#I'm Gonna Try And Get Most Of What's Left Done Tomorrow Since On Tuesday I'm Gonna Get To Hang Out With My Best Friend In The Whole World

[xaykwolf]

My final for the class I have this semester is a paper wherein we’re supposed to act as though we’re a licensed psychologist called into an organization to consult on a problem and give recommendations. My prof suggested a former prac site because we’re likely to know quite a bit about the day-to-day operations and problems that grunt workers face. And well, after the last year I just had, there’s no way I’m touching that without a hazmat suit and years of therapy (haha irony), so this assignment’s really not the place to do any of that processing.

No...instead I chose RT. And I gotta say, it’s been pretty cathartic to type out the history of the company, to see how it developed in its entirety, the good, the bad, and the ugly (though it’s been mostly those last two, even with a nice bit of perspective on what I liked about the company). I get to talk about the ethical and diversity issues next, which is gonna be a treat and a half for my poor brain, and then how I’d go about evaluating the company, how I’d conceptualize everything put together, then give recommendations. I’m already 4 full pages into the 12-15 requirement, and it’s not due till December 1st :b

[omegasmileyface]

The Foleys' Incredible Crisis

Chapter 1: Call It Stormy Monday

Call It Stormy Monday (But Tuesday Is Just as Bad) was written and performed in 1947 by T-Bone Walker. It is one of the most popular Blues songs ever, and has been performed and reiterated by countless other musicians. It has been credited with inspiring B.B. King to take up electric guitar, and it is included in the Library of Congress.

Happy Invisobang!!! This should have been posted earlier in the week but I couldn't make myself get to the computer to finalize/format it. Hehe. This year I had the INCREDIBLE experience of working with Shadow and Sharks, who were such wonderful artists— they have a whole smörgåsbord of art to please your eyes in this story! They have kept me on my toes— as I write this, the final, collaborated illustration is still a secret to me 👀 Lola is an OC I named once I realized Tucker absolutely feels like he has a little sister. Since then she's been in my heart and I can't let her go. My wonderful girl Lola. It's a treat whenever I get to see her in the wild— I almost had a heart attack when she appeared in Lex Luthor's Ascent from Supervillainy to Fatherhood by halfagone!

For a directory of all currently posted chapters and related content, check out the Table of Contents!

fic summary: After a whole week of vacation stuck together, the Foleys were more than happy to have some time apart. So when they each found themselves caught up in ghost business, that meant handling it alone. Angela wasn't planning on improvising a ghost conspiracy, Maurice was hoping to avoid working IT, Lola didn't think playing a hero would take her out of school, and Tucker would really have liked to focus on his own problems. But, really, what else did they expect from Amity Park? Home, sweet home.

words: 2269

AO3 link

next chapter [pending]

Tucker dropped his bag with a thunk. He was far beyond caring to be delicate, despite the electronics inside— he just wanted to shed his shoes and jacket and maybe the memories of the trip along with them.

"Ohhhh-kay," said his mom, grimacing at the trash can. Nobody had thought to empty it before they left. "What a vacation!" She laughed emptily. "I'm going to bed. You can fend for yourselves for dinner."

Tucker's dad popped back out from behind the bathroom door. "Before you go," he called over the rush of the faucet, "can we all just agree? Real quick, get in the den and then we can all ignore each other."

Lola sighed loudly and gave up untying her shoe, just kicking it off. Tucker agreed. He couldn't wait to wash his hands after the long trip.

His dad dried off his hands and joined them in the den, looking each of his family members in the eyes one by one. "I propose we never talk about this trip unless we have to."

Everyone agreed with as much fervor as they could muster after the fraught day.

"Also," said Lola, "I think we should try not to talk to each other for a whole day."

"Works for me," said Tucker.

His mom yawned. "Much as I love you all, I'm good with a day pretending you don't exist. Tucker, can you walk with Lola to and from school tomorrow?"

He looked at his little sister. She shrugged.

"As long as she plays nice, yeah."

His dad clapped. "Cool. Alright. So, unless one of us needs something, we all mind our own business tomorrow? Okay. I'm gonna order a pizza, and... I'll sleep in the guest room tonight. Pleasure doin' business with you all."

Tucker closed his eyes and sighed, pleased at imagining taking a shower and sleeping in his own bed in a few hours.

They had just wanted to see family in Chicago. What a disaster.

The library was quiet when Angela Foley came in. That made sense, she worked weekday mornings, so they usually only saw adults and the rare preschooler. As much as she liked helping the spread of knowledge, it was nice not to have too much to do at the front desk. Maybe she could get a crossword puzzle or two done.

She had made it about halfway through the puzzle (Angela knew a lot of things, but wordplay was never her specialty. What on Earth was she supposed to get from "gift for a blue lady"?) before someone walked in, paused, and went straight for the front desk.

She put on her smile. "Hi! Can I help ya with anything?"

The man was tall, wearing a clean white button-up shirt and jeans. His brassy skin and black hair caught strangely in the fluorescent lights, turning almost orange at their edges. She was pretty sure he was a ghost in disguise, but she had helped ghosts before. Usually, if one was asking for help using a library, they weren't intent on doing anything violent.

Usually. She still reserved a little caution.

"Yes, I'm looking for information on a very distant place. Where might I find something like that?"

"Well, what place is it?"

"It's called An Aghaidh Mh��r."

Angela blinked at the unfamiliar sounds. "I'm not familiar. Is that... Gaelic?"

The man fiddled with his sleeves. "Scottish, I believe, yes."

"Alright." Angela stood up and moved toward the computer monitor at the desk by the door. "I'm going to check in our catalog for books on Scotland."

The man watched silently as she searched. Angela hummed. "It looks like, in house, the only books we have on Scotland are travel guides covering the whole of the UK or Europe. I don't expect they'd have many details on smaller places— well, I'm assuming An Aghaidh Mhòr is small, since I haven't heard of it. If you'd like, you can check anyway, or I can contact another library in the system, and they can send over some more specialized books, but that might take a few days."

The man said nothing, but his eyebrows furrowed in thought. Angela recognized the face of a person with a wide, potent array of bad options.

"Or, if you're more pressed for time, we do have a few computers and Internet access here. I can help you find some web sites that might have what you're looking for."

"And this wouldn't take any longer than looking through a book?"

Angela smiled and headed toward the public computers. "Faster, even, if you know what you're doing. I can help you if you've never done it before."

They began their search, and the man caught on quickly to what Angela was doing and how. She helped him for a while, long enough to find out that An Aghaidh Mhòr was a place in the woody North of Scotland, usually called Aviemore, and was something of a tourist destination. Beyond that, she left him to do his own research and went back to her crossword.

She just had a pesky few clues left when the man started muttering curses in another language and walked back over to her desk.

With panicked eyes, he said "I have to be honest. What I'm looking for is, ah… evidence that An Aghaidh Mhòr has an open community of ghosts alongside its humans. I'm certain that it once did, and I know that it still must. But I have chased every tail of information I could find that led to pages on the computer, and none of them, regardless of detail or experience with the town, has mentioned it."

He looked down and seemed to weigh something in his head. "It must be some sort of secret. Whether to protect the ghosts or to protect themselves from ridicule, the living people of An Aghaidh Mhòr have hidden their ghost society. You have to help me find it."

The little hairs on Angela's body all stood up. Warning bells were going off in her head. There was nothing to do but remain calm. "If that's the case, I don't know about anything like that. I can send out a question to my colleagues to see if they know anything, but I'm afraid I can't–"

"No!" The man swung out a hand, and the inner doors swung shut, silvery light weaving across them like fishing nets to keep them in place. The lights dimmed and his skin faded to a deep, fiery orange, layered and complex like agate. His eyes glowed like the moon. The few library guests gasped and looked at him in shock.

"You are a keeper of information, from a city with a striking connection to ghosts. I need to know the truth about ghostly An Aghaidh Mhòr, and you must help me find it." His silver eyes were full of fear, but Angela couldn't bring herself to care how the ghost who just trapped and threatened her was feeling.

She had to think fast to get out of this safely. Something to keep his hopes up…

"Fine. Fine." Angela held up her hands. "I'm not confident in my own grasp of the situation, but I do know of some secrets like the one you're talking about. It'll take some time– say, a couple hours– to put together anything meaningful, and I'll need to call in an expert, but I can do it. I will do it."

She could only hope her friends were any good at improv.

Maurice was never one for early mornings, but he always made the best of his hour alone after the kids went off to school and Angela's shift started. That was his time to make coffee and goof around. He could prance around the kitchen in ways that would make Tucker gag if he were there, and as long as he couldn't see his neighbors, he could put them out of mind enough to sing as loud as he wanted.

Before work was the blues hour. Today he put on Lucille. Whole album, on tape, from the top.

If anybody asked why he started his days with the blues, he'd probably say something about the sad lyrics reminding him how lucky he was. How no matter how embarrassing the family vacations or boring the work or sleazy the boss, he still had a clean house around him and a faithful wife beside him.

In reality, though, he mostly just liked the beat.

Once he got into work, it was just the same as ever. Double-entries and journalizing. He didn't even get to mix up which accounts he dealt with. VLADCO was too big for that. It was Accounts Receivable, 140-180, day after day.

But at least it wasn't IT.

Then, after almost an hour of swimming through "Axiom Labs, Ltd. $1,300 Debit" and "Hey, Maurice, how was the weekend?" and "Nugreen Ectosuppliers, LLC $400 Credit" and "You get that last letter? Crazy what Masters is trying these days, yeah?", everything went dark.

(Or, at least darker than usual. The grainy white of every surface in the office never lent itself to anything deeper than a cloudy grey.)

After a few seconds of quiet shock, the lights came back. Now, however, there was a ghost floating in front of the door connecting the Finances and Supplies department to the rest of the facility.

He seemed to be well-muscled and of average height, though it was hard to tell exactly what a ghost looked like when they were putting off that much of an aura. His skin was dark green and rough-looking, like bark, and there was a reddish halo around his head like some sort of spectral hair. His blood-moon eyes looked over everyone in the room individually before anyone dared speak. Finally, he opened his mouth.

"This is the center of a company that arms humans againsts ghosts and similar threats. Yes?"

Shocked, a few people nodded.

"And you are all from the department keeping stock of supplies. I do not know where your weapons are kept, but I know that you do. Someone in here will retrieve them for me. I need them, if I am to bring my people, ghosts and humans, together again."

The tension finally broke the membrane freezing time, and several office workers started to move for phones.

"Don't bother trying to get help. I have severed all the lines of communication between you and the world outside this office. I will leave you alone, as soon as someone leads me to the armory."

Maurice glanced at the little LCD display on the phone on his desk. No signal. His computer, too, had nothing when he clicked over to the Internet settings.

No one said anything. Some kept trying with their phones, but not a single person offered to explain how scant and useless the actual in-house ecto-equipment supply was or show the path to it. Maurice imagined they were all thinking the same thing he was; yes, complying was generally the way to stay safe in a hostage situation, and panic was strong, but a ghost coming into town and getting their hands on even just half-assembled ecto-equipment never went well. And, maybe even more importantly, VLADCO had terrifyingly strict regulations on safe ecto-tech policy. Unless the immediate threat of being personally hurt for information increased, the consequences in the long run were the biggest monster here.

The ghost crossed his arms. "Fine. You have one hour to bring me to the weapons. I can wait. I have waited this long. If you take any longer, or if you attempt any trickery, then I will start going through with threats. Until then, you may have your time to panic and fantasize about ways out that don't involve giving up company supply. I will be standing here."

He leaned against the door, and his gaze stayed rock-hard on the workers and their cubicles.

Maurice caught the eye of his most tolerable coworker Jacob. Jacob widened his eyes in some silent look of panicked questioning. Maurice shrugged. He was scared out of his mind, but what was there to do? Freaking out wouldn't do anybody any good. He could wait here and see if any ghost hunter showed up, and once they got closer to the end of the hour, everybody could meet up and decide if it was worth giving up the ecto-tech.

For now... well, he certainly wasn't going to do more accounting. This was as good an excuse for a break as any.

He toyed around on his computer for a bit, fidgeting with whatever programs he had. Maybe if the ghost noticed him, he could say he was looking for office schematics explaining where the ecto-tech was held. Really, he couldn't think to do anything but let off stress.

He played around in the rudimentary E-mail client for a bit. Mimed sending goofy messages to his coworkers while he knew he couldn't accidentally send them. But there, at the top of his inbox, was the automated morning office update. It had just come in four minutes ago... after the communications were shut off.

Was there some kind of hole in the ghost's anti-communication measure? The intercoms weren't working, and normal E-mails weren't going through, even within just Finances & Supplies. But the daily updates worked on a different system than the normal E-mails, so nobody had to send them at a consistent time each day, just queue them up.

...Was there something about the different setup that made it immune to the ghost's blackout?

Maurice got to investigating.

[valewright67]

Are you okay?

Hello.

I'm a little stressed?

It's kinda stupid, honestly.

I start school on Monday, right? And it's my first year in college, I'm doing deaf studies and interpreting for ASL. I thought it would be good to learn asl, since I struggle to hear anyways.

Also, my therapist thinks I have autism? We're not gonna try to get a diagnoses, because that could very well be upwards of 5k, and I don't have that to throw around, yknow? But he strongly suspects, and I don't know what to do about that.

I have classes Monday and Wednesday in person, plus homework. Tuesday is my allotted online day, PLUS the one day with a flexible schedule I'll have to run any errands I may need to do. Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, I'm WORKING, 8 to 4. After that is any other homework I need to get done, plus all my household chores, and maybe some smaller errands, like shopping.

On top of that, my partner just like. Doesn't respond? We had plans today and tomorrow we made a couple weeks ago and I was trying to confirm and it's been EIGHT HOURS, and no response. I try to be patient, but this is a regular thing. I get he stays up most of the night and sleeps the day away, but it's 8:15 pm and NOTHING. He finally responds at 8:30 saying his phone is on the fritz and he got around it by connecting his number to his laptop. Which I can understand but I was half ready for HOURS. He couldn't have checked in earlier??

I'm not gonna HAVE any time off, I'm not gonna HAVE a day. And that in off itself stresses me out! Between school and work and homework and errands and chores, I'm either going to have time for sleep or a personal time. I can alternate between those well enough, I'm 18, almost 19, and I've got enough stamina to give up on sleep a couple nights a week. I won't be especially energetic, but I'll be able to function.

And I've been trying so hard to just WRITE, because I'm RUNNING OUT OF TIME. I've got ideas, LOADS of ideas, I'm up to the BRIM with them! And I'm not gonna have any time to write, this is my last chance, but I just CANT?

And you've sent me asks, I've seen them, I've thought about them, ive got stories, and then they just rot in my inbox, because I can't even START them. And do you know how many blurbs and thoughts and COMPLETELY FORMED STORIES I just need to actually WRITE? Like the Tristan reblog, do you know how much I want to add to that, but I can't pump anything out? I've got this great idea for the "by the way your best friends your mother" reveal. And I've got a big bro zel au I'm so PROUD of, and I want to share it with @demonprincezeldris but I've only got one section written, which I submitted WEEKS AGO AND WAS RESPONDED TO ALREADY. It was supposed to be a three part, and I've got the whole plot there, spent ages muling it over and hammering out every detail.

Then there's what I've got on A03. Did you know there's someone who thought I stopped writing Vorago because I didn't like their idea? That's not it at all! I LOVED their idea! But I couldn't even respond to their COMMENT, because what do I say?? "No, I stopped writing after you gave me this idea because I'm paralyzed staring at Google docs." And it was months ago, anyways! And I've got a bunch of others there that people want more of!

And I just. Can't. Write. No matter how hard I try. What I actually manage to force out is jilted and cringy and awful, and I will absolutely not publish that. It's almost worse than my WATTPAD ERA!

Almost. Those were dark days.

Im just so frustrated, because I'm OUT OF TIME, and I. Did. NOTHING. I'm not gonna have any time to write, even if I can, I'm not gonna have any time for a social life - that I barely had anyways - im not gonna have time for myself, im barely gonna have time to SLEEP. I feel like wasted what I had left.

Is this what it feels like to be an adult? I don't like it. I wanna be a kid again.

[engagedtobefree]

I talked to Scott on the phone again last night, and now I'm worried. We talked for about 50 minutes and it was normal like our other phone conversations, except for a few things.

Scott told me I seemed kind of shy on Saturday, that I wasn't as talkative as I used to be. I can see what he meant; I had trouble making eye contact and I was really nervous. So I tell Scott I was just nervous and he said, "Oh, aight." I also wasn't flirty like I used to be, but only because I don't want to feed into any possible bad intentions. It's not how it was before when I felt more confidence about Scott's feelings toward me (though that certainly waxed and waned) and I was protected by being at work. Flirting now at my place could potentially lead somewhere.

Then I yawned, and I guess it sounded a little different cuz Scott asked me why I moaned. I tell him it was a yawn and then he said what sounded like, "idk, Dana." "What?" Then, to my surprise he responds with an, "Oh, Dana", making the "oh" sound moany. I instantly feel turned on. I almost respond with "are you the one moaning now?" but I stop myself and don't say anything back to him. I want to hear Scott's moans and sex noises, but I don't want to feed into this if all he is looking for is sex.

A few minutes later he mentions me in my "tight ass jeans and boots." I respond best I can, saying I do miss dressing up, and he says if he can make it over tomorrow (today, now) that maybe I could dress up for him. I tell him I can. Truthfully, most of my old jeans are too tight now since I gained weight and I haven't been able to lose anything yet. I have a pair I can probably wear though.

All of this makes me worried though. What if Scott really is just looking to have sex with me? What if that's all he wants? I can't tell because I notice things that could point to that or could point to him wanting something more. What if he doesn't only want sex and he just...can't help himself saying these things?

I'm terrified, not of Scott but of getting hurt. And if Scott were to hurt me in such a big way while I am pretty emotionally vulnerable and raw, idk how I'd handle it. I am still working on healing from past trauma with men and if another man were to hurt me right now, especially one I have my heart so invested in and am choosing to trust, idk what it would do to me.

I'm worried that I've waited all this time and hoped for a miracle just for Scott to come back only looking for one thing. This isn't what I waited for. I don't want to be called hot. Yeah, it's nice, but only sometimes; it just feels hollow hearing it over and over. I want Scott to also think I'm pretty. I want to date Scott. I've always wanted to date Scott. And while I want him in my bed, that's not how I want to start out. I know we already have an established relationship with each other, but I'd still like something more first.

Idk if I should bring it up to Scott if I see him tonight. Do I just come out and ask him what he wants and what his intentions are? I want to know, but at the same time I'm terrified of what the truth might be. What if he makes a move? That's going to be so hard for me because on one hand I'm going to really want it, and on the other hand it's not going to be how I want it. And if he makes a move, do I stop him and tell him I can't and tell him I don't want to get hurt, that I know we both are looking for different things? I can't just assume Scott only wants sex, but I need to protect myself. I'm also just at the tail end of my period, so I could always use that as an excuse, though he most likely won't care and I'd rather be honest than find an excuse.

I want to see Scott and I want him to come over, but now I'm also fearful of it. I will be away next weekend, so if I can't see him tonight I'm going to keep worrying about this for several more weeks. And that's just assuming I do get some sort of answer tonight. But how can I hide my nervousness? Normally, I can fake things fairly well when I want to, so unless someone really knows me and my energy, I could get away with faking being okay. I don't think that's gonna work with Scott though. He knows me and he can tell when something is off. It doesn't hurt to try, but I'm not confident at all that he won't be able to see right through it.

But then there's the other side of things.

I keep thinking about Scott saying, "Yeah, me too." when I said I want to consciously choose someone who I truly want to be with. Does Scott really want a relationship? How long has it been since he consciously made a decision to be with someone he wants? How long has it been since he followed his heart and went after what he wanted instead of what he thought was the right thing to do? Am I what he wants? When he stops to listen to his heart, does it tell him to make his way back to me? I have many questions about his response to me.

I also have doubts about my doubts. If Scott only wanted one thing then why would he talk on the phone with me every weekend and for long periods of time? Why compliment me in other ways and show his interest in what I have to say? Why open up to me about things when naturally he's very guarded? Why say that he missed me? Granted, that could all be a ploy to reel me in, but I don't think Scott is that deceptive, especially because he knows I'm into him so he wouldn't have to make all of these efforts. Also, why apologize for being a dick and hurting me, only to turn around and act that way and do it again? I mean, I have had men do that same thing to me on two different occasions, but I can't judge Scott by what other men have done. That wouldn't be fair. And Scott also asked me if I'm currently seeing someone or have a boyfriend. Why ask that if he just wants sex? Why should he care whether I cheat or not if I was with someone if he just wanted sex from me?

I also wonder why Scott was so surprised when he found out I haven't dated because of my feelings for him. Does he not think someone could have such strong feelings for him or that he's not worth waiting for? Does he really think I dated during the time we've known each other? Or maybe thought I did after he left?

I feel so lonely with all of these thoughts. I had my therapy session on Tuesday and I went over a few things, but since my conversation with Scott last night, more has come up. Who else can I go to? I wouldn't go to any close or casual friends with this, and if I told my best friends, I know they wouldn't be very happy that I even let Scott through my door. Even if I did ask for someone's advice, they can't tell me what the right thing to do would be. I am completely alone with this.

I hope this isn't a losing game. I want to be treated right, as it's been such a very, very long time since I have been, and even then, it didn't last forever. I don't think it's too much to ask for.

Also, the sun right now is inconjunt/quincunx my natal Saturn -__- like why did this have to happen right now, on the weekend?

Also, I follow YouTube and Instagram tarot accounts and they're always super accurate for me, but I figured I'll post one just this time on here since it's so related to this. I watched this video after I wrote all of the above stuff. I usually only choose one deck with the YouTube readings, but occasionally two decks will have equal energy, which occurred this time.

Group #2 - go with the flow and blend in to catch people in off-guard moments to see who they truly are. Observe them and listen more (as a Libra, I can very much get quiet and simply observe, which I have been doing with Scott). You are too tired to be in the spotlight and need time for privacy with your love life, not telling friends or family about it. You don't want to put yourself out there and invest in someone to realize this person was with you for the wrong reasons. You are not over-sharing at this time. You value yourself and don't want to get hurt, so you're guarding your heart. You're still open, but just getting to know someone. You know how far to go and when to protect yourself. You don't want to make the same mistakes like you did in the past. You want clarity and guidance. Someone may behave in a stupid manner and may try to play you, thinking they're smarter. However there is an opportunity with a dark male, whatever that means for you. This is more about energy than physical appearance, and could just be someone with a lot of masculine energy. You are highly desirable so this man wants to be closer to you. This person wants longevity with you, not a whirlwind affair. You need to let your wall down a little bit to let them know you're into them as they may question it and get insecure. Only do this when you're sure of who they are and their intentions. They are adventurous and spontaneous, and they may try to show off how cool they are. They may get clumsy and nervous though. You might have commitment-phobia and might want to run or self-sabotage. Avoid this. Someone will be offering genuine love and interest, so do not worry. Surround yourself with love and spend quality time with others in your life where you can let your guard down.

Group #3 - an earth sign (Scott is a Capricorn) is here as a romantic connection. It's only a matter of time before you connect and sparks fly and you know you're for one another (I'd like to stay sober now to really feel out his energy and the energy of our connection). They are very promising. Do not pre-judge this person and give them a fair chance. Don't jump to conclusions. Allow them the chance to prove they're trustworthy and worthy of being a part of your life in a romantic sense. Stick to making progress with other areas of your life. Someone you know is not dependable and sincere, so don't trust in confiding with someone else about this situation. They might be jealous (I can see this being my mom, as she gets very jealous whenever I am with other people). You may feel like something is lacking in your life, maybe caused by someone else. Someone may leave your life as this new person enters. You will be happy this person leaves. Be aware of any future problems, there will be signs from the universe. Zesty energy, emotion, and passion is coming. Your guides are trying to protect you from yourself. Don't let your anger take over or you'll be sorry. Try not to be triggered by others. You're being called to take yourself on a date and spend money on yourself. Remember to practice self-love. You can only feel fulfilled in your love life if you feel fulfilled in yourself first. Others may set their own expectations for your love life. Don't seek others approval. Remind yourself we are not separate from each other. We are all energy. Don't be judgmental just as you don't want to be judged. Your love life will be full of generosity and spending time together. Your dreams can become your reality, but you need to make the effort. (I feel like maybe I need to focus on my healing more often than I am). Put yourself out there. (ugh. Scary). Someone is feeling like it's time to let go of holding on too deeply and may not think you'll ever end up together. Could be someone you friend-zoned and they will finally give up on you and see you moving on. (I've friend-zoned quite a few people, so it's possible).

So yeah, I guess July has a lot of potential, and both readings were scary-accurate for how I'm currently feeling and perceiving things. So either Scott is out to deceive me or he has really good intentions. Guess I'll find out soon.

[onemanzerosquad]

New York Blackbeard Diary Recap Pt.2

Day 6...... I woke up and got ready for work. While waiting for the bus, some guy was sitting inthe middle of the street having cars pass him and finally a non-scumbag driver decided to stop and ask the guy what's his deal. Pretty much he was tripping off of acid and wanted to kill himself. Next thing, like double digit number of cops surrounding and walked him to the corner away from cars. Could of been a Watching Wanda but I got on the bus. Pretty much worked for 12 hours and was amazed that my body limitations didn't reach to the short maximum. It was my first full week of work and it was cool. But full offside problems which I wont get into so much cause the day is over. My Sunday will be full fixing the issue but it's all good because I hate doing nothing anyway.

Day 7........Woke up from a power sleep that was needed from a long work day. Started off the day helping out an ex only to find out she was dealing with something that I saw as a lack of respect of herself which led me to a disappointment on her for her actions considering the fact that she wanted me back but I decline the offer. After that situation, I put myself in thinking mode contemplating on love because at this point, I starting to lose a lot of interest in it. Maybe it's me or I just pick the wrong woman to love and be with. Moving on, I washed my clothes and took care of an issue dealing with my bank account which will be fully fixed by Tuesday. After, I spent the day just focusing on love and where it stands because I'm leading towards calling it quits. While in thinking mode, I got a message on Instagram of a business opportunity of investing which I'm gonna to decline due to lack of knowledge on investing and doing business over the phone and social media is too uncomfortable. In meantime, I'm gonna look over what was discuss in that chat. Tomorrow I start my new workout and finally look more into this book I recently purchase titled......The Filter Bubble.

Day 8.......Woke up and decline the business offer which was calm then instead of hitting the gym, I went back to sleep.Woke up back and forth with moments. Woke up ate lunch from the shelter and talk to a friend and updated my health. Surprisely, I didn't use the cane all day. Went back to sleep but this time it was power nap and ate dinner and seen mold on a bread like wtf Being in the shelter has given me realization of reality to the point that I fully understand why people sleep on the streets and dont want to go to the shelter. After I leave the shelter, there will definitely change of things. I'm ending this day reading Rich Dad Poor Dad and The Filter Bubble. Tomorrow is a new day.

Day 9......Woke up with a headache from a dream. In my dream was me in hospital pretty much dying seeing people that that currently had in my life. I was dying of cancer apparently. With that scene came with moments of my past. Then I woke up and started crying thinking to myself what the f**k. I wipe the tears from my eyes and took a shower and got ready. Pretty much left me paranoid everytime someone sat next to me smoking a cigarette. Went to library and used the computer to contact my neurologist to fill this form from in regards to my restrictions of my body. Looking over the form later that day, I realize this form will come from honesty and being realistic with myself since I have to finally accept the fact that my body has limitations. This led to me thinking about 2013 til now and......I been through a lot of shit and pretty much everything is gone. So what now. First this horrible dream and this realization that I did everything to make things right. I might as well let it all out. I'm sharing my life from then to now and not holding anything back. I may lose respect and friends but I feel it's time to let it out and finally leave the past the past and accept the outcome......There's no point of hiding my thoughts anymore. Everything is basically gone.

Day 10........Woke up. Night before was kinda unfortunate watching a guy taken by the ambulance. My only assumption would be a drug related incident. I skipped gym today to work on this restriction form. First was first, a mail pick up. Had to fill out forms and make calls. My restrictions form was pretty much done. It was answered with honesty and from a realistic mindset. It goes back to what ex told me like a week ago....... My body has more limitations than anyone else and that I need to know when to slow down. It was unfortunately the true. I just needed to accept it and I did.

As I expressed on the last post, I will share my life from then to now. I would share from birth to now but 2011 started this Fall to Rise to Fall so here we go........

Summer 2011 was an end of something that I took very hard. My 2 year relationship with my first love finally end. I'll admit this publicly, as much as both sides had fault to it, I fucked that up mostly. I was insecure, lazy, had no ambition, anger problems and just verbally abusive. I provoked her at times. She try to make it up to me all the but I didnt give her the time of the day. I would apologize all the time and promise not to bullshit her then went back on my bullshit. The affections faded away and the assurance of being the protector wasn't wanted any longer. She finally had the courage to be strong and leave. I'm sure it wasn't easy. As I look back at it, she did the right thing. I'm sure she's happy now and at this point that's all I want for her. Anyway, the summer was kind of depressing and after the bullshit of being in the pystactric emergency room, to the shelter, back to the pystactric emergency room, then to a friends home, to The Bronx, I decided to finally go back home stay. Instead of not eating and doing nothing, I started working out and doing backyard wrestling a lot more than I should. Most of the year I was in the BWA (beach) but after the breakup, I went back to the stomping grounds DIW (and IKW) which was a place comfort to be honest. No disrespect but I couldn't trust most of guys at BWA (beach) since the break up. Well only the white boys I trusted lol. Felt like I was being hurt physically by some intentionally. I remember getting a call from my boy that left New York and apparently alot was being said about me but no one never confronted me about it which was some bitch shit to me cause there's three sides to a story and no one nevered talked to me about what was being said about me that year. So being at BWA (beach), it was uncomfortable cause now I know that something was said about me to some and those who read this know who you are. I didnt even trust my tag partner especially that one day when he just randomly basically admit that he had a thing for my ex. Like when he said that, the thought in my head was that if I had a gun, I would shoot him with hopes that he would die like. Is this nigga serious? Like she just left me and you got the nerve to say that shit. Fucking fat piece of shit get no pussy motherfucka.....Felt to be on some murder shit when he said that lol. Still wrestled in BWA (beach) but felt more comfortable in DIW. I knew my guys over there had my back no matter what and it was a family thing and they knew me more. As months went by, backyard wrestling became like a career/lifestyle. I would wrestle in BWA (bronx) during the week, DIW and IKW on Saturdays, then BWA (beach) on Sundays. The only thing that kept me going to BWA (beach) was my storyline with the Axis Of Choas. That match with Pitch Black was top favorite match. It brought me back to the real backyard wrestling days (IBW) During that year, I got involve in social media a lot trying to find love. Still insecure and in denial, I got into long distance relationships but one became something special to me and it started on New Years Eves.

Love is Love

Jikai.......One Last Time. The Past From The Last View 2012 The Love Gamble But 2......

Mad King Recharging Arc

[riverdale-jugheadjiii]

I'm sick ( Reader X Jughead )

Reader X Jughead

Request: yes

Warning: topic about a disease

A/N: TO ANYONE SUFFERING WITH ANYTHING! You will be strong okay, YOU WILL FIGHT AND ILL BE HERE IF YOU NEED ANYTHING! I’m sorry if anyone suffering with The disease that’s in the story and I didn’t describe it as it is. Because no one will know how to describe such a terrible thing unless it’s the person going through it. Once again to anyone going through any problems , illness or disease. I’m here for you at any time ♥️♥️ Once again I’m sorry for any mistakes.♥️ —-

Sunday was yet another normal day, everything was going great.. Well that’s till I started noticing a small circular rash around the area of my left rib. I didn’t think much about it, just thought it was an allergic reaction or something, I added a rash cream and went on with my day to see My best friend Jughead at Pop’s.

When I had arrived at pop’s and sat down with Jughead everything was pretty much normal. When I say normal, I mean it’s quite. Jughead and I sit at our spot and order our milkshakes and drink them away

“( Y/N/N), what do you say we go enjoy the river and swim?”

I of course agree because it’s summer and basically we’re the only ones left from our group that didn’t take a road trip with our families. Right after our milkshakes Jughead and I agreed to meet at the river in about an hour, that way we get the stuff we need and I make some sandwiches for lunch. When I arrived home, I removed my clothing and was just about to grab my two-piece swimsuit but remembered the red spot that was visible. Changing my mind I wore my one piece bathing suit and dressed in a shirt and shorts , and quickly headed down to make the sandwiches.

Once I was done with everything I grabbed my bag with food, extra outfits, towels and sunscreen and i ran out the door like I was sonic the hedgehog. When I arrived to the river I noticed Jughead just arriving too, thank God. “Juggie, why on earth don’t you have a bag with your extra outfit and why do you still have your beanie crown still on, you’re going to get it wet!”

“(Y/N/N) please I know you well enough knowing you’ll bring me a towel and extra outfits that I leave in your room, besides this crown reminds me that I’m king.” Jughead smiles at me knowing that I didn’t exactly just that.

“ you know Juggie what if I didn’t bring anything, what would you do?”

“(Y/N) I know you, you’re just so caring. Any guy would be lucky to have you… and when I say any I mean ANY, including me.”

After those words i could feel my cheeks turning pink because God knows how much I have a crush on Jughead. Anyway I ignore his comment and walk to the side of the river and lay down the towel and basket, remove my outfit and get inside warm water of the river.

“JUGHEAD JONES HURRY UP AND GET IN THE WATER!” I shout from the top of my lungs because jughead looked like he was dreaming for a second. After my call jughead walks into the water and slowly swims towards where I am, during that Process He slowly starts to lower himself into the water until only his nose and eyes are the only things showing. I start to swim away because I don’t even know what he’s about to do, but before I can completely get away Jughead pulls my hand toward him and I’m now stuck with both of his arms around me.

“Juggie, don’t you dare push me down!” I wrap my arms around his neck and my legs around his hips because if he plans on taking me down, he’s going down with me.

What I didn’t think or expect was that Jughead would end up gripping my waist and pulls me closer towards him till our chests are basically touching.

“ I actually like this position, for once you’re actually relying on me.”

“Juggie, I’m only holding on to you because if I die you’re dying with me… I’m not gonna let you be the Cheryl Blossom here while I’m Jason .” I joke with him

“ Look at you using sardonic humor on me.”

“ What can I say, I’ve learned from the best… Yup I knew I was a great teacher for myself.” I laugh at my own joke but notice Jughead is just looking at me. Before I can speak and ask what’s wrong, Jughead’s lips crash onto mine and I automatically kiss him back because once again I HAVE A FUCKING CRUSH ON HIM!

We kiss for a couple of seconds more until we both pull away with the sound of a ‘Pop’. Due to Jughead and I being one of the most awkward people on earth, we shy away and swim back to shore and act as if nothing just happened. By the time it’s time to leave we both have changed and picked up our things, Jughead offers to walk me home because in his words “ no one has found the killer yet so it’s safer if I walk you home.”

Once we reached my house, still I feel all fuzzy but don’t mention anything. Jughead on the other hand thought differently.

“(Y/N), I was wondering… umm I’ve been meaning to ask you out but wasn’t sure if you liked me, but after that kiss which you kissed me back. I was umm wondering if I could, i don’t know take you out on a date? I mean if you don’t want too it’s okay, but I would like it if you would.” Jughead jumbles his words as he asks me out.

“Jughead I would love to go out with you, how about Tuesday?”

He quickly nods without any hesitation. I smile and kiss his cheek and wish him a safe walk back home. I close my door and hear a small “Yes” from the other side. With a smile on my face I walk to my bathroom, shower and get ready for bed.

It’s currently Monday but I’m not feeling well, actually I’m feeling terrible. I noticed the small spot by my rib area has doubled in size and my muscles are aching me. I tell myself it was probably from the swimming yesterday and that this red spot is just an allergic reaction to something. I go on with my day and talk to Jughead on the phone for hours and don’t mention anything to him regarding my pain… it’s 7 p.m. and it’s time for me to eat with my family.

“ Mom, my joints are hurting me and I have this weird red spot by my rib area.” I inform my mom after dinner. She tells me to show her the spot and when she saw it she said it was probably an allergy or a mosquito bite. After my mother’s clarification I walk to bed and once again think that another day passed and all I can hope for is that tomorrow the pain leaves and I’ll be able to enjoy my date with Jughead.

It’s officially Tuesday the day which I’ll have my date with Jughead. My joints still hurt me and my spot is still the same size, which I think is good considering it didn’t get bigger. It’s only 3 in the afternoon but I know I have a lot of getting ready. When I’m done with everything for my date I notice that it’s 6 and that Jughead will be arriving to walk us to the one and only Pop’s. Just as I thought of that the doorbell rings indicating he’s here. I skip to get my purse but I end up feeling a great ache on my knee joint, I hiss a bit but walk it off and walk down to greet Jughead.

When i reach down the stairs and open the door, I notice Jughead standing there with his usual S shirt but layered with a blazer and his little crown. “You look beautiful (Y/N).”

I blush and close the door behind me. “ you don’t look so bad yourself Jones the third.”

After the date, Jughead asked me to be his Girlfriend and obviously I had to have fun with this moment

“ I don’t know Juggie, I’ve always wanted a crown and I’ve always like your crown.”

“Well you can’t have mine, this is my beanie crown , only the king wears this one. The queen must wear something else. ”

“Well then Jughead, this just won’t workout I should have let you drown in the river.”

Jughead quickly removes his beanie and puts it on my head. I laugh and nod my head agreeing to be his girlfriend. To say that was my best night in my life is an understandable.

— Two days have past since I’ve agreed to be Jughead’s girlfriend.. two days have passed since I was admitted into the hospital. After Jughead dropped me off home, my body and head were in so much pain that I had completely fainted. My parents walked in finding me passed out on the floor which is when I was sent to the hospital. The red spot has spread around my body and my joints are practically as hard as a rock. After countless of tests and checkups The doctor has diagnosed me with Lyme Disease,the doctor told me that living life would be a bit difficult from now on. He said I would have the good days when everything is fine and the bad days when I would be in this room with medication.

After the fourth day of me being in the hospital and countless of lies to Jughead I guess he had to take matters into his own hands and look for me.

“(Y/N) why didn’t you tell me?”

I stay quite and play with my hands. “(Y/N) (Y/L/N) I said why didn’t you tell me? Why did you lie to me? How long has this been going on?” He raises his voice and walks closer to me.

“ Because Jughead, what do you want me to tell you? ‘ oh hey Jughead I’m sick and I’m in pain,anyway; how’s your day?’ I didn’t want to worry you okay! It started the day we went to the river, I didn’t think it was anything but the day after I started to feel pain. After our date I just fainted and I’ve been here ever since..” I try to keep my eyes away from him.

“(Y/N) you were exactly supposed to tell me you’re here! I’m your best friend and boyfriend! I should be helping you, just like the way you helped me during my bad times when I had no one, back to the times I would hate myself because I never fit in and back to the times I felt unloved by my own family! Now it’s my turn to be there for you.” He walks over to my resting bed and grabs my hands.

“ Jughead you don’t understand! this isn’t like any of your situations, this will go on for God knows how long! There will be times when I’ll be perfectly fine and the next when I’ll be in the room attached to all these needles unable to move a bone in my body! I’m sick, and I’m not going to get any better any time soon.”

“(Y/N/N) and that’s why I’m going to be there the whole way! The whole way till you recover, the whole way till you smile and the whole way till I know that you won’t need me anymore