pizzas are done. I’m gonna go get them...” You mumbled out the last couple of words as you hurried to the counter like a dog with its tail between its legs.

Eddie watched in astonishment and amusement as you somehow bundled up all five pizza boxes in your arms, kicking the door open with your foot.

Dustin wasn’t kidding about you being pretty strong. Not that five pizza boxes are a whole lot. But still, Eddie was impressed.

He turned to Paul, who was wearing a similar look. “She’s pretty cool, huh?”

Paul could only nod, rubbing the back of his neck. Before the boy went to answer the ringing phone, he muttered and shook his head, “They make an odd couple.”

-

The two of you made it back, Eddie carrying most of the boxes (which he said was part of him making up for the immense teasing). You weren’t as discreet with your staring now. Why would you be? The cat was out of the bag, and you had a pending date with the person who opened it.

Dustin, who sported a shit-eating grin, remarked how Eddie could drive you around until your car was fixed. You realized that the little shit had orchestrated the whole thing. Not the car breaking down, but you and Eddie going together. You weren’t complaining, though.

A week or so later and the date came. When Eddie picked you up, you asked if you could play some music. In the glovebox where he kept all his cassettes and CDs was a mixtape with a song you knew all too well.

If you couldn’t guess, it was Cherry Bomb by the Runaways. Yeah, you aren’t letting that one go anytime soon.

[xpao-bearx]

"Partners In Crime"

Officer Callahan x Bad Girl!Reader

SUMMARY: As the resident "bad girl" of Hawkins, you truly only want one thing: to get into the pants of the resident dorky and dedicated police officer, Phil Callahan (and hey, maybe steal his heart too!).

NOTES: I recently just finished Stranger Things and yeah, great show, but have you SEEN the men??? 👀 Anyhoe, being the ✨️whore✨️ that I am, it really comes as no surprise that I'm simping over all the hot dudes but one of the hotties I've become obsessed with is CRIMINALLY underrated 😭

And so, of course, I took this grave offense ✨️personally✨️ and wrote this lil piece! Though I can't really call it little because it is SHOCKINGLY long (for me) and I sacrificed hours upon hours of sleep 🥲 But hey, when Phil fucking Callahan (and his gorgeous actor John Reynolds) makes you horny and inspired, YOU👏SEIZE👏THE👏GODDAMN👏MOMENT👏

If it isn't already obvious, this fic contains 18+ SMUT AND MATURE CONTENT and it gets preeetty steamy if I do say so myself~ It's also set roughly around Season 2, and I say roughly cuz I suck at remembering plots and shit so I just went with the flow 😅 And as always, PLEASE don't be a silent reader! Likes, comments, and reblogs are VERY much encouraged and appreciated!! \(^o^)/

I hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing this baby! This is my first ever humble contribution to the ST fandom and, who knows, MAYBE not my last ;)

In the small town of Hawkins, you were popular as the "bad girl". You were loud, headstrong, and constantly got into trouble--completely unlike any of the "proper" ladies that talked shit behind your back. But the trouble you caused, despite the chaos it unfailingly left behind, was never anything actually hurtful. Hell, you were even caught a few times using your colourful language to make some middle school children cry when you saw them bullying some poor boys (one of them, you remember, being the Wheelers' son who always looked like trouble followed him himself).

A bad girl with a golden heart; a cheesy, living cliché. But that's what you were. You just wanted to have fun, to live in the moment. But in this bumfuck town where pretty much nothing happens before that Byers kid mysteriously disappeared then reappeared, how could anyone really blame you for trying to stir shit up simply for your own entertainment and for your damn sanity?

But some of the locals knew you on a personal level. Particularly, the Hawkins Police Department. Before you stumbled upon Hawkins a few years ago, you were a drifter; chasing after the high of wherever life would take you, free yet lost. Whether it was by chance or by fate, you only stopped at Hawkins to fuel up your motorcycle and have a quick bite at the local diner until suddenly--like something out of those fucking romcoms your mother used to watch--you met him.

Phil Callahan. He was only a rookie officer at the time, having not even grown out his beloved moustache yet. You noticed his police cruiser parked at the gas station with an evident bump on the front of the car. He was fuelling up, but his hand holding the pump was limp and he was as pale as a ghost; eyes comically wide behind his horn-rimmed glasses, brunette locks tousled and sticking out every which way after frantically running his free hand through it god knows how many times.

And staring at this clearly stressed, slightly pathetic man, all you could think was: HOT.

Before your brain could process what you were doing (though, let's be honest, you never really used your brain much in most of your life decisions), you found your feet walking away from your bike of their own accord and towards him.

Once you were by his side, it's only then that you realized just how tall he was. So much taller. He easily towered over you and it made your mind drift to other, much less innocent thoughts.

Namely him bending you over his car and fucking you within an inch of your sorry excuse of a life.

"Can I help you?" Your head snapped up from the stranger's voice, eyes meeting his narrowed ones. And--dammit!--he was much more unfairly handsome up close. His light brown eyes reflected almost green, raising a suspicious brow at you as his lips pressed into a tight line.

"Sorry, Officer--" Your gaze strayed to his shiny name tag, a grin tugging up the corners of your mouth. "--Callahan. I just couldn't help but notice you. You look like you just died inside, man."

His brows furrowed, glancing over his shoulder to the bump on his car before quickly darting back to you. "Thanks for your concern, ma'am, but I'm fine. Nothing a civilian should be worried about, anyway."

"If you don't mind--" You piped up once more as he set the pump away. "I think it's got something to do with that nasty bump ya got there, huh?"

"Uh, okay, actually I do mind." He sighed exasperatedly, no longer able to hide his growing aggravation. Today was just not his day, it seemed. "Ma'am, like I said, it is none of your concern." He put on his police hat, tipping it to you. "Good day."

As he turned away from you, you sidestepped him so that you were in front of him again. Your grin was much bigger this time, practically reaching your ears. "Uh-oh, are you in trouble, Mr. Policeman~?" You purred, one hand reaching out and playfully drumming your fingers along his chest. You intently studied him from head to toe, as if admiring an artistic masterpiece before biting your lip and giggling. "Lemme guess... You're a young, new police officer who doesn't know any better. You got so excited driving a police car for the first time that you drove it a bit too fast and crashed into a tree or some shit. Sound about right?"

His face flushed scarlet, and you weren't sure if it was from the shame of having his dumbass misdemeanor exposed or from your fingers making a shiver run down his spine--probably both.

"How do you--"

"This ain't exactly my first time having a lil run-in with the law, so I know how men like you work." You winked. "Hey, tell ya what, how 'bout I help you? You can tell your other piggy buddies that I'm some crazy bitch with anger issues you caught for speeding and in my oh so scary rage, I purposely crashed my motorbike to the front of your car just to fuck with you. You can even put cuffs on me~"

He blinked, utterly dumbstruck as he stared down at the total menace that was you (and the fact that a certain part of him reacted at you graciously allowing him to cuff you), feeling like forever until he finally found his voice that cracked slightly as he spoke. "Who the fuck are you?"

"Y/N L/N." You hummed, wrapping your arms around his neck as you leaned up on your tiptoes and dangled slightly off of him with the few inches left between the two of you. The sudden action caught him completely off guard, his hands dropping to your hips to support you and making him blush even redder. But you didn't care, smiling mischievously up at him. "Feel free to search me up in the system, Officer. I've got a permanent record, after all~"

And that's how you met Jim Hopper, Calvin Powell, and the rest of the Hawkins Police Department when Callahan brought you with him back to the station. They definitely didn't believe you guys, especially when you didn't have a single scratch on you that indicated you "crashed your bike to his vehicle" (Callahan cleaned up your choice of wording a bit). But it was amusing to see Callahan dragging you along in handcuffs, who appeared all too joyful with a shit-eating smile as if you just won the lottery. Meanwhile, Callahan's cheeks were flaming hot and his voice adopted to a nervous high pitch as he lied to everyone who were just barely containing their laughter.

It also wasn't long before you decided to settle into Hawkins in some shitty trailer park, but you couldn't really complain considering your drifting years weren't all sunshine and rainbows either.

Besides, Callahan made it all worth it.

It wasn't love at first sight, but there was absolutely attraction. Hell, you were practically (if not literally) throwing yourself at him during your first encounter, and after that it would be the same--if not more intense.

You were no stranger to trouble, but often times you would seek for trouble yourself on purpose just so you could wind up in the police station to bother--ahem, I mean, very persistently try to hang out with Callahan. Or you'd just go to the station despite having no business there, but Flo the secretary usually kicked you out before you had the chance to even lay eyes on the gorgeous four eyes.

Today, however, Flo wasn't there. You didn't believe in some higher power, but it was a fucking miracle that you were grateful for and didn't dare to question. And so you more than happily made yourself at home in the station, sitting down at Callahan's desk as you curiously pried into his stuff before a deep laugh from behind you broke you out of your little reverie.

"This is just ridiculous now, Y/N." Hopper shot you an incredulous though very much amused expression. "If you like Callahan so much--which I have no fucking idea why--then just ask him out on a date already."

It was no secret that Hopper can be a total grump, but oddly enough you became fast friends with him. He never gave you a hard time and you never bullshitted him, which in turn formed a weird sort of respect between the two of you.

You rolled your eyes at the huge man, turning back to Callahan's desk and inspecting his assortment of pens--which you thought was way too much and he probably doesn't even use all of them, but that only amped up his dorkish charm to you by, like, a thousand.

"You're one to talk, Hop." You scoffed, snatching a pen and beginning to click it continuously. "I bet your hand's tired from jerking off to Joyce Byers."

Hopper scowled, but a faint rosiness dusted his cheeks. "Okay, first off--" Click. "I do not jerk off to Joyce--" Click. "and unlike you--" Click. "I actually have the balls to ask her out--" Click. "she just hasn't--" Click. "WILL YOU STOP FUCKING CLICKING THAT GODDAMN PEN?!"

You didn't even flinch, casually stashing the pen away in your pocket before you stood and faced him. "Enough about you." You huffed, crossing your arms as your eyes levelled with his. Hopper may as well be a living brick wall walking around ready to punch whoever crossed him, but you were never intimidated by the chief of police whom you've admittedly grown a soft spot for. "Callahan on for patrol duty tonight?"

"Yeah, and you owe me big time." He frowned when you blatantly ignored him, but what was new? "I need as much manpower as I can get to investigate what the hell's going on with the pumpkin patches yet here I am, like a fucking idiot, helping to set you and Callahan up."

"You looove me~" You teased, patting his shoulder and granting him a Cheshire Cat-like grin. "This is all for a good cause, big guy. And just think, the sooner Callahan and I get together, the faster I'll be outta your hair!" You chuckled. "And hey, you're thinking too much into those pumpkin patches. Probably just some pumpkin farmers having a pumpkin war. Go big or gourd home, am I right?"

Hopper watched as you laughed obnoxiously loud at your stupid pun, looking so proud of yourself as little snorts wracked your smaller frame and your shoulders shook from sheer glee. He shook his head, sighing heavily to himself.

"God, I actually feel kinda bad for Callahan..."

•••♡•••

Night couldn't fall any quicker, but once it finally did your entire body was practically bursting with excitement like a child who's about to go out for trick or treating.

You hopped onto your bike, revving up the engine and driving even more maniacally than your Munson neighbour did out of the trailer park. You didn't even keep track anymore of how fast you were going, your hair flying as you raced down the road and were greeted by Halloween decorations strewn about in various houses' lawns.

A few minutes later, you found yourself on the empty road leading out of Hawkins. And just as you predicted--had hoped--the shrill blare of a siren sliced through the air and the all too familiar red and blue lights nearly blinded your vision as a police cruiser followed close on your tail.

You couldn't suppress the giddy grin that tore across your face, slowing down by the side of the road and the car pulling up next to you.

The butterflies in your stomach were doing fucking somersaults now as you heard the car door open and shut close, boots thudding on the ground as your favourite officer approached.

"Well, well, well... Lookie who we have here~?" The singsong voice made your grin widen even more if it was possible, making your cheeks hurt. The beam from a flashlight hit your eyes, and once your sight adjusted there was none other than Callahan, staring down at you with his pretty brown eyes. "If it isn't Lil Miss Trouble."

"Cally!" You giggled like some lovesick schoolgirl, and if we were being honest, you pretty much acted like you are. "Fancy seeing you here~ Halloween ain't 'til tomorrow, so why are ya out on patrol?"

"Beats me." He shrugged. "The chief suddenly put me on duty. Also, you know how much I hate that nickname." He grimaced, turning the flashlight off. It was quite dark, but you could still see him well enough due to a lone street lamp a couple feet away. "Get off."

His sudden commanding tone sent a shiver down your spine, a certain part of you getting wet. And it didn't help that you decided to forgo panties, your slick coating the seat of your bike. You then jumped off, your breasts bouncing slightly. This action didn't go unnoticed by him, his eyes dropping to your chest and trailing down your figure until his gaze landed on your skirt--if it could even be called that.

You were wearing a leather mini skirt that left little to the imagination, hugging your curves just right and showing off your thighs. He thought that if you made one wrong move, you'd flash him your panties; of course, not knowing you weren't even wearing any.

"Did I ever tell you how much I love your moustache?" You purred, heart leaping when he went speechless and his mouth hung agape.

His eyes flicked back up to meet yours, snapping out of his trance. "Only the first hundred times." He then cleared his throat, pointing an accusatory finger at you with a hand placed on his hip like a parent scolding their child. "Flattery won't work on me, Y/N. Do you know how fast you were going? And why weren't you wearing a helmet?"

"I know I was going pretty fucking fast!" You guffawed. "As for not wearing a helmet, well, what can I say? I don't like feeling restricted. I like being free. If I could, I'd totally go naked."

You saw his Adam's apple bob as he gulped at your emphasis of "naked", a death grip on his flashlight as his jaw squared. "That's public indecency." He stated simply. He was getting better dealing with you, but the ever so slight crack in his voice was a telltale sign that you still very much had an intoxicating, beguiling effect on him. "And where the hell were you going? Were you...leaving Hawkins?"

You didn't miss the plaintive way he had asked the question, your heart melting. He cared for you. No matter how much trouble you caused everyone, caused him... He would still check up on you, and you even caught him several times keeping watch outside of your trailer when Will Byers went missing a year ago. He claimed that the police were patrolling every nook and cranny after the kid's disappearance, but you never saw Hopper or anyone else guarding other people's homes like how Callahan did yours.

"I'm not leaving, Phil." You breathed out, nothing more than a whisper as you looked up at him; serious, for once. Because as boring as this town was, you've grown fond of it. And Callahan played a big part in that and even if you weren't together, he was the closest to home that you've ever felt in a long fucking time.

He searched your face for any lies, brown eyes soft before a genuine smile graced his features. "You better not, Lil Miss Trouble." A beat passed between the two of you, breaths mingling together and you only just realized how close you both were standing to each other. He had you caged against your bike, and you had to strain your neck just to be eye level with the tall man.

Then something in his expression shifted, and soon he was drawing away from you. "W-Well, I'm gonna let you off with a warning. Just this once, though! Think of it as thanks for that time--" You cut off his rambling when you reached out, grabbing his hand.

"I didn't leave." You declared, an almost pleading tone in your voice. "So don't leave either, Phil."

For what felt like a dreadful eternity, you were swallowed by a deafening silence. You, who was usually so confident, found your will breaking with each passing second. Your grasp softened until you let go, feeling your heart sink to your stomach.

"...Forget it. Thanks, Cal--" But you couldn't finish; because in a blink of an eye, his lips were on yours. It was brief, feather light. But the chaste peck made your heart explode, and you didn't even question if this was just one of your silly fantasies. It felt too real--too good.

He slowly pulled away, resting his forehead against yours and his warm breath tickling your nose. "I'm not leaving." He murmured, such beautiful, sincere greenish brown eyes locking with yours. "I'm not leaving you, Y/N."

You felt tears prickle your eyes, but before you would ever allow them to fall you wrapped your arms around his neck and nuzzled your nose with his. "Then prove it." And you crashed your lips with his, this time fiercely, passionately. You felt the rough brush of his moustache, but that only made everything feel astoundingly better.

He finally closed the gap between you two, looming over you, the flashlight clattering to the ground as his much larger hands clutched on to your hips before he easily lifted you and plopped you down on your bike's seat. You wrapped your legs around his waist, nipping on his bottom lip that elicited a gasp from him which you gladly took as the opportunity to slide your tongue inside his mouth. His tongue tangled with yours and coaxed it into a sensual dance, earning him a most heavenly moan from you.

You two only pulled away for breath, a thin string of saliva connecting your tongues. But his glasses were foggy and tinkly laughter bubbled out of you, feeling like a druggie high off of life--high off of him.

He chuckled, taking his glasses off to wipe them before putting them back on. "Sorry." He smiled sheepishly. "That ruined the moment, didn't it?"

"On the contrary..." You were still laughing, but you held one of his hands still on your hip and guided it lower, lower, lower...until his palm was right on your bare pussy. "You always turn me on, Cal. It's pretty fucking ridiculous, honestly."

His breath hitched sharply when he felt how drenched you were, his pupils dilating and mouth forming an 'O' at the realization that you've been half naked this whole time. He pressed his palm closer to your core, your laughter instantly dying down as his thumb slowly rubbed circles around your clit. One of your hands flew to his hair, something you've always dreamt of doing ever since you saw the incredibly sexy messy state it was in the day you met him. Your other hand clung onto his shirt for dear life, a gasp escaping you as he pinched your nub and began to stroke his fingers along your slit.

He leaned down to your ear, his fingers gradually increasing their pace and you trembled from the pure ecstasy that overcame your senses just from his deft fingers. "You really are a little troublemaker, huh?" He chuckled, voice dropping an octave lower. "You planned this all along, didn't you? Fucking slut..." His lips dragged down your ear to the crook of your neck, biting down and leaving a mark that had you crying out. "My beautiful fucking slut."

"All yours, Officer~" You mewled, your hand latched onto his shirt making its descent to his crotch. You palmed him, feeling his prominent erection aching to spring free as he groaned. "Just be mine, too." You peered down at him, eyes hazy with desire and desperation. "Pretty please?"

"I think I've been yours ever since we met. Not like I had a choice on the matter, anyway." He snickered before capturing your lips once more in a sultry, intimate kiss. Your mouth moved in perfect tandem with his, but you both took your sweet time as everything else faded away. There was only you and Callahan, Callahan and you. And it's all you ever fucking wanted; all you needed.

Not breaking the kiss, you shucked your leather jacket off and carelessly tossed it to the ground. Your hands came up to cup the sides of his face, fingers caressing him tenderly while his hands crawled beneath your white tank top; imagine his pleasant surprise to discover that you didn't wear a bra either.

"Jesus..." He muttered, yanking your tank top up before kneading and squeezing your perfect breasts as his lascivious gaze met your own. "You're gonna kill a fucking cop here." He grunted, making you giggle which immediately turned into an elated whimper as he tweaked your pert nipples.

"Get down. Turn around. Ass up." He ordered, and you didn't at all hesitate to obey. In your haste, you nearly tumbled off of your bike though Callahan steadied you. "Eager, are we, Y/N?" He chuckled, but something about the way your name smoothly, seductively rolled off his tongue had you wanting to fall down on your knees and reverently suck him off instead. But you didn't dare disobey, spinning around with your back to him and bending over your bike.

Though something dropped to the ground as you bent over, making Callahan arch a brow as he picked it up.

"My pen?" He scoffed, and though you can't see him, you can feel his disapproving stare boring into the back of your head like daggers. "Naughty girl, now you're stealing? Tsk, tsk." He flipped up your skirt, your ass now in full view as he licked his lips. His hands groped the pillowy soft flesh, releasing a low whistle of appreciation as he squeezed before suddenly raising his hand and spanking you.

"Ah..!" You exclaimed, looking over your shoulder with glazed eyes and flushed cheeks. "M'sorry, Officer~"

Smack! Another slap had you reeling in the best way possible, your pussy clenching at--unfortunately--nothing as you whimpered.

"Uh-uh. Didn't say you could look at me, did I, naughty girl?" He chided, seeing that you were wiggling your ass and trying to inch closer to him.

Smack! Smack! Smack! Three slaps, one right after the other. Your flesh glowed red with his handprint, making him smirk devilishly.

"M'sorry..." You said again, your voice coming out as a meek squeak. But more. You wanted more, more, more. "I'm a good girl, I promise!"

"I'm sure you are~" He hummed leisurely. "Just gotta prove it to me, right, baby?"

Before you had any chance to reply, he prodded your legs apart with his knee and his pants unzipping sounded like the most divine music to your ears. Both of your breaths got caught in your throats as the tip of his cock pressed against your pussy, stroking up and down your entrance slowly, teasingly. Your lustful impatience getting the best of you because, fuck, you deserved this, you were just about to slide down onto him when he suddenly pushed his entire cock in with no warning.

And fuck he was big. Much bigger than you ever fantasized, completely stretching you out as a long moan was drawn out of you and your upper body fell like a ragdoll on your bike. You vaguely heard him laughing huskily before he started to move; carefully, as if he was afraid you might break.

But with you? That didn't last very long, any pathetic thread of patience he had snapping as soon his thrusts started to become rapid, hard, wild--hitting that amazing spot deep inside your gummy walls over and over again, the lewd squelches of his cock slipping in and out of your pussy perfectly harmonizing with skin slapping against skin.

"Fuck, fuck, fuuuck..!" You screamed, toes curling and grinding your ass in time with his thrusts as he watched, utterly transfixed, with how you seemed to just fit him like a puzzle piece; the fucking addicting way you slammed back down onto him, your skin rolling with each bounce, your pussy clenching his cock like a goddamn vice and effortlessly accepting all of him.

He then wrapped a hand around your neck, squeezing just enough to have your eyes rolling to the back of your head before pulling you up so that you were standing and your back was pressed against his chest. He nuzzled his face just beneath your ear, hot pants grazing your skin as he never seized his pleasurable assault to your cunt as he continued to pound relentlessly into you like a beast in heat.

Suddenly, he pressed his pen to your clit. Your eyes widened as you felt the long, thin object rubbing against your sensitive mound, stroking and poking at your folds as his cock drove in and out, in and out.

"Gonna cum for me, pretty girl?" He whispered, planting butterfly kisses along the delicate column between your neck and shoulder, his grip on your neck tightening ever so slightly as he humped against you.

"Y-Yes, fuck, yes Officer..!" You choked out, rocking your hips desperately as you could almost see stars.

"Then cum, Y/N."

And you did; your walls fluttered and clamped down on his dick, your body stilling and eyes crossing as waves of the highest rapture coursed throughout your body. Callahan soon followed, a nearly animalistic groan accompanying the spurts of cum that gushed into your deepest, most intimate part as his hips stuttered to a halt.

You basked in silence, revelling in the satisfying afterglow. Then, agonizingly slowly, his twitching cock slid out of you, making you convulse and you could feel the hot cum trickling down your legs. He spun you around and gently grabbed your chin, tipping it up and examining your completely fucked out expression. You stuck your tongue out, and he didn't waste a precious moment as he leaned down and entwined your tongue with his. He held you closely, securely; hugging you to his broad chest as he stepped backwards until his back bumped into his car to support the both of you.

You were the first to pull away from the sloppy liplock, laying your head on his chest and sighing deeply. "That was..." You looked up at him, blinking dazedly. "...not what I expected."

"Did you not have fun?" He chuckled, though there was a hint of worry in his voice as his thumb lazily caressed your swollen bottom lip, kind brown eyes seeking yours. Shit, did he overdo it? Or worse... Did you realize that you actually weren't that into him?

"I did, it's just..." You trailed off before a giggle erupted out of you, shaking your head. "Y'know, the first time we met, I actually thought of you bending me over your car and fucking me. I never imagined I'd be bent over my bike."

"For fuck's sake, Y/N, you really are gonna be the death of me!" He whined dramatically, making you laugh and soon he joined you.

"So..." You grinned, fixing his glasses that had fallen to the bridge of his nose and running a hand through his sweaty, unruly curls that you loved too fucking much. "Was I a good girl, Cally~?"

"The fucking best." He returned your euphoric grin, booping your nose and, though he'd never admit it, he actually liked your nickname. Just for him, only by you. "Buuut you're a good girl that's coming back to the station with me."

"Huh? But I thought you're gonna let me off the hook for speeding?" You questioned, confused.

"I am, but you're forgetting your other crimes." He cleared his throat, rising to his full height and looming over you yet again. "Public indecency..." He traced his pen on your pussy, making you shudder as the cold metal glided across your skin up to the valley between your breasts. "...and theft."

"Well, Officer, if that's the case then you're not innocent either~" You smirked, wrapping your arms around his neck and dangling off of him much like you did the first time. "You stole my heart, after all~"

His face was as red as a tomato, smiling like a doofus as he hooked his hands under your plush thighs, hoisting you up and wrapping your legs around his waist. Taking you by surprise, but definitely not unwelcomed as he stared up at you with a stupidly smitten expression.

"We're partners in crime, then, Lil Miss Trouble~"

[twst-hanaya]

TWST Book 7 Chapter 5 Thoughts:

Spoilers under the cut, also I'm basically typing this out as I play so it's like a liveblog sort of.

Malenora is That Bitch

Sorry, ahem. Malenora is a QUEEN (technically a Princess but my point stands)

Absolutely loving her design aaaaahhhh! The horns! The headpiece! The DRIP!

Sorry, I'll try to stop simping.

You can see such an intense resemblance between Malenora and Malleus obviously in appearance but also personality.

They both breathe confidence and self assurance because they're so powerful, both are fairly temperamental, though Malenora seems to be more brash and lashes out with tantrums while Malleus - perhaps due to his father - tends to sulk more than he does explode with anger, though the lightning and bad weather happens with both of them.

Moving on, her relationship with Lilia is interesting. You definitely get the sense that he may have harbored romantic feelings for her when they were younger but at this point truly loves her as something even beyond that, and different.

I swear I nearly started crying in public when they were squabbling over Lilia taking the Egg and leaving Malenora to fight the Knight of Dawn and Lilia was like I can't love this baby for you, I've never loved anybody, I still need you, this baby needs you.

And Malenora fucking hits him with You love me. You love Levan - there simply isn't any way for you not to love our child when you love us so much.

Oh shit I'm crying just typing that.

Anyway

And you know it really hit me in that moment that Lilia's earlier comments about not liking weak things like children - it isn't true, not even then. To love something powerless and weak and fragile means risking your own heart. Just as easily as they could lose their life, you could break your own heart. Lilia has always been afraid.

And when he lost Malenora - someone who he loved, who was the strongest person he knew - died anyway, and left her Love in and Egg, he had to accept that being hurt wasn't something anyone could live without risking.

Moving on, the Knight of Dawn is still a mystery to me, but he doesn't actually seem evil. Apparently he's an orphan who owes a life debt to the previous King, and is in a relationship with the princess Reia. And of course he helped the entourage escape with the Egg - an act I think ultimately saved Silver's life and Lilia's own humanity, among the other obvious things.

Henrik also needs to fucking die what a goddamn bastard KILL HIM MALENORA (I know she doesn't make it but I think she should still get to kill this dude AT LEAST)

Silver losing his shit is kind of understandable after all this, I get it. It hurts me to see him blame himself for literally just being born though he did nothing wrong he was an ACTUAL BABY PLEASE THINK RATIONALLY. Literally if anyone else were out in that situation you know this doofus would be like yeah literally none of this was your fault of course you deserve to live and be happy. But shits not that easy I get it.

Also I actually laughed a little during that scene where Lilia finds baby Silver and he's like STOP CRYING BITCH YOU DONT HAVE THE RIGHT

Like dude I get you're mad at yourself and all but your still yelling at a literal baby please stop 😭

Oh bonus points, I ALSO cried when I found out Lilia's Unique Magic is literally called Farcry Cradle. Like. This man who insisted for literal centuries that he wasn't capable of warmth or love and that he didn't like weak things or children and his UM called FARCRY CRADLE.

全ては過ぎ去る日のようにどこへ向かうもの瞬きの間よ、遠くの揺りかごまで

Also Silver was BLONDE???

Also Malleus being like Aw Shit, What Do I Do With This Thing with baby Silver was great. Love that.

Also totally forgot to just say I'm a bit shook that Silver was actually frozen in time for 100+ years and not a descendent. Was genuinely not expecting that.

Also got me FUCKED UP with the acorn bracelet being a gift from child!Silver like how much more emotional damage am I going to have to endure exactly

NOOO BABY OF COURSE LILIA LOVES YOU

Sidenote child Sebek and Silver are adorable

Cackling at child Sebek having Zero Chill.

He'll yeah, Sebek Unique Magic! "Living Bolt" is very appropriate for him! Pimp slap that boy (Silver) awake!

Silver: Malleus and Lilia probably hate me.

Me, out loud: shut the fuck up. Stop letting your lizard brain control you!

Sebek: *proceeds to immediately deck him*

Good job Sebek!

Sebek is so baby honestly.

Sebek is so right, what a king. I really love how Sebek shows Silver that he's loved. Look at how strong you are - who gave you that strength (love?)

Also I'm always a sucker for that trope when a character who doesn't have any self confidence ends up accusing the people who love them of lying, and really their own self-denegration ends up hurting the very people they care about. How hurtful and insulting it is to have your own moral character and your heartfelt affection for a person be tossed aside in favor of propping up someone's self hatred.

When Silver was like they cant love me and Sebek really said don't you fucking disrespect me or Lilia-Sama like that again. Yeah.

Thankfully Silver regains some clarity and they move along shounen-style, very good.

Oh man the battles for this chapter were actually kind of a pain.

Also tbh I don't know how to feel about them using a recolored version if Silver's 2D rig for the Knight of Dawn. It looks off, personally.

Also in a separate post I made, I said Malleus was like an uncle in their quartet but this whole Book has made it fairly clear that he's more of an older brother. With how long it takes for fae to mature, especially long-lived ones like Dragons, it's clear that Malleus is more like a 16 year old whose parents suddenly busted out a new kid.

I'm tired Goodnight