#I’ve never done cosplay but I want to cosplay this fucker

[daisybellejpeg]

hey question, regarding the bright situation i have a question

Are people still allowed to use the bright character in their artworks, cosplays and drawings, because alot of my friends see dr bright as a character as their comfort and have fictives of dr bright and i didn`t want to see thrm hurt

Ok holy shit let me put this to bed, tuck it in, give it a glass of warm milk, maybe even read it a bedtime story.

I’m so sorry if I’m hella defensive, as mentioned in the doc may and June are my mourning period. The 24th marked the 4th anniversary of my dad’s passing so I’m kind of checked out and am just frustrated at how long this silly, messy “drama” revolving me has been dragging out. At first it was confusing, then funny as fuck due to piss poor execution, now I’m just tired.

It’s a free internet, I can’t stop people from posting shit with bright in it. I will say 2 things tho:

1. Don’t expect me to be your friend or want to be near you, same with the other victims in the fandom. Seriously, I’ve been blocking people who’ve made fanart of bright post the release of my doc. The information is right there, by beating the dead horse that is this pedophile’s possession fetish character you’re kind of saying you don’t care about our hurt, you don’t care that this man used this creation to brand me. Sorry not sorry. My thoughts on bright hyperfixators from earlier today because I’m lazy and trying to get my skincare done while I write this:

2. By not letting bright die you’re doing exactly what Peters wants you to do. To the letter. Do with this info what you will. You’re respecting the wishes of a creep by letting their legacy live on.

AS FOR ALTERS, y’all are a special case, you cannot voluntarily get rid of your alter. I get that and I don’t hold it against y’all at all. I never have. If anything I’m reeeeeally worried about you guys given the whole possession fetish aspect of this situation as I’ve said in a previous ask. Be careful out there. Iunno if Mitch will ever try to weasel their way back into scp spaces but keep an eye out. Also, if you’re in the Michigan area and partake in cons and faires be even more vigilant. Y’all know what this fucker looks like. I know someone who got into a grooming situation with them upon meeting them at one of these events. So far I’ve been able to get them banned from two things but I still have a list of orgs and cons and faires to contact with the evidence to make sure this bastard isn’t able to take advantage of the ignorance of people like my friend.

Hope this helps.

[non-bee-knees]

Until proven other wise, this chaos god child is autistic; sorry I don’t make the rules

[fill-me-with-your-memes-daddy]

Watching the Rise of the Titans movie and I'll be documenting all of my thoughts/reactions here. [Spoiler Warning]

So instead of reblogging every new update, I'm just going to have this post up on my phone as I watch and type my reactions in a bullet list format.

Nari's human disguise is so cute. As someone who does have a cottagecore aesthetic, I want to cosplay her so bad

Are Skrael and/or Belroc non-binary coded? Regardless, I'm also obsessed and I want to fuck Skrael and be Belroc.

STEVE CARING ABOUT JIM BEING HURT YESSSS!!! My god his redemption has probably been one of the greatest there is because he doesn't just suddenly go from being a bully to a completely good person. You can see the gradual shift in learning better throughout the shows which is awesome.

IN NEW YOOOOOOORRRRRRRK!!!!!! CONCRETE JUNGLE WHERE DREAMS ARE MADE OFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!

The mugshot montage reminded me of season 1 of trollhunters when toby and Jim were arrested at the museum.

STRICKLER PUT A RING ON IT??? HE'S THE ONLY DILF IVE EVER ACTUALLY AGREED WAS HOT WYM I CAN'T HAVE HIM??? well I'm still really happy about his arc over the series probably one of my favorite character growths.

Eli my guy got his growth spurt!!! As an 18 year old who is still 5'0", I'm happy but envious for him

So I went into this movie without watching any trailers or promo, but I doubt anything could have prepared me for the existence of mpreg. In fact, I wasn't going to document my reactions until I saw that.

NAMURA!!!!!!!!! MY BELOVED!!!!!! I CAN STILL THIRST FOR YOU WITHOUT GUILT

The coach teacher just called the kids zoomers so I have to dock one point from my final rating just because of that. Unforgivable

Those husky animation models suck lmao

Oh fuck the titans got power ranger zords!!

God why did they include the mpreg??? This movie would have been perfect without it.... After that plot point being revisited only one time I'm already beyond done with it

Like it's bringing me back to the v*ltron days where they're was a suspiciously high amount of klance omegaverse and mpreg fics and art created and it physically hurts because Steve and Keith's voice actor is the same person meaning this is especially cursed to me since I was unfortunately in the v*ltron fandom and remember all of that

But like on another note, how old are these characters again??? I haven't checked any wikis because of spoilers but is Steve an adult??? I know aja might be technically a lot older than 18 because alien but is whatever age she is equivalent to an adult as far as emotionally and physically in Akaridion development??? IS THIS A TEEN (M)PREGNANCY IN A KIDS SHOW????

Like bruh I saw a singular post on here before going into the movie that was like "rott spoilers without context" and there was a pregnant belly but I was absolutely not expecting the actual context of it. I'll find the post after I finish and edit this post to tag the creator right here: @makoden

This entire post is just gonna be me ranting about mpreg huh

Anyway I love the whole roundtable allusion to the legends of king arthur (not the toa version but the one he's based off)

THERE'S 3 TO 5 BABIES????? I need to take a break bruh this is just too much

Alright I've taken a 30 minute break got some food and did some things i love (decompressed by tactile stimming with some owl plushies and watched some videos on my favorite owl, Garu. He lives in Japan with his owner and is a domesticated eagle owl who basically just acts like a sky cat. If anyone else needs some eye bleach, here is their YouTube channel)

Blinky and ARRRGHHH!!! saying their "if one of us doesn't make it" talk my god one of them is going to die I can see it and I will be utterly crushed. Jim can't lose another father figure and Toby can't lose his wingman again I will riot if this happens

On a similar but unrelated to the movie note, can we just talk about how toa started with Jim having 0 dads and (if strickler and blinky live to the end) will end with 2 dads? Like I just really feel happy for him that he has two dads who actually figured out how to put the past behind them to not have any infighting between them so that both of them are healthy father figures. Jim has already been through literal hell and back losing his actual humanity in the process so if he loses one of them, I'm going to be really pissed because at this point, this is just Jim torture porn. Y'all know how as SpongeBob SquarePants went on, the show just became Squidward torture porn? It's starting to feel that way for toa and I really hope they cut the shit by the ending

Jlaire is such a good ship but like I feel like it's too perfect they never disagree with each other

YESSSSSSS Someone finally doesn't treat toby like a fat waste of space who messes stuff up!!! I think out of all the characters that would have been most deserving of a rewrite, it's Toby. Sometimes I just feel he's only comic relief and any heartfelt moments he's had in the series was also born of stupidity (ie his flour baby project being unharmed was seen by him as divine intervention from his parents but was actually just Eli and Steve behind the scenes).

Ohhhhh yesssssss Archie's father!!! I was hoping I'd see him again because we got so little of him last

Ooooooooooh Asian trollmarket!!!!!

Oh never mind slavery trollmarket

Bruh titanic camelot

I feel like we're not seeing enough of the villains because I completely forgot about the power ranger zord things

NAMORA NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY LAST CRUSHHHH

STRICKLER NO NOT YOU TOO PLEASE

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE ONLY TWO CHARACTERS I SIMP FOR ON THIS SHOW DIED WITHIN FIVE MINUTES OF EACH OTHER

THAT WHOLE ASS RANT I WROTE IS COMING TRUE FUCK THIS MOVIE THIS SERIES IS JUST JIM TORTURE PORN

WAIT JIM'S SPERM DONOR INFO?

Oh thank God I don't want to know anything about that person

For the record, I call that man Jim's sperm donor because he has no business being called a father to him. All he did was donate some swimmers to the creation of him and give him abandonment issues

Oh another blind troll elder???? This fucker is just if vendel was a bad guy

Bruh I was grieving

PACIFIC RIM WITH GUN ROBOT VEX AND THE BELROCZORD? I've never seen that movie but I know the reference

Bruh Blinky doesn't read horoscopes? Does he realize conspiracy theories are just the manly version of horoscopes?

NO DON'T KILL VEX STOP KO-ING FOUND FAMILY MEMBERS

Oh thank God he's okay

NO NOT ARCHIE AND CHARLEMAGNE OH MY GOD

oh never mind they're just gonna coup de tat I believe in them :))

But I want to see him again

But I'm glad to see vex

Yay they're in arcadia!

But yeah I wondered why the trolls and Merlin didn't keep the whole "daylight doesn't hurt trolls" feature from the eternal night but now Guillermo del Toro I see you were playing the long con in that just to kill my girl Namora :(((

Oooooh I love the animation of the Narizord over Chihuahua!! It looks very good and realistic (if only they could have put some of that into those huskies from before smh)

Bruh the character designs of the arcane order are so good I want to be them

Nari making sure the Skraelzord doesn't crush the bus

DAMN DOUBLE HOMICIDE

Bruh I'm just glad we finally have an answer on why arcadia had everything going on as opposed to literally anywhere else!! I always found that as a weird coincidence for plot convince.

BRUH WERE BACK TO THE MPREG IM SO JEALOUS I FORGOT ABOUT THAT EVEN THOUGH IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS GRIEVING THE LOSS OF MY LOVELIES.

Oh that's real convenient that the ninth configuration meant all of them. Way to not decide which character gets more attention. Though it probably was a smart way to not have any infighting in the fandom between each character's stan group.

Bruh I just realized where is Barbera did they just ditch her on the Camelot ship???

And where are the other trolls that migrated at the end of trollhunters s3? They said something about new jersey but obviously Jim and the other main characters got on Camelot instead.... This feels like a plot hole

And we never learned the process of how changelings are made and bonded to humans and stuff. We just know it's super painful but I'm curious ffs!!!!

THE DONT THINK BECOME HERO SPEECH ALL SAID TOGETHER!!!

BRUH THEY REALLY HAD TO SHOW HIM GIVING BIRTH??????? WAS THAT AN ABSOLUTE MUST??????

Plus the main audience for this series is little children (the rating for the movie is literally TV-Y7) so even though my adult ass is not in the target audience, I STILL DONT UNDERSTAND WHY WOULD MPREG AND ANAL BIRTH WOULD BE AN IMPORTANT THING TO 7 YEAR OLDS???? THIS IS A LITERAL FETISH HIDDEN IN KIDS CONTENT ITS ELSAGATE ALL OVER AGAIN Y'ALL 😭😭😭😭😭

Though it's probably hypocritical of me to think fetishes don't belong in kids tv when I've openly admitted to thirsting for strickler and namora

HUZZAH

NEW AMULET WAZ GOOD????

STAB THAT BITCH JIM

WAIT NO I SAID STAB NOT GET STABBED

Alright good job just missed the directions at first but you fixed it

SEVEN KIDS?????????

T O B Y ????????????

W A I T NO

N O

IS HE ACTUALLY

OH MY GOD THERE'S HOPE

NO THERE ISN'T

F U C K THIS SHIT THEY REALLY JUST HAD HIM TO BE BULLIED THEN KILLED

Y'ALL IM ACTUALLY CRYING THIS NEVER HAPPENS

I NEVER ACTUALLY GET SO EMOTIONAL OVER MEDIA THAT I CRY IT ONLY HAPPENED ONCE AT THE END OF VOLTRON BUT AHHHHHHHH

W A I T

HE'S GONNA BE BROUGHT BACK?????

HOLD UP THEY'RE JUST GONNA BRING ALL THOSE DEAD PEOPLE BACK??????

WAIT IS HE

BLINKY CALLED HIM A SON

HOLD ON IS THIS GOING TO BE A CLIFFHANGER???????????

BRUH THEY REALLY JUST CAN'T END THE SERIES WITHOUT CLIFFHANGERS like there's always an open ending

TROLLHUNTER TOBY????? You know what forget the whole rants I had on how toby was written they just redeemed it all

And that's all! I'd rate it a 6.5/10 because it's definitely the weakest of all the sequels but still had amazing animation and some good plot points. It's just really hard to look over the bad stuff enough to rate it any higher.

[violetnotez]

HC: Y/N Wears a Revealing Version of their S/O’s hero suit

God it’s been so long since I’ve done headcannons, I miss them so much! These I’m going to keep tame, cause I don’t want them to be toooo spicy!

Also, I didnt iclude Shindo and Shinso, sorry! I realized rather quickly how long these got and didnt want to bog down this post, hope thats okay!

Pairings: Mirio x reader, Tamaki x reader, Bakugo x reader, Kaminari x reader (all characters aged to 18+)

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ

Mirio

It would be a disgrace if I didn’t use this pic

So you had been invited to a photo shoot for a pretty high end boutique to be one of the models

Were you stoked that this extremely prestigious brand wanted you on their front cover? Yes. Were you terrified as hell? Also a fat yes.

Mirio, being the adorable boyfriend he is, was hyping you up for it

“Your going to be amazing sunshine! Ya never know until you try, ya know?”

Even with him being your support, you still felt extremely self conscious

“I don’t know...I’m not a model, I don’t think I can do it-“

“Don’t talk so negatively like that babe! What if I came with you, would that calm your nerves some?”

Your practically melted into him, giving him the biggest hug everrrr

“Oh my god would you? That would make me feel so much better-“

“Of course babe! Wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it!”

So the day of, you came into the photo shoot fresh faced and pale as hell from nerves

They seperated you from Mirio, taking you to the makeup area and clothing area

You entered a room lined with extremely bright makeup stands and racks of clothing, your area in a small corner to the right with a mannequin wearing a certain set of clothes

You finally realized what you were actually modeling-and your mouth dropped

No wonder the asked you to model, being Mirio’s girlfriend-it was a sexy version of his hero suit

It was a skin tight leotard, the number “1000000” scrawled against your chest, a thick red cape draping against the back

Lemon colored glasses and thigh high blue boots completed the look, a huge gulp reverberating from your throat-

How the hell were you going to pull this off? In front of your boyfriend no less-

You pain stakingly got your makeup done and your hair, your strands pooled up like Mirio’s hair in the front and the rest cascading in bed head curls

You finally got the skin tight costume on, looking at yourself in the mirror-you felt nervous but-strangely calm-you didn’t look half bad, actually

A small smile graced your face as you walked out, your heels clicking against the floors as you walked into the photo shoot room

Now the question was where was your-

“Hey sunshine! Whoa, that get up looks great, looks pretty similar to something I wear dontcha think?” He was totally teasing you, his tone playful as he leaned into your blushing face

Suddenly your bravery was gone and you were a nervous wreck-your boyfriend was looking at you with hungry eyes, his orbs gazing over every exposed curve

“Mirio, you don’t have to look at me like that-“ you whined, feeling your cheeks burn bright red

“But I want to look at you like this babe,” he smiled, his voice dropping as he licked his lips- “you look absolutely delicious dressed up like that.”

Tamaki

“Oh cmon Tamaki, please come with us!” You pleaded with your nervous boyfriend, his brows furrowed in fear

It was the middle of October, and you and Neijire were planning to go to an early Halloween party in the middle of town

“I-I wish I could go bunny, I really do, it’s just-“

Tamaki was fiddling with is hands, his inky black hair cascading over his distraught face

He would love to go with you, but the thought of people, and dancing, and dressing up, and oh god what if they made fun of his costume-

You placed a kiss on your boyfriend’s cheek, sending him a reassuring smile

“No worries, Tama, I get it-just stay home and chill, I’ll make sure to come home a little early,”

“Oh-okay,” he obliged, watching you go into the bathroom to get ready

Tanaka decided to do exactly what you asked him to do-he watched some TV, ate some food, anything to calm his nerves as you got ready

After an hour or so, you emerged from the bathroom, walking into the kitchen in your full get up

Your hair was straight, see through yellow glasses covering your eyes. You wore a black leotard, the fabric hugging your curves as a beige cape draped around your thighs. Two purple belt laid against your hips, drawing attention to your plush thighs as your boots clicked around the apartment

Poor Tamaki practically choked on his cereal when you walked in-when you said you were wearing a costume, you didn’t tell him it was his hero suit!

Tamaki walked over a blush erupting over his face, “Y-y/n? W-what are you-wearing?”

You spin around, guilt pooling in your stomach as your eyes met your boyfriends flustered gaze

“I’m sorry Tamaki I should have told you! The party is “hero” themed, so I thought the best suit to wear was yours-do you...want me to take it off?”

Tamaki vigorously shook his head, his cheeks a fiery red

“N-no! Please don’t! Honestly, that’s the last thing I want...” he stuttered his shaking hands resting on your hips and pulling you gently to his chest

You had never seen Tamaki so bold-your eyes widened, your hands placed against his chest

“-but I don’t think you should go to that party tonight”

Bakugo

You ran over to Bakugo, your phone screen containing a pic of a cosplayer dressed up in full Bakugo hero suit, gauntlets and all

You legit shoved it into your boyfriends face, your face beaming- “look how cool this costume is!”

“Tch-Only I can wear my hero suit as well as me,” Bakugo scoffed, going back to eating his ramen

You looked at him distraught and disbelief- “Cmon, Bakugo, you had to admit it’s pretty cool-“

“Cool? He’s a fucking wierd ass nerd, making my hero suit...” Bakugo said under his breath, his eyes now glaring at his phone screen

You placed your hands on your hips- “So if I wore your hero suit, I would be ‘wierd ass nerd’?”

Bakugo chuckled harshly- “Yeah-but you couldn’t wear it, like I said, I’m the only one who can pull it off-“

Ha-if that fucker wanted to play, then you were here to win

You slammed your hands down on the table, your arms encasing a surprised Bakugo in between your arms

You gave him a wicked grin, making Bakugo’s crimson eyes wide with surprise-“Bet bitch.”

Y’all are so mean to each other 😳

You stomped out of the room, your mind now reeling-you had ZERO idea how to make his costume...

You quickly made a call to Mina and Momo, telling them about your predicament-Mina would help you design, and Momo would help make the materials

Both were extremely open to helping you, especially Mina-any attempt to destroy Bakugo’s overly high ego, she was down to do!

But she had a twist to your intial plan- “what if you did a sexy version of him! That’d show him!”

You weren’t exactly sure how that would do anything, but eh why not-if you could make him even more mad, this was the way to do it

Momo was hesitant to make such a lewd outfit, but you quickly reminded her of her revealing hero outfit

-she quickly agreed after that

Mina designed the “suit”-honestly it was just a bra with two orange X’s, bootie shorts with a grenade belt, and green ribbon connecting to the black thigh high boots

You complained to Mina about how uncomfortable the high heel was, which she responded with “Beauty is pain!”

You fought the urge to roll your eyes

How would Bakugo’s suit be complete without the gauntlets! You three had the hardest time with that-deifnitely spent a whole day watching 3 hours worth of cosplay tutorials to make those damn things

But after many hours of snacking, hot glue guns, and screams of annoyance, you three FINALLY had the costume finished-and you couldn’t be happier! It honestly made you feel so cool and powerful...especially those gauntlets-

no wonder why he wore the clunky things, they honestly were fun to wear

You decided to wear the outfit before Bakugo came home one day, your face smug as you waited for him to enter your shared apartment

You finally heard the click of the door, Bakugo wearing his usual baggy pants and shirt he wore when he came home, his shoulder holding his duffel bag full of things

“-Hey”, he welcomed you gruffily, not even noticing your attire

“Hey yourself-“ you replied, a shit eating grin on your face as you walked over to him.

He still wasn’t looking, too busy rummaging through his bag- “Am I still a wierd ass nerd?”

Bakugo looked up, and holy shit was he in for a sight

When you said you would make his hero suit, he didn’t take it that seriosuly- you? Make his suit? Psh like that’d happen

BUT IT HAPPENED

You looked-really good in it too-he deifnitely was appreciating the extra skin that was involved 😳

You smirked at his obvious surprise, his cheeks a fiery red as you did a small spin in the suit- “How does it look?”

Suddenly you felt pressure against your wrists from Bakugo’s hands, your back now against the wall as Bakugo drank you in with his piercing red eyes

Now it was your turn to be surprised-cause crap you didn’t expect that to happen

He was now in control of the situation and he knew it-he gave you a shit eating grin, making your blood feel incredibly warm

“-it looks decent...but I think it would be better on the floor”

Kaminari

“Mina no, I’m not-“

You were in shock, flabbergasted, confused-when did they have a intimates based off of hero suits?

AND WHY THE HELL DID THEY HAVE YOUR BOYFRIENDS SUIT

“MINA YES!” she squealed, giggling as she pulled your size out of the rack

The little outfit was pretty revealing- all it was was a white lacy bralette, with a short black jacket with white lighnting bolt decal and a short black leather skirt to match

It was honestly not your thing-it also just felt wierd to wear something like this-

“Your buying it and that’s that-you needed neccesities and this-“ she shook the outfit in your face, “is a necessity!”

The girl seriosuly shouldn’t be allowed to spend money-she stuffed the outfit in her full bag of clothes, bouncing over to the register as you followed her from behind

“I needed bras Mina, not lingerie!”

Yeah she didn’t listen

You finally got home, trying on your new outfits from your shopping spree when you fell upon the set shoved in your shopping bag

The little pink sneak

You pulled it out-it wouldn’t hurt to try it on, she did buy it for you...

You quickly got into it, admiring your body in the mirror-it was tight alright, but kinda cute in ...the skirt accentuated your legs, the bra was decently comfy, and the jacket pulled the whole thing together and made it a pretty cool yet revealing outfit

Just as you were testing out how much movement you had in the leather jacket,you heard the door open to the bedroom you and your boyfriend shared

“Hey babe, do we have any more toilet-“ Kamianri waltzed in, unknowingly oblivious to the scene before him, until he laid eyes on you

You never thought you saw the man blush harder-his eyes were wide with shock, his cheeks a hot shade of red as sparks of electricity flashed around his body

He obviously didn’t know how to react, and in his flusteredness, he somehow slipped on the floor, landing with a hard thud

“Denki!” You yelled out, scrambling to your ditzy boyfriend, “you okay?”

Kaminari gazed up at you, and holy crap he felt blessed- he had a full view of your exposed cleavage, a grin growing on his face as blood tricked down from his nose

“Oh no, Kami, you got a bloody nose-“ you scrambled to get him a towel, kneeling down to place it against his nose

He quickly swiped the blood away, his hands instead pinning yours against your back

“-Dont worry about that,” he grinned, his eyes a dangerous shade of yellow, “let’s worry about you babygirl...and where you got that little get up,”

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ

Taggings:

@weebartistinc​ @orokayagi​ @leeeah-loooser​ @bakarinnie​ @johnnysactualgf​

[bittybattybunny]

HEY GUYS GUESS WHAT I FINISHED

well mostly

that’s a temp crown and I have a single seam left BUT IT’S DONE REALLY OTHER THAN THAT

So now I’m prince ;3c (i also realized i could have grabbed my fake bouquet from my room for more fun---) also I’m wearing a face mask cuz I really didn’t want to put makeup on to fuck around in my basement when I do a proper photo shoot with Snuppet or something I will but deal with the mask (which btw is from @/timetravelinghk !!! It’s one of my favs to wear besides my levisnatch i wear at work)

I’m like super pleased with how this came out; It’s like patterned fully from scratch *stares at the failed attempts* yeah. it’s been a journey.

I’m gonna ramble a bit about the things I dealt with with this costume so read more I’m long winded

For context I started drafting patterns and such for Prince back when I made Snuppet. The idea has always been to cosplay as Prince and HK when I puppet him. However I wound up getting called back to my day job like right after I finished Snups so I never had a chance to continue because hooooo boi this summer was nuts. People wtf we broke records in sales for my work despite pandemic but i’ve ranted before--

There was also the matter of my boots and my wig. See the wig I’m wearing is the SECOND wig i bought for prince. the first one arrived all like... weird. i can’t get it to be fixed so I’ll use it for a monster costume and cover it with blood (its got like weird glue residue. like how some monster high dolls’ hair gets?)

This one is really nice uvu it’s my first arda wig i ordered; I do have the same in a dark purple because I will be making a ‘shadow prince’ version of this outfit in black and purple

and then the boots.

hoo boi

those boots

*inhale*

So let me say, I have decent sized feet. I wear between a womens 10 and 11 and that makes finding shoes a lil hard.

More so when I need very fucking specific shoes.

Yes i could do boot covers but it wasn’t going to be the same.

so I spent over a month looking and finally found those ones. they cost me a little bit (like they by far are the most expensive shoes I’ve ever bought. I hate spending money on shoes even for cosplay)

So they said they’d arrive soonish. I even paid express shipping.

Guys i ordered them in April. I got them late AUGUST. the site was a nightmare i could never get info it was permanently stuck in ‘packaging order for shipment’ and the help desk sucked and I was so busy with work I couldn’t call my bank and then just one day

they were just in a bag shoved in my mail box. i opened them right before a shift so they sat in my car all day

then i ordered gold cord on amazon

LACING THESE THINGS IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE

the first time I wore them took me no lie about half hour to get them laced proper and on. My sister was waiting and had to come up like “...you okay?”

once laced tho i can easily put them on and off in like 5 minutes

now the costume itself has been. interesting. so you can’t see but the actual way i put this on is there’s a zipper and velcro! I’ve mentioned before I have CFS and chronic pain issues so I try to make my cosplays easy in easy out if i can. so this actually just. zips up and then the flap with buttons velcros down. it keeps the whole thing a lot smoother across my chest. (also i wear a binder for this cosplay. I bought my first one for this. if you cant tell i kinda went all out for this cosplay because I resonate with this fucker on a personal level and he’s brought me peace of mind this last year. I haven’t done a male cosplay in years and it’s kinda nice to do it again.)

Those sleeves

hhhhhh

those sleeves

trying to figure out the proper way to make those puff sleeves was. yeah. and even then they aren’t perfect but they work for me. When I redo this for shadow prince I may make them a little.. poofier? i have the idea how to do it now.

I also like had to alter my pattern after i made it to fit better. I have narrow sloping shoulders so things slip off them easily, my original pattern had very BROAD shoulders whoops.

the collar was also fun. i have to keep like stabbing myself with pins to get it to stand right.

I think the cravat was the easiest thing. it’s actually not tied or anything. its sewn together and then there’s velcro so i just wrap it around my neck and secure. As i said. i prefer easy on easy off.

the pants were. fun. I’ve always had issues making pants. the first set well... I made farrrr too thin. the legs were fine but i couldn't get the waist bit over my thighs or rear TTvTT

I’ve been playing with that pattern for the past week. I actually made them too WIDE today which is a much easier fix. tbh could take them in more but I do want the poof a bit. I do need to not wear LEGGINGS under them next time. like.

this costume is warm. I’m going to be a roast prince when con’s are a thing again. between how warm the tunic and binder are, and carrying/puppeting snuppet if you see me please know if I glare it’s most likely I’m dying. Gods it’s warm. I overheat so easily. (another reason I make it easy on and off)

So yeah! that’s my tirade on my prince cosplay! if you actual read down to this point mwah!

get a laugh out of the fact as I was coming back up stairs i scared my cat. he always freaks out when I’m in cosplay.

Also admire i took these photos blind. I didn’t want to put contacts in so i was playing with my new remote (i got a phone based tripod and it has a bluetooth remote to take photos it’s fucking great ngl)

alright I’m gonna go---

idk watch youtube tbh Im just happy i finished this!!!!

also please ignore the fucking litterbox i swore i moved it out of frame akjkldsffg

[kweebtrash]

Streamhearts Timestamp 12:47am

Title: Nakie Stream

Pairing: Camboy!JohnnyxCamgirlOC (Rem)

Word Count: 4.2k

Genre: Smut

Features: recording sexual acts, daddy kinks, pet names (good girl, bunny, etc), Soft(ish) dom Johnny, use of sex toys, blowjobs, some finger sucking, anal/vaginal fingering, teasing/whining, shy sub OC, anal fucking, choking, swallowing/messy cumshot

Synopsis:

Though Rem is a smart business woman she hides behind a computer screen all day designing websites for large companies. However, when her day is done she’s still behind a computer screen but now showing the world how hard she can cum. She never wanted to be a camgirl but when financial duties called she took it upon herself to make it. The spotlight (and money) got to her and she expanded to showcasing her nerdy side; livestreams, lewd cosplay photoshoots, let’s plays, subscriptions, review, vlogs, tutorials, you name it. Her streams catches the attention of a fellow cammer, Johnny, who on a whim decided to message her. Both aren’t the sexed up dolls they pretend to be in the online life and instead ease their way into a relationship with not so perfect sex, mistakes, and total confusion.

A/N: This used to be on my Kofi which im closing down and just putting everything up on here. This isnt continuing.

Masterlist     Johnny Only Masterlist

~~

"It's time for Nakie Stream!" I giggled as I looked into the camera hooked up to my computer. Dozens of people had already logged on and the number was slowly creeping into the hundreds. I blew kisses and greeted the new arrivals as I showed off my boobs and bounced them a little. Even as I stood around and posed I was getting a few tips. This was all I did it for. I didn't really enjoy it nor did I want to continue doing it for the next ten years of my life. But for now it was another addition to my finances.

I slipped on my pink kitty headphones and connected the bluetooth. The ears lit up, twinkling neon. They were my favorite and I spent some time talking about the specs. Many people would rather just watch me fuck myself but some were actually interested in the fact that I was a "gamer girl™". I hated that title but whatever sold the aesthetic. The truth was that I was indeed a nerd. I had a master's degree in computer sciences and web design, I created websites for companies under an alias and different VPN so nothing would be connected to my other life. The other life, this camgirl/cosplayer/social media influencer/let's player, was my home. I wanted to travel across the country to show off the cosplays I engineered and get my foot in the door to speaking with video game companies through my let's plays. I could sail on that life and would never have to step foot in a retail store or office space again. I would have my own freedom.

I signed softly as a saw a drop in viewers and stopped talking about the headphones. This was the hardest part, being the stupid sex doll for the ones who were only interested in getting off. I turned on the video capture and started up the game so I could properly start my stream. I was just about ready to sit in my gaming chair when I felt warm thighs beneath me. I jumped up and turned quickly, surprised by my boyfriend. He pulled me into his lap, a poised erection parallel to his stomach. He had helped me gain confidence in performing on camera and he was my safety net when we made videos together. I was much more comfortable and relaxed when he touched me. "JJ is joining me today." It was his stupid online nickname because he couldn't think of anything else. "Hope you don't mind. He challenged me to a bet. If I win a few rounds while he's fucking me he will buy me whatever I want, no matter the cost. If I cum or get distracted too much and fail then I get punished in anyway he wants and he'll upload that on his page. I think I can win though. I've spent days awake during releases and playing games straight through so this is nothing."

Johnny scoffed. "You say that now, but just you wait." He set his hands on my hips and turned me away from the camera and let my ass be the center of attention. I bent over and cupped his face gently to plant kisses over his lips while his hands shifted to spread my cheeks apart and show off the heart shaped gem of the butt plug that was nestled inside me. He grabbed a hold of the gem and pulled the plug out slowly, not all the way but just enough to work up some thrusts. I moaned softly, the headphones capturing the sound loud and clear so I could hear it as well as the viewers. The familiar ping of a notification that I received a tip racketed one after the other and Johnny smiled before whispering under his breath. "Blow me for a bit. That'll stall us and give a chance for more people to log on."

I nodded, following his advice and kissed down his bare chest until I reached the junction of his happy trail to the hair above the base of his cock. He turned the chair slightly to adjust the view from the camera and used the small remote beside my computer mouse to move the lens and zoom in more to focus on my face. He was an expert on camera mechanics and even helped me get better equipment for my set up and I had seen my following grow substantially.

I lowered myself to my knees as he spread his thighs apart. Grabbing the base of his cock, he tapped the head against my lips a few times, chuckling on the outside but both of our eyes showed annoyance. We hated doing certain things for the camera but sucked it up anyway. He found the motion stupid while I found it to be a turn off but with my attraction to him outweighed all our discomfort. I parted my lips and slipped his head into the heat of my mouth. The soft moan he let out was definitely a real reaction and I instantly flicked my eyes up to his. His own had closed and his head leaned back against the chair. Gripping what I couldn't fit, I held him steady as I bobbed my head. I swallowed around him and tightened my throat as a slight buck of his hips moved him deeper.

Another moan came, this time from me that was muffled by the invasion. I upturned it into a drawn out exaggeration to add to the stream. Johnny set his hand on the back of my head and kept me close, forcing me to breathe through my nose. "More, baby girl. I know you can do it." He encouraged. I furrowed my brow and tried to calm my gag reflex as I wiggled down more of his shaft. "That's good." He groaned. "That's my good girl."

My cheeks tinged with rose colored fire at the compliment. I held on as he pushed his hips up, dictating a rhythm I was forced to follow as he fell into controlling the situation. I was at his mercy and he knew how to test my limits without going overboard. Deep throating was just another thing we were trying to check off our list but I still struggled to take down his length. He was so perfectly thick and long, nothing over the top or short of disappointment. It was enough to challenge my small body without me crumbling under intense pain. Our size differences, both in height and ratio of his cock to my hole, drove him absolutely stark raving mad. There had been plenty of times where he had to reel himself in before he devoured me completely in a rush of brutal thrusts. But that was exactly what I wanted.

He pulled out of my mouth just as I felt the first drop of precum fall on my tongue. I licked my lips to disconnect the saliva from us-another thing I hated but knew sloppy blowjobs were another aesthetic cash grab. "Get the lube." He commanded with a hard spank to my ass that made me squeak. I trotted away from my desk and rummaged through my nightstand drawer to get the large bottle of lube I had. "And your favorite toy." He added.

I smiled to myself as I pulled out the elongated orb shape of a vibrator that Johnny could control through an app on his phone. He disappeared from the camera view to retrieve his phone before taking his place back in my gaming chair. He guided me to sit on his lap, resting my feet on the armrests so I was spread open. I hid behind my controller a bit as I was too shy to be so splayed out with everything visible. Johnny shoved the controller down right away though, not letting me hide for even a second. I pouted and looked back at him, glaring. He only returned the stare, adding a "what did i tell you?" kind of expression. I exhaled through my nose and pressed start reluctantly. As I was flicking through the menu and character selection I found Johnny's long fingers creeping towards my mouth.

"Open." He demanded and my jaw lowered to accept him again. During a loading screen he thrusted his fingers, pinching at my tongue and stroking the sensitive area at the back of it. My toes squirmed as i wanted to gag but he pulled his fingers forward just before the sensation could worsen. A few more thrusts and he removed them completely, showing off the now glistening skin. He moved between my legs, stroking along my slit and just barely circling my clit. Small tingles started to form in my legs but i was able to concentrate as my battle started. It was nothing special as of now. He just wanted to work up one hole before the other so by the time he was shoved deep in my ass i would be more relaxed. The vibrator always helped in that aspect.

He squeezed a single digit in inside me, his honey eyes looking over me to gauge my reaction. My breath had sped up a little but i kept playing even when his tender lips began decorating my neck in the softest of kisses. I loved when he destroyed me but when he was so gentle it drove me more crazy. His kisses gave my tummy butterflies and I tried to squirm away. His finger only plunged deeper and his other hand gripped a fistfull of hair to keep my head straight, making me wince slightly. My eyes widened and brows furrowed just after as I dodged an attack that almost depleted my character's health. I grew irritated at my lack of assistance from the online players. "FUCKERS!" I shouted. "Do I have to do everything myself?!"

"You're so cute when you're irritated." Johnny chuckled.

"Oh piss off." I scoffed. I wasn't cute, I was dead set on capturing the target come hell or high water.

Johnny didn't seem to like my response as he shoved in another finger quickly. He curled them and fucked me faster then he had been and i almost dropped my controller. I swallowed back a moan and tried not to close my shivering thighs. He would hate that even more. "Make noises." He said into my ear. "Remember what I told you."

"Y-y-yessss!" I hissed. That wasn't faked at all. His fingers were magical and I dug my nails into my controller, scratching into the rubber hand grips.

"What was that?" He smirked as the sound of my wetness started to grow louder alongside the tip notifications. "Use your words."

"S-stooppp." I whimpered and paused the game as I squeezed my eyes shut.

"Giving up already? I've barely just started."

I shook my head quickly and renewed the game,keeping myself determined at the sudden reminder. I thought about what I wanted him to buy me, my end goal and reason for this stupid bet. "N-no. I-im not! I'm not giving up!"

"Oh?" He scooted the chair closer to my desk, still making sure to keep the camera poised perfectly. Reaching for the bottle of lube i had collected, he dabbed a little onto his fingertips. I barely noticed his movements until the cold gel was being circled and pushed inside me. I continued to command myself to ignore it. I had to. I exhaled slowly in an attempt to steady my breath but it hitched as soon as i felt the pressure of the vibrator slowly sink into me.

He didn't turn it on right away. Instead he wrapped his arms around my waist and squeezed me tight while he buried his face into my neck. It garnered more kisses and occasional nibbles that gave me just a few moments to get back to the game. Slowly, he moved his hands to cup my breasts, giving them both a good squeeze before capturing the nipples between his thumbs and index fingers. Gently, he tugged them into stiff peaks and rolled his fingers over the raised flesh to send small jolts of electricity down my neck. Quiet noises were held in by my lips pressed together though Johnny impatient at the fact i wasn’t letting them out. "You're still not making noises." He growled lowly.

"I can't help it! Im not loud!" I nudged my elbow back into his ribs, trying to squirm away as much as I could. He gave a light tap to my clit and pinned his arm around my waist again. I wanted to move now and I was too afraid to as i saw him make a grab for his phone. The familiar graph like control screen popped up and Johnny pressed his thumb to it. A cursor appeared beneath the pressure and at first he kept it low. That was simple enough for me to handle. He faced his phone to the screen, showing what he was doing to the audience. He chuckled as he read through some of the comments in the chat box.

"Even they think youre gonna lose." He said. "You're doing such a shit job, Remmy."

"Shut up! I'd like to see you try it! Maybe you should be the one trying to play while i fuck your ass." I pouted and crossed my arms as it took longer for my dead character to respawn.

"You're always wanting to fuck my ass." I felt the vibrator increase the intensity and my stomach clenched tight. "Maybe we could do another bet and that could be the stipulation but i don't really see you winning that one either."

"It's not over yet! I can still win!" I said with slight uncertainty.

"We'll see, bunny. I'm gonna take the plug out now." Johnny warned as he wrapped his fingers around the gem base. I nodded and leaned into him, begging for a kiss. He satisfied my craving as he slowly pulled the plug out of me, leaving my gape to flex around the emptiness. He tossed it onto the desk with a hard clunk before gripping my chin firmly. My jaw dropped open as he intensified the kiss, forcing his tongue to fill my small mouth completely. I held onto his shoulders to try and support myself as I got light-headed from the lust clouded thoughts that were spiraling in my head. He parted from me with a quick bite to my lip then reached for the bottle of lube again. He repeated the same motion of swiping it inside me as his fingers worked to stretch me even more.

I could relax around two fingers but he soon added a third which stretched me farther than the plug had. With his clean hand he increased the speed of the vibrator on his phone and I yelped helplessly. I saw him smirk through the video feed on my computer and wanted to wipe it off his face. With shaking hands I gripped my controller and resumed my pathetic attempt at playing the game. The vibrations would send sharper shocks throughout me every once in awhile as Johnny made sure i would feel comfortable taking his cock.

My bottom lip was starting to swell as my teeth kept digging into it. My toes were curling against the armrest and my controller vibrated with each bit of damage i was taking. The toys' own vibrations increased and I was nothing but a squirming mess on his lap. "Are you gonna give up, bunny?" He cooed in my ear. "Are you gonna give up and let daddy win? Please be a good girl for me, ok?"

"N-no! That's not fair! I d-dont wa-wa-nnghh-!" I clenched my teeth tightly as I felt a sudden urge to cum wash over me. He was being relentless with his thrusts now, plowing faster and making lewd sounds as the lube squelched against his fingers.

He made the vibrations spike again and I tossed my head back onto his shoulder, begging him to just slow down a bit. He nuzzled against my cheek and kissed my neck. "Look how loud you're getting for me." He turned my head to the computer monitor as he swiped his thumb across my clit. "Show the viewers how pretty my baby is when she wants to cum, hm?"

I flicked my eyes to the screen, embarrassed but wanting to comply so i could cum. If not i'd be stuck in this hell forever. Hundreds of comments were pouring in and i was able to see a number in tips i had never seen before. I swallowed hard and looked at Johnny. "It's going so well." I whispered.

"See what happens when you listen to me?” I nodded, upset that he was right but at least I could pay my bills with the money we earned. “Are you ready for me?”

I swallowed hard as my heart rate escalated. “I..um..” His erection pressed harder into the center of my back. He felt so swollen and even though I wanted to stay strong, the sub in me wanted to take care of my daddy. I nodded and felt his fingers slid out slowly. With his hands on my waist he was easily able to hoist me up with enough space to guide him towards my hole. Carefully, we worked together, me moving down while he thrusted upwards, to have him fill me entirely. My game kicked me back out to the menu screen as I had died again and it questioned if I wanted to continue. It stayed in limbo, not receiving my decision as my ass had touched the top of Johnny’s thighs and his lips had overcome mine. He scooted down in the chair, giving himself more ease of access to thrust.

The first few motions were careful, paired with a plucking of my nipples and an occasional clit rub. It wasn’t until I started grinding back on him did he increase his speed, pulling out almost completely before shoving himself back inside with a harsh speed. Our whimpers and groans were muffled by our tongues colliding over and over. In between the warm presses of his lips, his tongue would slip out to lap at mine or he would place love bites against my bottom lip. With dreamy and heavy lidded eyes I watched the small contortions of his facial features as his pleasure increased. When his mouth would drop open slightly to release nothing but a strained sound or when his brows furrowed with the intensity of my grip around him, i would drink it in, in love with everything about him.

As I squeezed my walls around him tighter, his hand ascended from the softness of my belly, to between my breasts, and finally to wrap around my neck. My muscles went rigid and my breath strangled. His fingers were formed into a grip that was growing tighter and tighter. I dropped my controller, letting it fall to the floor and found solace in dragging my nails into the plush pads of the armrests. The sound it created seemed to echo in the headphones as my mind transformed into lusty swirling thoughts. The dull burn of his girth inside me started to disintegrate but my stomach still churned with the fantastical feeling of his cock shoving against my insides. “Roll your hips.” He commanded me.

I couldn’t nod but showed my submission by moving my feet onto his thighs and lifting my body slightly. I circled my hips around the head of his cock, concentrating all the strength I could muster into the most sensitive of places. “Fuck, that’s good, angel.” His head fell back and his fingers pulsed their strength around my neck, giving me moments to hiccup in tiny breaths. My thighs burned and my knees buckled as my hold on the armrests made my knuckles splatter with the white color of straining. As he saw my body buckling he wrapped his free arm around me and hauled himself onto his feet. With the hand on my neck he tossed me into the gaming chair, making it skid across the floor a foot or two.

My eyes watered as i looked up at his; darkened and dilated with the idea of ruining me further. The veins in his arms dispersed beneath his skin, deepening into a soft blue hue as he clenched his fists around the armrests now, keeping the chair in place. He pulled the chair forward allowing him to slam back into me. The sound I left out was a mix between a squeak and a scream giving the satisfaction of me being loud on camera like he wanted. Ignoring the way a few tears streaked along the tops of my cheeks from the overwhelming stimuli, he rolled the chair backwards, repeating his motions of dragging me forward to fall into a pattern of ruthless thrusts. I had never regretted getting my gaming chair until this very moment. How he found the simplest household items to torture me with I’ll never know but he sure knew how to make sure I wouldn’t be able to walk tomorrow. I held onto his arms as my back arched and body squirmed and I was unsure if I could hold back any longer. “Give up?” He chuckled darkly. “Just say the word. You’ve already barely played a round and kept dying so I think it’s a given that I’ve won.” he taunted.

If this was the torture during the bet I feared what his punishment for me would be later on. It was too late to change the way I felt and I was already falling into a subspace that needed to be filled with his cum. “D-daddy…” I cried softly.

“Say it.” He worked in another rushed thrust. “I wanna hear you say it.”

I pressed my lips together and clawed at his forearms. My stomach clenched harder and my toes curled, pulling the tendons taught and shooting cramps up my legs. “Fine! Fine! You win! Please let me cum!!!”

Johnny turned to the camera and stuck his tongue out, adding a peace sign, in victory. “Guess you guys get a little punishment video soon.” He leaned down and gave me a soft kiss. “Go on, bunny. It’s okay.”

I let out a small sigh of relief and imagined he would continue his thrusts but instead he reached for his phone one last time. He turned the vibrator up on full strength and I gave in then, growing louder as my cum showered the seat of the chair and onto the carpet below. The tense contractions of my orgasm caused the vibrator to crash to the floor, the buzzing rattling against it. Johnny shut it off completely and waited until i was curled up and suffering from aftershocks to grab a fistful of hair and pulled my head up. “Ahh.” He said.

“I want it in-inside.” I shuddered.

“Nope, that’s for girls who win bets. Open.”

I reluctantly opened my mouth, unhappy with his choice, and watched his large hand stroke over his heated skin just above my tongue. His fist worked faster and faster and his eyes fell shut. He kept my head in place and the sweet heat of his cum covered my tongue, sliding down my chin and dripping onto my chest. I swallowed and licked up as much as I could, even lapping at his slit to make sure he gave me everything he had. Once he relaxed, my hair was let go and i sat back in the chair. I swiped my finger across my chin and licked the last bit of cum that I missed. My legs fell as my body slumped; I better get a bath and cuddles after this, I thought, a pout sprouting on my lips. Johnny made up some quick exit greeting and shut off the cameras and bright ring lights. “You ok?”

“I’m sleepy and sore and want cuddles and a bath.”

He smiled and picked me up from the chair, wrapping my legs around him. “I will make you a bath and give you all the cuddles you want, okay?” I nodded and buried my face in his neck as he walked us to the bathroom. “But to be honest, you were such a good girl today. I’m proud of you for being louder and showing your face more.”

I squeezed my arms around his neck, trying to hide as much as I could for my cheeks were burning crimson. He could be rough but also sweet and docile when he took care of me. I loved him so much it almost hurt. “Can you say thank you?” he asked as if I was a child that had forgotten their manners.

“Thank you, Daddy.” I mumbled against his skin.

He rubbed my back before setting me down on the toilet seat cover. “I’ll let that one slide. I can tell you’re sleepy.”

“You’re gonna stay the night, right?”

“Of course. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else but with you.”

[drunklander]

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 503

Oh, Outlander. Le sigh.

On one hand, this episode gave me everything I’ve been wanting for 84 years a long time: Jamie and Claire, together, working as a team as the center of the episode. On the other hand, this very much did *not* feel like an episode of Outlander.

Bottle episodes are fine. The Garrison Commander, The Wedding and A. Malcolm were all basically bottle episodes. Two of those three are a couple of my favorite episodes of the whole series. This episode was like if the times the show decided to cosplay as a different genre (horror this time, rather than the political drama and military drama we’ve seen them attempt in the past) was dialed up to the point it no longer resembled an episode of the same show. From the music to the directing to p much everything.

This episode made me think that like if Outlander was a Venn diagram it would have Claire and Jamie working together as a team, them in the bulk of the episode, and a Good Episode™ of Outlander. You could have two but never all three.

(Also I hate horror movies. They’re just aggressively not jam.)

Ok but now that Marsali is Claire’s apprentice, can we have her and Fergus find out about time travel this season? Because in the books it’s like vaguely implied in MOBY but we never actually get to see that convo.

Also, yes, Marsali, Boston’s pretty rad. Not that I’m biased or anything. In addition to apparently “discovering” penicillin, we also invented Amurrica.

Shorter Claire’s VO: Idgaf about the timeline anymore. Don’t see how that can go wrong.

So was the blurry af title card Marsali practicing suturing? Why did they shoot it like that. It looks more like how they shot Mr. Beardsley’s POV rather than through the moldy bread covers or whatever it was through.

That whole intro part felt like it came from a different episode and was just tacked on to remind us that mold shenanigans are still a thing that is happening.

I do love Marsali, and her with Claire, though, but still.

SUPER SOFT FRASER FACE TOUCHING!

Ok so Jamie is only gonna do another cross burning when he calls his dudes to fight the English, right? Because he did the whole big thing like “I won’t light the flaming dildo again until we’re going to war” and now he’s raising the militia but not doing the fire part when they showed the new wicker dildo right there up high on the Ridge. So like, because that whole bit was about the men being loyal to him, he’s only gonna light it for freedom, right?

FLAMING DILDO OF FREEDOM

So Fergus using Claire’s list of medical tips as his note for the printer is def not going to come back to bite anyone in the ass. Nope. Def not.

Also I love that the whisky thing is Fergus’ thing in the show.

TEAM KEEP GIVING FERGUS AND MARSALI STUFF TO DO BECAUSE I LIKE THEM AND THE BOOKS FORGOT ABOUT THEM.

How many pigs is Marsali gonna butcher to practice her skillz? Also is Deadguy McWhatshisface still in the cellar somewhere?

Mr. Trouble! I love Germain a lot and would love more of him with Grannie and Grandda, pls and thx.

Also, would *love* some Bree and Marsali time. Maybe next episode while the bros are in Brownsville and they’re at the Ridge by themselves? Pretty please?

Ah yes, plantation jokes. In the time when those exist. And you’ve stayed at one. Come on, Bree.

Oh look, Jamie and Claire not keeping secrets from each other. Good. Well done, kids.

But they’re keeping it from Bree. Who, as the grown-ass woman at the center of the Bonnet bullshit, fucking deserves to know. So fuck y’all for not telling her.

She knows, I know that, but they think she doesn’t sooo, do better.

Lots of callback references from Jamie this season. The thing about his scars last week, Black Jack, the brand Claire cut off and his dad’s stroke this week. Ngl, the show is so different now that those references don’t even seem like they’re from the same series.

Gonna take this twin bit as an opportunity to remind everyone to watch Orphan Black.

Kezzie leaves-his-pants-for-the-kittens Beardsley, too good for this world. Too pure.

You come across a creepy fucking cabin in the woods, that you know is the home of a physically abusive fuckwad, and you immediately split up? Claire. Girl. You’ve seen horror movies.

OMG HAI CATS! I GOT ALL EXCITED THAT ADSO MIGHT BE ONE OF THE PANTS!KITTENS BUT ALAS. SOON. SOON, MY FLOOFER.

I fucking hate jump scares. Like I knew her face was gonna be in the window when Jamie turned back around, because this episode is the most trope-y horror short ever, but still. I fucking do not like horror movies, y’all, and jump scares are cheap.

Jamie on the other hand has never seen a horror movie and clearly doesn’t know that you DO NOT GO INTO THE CREEPY CABIN WITH THE CREEPY JUMP SCARE LADY.

Omfg with the banging door, it’s like they were like ok let’s read Making Horror Movies for Dummies and then put in ALL THE TROPES.

Also, this might be the one instance where the book name was better. Why the fuck would you name the goat Billy when Hiram is *clearly* a superior goat name.

CLAIRE. WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING UPSTAIRS. YOU ARE THE GIRL WHO GETS KILLED FIRST IN THE HORROR MOVIE. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS. STOP BEING A DUMBASS.

Oh, hey, another jump scare. I’m both bored and annoyed.

Like we finally get an episode that is centered on Jamie and Claire. Together. Team Fraser. And it’s this nonsense.

I cannot with this show, tbh.

“Poor men bleed for rich men’s gold.” Two hundred and fifty fucking years later and it’s still true, Mrs. Findlay.

Did they borrow zombie noises from The Walking Dead for this episode? I swear to fuck every time Mr. Beardsley makes a noise I’m like uhhh, what show am I watching again?

“What you must have done to deserve this.” Yeah, like don’t @ me. I know abuse is fucking wrong. But you know what? This is fucked-up-past-times. Fanny’s out here by herself with no rights and no help. Go for it, girl. Fuck that fucker up.

This season on AHS: Beardsley Farm, the dulcet sounds of afterbirth squelching.

Here I was, all pleased that we were spared Breast Milk and Periodpalooza in the premiere. I should have known better. And yes, I know it’s natural and a part of childbirth, yada yada. I watch Call the Midwife and even *they* don’t fucking squelch it like that.

The subtitles spell Baltimore “Baltimoe” and now I have Another Op’nin’, Another Show from Kiss Me, Kate stuck in my head.

Is it too much to ask that the show find some way to demonstrate the past being The Worst™ that isn’t women and children getting abused or raped or murdered by shitty men? We already know men are shitty. Men are still shitty.

Like seriously, who the fuck does Mr. Beardsley think he is, murdering all his wives for not having babies, Henry VIII?!

“Having a baby doesn’t make me a mother.” Yuppppp. You do what’s best for you, Fanny.

“And your name is Sassenach.” And she’s not even like and “that’s a weird ass name.” I lowkey love Fanny Beardsley?

I still wish they skipped this whole thing though.

Omfg Jamie. BuT tHeY wOn’T bE wItH tHeIr FaMiLy. YOU *HAVE* TO KNOW CLAIRE’S RIGHT. YOU CAN’T BE THAT FUCKING THICK. NO SHIT THE FUTURE IS SAFER. Also, they’re fucking adults. They are their own family. You left Jenny. Young Ian stayed with the Mohawk. PEOPLE GROW UP AND LEAVE AND IT’S OK.

“Maybe she’s gone to find help.” Apparently Jamie *is* that thick. Really, bro? She left to find help? Really? Fucking dumbass.

“And we’ll seek Mrs. Beardsley as we travel.” “We won’t find her.” That’s a nice way of phrasing “You’re a fucking dumbass, she’s gone and claimed her freedom for the first time in her life. Let her have that, you fuckwit.”

The shot of the leaves blowing is literally like straight out of The Walking Dead.

Also loool at the birds.

Oh hey, next week we get all the dumb Brownsville stuff! And probs little to no Claire and Jamie. Exciting times.

[katiebug445]

Katie says goodbye to the Supernatural cons.

Alright, so, I’ve been putting off writing this post for a couple days, because exhaustion hit me like a freight train and I’ve been feeling icky and sickly for awhile, so bleh. But okay. Time to get emo on main. 

So about five years ago, around this time of year, actually, i finally got the chance to go to my first ever convention. me and some friends at the time were all planning on going to the Salute to Supernatural convention in Minneapolis, Minnesota in August of 2015. I was so excited to finally get to do this, because I’d been wanting to go to a con since 2011. This was my chance to finally go, and see Richard Speight Jr, and make a dumb dream that kept me alive for a long time come true. And it was, without a doubt, the most magical, and important experience of my life to date. 

Around this time, I was beginning to come up in the fandom. i had a really good following, my fics were getting a lot of attention, i was in with a group that was insanely popular, and life was actually really good. The show was the most important thing in my life, and i had countdowns going until it came back on in the fall. i was in very deep in the fandom, and it was my main source of happiness, so going to this con was going to be fucking HUGE for me.

^^ freshly turned 20 year old Katie out there living the best life she could at the time. she was trying her best. 

So we get to Minneapolis on that Thursday, and we’re walking around, and it hadn’t exactly sunk in yet that I was there. Like, I knew I was going, and I knew what was all going to happen, but I hadn’t been like “oh god this is happening” as of then. 

I remember the moment that it did sink in, though. We were sitting in our seats, Richard and Rob were up on stage doing the rules and regulations, and I kind of came back into my body and realized that i was shaking a LOT, and i just remember looking around the auditorium, and then back up to the stage, and hearing Richard’s voice. I thought to myself “You did it. You made it here. You stayed alive for this moment right here. You fucking did it.” and that’s when everything sunk in completely for me. 

i remember crying a lot after that. 

The con was everything I imagined it would be. I laughed a TON, i got to spend time with some - at the time - really good friends, and I was very swept up in the magic of the whole weekend, and I never wanted that feeling to go away. 

Then on Sunday, I got to meet Richard in person. 

I won’t go into details, and I’ll spare the sob story that lead up to all of it, but I will summarize and say that Sunday at Minncon 2015 remains one of the most important days of my entire life. there was so much personal feelings wrapped up in all of that, and I still have no clue how i managed not to break down crying as soon as i saw him. 

I love that man more than just about anything else, even to this day. richard is still a driving force to me to keep on going with life no matte what happens, and i owe him so much for that. 

anyways, i loved the con. I loved the show, the cast, the whole experience. I walked away from that with some of the best memories that i will keep with me forever. I’ve said this a thousand times before over the last several years, but Richard Speight makes those conventions an incredible experience. The effort he puts into them, the way he treats his fans, all of it makes the cons so special for me. I thank him so much for being such a wonderful person, and making me want to go back again and again and again. 

And i wanted so badly to do just that. I wanted to see Richard again. I wanted to do the cons, and hang out with friends more, and just do the whole fucking thing. Because that was peak happiness for me. it still is, in some ways. 

Between the ending of 2015 and the beginning of 2017, i had a bad falling out with the people i went to Minncon with. i lost a lot of my popularity, i backed way off of all of the corners of the fandom that I’d made a name for myself in, and i kept my head down. I did and said some really stupid stuff that I’m not exactly proud of, and I paid the price for it. As a result, i started backing off. 

But I still loved Richard, and i wanted to see him again. 

So I saved. And saved. And saved even more. And in February of 2017, I got the chance to do it all again. I got to meet and hang out with a BUNCH of friends on that trip, and I got to spend a lot of time with two people who have become so important to me, and who I love dearly. 

i owe that to Nashville. 

^^ 21 year old Katie, had experienced a lot of bullshit and was living a her goodest life, but not her best. Still trying to get through some shit and attempting to grab life by the balls once more. 

Nashville was... an experience.

the company that puts on the cons ended up doing a mega price raise, and everything went up by a lot of dollars (i’m too tired to math now, but it was a fucking LOT of money and even more stress by the time i got to buy tickets). I was really mad about it, and decided that nashville would be my second and last con. 

i decided to go ahead and go all out with it since nobody would ever see me again. 

I got to see richard right out of the gate again on that Friday, and actually got the chance to talk to him for a moment (i use that term very loosely, seeing as my “talking” is just me stuttering out two or three words and running away)  and by some fucking miracle, richard actually fucking remembered my dumb face, and that made my entire life up to that point worth living (still kinda does tbh). I hurried out of the autograph line with my buddies, found the nearest chair i could plop down into where he wouldn’t see me, and i cried. i cried real ass tears (thanks for putting up with me, that day, christy!)

I actually got called up to do karaoke this time with one of my absolute best friends and favorite people, and we fucking rocked it. for four minutes, we were rockstars and it was fucking great. we got to act like idiots and get yelled at by Matt Cohen (KAZOO KREW FOR LIFE!) and ugh. it was just incredible.

Saturday was good. tt’s kind of a blur of ups and downs and photo ops, but overall, it was a good day. Same with Sunday. I know a lot more tears were shed by a lot of people in our group. And christy and brandi screamed at misha collins. That was fucking hilarious. 

Nashville was a fucking great con, and despite all the crap that happened during and after, i wouldn’t trade it or change a single thing about it. I loved that con, and the people i got to go to it with. we all had an incredible time. 

And part of me still, despite everything i told myself, wanted to go again. 

Between February and May of 2017, i underwent a huge change in my life: I somehow got talked into watching anime with a - at the time - good friend of mine, and realized “wow. this is actually a lot better than what spn has done for a long time.” and it kinda pissed me off because WOW THIS IS WHAT SHOWS COULD BE LIKE WITH WELL WRITTEN FEMALE CHARACTERS THAT DON’T DIE!!!!! (thank you, fma for helping me see that light!). i was mad, but i was still devoted to spn, and yadda yadda yadda. 

in May of 2017, i watched the finale of season 12 at my friend Cas’s place, and the finale left such a bad taste in my mouth, that i decided that was it. i was angry, i was hurt, i was completely done. i stepped completely out of the fandom, i muted all the fan accounts i followed on twitter, i spent that whole summer getting farther into the weeb side of life, and farther away from my spn roots. 

and i’ve never fucking regretted it since. 

I started looking into conventions for anime around my hometown, and ended up finding one that looked fun. And Ohayo was a fucking BLAST - but that’s a post that’s been sitting in my drafts since january that i haven’t written up yet. I’ll finish writing that eventually...

but i was so done with spn by that point that i wasn’t even upset that nashville was the last con for me. 

I had started getting back into the fandom during s13, started writing fic again, and THEY ACTUALLY BROUGHT MY HONEYBEAR SON, MY PRIDE AND JOY, MY EVERYTHING, MY FUCKING WAFFLE CHILD BACK AND EVERYTHING WAS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD. I WAS HAPPY. I WAS BACK. I WAS LIVING MY BEST FUCKING LIFE. 

and then... then they took him away from me again. for nothing more than shock value. 

and then i said nope fuck this im out im done fuck you all i’m going full ass weeb. FUCK IT ALL. i doubled down on my belief that i was doing no more cons, no more anything. 

And then the fuckers announced that there would be a convention in cleveland, OH. Which I had been single-handedly campaigning for a con here for YEARS. When I finally get out of the fandom, they give us one. Absolute bastards! 

So, with a defeated sigh, i decided “one more. one more and then it’s over for real.” 

besides, i really, really, really, REALLY wanted to see richard again. 

So i decided, why not get the remaining members of the gang back together, and go out with a fucking blast? that kinda worked. i got one member of the gang to come with me, and the other was there in spirit. 

Richard cancelled about a week and a half before, which meant that my main reason for going was gone. and then misha cancelled until sunday, which meant my other reason for going was gone. but i still wanted to go and say goodbye to the cons and what little bit of the cast was there.

so we get there on friday, knowing full well friday is the only day we’re going, we didn’t buy tickets, we didn’t do anything to give creation our money, and we went in AOT cosplay because we’re cringy cool like that. and it was... surprisingly freeing.

^^ 23 year old Katie, who at this point has seen so much shit it doesn’t phase her anymore. Living an even better life than 2015!Katie. much more confident in herself, and a lot happier in general. Still trying her best. 

the con itself was a shitshow. it was an absolute shitshow. but i had every bit as much fun hanging in the lobby with my friend as i did actually doing the panels and stuff. i knew this was my goodbye, and having the con be so higuhgieh actually made it a little easier to say goodbye to it. karaoke was a fucking blast, and i shouted and danced the entire night, and my poor voice suffered. 

you’d think i just saw my best friend get eaten by a titan right in front of my eyes by how gone my voice was by the end of the night. -cough-

on the way back to the hotel is when it hit me that it was officially over. i cried the whole 20 minute drive back, knowing that this was the final time i’d ever see any of it. my last karaoke. my last chance to see everyone. my last spn con.  it was so bittersweet, because i had such a blast, but it was done. it was all done.

and i didn’t even get to say bye to the man that i owe everything to. that’s what hurt the most about the whole thing. 

i wouldn’t trade the cons for anything. i spent some of the best (and worst) years of my life doing them. the experiences and memories i have from these conventions are ones i wouldn’t give up, even if i could spare myself some heartache or stress. i am so grateful for these opportunities to meet these incredibly talented people, and get to see my friends there, and just have the time of my life. there isn’t one thing about any of those cons that i regret. 

i am so sad to be giving them up, but i know it’s for the best. the prices keep going up, and it would take even longer to afford them, and i just can’t keep doing it to myself. the stress is crazy enough as it is, and there’s a lot i’ve missed out on trying to afford these things. 

Not only that, but I’ve grown and evolved so much from that 19 year old doing everything she could to save back for her first con - and out of state trip. i’m not anywhere near who i was back then. i’ve gained much more confidence in myself, i’ve gained much more self worth, learned to control my anxiety/depression, and learned what i will and will not put up with from people. i’m a MUCH happier person than i was back then, and i’ve gained a lot of life experience and a lot of new interests over the last few years. so much has happened so fast, and almost everything has turned on its head. 

but one thing that hasn’t changed for me is my love for Richard Speight Jr. I have said it in this post alone several fucking times, but i adore Richard. He is without a doubt one of the funniest people I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting, and he makes these cons so special for a lot of people - myself included. he’s the reason I kept wanting to go back, the reason that i kept pushing through the bad times, he’s been my reason to “Always Keep Fighting”. I am so blessed to have so many memories with him, and they’re the ones i talk about more than anything when talking about the cons. He will always have a huge and special place in my heart, and he will still continue being one of the big reasons why I keep pushing, and keep going, even when i don’t want to. he has absolutely no idea how important him just existing has been for this dumbass, and i really wish that he did. i hope that he knows the impact he’s had on my life, and that he’s always been my favorite since the trickster first announced that he had more ass than a toilet seat. richard has been one of the biggest inspirations to me for the last 6 years, and i literally owe the man my life. i’m so happy that he exists. it makes things a little easier knowing that he does. 

I’m going to miss him so much that it hurts, and I hate that I didn’t get to see him or get to hug him one more time. that’s the hardest part for me about saying goodbye to the cons. 

it’s so bittersweet going forward now, because there’s this huge part of my life that’s over, and i don’t know how to fully express all of it, but im so glad that i got to be on the ride as long as i did. 

hopefully in the future, things will continue to be as fun as the last four and a half years have been. i can’t wait to see what future conventions hold for me and my friends. 

[underquail]

..... Would you be pissed if I asked you to answer every single one?

Nope! Here we go! This is gonna be a long post, so asks are under the read more

1. Who’s your favourite character from UT?

Mettaton! I’ve cosplayed him like...3 times (and won like $50 from a costume contest eyyy). Undyne is a close second.

2. Who’s your least favourite character from UT?

Uhhhhh.....doIhaveone if I had to pick I guess Jerry??

3. Your opinion about UT fandon:

All fandoms have their......issues. I don’t heavily interact with fandoms but the other cosplayers I’ve met at cons were pretty cool

4. What’s your favourite quote?

“Despite everything, it’s still you.” I’ve cross stitched it and it was on my college graduation cap.

5. What’s your favourite soundtrack?

I really love how Hopes and Dreams ties a few of the other themes into it

6. Pacifist, neutral or genocide?

Oh geez...playing the pacifist route makes me feel warm inside, but...I admit I’ve done about fifteen genocide runs ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

7. Why did you decide to play UT?

Long story short, I was having an anxiety problem and I needed a distraction. I started playing and fell in love. Since then it’s been my go to for panic attack prevention.

8. Favourite battle?

The Mettaton battle is lots of fun. I do enjoy fighting Sans, though...I’m actually better at fighting him than Undyne the Undying

9. Favourite scene?

Cooking with Undyne

10. Your first letter to Mettaton was:

Don’t remember; think I mentioned legs

11. Your reaction when you saw Omega Flowey for the first time:

fuck

12. Your headcanon about Frisk’s gender:

dfab, agender

13. Which UT character reminds you of yourself?

Alphys, no question

14. Which UT character reminds you of your best friend?

My two best friends remind of Sans and Papyrus a lil :)

15. Would you smooch a ghost?

Heck yeah

16. Which UT character would be your best friend? Why?

idk, maybe Alphs

17. Do you remember your first killed character? Who was that?

Probably a froggit

18. Did you do sth in game you regret?

naahhh. It’s just a game.

19. Which ending was your first? 

TECHNICALLY it was the hard mode end at the end of the ruins--I knew Frisk’s name from tumblr and named the fallen child that first. I then proceeded to grind since it was hard to survive. Then I reset and got the no-kill neautral ending before the pacifist end.

20. Your favourite land in UT and why: (Snowdin, Waterfall or Hotland)

Waterfall is so pretty

21. Your favourite place in UT and why: (Undyne’s house for example)

Home makes me feel fuzzy

22. Your headcanon about River person’s gender:

Irrelevant. It’s the dog on a stool under there. next.

23. Your headcanon about one of the UT characters:

Post-pacifist Alphys, with Metta’s endorsement, goes on to work more on robotics, specializing in prosthetic limbs

24. Butterscouch or cinnamon pie?

why not both?

25. Your opinion/headcanon about six human souls:

Patience lived with Toriel for at least a few months. The last of them fell a long time before Frisk did--long enough that most monsters Frisk encounters hadn’t been born/were very young when 6 fell, since many monsters don’t recognize Frisk as human.

26. With who would you go on a date?

Platonic date with Papyrus

27. Marry, fuck, kiss and kill:

Marry Undyne, fuck Mettaton, kiss Alphys......do I have to kill someone??

28. Do you wanna have a bad time?

bring it fucker

29. Your favourite UT au:

Underswap, but like...where they still retain their personalities in their new positions if you get me. e.g. Scientist Undyne isn’t a nervous wreck (meaning she’s not just Alphys) and takes an...explosive position to being a scientist

30. Your least favourite UT au:

Ehhh.....maybe Underlust? It’s kinda just over-sexualized for the sake of sexualization ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

31. Would you want to fall into underground?

Nah.

32. Describe or draw your undersona:

Don’t have one

33. One reason why you love UT:

As I’ve said before it helps with my anxiety

34. One reasom why you hate UT:

I hate the cringy perception people have of it when they haven’t even tried it

35. If you could choose one type of food from UT, what would it be?

Spaghet’s my favorite food

36. Your favourite amalgamate:

dog

37. Your headcanon about Gaster: who do you think Gaster is to Sans and Papyrus? (Father, brother, uncle etc)

I think IF he’s related he’s probably a father figure

38. Your opinion about bad puns:

I was the bane of my high school band for puns. love em

39. Do you draw fanarts from UT? If yes, then what do you like the most to draw?

If you’re reading this you probably already know I do (but I work 6 days a week so I haven’t drawn in a long time....). I like drawing Undyne a lot

40. Which of human souls fits you the most?

kindness

41. What would be the first thing you would to show to Sans, Papyrus or the rest of characters in human world? Why?

maybe a wide open park

42. Which song reminds you of UT or one of the UT characters? Why?

I thought Big Freeze by Muse fit UT enough to do a whole video for it

43. Your opinion on underloid:

Pretty cool! I have a whole playlist of it on soundcloud

44. Do you forgive Asgore for what he’s done?

yeah

45. Did you pay for Tem’s college?

heck ye

46. Have you seen any youtube letsplay of UT?

I saw Steam Train play it

47. Do you listen to any fanmade songs? If so, then which are your favourite?

not really, beyond Underloid

48. What are your favourite theories?

None come to mine rn

49. Who is your favourite enemy? (Not including boss monsters)

Shyren

50. Do you have any headcanons about Chara’s past? (Why they hate humanity, why did they fell to the underground etc)

Hmmm...well, I have a few, and none of them are pleasant. Abusive parents, misgendering, and so on pushed them to run away in hopes of never returning

51. Who is your favourite dog?

Lesser Dog. him long

52. What was your reaction to true lab?

...ah

53. Your fabourite voice acting:

I like the voice they gave Paps on Steam Train

54. At the end of pacifist run did you stay with your friends or did you come back to your family?

I always stay with Toriel

55. Who is older - Sans or Papyrus?

Sans

56. Your OTP(s):

I actually like Mettalphys a lot. And Alphyne. And Mettalphyne...

57. Your NOTP(s):

I’ve just never really liked Pap/yton. Or any incest ships, or Frisk + any non-children (Fr/ans etc)

58. Your BROTP(s): 

Undyne and Papyrus

59. Your favourite puzzle:

I like the bridge puzzle where you go to the sign and it tells you that you failed

60. Which battle was the hardest for you?

Undyne the Undying. Harder than Sans for me

61. Did you still hate Flowey after you discovered his true indentity?

Nah. Doesn’t excuse what he’s done but I like him more as a character

62. The saddest moment:

Neutral route, killing just Mettaton: Undyne’s grief over Alphys’ death

63. Which ending is your favourite?

Besides pacifist, King Mettaton

64. How old do you think Frisk is?

8 or 9

65. Any post pacifist run headcanons?

My bbs are happy

66. Your favourite NPC:

I love Tem, especially having met the real Temmie Chang (she’s awesome)

67. Humans or monsters?

monsters

68. The funniest situation:

“I’M UNDYNE AND I’M SMOOCHING UP A STORM!!!!”

69. Skeletonfucker, robotfucker, goatfucker or kinkshaming?

r o b o t f u c k e r

70. When playing for the first time how many candies did you take?

All 4

71. Did you kill or spare Flowey at the end of the game?

Spare, though I’ve killed him sometimes

72. If you had to be one of the main characters, which would you choose?

Undyne

73. If you had to kill one of the main characters which would you choose?

Well, you have to kill Asgore in every run so....yeet

74. Which character(s) would you like to cosplay?

I mentioned I’ve done Metta a few times. It’s be fun to do a casual MTT, but I’m also interested in full-armor Undyne

75. Your favourite Burgerpants’ quote?

“I’m nineteen years old and I’ve already wasted my entire life.”

[violetsystems]

#personal

The weather is back to being amazing again.  This is the horrible curse about Chicago.  For maybe five or six months out of the year, the temperature is gorgeous if not sometimes extreme.  Now that the AC is on, my cat sleeps like a human in bed often.  A little human.  I wake up a few times a night to find her in different spots.  Mostly just waiting for me to feed her wet food in the morning.  I still feed the cat outside my door.  My immediate neighbors do as well.  I think when you think about common ground between people in society you have a good starting point there.  They share the porch here.  Sometimes it’s a little claustrophobic.  But it is never trans or homophobic.  I think people like myself who openly identify as straight and cis could do a better job at empathizing.  But people are already bothered enough by society to where I try to tread lightly as to how I do this.  Nobody wants to be patronized.  It’s tacky.  So it’s always the little things in this neighborhood that communicate the most.  Hanging a plant for your elderly neighbor.  Shoveling the snow early in the morning in the dead of winter.  In the summer, it’s a little easier to be patient with the ways people try to communicate.  And then there’s the glaringly obvious clues that people don’t really give a shit.  I went to do the laundry yesterday.  It’s a small building so not a lot of traffic down there.  The trash is usually filled with laundry supplies.  I went down there and somebody had deposited a U Kotex tampon box in the trash.  This act alone baffles me but it’s such a familiar thing.  I would call it a microaggression.  And here’s how I would explain it.  Back when I was shoveling the snow, somebody had scrawled a message in my immediate neighbor’s doorstep.  Part of it had been snowed over but the message I could read simply said “Gay people live here.”  I couldn’t tell who wrote it.  I worried that my neighbors didn’t.  In short, I cared silently about how this would be perceived.  So I erred on the side of being inclusive and shoveled it last.  Either way, it was information I could choose to respect or neglect.  Months later, finding a tampon box in the shared laundry room when you know some of your neighbor’s identify as nonbinary at the least is sus.  I did the same as I did back in winter.  I disposed of it before anyone got the wrong idea.  Again I’m no detective.  But it’s obvious to me people don’t care about how that might make somebody feel.  I do.  I don’t go knocking on somebody’s door and loudly exclaim “why are you throwing your tampon box in the trash?”  It could have been them for all I know.  So like I do often, I fix the situation before an incident arises.  And nobody knows it was me.  I know for a fact certain neighbors of mine are completely passive aggressive.  The couple behind me definitely gets off on not locking the gate behind them.  It just so happens my immediate neighbors and I are the ones who seem to get targeted for package theft.  I’m used to being targeted and smeared.  When I see other people getting fucked with it largely concerns me.  I can’t always erase the fact that people often play elaborate pranks on me in public.  Where I live and sleep is a different matter.  The problem with microaggressions in society is pretty simple.  Bullying never went away.  It’s normalized as a badge of courage.  A rite of passing in society.  A hazing and a reprogramming of sorts.  Some of us feel pressured by society to fight back.  To act up.  To tear down.  And then some of us have fought that battle alone for years only to be ostracized and explained away.  I spoke with a friend recently about being bored with Chicago and alienated.  They replied flippantly “Well everybody knows you aren’t really a big fan of being social.”  Everybody also knows I flew to Asia fourteen times by myself over a five year period.  The attention to detail only goes so far before it has jumped the shark.

Any sort of a sacred communication, writing or otherwise will eventually degrade into noise.  People in Chicago definitely don’t like you being you outside of a clearly, organized group.  I was reading something about Pride recently how the organizers did not want police involved at all.  It sounds like a no brainer to me.  Pride started as a riot.  A necessary response to oppression and repression.  As an aging straight white man I don’t really see myself at pride.  Neither do I see police belonging there as well.  And yet.  The police feel left out or something?  When Black Lives Matter makes a valid point about police being the number one threat to the very definition of the movement this is a threat how?  When you’ve had your civil rights shredded daily in broad daylight just being a regular person and I mouth the words ACAB all of the sudden I’m a threat to society?  Somehow me opening my mouth and speaking up for other people makes me a target.  And yet I do it pretty clearly and succinctly under my rights of freedom of speech.  It gets abused.  Toyed with.  Tampered with.  Just like any basic infiltration of any cool thing or movement here in America.  No matter how many years I see these people try to throw a wrench in independent movements thinking for themselves, I’m struck at how amateur they become.  America can’t have you thinking for yourself without supervision.  It bullies people into being afraid.  It infiltrates with a smile and a well meaning look only to poison the well and look back accusingly.  “Why aren’t you thirsty?”  It sticks it’s fucking nose into everything and acts like its the champion or savior when it has done nothing except play the villain.  Good cop.  Bad Cop.  Still a fucking cop.  And it doesn’t actually have a leg to stand on.  It uses other people to do it’s dirty work.  Pits movements against each other to neutralize dissent.  It takes over the core history and rewrites itself into the story as the main character.  It buried people’s authentic narratives in favor of lumping them into a moderated congregation.  It talks but never lets you speak.  When it does, it talks over you and mansplains everything you’ve been saying all along wrong.  It’s baked into the culture.  Traditional American doublespeak is an advancement of Orwellian lying.  People think they can smile so sweetly and say absolutely nothing of substance.  That these little pockets of resistance need to be ironed out and managed.  That autonomy isn’t an actual survival reflex.  Of all the people you know who have been fucked with and survived.  It’s me.  And I am just some normal dude on the internet.  And yet I can’t speak loud enough in mainstream society to get people to understand I have a point.  That people gaslight, gatekeep, and gestapo their way into putting you in your place.  The shit I’ve seen here in America let alone Chicago would have Germany in 1940 blushing.  And yet, I don’t really put up with any of it.  It’s fucking clown show level cosplay.  Rich people who think they can walk through walls of ethics, privacy and culture to throw around their weight.  People don’t like me these days because I interfere with them directly making a profit.  Imagine that.  I’ve been targeted for everything.  Made to look like I’m crazy, old and alone.  And now I have to deal with billionaires afraid of where I’ve invested my meager retirement funds.  And I deal with it everyday.  Sharks swimming around me in Teslas and T-Shirts trying to intimidate me into throwing in the towel.  After the towel was thrown at me repeatedly.  I can’t explain how ridiculous this is.  I can explain how insensitive it is to throw a fucking tampon in the laundry room when your neighbors are gender queer.  And then as an ally, people think it’s my job to confront this.  I do.  I put all in the trash where it belongs.  Where the racoons and my civil rights still dwell.  You don’t need these people in your business.  You don’t need to feel guilted by the oppressor into thinking there is something wrong with you not trusting authority.  They openly lie, plot and spread deceit.  So don’t let them into your scenes, movements or personal lives and move on.

This is easy to say when you live outside the blast radius of culture war.  I happen to enjoy the freedom of living in a city just as much as everybody.  It is something else to manage the personal and organizational politics therein.  New York to me is a little less pretentious and stuck up about the status quo than the midwest.  The midwest is clingy and clumsy about how it asserts it’s power in a vacuum.  And Chicago right now is just one huge lawless fucking vacuum.  I would love to write about it.  Maybe even sit down for a chat with the Mayor about how she plans to fuck up the next two years of being half in control.  But we all know I’ll never make it as a journalist.  I’ll never have the opportunity here to be acknowledged as a writer.  I’ll never be recognized for anything I’ve ever done because it would require an inconvenient truth to be brought out into the open.  You only make it in this town if you are connected.  You only get to be free if you let the powers that be have their say.  It’s only ok to survive if you are transparent in everything you do.  And when you are, your information is spread out to the point it’s a liability at best.  People already know everything about you including where you fit in the hierarchy of capitalism.  I belong on the outskirts with all the “freaks.”  Being bullied like it’s 1990 all over again.  These people never learned to be better.  So they simply get off on judging everybody else by their lackluster fucking standards.  You can stand up to them.  You can learn how to tell if someone is being genuine or trying to subvert your power.  You can say no.  You can not let these fuckers into your most trusted places and spaces.  And you can fuck with them back if they do.  For me, it’s not a good look for me to take the bait.  This entire process has been hopeless to me.  I have learned nothing good about how real society operates at its bitter core.  What I can tell you is this.  People tell you whatever they think will make you feel good.  And if you question their motives, they will make you feel guilty first before getting caught in a lie.  If you catch them in a lie, they act like you are crazy.  And this is the rhythm of how protest, resistance, and freedom is squelched in America.  Nobody is fighting back.  I would know.  Because I am literally exhausted making this point as an ally for years on the internet.  We need to organize and yet we’re too busy ripping each other apart.  We know we have common ground.  We know we connect in genuine ways still.  And people are scared to.  They’re just coming out of their shells.  I think the whole point of things like Pride were to create autonomous zones where people could feel free.  To feel like they weren’t judged or watched.  I know what it is like to be surveilled on levels I’m embarrassed to share.  I live that hell every day of my life for reasons unknown.  I don’t know how it was brought on me.  It hurts.  Every fucking day of my life to be watched and misunderstood.  I created a sacred space for myself to communicate this.  A place where I can be proud of who I was and talk about it.  A place where I could catch my breath and continue to resist and to think.  And there’s no shortage of right wing nuts who argue their stupid clubhouses need to be protected by a flag most people wipe their ass with.  Respect is a two way street.  I’m just directing traffic.  And I’m warning people around my neighborhood specifically.  I’ve seen the passive aggressive judgmental bullshit go too far and I’m not going to let it go by unnoticed.  I know just who is completely full of shit out here and why.  And people trust that I know because it’s my job to pay attention to detail.  I don’t get paid shit to be a good person.  But you don’t get away with being racist, homophobic, transphobic or any other shit like that on my watch.  I will let you know on site.  One tampon at a time.  <3 Tim

[canaryatlaw]

okay, so, today. I accidentally slept in way longer than originally intended, which I guess is the risk you run when you don’t set an alarm, but I mean I woke up a few times before that and just didn’t want to get up yet so I fell back asleep, so it wasn’t like I was completely out of control on the issue. but yeah, I ended up waking up at 5 pm 😂😂😂 I probably didn’t get to bed until 3 last night, but still, it’s been a while since I’ve slept 14 hours. so I got up and made m&m pancakes, cuz of course, and accidentally made a gigantic one when I was like oh there’s not much batter left I’ll just pour it all and it ended up being much bigger than expected lol. So I did that then went on my computer while I was eating for a bit. No grades posted today, though it’s still probably early for classes where there was an exam final, I’m just very impatient lol and would like final confirmation that I’m done for good (I mean, realistically I know I didn’t flunk anything, but I’d like to be sure of it, even if I get a crappy grade in Secured Transactions, as long as it’s passing it’s going to be reduced to a two digit GPA on my resume anyway so it really doesn’t matter). A bit before 7 I moved over to the couch because I knew the Riverdale season finale was on at 7. I didn’t however realize that I was yet to catch up on last week’s episode (because I was taking a final last Wednesday night), so when it started and I realized that I was like WHOOPS because oh boy did I miss a lot. I had seen a spoiler on here regarding Betty’s dad so I knew that was coming, which seemed to be one of the big ones. but like, that plotline, holy shit???? like where the fuck did that come from?? don’t get me wrong, I’ve legit always hated Betty’s dad (and sometimes her mom too but she’s been alright lately) but this was just super extra lol and I’m just like why weren’t you going around murdering people last year when they were all being incestuous sinners?? sigh. I watched the finale and then went back and watched last week’s, and it was funny because I felt like it really climaxed in last week’s episode and tonight’s was more of a wrap up, which isn’t traditionally how it’s done, but I guess it worked pretty well for them. I appreciate that Veronica has seemingly turned against her parents entirely at this point because they’re pretty evil fuckers, and idk what to make of the development at the very end of the finale, but I’m not very convinced it’s going to be a major plot next season, more likely just something that will be easily fixed in the first couple episodes. So yeah, I keep watching this show even though I think it’s kind of ridiculous, it is at least entertaining. we didn’t get to go to Riverdale Con because we were dumbasses and didn’t buy tickets before they sold out (😂😂) but I still have Archie’s varsity jacket and have vaguely Archie like hair so maybe we can do a Riverdale cosplay photoshoot at some point. After I finished those two episodes I finally got around to watching last week’s Krypton. Not it’s most engaging episode, kind of exposition heavy. The ending with Ona was pretty gutting, and I’m glad to see Dev is still alive at least and hopefully no longer being mind controlled by Brainiac. I felt bad for Adam a lot last episode so it was good to see him gaining a bit more traction this episode and kind of getting more backstory on how he got here. I found the conversations between General Zod and Jayna-Zod rather interesting, regarding putting family before loyalty to a cause, and the differences in their viewpoints depending on how they were raised. It sucks that the first season is already almost over, but I’m glad we’re getting a second. After that I watched more of The Good Place, which I ended up finishing through the end of the current episodes. It’s such a well-written and well-executed comedy that really consistently hits its marks when it comes to its jokes. At this point I went back to my recorded tv menu only to realize I had totally spaced on the fact that Designated Survivor was on tonight, and it was the fucking season finale ffs, so I started that immediately. I’m still rather pissed off that it didn’t get renewed for a third season because it’s really just such a well done show and it deserved more than this. The episode was pretty good, I can’t say I fully understand or agree with the supposed forces closing in on Kirkman because of choices he made when he really hasn’t done anything that could be considered outrageous or wrong, even, so that didn’t quite ring true to me. I guess though if they were setting up Emily to leave anyway then I’m a little bit glad they didn’t get a third season, because tbh I wouldn’t want to watch the show without her in it (I would still watch it, but I wouldn't be happy about it). Italia’s just such a sweetheart and I think she really brought a lot to the show. The whole tsunami plot was pretty well done, smart of them to place Lyor and Seth there to really pull on the personal stakes. The Hannah plot was interesting, I guess we’ll never get to see the repercussions of her deciding to just shoot the bad lady, and I am kind of sad we didn’t get to see her and Amy running around as a power duo, because that would be pretty epic. And yeah, after that I pretty much started getting ready for bed, and I’m hoping I won’t have too much trouble falling asleep because I do have to be up by 11:45 am (not really early, I know, but still) for PT so being up super late would not be helpful, and I have to wake up early on Friday for my first day at the DV clinic so I’d rather not be overtired. So I guess that’s about it, tomorrow is PT, probably some baking, and hopefully making some progress on actually cleaning my room and sorting clothing, both of which I need to accomplish in the near future. But yeah, should be good. Goodnight my dearies. Sweet dreams. 

[kierongillen]

Writer Notes: The Wicked + the Divine 30

Spoilers, obv.

And another quieter issue, where we primarily delineate the other other half of the issues of 28's reveals, while putting those final few dominoes in position. It's also, art wise, a relatively undemanding one.  The rest of this arc is brutally hard, so an issue where the team could take a breath is also worthwhile. A comic series like WicDiv is a marathon made of marathons. You make it all uphill at your own peril.

It's also one of the more classically structured issues for a while. The issue's effective lead is Dio, and his 3-encounters-in-the-underworld structure the backbone which everything else is built around.

I suspect notes on this one will be short, by the way, but whenever I say that, I'm always wrong.

Jamie/Matt's cover:

That this isn't the best cover in the arc only speaks to exactly how great issue 32 is. Some startling design elements here.

Meredith's Cover:

She's always been great, but seeing her cover for East Of West was the thing which prompted us to go and try and talk her into one. It was a pleasure to work with her – all her design ideas were smart and interesting. We ended up here, because frankly, who can resist hot pink? Not us.

Jonathan Hickman's Cover

Talking about East of West. I've always been envious of Jonathan's designer string to his creative bow, so when we were asked if we wanted to be part of the month of his variants, we jumped at it, if only to see how he'd reinterpret our mythology. This is very much the cult-sci-fi novel alt dimension take on WicDiv.

Page 1-3

I'm always interested in the history of the second page reveal. Old school comic writer guides normally suggest opening with the big image, to throw people in the world. That – and, I feel, especially in the 00s – got changed into the delayed reveal. Enter the world in a quieter way, and then do the big reveal. That means you can create some context quickly, and use that big impact for something a little more complicated.

(It also means if you go to a 2-3 page splash, you can make the image bigger. If I remember correctly, almost all the New 52 books hand that rhythm, which I have to presume was an editorial guideline. I may be misremembering though.)

It's worth noting I say “a little more complicated.” I don't say “sophisticated” or even talk about effectiveness – complicated says nothing about a piece of work's quality. I just mean there's more moving parts involved before the reveal. Look at someone like BKV and his love of the opening splash to see how effective the HELLO, HERE I AM, LOOK AT THIS THING! Can be.

In our case, we have this little conversation between Woden and Cass, and then show what we've done to Valhalla. We've been talking about the plans for this gig for a long time, so we really needed to show what that means. Clearly, the gig is going to be key to the back half of Imperial Phase II, so we really let people have a good stare.

The best thing Jamie did here was make sure there's a stage built into Valhalla, as he correctly guessed they'd be one required for next issue. SMART MAN, THAT MCKELVIE.

This is the sort of page which is primarily expositionary, but by having the characters get together and basically scheme it out hopefully carries it. As you can imagine, there's going to be a statement of exact goals next issue in a similar mode.

(Why not say them here? Efficiency. Don't need to know it yet, and we'd have to repeat it next issue anyway. Why burn the page count twice?)

Cass speaks my own frustration at how people use facebook, I suspect.

The idealist/realist exchange on the first page is a good example of what happens when you have the broad strokes of what's going on, and then let the characters respond to each other. Woden has the Valkyries back? How does he act now? How does Cass respond? Where does that take us?

Page 4

I wrote this  with no interstitials, and decided to add them later, when we saw how the issue was working. I looked at the page turns, and decided pushing everything forward one page would be most effective. Plus that the black of the interstitials does lead us into the underworld.

Page 5-6

And we show Dio where we left him last time. There was even the option to use the same panel if Jamie wanted to cut a corner. He didn't.

The page sets up the rhythm that runs through the issue, which happens three times. This is pure fairy-tale, folklore myth structure. It's also joke structure, in the rule of three way. First statement shows a situation. Second statement shows it is a pattern. Third statement subverts the pattern. It's just a very efficient way of doing basically everything... and that natural rhythm being used everywhere means that it always feels part of some longer, primordial sort of storytelling. I think the six panel is leaning into that – I only want five beats. Establish/show Dio's current state/arrival of Morrigan/Dio's response to Morrigan/Morrigan's final statement. Throw away everything which isn't needed for the folk tale.

(The final “Yeah, you won't” leans into the folklore. Dio signals that this is not just stubbornness, but a plan.)

Have I mentioned the Underworld being the inverse of Young Avenger's mother dimension? I probably have. It serves a similar purpose in terms of a direct thing which allows us to strong arm an atmosphere while also being relatively “cheap” to do in terms of Matt and Jamie's resources. I've done 32 of these. I'm sure I'm repeating myself all over the place. These really off the cuff.

Despite knowing everything I knew about the Morrigan at the start, I found it hard to articulate the key difference between her and Dio succinctly. Eventually, it hit me. Dio wants what's best for people. Morrigan thinks she knows what's best for people. Morrigan will sacrifice a lot, as long as they obey her entirely. When I had that in my head, Morrigan became easier. Easier, anyway. She's never easy.

7-8

Another two page scene – the issue very much runs off those short scenes. The hard cut rhythm is a key part of Imperial Phase II, I think.

I wrote the bottom of Page 7 with three panels, in a “Write minimum numbers of panel.” Jamie adds one to really sell it. He actually does a similar thing next issue as well, which proves he must like eight panel grids more than he claims.

The trick of this scene is signalling to the reader that Woden has done fuck all to any of the equipment. A reader would remember that Woden has a camera on Amaterasu from way back in issue 14, but this confirms it's more general than that.

(There's clues elsewhere – his timing when he turned up in issue 12 was more than a little suspicious, right?)

Of course, lying and sarcasm is one of the hardest things to pull off in comics. Comics, for some reason, lends into credulity in the reader. I'm not sure why, though have my theories. In which case, we really push it – look at all the “Er” and the bolded ADDED in the first panel of page 7.

Oh god. Page 8 had me really fuck up in lettering. I originally wrote Cass being snarky here, and glaring at Beth... having failed to remember Cass wasn't in this scene. Beth basically just teleports Cass to where she is. My brain, it no good.

Page 9-10

I basically said everything in the first iteration, right

Hmm. Badb is oddly unsweary here.

Jamie's working the shadows fascinatingly here – the last panel of Dio is also one of the best.

Page 11-12

This is the one sacrifice to the earlier interstitial – that the instagram pages don't appear on a spread. The loss is solely a visual effect.

These are the “two pages I comic but half a page of work for Jamie”. Clearly, Persephone is absent this issue, and we needed to keep her absence a presence, if you see what I mean. Plus the instagram is a way to do the montage-of-time and events. Its placement here is a lot to do with selling how long that Dio has been down this hole.

I actually wrote considerably more comments for each instagram, but there wasn't room to include them in the framing. It's okay. Don't read the comments.

When wrote Amaterasu's Instagram text and then put my fist in my own mouth out of embarrassment. My next career move may be bullshit internet motivational sentences.

Page 13-14

Third iteration.

As I've said, WicDiv is that conflict between this over-planned structural thing and also the discovery you undergo as a writer when exploring these people. Throughout, I couldn't quite work out why I never had a place for Gentle Annie in the story. I actually like writing her – it has the added bonus of her voice really annoying Chrissy, and I'm very pro annoying my editor. But no – Annie's just not around much.

Clearly, thinking about that leads to this scene, where it's the part of Marian that isn't really getting much play any more. It's probably my favourite Annie scene, which is lucky, I guess, considering where the issue goes. The mixture of twee and utterly scary motherfucker was always the line I wanted to walk with her.

Page 15-16

As much as this scene flirts with total disaster, in this ominous fucker of an issue, it's a relative moment of light. Also a chance for Matt to really push the palette. I will never get bored of his Baal lightning.

The Sakhmet cosplay is delightful.

The reds of Amaterasu's lightbeam form, and the blue of Minerva's chair is another great choice.

There was an editorial discussion over whether Amaterasu appearing in the final panel was too much or exactly the amount of too much. We clearly went that way. This is a playful scene.

Page 17-19

Yeah, this isn't. I'm kind of amazed this is only 3 pages. This issue is tightly wound – there's no scene longer than 3 pages, and the majority is 2 pages – but this feels especially so. It's telling that it's here we move to the eight-panel, that most Phonogram of structures.

(A modified eight panel)

I originally had a different idea for the flashback, bringing Leila back to essentially insert scenes into issue 16, but the space wasn't really there, and felt like formalism would be distracting around here. This is complicated stuff, so let's keep it clean. Notice how Jamie changes the panel shapes to separate the sub-narrative from the main narrative – obviously the blue-greys of Matt do most of the work, but it can't be underestimated.

Let's call out some panels – Baph in the seventh panel of 17, hiding behind the shades and the wise-crack. The fifth panel of 18, which in its blissed certainty, the possible single scariest panel of Morrigan in WicDiv. Oh – and Dio's heartbreaking on the third panel of page 19.

Anyway – boys, sitting in the dark, and trying to talk.

Page 20-23

The second interstitial I added, and a little annoying. I thought I had to add 2 to maintain the final page, and in fact I only needed to add one. As in, my first draft didn't end on a left, and I needed to correct that. I suspect I'll drop this interstitial for the trade, and regain the page turn.

In the end, the reveal that Sakhmet is waiting for a chance to strike at Morrigan isn't a huge reveal – it's a telling one, but not one which breaks the scene in a huge way. And of course, people on digital have all movement between pages be page turns.

I didn't actually have any dialogue in the second panel on 21 at script, which is very much me in a “I have no idea why I would do that – that panel clearly needs a sign that Persephone is rushing to the door or something similar.”

“Beware the Honest – they will hurt you just to feel clean” is one of those lines that has been lying around in my notebook since the start of WicDiv waiting for their scene.

The warm browns of the room and Morrigan's cold blues seem really interesting to me here. Strong choices, Matt.

The final page was also an awkward one – I knew the images, but the actual exact nature of the dialogue refused to be wrestled down precisely until the last lettering pass, where it coalesced.

We do kissing, and it's depressing kissing. WicDiv takes the fun out of everything.

Anyway – next issue is at the printers now and will be with you soon.

Thanks for reading.

[softest-nerd-freddie]

Tagged by lovely @plsshutuprichie so why not give it a try?

Name: Lidia

Gender: Female

Star sign: Libra

Height: 5′5 

Sexuality: bi with leaning to boys

What images do you have set as your desktop/cell wallpapers? On my computer I have eulcs team G2 but just because I’m too lazy to change this and I don’t use computer often and on my phone it’s Owen Teague

Have you ever had a crush on a teacher? Nay

What was your last text message? Okay, noted - to my brother because we tell each other what do we want for our birthday and stuff (I’m getting Pennywise t-shirt y’all :O!!)

What do you see yourself doing in 10 years? If survive this much I will probably work as a doggie trainer living beautiful life with my rats in my own home baking my own cakes

If you could be anywhere else right now, where would you be? Australia, cuddling koalas and capybaras

What was your coolest halloween costume? It wasn’t realy for halloween but I dressed up as Batman to school and it was low budget cosplay but I think about it with tear in my eye

What was your favourite 90′s show? I’d choose X files

Who was your last kiss? your mo-- no, seriously I’ve never kissed

Have you ever been stood up yas, recently a guy stood me up for my brother’s wedding

Favourite ice cream flavor chocolate!!!

Have you been to Las Vegas? well, I’ve never been abroad so I think that speaks for itself xD

What’s your favourite book? how am I supposed to choose one??? This time I’ll go with “Needful things” by S. King

What’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever done? I accidentally bought 1kg of cheese and cried about it. That was wild day

What loser: Stan and Eddie and Richie (and Mike and Ben and Bill and Bev)

tagging: @trashrichie @pennywise-fucker @reddieairconditioner @ricardotrashmouthtozier @lotusgirl16 @ i don’t know, anyone who wants to participate feel like i tagged u!! also, no need to do it!!

[lypreila]

Whoo got tagged ages ago by @jawsandbones , but I’m a lazy fuck so I took till now to get back to her!  Sorry boo!  Tagging only a few.  @fireheartedkaratepup @the-tevinter-biscuit @biggest-gaudiest-patronuses @the-rxven-king but only if they want to!  If you want to and I didn’t tag you, consider yourself tagged! @(insert your name here)

1ST RULE: tag 10 people you want to get to know better 2ND RULE: BOLD the statements that are true

APPEARANCE: I am 5'7" or taller (I THOUGHT I WAS BUT I JUST FOUND OUT I’M 5′6.5″ ANDI FEEL BETRAYED) I wear glasses I have at least one tattoo I have at least one piercing I have blonde hair I have brown eyes I have short hair My abs are at least somewhat defined I have or have had braces

PERSONALITY: I love meeting new people People tell me that I’m funny Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me I enjoy physical challenges I enjoy mental challenges I’m playfully rude with people I know well I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it (Legit)

ABILITY: I can sing well (not as good as I used to.  I used to compete) I can play an instrument I can do over 30 pushups without stopping I’m a fast runner I can draw well I have a good memory I’m good at doing math in my head I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute I have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES: I enjoy playing sports I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else I have learned a new song in the past week I work out at least once a week I’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months I have drawn something in the past month Fandoms are my #1 passion I do or have done martial arts

EXPERIENCES: I have had my first kiss I have had alcohol I have scored the winning goal in a sports game I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting I have been at an overnight event I have been in a taxi I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year I have beaten a video game in one day I have visited another country I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts

RELATIONSHIPS: I’m in a relationship I have a crush on a celebrity I have a crush on someone I know I have been in at least 3 relationships I have never been in a relationship I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them I get crushes easily I have had a crush on someone for over a year I have been in a relationship for at least a year I have had feelings for a friend

MY LIFE: I have at least one person I consider a “best friend” I live close to my school My parents are still together I have at least one sibling I live in the United States There is snow right now where I live I have hung out with a friend in the past month I have a smartphone I have at least 15 CDs I share my room with someone

RANDOM SHIT: I have breakdanced I have had a teacher with the last name that’s hard to pronounce I have dyed my hair I’m listening to one song on repeat right now I know someone who has gone to jail I have broken a bone I have eaten a waffle today I know what I want to do with my life I speak at least 2 languages I have made a new friend in the past year

LAST:

Last drink: Coca-Cola.  Sweet, Sweet caffeine and sugar

Last phone call: Dealing with Western Union support to get a customer a refund.  I low key wanted to break something. 

Last text message: To my friend “Hey Arkham Asylum GOTY is on sale for 4 bucks on Green Man” 

Last song you listened to: Praying by Kesha

Last time I cried: A while ago.  Yall may or may not know I’ve recently been put on Prozac for the depression and I believe it’s working very well. 

HAVE YOU EVER:

Dated someone twice: Ye

Been cheated on: Yes.  Fuck him. 

Kissed someone and regretted it: Yes

Lost someone special: Yes

Been depressed: :See above. 

Been drunk and thrown up: I invoke my constitutional right not to incriminate myself.  (Too many times to count.  I liked drinking when I was a teenager/young adult.  Not so much anymore though)

IN THE PAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

Made a new friend: I have, oddly enough

Fallen out of love: Nope!

Laughed until you cried: Yes! 

Met someone who changed you: I have.  It was all for the good and I love her for it.  

Found out who your true friends are: Not really.  That all happened in 2014/15.  

Found out someone was talking about you: Nope

GENERAL:

How many people on tumblr do you know in real life: One.  A small bean who’s a good artist and the niece of my friend.  I’ve known her since she was a wee babby.  She’s more active on deviant art though.  She cosplayed as Asriel for Hudson Valley Comic Con!!

Do you have any pets: There’s 8 cats and 3 dogs in my house please kill me.  2 cats and 1 pup are mine. 

Do you want to change your name: I wanted to add Elizabeth  after my middle name because it sounded fancy. 

What time did you wake up this morning: Morning? 

What were you doing last night: Re-certifying my Anti-Money Laundering, Western Union, and Prepaid access certifications.  Passed with flying colors, which is good considering I can go to jail if I screw up some of the record keeping requirements or allow someone into the system by accident.  

Name something you cannot wait for: @jawsandbones book to be done and out :D:D:D:D

Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: OH every damn week.  Let me tell yall about Tom Bombard, aka Tom Bombadil, aka Tom the Bomb.  The man has trouble hearing but won’t admit it, hates his wife and family, is the slowest cashier i ever have the misfortune to supervise, and has more ear hair than ANYONE I’VE EVER SEEN IT’S FREAKY.  There’s like a magical forest growing and poofing out if his ears.  Plus poofy chest hair poofing out of his shirt which he leaves the top button unbuttoned.  He is old and short and this is not at all sexy.  

What’s getting on your nerves rn: The fact that I make minimum wage despite doing 3 different jobs, all of which should have a higher pay grade.  But hey.  THey pay minimum wage, they get minimum wage effort.  Except when I’m in the office.  Then they get 110% because I’m doing it for my fellow office bitches, all of whom I love dearly. 

Blood type: ?

Nickname: Shmemmy or Ly. 

Relationship status: Married.  12 years on Nov 27th.  I got married literally 6 months after I turned 21. 

Zodiac sign: Leo.

Pronouns: she/her

Favorite tv show: Right now?  Bojack Horseman, Steven Universe, Archer. I”m more of a documentary person. 

College: Going back soon hopefully. 

Hair colour: Red/orange. 

Do you have a crush on someone: I get crushes every 5 seconds.  They don’t last. 

What do you like about yourself: I am a loyal fucker, and an insanely good multi-tasker when it comes to work. 

FIRSTS:

First surgery: 0.  I are lucky. 

First piercing: Ears, followed by Labret (chin) followed by nose. 

First sport you joined: Equestrian

First vacation: Disney?  I was so young.  Went to Saratoga almost every year, a house in the catskills twice a year.  Out of state every couple of years.  

First pair of sneakers: Kiddo, I can’t remember. 

Eating: Tiddy milk. 

Drinking: I tasted beer when I was about 8?  To this day I’m not a big fan, I prefer liquor. 

I’m about to: Play Overwatch.

Listening to: Criminal Minds in the background. 

Want kids: No, I can barely care for myself. 

Get married: Been there, still doing that. 

Career:  I want to go into medical stuff. 

WHICH IS BETTER:

Lips or eyes: Both

Hugs or kisses: Hugs 

Shorter or taller: Taller…

Older or younger: Doesn’t really matter to me. 

Romantic or spontaneous: Both!

Sensitive or loud: Quiet down you kids!!!

Hook up or relationship: Relationship!

Troublemaker or hesitant: Depends.  I can be a troublemaker.  In spring I liberated a bouncy horse thing from a playground. (I say liberated - I mean stole.  It was broken off of its base and could never be fixed.  His name is Lord Mc Bumblefuck and he lives in my garage now.)

HAVE YOU EVER:

Kissed a stranger: Nope!

Drank hard liquor: Ye.

Lost glasses/contacts: NOpe

Sex on first date: Nope

Broken someone’s heart: I don’t know about that.  Maybe. 

Been arrested: Ye

Turned someone down: Yes

Fallen for a friend: Twice.  Married the second one. ;-)

DO YOU BELIEVE:

In yourself: Nah

Miracles: I believe in the universe. 

Love at first sight: Hah no. 

Heaven: Sort of. 

Santa Claus: All things are real in the minds of those who believe them!. 

[nickireadstfc]

The Raven King, Chapter 12 – No One Is Okay (I Promise)

In which we deal with the aftermath of the Thanksgiving Fuckery, Kevin is apparently not the only one with a choking kink, Neil is still obnoxiously fine, and Betsy is the best person to ever grace this planet.

Sounds good? Then it’s time for Nicki to read The Raven King.

Am I back? Yes.

Am I alive? Physically.

Am I over what happened? Fuck no.

It’s fine, though, because from what I’ve gathered no one else is, either.

No, but seriously – every time the mental image of Andrew on that bed, half-undressed, blood-splattered, has haunted me the past week, I was hit with the biggest rush of new-found love for this character, and a fierce desire to protect him. Andrew frickin’ Minyard. This dude. I love him. I need to protect him.

Anyways.

Life goes on, I guess?

           Neil didn’t know if [the six cops arriving at the Hemmicks’ house] had nothing better to do on a Sunday night or if they’d come following the slip of Kevin Day’s name over the police radio.

Are you telling me Kevin has fanboys in the frickin’ police. Seriously?

I am once again doubting how big of a deal Exy actually is.

After the authorities arrive, one half of the squad is shipped off to the police station, the other to the hospital. What a way to end a Thanksgiving dinner. Amazing. 10/10 would thanksgive again.

Going to the hospital has one silver lining, though (apart from the murder kitten getting medical attention ofc):

Wymack is there!

           “Kevin called me,” Wymack said.

           Neil did the math in his head, but it didn’t add up. (…) The only way Wymack could be standing here now was if Kevin called him when he first went downstairs to get Nicky. Knowing Kevin, Neil bet Wymack got the call before 911 did.

FOX DAD :’((((((( <33333 #phonesoutforwymack #dicksoutforwymack

           “What do you want me to say?”

           “The truth,” Wymack said.

           “No.”

           “Why not?”

Yeah, hombre. You’re not speaking to the police, you’re not speaking to Wymack – why the hell not? They’re not after you, they’re after getting the truth on how Andrew was abused, which will considerably lessen your guilt (as opposed to them just assuming you murdered that guy for the fun of it), which is in your best fucking interest.

So???????

           Something like this demanded complete honesty, and Neil had been lying since he was old enough to speak. He didn’t know how to tell the truth now. If he tried, would it still be the truth, or would he poison the words by saying them aloud?

Alright, honestly, this is one of the moments where Neil just annoys the crap out of me.

Like. There is no actual fucking reason for you not to help your friends (and you, might I add) out of this shitty ass situation, yet you don’t do it because of your fucking angst.

Chill the fuck out and get the fuck real. No one is asking you to tell them your life story, they just need a witness of what happened in that godawful room.

Help your fucking friends out, Josten. Stop whining, help your friends and help yourself.

They get Andrew out of the hospital, they get back to the cousin’s house, and before they even set foor in the door, we get another Prime Andreil Real Talk Time:

           “You helped create this mess. The least you could do is help clean it up.” (…)

           He wanted to say this wasn’t his fault, but they both knew it was. Andrew hadn’t told him about Drake, but he’d said Luther betrayed his trust. Instead of listening to that, Neil sided with Nicky’s hopeful grief. He hadn’t invited Drake to South Carolina, but he’d delivered Andrew into his waiting arms.

Hold up, hold up, hold up. I get the point, but still, this is not Neil’s fucking fault.

Andrew had said Luther “betrayed his trust”, that could have meant anything from “Luther told people I’m borderline alcoholic” to “Luther told people I’m gay”. It certainly did not immediately suggest something like Drake fucking Spear.

Neil helped create this mess, yes. But he did not do it intentionally, and you can bet your ass he wouldn’t have pushed Andrew to go to South Carolina if he had known what it would mean for him.

It’s Drake’s fault for being such an absolute fucker, and it is Luther’s fault for inviting him back into his home despite knowing what he had done in the past.

Also – two can play the guilt game:

           “So you did nothing,” Neil said. “You almost put a knife between Nicky’s ribs when he flirted with me, but you didn’t lift a finger to protect Cass’ other children. You knew what Drake would do to them but you didn’t protect them.”

Not entirely true either – he did lift a finger by telling the only responsible adult he knew at the time who wasn’t Drake’s parents or Higgins (who was pals with Drake): Luther.

And Luther told him he was wrong. He was misunderstanding the situation.

My blood still fucking boils when I think of that expression. I could retch, cry, and yell at the same time.

           “Is this how you stayed quiet?” Neil reached up and took hold of Andrew’s wrist. He couldn’t feel the scars through the cotton sleeve, but he didn’t need to. He knew they were there. (…) “Did you do this so you wouldn’t tell her the truth about her son?”

           “Maybe I did.”

ANDREW :’(((((((((((((((

Protect him.

           “All you had to do was to hold out until graduation and then she would adopt you. So what went wrong?”

Yeah – remember how I jokingly mentioned Kevin having A Thing for choking way back in Book 1?

GUESS WHAT RECURRING INTERROGATION TECHNIQUE-SLASH-KINK IS FUCKING BACK.

           Andrew’s fingers slowly tightened until Neil couldn’t breathe anymore. He refused to shake Andrew off. The tightness in his chest started as simple discomfort but spread until it felt like every bone in his chest would break beneath the pressure.

Seriously, WHY is there so much choking happening in these books.

I can hear y’all going, oh Nicki, wait a second, that wasn’t sexual though, that was only the usual shade of violent we know and love, where’s the sexual tension that should accompany this?

           Instead of letting go, Andrew slid is hand around the back of Neil’s neck and pulled him in close. He put his mouth at Neil’s ear and lowered his voice.

WHOMP – THERE IT IS.

           “Drake deferred his enlistment,” Andrew said. “He wanted to make the most of his last summer with his baby brother. (…) He wanted to get [Aaron and I] in the same place. He could imagine what we’d look like in bed together, he said. It’s be picture perfect.”

I am legit close to retching on my bed.

Seriously, this came like a punch to the gut – mostly because I’d suspected something like this earlier when we saw how protective Andrew was of Aaron concerning Drake.

           [Neil] needed to know if Andrew was screaming behind the euphoria his drugs fed his veins. But Andrew wasn’t, and Neil couldn’t live with that. (…) Tonight didn’t mean anything to him. This was a setback Andrew could sidestep and ignore.

And again – punch to the gut.

What the hell.

I am both hella scared and unbelievably sad. Also, did I mention I want to protect this sick, terrifying dude.

In better news – didn’t I mention, ages ago, how I hope Betsy Dobson comes back lots of times to grace us with wise insights and hot cocoa?

           “Are you still here, Bee?”

           “For a few moments longer,” Betsy said. “The milk’s almost done heating. I picked some up on the way so we could have some cocoa. (…) If we start drinking it now, we can probably make ourselves sick off of it by midnight.”

Oh my god. YES.

It’s been too long, but I can finally bring this back – it’s #cocoaoutforbetsy ALL THE FUCKING WAY.

I missed our Ravenclaw Molly Weasley <33333

           Neil couldn’t believe her. Chocolate wasn’t a fix-it; it wouldn’t make any of this easier to stomach.

Neil Josten has obviously never had chocolate.

I also now desperately want to do a cosplay shoot where all the Foxes just hang out and drink hot chocolate.

           “Neil,” Wymack said.

           “I’m fine,” Neil said.

           Wymack said nothing immediately, then, “Be fine inside where it’s warmer.”

Sassy Wymack is the best Wymack.

Also, can Neil stop being fucking fine.

I mean, it’s a meme and it’s funny, but it’s also worrying the shit out of me.

A couple of hours later – after Neil has had his patented Angst Run™ and Exhaustion Nap™ - Wymack tries talking some sense into him again:

           “Your testimony could speed the process up, you know. You’re the only one besides Andrew and Aaron who was in that room when Drake died, and since Andrew won’t talk either –“

That’s what I fucking SAID. Thank you Wymack, my dude, my man, for having my back.

Also, Andrew’s not talking either even though it – surprise! – would benefit him immensely as well? Amazing. Stunning. These two are meant to fucking be.

           “Get back to bed.”

           “I’m fine.” It was out between he could stop it. (…)

           “Neil,” Wymack said, “between you and me, I don’t think you’ve ever been fine.”

This is potentially the best sentence anyone has ever said to Neil this entire series.

WYMACK MY DUDE.

In his own interest, and because I love and care about this dude – call him out on his ‘Fine’ bullshit. Please.

And as if the angels above (read: Certified Fox Parents™ Wymack, Abby and Betsy) had heard my prayers: Neil gets pressured into running errands with Bee the next morning, which Bee promptly turns into Fun Psychoanalysis Hour.

           “[Nicky] is lucky to have a friend like you worrying about him.”

           “I’m not his friend,” Neil said, “I’m his teammate. (…) What do I need friends for? I came down here to play.”

There are times where Neil just really, really annoys the shit out of me.

This is one of those times.

Like – I get that he’s miserable. I get that he’s angsty. It’s entirely justified. But he gets friends and support handed to him on a platter over and over again – and he refuses to accept it.

And I realized he’ll learn to accept it by the end of the books, he’ll grow into it, he’ll learn to let love in his life, blablabla, all good, all well. But right now, it’s just grinding my gears so much.

In other news – we are now halfway!

Not with the book, but with the entire series!

I’m equal parts sad, excited and glad – sad because that means it’ll end some time, excited for what’s to come, but also (not going to lie to you here) glad it’s ending at some point, because this is just really beginning to take up a lot of my time.

Don’t get me wrong, I love it dearly, I’m glad I’m doing it and I would not want to quit it at any point. But it’s also a lot of work.

And also – that is just halfway? I feel like we’ve been at these books for ages, and so much has happened already. This means we’ve only uncovered about half of all the shit that’s going to go down? What more fuckery could there be??

I have a very strong feeling I don’t want that question answered.

Back to Bee and Neil.

           “You can’t choke back on everything forever,” Betsy said. “You need an outlet, whether it’s with me or David or your teammates.”

           “I don’t need anyone.”

YES YOU BLOODY DO.

I’m v v happy about Actual Angel Bee Dobson pushing Neil towards the healthy and glittering Road Of Mental Health – even if he’s grinding his small angst-ridden orange heels into the ground refusing to budge an inch.

Somebody’s fucking got to help that boy.

Betsy and Neil go shopping, buy Neil a new racquet (RIP Wymack’s bank account) and get Andrew’s knives and keys from the Hemmicks house. Nothing interesting to report here. Next!

           “Where are Nicky and Kevin?”

           “Nicky tried to hug Andrew and almost got himself stabbed with a kitchen knife,” Wymack said.

In the words of a wise man chapters ago: Dammit Minyard, this is why we can’t have nice things.

NICKY :’((((((((((( <333333

#givenickyallthehugs2k17

However, Neil does not give Nicky all the hugs – instead, he frequents one of his all-time favourite hobbies: Eavesdropping on people.

           “This is the only ethical solution,” Betsy said.

What? What is? Solution to what?

           “Andrew won’t agree to this,” Abby said, a last-ditch effort to change their minds. “Going means leaving Kevin behind.”

Andrew? Going?? Going where???

           Neil ignored [Abby] and insisted, “Where are you taking him?”

           “Easthaven Hospital,” Betsy said. “I’m going to take Andrew off his medicine.”

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m sorry, did I mention how Betsy is the best person in this entire series?? Did I?? DID I???

Apart from Wymack and Renee, of course.

Andrew going off his medicine!! Yes!! Fucking FINALLY!!

I’m excited for this because of plot reasons – what will Andrew be like off his meds? More scary? More mellow? Will he still pretend not to care about Exy? Will he still pretend not to care about Neil? Actually – will he still feel the same at all, both about Exy and Neil?

But in all honesty, I’m mostly excited for this because of the simple reason that I want Andrew Joseph Minyard to be happy and healthy.

That’s all I want.

           He’d wanted to hurt Betsy in the car for reinforcing the rules of Andrew’s awful medicine. She hadn’t defended herself because she knew she didn’t need to. She knew just like he did how cruel it was to keep Andrew on his drugs, and she’d already reached out to the people who could help him.

And apparently, that’s all Betsy wants as well.

I cannot thank the universe enough for the existence of this woman.

If you like what I do here and you want to help me continue writing, please consider buying me a coffee! Thank you so much <3

[fuck-customers]

Of Gift Cards and Man-Child

Had a half hour from hell today and gosh it was wonderful.

First, RIP my co-worker who came to work despite being really sick (she left early though) because she couldn't afford to miss a whole work day. Then, less than 5 minutes before her shift ends, she gets the joy of ringing up a woman whose multiple gift cards were not working. I'm personally not sure why they weren't working besides overhearing how they had to be activated??? But the woman was livid about the gift cards not working, saying how her daughter and her spend hundreds of dollars at the store every month. Never saw the woman in the store before though and I work nearly 40 hours a week but k I guess. 

Anyway, because of her getting so upset both my co-worker and my manager were trying to calm her down for almost 20 minutes. Whiiich left me as the only cashier for a line that stayed a consistent 10 people for the rest of the half hour. 

The absolute beeest thing though was ugh this very loud, very rowdy group of guys come into the store. They were loud and obnoxious the whole time and only dude of a group of like 8 needed fabric. And as I'm ringing up the dude for his fabric, one of his friends decides to sit in the wheelchair we keep at the front of the store while shouting to his friends "HEY CHECK OUT MY PROFESSOR X COSPLAY". At first I didn't say anything but kept an eye on them because a lot of people sit down in the wheelchair on a regular basis, they just don't ya know, move it from the front of the store. 

But then this fucker decides to wheel around the front of the store. Hell naw. The moment I see movement out of the corner of my eye I turn my head to face them and project "Please don't play in that!" with a dead look in my eyes and the dude suddenly looks really fucking embarrassed. His friend who I'm ringing up also looks embarrassed like fucking good, you're all grown men in a public space. 

On their way out the guy who was fooling around in the wheelchair called me a b!tch who needs a sense of humor but like dude, you think I have time to humor a man-child when I've got a line 10-deep of tired soccer moms and grandmas who want to get their last minute quilts done before mother's day?