#I'm NOT immune to this V line tbh

[sharpdim]

Dusk true form sketch

[verysium]

attractive things bllk characters (unintentionally) do?👀

i received this ask and decided to write this entire thing through a caffeine-powered fever dream. may have gone a little overboard. please pray for both your sanity and mine. thank you anon for your strong sense of imagination (or delusion, whichever you prefer.)

nagi lifts the hem of his shirt to wipe the sweat off his face, and you accidentally (or not so accidentally) get a good look at the droplets running down his abs and v-line. he also does the doorway lean while waiting for you to get ready. since he's so tall, he puts his one arm up on the top of the door frame while scrolling through his phone. when he feels drained of energy, he clings to you like a koala, face buried into the crook of your neck.

rin pushes his hair back when his bangs get in the way, and it shows off his ridiculously sharp side profile. sometimes you have to pause mid-conversation because the direct eye contact gets too intense. he has the brightest turquoise eyes in existence, and they stare right into your soul. pair that with the height difference and him towering over you. hang onto your ovaries because this man is about to snatch them. if isagi or sae are anywhere remotely close within your vicinity, he will personally drag your chair closer over to him. you know, the whole nick jonas chair pull thing? he also unintentionally clenches his jaw when pissed, the vein popping out and everything.

barou is polite to his elders. he holds the door open for others. he tips extra at restaurants. he is kind to service workers. he's just a gentleman overall even though he likes to act tough. he rolls up his sleeves while cleaning or cutting up vegetables, and you can see the veins bulging in his forearms. wears those form-fitting aprons where you can see the outline of his waist and the muscles in his back. he is not immune to raging pit bull moments, but he will calm down immediately when you ask him to.

kaiser requires physical touch to function. all concept of personal boundaries goes poof in his little ego-driven brain. he holds your chin so you look up at him while he's talking. also has that husky growl when he wakes up in the morning. he speaks german. what else is more attractive than that? if you stroke his ego, he will puff his chest out like an emperor penguin and flash that movie star smile. does not slow down his pace for you, and will laugh at your expense when you trip in heels and fall. but then he feels guilty about it and begrudgingly picks you up and carries you home. however, before that he will make you swear on everything holy to never tell isagi about his moment of weakness. (tbh kaiser is a menace and has some serious self-esteem issues. pls avoid dating a man like him in real life until he is fully mature. i still love him tho.)

reo mansplains but not in the condescending way. he does so in the "omg i'm so excited to finally get to share something with you and you're never going to believe it" sort of way. rambles on and on about his interests and gets that little glint in his eye when he's passionate about something. also not sure if this counts but he gets extremely depressed when you don't message him back within five minutes. what do you mean you were busy? he was out here dying from a literal famine. he needs your affection to survive. last but not least, he is good at styling. he knows what colors work best for you, and he will put together three new looks for you in record time.

hiori dreams that you left him for good and wakes up crying with his arms around you. will refuse to let you leave the bed even if it is just to get a glass of water. his rare moments of emotional vulnerability are what gets to you.

shidou does not condone any of your bad decisions. you want to get shit-faced and party until early morning? no complaints from him. you want to wear sexy outfits to the club? say less because he's about to enjoy the view and knock out the front teeth of every guy who dares to ogle you. i don't know if this qualifies as being attractive, but he would never be the controlling type. you can dress and act however you want. unfortunately for you though, this is also a textbook case of the blind leading the blind. if you get horrendously hungover, so does he. if you get pulled over, he's going to be too blackout drunk to even comprehend the officer's words. you can count on him for a good time, but not anything else. do not take any of his advice at face value.

oliver likes to show you off even if he doesn't notice it himself. any talk with his team, and he will find a way to make the entire conversation about you. at this point, the entire u-20 team is done with him. they placed bets that you two wouldn't last more than a month due to his philandering reputation, but the universe seems to think otherwise because you and oliver hit the six-month mark and are still going strong.

ness guards your drink with an unnecessary amount of protection. while you left to go use the restroom, he was looking left and right, and the hairs on the back of his neck were prickling every time someone even came close to your cup. he also shoos away any person who opens their mouth while standing next to your drink because apparently the condensation from their breath could be dangerous. definitely covers your cup with both hands even if it has a lid. no suspicious shit is happening on his watch.

yukimiya is well-read, and he wears glasses. he has a copy of every single classic out there in existence and will fangirl along with you over your virginia woolf collection. he was written by a woman with two cats and a wine glass. not much else to say.

loki absolutely clears the entire carnival/arcade game. you want that giant teddy bear that costs over three hundred ticket points? say less because he's about to win the whole damn pot. of all characters, i would say he's one of the only green flags. like celery green.

isagi always looks for you when he enters the room. intentionally or not, he always seeks your presence. if someone says a funny joke, he turns to you to see if you're laughing or not. also does that somewhat creepy stare thing where he just looks at you quietly while you do mundane tasks. internally he is screaming cus what do you mean you actually like him?

chigiri gives you that thankful little smile whenever you stand up for him. i feel like people don't understand how goofy he can get as he's canonically good at doing impressions/impersonations. also has the prettiest laugh. if he ever cuts his hair, i think i'm going to get a nosebleed.

noa unconsciously says yes to every question you ask of him. he'd be giving bastard münchen a hard time (and denying isagi's requests) but then immediately once you come over, he's automatically acquiescing to everything you say. the rest of the team is low-key shocked you can win him over so easily. when they confront him about it, he just shrugs and goes "y/n is always right."

kurona's entire existence is attractive. he's just perfect. nothing is ever wrong with him. will let you check out his shark teeth and lightly pokes your finger to leave an imprint. hopefully you'll always remember him that way. he's also quiet so he will listen to everything you say and give ample weight to your words.

sae is my baby girl so he gets a whole section dedicated to himself:

absentmindedly plays with your hair. when you're sleeping in his lap, he'll gently run his fingers along your scalp. sometimes in the morning when you're sitting up on the edge of your bed to do your makeup, he'll come up from behind you and brush back your hair. might also press a kiss to the back of your neck.

helps you put on your face mask. when he's shopping, he will buy you lotion along with his own skincare products. says that it was just a convenient store run but you know he personally made sure to get you the best quality ones.

this is canon because i said so: when he gets out of the shower, he slings the towel over his neck or his shoulder. he also involuntarily flexes his biceps when he bends down to grab something. has the world's most defined deltoids.

when you're stuck in large crowds at the airport, he puts his hand in your back pocket to keep you two from getting separated. if the TSA pat-down is anywhere too personal for his liking, he will openly glare at the officer once you've passed the security checkpoint.

bonus point: when you two brush your teeth early in the morning, he has that little bed head where his shorn-off bangs stick up in cute little tufts here and there. will have a dead look on his face, but his eyes soften when he catches your gaze through the mirror.

[sapphirescales]

LILY!!! do you have skincare tips? i've got oily skin and i'm looking for things i can do when my Depression makes it hard to maintain a routine :(

UMMMM well idk like,,, my skin isnt all that great either esp when The Stress hits but i’ll jot down some stuff tht i can think of, but i’ll preface it w my skin is combination skin -- i’ve got a rly oily t-zone and then the rest of my face (esp my cheeks) are a little dry so i guess my skin tends to be more oily than anything, and my skin is SUPER SENSITIVE, but anyway

for facewashes and face creams: use gel stuff instead of foam or cream stuff! i switched my foam cleanser for a gel cleanser, and my moisturiser cream for a moisturiser gel and it helped so much. gel stuff tends to be a lil bit more expensive but it’s worth it imho. also try and get stuff which are parabens-free, bc stuff w parabens in it usually makes my acne go Mad. some stuff i’ve used/stuff i know about: sugar’s cucumber face wash gel, clinelle’s hydracalm facewash gel & hydracalm moisturiser, st ives’ green tea cleanser, origins’ make a difference plus+ rejuvenating cream (a gel moisturiser & a lil high-end aka super pricet), the face shop’s jeju aloe gel (there’s a huge tub sold here for like rm22 something something and honestly aloe gel is so cooling and soothing). i’ve also heard some really great stuff about origins’ oil cleanser (and oil cleansers in general) but i haven’t used it personally.

get urself a good toner! again, try and stay away from parabens-containing products but investing in a good toner will help your products sink in better and also help with regards to oil control. i’m using origins’ mega-bright skin illuminating treatment lotion, from their dr andrew weil line, and idk of many toners that are parabens free, so if you know any feel free 2 add to the comments i guess

your diet tends to reflect on your face. i dont eat v healthy tbh but i find that if i take a lot of dairy products, my acne tends to get worse. try and see if there are similar food products for you -- i know my cousins have issues with lots of processed food. not to say Cut It Out Entirely but reducing/cutting back can really help. my skin is also v v oily if i don’t drink enough water and get in enough greens, so i try to do that as often as i can. keep some water next to where you’re working or using your laptop, use a cool mason jar or water bottle or sippy cup or WHATEVER tbh as long as it makes you actually drink water and keep yourself hydrated

use a nice scrub or an alternative to a scrub: i use st ives’ green tea scrub (which is also parabens free and v affordable imo) and i also bought a tiny lil silicone sponge from watson’s which is like rm22 or something? and i use that with my gel cleanser. but the goal is to really gently exfoliate your skin without irritating it or drying it out. bc the sponge is made of silicone, it lasts FOREVER as well and you’ll see a difference in the texture of your skin in no time. making sure less dead cells are on your skin also helps w my oil production idk why??? but it Does so sdlfkj

face care with make-up is so, so important. use a primer or a pore filler before you put on make-up -- not only will it help your make-up stay on for longer but it also stops make-up getting INTO your pores and making your skin situation worse. afterwards, i usually wipe off my make-up with a (i know u guys are sick of this by now) parabens-free or a really gentle make-up wipe (like one from simple), and then i go back in with micellar water or baby oil in order to really clear out my pores. i use a quick scrub, tone and moisturise. wearing make-up often makes my skin oilier sometimes bc my make-up (which is mattifying bc oily t-zone) dries my skin out and then makes it overproduce oil again later, so if i don’t gotta use make-up, i try not to / minimise how much make-up i use (e.g. just using it for under-eye concealing or concealing acne scars/major acne)

on that note, if you don’t gotta use a cleanser, don’t? like i know most ppl are gonna scream but honestly if you were just at home all day and didn’t go anywhere or do anything to your skin, just splash on some micellar water to clear off the products off your skin from the day before/last night and you’re going to be fine??? super easy, zero fuss.

also, if youre wearing make-up, and youve got oily skin/oily areas, youre gonna have to be a lil aware sometimes and like. dab at your face w a sponge or a tissue v gently to wipe off the oil. setting your face with a powder really helps, and you don’t ACTUALLY need to put the same amount of make-up and foundation over your whole face. so, for e.g., my nose doesn’t need as much coverage and its Super Oily, so i don’t apply as much product there compared to like my forehead or my cheeks (where my acne scarring is most prominent), which really helps. if you have a good foundation and powder that closely matches your skintone and your undertone, you can probably get away w this a lot easier. 

CHANGE YOUR MAKE-UP BRUSHES AND SPONGES OFTEN! like please. PLEASE. i know we all Love to build up and are Lazy As Hell but then maybe invest in some disposable sponges or something bc for the sake of hygiene. please.

USE SUNSCREEN. idc if youre lightskinned or darkskinned, USE SUNSCREEN. even if youre medium-dark skinned, youre not gonna be immune to skin cancer. harsh sunlight also makes your skintone uneven and usually makes my skin overproduce oil. i really like biore’s sunscream stuff bc it’s very light, there’s a non-scented option and it also doubles as a make-up base (they have a few so you gotta have a look through). 

FACE MASKS! i also struggle w The Depression and its really tough for me to maintain an immaculate skincare routine, so rather than investing in like 16 tubs of facemasks i have 1 tube of clay mask (mine is from origins bc i bought this a Long While Ago while i still had money, but any clay mask is good!) and then i bought a WHOLE BUNCH of sheet face masks from the face shop because ... you guessed it ... they’re parabens free! and super cheap! using a hot compress before the mask helps bc your pores open up! i usually make myself a nice mug of tea and switch my a/c on and then slap that facemask on and do some replies. but try and do a facemask at least once every two weeks. i use mine once a week to once every two weeks, depending on how bad my depression is. target the facemask you choose to the particular problems your skin has; mine are usually hydrating facemasks (bc hydration!!! and really hydrating your skin goes a LONG WAY wrt to oil control) but i also have a few firming and brightening ones bc my skin can feel a little dull sometimes. ALSO, clay masks get a Lot Of Shit so i’m gonna just tell you quickly -- YES, they do make your skin break out the first few times you use it, but over time, it will REALLY HELP trust me! your pores? minimised. your skin? clear and glowing. your oil? controlled. if your skin is super sensitive and does not react well to store-bought masks, feel free to make some of your own natural ones! i really love making a maduka honey mask -- if you add sugar to it, it becomes a mask that also doubles as a scrub. a natural yoghurt mask is also a BLESSING and adding some oats to it also makes it double as a scrub. you could use natural aloe or use tomatoes and throw some sugar in them. PLEASE DON’T USE COCONUT OIL AS A MASK IT WILL CLOG YOUR PORES!!! don’t use masks that hurt bc you peel them etc because i always find tht it makes my skin immediately produce way more oil than it needs to compensate or smth lmao so NO to charcoal masks and stuff like that.

try and use something different for day and night. super tough esp if youre (like me) super lazy to do shit but during the day, i usually use an aloe vera gel moisturiser and, at night, i use bio oil to hydrate, minimise pores and also help with acne scarring, and tea tree oil gel to target acne-prone areas on my face and help combat acne before it starts up. find something that works for you!!!

a lot of skincare is trial and error, trying to find what works for YOU personally might not be something that works for others; i rarely get cystic acne, for example, so my skincare routine doesn’t really target that and so some parts might not work as well for people who do have cystic acne (esp since i often hear that clay masks really fuck up ppl who have cystic acne which makes sense bc in the beginning clay masks make acne worse before it gets better). try some stuff out and see what works for you after a month or so of a trial period.

skincare takes time! i don’t mean in the obvious way like you need to take time out of your day to do stuff, but i mean, it takes TIME for the results to show. you’ll have to do stuff now bc it’ll pay off later. it’ll be rough when you’re trying new stuff in the beginning but it might work out for you over a longer period of time. don’t switch products and stuff TOO OFTEN bc it’ll screw up your skin more.

it’s okay if you miss things or don’t do your routine every single day or just Can’t. it’s okay. it’s just skin care, and skipping a day or two won’t really make A Huge Difference. you can continue tomorrow. 

i hope some of this helps? idk this is just what’s worked for me over the years but yeah. feel free 2 add comments as necessary. :*

[survivorazores]

Ep. 6 - “I'm saltier than my kitchen floor after that endurance challenge“ - Francie

After 5 wild rounds of strategy, the cracked Espirito tribe and comparably calmer Salao tribe were mixed together in a tribe swap.

The target on me is bigger than ever so I'm gonna have to pray and pray for a good twist right now. I cannot believe that worked out, Ruthie played that off SO well like damn she is a good actress they all genuinely believed she was going home!! I can't believe it holy shit. I am L I V I N G

Literally the second Ricky came back on I was like, "welp will can vote raf and get away with it." And then he did!! I just want one tribal to go well. I have to repair my situation with Mo now so thats fun. Hopefully he'll buy my pitch that I was just doing it to protect Will, which could make him see that Will was a threat after all.. But idk a twist sounds good.

WILL AND I DID THAT!  oh my gosh he is my PERSON I want to go to FTC with him, he's playing so good and he is like the ONE person in this game I feel like I can be completely open and honest with about stuff and I just really hope that he and I make it far and that we stay on the same tribe IF there is a swap!  I really do think that I'm in a good place still, I know I need to watch out for Amanda and Bryce because they were blindsided but honestly they should be more mad at Will than at me right now so it's all good. ;)

A tribe swap happens

https://survivorazores.tumblr.com/post/163701256193/announcement

https://survivorazores.tumblr.com/post/163702189018/tribal-immunity-6

WHAT IS HAPPENING

Looks like we actually correctly guessed a tribe swap this time hey! And look at that it worked out in my favor,  Amanda wants to stick with me even though I just lied to her face, Emily has been someone I've wanted to work with since day 1 of one world, and Abbey is just... an icon, a legend. I have a really good feeling about this tbh.

I wish I was on a tribe with amanda and emily... But welp. At least I have the people I have never voted with on my tribe :)!! We do have 4 people tho so I hope our old tribe sticks together because It would be real bad for the OG espresso to have an even bigger number defecit. I need to bond with Mo/Ruthie/Ricky and hope we are tight and hopefully pull in one more number. Rip Raf :(

This is coming from the person that has the red sign by their name at all times but EXXXXXXCUSE me, Michael's little dot was green and it turned to yellow right when i messaged him.  RUDE.  Michael if you're reading this I hope we got close but that was RUDE!!!!  :P

Raffy got voted out and I'm really sad about it. I felt isolated and alone because of the clear split and I knew that it would be me next because I was the next biggest target to them. Surprise! I get swapped with Emily!!! I'm sad that Bryce isn't with us, though. I'm happy that our tribals won't be influenced by the other tribe anymore, though. I'm also happy because most of the people from Salao are on our tribe, which will mean probably less messy tribals. This can also mean we will hopefully win more immunities! I don't want to have to use my idol any time soon.

yeah, this is what I was dreading. this has thrown a wrench in our old alliances and is forcing us to make new ones, obviously. I'm worried about existing bonds that were formed pre-swap and even pre-One World. former Salão members are at a numbers disadvantage within the new Espirito tribe so now we're trying to figure out how to play this new hand of cards. I have an existing connection with Bryce from that one partner challenge and I hope I can strengthen this bond and gain him as an ally

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGL4JxVAvh8

Amanda L is messy I'm so happy that we won and our tribe didn't go to tribal now everyone still trusts me, I didn't like her plan of voting off Nayeli because I love michale and I don't want him to get mad at me but she kept on badgering me and I had to agree, it's kinda annoying tho to be honest, Amanda is a nice person but she's overplaying too much you know? Also I love Emily so much we have such fun calls

i'm going back to bed for a little while longer, I just wanted to say that I miss Will, I'm worried that he and Amanda are going to get picked off, Gwen is on that tribe and Gwen is the crazy that went right instead of left and I just don't want Will to go home.  It SUCKS not being able to talk to my ride or die right now. I think I'm in a really good spot right now though, I'm hoping that my old tribe stays strong and also Amanda suggested that me, her, ashley and francie who is super cool make an all girls alliance and I'm just so there for that, that's going to be AWESOME! I'm going to 100% tell Ricky everything and keep him safe, I feel like I should look out for Mo too but I don't want to be that person that tries to keep her entire old tribe safe in the all girls alliance

I just want to say taht im so proud of my baby (my video) IT WAS SOOOO CUTE AND FUNNNY!!!! i literally made that video hilarious omg aiongosaingoisdngoisd anyways im so thankful for michael for adding shit on and nayeli editing that AMAZINGLY!!!! but also now im trying to get good with emily and some other tribemate maybe amanda g?????? idk i need more allies!

i came up with the idea to have a lesbian alliance and I'm making emily get amanda to come get it together with her and ill try adding abbey later but omg iconic..... IOIFSBIOFISOFBIBFSUIB HAS THIS EVER HAPPENED???? my alliance is still nayeli n michael... but this could be more interesting

BYE RAFFY! KARMA IS A BITCH

That was crazy night I know Rafael was somewhat crackd but I did like him. Now it's time to crack down on this challenge. I think our group is good. The best of what's left seems to be here for most part. There are a few people I would like to make merge to work with in other tribe so maybe they can take out the crackd ones. I feel secure I think that we'll make smart decisions should we go to tribal

soo practically with all that information I'm think I'm pretty comfy in this game bc 1. i have a strong alliance with michael n nayeli 2. also with ali & amanda 3. now with emily by initiating us to resolve our tundra/toph drama 4. getting amanda in a lesbian alliance with me and emily now i plan on getting out will bc he's 1. a guy 2. no in any of those alliances and it'd be better for me to have more options open bc i wouldn't mind flipping for my lesbians if i need that

I know yay more confessions. idc about raffy so I'm happy he's out thank god i don't have to bother getting him out  and trying to make lame ass excuses why he should lol.  anyways i am however SUPER excited to that were 5 people out of the way and I've manage to go through only 1 tribal where i practically initiated getting out aundra with michael n nayeli and forming an alliance with amanda around that.  anyways my game plan atm is to win more of these immunities bc I'm not going to be on anyones bad side by making funny jokes and being nice and helpful! I'm pretty set until merge and thats kinda what I'm trying to do with this new alliance with emily to get 4v3 and win a majority if we go to tribal.  and hopefully i can survive like that for a while and then also come back with michael and amanda hopefully.

ok also if I'm being super fucking honest.... I'm still mad at amanda for being kinda boring in the film challenge bc I MADE ALL THOSE FUNNY IDEAS!!! but that won't sever my alliance at all with her. also idk how to talk to ali i got stuck with him bc of michael and idk how I'm going to speak to him :////

I'm glad to have made it this far, but I am really worried for myself after this tribe swap. I'm afraid the other tribe knows I'm a threat and want to take me Out

anyone else extremely happy to see only ONE woman leave this cast I'm loving it!!! I'm gonna laugh toward the end bc i know there will be like two all girls alliances conflicting with one another iangoisdngiodsnigdsiosdnodgs.

I'm very nervous about the results for immunity. I've never played this game and therefore didn't realize how many things these people had in common. I hope if we do go to tribal, my lack in answers won't hinder my chances in staying here

If I have go to tribal again I might just... I don't even know I just don't wanna think about that right now

I'm so scared!!! I went balls out on that chart - I probably put in like 30% of the pairs. I want to cry!!! I just want to be safe I don't want to have to scramble. Tomorrow is opening night for my show and I need a day off!!! Ugh I'm scared. And I worked really hard. We all did. I hope Salão can pull this out!!!

Normally I'm super nervous for results but it's so nice having tribe that actually talks. I haven't even realized that's it's been like half an hour. These are my peeps now keys win and solidify our bonding

The Salao tribe wins immunity

https://survivorazores.tumblr.com/post/163736442118/results-6

I'm not gonna like broadcast the fact that we probably won because I went in last minute and added a few more facts but... holy shit? We won? I'm so happy?

I'm so happy that we won immunity!!!! I finally have a day to relax, especially with One World being over. I don't get to worry about the other tribe's affairs and I just get to lay low, make my social game better, and relax

I CANT WIN A CHALLENGE DSFJFDSHJFKKDSHFJKDS. I'm really denise huh... So its a 4 vs 4 split based on tribal lines although ashley was an og espresso so maybe she'll be with me. I think I have a good relationship with Francie so maybe that'll save me from being salad's target. Time to prepare to be shook one more time!

What the HECK why did we lose by two points, I'm so frustrated. I'm glad I have the all girls alliance to fall back on and now I just have to figure... everything else... out too!

Espirito has been at tribal 3 times in a row now. I'm really conflicted because I feel like Ricky wasn't there at all to help, and that might put a target on his back and I don't think I can do anything about it sadly. But I think I helped, and I was pretty active in chat, but I don't know what Amanda Lynn is thinking because she's the power player, I may be going home next.

I have a lot to say about this loss. This 2 point loss. But I'm so tired. We are 10 days into this game and I'm drained. Currently, I need to put my trust in Ricky, and I'm so nervous about doing that. We had a long conversation on call that I'm too drained to discuss and we pretty much said we were nervous seeing the other on the cast bc we haven't talked for a year since Hawaii but we really just want to but that hell season behind us and work together. So I need to just trust him. I don't have another choice on that. 2 points. I could have found 2 more things. I'm so mad.

I can't believe we lost by two points. Two points. Anyway. I'm hoping that Amanda and I will get Ruthie and Ashley to vote with us since we're in an alliance. If we get Michael on our side as a former Salão member then we can have the majority this vote and use that to our advantage.

We won!!!! I'm so happy we won because I love everyone in the tribe and I really didn't want to vote anyone out just yet. And I worked super hard on that challenge. Yay!!! Now there's time to chill and bond rather than scramble and worry. I think my favorite part about the whole thing is that we won by two points. It was so close. I love it.

After this two point loss I'm saltier than my kitchen floor after that endurance challenge.

Here are two confessions because I think I forgot to send this one nakanwkwn One: http://youtu.be/giwY7r8bqLA Two: http://youtu.be/pEnc7w3e048

I'm nervous about this tribal, this may be it for me.

No one is really having a clear idea of what is going on at this tribal, is this how all the Espirito tribals have been???

Oh henny, not miss Michael flipping this vote.

Amanda and I called last night and we were planning on voting Ashley out. We've changed our minds since then and are going after Ricky because other tribe members are more likely to vote for him than Ash. Not only that but Ricky appears to have a strong social game which would be a threat should he make merge so its best to vote him out now. With us former Salão members, and a few others, we have the numbers to take him out tonight provided everyone keeps their word.

I love how I put a sense of doubt in people's minds about Ricky last night and this morning the vote has switched from Ashley to Ricky. These people are all unknowingly following my beat and I'm just chilling.

Okay... I know that at least half of my confessionals are just me complaining that I don't trust Ricky and being in this game with him makes me nervous. And that's still true. But yesterday, we went on call, and we had a good conversation. And I'm not gonna go into detail because that was just for us but like, we agreed to work together. And then Mo comes to me like, "I want to vote Ricky out because he isn't pulling his weight in challenges and I just want to get to merge and you can help me do that" blah blah blah. But like, Ricky trusts Mo and he wants Ashley out and all this stuff so I steer Mo away from Ricky and get him on the Ashley train and be like, we can get Ricky next time bc we would only need 4 votes then, blah blah and he agrees. Well then I talk to Michael Francie. And they bring up valid points. Ashley has been targeted and it would be easy to get her out later. Ricky has been a target every tribal and yet he is still here. He's got a good social game. Its the same thing that happened in Hawaii. Voting Ricky out makes sense. More sense than voting Ashley out. But.... I cannot believe I am having a moral dilemma about voting him out. I think I just feel bad because we just like, got on good terms and I feel like he really trusts me, and I do like him as a person outside the game. But literally everyone (except Ruthie) has brought his name up. Everyone wants him out. I don't want to put a target on me to try and save him if my whole tribe wants this to happen. I'm also torn because like, Abbey was aligned with him. He is a number for her. I don't want her to be mad at me either. Ugh, I hate this. Ricky is gonna think I'm just a manipulator and everything we said yesterday means nothing, and that's not true. He's not gonna know that until these confessionals come out and even then he might not read them. It's truly not a personal move. It's strictly a game move. I just hope this doesn't backfire in later rounds...

No idea what will happen tonite but I'm hoping I get through it. If I go I'll be so upset cause I really want to be here and give my all. I'm playing my best unlike these crackd people that are playing messy games. I'm hoping with the swap we have enough smart people to do the right thing.

I really hope Amanda isn't lying to me, I need to survive this and make merge so I can be back with Will and Abbey. I would love that foursome to be a thing. I can't even imagine what's going on over there. All I know is Fuck Ali Tanveer

People may think Amanda is calling the shots, but she literally is carrying out all my dirty work for me this tribal.

So think the vote is Ricky but hes pushing on Ashley or maybe me. I really regret not being able to be as active today because this is scary...

s t r e s s e d

the swap was ugly and i want to get voted out. i literally hate talking to people bc they're boring sometimes (sorrynotsorry). i hope michaels doing okay now that he's on the other tribe.

Me voting Ricky out?  Why am I about to start crying? This is one of the hardest votes I've had to make in my entire Survivor career, Ricky doesn't deserve this but I want to show my all girl alliance that I'm loyal af and that...  idk, that we aren't aligned I guess, but this is still so hard and I feel so bad and I want to like warn him or something but I KNOW he doesn't have the idol.  I want to go one round where I'm not looked at like a loon or something though but this just sucks all the way around, I feel so bad for Ricky and I feel like if we ever end up together again Will is going to be SO mad at me. I trust Ashley, Amanda and Francie but it's not the same as it was with Will, like I don't feel like I can talk about people idk, I'm just scared that they have an alliance with michael without me or something.

This is the Rick-key to my success.

https://survivorazores.tumblr.com/post/163772076838/tribal-6-espirito

Ricky becomes the sixth boot of Survivor Athena: Azores