#I'm glad I am alive

[crystal-verse]

god i want. an au where it dosn't work. where it's just arr g'raha who's woken up, and he doesn't have all these memories and all these people keep looking at him like they're mourning someone. the world has changed and time has changed and all the people he knows have changed, but he hasn't changed, he was just sleeping, just sleeping, and the world nearly ended several times and apparently he helped prevent yet another end but he has no memory of this. they want him to join the scions. he does not know these people. (he barely knows the warrior of light, now, but did he ever truly know them in the first place?) his little sister is alive and well. she looks at him like a ghost. she's changed, and she's older than him now. he acts bratty and loud and brash to cover up the fact that he does not know anything it seems, and he is tired but he was sleeping for so long, so how could he be tired?

he doesn't know these people. they seem to know him. he wonders if he'd killed someone, when it was him and not that exarch who woke up. he wonders if it should have been him who was "killed" in that way, if it is him that lives and not that man who had known and become friends with all these figures from legend. he wonders if he'll always be fated to be a historian one step back from everything, because he simply cannot be a hero.

[lotrmusical]

tell you what. i love being older than i used to be. and more transgender also

[elderstrolls]

[woeisthey]

NEW UNRELEASED LINKIN PARK SONG, NEW PARAMORE ALBUM, NEW PIERCE THE VEIL ALBUM . HELLO ??????????

MY FELLOW EMOS HOW ARE WE FEELING ??

[halogalopaghost]

[thebirdandhersong]

blessings count!

ran into two university friends I hadn't expected to see in my book history class!

ran into a friend from church unexpectedly!

ran into an acquaintance I got to chat with

ran into a dear friend I'd been hoping to talk to at some point at the bookstore and got to catch up with him!

ran into my elusive dorm mate whom I haven't seen since last week and got to catch up with him, too

SUN. BLUE SKY. WARM WEATHER. (alas the Arctic front thing means it won't be so tomorrow but it was lovely today!!)

good music :) spent all of today listening to Porter's Gate, Skye Peterson, Jess Ray, Jon Guerra, Jonathan Ogden, Sarah Sparks...

got to pray with a couple of girls at my dorm!

finally bought cough drops that do something other than taste alright (cough is still here but I suspect it'll take a while for it to disappear.... sigh)

I went to buy myself a nice lip oil at the store as a Treat (also I only recently figured out what lip colours work with my skin tone lol) and I LOVE IT Y'ALL it was an EXCELLENT choice !!! :D

rice rolls for lunch today! they were SO good

received about 5 hugs, which was such a blessing

incredible intellectually stimulating lectures in class today..... a great deal of fun was had

[allthenamesiwantedweretakenandye]

Stinky rat

[iirulancorrino]

Ok the photo of Salman in today’s New Yorker profile, as well as the one he just posted to twitter, are going to make me tear up.

[pharawee]

I knew it!!

If So ends up being behind everything (and I'm pretty sure he is) House of Stars will immediately become one of my favourite shows rn (I mean it already is but 🙌).

[hellkitepriest]

sooooooo today is ALSO the one year anniversary of getting actually properly into this band and this is just a mushy post to say: what a year, good lord. immensely thankful for this corner of the internet and all the people i've met and experiences i've had as a result, getting to log on here and Post with you lot is a joy

[goldkirk]

I AM SO GLAD I'M STILL ALIVE FOR ALL THIS

[mysterywheeze]

If you've ever struggled with suicidal ideation, this has likely been a particularly difficult week. It certainly has been for me. I've lost a lot of trust in a lot of people. I hope this post doesn't make anyone lose trust in me.

You need to live. That means you, the person reading this post. I don't know your name or your situation but I know, with the same certainty that I know that the Earth is turning, that you need to live.

I know that it can be hard, crushingly hard. I know what it's like to feel so empty that getting out of bed seems impossible, or so overwhelmed that drastic action seems like the only way out.

It isn't. Death is not the answer. It sure as fuck isn't praxis. Please, please do not let anyone convince you otherwise. If you think that your death will have a net positive effect on the world, I promise you, as someone who has been there before, it won't.

And while I encourage you to do what you can to try and make the world a better place - donate to charity, pick up litter, volunteer your time, write your representatives, et cetera - I want to make it clear that those aren't requirements you need to meet to justify being alive. Your life has value, inherently.

Today things may be terrible. They may stay terrible for a while. But one day, a song will get stuck in your head that makes you feel something again. You'll meet a dog that loves you unconditionally. You'll eat a meal that tastes like it was cooked by an angel. You'll pick up a new hobby, perhaps without even realizing it, and it will bring you some sense of satisfaction. You'll watch a beautiful movie. You'll walk past a beautiful mural. Someone will compliment your outfit, someone will laugh at your joke, someone will tell you they're happy to spend time with you. One day you will wake up early enough to see the sun rise.

It's a cliche to say "it will get better". That's because it's true. It probably won't be a linear upward trend, rarely do things stay better forever, but there will come a time when you'll be glad you stayed alive. I promise.

[non-un-topo]

Wondering if it's worth it to bind today and wear a literal pin with my literal pronouns if my supervisor and peers are going to misgender me all day

[will80sbyers]

I hate when I realize I'm not immortal and in the future I'm gonna have to die one way or another

[friendorflo]

you know i really gotta stop posting that shit publicly because he literally has an account and can see my posts.

[lee-hakhyun]

thinking about ye hyunwoo again. chapter 621