#I'm drawing more requests but I'll post them tomorrow probably!

[lakesparkles]

Art request: because I'm coming from ig and noticed you have Tumblr 👁️👁️👁️ I headcanon Brett as ace so ace Brett!!!! :D

Hi!! I'm so glad you found me here too!!

I love this one and it's perfect for the last day of Pride Month

Also, perfect timing because I realized I'm ace this week :D so drawing this made me happy!

[pastel-medic]

My name is Xed/Pastel ^v^ (He/Xe/They)! I am 24 years old and any other art accts will likely have the username pastelxapple if you want to find me on other platforms!

Medicsona:

Mercenary Intros

Full Refs:

RED Team:

BLU Team:

Gentlesurgery Ship 💜:

Roulette Class AU:

Blog intro, tags, & rules ⬇️

Ko-fi (sketch comms):

Strawpage:

Tags:

#my art (or #xed art) - My art tag! You can find my artwork directly with this tag 🐍✨

#ask box - All replies to my inbox are tagged with this! It comprises mostly of Q&As of my mercs or other characters, art requests, and other questions!

#roulette class au (or #tf2 roulette class au) - This is the tag for my TF2 AU, the Roulette Class AU! The long and short of it is I swapped all of the mercenaries' classes and there's major differences in the lore.

#quixote - My gentlesurgery ship tag! So not to confuse my ship with RED Medic and VLT Spy from the usual gentlesurgery ship you can find their content separate from that with this tag!

#medic brothers - This tag is specifically for my Medic Brothers (Fritz and Ludwig), so any art and lore for them are tagged with this!

#lore crumbs 🍰 - Small pieces of art and/or posts about my ocs or AUs! 👏🏼✨ I try to tag posts with any info or headcanons about my characters/AUs ^^

#shortcake medic - Tag used for any art I make of my Medicsona, Shortcake Medic! 🍰💖

#tsu art - (or #twin art) - Art tag for my twin's artwork 🦊 (@/hoshi-tsubasa )! I love sharing her work and she deserves more praise for it! ^v^✨ Yes she is a furry so be kind!!!

#moot art 💖 - Art tag for my artist mutuals! I love to share their work so I keep this tagged to their stuff so I can find it again (cuz I'm dumb and don't wanna scroll through reblogs for eternity)

#other artists (or #reblog) - This is the tag I use when I reblog other amazing artists' work!

General Info:

I've technically been in the TF2 community for more than 6 years but I just recently got back into it as of 2024!

Pr0shipper/“problematic” accounts DNI!!! I will block you >:(((

@/hoshi-tsubasa is my twin! Her art is just as incredible so go check her out too if you'd like! She also draws TF2 stuff here and there, plus she has some TF2 merch you can check out on her redbubble!

My main ship is Gentlesurgery, which I draw quite a lot! If that ship is not your cup of tea I kindly suggest to be polite and just move on, harassment and hate will not be tolerated here. I also have other favorite TF2 ships that I don't have listed above in the "Meet The Artist" template that I may draw from time to time! However, please be mindful that I don't really draw HeavyMedic (Red Oktoberfest), MedicScout (Quickfix/Blunt Trauma), or SniperScout (SpeedingBullet) ships, as those are not ships I'm particularly fond of compared to others (MedicScout cuz as a passionate MedicSpy shipper it just feels uncomfy for me) ;3; very sorry! (ALSO ABSOLUTELY NO SPYSCOUT GET OUT OF HERE WITH THAT DISGUSTING STUFF) I do like most TF2 ships tho (I especially love all Spy ships)! 💖

Please be aware I likely will not draw nsfw! There may be suggestive art tho from time to time :3c Some things will be tagged with tw if needed!

Also please do not tag my art with ship tags unless I have them put under my art! I am not comfortable with certain dynamics being labeled as ships, especially if the dynamic is not meant to be in any form romantic/sexual ;;

My hyperfixations do shift so I may hop from one media to another or draw crossovers! I will usually post my other non-TF2 art on my instagram, but all TF2 content will be here!

In addition, please be aware I have ADHD and an alter system (DID), so please note that I may go silent with posts every once in a while. My mental health is not a subject I care to make front and center here, so I prefer any questions or topics of such be kept private! Thank you! 💖

If you can I encourage you to reblog my artwork if you like it! Traction on tumblr is very different than on other social sites like twitter and tiktok, so it would mean a lot to me if you could share my art! 🥺💌 I'm deeply humbled if you enjoy my content, thank you!

Ask Box Rules:

This is a 16+ ask blog, so if you wanna ask me or my version of the mercs something pls feel free! Anon questions will be turned on and off from time to time, but if people completely abuse it or things get out of hand I will shut them off permanently ;3; Also please respect that there's a limit for how much you can ask of me, I won't consistently draw the same thing over and over if it's asked for like more than 3 times (especially by the same person)!

Also, if I do not respond to your ask, it may be because I am either uncomfortable with the ask, am unsure how to respond, or simply do not feel that it is an ask that needs to be posted. I am also NOT an rp blog so I will not respond to rp-like asks. Please respect this, thank you!

Please be respectful! I have major anxiety and communication/socializing is difficult for me, so I may not engage in conversations much ;0; I do get super nervous with parasocial behavior!!! I will do my best to respond to my inbox so please be patient with me 💌

Fanart/Art Rules:

Art Trades are for mutuals only! I rarely do them but think they're fun! Also will only do an art trade if the level of art quality and skill is the similar to my own, thank you! 💖

This isn't entirely an art request blog but depending on the question in the ask box I might doodle something if I'm interested enough! 🍰✨ I don't really draw ship requests often tho! ;3; Might do some that I like but depends!

I don't mind fanart! If you'd like to make fanart for me please tag me so I can see your lovely work! However pls don't draw my ocs or version (aus included) of the mercs inappropriately or in ships I otherwise am not comfortable with, as they already have pre-established relationships ;; Also please do not misinterpret/take creative liberties with my Medicsona (Shortcake Medic) specifically, as he is my personal sona and I am more sensitive about art of him! He is not an oc, he is a sona, so I am uncomfortable with misinterpretations and/or nsfw art of him. If you are unsure about anything please ask me first, I am very firm and particular about him! Thank you!!! 💖🍰

If you want to use my art as a profile pic please ask me first!!! DO NOT REPOST OR EDIT MY ARTWORK!!!!

[romanestuffsposts]

I have a minor heart issue where I get episodes of a high heart rate and chest tightness. Can you possibly write one where their little has an episode like at home or maybe out with them running errands? 🥺💖

Hi there love! 💜

I really hope that you're fine! And I hope it's not too serious. You're so so strong let me tell you ❤️

I hope you like how i turned it, babe.

Enjoy <3

****

Warnings : episode of chest tighening, high heart rate, angst, comfort, pet names, working daddies, tiredness, daddies take care of you, cuddles, reassurance

Pairings : Daddies!Stucky ; Daddy!Bucky x Papa!Steve x Little!Reader

Summary : you're about to prepare you a good lunch when something from earlier is suddenly coming back. Fortunately for you, your Daddies heard you and are here to make sure you're fine, as always.

A/N : I'm so sorry for the late post. I got a bit overwelmed about some things and I didn't had the strengh to keep working on my writing.

I had started writing some request but didn't finished them. But today, I had free times after school and the most important things, I didn't had any homeworks and I have a big week end of four days, starting tomorrow. So i'll have plenty times to rest and get my shit together.

Thank you for your understanding my love, you're all the best! Love you so much

I hope you had a good start to the week and will have wonderful days!

Big kisses,

Romane

Second A/N : i don’t know if how I wrote it in exact same way you have it- probably not but I hope that’s okay!

****

You're comfortably laying on the couch watching your favorite show. You're laying in here since the moment you woke up, you went to say good morning to your Daddies in their office right after you opened an eye.

They have a lot of work and they told you yesterday that they'll be working almost all day so, before jumping on the couch to do nothing you went to them a little good morning.

You could say they were very busy with work so you didn't stay for too long in their office. They kissed you good mornings and asked you if you had a good sleep but nothing more. You didn’t want to be a burden so you quickly excused yourself and left.

Now you're laying on the couch laughing your ass off as your show plays on the screen. But unfortunately for you, its the end of the show so now you don't know what to watch.

You grab the remote and put something else. You don't know what it is, you never heard the name of this movie nor heard about it but that's the first thing you found so you decide to let it there.

As you lie back on the couch, a loud siren suddenly yell from outside making you flinch hard. You feel your heartbeat going faster for a moment as you look at the window where the sound came from. The jump caused you to be on a sitting position now.

You feel your breathing going back to normal and the pain you felt in your chest due to the fear is going away by it's own. You slowly lie back down on the couch, taking some breath to be sure you're fully calm now.

You put your attention back on the screen and the incident is now completly forget as you're mind focus on the tv.

The movie isn’t that bad but you’re still happy when the screen goes black, announcing the end. You get up from the couch and make your way toward the kitchen to grab something to eat since it’s now lunch time. You hesitate at going in your daddies’s office to give them their lunch, maybe they’re hungry too, but you decide to not disturbed them. The last thing you want is to make them grumpy. They’re grown men after all, they can go eat by themselves when they’re feeling hungry.

You grab the bread and start making a little meal while thinking about what you’re gonna do after. Maybe watching another movie ? Or probably not, you already watch a lot of tv and you usually get a headache if you overdo screen time. But drawing sounds good.

You grab the knife and start cutting your piece of bread in two pieces when you feel something weird in your chest. It feels like what happened earlier in the day. The same weird thing you felt earlier in the day

You let go of the knife you were holding causing it to fall on the ground. Your daddies’s attention turn toward the baby monitor in their office who is relied to the one in the living room and kitchen. Since this area of the house is relied to each other

You start panicking and take a hold of the island counter, your chest start to tighten and you feel your chest getting heavier and heavier as if all the weight of the world were sitting and punching your chest.

What is happening ? You were fine two seconds before that. You turn to look at the stairs and decide to go upstairs. Maybe laying in your bed is the best idea, right now.

It’s probably because of the screen, you thought, but when you start to walk, you immediately feel the need to sit down. You can’t bear all the pain and all the uncomfortable feelings you feel inside of you. You let yourself go and drop on your knees in the middle of the kitchen floor.

Bucky’s attention is still glued to the baby monitor while Steve is getting back to work. He keeps telling Bucky to calm down and that you probably just dropped a spoon or a knife you were using but something tells him to stay focus on it a little bit longer and Bucky’s instinct never failed him so this time, just like any others, he listen to it

When he hears you whining and your breath starting to get heavier and shorter, he stands up and walks toward the little things beside their desks. Steve almost rolls his eyes because he didn’t heard what his husband had. He just thinks he’s overreacting because you’re alone downstairs and it doesn’t happen every times.

He suddenly hears you falling and he almost drops the thing in his hand as he lets go of everything and decides to make a quick run to you. He opens the door in one quick movement and it’s like in almost two steps, he’s beside you.

You didn’t know you made that much noise until you see your Daddy running down the stairs and to you. He grabs your face with his hands and tilts it toward his, you sees his lips moving but the only thing you can understand is the panic and the concern in your Daddy’s face.

‘’Little one ?’´ he asks looking into your wide eyes ‘’can you hear me ? Where does it hurt ?’’ He asks but the look on your face tells him that you didn’t heard anything.

He stands up and easily lifts you up, he pulls you closer to him and you wrap your legs around his waist. With one hand, he assures your safety in his arms while with the other, he looks through the kitchen for your medication.

He exhales loudly when he finally find it and analyse it. He sighs a second time but a lot less happy than the first time as he puts the medication on the counter. He rubs your back slowly, he can almost feel your heart beating faster and faster more the seconds pass. ‘’It’s okay, babygirl. You’ll be fine, everything is okay’’ before reassures you, not knowing if your attention is on him again or still away.

‘’I’ll rest you on the counter island a little bit and then you’ll come back in my arms. Are you okay with that ?’’ He gently asks, hid lips against your ear as a small whisper comes out. You whine and shake your head, holding him tighter than before with the little strength left in you.

‘okay, beautiful. We’ll wait a little bit more’’ just as he said that, a blond figure appears from the stairs. Steve looks up and frowns when he sees the scenes before him ‘’what happened ?’’ He asks but gets a silence answer from Bucky.

Your Daddy turns his attention back to you ‘’how do you feel about sitting down for a bit ? I’ll be right in front of you, you can hold my hand the whole time so you can be sure I wonky go anywhere’’ he quietly asks and waits for you to answer.

You think about it and slowly nod your head. He smiles and kisses your temple. He walks toward the counter and wait until it touch your ass, letting you know that it’s the time to let go ‘’I’ll help you sit down. Firstly I’ll unwrap your legs and when I’m sure that you’re ready, I’ll unwrap your arms’’ he tells you so you’re ready and knows what will happen.

You whine but nod your head. He lifts your butt and rests it on the counter, he slides his hands along your legs who are around him and gently unlocks your feet. He brings your legs against the counter before letting go of your toes. He then slides his hands on your arms until it reach your hands behind his neck. He squeezes your hands before unlocking them too. He kisses each one of them and rests them against your laps. Just like he promised, he keeps a hand in yours and turns around to find Steve already walking to him with a glass of water.

Even if Steve weren’t here since the beginning of what happened, he still knows what to do for you and what to do for helping Bucky.

‘’Thank you, Stevie’’ Bucky says, grabbing the glass before turning around to look at you ‘’did you took these this morning ?’’ He asks showing you the medications. You look at it and shake your head. Every effort is hard to make, even one simple movement such as moving your head or your body away from your Daddy

Your Papa stands behind you and wraps his arms around your waist, he gently rests his chin on your shoulder, his hands gently stroking your belly just like you love it. It’s something who calm you and make you sleepy and your Daddies know that. They help you getting on a deep sleep at night by doing that when you can’t sleep. But this time, it’s to calm your little heart and to show you that he’s here with you and for you.

Your Daddies look at each other after you shook your head and sigh once again ‘’you know what is it for ?’’ Your Papa asks, turning his gaze to you and to the pills on front of you. You shake your head again. Why does they keep asking you question ? You just want to rest.

‘’Baby, look at me’’ your Daddy’s voice get your attention back to him ‘’those ugly things’’ he says showing you the pills with a grimace ‘’are for your own good, baby’’ he says tilting his head. ‘’it’s for your little heart, and we need you to take it because you are our heart and we need you to be okay because we love you. You need your heart to be in a good shape just as much as we need you to be inn a good shape. Do you understand us ?"

You nod your head telling him you understood even though you didn't really understood. Your Daddy looks at your Papa behind you and they both arch an eyebrow "are you sure you really understood, sweetie ?" your Papa asks, his breath lightly tickling your neck. You nod your head again. You're too tired to tell them you didn't understood and having to wait for them to expalin all over again. You don't have the strengh, right now.

Your Daddy chuckles, he knows what you're doing and decides to let it aside today because it's not the time. You're not focus enough to remember what they're saying even if it's important.

"Just take one now. You have to take it every morning after you woke up" he says giving you the pill and the glass of water. You cring and shake your head. It's bad enough that you have to take it every morning but he want to give one to you now ? In the early afternoon ? It's not morning.

"baby it's really important. Take it." he orders putting the pill in your mouth. You grimace and whine looking one last time at your Daddy for mercy, but the look on his face clearly say that every wars you're ready to take against him is a losing battle. Sighing you allow him to bring the cup of water to your mouth and to take a big sip.

You don't swallow it right away because it's not a small pill so you're scared but with the praises and the words of your Daddies are helping you a lot. It help so much that you finally swallow the pill causing your Daddies to yell their proudness at you. "You did it! we're so proud of you, beautiful" your Daddy says with stars in his eyes

"You're so strong! How did you do ? You'll have to teach me because i'm not as strong as you for taking pills" Your Papa says with a shocked face before winking at you.

You blush and look down at your laps, fidgeting with your fingers. They chuckle and you feel your Papa removing his arms from around you making you whine. It felt so good, his arms around you, the warm of his body against yours, the comfort and reassurance he can give you without actually speaking.

Those feelings are quickly replaced by your Papa's arms again as he lifts you up from the counter after he walked around it to stand in front of you. He leaves the kitchen with your Daddy on his heels and starts to walks up the stairs.

You look at your Daddy who shifts his gaze to you when he feels your eyes on him. He smiles brightly at you and brings his hand to your foot. He hold your toes all the way to their bedroom for a good nap time. You giggle at him because h can't stop making funny face to you to high up the mood.

Your Daddy lets go of you when you reach the bed and your Papa gently rests you down in it. Since you were still in your pyjama, you can immediately slide under the cover and wait for the warmth of your Daddies.

While one of your Daddies went to use the bathroom, the other went to turn off the light of the bedroom and light up the night light before crowling in bed beside you. You immediately snuggle closer to him and sigh in contentement when your favorites feelings come back with his arms around you. You close your eyes and wait for your Daddy to come back from the bathroom to snuggle with you too

You need it but you know that they need it too. They had a lot of work the last few days and really deserve to rest.

You smile when two others arms come around you and you don't need anything more to feel ready to fall asleep and rest.

Now that your heart isn't hurting anymore feel good, a whole lot better. It was scary, really scary but it helped you a lot that your Daddies were there for you, they didn't let you alone, they didn't let you down. They accompanied you to the end and always will.

That's something you're positive about. It took a long time to find someone who'll carry you up to the sky and above the cliuds in everything you want to do, even if it seems like a dumb thing, you needed someone like that. And you found it, you not only found someone, you found two people, two gorgious men who'll do anything to see you fly on your own.

"good nap, baby girl" your Daddy kisses the bak of your neck "you handled things so good, just like a big girl. Don't ever forget how proud we are"

"we love you, always and forever"

[bluravenite]

Also haha update on content?? Yeah well...no content

Today i bring you nothing, tomorrow?? Nothing, in a week??? Probably still nothing...

I do want to make art again and post more, but with school stress and several anon dramas i am not in a headspace where i wanna interact much with the fandom on Tumblr aside from liking or reblogging mutuals posts.

Mainly writing this to let anyone who had suggestions/requests in my asks that this doesn't mean I'll never write or draw your asks. Some of them are already plotted/drafted and have started sketching. It just means I'm not going to be posting for a while.

Hopefully soon enough I'll feel better to continue working on them, but i think i need to give myself s break and focus on other things before putting out content. At least until it feels safe to return.

Thank you all so much for supporting me and my art, and for being so nice and encouraging all the time!!

[kinaesthetiqueer]

About Me

My AO3

I'm Kina (kinaesthetic/kinaesthetique)! I write about girls falling in love and kissing and examining what it means to be human or otherwise. I also like to break my toys sometimes, but I know how to fix them.

I do not take requests, or commissions, but most importantly, I do not take creative direction for my fics.

I'm notorious for writing characters in ways that make me happy. :) This tends to manifest with explorations on gender and neurodivergence or odd/alternate takes on canon. That's okay if it's not for you.

I would personally prefer to NOT have my fics placed in public ranked bookmark collections, even if the list is 5/5 stars or whatever. Thank you!

Now that's out of the way, I love in-universe plots with changes to canon, supernatural additions, supernatural/non-human AUs, and wingsssss! Sometimes I draw for my fics and other times I seek commissions. I'll occasionally post art here as well.

This blog is mostly for posting in-progress snippets, working through fic logistics, answering questions, and crying/yelling about headcanons. I reblog art and other fandom stuff to my main unless it was gifted to me. I do not post what my main is publically for Reasons™, but if you keep an eye on your notifs, you'll probably find me.

I write slowly but I don't give up or abandon. Longest wait for an update was 4 years on the dot. ┐⁠(⁠´⁠д⁠`⁠)⁠┌ I have a full time job, a full time academic career, a house, and three cats. I write whenever I get the energy and the time. :') I'm always grateful for the patience of my readers, so thank you whether you've been here since 2013, 2017, 2020, or yesterday. 💛

Currently Active Fandoms

RWBY

Overwatch

Permanent Rotating-In-Mind Characters

Nora Valkyrie

Weiss Schnee

Satya "Symmetra" Vaswani

Penny Polendina

Pyrrha Nikos

Ruby Rose

Blake Belladonna

Fox Alistair

I only really have one "signature" ship and that is sympharmercy. I'll write whatever looks cute, usually sapphic rarepairs. At the moment, I flip between fixating on Nordic Winter and Valkos.

Acronyms and Tags Below

Incomplete List of Acronyms I Use

Take to the Skies - TTTS/TttS

Sent from Valhalla - SFV

All the Downy Days - AtDD

Toward Hidden Horizons - THH

her demons, their witch - HDTW

lightning always strikes twice - LAST

six ways from sunday - 6ways

all the good girls go to hell - good girls

Set Upon Her Mountain - SUHM

sympharmercy - SPM

her pulse in my throat/SnowStorm Vampire AU - ssvau

Pillar of Ashes (defunct title)/ 'on the run from tomorrow' - poa! jnpr

Current Blog Tags

#kina rambles - anything that doesn't include a literal snippet of fic. may eventually diverge into multiple tags

#kina writes + #snippets - includes an actual snippet of a WIP

#kina draws - art and art wips; scarce due to a fraught relationship with publically posting art

#krwbyverse - (kina's rwby universe) headcanons, technical details, things i refuse to accept as canon/not canon, and more!

#kina updates - fic update has been posted to ao3/ delay due to Horrors

#kina found dead in a glue trap [this post] - writing memes that come for my entire life

#mermaid valkos au - 'between the sunshine and the sea' series tag; semi in-universe au in which pyrrha is a surfer and nora is a mermaid. sequels in progress.

#snowstorm vampire au - an in-universe nora/weiss series in which weiss get unwittingly turned into a vampire; tentatively leaning toward pyrrha/nora/weiss

#poa! jnpr - post v3 finale, missing time fic that heavily focuses on jnr grieving in the most reckless way they can manage without glynda kicking their asses

#(n)ever after au - v8 finale au in which nora, emerald, ren, oscar and ruby (nero+r aka the n in (n)ever after) fall instead of rwby+j. a fun speculative au that hurts everyone so so bad including myself. mostly a thought experiment.

[cookinguptales]

Okay so. I am fed, I am watered, I went on a nice walk for my mental and physical health (/nandor) and I managed to find both decks!

Since I dug them both out, I'll give people the opportunity to choose between The Mushroom Hunter's Tarot and The Pulp Tarot tonight.

They're both lovely decks that I really enjoy, so this should be fun.

Anyway, this is how we do things here.

If you'd like a simple three-card reading, please send me an ask that I can answer publicly, ask for a reading, and specify which deck you'd like. If you'd like to be anonymous, that's fine. That said, if you are anonymous, maybe put some emojis or something in your ask so you can tell that it's yours. Then... just be patient. lmao

This used to be a small little fun thing where I'd get just like 4-5 requests, but these days I tend to get more like 20-30. That's fine and fun and I love you all, but that does mean I need to pace myself a bit more so I don't make myself sick. (Chronic illness living, y'all.)

So here are some answers to questions/concerns I've gotten the last few times:

You haven't gotten to me yet. :(

I will! I get a lot of requests these days and I do my best to get through them all. This time I will admit that I'm on more of a time crunch than usual; I will do my best to get through everyone who sends me a request, but if I can't get through them all before my little break ends tomorrow, then I'll do one again in September once I'm home in Philly. Either way, please be patient with me!

It's been a long time since you posted a reading. Are you done?

I'll be done sometime tomorrow, depending on when my parents get home. (I'm visiting California rn.) If there's a big gap between readings, it probably means that I took a break to eat dinner or watch youtube or play Stardew Valley or something. Or I just fell asleep. I have several chronic illnesses, so I need to be careful to pace myself.

Besides, I like to take my time with each reading, so it may take me 20-45 minutes to shuffle, draw, photograph, read, and type up a response anyway. Everyone gets attention tonight, lmao.

Do these cost anything?

No, I don't charge for tarot readings. This is all for fun. If you'd like to do something in return, maybe just pay it forward by doing something nice for someone in your life in the upcoming days. Just something small. If you'd really like to donate to the new tarot deck fund (lmao) I do have a ko-fi. That said, again, really do not feel obligated. I only have this here because people ask.

Are you psychic? Will this tell the future?

No, I'm not psychic. I'm an academic. We're just having fun here.

Can I ask a specific question?

Well, again. I am not psychic and cannot tell the future. If you ask me something like "what will happen if I [x]" or "what should I do with [y]" then I cannot help you. But if you want me to focus my reading on a particular topic or something, I can do my best.

What's the background?

Usually I just use pajamas or a cute skirt or something, whatever has a nice pattern. (Sorry to ruin the magic.) But this time it's a blanket my mother made. :)

I don't know much about tarot. Can you teach me?

I'm happy to answer specific questions, but fully teaching someone about tarot cards, their history, and how to use them would take a while. If there's a lot of desire, maybe I'll make a series of posts or something? But I don't really have time to go through it all tonight!

Can I choose one of your other decks?

Not this time. I'm on vacation, so I don't have that many with me.

"If you're not too busy..." "If you don't mind..." "If there aren't too many requests..." "If it's okay..."

Friends, I do this because I think it's fun. I enjoy doing it. Whoever is reading this right now, you are just as entitled to my time and effort as anyone else in my inbox. You are not taking up any time that I am not freely offering. Please don't put yourself down in your request or act like you're an imposition. I will do this as long as I am having fun, and when I am tired, I will stop. Don't be so down on yourself! We're all having fun here!

I'm not having fun. I don't like tarot/you're cluttering my dash/I don't like your readings/this is dumb.

Well, you're in luck! I'm always careful to tag these so you can block them if you so choose. Please just block "#tarot shenanigans" and have a nice weekend.

okay now you can send me requests

[1-tiger-every-day]

We are almost 3/4 of the way through the year, and... frankly I didn't know if I would make it this far. Probably, if you'd asked me in January if I guessed I'd still be doing this in late September, I would have told you no -- probably predicting I'd fall off the wagon sometime in March. Normally I suck at routines, consistency, and regularly creating without getting sucked into an art block or paralysed with indecision between multiple projects! I've never been able to run a consistent art blog on tumblr or anywhere else -- before long, life would get in the way, and the thing would end up gathering virtual dust and taunting me with its emptiness.

I wanted to reflect on a couple of the factors I think have helped me keep going this time, when previous projects have fallen by the wayside.

1. Clearly defined goal with obvious limitations. The instruction is simple: make one tiger, every day. It doesn't matter how good the tiger is. It doesn't matter if it took ten seconds or two hours. It just has to exist. And because that goal is quite achieveable, it creates a positive feedback loop that means drawing tigers - oh, my! - doesn't feel so scary after a while.

2. On a related topic: it's also a free enough prompt that I have space to play around every day, finding new and creative ways to fulfil the criteria. I can make a tiger sculpture. Once I made a tiger quiz. I made a 3D sculpt of a tiger in Blender that was an affront to God. I can try out new media, materials, and programs. And if it doesn't work out, oh well! There's always tomorrow.

3. Tiger intern T: I honestly think that this blog might have foundered over the summer if it weren't for T. When I'm struggling with hand pain, fatigue, illness or Just Not Wanting To Draw A Fucking Tiger Today, he steps in and picks up the slack. I really feel grateful and im happy to share this project with someone. I'll still feel just as much of an achievement at the end of the year, but better because the celebration will be shared 😊

4. Gifting tigers: whether it's little presents for friends or fulfilling requests from strangers in my askbox (provided they ask nicely😅), I love to make my tigers for other people, or even for myself. It's become a nice way of keeping a diary of special days in my year, from birthdays, pride, and holidays to more poignant occasions. Which brings me to my last point...

5. Not to be cheesy, but... YOU! I read every single tag, ask and comment that I get on these tigers. I can't believe there are 1100+ people following this little blog now, and especially those of you who regularly leave nice tags or replies: just know that you make my day every time, and I would definitely have given up posting my shitty tigers into the void by now if it wasn't for you. THANK YOU 🐯(P.s. I know I have an unanswered ask in my askbox right now, to the asker, I loved your question and I promise I'll reply asap!!! I have not forgotten you! 🧡!)

6 (bonus): other artists inspired by the form of the tiger, including illustrators, poets, sculptors, painters... i try to reblog a handful of my favourites, so you can all enjoy them as well!

[thepokyone]

In Defense of Honor

Pairing: Loki x fem!Reader (ft. Thor, Clint, Natasha, and Tony)

Warnings: mostly fluff, use of wh*re

Words: 1.3k

A/N: Hello, and welcome to the magical world of "post-2012 Avengers + Loki all live in the tower together". I want to live in this reality. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this anon request!

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Despite Loki's continued assurances that the team would love you, you sounded worried.

"Absolutely certain," Loki said, squeezing your hand. "If you'd prefer, we can just say hello to Thor before making our escape and you can meet the rest in the morning."

"I don't know," you said dubiously, clearly rethinking the entire thing. "I mean, it's the Avengers. It's no big deal when it's just you, or Thor, but this is Captain America, Iron Man, Hawkeye!"

"Not sure I like what you're implying, darling," Loki said breezily, laughing when you elbowed him lightly in the side. "Trust me, hmm? The only one disliked there will be me."

You let out a loud sigh. "Okay. We can say hello, but then we're watching movies as promised."

"Seems a fair deal to me," Loki said. It was only when the two of you were in the elevator that he spoke again. "I think I must mention that the Avengers, outside of Thor of course, do not know that you exist. I kept it that way for your privacy, considering Stark's tendencies, but as a result…" he waved his hands around. "They will be surprised."

"I think I prefer that," you said thoughtfully, much to Loki's relief. "And I appreciate you trying to protect my privacy. That's really sweet of you."

"I would do more for less, darling," he said, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. The elevator chimed softly as it stopped and your grip around his hand tightened as the door slid open.

"Brother! Y/N!" Thor bellowed, greeting both of you with a large smile. "I saw you standing outside. Almost flew you up myself, if you had lingered any longer."

"Yes, how fortunate for all involved that the elevator was available," Loki drawled, a fond smile tugging at the corners of his mouth even as he rolled his eyes.

Thor laughed. "You think he would have stabbed me, Y/N?"

"Probably," you said, laughing too. You had always said that Thor's booming laughter was infectious. Thor's good humor meant he was always a draw for people and you were no different, though Loki would always boast that he was your favorite. You didn't kiss Thor, after all (no matter that Loki would kill his brother for such an offense, not that Thor would ever try such a thing).

"Who's this?" Natasha asked. Clint was shortly behind her, eating an apple.

"This is Y/N," Loki said. "Y/N, this is-"

"The Black Widow," you said, looking a little starstruck. You left his side to shake her hand. "It's so nice to meet you."

"You too," Natasha said, looking faintly confused by the whole exchange and the smile on Loki's face. "Just Natasha is fine."

"Cool," you said, nodding.

"I'm Clint," said the famous archer, shaking your hand too. "You and Loki, huh?"

"Yeah, over six months now," you said.

"Huh." Clint's eyes flicked back and forth between the two of you and he nodded once. "Huh."

"Anyway," Loki interjected, trying to beat the awkward silence that seemed dangerously close to settling over the group, "where are the others?"

"Tony's out, Steve is in the gym, and Bruce is in the lab," Natasha said. "I wouldn't expect to see any of them for a while."

"We have movie plans, so that works out," Loki said smoothly. "Y/N?"

"Right! It was nice to meet you guys. Thor, I'll see you later. Are you still good for game night tomorrow?"

"I'll be there," Thor said, waving as Loki tugged you down the hall.

"My room is up here, where I can be monitored." Loki said the word with distaste. "Though in all fairness, I did attempt to kill them."

"There is that small detail," you said with a giggle, dissolving into full-blown laugher as his fingers danced along your side. "No- Loki, no!"

You wriggled out of his grip as he opened his door, laughing and ducking under his arm as he kicked the door shut. He caught you again but didn't tickle you, instead just wrapping you in his arms as you took in the living quarters he often abandoned in favor of your own.

"It's cozy," you said. It was lots of warm colors, dark greens and browns and golds, and he had left the gas fireplace on to warm it to a habitable temperature.

"I'm glad you think so," Loki said, pleased. "What would you like to watch?"

By the time your favorite movie had ended (one he had seen several times, though he never once complained), it was after dark.

"I should go," you said.

His arm tightened around you. "Don't be ridiculous, darling, you're staying here tonight."

"Are you sure?" you asked.

"Of course I am," he said, his lips brushing your cheek. "I want you to stay."

"I want to stay, too," you said, and the matter was settled.

The two of you had breakfast in the common area the next morning. You were wearing your pants but one of Loki's shirts, something he was more than delighted about.

"How was the movie?" Thor joined the two of you halfway through breakfast, large waffle in hand.

"Good," you said, wiping your hands with your napkin as you finished. "I think Loki is getting sick of it, though he would never say anything."

"Darling, any time with you is time well spent," Loki said. "But Midgard does have many movies available, to my understanding."

You laughed. "See?"

"You should attend one of our movie nights. Loki never does, as he prefers to sulk in his room." Thor ignored Loki's indignant sputtering. "But it is quite fun, if you're not a hermit!"

"I'd like to think I'm not," you said, laughing harder at Loki's offended expression. "It could be fun."

"I'll consider it," Loki said, though he knew as well as you that was as good as a yes. He was never particularly good at saying "no" where you were involved.

"Heard Loki brought a girl," Tony Stark called as he walked into the room. Natasha, who was pouring herself a glass of milk, rolled her eyes.

"Stark," Loki said in warning. It was hard to say what would come out of Tony Stark's mouth, and in Loki's opinion, he became less sensical the more he spoke.

"Please, Reindeer Games, you know I don't care who you bring in here, as long as they're gone in time for mission prep. We all need a whore to fulfill our needs from time to time, though I didn't think you were the type."

You were incredibly offended, but not quite hurt, gaping at the billionaire in speechless silence.

"Now you've done it, Stark," Thor said, not attempting to stop Loki as he stood, eyes burning with rage.

"If you ever," Loki said, crossing the distance between him and Stark in several long paces and sending him stumbling back into the wall, "speak of Y/N like that again, I will kill you." Frost spread from where Loki's finger pressed against the arc reactor, the light blinking precariously. "Do you understand?"

"Yes," Tony said, relaxing only when Loki walked back to you, his eyes cold as chips of ice.

Thor looked suitably amused, reaching across to smack Loki's shoulder when he took his seat. "No stabbing! Really, brother, well done."

Loki ignored him. "Alright, darling?"

"Takes more than that to wound me," you said, reaching out to squeeze his hand. "I hardly think that reaction was necessary."

He lifted your hand to kiss your knuckles. "I was defending your honor. It was quite necessary."

"If you say so," you said, rolling your eyes. Tony apologized later, ignoring Loki's critical expression, and invited you to visit whenever you liked.

"See?" You asked Loki. "It all turned out alright in the end."

"All thanks to me, I think," he said, stealing a kiss.

You smacked his chest. "You are so full of it!"

"You love it."

"You're right," you agreed. You had never seen him so smug.

[obislittleone]

Intelligent Insanity

4/?

Jerome Valeksa x Reader

Okay so usually I rotate the chapters I write and post everyday between this series and the bruce one, but I have a request to fill, so after tomorrow I will actually be writing the request instead of another chapter for this... but then I'll be right back to it the next day don't worry.

Series Summary: Two lives can start very differently, but it's never the beginning that makes the story. It's the the journey the lives take that eventually bring them down the same path.

Chapter Warnings: mentions of murder, fluff

I'd heard a buzz of rumors lately from around the hallways, and inside the cafeteria during lunch and dinner time. I didn't anymore attend breakfast, because I would much rather sleep more. I have a tendency to stay up into the night, trying to practice talking so that others can hear me, but alas, no one usually does when I try it out in the light of day. Yesterday's lunch was when I heard about getting a new inmate. I didn't catch the name, or the crime, but I did recall hearing about the time of arrival, which was today.

I was sat in the common room, my hands spelling about a hundred different words every few minutes. I watched through the wire fencing along the wall of the room, seeing them bring in a boy. He was innocent looking, and about my age, too. Maybe he was like me.

I waited for them to bring him in here, which took several minutes given the time they probably made him change into one of these awful uniform jumpsuits. When I heard them unlock the gate, my gaze snapped from the floor to where he was standing. He'd locked eyes with me for a split second, then journeyed further into the room.

"Fresh meat." One of the inmates said... the rich one, I think. He wasn't all that threatening, but still gave me the creeps.

The boy stopped in his tracks when he reached the tables everyone was sitting at. He crossed his arms and shook his head, confidently turning and strolling towards my table with a look of determination.

"I think I'll sit here." He said, pulling out the chair right across from me and sitting down. He leaned both elbows onto the table and rested his head on his hands.

I smiled genuinely at him. At first glance, he was attractive, with thick red hair and blue grey eyes. He had several freckles marking his pale skin, and it gave him a charming and boyish look.

"So... what do they call you, pretty girl?" He smirked slightly, but the tilt in his head made his question seem sweet and innocent.

I opened my mouth to speak but then an inmate from across the room piped up to the kid across from me.

"Hey genius, just a heads up, fidget doesn't speak." He got the red headed boy's attention and nodded to me when he said the word fidget, then he dropped his head back to whatever strange game he was playing with the other men at his table.

The boy turned back to me and I feared that with him having known, he would leave and walk away like everyone else did. He furrowed his brow and let his lips draw into a thin line. He leaned closer and squinted at me before sitting back in his seat.

"Well, I suppose I'll have to introduce myself first then, won't I?" He paused, shrugging his shoulders like a child would do. "I'm Jerome."

He held his hand out to shake, and with a smile, I took it, opening my mouth to speak again.

"I'm Y/n." I said with a low scratchy voice.

He furrowed his brows yet again, and leaned in close like he did before. I was confused until I heard his reply.

"I thought they said you couldn't talk?"

In that moment my eyes went wide and I'd not been able to stop a wide smile from appearing on my face.

"You-" I chuckled a little having made the realization. "You can hear me?"

"I can, yeah. I wonder why they can't..." he pulled his hand back from mine and let it rest by his side while he scanned the room, glancing over at the other crazies.

"Maybe we're not as crazy as they are." I suggested, but he looked back and shook his head.

"Wouldn't be too sure about that..." he said as if he believed himself to be like the others. Surely someone so gentle and innocent couldn't be like them. He seemed like an angel.

"What are you in for?" I asked with a slight rift in my tone. My voice did feel kind of strange, like I hadn't used it in forever, though I did, everyday.

"Chopped my mom up with an axe." He said without even a second thought. I was a little surprised by his confession, though I hadn't heard the whole story yet...

"Did she... hurt you?" They weren't the exact words I was thinking of, but they would suffice.

"Just about a billion times... but who's counting?" He joked, revealing a light hearted and startling laugh. It was fantastic, and I wanted to hear it again. One time hearing it and I was already addicted.

"So it wasn't really murder, then? It was self defense." I tried to offer a better seeming impression of his outcome.

"No, it was murder..." he said, leaning back on the table and looking up at me while he rested his head on his hands which were flat against the cold metal surface. "You know, you don't seem crazy..."

"Maybe not actually crazy, but in the eyes of the law, pushing my uncle off a thirteen story building wasn't exactly an act of sanity." I said, leaning forward to meet his eyeline as he smiled in repsonse to my words.

"What'd he do?" He wanted to know all the dirty details, thinking it was of malicious intent.

"He tried to get into my pants... several times. He came at me on the roof one day so I pushed him." I said flatly, as if it wasn't one of the most traumatic experiences of my life. To be quite honest, speaking about it now was not as bad as I thought it might be.

"Oh..." He did his gentle head tilt again, and seemed to have let the mood be dampened, even though just a minute ago he was talking about how his mother was chopped to bits by his hands and an axe.

"Yeah... after that everyone seemed to not be able to hear me. Maybe I'm crazy after all, because I've been talking all this time." I said, shruggung my shoulder and leaning back to my chair.

Jerome puzzled for a minute, using his brain to put some pieces together. He might be out of his right mind, but his intelligence was sharp as a knife.

"Why do they call you fidget?"

I heaved a sigh and held up my hand other hand, which had been under the table till now, demonstrating why that very fact was.

"I fingerspell all my words as I say them. I'm not sure why, but I suppose that's what got me my nickname." I set my crazy right hand back at my side, and looked back to see the boy was slightly amazed.

"Interesting." He held a look of bewilderment upon himself as he sat quietly for a few moments. I wondered what he was thinking, for the gears in his head were so obviously turning. He looked me up and down one more time before speaking again. "Alright, I've decided."

"Decided what?" I curiously raised my brows and waited for an answer.

"You don't look like you've got any friends in this joint, and seeing as though I just got here, I don't either." He explained bluntly, using theatrical facial expressions and hand gestures. "So I decided, we'll stick to each other while we do our time."

I lit up with a bright smile, nodding my head along in agreement of his decision.

"Seems logical."

Tags are open!

@gabile18

[justrandomselfships]

Little steps- my self insert Fic (S/I POV) with a bunch of silly illustrations! Oh did I mention that this involves Kaeya? Well he's the main focus here even though Lisa is mentioned shit ton of times! Might write something for her focus too someday.

I finished it ages ago but I was afraid to post it- I'm not anymore and also✨ it's my birthday ✨

~~

Ever since I joined the knights I decided to write in a diary, it helped me keep track of time. Lisa told me that it can help me in various ways, like for example remembering names of the other knights, or checking my personal progress. Now that I think about it, it was long since I checked my old entries. Nothing interesting happened today anyway so I might as well read some. I don't really remember anything that was going on when I started so I suppose I could refresh my memory.

Today Lisa wanted to introduce me to someone- she probably wanted to help me by looking for training partner for me, however I had to refuse. You probably remember why was that, I got scared of meeting someone new again. I couldn't get that mess on her shoulders when she has so much to do as it is! And there was no way I'd meet them alone it'd be too akward for both of us!

I remember the exact moment I tried to come up with an excuse for future me... It kinda made me giggle how stupid I am sometimes, but let's look at something else...

I've never felt as lonely as I do now, I don’t even know why. I don’t miss anyone nor I ever craved any interactions... But to make that feeling go away I thought about talking to Amber but when I left the house she was talking to Noelle and I got scared to approach them... Instead I decided to sketch something and stay inside for the rest of the day.

I immediately looked at my sketchbook, I don't even have to look inside, I was drawing what's outside my window like always. Maybe I'll find some better memory if I keep looking?

During my patrol I got a bit lost... It was scary... But I wasn't alone, an Adventurer found me... However he got lost too. It was a bit unlucky day since I picked the wrong maps, we also got attacked a few times by monsters. I kinda feel bad for him since he tried his best to cheer me up but I stayed silent. It should've been other way around a knight shouldn't le

Bennett! How could I forget his name when I was writing this? He was such a sweetheart I obviously had to mess it up and make him feel uncomfortable... But I did make up for it! Maybe I'll finally read something positive? I somehow can't remember how exactly that went... Or if I was daydreaming about apologizing?

I decided to bake something for Bennett as thank you and apology for acting so cold towards him. But I had no idea on how to find him... Or what to say... So after thinking for few minutes I decided to talk to Katherine and ask her to give it to him. After "talking" to her I locked myself in my room out of embarrassment, I messed up again. I just said "Bennett" placed my pastries and left. Now I probably won't be able to face her for at LEAST two months.

I cringe at the memory... Gosh now this will keep me up at night for sure... I finally forgot about it and now it'll haunt me.

Wait a second... Did I really not made any progress at all!? I was trying so hard to socialize with others and get out more but I seem to still not be able to do it right. No, it's impossible. I'm good friends with Lisa! So I definitely made any progress... Or is she just so easy to talk to? Time to take a final look at something recent for a change...

Capitan Kaeya Alberich wanted to talk to me outside work... It might not sound like a big deal but somehow I just froze... I wasn't able to respond properly and he probably guessed what I was going to say, not that he ever can't do that... I might be too predictable. Either way I feel bad, my behavior was really disrespectful and I knew better than that to just ignore someone like him. I still have much to learn and I'll need to properly apologize for staying silent.

I only ever failed... There is no mistaking it. Great way to note down progress huh? Too bad there is none.

Think, what do I need to do to finally do better? I am the problem for sure but what do I really need to change? Maybe I should just start observing how others act... After all I never bothered to do that. It might help in one way or another...

Obviously there's only one place where there is a lot of people and I won't look like a total creep if I'll just listen in the conversations and look at random people... It's no other than the tavern. I'm scared to go there alone... But I don't have to!

Lisa would be willing to go right?... Then again I rely on her a bit too much and going out like this could be an opportunity to break the ice with someone else...

Jean is always busy, Amber will be way too distracting and we might end up somewhere else, Eula is too scary, Venti... I don't even know why I'm considering him.

Maybe that offer from capitan Kaeya still stands? It's from bearly 2 weeks ago so maybe if I get lucky and he happens to still be interested, I can actually go...

What am I even thinking!? I didn't even apologize for the last time... But being around so many drunk people is terrifying... However I can't bet on the fact that he won't drink too much... On the other hand he seems to handle people and I'll definitely learn something.

Screw it. It might be scary but I need to do it. Tomorrow I'll ask him! That's for sure! He's the most respectable and trustworthy person who isn't always busy and will not distract me.

~⏳

I'm scared to do it but I have to! I need to... Did I really say that I'm gonna do it today? Or should I just pretend that I never thought of it. He's probably busy today. Yup definitely that no need to feel stressed.

I haven't seen him back at the headquarters nor did I see him around town when I was coming back from my patrol- that's a good sign. It's still pretty early but I don't think that I'll see him today... What a relief!

Before I left the headquarters after finishing some paperwork I hear a voice that belongs to a beautiful librarian I am lucky to be able to call a friend.

"Hey there cutie, are you okay?"

"Just a little bit nervous that's all, nothing new haha"

"Do you need me to pass a message again?"

"No need! It's something I need to say myself..."

"I see..."

"But if you happen to see capitan Kaeya it would be nice if you could tell him that I was looking for him" out of habit I grab my hair and begin to play with it. Lisa's warm soothing voice blessed my ears as she said "No worries darling, I'll let him know" before she left and giggled to herself...

Wait... Oh no.

Why did I say anything!? Is she that magical that I can't say anything but what's on my mind.

If she happens to meet him my request will be unavoidable! Even if I tried thinking of something else Kaeya will know that I'm lying. I can't avoid him either... Can't waste his precious time...

How do I even ask him!? Do I need to change from my work clothes before I go? What should I do...

I didn't realize that I started walking in circles before someone approached me.

"Heather?"

I turn around and see the man I was thinking about all day. Dammit... I have to say it. I can't think of an excuse and staying silent is now unacceptable.

"Oh-uhm... Greetings Capitan Kaeya"

"Lisa informed me that you were looking for me"

"Oh right!... That... Haha..."

"I don't want to rush you, however I do have some business to attend to"

"I'm so sorry! I mean- since you're busy then my silly request is irrelevant"

"Come now, I believe that I should be the judge of that" his smug look made it ever so slightly more challenging to say anything.

"I just... Ugh..." I took a deep breath "Look as you know I was trying to loosen up recently and well I realized that I wasn't making any progress at all. So I remembered that one time you asked me to go to the tavern with you and I refused... I mean ignored you, which I am VERY sorry about but now I think that it was a mistake and today I wanted to ask you to accompany me but since you're busy let's just forget about everything" I felt relieved getting that off my chest.

"I don't think that will do, in fact I was heading towards the tavern so if you really want to I suppose you can join me" Oh right... I forgot about him gathering some information there from time to time. So it might work after all! He won't pay too much attention to me and I could investigate without tons of distractions.

"Let's get going then capitan" I say before he smiles softly in response "Wait do you want to get going now or-"

"Yes" he cut me off, which was fair and I'm glad he did it before I said something dumb.

We're almost there. Before we get closer I suddenly stop.

"That reminds me!" I realized I spoke out loud, as he looked at my direction my confidence dropped dead "I've never actually tried any alcohol so would you be so kind to recommend something for me? I figured that since I'm already getting out of my comfort zone might as well try something new" I said under my breath but he definitely understood what I meant judging by his facial expression and well... response.

"Absolutely" my heart skipped a beat. I desperately tried to start a conversation topic... But choosing alcohol might be something I'll regret...

Kaeya started listing few drinks I could enjoy his words were poetic as he described the beverages, however the names of the drinks went over my head. It wasn't that bad but I just felt stupid over how clueless I was. He definitely knew what he was talking about and I'm more than interested in hearing more. The more he talks the less likely I am to say something I'll regret.

"Obviously since I don't know how much you can handle I won't be forcing you to try too much too soon" he paused "Your father probably wouldn't be happy either if you returned drunk" he said teasingly. It invited me to respond less seriously.

"Oh no! This means that we'll have to do it again, how awful"

"We didn't enter yet so you can feel free to leave now before you regret spending time with me of all people" his voice was now suddenly much more hostile... Did I mess it up!?

He laughed softly "I'm sorry did I go too far? While I don't want to force you to do anything, I won't lie... I'm a bit curious to learn something new about you tonight"

We were still outside standing right in front of the entrance to the tavern if not for chatting we could hear from the inside there would be total silence.

"I'm sorry for being quiet again! It's just that you caught me off guard haha" I look away "There isn't much to know about me so I feel like I'll only disappoint you"

"I'm not so sure about that part"

"Wait... Did my father tell you anything about me!?"

"Look let's just get inside, We'll discuss it later"

Nervously I followed him yet again. The atmosphere was warm and I could see different kinds of people all over the place. We sit down.

"So did he tell you anything?" I ask immediately.

"Relax, he didn't" he seemed amused by my desperation to know. It's understandable... And I'm probably overreacting anyway. I collect my thoughts "I'm sorry"

"What are you sorry for?"

"I'm just making this into some big deal for no reason. Maybe the reason is the huge amount of respect I have for you that makes me freak out"

"I see, well I don't see the reason to be so formal now. We aren't working after all" his soft smile was enough for me to calm down.

"Thank you" Maybe it was all I needed to hear, after that everything went smoothly.

I start feeling proud of myself... Maybe I can change after all? Either way it only shows that I have to write it down! And once I was back home I did just that.

Today I had enough courage to take a step in right direction! I went to a tavern with capitan Kaeya. It was fun and for the first time in years I wasn't that scared. It wasn't totally perfect but it was definitely worth it.

[bumblesimagines]

Listen Before I Go

Request: Yes or No

There are gonna be a bunch of different lyrics at the start and end of the fics (mostly from Listen Before I Go lol)

Summary: After getting kicked out by his ex, (Y/N) finds a place to stay at while he looks for his own place. His boss, and best friend, tells him her cousin owns a place with a spare room. (Y/N) moves in and attempts to avoid the other tenants but Gael has other plans.

~

Take me to the rooftop

I wanna see the world when I stop breathing, turning blue

Tell me love is endless, don't be so pretentious

Leave me like you do

You continued to write draw in your notebook, coping the buildings and streets. The mixture of smoke from your cigarette and the music coming from your headphones filled your senses. Callie, a new tenant, watched as you drew quietly. You didn't mind her presence since she didn't bother you or ask too many questions.

"Maybe I'll work up the courage to get a tattoo and go to you." Callie said, finishing her wine. You sent her a smile, glancing at her innocent face. She returned the smile before excusing herself back to her room. You took your cigarette away from your lips, holding it between your middle and index finger. The smoke drifted past your lips and up into the air, the wind taking it away. You began to space out, remembering exactly why you had to live at The Coterie.

"I bought the place! It's my fucking apartment!" Josh screamed. You stared at him in disbelief.

"You're the one who fucking cheated on me and I'm the one being kicked out?!" You shook your head, throwing your hands up.

"You know what? Fuck it, I don't care! I'll gladly leave your ass."

You snapped back to reality when you heard water splashing. You glanced back at the male swimming before focusing on your notebook. You began to shade the drawing, squinting your eyes slightly as you attempted to focus with eyes on your bare back. You could hear the water splashing against the edges and swallowed, dry throat aching.

"You're finally out of your room." You looked away from your paper, looking at the soaking man. You shrugged lightly, looking back at your paper. You used the pencil as a bookmark and closed your notebook.

"How come you never talk to us?" Gael asked. You had been a little dry.

You sighed, returning from a long shift at the shop. You had lots of appointments and some walk-ins.

"Oh! You're finally home! Guys, this is the newest tenant, (Y/N)!" Alice introduced you to the others. Some waved, others smiled, and some simply nodded. A handsome guy approached you.

"I'm Gael." You nodded, glancing at his hand.

"I'm gonna be in my room.. I had a long day." You said quietly, mostly to Alice, before heading to your room. You were still hurting from the sudden breakup.

"I.. I'm just.. Trying to get over stuff." You replied softly, moving away from the bricked wall. You butted out your cigarette, letting it drop to the floor.

"You might not know us well enough, but we're here if you ever need to talk." Gael said softly, eyes holding a comforting shine. You nodded, walking away from him. You headed to your room, entering and closing the door behind you. With a sigh, you collapsed onto your bed, tossing your notebook onto the desk nearby.

You smiled, listening to Paloma rant about a cilent. You chuckled quietly, coloring the drawing from the night before.

"I can't handle some of these people! Like, your man is the one who came asking for a tattoo. If you don't want another bitch touching him, do it yourself!" She huffed. You looked up, hearing two knocks on your slightly open door.

"Hold on, Lo." You said before putting her on pause. Gael gave you a small smile.

"You should smile more often." He said.

"Did you need something?" You asked, continuing to work on your drawing.

"It's time for dinner."

"I'm not hungry, I ate earlier." You glanced up at him. Gael hummed.

"You're gonna have to talk to everyone eventually." You looked at him, standing up and approaching him.

"Yeah, it'll be later rather than sooner. Goodnight, Martinez." You pushed him back slightly before attempting to close your door but Gael pushed against it. You sighed, pulling it back.

"Fine, I'll eat with you then."

"What?" You asked but Gael walked away from you. Before you knew it, Gael returned with a plate. Your lips parted, watching him enter you room and sit at your empty desk. Thankfully you had organized it in the morning. You gave up, knowing he wouldn't budge. You closed the door and went back to your bed, unpausing Paloma.

"Finally, wey! Why'd you pause me?" Paloma asked. You glanced at Gael.

"Can I say hi?" Gael stood up, climbing onto the bed and resting his head on your shoulder.

"Oh? Who's this?"

"Gael, he's a tenant." You said, watching Paloma raise her slitted brows. You nudged Gael off.

"Go eat your food, I don't want the mice in my room." You mumbled. Gael did so, eating his food with a cheeky grin. Paloma hummed, a smug look at her face. You rolled your eyes.

"Didn't you have some bad news, or something?" You asked. Paloma's smugness dropped and was replaced with a frown.

"Yeah... Someone stopped by today.." Your eyes drifted from your paper to her face as you slowly stopped coloring.

"Who?"

"Josh." You licked your lips, inhaling softly. "Oh."

"Yeah.. I told him you moved into a different part of the city, far from where you're at now. He won't be bugging you, I promise." Paloma assured. You nodded, feeling Gael's eyes on you. He silently stood, plate in hand before leaving. Gael returned, sitting on the bed and watching you, deep in thought.

"How many clients do I have tomorrow?" You asked, scratching the nape of your neck, a habit of yours when you were uncomfortable.

"Uh, like about.." Paloma looked away from her phone, the sound of shuffling paper coming from the phone.

"Four cilents.. You'll probably get off early if there aren't any walk-ins." Paloma replied. You hummed before the sound of a baby crying made you flinch. Paloma chuckled, giving you an amused grin.

"Mommy duties, I'll see you tomorrow." She said before hanging up. You smiled gently, turning off your phone and going back to the drawing.

"Cilents? Where do you work at?" Gael asked, moving so he was beside you.

"Tattoo shop." You replied softly, finishing the drawing. Gael hummed, his interest being elsewhere.

"If you don't mind me asking, who's Josh?" Gael asked, voice becoming soft.

"My ex."

"Damn, is he bothering you?" He asked. You shrugged.

"I blocked his number and social media. He's the one who kicked me out anyways." You said, snapping a picture of the finished product and posting it.

"Why are you always so.. Alone? You don't like us?" You remained silent, flipping through your pages. "Or do you think you're better than us?"

"I don't want to get attached to anyone. Especially fuckboys." You looked at him. Gael cocked his head.

"Attached? As in-"

"Thinking I can trust them and then getting backstabbed." You clarified, eyes hardening.

"You talk to Callie-"

"Yeah, cause she spills everything to everyone. I already know her backstory and I didn't even have to ask. I like people like her." You said. Gael straightened up.

"I have-"

"I don't wanna know your life story, Gael. Just like I don't wanna be friends, with you or anyone here. Why bother when everyone's gonna leave eventually?" You looked back down at your paper, saying the last part quietly and to yourself but Gael heard it.

"You'll be a card nut to crack but you'll crack, eventually." He stood up from the bed, giving you a smile as he headed towards your bedroom door and opened it.

"Night, (Y/N)." With that, he closed the door, leaving you in silence.

Sorry can't save me now

Sorry I don't know how

Sorry there's no way out (sorry)

But down

Hmm, down

[blueluneacy]

Personal Update

If you've been following me for a while, then you're probably used to this blog going through… Phases. I tend to have periods of high activity and low activity. It's a combination of both my mood and my schedule, but Recently, I discovered something that horrified me, my worst nightmare realized.

After staring at a page for over an hour, I realized I had burnout. I looked for other causes. Maybe I was tired, or sick, or just had writers block. I looked for legitimately any other cause, because the idea of not being able to write absolutely horrifies me. I've always been writing, always been a writer. It was a massive blow to me. I've always heard about burnout, but I thought, never me! Besides, I don't have the time to be lazy, all of you are waiting for my next post. If I don't post soon, people aren't going to care anymore. In a funny twist, I, the person who constantly preaches on how you need to write for yourself, was not doing that.

And it's not to say that I don't enjoy the requests I'm getting! Some of them can be very same, but I have the power to delete something already done! If I don't like it, I don't have to do it, right? Well, sorta. I've been forcing myself to do something… Weird. I've been making myself write requests in order of when I get them, as some sort of act of fairness. Which on the one hand, sounds fair, but on the other, has honestly made me hate some of my own ideas. I hate writing TA Jotaro now, because I'm constantly doing it, and I don't know why. I used to love the concept, hell, I came up with it! Is there something wrong with me? I don't know.

I started looking into cures for burnout, to try and get something, some pill so I could keep working. But, it doesn't work like that, unfortunately. The only way to cure burnout is… To change. To stop, take a break. But I took a short break before, and I'm still here, burnt out. Well, I never really solved the problem of before, I only prolonged the time it would take me to get here. I honestly don't know what to do other than wait. Even writing this feels agonizing to me for some reason. And it's not just jojo, either. I tried writing so much, from stuff with my ocs, other fandoms, even poetry, but nothing came out. I don't know what to do at this point other than wait it out, but that idea scares the heck out of me, if I'm not writing, what do I do?

For those who don't know, I work at a Bath and Body Works as well as go to school. My job isn't my passion, but it helps fund college and it's decent work. The people are weird, but that's not the point of my little anecdote. At work, part of what I do is sell candles. Massive, three wick scented candles, meant to last for over forty hours of continuous burning. But, I also do returns. About once a week, someone comes in and returns an empty candle container,all used up. While I think it's the stupidest thing, our return policy states that we have to take them, so take them I do, looking over the empty container, with metal prongs and char all along the sides. And God, I feel like those empty candle containers right now! And the problem is, at work, we throw them out. You get rid of them and get a new candle. But I can't just throw out my brain and get a new one. And writing is my outlet, my coping mechanism. I don't know what to do with myself when I'm not attempting to write.

A friend of mine told me to look at things from a different angle. To turn what I'm thinking on its head and work from there. So… I'm gonna try. I'm closing requests now, and I'm still going to attempt to work on them, but well… They'll get done eventually, I just don't know when. As for me working on my burn out… I'm going to try and work on something new. I want to finish Wrong with the Reaper, I want to write more Diavolo, I have so many ideas that I feel like could be interesting and outside my normal realm of what I do, and thinking about them does make me excited in this time where I honestly feel so… Dull.

They say burn out can manifest physically, in extreme exhaustion. I've been sleeping almost all the time when I'm not working, to the point where my dad asked if I needed to have a sleep study. In a way, this realization has made a lot of pieces in my head click.

The raffle is still gonna end at the same time. I'm gonna draw tomorrow still and make a post, and the raffle winnings are gonna take precedent over the requests, just because they're a prize and all. I'm hoping maybe these longer flics will help too, maybe I'll work more on prose or something.

If you want to interact with me, talk to me, or maybe see my wips (always lookin for proof readers lmao), join my discord server at https://discord.gg/gQEEVMf. While I'm still gonna check my inbox here, it's a much easier way to reach me and talk to me.

Thanks for reading. You guys mean so much more to mean than you could ever possibly know. In a way, my burnout has stemmed from my constant race of being up to my own standards, as well as trying to be something that uplifts your day in my writing. I don't know anymore. What I'm trying to say is, thank you all. I'm writing is at almost four a.m. when I couldn't sleep, and I'll probably post it when I wake up. I never thought anyone would like my writing, but people who I have considered fucking idols in the jojo writing section of tumblr have even complimented my work, and it just makes me so happy that people I adore like my work, but also terrified, horrified that I will sooner or later disappoint. But, I'm still alive, I'm still living, still going. And I know that if I keep going, eventually, I think I'll get through this.