#I'm basically delirious rn

[zonky-zara]

Songs of Valor, Old Girl.

[aslongasitistold]

Tobias's airpod max headphones are so beautiful it has influenced me so much I want a pair so bad until I remember they are NINE HUNDRED DOLLARSSSSS that is NEVER happening. but anyway my headcanon is not that he bought them himself but that they were one of his conditions for working/choreographing at the NY ballet. Similar to when Jack was like we'll sort your toothpaste but instead he was like okay we'll get you your nine hundred dollar headphones, fine.

[pseudophan]

What's the context for this? https://www.tumblr.com/pseudophan/787184045788479488/hi-nora-i-just-wanted-to-remind-you-that-youre?source=share

I tried looking in your archive under #phan but there's so much haha

basically phannies mostly stopped using the #phan tag on here years ago because they decided it was cringe all of a sudden (and some thought dan and phil had a problem with it), but i, being really stubborn and professionally annoying, always thought that was bullshit and kept using it for ages still. of course because no one used that tag we stopped doing well on the tumblr fandometrics top ships lists, which we used to dominate back in the day. that wasn't really an issue for years because dnp were pretty quiet outside of their solo stuff and the very occasional joint content, but then they came back and we all went batshit again and i was just looking at the fandometrics ships like... i know this is super silly, but i love winning and we definitely have the numbers to be on here, like we SHOULD be at least top 10 with the amount we're posting about them, it's just that no one uses the ship tag anymore because it's "embarrassing" or whatever. anyway like i said, i'm annoying and stubborn, so i made a few posts essentially being like "hey i know everyone thinks tagging phan is cringe now but can we start doing it again anyway because i want to win this thing please" and i honestly didn't think that many people would agree and start doing it but it kind of spread like wildfire lmao 😭 the more people started tagging it the more followed because i guess it's less embarrassing if everyone else is doing it too, and when dan and phil posted their videos on here people would reply to their posts telling them to also tag phan to help us win, and it worked! i think the first one they tagged was one of the twitter reaction videos? i was in the queue to see tit when they posted it so it's a bit of a blur, but yeah i'm pretty sure dan tagged phan and we were all like 👀 wait did he just do that because it's a phan twitter/tumblr video or did he see us asking them to help us out by tagging it 👀 and then he tagged his next post phan also and i've never been happier lmfao, HUGE win. phil joined in too and now they're gonna do it forever i guess. one time dan forgot but went back to add it like an hour later, which is honestly just very sweet

idk why this ended up so long and detailed i'm sorry, i'm supposed to be asleep rn but apparently i'm unable to do that so i'm deliriously rambling instead. hope this provided the context you wanted though 😭

tl;dr: i asked everyone to start tagging phan again for the tumblr fandometrics and a bunch of people actually did, then we got dan and phil to join in and now they tag phan on all their tumblr posts

for the record i'm not saying i personally did much here lol, all i did was go 'hey cringe is dead lets tag phan again' and people did. guess everyone was just waiting for an excuse

[catwoman-is-my-mom]

Ra's Al ghul

There is no way that his birth name was ra's al ghul. No this motherfucker woke up one day and chose to change his name to ra's al ghul. And look guys I may not have read a single comic yet (will be reading them in the summer don't come at me I got exams rn) but I've gathered enough from fanfics. Just for starters I'm arab. So Ra's al ghuls name has a meaning in arabic (ik this is probably a known fact but im covering the basics here guys bare with me).

Ra's means Head

Al means the

Ghul means demon or monster

So his first name is ra's and his last name is al ghul. Look yall it's plausible that his last name is al ghul, it makes sense cuz most family names r random like that. Idk anywhere else but in Arab countries the last name is the family name. But ik for a fact that his mother didn't give birth to her son and went "hmmm what shall I name him OOH I know I'll name him ✨️head✨️" like no yall this shit doesn't make sense anywhere. So he (probably just to be dramatic) woke up one day amidst his crazy dreams and decided aye I'm gonna change my name to head so my last name would look cool. And no one knows since it was like centuries ago. Idk yall it's just funny to imagine that

ALSO HIS NAME IS RA'S ITS PRONOUNCED JUST AS IT IS. ITS NOT RASHE ITS JUST RAS OR RAZ COULD WORK IG ITS MOT PRONOUNCES LIKE RAN THE A IS PRONOUNCED LIEK THE A IN APPLE

Please no one come at me I just joined the fandom a couple months ago and I'm delirious from no sleep <33

If ur very against my theory then just act as if it's a headcannon pls

Again I don't mean to be rude or shit on a comic I'm just a random prsn who decided to let yall know that in my language it doesn't make much sense

Thank you for coming to my ted talk

[flipfliqyaoi]

Do you ever think about what happened to Flippy after Operation Tiger Bomb? Like I always imagined he woke up, scared and confused, in tears and surrounded by tiger corpses, with the last memory he had before "blacking out" was being inside his friend's corpse. Since you mentioned in your previous ramble about him and Fliqpy relying on adrenaline, I'm now thinking he will probably be in immense pain as well.

I also think he would have probably gotten lost for a while (for weeks specifically) before getting found by anyone in the W.A.R.

YESSS oh my god u get it. The implication at the end of that Ka-Pow episode where Fliq, instead of going back to base after successfully killing the General, he decides to find THEIR base instead and show up with their mutilated General in that pizza box. (Assuming that the spot the meeting was held in, is a whole different spot from their actual base).

So 100% this dude has been legitimately traversing by himself, coming all the way over that damned island, eradicate like basically that whole base I'm assuming, and when he finally switched out, Flippy's basically lost and probably presumed dead for a while before any of his team spontaneously finds him. I wouldn't blame him for thinking he's just a walking corpse at that point too, thinking he's a dead man already. I cannot imagine having to travel through the forest praying for someone to find him as he's actively bleeding the hell out. Realistically he'd die on the spot from blood loss and such but. For the sake of lore — he survives and gets found yay!!

Flippy would most likely have collapsed somewhere he thought would be "safe" and just sat there. Maybe he tries to get his radio to work despite the lack of hands, try to contact anybody and hold onto his sliver of hope of getting out of there. His body literally burns and aches in the worst ways possible. His soles were sore from however many kilometers Fliq had travelled, his taste bud coated in the taste of iron mixed with his enemies blood along with his own. He feels feverish and delirious, thousands of needles jabbing against his torn arms and deep gushing wounds every inch he moves. With that amount of pain I doubt he can register the moment that people found him and finally got help, or frankly, anything at all — the entire situation is blurry to him, almost unrecognizable. It's more like he got time skipped into the hospital without his knowledge. Forearms sewed in and torso wrapped in bandages, hooked onto IVs and sounds of doctors along with his visiting comrades surrounding him and chattering.

If it's anything like Unicorn Wars he definitely got promoted to a new rank right after because holy fuckk how does one Private cause that much destruction AND survive it. The military would value him so so much but that's also at the cost of him having way more shit to do than necessary so SHRUGS... New rank but he's gonna be used to hell in missions and be ruthlessly burnt out. Sigh. Would kind of explain how he's been in all sorts of situations including being captured and tortured

side note I really appreciate u being so interested in my rants & asking HAHA it means a lot! I'm getting to talk about this dumb bear so much rn

[mariusrenathyrs-crashout]

just read ur oc post and ??????? omg????? i'm blown away, these little guys are so rad!!! histerria is Such a cool take on mindflayer tadpoles and abductions n shit!! i love it!! i never considered the possibility that ppl in a fantasy dnd world might dismiss alien abduction stories the same way we do irl, but it makes so much sense!!!! and llewyn's whole thing with their not-god is so fucking awesome, that's so interesting and fucked up!! also would u be willing to elaborate on hastaal's backstory or naw? i'm v curious lol. (like why did he have to eat his brother? what happened there?) obv u don't have to answer this or anything, i just needed to yap lol. sorry to bother u and hope ya have a good night :)

Thanks! Wow lmao, I really appreciate this especially cause like I think Histerria and Llewyn are super fun and I really had a blast with Histerria's whole spin on alien abductions. Also! I hope you have a good night as well anon.

Ya I can spill some Haas lore. He's currently the guy who I rotate in my head so so often due to actively playing him rn. (CW Cannibalism mention)

Haas and his triplet brother's Esok and Jaing were all in this super militaristic society together and raised as soldiers since childhood. Their army is at war with the Shade army who are representing Shar, and the two societies have had about a century long spat between their societies both over religious and territorial disputes.

Over time though their army began losing more and more battles, their strategies seemingly combated by the enemy conveniently having the perfect counter strategy or equipment. During the War of 100 Nights though Haastal and his older brother Esok noticed that one of the enemy groups had a map basically detailing theirs and other platoons positions, this map having one of their own army's seals on it. They basically realize there has been a mole feeding info to the enemy and Esok sends Haas to try and go back to base and tell their General about this. Haas and his squad make it but mind you this battle of 100 Nights has already taken a heavy toll on the army as they're all with minimal rations, they're all mostly starved, freezing during the winter, and all either sick or injured in some sort of way so by the time he makes it back him and his men are all struggling.

Once he gets back and tells the General, the General shockingly takes him and his squad into military custody. Turns out the General was the mole and he's been working with the Shade army for years now. He plans to pin this betrayal though on Haas and his men and have them executed for being traitors, pinning this crime on them and getting off scott free. However, Esok eventually makes it back and hears about what happened and basically starts piecing together that its their General who is corrupt. He tried going to free Haas and his men who by this point are all LITERALLY like starving and delirious and scared out of their minds. With this, a new opportunity presents itself to the General - get rid of a beloved Captain who would for sure try and expose his crimes and also pin further blame on Haas and his men and make the General seem like a hero for finding and executing them. He has one of his mages use Command on Haas and his men who are ordered to attack like animals and they literally cannot help themselves but rip and tear Esok apart and Haas basically comes to his senses having torn his brother's throat out with his bare teeth - he didn't cannibalize him in the sense of even really purposefully doing so, it was more gore was in his mouth and he was forced to swallow but that alone was enough to scar him. His younger brother Jaing finds out about this, tries killing Haas and Haas in his dismay and going off pure adrenaline and grief and all that steals a talisman that the Shadar-Kai use to teleport to the material plane and warps there, destroying it and fleeing for his life.

[crowned-corvidae]

Soo this is sorta bittersweet for me to do, some FNAF art in sonic99rae/raebae/thenarrguy/whatever tf else she's named herself over the year's oldddd style lmao. I used to be an avid watcher back in the day and probably have some suuper old fanart ive done based on their art, ill probably share those soon for funsies! :)

(may be a bit over the place lolol I'm so delirious rn)

So, I remember all that shit happening with her getting framed for doing shitty things (that was confirmed in this video) and her basically getting bullied off the internet for a while, and wow did that really open my eyes to how shitty the internet can be, at the wise age of 10 years old. like my god that was like my first taste of what twitter is like now. It's horrible that all happened to her at such an early age but I'm very happy she's doing better now! She's another artist that really inspired me to animate and draw at such an early age!

(side note I did see that post about someone claiming she's homophobic, I haven't been able to tell if that's for sure true or not alksdjklfdjs but if she is than woops lol :P but without proof I'm not gonna give those people much thought tbh)

[sxulcxtcher]

3 am and im fucking delirious.

Anyways broken insane protag hero x demon, reincarnated into a lowly demon and we want to survive but, demonic tendencies are strong, so we make a devious plan to break the heroes spirit so we can actually live, it work a little too well when the hero came knocking at our hideout covered in blood a lovesick grin on his lips as he kneels down on the ground pathetically, late to realize the hero is practically stripping at the doorway, demonic tendencies kicked in like a semi-truck hitting a concrete wall and next thing we know is that the hero chained themselves to bed twitching, panting and have a delirious look in their eyes as they babble how unworthy his body is to make you touch him let alone deflower him, so basically hero insane killed the demon lord and crowned us as new king while they fulfill every shameful task but its fine hes the one getting fucked and bred by the new king while he also kills off new rivals heroes.

-❄️ (absolutely delirious rn so format and wordings are shit, goodnight)

could barely understand lol but I saw the demonic and bred so now I'm happy

(GOT TO SLEEP)

[oceanjoker]

Silly anon here, with some au ideas:

1. actor au. The rivalry the 1 and 2p guys have is just part of the script and the guys are all friends

2. Supernatural/demon hunter au. Del and vanoss are monster/demon hunters and have to stop some from taking over a town (not really sure about this au. It came to me in a dream that i sadly don’t remember much of. Also, i think del and vanoss were the only humans, the rest of the guys were different monsters. I’ll probably send another ask and try to list what monsters they’d be in the next ask. Most likely just google some monsters and stuff)

3. Space au. Thats it, thats the au. Basically think either star trek, star wars, or some other media that happens to be in space, but add some extra angst, drama, and maybe a grain of silly. Also, the 2p guys framed the 1p guys and now there’s bounty hunters after the 1p guys and stuff (similar case with it being in a dream that i forgot about)

Oh these are cool!

In the demon hunter one I can picture Cartoonz and Delirious having a little nice dynamic while Vanoss is trying to be a brave boy by saying that he is not scared, I'd love to read your ideas about the other guys being monsters tho!

and about the space one, I'm a Star Rail player (I'm actually playing it rn) and I absolutelly dig this idea And I liked the idea of the 2P crew fucking around with the 1P identities, that would be a really nice adventure

talking about AUs, that reminds me I did a couple of concepts based on Project Zomboid since me and my friends we always play being other characters, and we played it being some of the members of the crew, some died and became zombies others still surviving. Man I should call them to continue that play it was nice.

[xstarkillerx]

*let me do this again my dumb ass couldnt find the ask lmao*

dude i saw you reblogged my brian o'conner crash fanart, i was about to plug my A03 (i can't really post my delirious fantasies here since this is supposed to be a blog for my art collective 👀) BUT THEN i saw you already posted my shit here BUNNIE IT WAS YOU ALL ALONG insert iasip meme ILY <3 <3 <3

BASSE-FOSSE YOU ARE SO FAMOUS TO ME HELLLOOOOOO!!!!! It is me, you found me! I definitely should've put two and two together that the person posting art of Brian as Gabrielle and the person writing wild crash-f&f crossovers was one and the same lol. Although, as I've come to learn through your awesome recommendation that led me down a bit of a podfic rabbit hole, there are some bonkers, fantastical fics for f&f with super out there concepts but are really really well realized, which was pleasant to discover. I'm gonna keep blabbing under the read-more, because I'm so happy to have found you on tumblr, but I'll end off by saying I can't believe you posted to ao3 twice in July and I didn't know, I'm literally about to feast rn.

Anyway so nice to see you!!!!!

For anyone curious about what we're taking about, here you go!

I should take this time to say crash blew my mind, you were so right about the final scene being extremely similar to the end of the first f&f, to the point where my friend and I's reactions when we did that double feature were pretty much identical, it was so funny! We watched Crash first, and there was something about seeing that Miata finally get knocked off the highway, that was soooooooo... Like, I may be reading too much into this and I definitely don't understand the movie entirely yet, but MX-5 Miatas are one of the most personified cars out there because of their eye-like headlights and mouth-like vents, they literally look like 😃 it's so cute. Miatas are almost always portrayed as innocent, Friendly, and childlike, so to see the destruction of one (which the movie was def building up to), AND TO WATCH JAMES FUCK CATHERINE IN WRECKAGE , like it's such a good image to end on… it really drives home the irreparable effect being introduced to Vaughn's "world" had on them, like they basically went through the a fucked up version of the hero's journey and were left on the other side of the threshold not knowing how to cope, my jaw was on the floor!!! The unattainable fantasy of ultimate orgasm because of the resiliency of both cars AND human bodies, it was so good. "Maybe the next one, maybe the next one," still gives me shivers.

So watching F&F afterward was hilarious because my friend basically had the same reaction to its ending, that truck impact hit her real hard (she too wanted them to ugly fuck on the busted charger lol). I had told her that this was essentially the most blood we would ever see in the rest of the franchise which is not a lot, and we ended up having a whole conversation about comparing the fantasy set in place by both movies. The fantasy of F&F is essentially 1) the characters' inability to die/stay dead or get injured and 2) the seemingly omnipotent ability of cars to take down larger and larger vehicles, starting with 18-wheelers and progressing to yachts, trains, Humvees, planes, it's endless!! Whereas the fantasy in the world of Crash IS to die, to be scarred, marred, for every dent and scratch on your car to be mirrored on your skin until you're one and the same. It's the next evolution of man, to be melded with machine in a way that's gorey and sexual. Both works involve little family institutions, people who get it, people who have your back, and a fearless leader running the show. Where Dom Toretto literally can't die, or even lose, because it's in vin diesel's contract, Vaughn was fated to! What kind of example would he be setting for the others if he couldn't achieve the nirvana of dying on the toronto freeway.

Ugh I totally did not mean to give you an entire book report but I've been sitting on all of this for so long and I figured you of all people would understand being immensely effected by these two movies being put together lol. Anyway thanks for reaching out! I'm around if you ever wanna talk f&f, I loveeeeee the way you view that universe. Much luvvvv 🫶🫶

[cousticks]

COU have you ever listened to will wood? I've been listening to him for a couple years and he's pretty neat. His lyrics are really fun to dive into.

(the normal album is my favorite but I also like his stuff with the tapeworms and his two most recent albums. I just love all his stuff lol)

Anyway

I've been assigning bsd characters to his songs for awhile and I was listening to one of his songs from his most recent album. It's called Misanthropologist (<- good song I like the lyrics alot) and I think it's got some Skk vibes but I wanna see what you think :D

first of all the opening lyrics:

I wanna meet your maker shake him by his ensanguined damask lapels Holler “look what you’ve done gave this planet a sun and a man to wonder if he's more than the sum of his cells"

to me reminded me of how Dazai views Chuuya when Chuuya’s fighting he’s captivated and in 15 Chuuya basically gives Dazai a reason to live and I think that fits with the last line well. 

This verse:

Cause you defy creation I hate you, I hate you, I do Hands to the night sky  Praying that you might die Before I fall in love with you

Idk how to explain this but this feels very Skk to me.

But I can hate myself so you don't have to

Dazai coded tbh

Also

God don't explain the way time and space made us But with the wavelengths bending it makes sense to me The only things that's meant to be is gravity and what comes up must go down

This verse, this verse is what made me think “oh this is skk coded”. Its just them to me

Bit by bit and heart by heart, this won't have to end if it doesn't start

Reminds of how they still call each other partners despite everything.

idk man I'm sick as heck rn and maybe im delirious but I wanted to see what you thought :D

-🦑

Squoose hi!!!!!

Yeah, I have listened to Will Wood! I've heard a handful off of The Normal Album!! Sometimes Suburbia Overture gets stuck in my head.

But gosh that first bit you sent. Look what you've done // gave this planet a sun // and a man to wonder if he's more than the sum of his cells is sooooo. That can be so 15 era but also them in general. Everything you've sent me is SO correct.

That last line especially gets to me, but it just feels really dazai in general to me. this won't have to end if it doesn't start??? from the perspective of a man that is always pursuing a reason to feel alive but never allows himself to truly grasp it because its always pulled away at the last minute???? god.

You're so correct these lyrics are so Them coded but from a Dazai brain. I'll be rotating some of those lines in my hindbrain for a while thank you

[bucketofchum]

oh my godd poor Atumu..... poor baby ahh

-shy anon

Yeh the part I didn't write about (the roughly TWO years he spends bed bound and restrained, starved and dehydrated and neglected, while not knowing why or what was going on - if he did anything wrong/what he did to deserve this) were literally some of the worst thing moments of Atumu's life. It was SUCH a bad time not just for physical deterioration reasons but also bc of the mental anguish of "why is this happening? What did I do?"

It's so so so fucking miserable.

In the end, it was actually a moment when King was high (sometimes King uses opium to cope with life), and stumbles into Anhar's room and talks to Atumu/Anhar that Atumu is roused out of his comatose state. The really really tragic thing is that he would have been responsive if anyone actually engaged with him. But no one did. Radu and Dani would be the only ones who drip honey water into his mouth, or give him sugar water enemas just to make sure his body was absorbing some water and nutrients. But besides those rare minutes in the day, he had absolutely no interaction with anyone while literally being bound on the bed. If King had come in to talk to him at any point in those many many months, Atumu would have been responsive. But he didn't.

So it was only when King was high out of his mind and goes into the room and rambles, speech slurred, to Anhar that Atumu becomes responsive. He asks for forgiveness. Then he asks for death.

So King is like sloppily making out with barely lucid Atumu, and Atumu is kissing back hard, but just cuz he's so fucking dehydrated that his throat just tastes like metallic blood and King's saliva is just about the only moisture he has gotten all day. King is too high out of his mind to realise that Atumu is actually awake and conscious, and definitely too delirious to understand what's going on and to give Atumu actual water 😭😭😭

So they have a sloppy make out session but it's just King being high and Atumu being so fucking dehydrated. And when Atumu can finally speak, his first words are an apology. "I'm sorry, Master. Whatever I have done, I am sorry." He doesn't know what he has done to deserve this fate, but he knows he must have done something. It's all he can think about, when he can think. King is still way too high to understand what's going on. Doesn't realise these are the first words that Atumu has uttered in almost a year. He just slurs a "Hmmm? Whuh--"

"I understand that I have failed you. You are in good hands with Danica and Radu. If you have no further use for me, I ask that you end my life." And King is still too high out of his mind and just falls asleep on Atumu. Atumu would cry if he had any moisture to spare. He also just like...he doesn't even know if he's still alive. Atumu also goes to sleep again after that bc he basically thinks he is dead.

The next day, King wakes up and is like..?? Oh boy wow that was embarrassing. He wakes up in the arms of his comatose captive slave, who resembles his most beloved life companion, after getting absolutely wasted on opium. How embarrassing. It's not a record low, but still bad enough that he would rather not talk about it. He mutters a soft apology to Anhar just out of reflex of politeness, and here is where Atumu actually responds.

Oh my god wait I just realized it gets so much worse before it gets better holy shit I'm about to break my own heart fuck.

Okay so Atumu responds, but just a soft exhale, mouthing "Master". And that's more movement than King has ever seen from Anhar in the past year or so. So he frantically grabs water to give to Atumu. He has to drip water into Atumu's mouth with his fingers first before Atumu can even properly drink. Atumu downs several glasses easily, but King stops because too much water too fast is also not good.

Okay so uhhhh-- I'm gonna fast forward through this bc it is still too heart breaking for me to deal with rn but I'll post about it later maybe. But uhhh. Okay so Atumu and King actually have a moment to talk. Like for real. Atumu again asks for forgiveness and death. King is entirely confused. He has never heard Anhar speak to him with such reverence. King is the only thing that matters to Atumu in his life, so if King does not want him around anymore - does not need him - he has no reason to continue to be alive. King is honestly confused by all of this.

Then uhhh the beginning of the end. Atumu calls him by his real name, which I won't write here just out of respect for King. King freezes. His mind reels. His body immediately goes into a panic attack. There is only one human being - only one BEING in existence, that he can recall telling his real name to, besides his family. And that was Atumu. King just experiences a whole array of traumatic flashbacks, reliving the pain of losing Atumu, of losing their daughter. Centuries of mourning. He staggers backwards and collapses, heaving from the panic attack.

Atumu is still bed bound at this time. Not only bed bound but literally BOUND TO THE BED. his wrists are bound to each headboard post and his ankles to the end posts of the bed. His body has been bound in this position for months. His limbs, tendons, ligaments, muscles, are dehydrated like beef jerky. But hearing his Master wheezing, sobbing, crying, screaming, wailing, calling out his name - "Atumu" - Atumu fights to move for the first time. He needs to be there for his Master.

King is knelt on the floor, wailing and gasping, trapped in his own memories. The door is locked, so even though Dani and Radu can hear their Master, they can't get in. They desperately search for the skeleton key.

Atumu screams as he rips his arms from the bedposts. The ligaments in his shoulders and elbows tear horribly. But Atumu has tremendous strength when he needs to have it, and hearing his Master in pain like this necessitates this. He pulls his arms with such force that it breaks the wooden bed posts - the rope still tied around each post, and the other end of the ropes still tied around his wrists. Neither of his arms are functional anymore - dislocated either at the shoulders or at the elbows from this horrible action. They hang limply at his side as he throws his body on the ground, crawling like a worm towards his still sobbing Master. The wooden bedposts dragging behind him.

He has no use of his arms, so he can't prop himself up. But when he reaches King, he presses his face into King's lap and whispers "Master, I'm here. I'm here, Master" in response to King wailing his name. King grabs onto Atumu and cradles his head, sobbing still. King is still fully lost in his memories, in his mind. He is not at all present, but having something to hold onto, hearing Atumu's voice, seems to help a bit.

By now, Radu has found the skeleton key, and manages to open the locked door. Radu and Danica see a horrifying scene. Their Master, in horrendous distress, and Anhar - their prisoner ward who had tried to kill them some months ago - escaped from his bindings? The splintered wood of the bed posts still on the ground. The only conclusion they could make was that Anhar had escaped from his bindings and made another attempt on King's life.

They grab their Master to help him out of the room and lock the door behind them.

The next few days are spent with Dani and Radu taking care of King, making sure he is healthy and mentally okay again. Having recovered from his opium bender and emotional breakdown, he has had a bit more time to reflect. But he has work to do, so he plungez himself back into his work. Still, he thinks about that last interaction he had with Anhar. Was it a dream?

Meanwhile, back with Atumu, it gets worse. For three days, he is left on the ground, arms all but shattered from ripping them off the bedpost. No one came to check on him in those 3 days, so he falls back into the comatose state. It's to preserve the energy he doesn't have. His organs are failing and he needs to go into the comatose state to survive. After 3 days, by King's orders, Radu and Danica put him back into bed, tie him up again, and continue caring for him in the bare minimum way that they had before. More time (weeks? months?) elapse while King is on his work trips. Atumu's condition worsens.

Finally, King returns from his work trip. He can't stop thinking about what happened that day. Was it a dream? He knows he was high, so he can't trust himself. But he needs to find out for himself.

Against Radu's warnings, King goes to seek out Anhar again. The boy is so skeletal. Just a pile of bones, barely visible on the bed, arms strung up again. It's such a sad pathetic sight. He feels so bad, partially responsible for Anhar's sad state. He speaks softly to Anhar, which rouses Atumu. Atumu gasps a breath of life when he comes back into consciousness. He tries to whisper another apology.

King has come prepared this time. Prepared with water and honey for Anhar, and prepared with questions. Mostly, he is mentally prepared. Not sure what the answers will be.

"When we last spoke, you called me a name...what was it?"

"I... apologize if I am not permitted to utter your name, Master--" Atumu quickly whispers. His entire body is in so much pain and he wants only death. He is so so so sorry.

"What was the name you said? I have only told this name to one person."

"Was he not I, Master?" Atumu is beginning to doubt himself. It couldn't be him...could it be him? He's only a slave...maybe he is mistaken. His memory seems to have a lot of holes now anyway...

"What was the name, Anhar?" King insists.

"Master *****..." Atumu whispers almost inaudibly, and winces in fear that speaking this name will call upon an sort of punishment. But no punishment comes.

"Where did you hear of this name?" This time King is calm in hearing his name. He is prepared.

"I...I don't... remember..." Atumu is speaking the truth. He doesn't know. He doesn't remember.

In fact, King had told Atumu his real name after their daughter died. It was a heart wrenchingly tragic moment, and he wanted his most beloved companion to know his true name. So that at least one other being in this world would know him.

"What do you remember?"

Atumu remembers...his head hurting. He remembers waking up, as if from a long sleep. Not knowing what was going on. He remembers the attack -- they were under attack. He remembers feeling a hot knife slash his throat -- but King was hurt too. He remembers trying to save King's life. (He would never have thought it was King who slit his throat. He knows his Master would never hurt him. The only logical conclusion he could come to was that they were both under attack). And then he couldn't remember much else. He remembered the servants, Danica and Radu. They are humans. They are looking out for King. He knows he can trust them to take care of King...if he is no longer needed...

Slowly now, King asks... hesitantly... "What is your name?"

"My name is Atumu, Master..." he speaks slowly and deliberately at first...but then interrupts himself quickly, as he has noticed his Master and Radu and Danica using another name with him. "B-but if you should wish my name to be otherwise, I shall know no other name."

King's eyes widen. If he wasn't wearing a veil over his face, Atumu would see his eyes watering. "Atumu....how can this be? You were dead, Atumu. I killed you."

"I am not, Master. As you can see, I am alive and well." (Well, not "well"). "And I know that is not true, Master. You would never hurt me."

"It was an accident...I killed you... I carried your body....for years... I have lived lifetimes without you. I have lived half a millennia in your absence."

Atumu doesn't know what to say in response. He doesn't know any of this. He doesn't remember. He doesn't remember much of anything. He doesn't know what is true and what was a dream. He has no details of any previous life he had lived. "Well, I am here now, Master...in your service....if you will still have me..."

King chokes out a laugh through his tears. "Oh, Atumu, you really are as wonderful as I remember you to be."

And then they make plans for him to get better, etc, and then fun shit happens, yadda yadda yadda

I said I wouldn't get into the details, but I got all caught up with myself and this is one of the most heart wrenching moments and ahhh

Sorry again for the text dump ahhhhhh good bye

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary57

11/7-8/2023

tuesday - wednesday

not a boring day, today.

i ate leftovers from yesterday and had leftover ramen that my gf didn't finish. i also ate candy and stuff and it's made me feel sort of sick, or at least like, sick with myself. but whatever. thursday is errand day but i don't think i'm going then. idk what i'm doing tomorrow, i'm probably going to try and record more, today i got 2 songs re-recorded basically, i think i'll like them a lot more when i slot those parts in and stuff. what else. mostly i vc'd today with a friend who was super deliriously drunk, and a friend who was not drunk our drunk friend got on this thing, of digging through his steam library for all of these dumb games he had. there was this one about a courier frog, we all were amazed and charmed by the shitty unity effort it was, and how there was this giant transformer running in circles for no reason, a crime scene, the frog held a knife, and a man on a roof. all unrelated to the game, or really even its setting, a row of 8 houses in a suburb, a shitty prefab full of invisible walls. for some reason that game made me want to play videogames more again. things are mysterious that way. seeing him get drunker, and play other games, made me want to play games less though. he was so drunk, thus out of it, while playing a puzzle game called chuzzle, he was getting really, i don't know, i don't know if he was for real frustrated or doing a joke where he was acting frustrated and crazy, by this time the vc had filled up more, the person who introduced him to the server we're in joined and i haven't vc'd w/ her in forever, a friend who is intermittently around in vc joined for a minute too, all while our drunk friend was sat there, staring at his screen, manic and silent, playing a kind of weird and cruel version of bejeweled where you torture strange creatures, made up of hair and eyes. he stayed on that game for like an hour. then he moved onto some other puzzle game that was like, you move blocks around a non-environment, it looked like lame mahjong tiles. anyways he was pretty good at that one and then hit the difficulty bump, and was still basically good but also drunk and still doing his frustrated guy bit, he did some stuff i feel bad about, i was writing it out but there's no reason to do that i think, i can't tell if it was a bit or not, or where it ends, if him feeling free to do some stuff as a bit is just him being able to actually just do certain things for real or not. he did start what i hope was a fake crying thing, where he was like, doing this intense fake ugly cry face, at least i hope it was fake, i asked our friend who knows him irl and she said he is just being a #mastermanipulator but i honestly can't tell still and feel bad basically because i was having a go at him being bad at a puzzle, not really mean i was just saying like "you're making the wrong shape." i don't know. it was funny hearing him say really slurred nonsense, and then say to us all, "can't you be quiet." or "shut your trap" and stuff like that. it was still a little stressful. i dunno. alcohol is kind of nightmarish to me, at least he had people around a while, so it wasn't totally drinking alone. or he was drunk alone but had some people beside him, to make it less soul-destroying. the people i knew who would do that were really really worrying. the vc was a lot of fun though, it's tragic how it makes me snack though, i love to eat salty trash while vcing. i am also just generally so hungry, always.

outside of that, uhhhhh, nothing really, it's a lot of just bullshitting about random stuff in those vcs, i keep thinking about watching this dogra magra movie. maybe i'll try that rn. thinking about the progress on the album, it's feeling closer and closer, i wonder how much closer i can get, if i keep re-recording stuff i'm maybe not happy with this week, that'd be good, but i wonder if i'd feel closer if i tried getting some lyrics out for these newer songs. or they do have lyrics, some at least, those ones are recorded thoughhhhhhhhhghghgh. i dunno. i think by the end of this week i should take a closer inventory of where these songs are, i should also try getting the vocals down for one of these older songs w/ lyrics. as it stands, there's a couple songs i want to still master differently, really minor guitar tone things i think. thennnn, there's one i definitely want to do some minor arranging on to get one part to be less fucked up, or maybe not arranging, just come in differently w/ vox, add an additional guitar bit. and then there's still one i for sure need to get the vocals right on, or a couple i guess.

anyway i watched like half of it i have to finish it 2morrowww, so

byebye!!!!!!!!!

[askfallenroyalty]

Just for clarification, when Chara and Toriel are discussing Asriel's sexuality in relation to Flora, do they not yet know they don't use he/him pronouns anymore? Or is that section referring to another character and I'm just confused.

Also, if Asriel is still attracted to Flora, but is trans/enby, would that make them a (m-spec?) lesbian? Or do they have a different label (or none at all)?

I meant to answer this but didn't get to

I know updates are slow and I'm dealing with personal stuff rn but basically:

Asriel only admitted to themself they're trans 15-25 minutes ago in universe. (Just long enough to be a concerning amount of time to bathe) They don't know ANYTHING about themself yet -names, labels, or even pronouns! I know for most people, it's a journey of trial and error and finding what feels right. Asriel has a lot to learn- and a lot of discussing to do.

For Chara and Toriel's perspective, asriel walked into the bathroom, took a long time in there, and now is magic-depleated drunk. Chara can figure out that Asriel became a flower -they know enough of how it works that it happend as an emotional stress response but not the "cure" to it. They have no clue what happened in there lmao

Asriel is delirious- I'm unsure if I should play it up for laughs a little more (realistically getting asriel to the table will take some effort lmao) but I don't wanna go too hard on it. After all it's a medical mishap and not a consensual alcoholic result. Not really fair to them -but also some lighter humor is very much needed. I'll find a compromise lol

[tauremornalome]

jc/lwj? this had not occurred to me but i'm thinking about it now and i am Intrigued. it seems extremely sad, which i like about it.

disclaimer, i am Really Bad at talking about things i like in fiction because dhdgsjdhdj Words Difficult (and also its almost 2 am rn)

BUT aaaaa yes!! extremely sad and angry, both of them. excellent mixture. let them argue and also kiss about it.

imagine you are jiang cheng and you lost Everything and you have like 3 relatively calm years to get your shit together. your sect, kinda isolated from others by the fact that you are not sworn bros with 3zun. your nephew, who is a baby and then a toddler and whose existence reminds you about everything you've lost. your own emotions - haha, good luck getting that in order lmao. for the expected period of time (or maybe a lil longer) you wear mourning robes, ONLY for your SISTER of-FUCKING-course (and you will whip anyone who suggests that you might be also maybe grieving wei wuxian).

also you saved that spooky flute and you rlly don't know what to do with it so you Repress Emotions Even Harder. and maybe hope someones gonna come and collect it (someone whos NOT jin guangyao, that lil snake. fuck off jin guangyao you are NOT getting yiling patriarch's flute. Stop Breaking Into My Chambers And Trying To Steal It)

and then. and then lan FUCKING wangji leaves his seclusion in Dramatic and also Very Fashionable Mourning Robes and you are like, ohhh master lan did someone die at the cloud recesses?? but wangji shoots you The Glare and of course you know who he is mourning. and you try very hard not to lose ur patience, right, and you wait for him to like maybe Stop and Get Over It, come on. but he doesn't, and also looks at you like you should be ashamed for not doing the same as him.

(also wangjis got a kid now and you perhaps remember a toddler running around the burial mounds, and you listen to the lan clan go "oh yes its hanguang juns illegitimate son, mhm. his name is Lan Imissweiying" and you are like. HOW is anyone buying this dumb story)

Yeah now imagine you are lan zhan and There Is No More Joy In Your Life, Birth Is A Curse And Existence Is A Prison, and you leave your seclusion being still depressed as fuck, and theres that guy who basically kind of killed wei ying. and even if he didnt kill him he still, you know, attempted. so. and that guy is apparently now famous for hunting demonic cultivators for sport??? for who knows what purposes but rlly probably nothing good considering he's whipping them with sexy lightning whip. and you are like, hey, i am ALSO gonna hunt demonic cultivators. No I Dont Know What Imma Do With Them. maybe ill find wei ying, u kno, since i lost my purpose in life anyway.

for the record, jiang cheng is probably also not sure what for hes hunting demonic cultivators. he has NO idea what hes gonna do if he actually finds wei wuxian.

So they probably keep running into each other??? And being VERY pissed off about it. knowing jiang cheng hes gonna yell at lwj for everything Except nightless city, and knowing lan zhan hes gonna reply "mn. btw u killed wei ying" to every single sentence jc says to him.

Yeah look I AM WEAK and also i read way too much foe yay not to want this to turn into Angry Depressed Desperate Making Out, u kno.

so they are both angry, repressed and depressed and well dressed so they have sex about it instead of going to therapy and Somehow it helps. Not because of the Depression-Curing Dick trope which i hate but because they look at each other afterwards and go "uh, fuck, things have gotten REALLY bad if im sleeping with HIM to forget about it"

and then they probably have sex again and again because they are still fucking stupid

other thots i have about jc/lwj include:

- them begrudgingly working together to bring down some wwx impersonator while still hating each others guts

- jc confronting lwj about sizhui and the Dumbest Cover Story Ever

- idk yet im thinking bout this but i Really need a situation where its CRUCIAL that wangji uses musical cultivation but doesnt have his guqin bc some dumb reasons and jc is like, here, catch this and gives him freakin Chenqing and wangji wants to Murder him but plays the damn flute bc otherwise they are gonna die and as jc pointed out sizhui will be left alone in the world

- lwj IS DEFINITELY GONNA FIGURE OUT THE GOLDEN CORE THING come on. wangji is hurt or sth and jc uses spiritual energy to heal him and suddenly wangjiis like WAIT A MINUTE I KNOW THIS SPIRITUAL PATTERN WHATS GOING ON bonus points if hes like. Delirious and starts calling for wei ying and jiang cheng invents 23 new swearwords to let him know what he thinks about him

- jc at some point awkwardly tries to give chenqing to lan wajgji but lwj gives it back to him

yeah and at some point they Stop having sex about it, and they both kind of.... Calm Down, and wangji is still wearing the mourning robes but hes less obnoxious about it, and jiang cheng still whips ppl but now he has a better idea of what hes gonna do if he finds wei wuxian.

and they are... friends.... now? neither of them will say it out loud but like. They Are Friends Now.

and then when they are basically almost done with Unhealthy Grieving Mechanisms wei wuxian actually comes back to life and ????¿??¿??¿¿¿?? Fuck, thinks lan zhan. Fuck, thinks jiang cheng.

......ahem. SORRY, this has gotten slightly out of hand. Im Emotional about it.

theres one fic on ao3 that i really love and which expresses a lot of the things about this that i couldnt express; i will link it in the replies when i find it

-----

TL;DR they are both too angry and have their brains Fucked Up by wwx's death, they are not willing to go to therapy so they should at least kiss about it; also go read the fic i linked in the replies because its excellent

[ffverr]

Now THIS is dedication and I applaud you🙏😌

Here is my version, but little explanations because I'm kinda dead on my feet and delirious. This is based on like, powers, vibes and "values ". So basically if I were to make an actual AU these are the answers.

X-Men and their Percy Jackson cabins:

Scott Summers: Son of Athena

Hank McCoy: Son of Athena

Warren Worthington III: Son of Zeus (flying ...duh)

Jean Grey: Daughter of Aphrodite (I think most of the telepaths are Aphrodite kids and jean also has that war connotation of Aphrodite)

Bobby Drake: Son of Poseidon (listen....the vibes just fit even though he's not entirely water based)

Charles Xavier: Son of Athena

Magneto: Son of Nemesis

Ororo Munroe: Daughter of Zeus

Kitty pryde: Daughter of Hermes (yes she's smart but she's sneaky!!)

Piotr Rasputin: Son of Hephaestus (just the vibes)

Rogue: Daughter of Hades that acts like a daughter of ares (c'mon now...the gal is a brawler)

Kurt Wagner: Son of Hermes

Remy Lebeau: Son of Hermes

Emma frost: Daughter of Aphrodite

Betsy Braddock: Daughter of Aphrodite

Lorna Dane: Daughter of Hades (because of the minerals control)

Forge: THE Son of Hephaestus

Dazzler: Daughter of Apollo of course

Rachel Summers: a complicated one.....

Longshot and Domino: children of Tyche

Rictor: Son of Hades (you see it)

Magik: Daughter of Hecate!!

Dani moonstar: hear me out, Daughter of Aphrodite turned Huntress of Artemis!

Sunspot: Son of Apollo

Cannonball: Son of...Hermes? (The travel and having many siblings fits)

Karma: Daughter of Hypnos

Cypher: Son of Athena

Magma: Daughter of Hephaestus

That's....all I have in me rn😭

Which X-Men in which Percy Jackson cabin....now that's a question.