#I'M FCKN DEAD ACTUALLY

[pierrotwrites-hc]

The latest preview has me on a chokehold

[imwritesometimes]

in one week it will officially be one year since I finished a fic edited it & posted it hahaha 😵‍💫😖😞😑

[tenacquity]

Barok van Zieks and Looking into Ryuu's Eyes in a Totally Straight Way (ft. his unhealthy dose of racism)

screaming crying losing my goddamn mind always tAKE ME TO CHURCH—

[basketonthedoorstepofthefbi]

Wingwoman (Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader)

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader

Summary: You take your good friend/coworker, Spencer, out to the bar to find him a girl to hook up with. Things do not go as planned.

Word Count: 5107

Warnings: Romantic/sexual tension! Mentions of drinking / sex

A/N: Hi! I haven't written posted fanfic in like, 8 years, please be nice xD I would love to know your thoughts - if you have any requests or anything, I'm happy to oblige. ALSO -- I have only seen up to Season 7 of Criminal Minds because I'm a fckn loser. Anywayyyyy enjoy! Not my gif btw, all credit to the owner :)

———————————

It was kind of your fault, now that you were thinking back on it. 

Actually, it was definitely your fault, now that you were thinking back on it. 

It had been your suggestion to go out. It had been your idea to act as Spencer’s wingwoman, some last-ditch effort to try to get him out of your mind. He was your coworker, for Christ’s sake. And your best friend. And you’d thought about him desperately for eight of the nine months that you’d known him. 

Emily, Derek, and Penelope had all agreed to tag along, but as the work day went on, each of your coworkers had found some kind of excuse to opt-out. Derek’s niece wanted to Facetime. Penelope forgot Kevin’s birthday was next week and needed to go shopping for a present. Emily had a headache. 

Finding Spencer a romantic prospect on your own was certainly not the plan, but, stupidly, thoughtlessly, you’d decided to go along with it. You could do this. Just one night in a bar, chatting up women for the man you’d slowly been falling for the past eight months. As good of an idea as any, right? 

You and Spencer took an Uber to the bar the group frequented. Ski-ball and pool in one corner, a vintage jukebox and small space set aside as a makeshift dance floor in the other. But the best part - half-off drinks for federal agents. You’d never been one to abuse the badge before, but… 

Three Jack-and-Diet-Cokes later, your moral code had a bit of a crack in it. 

Spencer stood next to you - towered over you, actually, because that man was a fucking beanpole - and you felt his eyes on you as you scanned the crowd. “What about her?” you suggested, jerking your chin to the woman at a high-top table against the wall. She had her nose stuck in her phone and an untouched martini on the table in front of her. 

“She’s clearly waiting for someone,” Spencer pointed out, and you realized he was right just as the woman looked up from her phone and towards the door for the third time in the past minute. “I also don’t understand why you’re so dead set on finding someone to hog me up with.” 

You snorted into your drink. “Hog you up with?” you repeated, turning in your barstool so you faced him. Your knees brushed his thighs. 

“Yeah, is that not…” realization dawned on Spencer and he grimaced. “That’s not the phrase, is it?” 

“Hook,” you corrected, but not impatiently. You made a little hook with your index finger, like a pirate. A little giggle escaped you. “And I’m not dead set on it,” you argued. “I just didn’t want to be the only one leaving the bar with someone.” 

Your eyes flickered up to Spencer’s to gauge his reaction. He seemed surprised by this implication that you planned to leave with someone - someone who was not him. 

“Yeah? Who are you leaving with, matey?” Spencer countered, arching a brow and pointedly looking at your index finger, still in its hooked position. You dropped your hand. 

“It doesn’t matter right now,” you blushed furiously, desperately trying to drive the conversation back to his romantic conquests. Your thought process was that if you actually saw Spencer with someone else in any sort of romantic capacity - dancing, flirting, kissing - you’d finally hurt yourself enough with the sight for those stupid feelings for him to dissipate. “We’re looking for you.” 

Spencer merely hmm-ed in response, an indecisive non-answer, and you noticed he shook his head. Like he was annoyed, but trying not to show it. You swallowed the lump in your throat and polished off your drink before returning to examining the patrons in the bar. You nudged Spencer’s elbow with your own and your gaze landed on the group of three women giggling around one of the tables. “Any of them? The blonde is cute,” you pointed out. 

“Not really into blondes,” Spencer muttered, and you glanced back at him. You could have sworn his eyes were locked on your brunette hair. You opened your mouth to say something, but Spencer cut you off. “But, sure, if watching me strike out will amuse you, Y/N.” Before you could protest, Spencer set his glass down on the bar and started towards the trio of women at the table. 

You leaned down to sniff his glass, curious as to what he’d been drinking. Clear liquid. No smell. Was he… totally sober? 

You watched with narrowed, studious eyes as Spencer approached the women. You could only see the back of his head, but the three women’s faces were perfectly visible. They smiled, friendly, unassuming, and then something came out of Spencer’s mouth that changed their expressions. The blonde in the middle furrowed her brows, and the two women on either side cocked their heads slightly. Spencer’s hand tapped the table and he earned awkward smiles as a goodbye was bid, and when he turned around to head back towards the bar, he just shrugged his shoulders and shook his head, like what are you gonna do? 

“What happened?” you asked as he returned to you. 

“I blew it,” Spencer said matter-of-factly. Too accepting of his defeat. Further supporting your theory that he’d gone over there and purposefully botched it. 

“Right,” you flagged down the bartender to order another drink. 

“You’re getting another one?” Spencer asked. 

You whirled your face to meet his and didn’t see judgment, but rather, concern. “Why does it matter?” you asked, no, dared. 

Spencer shook his head, defeatedly. “It doesn’t,” he grumbled. 

“What about that girl you were talking to earlier by the jukebox?” you asked, nudging his shin with your foot. “The grabby one. She seemed really into you.” 

Spencer visibly gritted his teeth. “I’m not interested.” 

“Are you interested in anyone in this bar tonight?” You asked. The words came too quickly for you to stop them. They were too real. Especially as Spencer’s frown hardened just slightly and you watched him look away from you. 

You took in a sharp inhale, the realization hitting you, the possibility that Spencer might actually feel the same way about you. And that you’d dragged him out here tonight to try and set him up with someone else. You were selfish and thoughtless and stupid. 

You hopped off the barstool, your feet wavering beneath you. “I’d better go home,” you said suddenly, grabbing your bag. You had to leave. You had to go home before you said something stupid, something irreversible. 

You stalked out of the bar and onto the brisk, late-autumn sidewalk. You’d forgotten your coat at the office and insisted you’d be fine. The chill smacked you in the face and you tucked your bag beneath your shoulder so you could cross your arms over your chest and hug yourself for any semblance of warmth. 

Thirty seconds hadn’t even passed before the door creaked and Spencer appeared at your side, throwing his coat wordlessly over your shoulders. “What did I do?” he asked. You looked up at him and saw his eyes - hurt, frustrated, confused. 

Your lips parted and there was a small shake of your head. “No,” you breathed. He furrowed his brows and you explained further. “You didn’t do anything.” 

“Then why the hell have you been so weird around me lately?” Spencer asked, scuffing his shoe against the sidewalk. Like a temperamental first-grader. 

“Weird how?” You asked, trying to pretend like you had no idea what he was talking about. Like your stomach didn’t flip every morning when you saw him. 

“Like you’re… like you’re mad at me. Like you don’t want to be around me,” Spencer looked at the street ahead of the both of you rather than at you. “You always find an excuse to leave the room when it’s just the two of us. You pull Derek or Emily or Penelope into the conversation so you don’t have to interact with just me. You’re out here trying to find me someone to hook up with?” he phrased the last sentence as a question, shaking his head. Your heart lurched. He let out an incredulous laugh. “It’s either you’re trying to shrug me off as a friend entirely, or -” 

He stopped himself. His eyes were fixed on the streetlamp a few feet in front of you. They widened and you felt your heart pound as he slowly met your gaze. The realization hit him, the second half of his sentence lingering, heavy and palpable between the two of you. 

“Or,” you repeated, not phrasing it as a question. Your voice was soft as you said it, your tone anything but a question. 

“Or?” Spencer asked, and you could see his chest start to rise and fall more slowly. 

“Or,” you confirmed, taking in a sharp breath. 

Spencer’s throat bobbed as he looked at you, his gaze piercing and soft, studious and lazy, hungry and satiated all at once. “Oh.” 

Oh. 

“How long?” he asked, turning his feet towards you. 

Your face went red and you lifted your chin, refusing to make yourself feel ashamed of it anymore. There wasn’t any point, not when he knew now. “Since March,” you admitted. Your voice was squeaky. 

“March?” Spencer repeated, incredulous. It was early October now. 

“Yeah,” you exhaled, shrugging his jacket off your shoulders and bunching it up by the middle. You handed it to him. “You don’t have to say anything,” you said. Your body felt like it was on fire. “You don’t have to-”

“I’ve had feelings for you since the day we met.” 

You thought maybe you were hallucinating for a second. Your mouth fell open and despite your three drinks, you remembered clearly that Spencer had been drinking water. This was not some drunken confession, not for either of you, because the second he’d asked you why you had been so weird lately, you had instantly sobered up. “Oh,” was all you managed to choke out.

Oh. 

“Yeah, oh,” Spencer’s mouth twitched up into a smile. That playful, friendly, teasing little smile you’d learned to love on him. He stepped towards you. 

You let out this little half-garbled laugh. Spencer reached for your hand, and you let him. Your fingers spread, allowing his in the spaces between. You looked up at Spencer and little fires shot up your hand. How could merely holding hands feel so monumental? 

“What do we… what do we do now?” You asked, your mind in a haze, like a computer awaiting command. 

Spencer let his jacket fall to the concrete and used his other hand to slowly, almost hesitantly, cup your cheek. He looked down at you and your entire face reddened. “Well,” his voice was soft, crackling, like a fireplace, and he met your gaze with searching eyes. “I’d like to kiss you now, if that would be okay,” he said finally. Your lips turned up into an idiotic smile. 

“I think that would be okay,” you whispered. 

His hands were so soft, you realized. His grip on your hand loosened and he was now cupping your face on both sides. And every nerve in your cheeks was firing off signals - Spencer is touching my face, Spencer is touching my face. Like it was some forbidden thing. But then, as if in slow motion, he ducked his head down and his lips touched yours. Gently, at first, tentative and wobbly like a foal taking its first steps. Your hands rested on his torso - taut beneath that stupid little sweater vest. 

He pulled back after just a moment. It was really only five or six seconds at the most, but you were red-faced and breathless by the time your eyes fluttered open, into his. Spencer’s smile was now a full-blown grin, and your expression mirrored his. “Yeah?” He asked, the word carrying more meaning. You’re into this, right? 

“Yeah,” you exhaled as Spencer dropped his hands from your face, but your hands remained on his torso, not wanting to step away just yet. The syllable meant more coming from you, too. I’m really, very much, super into this. Please, for the love of god, kiss me again. 

Spencer arched a brow ever so slightly, and you nodded your head. 

Just like a dance, Spencer’s hands moved to your waist, and at the same time, you slid yours around his neck. He backed you up, completely disregarding his jacket on the sidewalk, until you were flush against the brick wall belonging to the bar. The brisk October breeze ruffled through his hair and yours, yet, suddenly, neither of you were terribly concerned about the weather. 

He kissed you again, and this time it wasn’t as timid. Slowly, at first, his lips pressed against yours, and then his tongue darted out. It teased your lips in silent invitation, and you opened them to grant him access. His hands were everywhere, your hips, your hair, your face. You had moved your own down to his torso again. He coaxed the tiniest little mewl out of your throat, a completely uncontrollable and inevitable noise. 

Spencer’s low, gravelly groan reverberated through your mouth. Your hands gripped the bottom half of his shirt, balling it up in tight, white-knuckled fists. An unmistakable hardness brushed against your thigh. You were perfectly content to stay right there, pinned against the exterior wall of a D.C. bar, but the sound of a car honking its horn peeled Spencer off of you. 

His face was flushed and you released his shirt from your grasp. He let out a small grunt, stepping away from you to grab his jacket off the ground, wrinkling it haphazardly in his hand, holding it strategically over his middle. 

Oh, he liked you a lot. 

“You okay, Spence?” You asked all-knowingly, cocking your head to the side, leaning against the wall, lifting a foot to plant against it. 

Spencer shot a set of narrowed eyes at you, as if noting your smirk and storing it for later. “Yeah, I’m great,” he said, obviously struggling a little bit. His eyes quickly left yours and looked everywhere but at you. 

You didn’t want to embarrass him too much. So you just crossed your arms over your chest and looked at the sidewalk. But the smirk on your face wasn’t going away quite so easily. You considered briefly trying to talk to him about baseball or something to try and help him out, but you decided pointing it out would just humiliate him. Plus, it was a nice little ego boost, knowing you could get him like that with just a simple touch. 

He took a second, but he finally cleared his throat and met your gaze. You sucked your front teeth with your tongue and then bit your lip. “Want me to call an Uber?” You asked. 

Spencer just nodded, and you pushed yourself off the wall, stepping over to join him, digging your phone out of your pocket to order the car. “You okay?” You asked him again after submitting the request on your phone. Spencer’s face was still flushed, but he just nodded and reached for your hand. “Careful,” you warned, unable to resist the opportunity to tease him. “Don’t want you having an-“

“Shut up,” Spencer cut you off, and you snickered. 

——————————————————

You had never been in Spencer’s apartment before. It was unmistakably his, with stacks upon stacks of books in lieu of furniture. 

There was a sofa in his living room, along with a coffee table, a couple of lamps, and a television on a stand. The remaining space, besides a few spots here and there and a clear path with which to maneuver the room, was filled with books. 

You had never seen so many books in someone’s possession before. And sure, you were an avid reader yourself. But nothing like this. Your heart fluttered at the sight, not only because books simply just made you happy, but because it was an incredibly endearing detail about Spencer. Your Spencer. 

He shut and locked the door after you stepped inside, looking around with a childlike, awestruck grin. The TV had a thin layer of dust over the screen - he clearly didn’t use it often. And as you trailed a finger along the top of the nearest stack of books, you felt a pair of eyes watching your every move. 

You and Spencer had both been quiet in the Uber ride here. He had simply held your hand, swiping his thumb across the back of your palm every few seconds. You would occasionally meet his gaze, but then quickly, bashfully, look away, like the two of you were teenagers. 

It was so strange to think of what he had said to you - I’ve had feelings for you since the day we met. How had you not figured it out before now? 

You supposed you had been hiding your true feelings as well, so he was allowed to, too. 

There wasn’t any point in wishing to change the past, you reminded yourself. All you should be focusing on is right now. 

And right now, the street lamps peeked in through Spencer’s living room window, glinting off of his endless brown eyes and making them look like he had the moon in his irises. 

“So,” you said softly, not nearly as wicked as you had been when you were teasing him on the street by the bar. “This is where you live.” 

“Uh-huh,” Spencer bobbed his head, that awkward, straight-line smile crossing his face.

“Lot of books,” you pointed out. 

“Yep.” 

You arched a brow, a teasing smile crossing your face once again. “What’s with the monosyllabic conversation?” 

Spencer clenched and unclenched his fists at his side. “It’s just… really difficult to just stand here and not touch you,” he admitted, a sheepish smile crossing his face. 

You grinned. “You can touch me,” your voice dropped an octave, without you even really thinking about it. 

Spencer licked a canine with the tip of his tongue. God, that tongue. You remembered how he’d teased you less than an hour ago outside of the bar. “Maybe I will,” he shrugged, and you rolled your eyes. 

“You can’t really play it cool, right now, Spencer. Not when I just gave you a-“

“Please stop talking,” Spencer laughed, crossing the room and cupping your cheeks in his hands all in the same movement. You snickered and he kissed you and anything you might have been wanting to make fun of him for was forgotten about. 

You pressed your hands against his chest - holy pectorals, Batman - and craned your neck up so you could reach him. Spencer slid his own hands down your arms and to your hips, and you looped your arms around his neck. One palm flattened against the back of his head, holding him in place, fingers curling around pieces of his soft hair. 

Your heart was hammering away, and there was this aching, hot feeling that was pooling in your core and you all of a sudden felt hungry. Starving for Spencer, for every piece of him, for fully and finally crossing that line from friend to lover. An insatiable hunger for nearly every moment since you’d known him.

Finally you broke away from him, simply because oxygen was a necessity, and he rested his forehead against yours. Your eyes were still closed and your fingers ground into his scalp. “Look at me,” he requested, his voice low. 

Your eyes opened obediently and one of Spencer Reid’s hands curled under your chin. His face moved away from yours but his gaze was locked on yours, a pinpoint, a Northern Star. 

And when Spencer spoke again, your knees buckled. 

“I want you.”

Your mouth fell open, ever so slightly, and you nodded. “I want you, too,” you whispered. 

“Are you still…?” He asked, his eyes searching yours. You’d had three drinks earlier that evening, after all, but you’d polished the last one off nearly an hour ago. Maybe not fully sober, but sober enough to know what you wanted. 

“I’m fine,” you assured him. 

Spencer inclined his head to the side. “You’re sure? Can you pass a sobriety test?” 

You narrowed your eyes at him before you realized he was being sarcastic. You stepped back from him, shrugging off his hands, and extended your arms, touching your nose with your left hand, then your right. Spencer just laughed, and reached out for you, tugging you back to him. “Okay,” he chuckled, planting a kiss on your neck. You let him. “You’re fine, then?”

“I’m fine,” you agreed, shrugging him out of his sweater vest, and then reaching for the buttons on his shirt underneath. 

Spencer kissed your neck as you fumbled with the buttons - how were buttons suddenly impossible to undo? Your head craned back just slightly on instinct, wanting - needing - to allow Spencer more access. Your dexterity had become abysmal at this point, and Spencer’s lips were kissing your neck, down your throat, teasing at your collarbone. “Spencer,” you managed to groan out, a wave of annoyance present in your tone. 

“What?” he asked, pulling back, concern filling his face. 

You realized you had actually worried him. “Oh, no, no,” you waved it away, and he visibly relaxed. “I’m just really frustrated, because… because your shirt,” you stammered, and Spencer’s mouth twitched up into a smirk. 

“My shirt,” he stated. 

“That one, right here,” You laughed softly, curling your fingers around the buttons. You managed to wiggle one free, then another. Spencer leaned forward to continue kissing your neck, but you held a hand up to stop him. “Hang on,” you murmured, working through another button, and one more. “I’m concentrating.” 

“You’re sticking your tongue out,” Spencer snickered. Your eyes met his and your cheeks flushed.

“I’m concentrating!” Your voice rose slightly in self-defense. Spencer’s hands went to your hips. 

“It’s adorable,” he told you. “You make the same face at work. When you’re in the middle of filling out a form or trying to open a new bottle of coffee creamer without spilling it,” Spencer rubbed circles in your hips and your fingers stopped working again. 

“You noticed that kind of stuff?” You asked softly, looking up at him with doe eyes.

Spencer just nodded. “All the time.” 

I’ve had feelings for you since the day we met.

You inhaled sharply, finally undoing the last button.The skin beneath the shirt was pale, smooth, and perfect. And when he slid his arms through the sleeves and the shirt fell to the ground, you bit your lip, unable to help it. 

“Y/N?” 

You met Spencer’s gaze and let out this awkward little laugh. Embarrassing, really, if you hadn’t been in the company of your best friend. “You okay?” he asked, and you felt a little giddy as you nodded, moving your hands to his neck and standing on your toes to kiss him again. 

You didn’t know which direction the bedroom was in, so you just took a guess, pushing him back towards one of the doors. He kept his hands on your hips and his lips pressed against yours as he guided you, walking backwards, to the right door. You entered the bedroom and could not possibly be bothered to look around right now, not when Spencer was guiding you in a circle by merely touching your hips, not when the back of your knees hit what was unmistakably a mattress, not when you fell back against it. 

Your eyes were shut, unwilling to take in your surroundings as Spencer guided you onto your back. You toed off your shoes before lifting your legs, and Spencer hovered over you. Your lips were locked with his the entire time. And when you finally opened your eyes and you saw only Spencer, you grinned like a fool. 

Spencer’s fingers were like taking a shower. They were all over you - your hips, first, then your stomach, and you had to resist the urge to giggle because they tickled as he teased the bottom hem of your shirt up. You sat up slightly to get the blouse over your head and you watched him discard it onto the floor. And then his hands were over your chest, thumbs teasing under the wire of your bra, outlining the shapes of your breasts. 

Your breathing had gone heavy and staccato by this point, your body sinking into the mattress, shipwrecked as Spencer touched you. His eyes wandered over your and that little smile on his face was enough for you to know that he was immensely enjoying himself. 

“Can I…?” Spencer’s hands wandered down and gripped your pants as he looked into your eyes, a brow arched. 

You swallowed a lump in your throat and your blush appeared over your cheeks at the same time as his. “Yeah,” you whispered, and Spencer helped you wiggle out of your pants - black slacks, since you had gone straight from work to the bar. They were soon tossed to the floor, and you were only in your underwear and your bra. And Spencer’s brown eyes did not make you feel objectified or embarrassed, but safe. 

“You’re so beautiful, Y/N,” he told you, seriously, and your breath hitched in your throat. 

“You-”

“I’m not done,” Spencer cut you off, lifting a hand to run his thumb down your chin. “You’re so beautiful. And you’re so kind, and smart, and funny. And I’d really like to show you how much I care about you,” he looked into your eyes as a sort of request. 

“I’m not on birth control,” You breathed out in response, feeling your cheeks redden for even bringing it up. Way to damper the mood. Still, you wanted to be responsible. “Do you have a c-”

Spencer’s soft smile turned into a wicked grin and he shook his head. “We’re not going to need one,” he promised, and after looking into his eyes for a moment, you understood. 

________________________________________

Spencer had thoroughly worshiped you, until you quaked and cried out with absolutely no thought to how thin his apartment walls might be. Usually, you didn’t allow yourself to be the center of attention for too long, but Spencer had insisted, and, well, you couldn’t very well deny him what he wanted, right? 

Covered in a thin sheen of sweat, your hair matted to the back of your neck, Spencer finally lay down beside you. Your breathing was just starting to come back to you as you turned on your side to face him. Spencer’s body mirrored yours, the tips of his fingers - those fingers - trailing up the side of your arm. “That was…” his voice was soft, gravelly, and he looked at you like you had anything to do with it. It was literally all him. “Incredible.” 

“Yeah,” you managed to breathe out, unable to really focus on anything besides the curve of Spencer’s lips, the way the apples of his cheeks appeared when he smiled like this. Spencer kissed your lips, unlike any way he had before. All the other kisses tonight had been hungry and excited, exploratory and new. This one was lazy and slow and you let his tongue dance across yours, and when he finally pulled away, your nose scrunched up in delight. 

Your eyes traveled from his lips, down his neck, his collarbone, then back up, taking him in. The glow of his skin, the tired yet exhilarated look in his eyes. So different now than at the beginning of the night, when he’d looked at you with that slightly annoyed expression as you had tried to set him up with other women. You recalled how he had gone off to that group of three women right before you’d abandoned the bar, how he had struck out on purpose just to satiate your nagging. “What’d you say to those women tonight?” You asked him curiously, furrowing your brows at him. 

Spencer, in turn, arched his brows at you. “Why?” 

“Because I’m curious,” you said as his fingers continued to trail, feather-light, up and down your arm. You traced your thumb along his jawline, stopping at his chin. “You were obviously blowing it on purpose.” 

Spencer rolled his eyes. “I actually do have some game, despite what Morgan might say,” he said, his tone defensive. 

You snickered. “Sure you do, Spence. Took you, what, eight months, to get me in your bed?” 

Spencer shot a playful glare at you and pinched the skin on your arm. You squeaked in response and he just laughed. “I just asked them how they were doing tonight,” he said finally, and you knew just from the look on his face that he was lying. 

“You did not,” you pushed back. “Come on, Reid, spill it.” 

“Ok, fine,” Spencer heaved a sigh and rolled his eyes, sitting up in the bed, his back against the headboard. You sat up, too, looking at him with concern. Why was he so embarrassed? “I told them… Jesus.” Spencer rubbed the space between his brows with his thumb and his forefinger. “I told them I was here with a coworker that I had a massive crush on, and that you were trying to set me up with someone else,” he began. 

You started to smile. 

Spencer continued. “I told them that I had absolutely no interest in going home with anyone tonight, and that I had been purposefully striking out all night long because I couldn’t stand the thought of even trying to look at someone the way I look at you.” 

Your smile grew and you moved to sit on your knees, inching closer to Spencer and throwing one leg over him, effectively straddling him against the mattress. “So I asked them,” Spencer continued, his lips turning slowly from an exasperated frown to a small smile. “I asked them if they could just look at me like I had said something stupid, and then I would leave them alone.” 

“Did they say anything to that?” You asked as Spencer’s hands found your hips, contouring to match the curves into the small of your back. 

Spencer’s voice got slightly lower, more serious, when he said, “The girl in the middle did. She said ‘that girl definitely has feelings for you, too’. And then they did what I asked, and I walked back over to you.” 

“She did not say that,” you rolled your eyes, just as Spencer kissed your lips. 

“I have an eidetic memory, Y/N,” he reminded you in a low whisper, as his lips lingered against yours. “Would I lie to you about that?” 

[alphawolfstabs]

Hey Billy

First off in Resident Evil: Afterlife somehow Wesker is using and holding TWO FUCKING DESERT EAGLES. That seems a bit problematic to me a little bit but you know movie magic right?

Now for the actual question.

If we were in a zombie apocalypse what guns would you use? How would you suit up in a situation like that if you were in let's say The Last of Us, Walking Dead, and Resident Evil kind of situation? Okay maybe not those exact choices maybe start off gentle and scary like The Last of Us.

MOVIE MAGIC IS SO WHACK. T W O DESERT EAGLES??? Jfc, good luck doing that irl.

Anywho-

This will probably be a long post.. whoops but here we are.

STARTING WITH The Last of Us bc currently, in love with that game so it’s fresh in my head:

WEAPONS:

• first things first, some kind of switch blade or, ofc, trusty butterfly knife. Reason being: you’re gonna need a knife or two, you can’t really go in guns blazing all the time, especially for the fckn clickers.

• Pistols: I’d choose a nice classic Colt 1911 pistol. Reason being is quite simple. It’s very popular and has been for a while, John browning gun, 9mm which I find snazzy, low recoil, can be made withhhhh.. polyester I think? Which makes the carryweight good. DOWNSIDE: it can roughly hold 8-10 rounds in the mag, which depending on the situation could be really good or really bad.

Another neat pistol I’d choose would probably be FN Five-seveN. The ammunition is a 5.7x28mm…? 26? 28? One of those- anyways it’s known for its low recoil but good penetration skills. 20 rounds ‼️ The pistol has a Picatinny rail on the lower frame for mounting accessories such as lights, lasers, or red dot sights which would probably be good for certain situations.

• Rifles: I think I would keep at least two rifles on my person- yes they’re big BUT rifles. One that I, for sure, would choose would be the Mossberg 464. Reasons: ITS A LEVER-ACTION. It’s a snazzy gun, good for long distance and such. Not to mention, I just.. I have a problem BSHSJDJEJ. unfortunately, it does only hold 6 rounds but that’s okay bc it’s worth it.

Another Rifle would be the FN SCAR. Reasons: It's a gas-operated, short-stroke piston system, which is known for its reliability and reduced recoil, usually holds 30 rounds, quick change barrel system- over all? I think it would be pretty good against clickers

• Shotguns: LEVER ACTION SHOTGUN. Reasons? ....It's a lever action shot gun man, that's all tbh- one downside is how it only has roughly 6 shots but that's okay bc mmmm lever action.

• How I would suit up: If I'm not experienced and it's just happening, I would be that idiot wearing hoodies and converses and jeans. I have emotional attachments to my jeans fgjakfgdafh

• However If I am experienced and I know what I'm doing: I would probably wear lighter clothes, like a t-shirt and probably still my jeans, because jeans actually would protect me alot- and if I could find some, I would also wear body armor. I would most likely have a good book bag to fit all my shit in like medical supplies, food, water- all of that snazzy shit.

The Walking Dead:

So for this I would take a much much different approach. I would own ONLY two guns, since the noise can draw herds towards you.

• I would have a fckn SEXC Colt Python revolver. [Think rick Grimes- his gun.] Reason: It's a fucking BEAUTIFUL gun, its a .357 magnum so it's got a kick to it and its GOOD. I would use it for emergency use. The second gun I would use would most likely also just be the silly 1911.

• As for more silent weapons, I would use a crossbow. Probably a compound crossbow tbh- Because the mechanical advantage provided by the cam and cable system, along with the increased arrow speed, contributes to the accuracy of compound crossbows- So it's rather very very fast and effective.

Suit up:

If I'm just starting out I would become a hermit. Stay inside with my shit until I run out and need to go get supplies. However If I'm used to everything, I think I would suit up in a similar way as I would in tlou, simply because that, to me, is the simpliest and best way to suit up.

Now I would LOVE to do this for resident evil but, alas, I do not know that game the best. However if I ever get around to watching a gameplay of it, I'll most likely make a post and tag you :)

Thanks for this ask btw!! I love talking about "What if" Situations fgejkgfeakfuy

[nopoodles]

Incorrect Quotes Tag

Rules: use this generator to make some incorrect Quotes with your characters

Tagged by @dontjudgemeimawriter

Using characters from Welcome To Humanity because it's release day and also because the first one was so fckn poignant for those characters.

Blue: I'm feeling it! What am I feeling? Death, probably.

Petite: Maybe the real monster was the friends we both literally and figuratively murdered along the way.

Ravi: If I fall down these stairs, I'm just going to lay down and accept my fate

Petite: I got grounded for a whole week just because I came home late.

Blue: Well, you deserved it. I mean, getting everyone's hopes up like that and then showing up again.

Blue: That sounds super! Doesn’t that sound super, Petite?

Petite: No.

Blue: I think I speak for Petite when I say it sounds really super.

Ravi: Yeah, well I've never died so how do I know that god is real. [Ravi, you did die, that was a pretty significant thing that happened before the book starts]

Ravi: What situation is not instantly improved by the addition of fishnets, I ask you.

Blue: Being a fish.

Ravi: Well, shit.

Ravi: In your opinion, what is the height of stupidity?

Blue, turning to Petite: How tall are you?

Petite, near tears: Please, Blue, I don’t speak meme! I don't know what a 'yeet' is

Petite: Blue! I thought you were dead!

Blue: No, just in deep cover.

Petite: ...But it was an open casket.

Blue: It was very deep

*

As for people to be betagged with absolutely zero pressure to actually do the tag if you don't want to: @avrablake @asher-orion-writes release day took a lot of brain power. Pls consider yourself tagged if this sounds like fun

[denialcity]

Just came across that I want to dissect u madatobi art again, and after all the ot3 au stuff I'm just imagining that but tobiizu. And Izuna is all like 😳🥰👉👈 "really? That's so sweet, I want to dissect you to!" Then they did lmao. Like is that not how that conversation went?? They deserve each other lmao, fckn insane both of them

HONESTLY the only real obstacle to this in everybody lives au is that Tobirama knows exactly what's wrong with Izuna within, like, a month of Konoha being founded. Taka will say out loud in public that he doesn't care at all about Izuna or Kunimi, it wasn't hard to figure out that Izuna got fucked up by that. (Vs blessed sacrifice au Madara, who is fucked up in so many ways that Tobirama does not know the explanations for.) Also Izuna is very good at pretending not to be fucked up, so Tobirama probably doesn't realize the full extent until after they've started dissecting each other already.

...Tobirama might want to dissect Taka as a result of that, though. What's wrong with your brain that you're capable of literally not caring about your baby brothers, Taka. Does not compute. Sit still while Tobirama gets a scalpel.

Luckily for Meguru's sanity though Taka doesn't like Tobirama either, so Tobirama has the sense not to bring that one up even when he really wants to.

Tobirama might want to dissect Izuna just because Izuna is an Uchiha, though. Or, alternately:

Tobirama: I wish I could dissect your brother, there's so much wrong with him. Izuna: By that logic, shouldn't we be dissecting you? Izuna: Too bad you’d be too dead to find out the results. Tobirama: Actually I have an idea for how to get around that, but there were other priorities and I had to put it on hold-- Izuna: nOT ANY LONGER where are your notes

And then they both fixate on it until it's ready, and periodically bicker about who gets to go first as they work. Tobirama probably wins. The first time each of them gets dissected they have a lot of fun (?) identifying internal scars that they gave each other.

[good-things-do-happen-dean]

001 - SUPERNATURAL & 002 - DENNY

omg how did I just realize how much is involved in these haha here we go!!

spn:

favorite character: got to go with my boy cas. he!!! is so fascinating and also beautiful and just?? his character arc!!!! if only the writers respected this amazing being they created

least favorite character: lucifer or john winchester. that’s a tough call here, i think it’s a tie folks (this does not include casifer, who is. separate in my mind for some reason? [perhaps that reason is misha vs mark the world may never know {it definitely is}])

5 favorite ships: dean/benny, dean/cas/benny, dean/cas, sam/eileen, hmmmmm dean/lisa makes me fckn sad but that’s mostly bc of ben, so i’m going to go with sam/amelia I think (also sad)

character I find most attractive: benny in part due to that image in wayfinding (if you know you know, and if you don’t.........read the handily provided link and also you’re welcome)

character i would marry: ooh an interesting question bc i don’t really think i want to get married in real life but i guess if i had to pick someone then benny, my love my heart. hold me and cook for me and wear suspenders hanging off

character i would be best friends with: i would love to be cool enough to be best friends with claire but probably donna or charlie if we’re being more realistic!!

a random thought: i'm thinking about our headcanon about monkey the dog 🥺 but hmm i’ve been thinking about the End recently

an unpopular opinion: oh god idk what’s unpopular and popular i'm so out of the loop but for an uncontroversial (?) one i'm going with librarian!cas is better than professor!cas

my canon OTP: dean/benny they’re canon not sorry about it. charlie is literally like “how are u handling ur break up?”

my non-canon OTP: dean/cas/benny is love, dean/cas/benny is life

most badass character: look. linda tran. or billie.

most epic villain: ABADDON she’s so fckn cool

pairing I am not a fan of: sam/rowena! better as mentor/mentee for me idk

character I feel the writers screwed up: BENNY, but more screwed over. my baby deserved better (aka to LIVE)

favorite friendship: dean & charlie (i'm over here crying)

character I most identify with: probably? charlie? 

character I wish I could be: CLAIRE partly bc i just...want to look like kathryn newton but also SHE is so interesting

denny:

when I started shipping them: immediately. benny showed up in purgatory? boyfriends. and this was when i was still watching live so whatever year that was

my thoughts: too many to count oh my god. they are SO GOOD FOR EACH OTHER. no, i will not be taking questions at this time

what makes me happy about them: EVERYTHING. EVERY. THING. those boys are soft for each other

what makes me sad about them: THE FACE DEAN MAKES WHEN HE HUGS BENNY RIGHT BEFORE HE FUCKING BEHEADS HIM. HELP. ALSO THE FACE DEAN MAKES WHEN HE AND CAS ARE IN PURGATORY IN S15 AND HE ASKS WHERE BENNY IS AND THE LEVIATHAN SAYS HE’S DEAD.

things done in fanfic that annoys me: oh? hmm idk actually! maybe if their relationship is just about sex? like these boys definitely can get it on, but they love each other so much i'm 🥺

things I look for in fanfic: uhhhh for there to be fanfic at all hahahahahahaah (laughing through the pain)

my wishlist: 1. benny lives (too real?)

who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: cas with either of them tbh, but better if it’s cas with BOTH

my happily ever after for them: 1. benny lives, 2. they can handle it from there but the two of them retiring and living in a lil house and loving each other with their whole hearts. basically luminism. @cherryberrynice you just....get them

[ishouldreallybeelsewhere]

our flag means death thoughts

spoilers below the cut (please watch the show)

HOLY MOTHER FUCKING HELL THAT WAS SO FUCKING GOOD

it's 5:43am, monday morning, i watched all 10 episodes in one sitting and, even tho i've got an english exam later, i don't regret it one bit

where do i even start??

how about jim? holy crap seeing a non-binary person in a tv show?? and like,, a show not set in a highschool?? duude fuck i'm so happy right now

and actual gay people!! on screen!! and it's not queerbait!! fucking hell,, really made my day holy shit

honestly though, unless i go episode by episode i don't think i'll manage to get all my thoughts out, but holy crap i don't think a show has made me this fucking happy in a long time

everything about all the characters was on point, i better not fucking hyperfixate on this and having actual rep in a really good show?? where everyone is like a pretty awful person but also rad as hell? cuz, y'know, fckn pirates!!

honestly this show was even more than i hoped it would be. like i didn't think stede and blackbeird would actually kiss!! i assumed it would just be jokes and subtext(??) the whole way through but no!! it's a fucking gay love story about pirates!?!? literally so fckn good

one issue i have is the death (maybe) of lucius cuz i rlly like him, but i know he's most likely dead, which is good for like stakes n stuff but bad cuz i rlly liked him :(

if i'd known how this show was gonna be, i would've watched it a while ago, but i think today was a good day to watch it

overall, i'd recommend it to basically everyone, tho maybe 14+ or smth lol,, and it was just a great watch. i wish there was more, but 5 hours was pretty perfect cuz it left me just over an hour to sleep in lol

[kkukkung]

Im crying in the school bathroom rn I seriously love wonho so much I'm in pain why is he my ideal guy in every way he's so amazing and handsome and sweet but whO CARES BEVause he don't kno me haha am I right

big mood all the time im always in pain bc he rly................ doesn’t KNOW i would let him shave off my eyebrows if he wanted 2

tardy replies as usual under the cut!

(sorted from oldest to newest)

I wouldn't even care if wonho was a high maintenance boyf tbh I'd just sit and comb his hair all day and tell him he's pretty

hdjkfh this was so long ago but i think i was mostly kidding abt him being a high maintenance bf... like he would do so much giving? but i guess the only thing he’d need is constant reassurance that his s/o loves him imo jfdhgjk... i also think he’d b someone who either doesn’t settle down ever or does it very late in his life!

annie 🌹literary queen ❤️ literally crowned with a laurel wreath! not be drum attic but this midsummer nights monsta au is so!!!! give me sistar as the four star crossed lovers then drag me to h*ll and give me this doctor faustus au i'm itching for with kihyun as faustus and k.will as mephistopheles bc i love to watch my faves s*ffer but don't let me rip until i get my much ado about nothing au with the entire cast of starship ent and a lil cameo from giriboy!

(in refence to this monsta x as shakespearean archetypes ask!) fjdshgkjs shh i lov u... why is k will as mephistopheles so Accurate esp no.mercy k will lmao. um u should write all of these? in fact if... if anyone has mx literary aus.... hmu...... i’ll n*t

another thing about that incident is that it seems like the fan doesn't think Changkyun and Jooheon undersood them?? (an extension i guess they assumed they don't understand english very well) and that's pretty problematic. it seems to me that when they didn't respond the fan assumed they didn't understand and kept repeating it, as a joke. but they literally did That to the two with the most proficient english in the group... it's rly a mess all around. it's disrespectful through and through

(in relation to that gross “d*ddy” incident from a while ago) ik i feel like some intl fans think korea is a land completely culturally and linguistically alienated/divorced from the rest of the world or something and while cultural relativism is real to some extent... the idea that koreans are completely unaware of ~outside~ things is deeply racist. like mostly white ppl think that diasphoric poc are completely Different from them? when my mum went to the states 15 years ago some ppl literally asked her if there were newspapers in china lol...

i just randomly thought of monsta x as sesame street characters mostly bc i wanna see kihyun and wonho duke it out as bert and ernie (kihyun w/ the waste paper bin on his head and wonho asking 'where's the waste paper bin' and kihyun saying 'ask me that again and look into my eyes') and also minhyuk being elmo tbh...

JKGHKJDF PLEASe!!!! when will something like this b photoshopped... minhyuk as elmo is... spot on... i remember once elmo appeared on a now-discontinued late night talk show program i used to watch when i was in primary school and he was like “elmo likes wasabi, that’s why elmo has no eyebrows” and idk why ive never been able to forget this????? very lmh. also this made me think of a monsta x muppets au n minhyuk is the pic of ass-gape kermit.... next post of mine will b monsta x as kermit reaction pics

Hyungkyun is such an under appreciated ship. Like, they just get each other so well? Why do people overlook it. ㅠ.ㅠ Do you have a moment that made you ship them? How would you describe their dynamic?

it’s bc they’re intp x intj they don’t rly... Understand each other with minimal effort/real communication lmao it’s very efficient. both quiet lil darlings who aren’t emotionally That Open but enjoy their own little space together sometimes?? their dynamic is like... they’re weird in different ways but they’re v chill together. u can tell hyungwon is super fond of changkyun like he has this Expression when ck does anything at all.... i think these two rly love each other’s personalities bc they’re both kind/gentle/peaceful types and their overall ?? vibe is just highly compatible... they’re absolute darlings... v soft together... i can’t think of a favourite moment but i rly rly love their birthday messages for each other last year like changkyun’s message for hyungwon was like “ur rly cool bruh ur rly such a great person” and hyungwon’s message for changkyun was rly... just him obviously doting on him n finding him cute jksfdhg i lov them a lot :(

soyou: i know how to make hair pretty :))) knetz: dirty fckn iljin why can't she be out there being being PRODUCTIVE in society by having babies and learning how to be a good wife for her future husband ://// smh how dare she be successful now when i'm stuck doing what society wants me to do but also anonymously attacking ppl i don't personally know on the internet bc THATS respectable the irony of ugly knetz is so transparent

The whole thing about Knetz and wonho's "scandalous" past reminded me of something. As a PSA to those people who are so insistent and pushy that idols aren't allowed to have sex/date/be anything but straight: Fuck all of you. You do not own these people, and if you really cared about them you'd be happy if they were happy. Like tbh, if anyone that famous and busy could also balance out a relationship at the same time, I'd be so happy for them. It really bugs me how all idols are supposed (1/2)(2/2) have this squeaky clean innocent image where they have to look and act a certain way and have these stupid fucking dating bans because once they don't meet up to that image their success suffers. Idols already give up so much privacy, and the last thing they need is millions of people scrutinizing every little thing they do. I don't even know where I started this rant from, but basically, GIVE IDOLS PRIVACY AND DONT JUDGE THEM FOR THEIR PASTS OR FOR BEING IN RELATIONSHIPS OR WHATEVER

yeth ty for highlighting the gross obsession w purity and productivity (like the first anon said -- a very confucian sort of ideal)... i don’t rly have anything else to add here i think. also i would fight for soyou i fact i would fight lmh who said she was his ideal type in no.mercy era... she’s rly one of my faves and the way she was slandered for the hairdressing thing was one of the most ridiculous things knets ever did lmao honestly yuk

u a kihyun stan now👀👀👀

im a @fhiz​ stan it’s the same thing tbh

ahh so i saw your tags on that jh gifset! as one of the few jh stans (or maybe there are way more than i think there are lol) i rly love his "reversal charm." he has a lot of what i lack as a person: a strong presence and a lot of confidence! i respect him so much as a person alth i rag on him a lot LMAO. sorry if this is a bit long winded but i just rly wanted to put this out there ;;

this is rly cute i lov hearing ppl talk abt their faves lovingly it rly... Heals Me. i think it’s strange how underappreciated jooheon is in this fandom especially bc he’s usually the one who catches ur eye first bc he’s so hyped by starship as being a one-in-a-million talented rapper u know? and he rly shines in mvs and no.mercy but............. y does he have the least fansites jkfhdg ?? you’re v right abt the reversal charm thing but i feel like sometimes it’s very overdone like... on lots of shows he’s asked to do aegyo when rly he should be asked to... idk... rap or dance or something?? i actually think jooheon is the most serious member of monsta x sometimes bc he seems to have a sense that he’s.. the pillar of mx if that makes sense? and that’s why he’s always pushing himself and working tirelessly like he feels very Responsible for this group, more than anyone else. idk if that makes sense!!! i love him and i want him to... unwind a bit bc sometimes he looks so stressed and tired but he still feels the need to pretend to be energetic like my heart rly hurts for him :/ this got so emo im sry i do rly love to hear that u respect him sm i love jooheon stans :(

i can see what u mean about jooheon being 1 of the most masculine. (iirc u also talked abt kihyun being that in a post a while ago) like with his face and his physique he really is striking; his body=like that slim,upside-down Y that you'd learn to draw men w/ in Anatomy 101 , but i think.. ,--not that u asked, but,, i think the jury's still out on if he's comfortable w his masculinity with the way he acts feminine lyk misogynistic comedians Can sound like dead ringers for women,? idk & i take +

(not sure if there was a 2nd part to this? there’s nothing else in my inbox so i’m sry if there was and tumblr ate it) yeth i think i meant that his demeanor is the most ~~masculine~~ whereas i think kihyun is still the most... idk... mature-masculine?? if tht makes sense, and i definitely agree w u on that second point! i didn’t think of that at the time but now that i... do... think abt it... ur right and also the way he comes back from it by putting on the >swag demeanor again in an attempt to polarise it is definitely a bit 👀👀👀 he probably doesn’t want to risk his Manly Rapper Image for real u kno? that said it’s ingrained in kpop that behaving cute --> “girly” entails that sort of “comedic” high-pitched voice + compact body language etc.... like i’m not condoning that ofc but i definitely think it’s broader than this particular case! :/ hm

maybe i'd be doing better in school if i could major in kihyunology ;~; i stan him but i def think we still don't know much about him even after all this time after debut. especially when i look at him compared to wonho who wears his heart on his sleeve (bless him i love wonho sm, gotta protect this bun at all costs!!)...but ya it just makes me wanna learn more about him like who is the real kihyun??

i want to write a kihyun meta when i have time... i feel like i Get him a bit more these days but it’s also very hard to put into words bc u kno when u kinda sorta mb get some1 but it’s a feeling rather than anything conveniently expressable gkjdhfjk.... idk if anyone wants to send in some Kihyun Thoughts + Meta feel free! :>> i don’t think he’s actually... as complex as we sometimes make him out to be lol like his behaviour is actually kind of predictable? more on his later

wait is the february comeback actually true? ugh i'm so conflicted cuz on one hand i'm excited if there's really gonna be a full length album, but i also think they need more rest but then there's the matter of getting their first win and idk i'm super psyched but i'm also worried that the boys are being overworked

i still feel like they had a comeback like yesterday lol like looking at their schedules stresses me out bc they do so much..... im glad wonho got to go to his mum’s cafe recently tho! all we can do is have faith in them rn and when it’s time... stream, buy things if ur able to, spread the news and the hype etc. i am definitely Worried abt some things like the competition they’re up against but.... gotta have faith u kno... and i feel like all active idols are kind of... permanently worked very hard but i think currently only jooheon and shownu are a bit Overloaded. also has the date been confirmed yet... it’s february already...

[imwritesometimes]

'I'm not back on my bullshit. I'm not back on my bullshit. I'm not back on my bullshit. I'm not back on my bullshit.' I say to myself as I close ao3 at 3am, fully back on my bullshit and trying to resist plot ideas

[imwritesometimes]

Thanks for tagging me @maderilien 💜🥰💜

rules: tag a few people you want to know better; make a new post, don’t reblog!

favorite color: blue but like a peacock teal blue (one wall in my living room is painted this color!) and soft but rich lavender purple (one wall in my bedroom is painted this color!)

currently reading: sadly, I'm just plucking my way through the BlackBonnet tag on AO3 currently and even then I haven't been able to dive into any actual long fics. I get to the end of my day when my brain is finally smoothed out enough to read and I can't get through much before I just crash 😔

last song: You Make Loving Fun - Fleetwood Mac (HA bet no one saw that coming🙄)

last movie: the last one I watched watched would probably be Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. There was a marathon on TV and I just put it on and let my brain melt and watched all of them but had to call it a night half-way through Crystal Skull lol

last series: OFMD 🏴‍☠️

sweet, spicy, or savory: Sweet/Savory

coffee or tea: Coffee first thing in the morning, tea the rest of the day if I want a warm beverage...

three ships: BlackBonnet, DinCobb, Marchly

first ever ship: goddd... like first couple I ever saw and was like YEAH! was probably Indy/Marion in Raiders of the Lost Ark? First ship I ever read fanfiction for sadly I couldn't tell you if my life depended on it I simply cannot remember.

currently working on: BlackBonnet WIP it's a dumb sappy thing idk when is my stuff not 🤷‍♀️ lol

favorite piece of clothing: this one has me stumped cause I'll be honest I don't think about my clothes much. I want them to be comfy and dark and that's about it but uhhh... idk my black ripped jeans? I have a grey & tie-dye Smokey Bear t-shirt I'm pretty partial to though idk... my robes I adore but idk I don't really consider them clothes lol I don't wear them out...

comfort food: Pizza or Plain pasta with grated parmesan cheese & lil butter

favorite time of year: Fall. It's not over 100 fckn degrees and my allergies are dead like they deserve and World Series Baseball 😍

fav fanfiction: there are literally too many to mention I cannot be serious enough about this. I've dabbled in too many fandoms over the years for a Sane person and my bookmarks reflect that but uhm I'll try to pick 3 that I loved recently from the Ships I listed earlier lol -By Any Other Name (BlackBonnet) wanted to just curl up & live forever in this fic -pieced together (one at a time) (DinCobb) really, really enjoyed this one omg -Send Me A Postcard (Marchly) this fic lives rent free in my mind at all times...

zero pressure tags 💜@readbythestarlight @softasawhisper @novemberhush @snikt-snack @afrenchwriter @chronically-shepard @ricochetoconnell & anyone else who'd like to give it a go...