#I'm glad porsche has people who are on his side

[cetacean]

I’m on your team!

[lilitblaukatz]

My most delulu take starts here. It will be scattered through the whole series, but let's start somewhere.

I'm writing a (kimchay) fic so I am ripping canon to pieces. I'm so glad for this rewatch party because I see people see what I see and I have strength to actually say all this hehe.

So,

This here, looks like they were hoarded the certain way.

This dude has a gun! But machete, really?

Were they really suppose to kill Kinn? Or just deliver him somewhere? To check someone's reaction. To see something?

Every time the KP characters are stating smth obvious there are alerts going off in my head.

They were watching "Jom". Korn, who had Nampheung a couple stores over, didn't forget about Porsche (and Chay) not for one minute.

Porsche was very important to Korn. He sees him as much powerful figure as the black queen on his board.

That's the first and last time we see Korn playing on the white side.

Korn is laying groundwork for Kinn-Porsche partnership. Did he expected the partnership in question being the kind it turned out to be? Bwahaha.

Very interesting look, Khun Korn.

Who else? Obvious statement again, so I wonder...

We know that's staged. This all is a Theerapanyakul patented circus show.

Arthee was appointed by Korn and Arthee must have been keeping him up to date on what is going on in Kittisawat house.

Also, Don was very surprised.

That's Don's people. We also know that people can easily be bought. Korn must have had people in the minor family house. What about Don's?

If Don sent them to kill Kinn (right after their successful meeting), wouldn't he guess that the mission failed then? Looks like Don had no idea what his people were up to.

Don't forget, who's THE boss here.

So, the black queen (Porsche) is the last of Korn's soldiers.

What game, sorry, war he is starting?

[miss0atae]

Random thoughts about Playboyy the series ep 12:

This episode was so much easier to watch than the previous one. I don't know if it's the editing or the pacing but I appreciated it more.

▪️First and Soong are back together and they want to take care and stay with each other. Some people complain about them speaking English to each other while they are supposed to both speak Thai but I find it endearing because I used to do the same thing before with my previous partner (granted, we never were fluent in the language of the other one). We may have sounded funny as them. Anyway, I'm glad they are happy because they were the first couple I was rooted for. They deserve each other. I don't think anyone else could handle First. He is a real handful. Only Soong seems to be able to bring the best of him.

▪️Zouey and Nont were still investigating. The found the name of a Hotel where Nant may have come. They went over there and got some Intel from the front desk lady in an unconventional way: make her admit the truth by tickling her. (Isn't she the first woman who saw in the series?!) They learnt Aob was following Nant. Everyone became a suspect in this series at one point.

▪️Nont wants Zouey to patch things up with First and Captain but it's not working. I used to think they were really good friends but Zouey doesn't seem close to them anymore and doesn't seem to regret them. Of course, Captain and First are not Saints and they have a very different mindset as Zouey. In this episode it was really shown how fragile their friendship is. I found that sad because it was one of the best points of this group. At least, Nont said to Zouey how he views him as a friend.

▪️Zouey and Teena got some NC scenes and I felt something was off with Zouey. To be honest, he seemed really weird and almost hiding something.

▪️Jason Lee is still upset about Porsche having a relationship with Jump and he wants to find them. Jason Lee is not a great villain. He is mostly comical and has a bad temper. He is always talking it out on someone, mostly Aob.

▪️I felt pity for Aob. He is still working with his ex sugar daddy, killing people for him but still trying to protect his loved ones. He is taking care of Puen after he gets expelled (Captain had his revenge and revealed to the headmaster of their school that Puen was a prostitute. Even though the real person he should have gone after we're the rugby team). It was also shown before how he cared about the ex-members of the Playboyy. It seems, he can't let go of his ties with Jason Lee.

▪️Nont showed again his unhinged side when he went after Aob. He is after the truth about his twin and it doesn't matter how he gets the answer. Captain and him made a plan to torture Puen in front of Aob to make him talk. Aob's friends went to save him, but it didn't work because some men in black came to the scene, threatening them with guns and forced them to perform sexual acts. It wasn't easy to watch it. I guess those men work for Jason Lee.

▪️Nont, Captain, First and Zouey (who came after) fled when they realized they were helpless and couldn't do anything to save Teena, Soong, Jump or Aob. I didn't expect them to flee. I know they are not fighters and they had no power, but damn, I wish they had tried to do something.

▪️On the other hand, Phop was waiting for Nuth (who had been called by Nont at one point when he was trying to get info from Aob) and scrolling on his computer where he found a video. It has to do with Nant but we never see it because it was the end of the episode. I found the acting brilliant in this scene because at first Phop was smiling and you could see on his face how he found Nuth sweet. He had a file on his computer with pictures of Phop. they were not all flattering but the fact he kept them is to show how attached he is to Phop. However, when he found the video all these good emotions left his face. It was like all these feelings were switched off and only wrath remains.

Next one promised to be sad and tough to watch again. I hope no one is dead because the trailer makes it seem like Puen is not in good form. Jason Lee is still trying to kill Jump and Nont will feel guilty because he believes he is bringing just bad things to his "friends". It's almost the end and the mystery remains about Nant. We still have two episodes and then it's going to be the end 🥹

[ae-azile]

I am really in love with your Progression fic. Your writing is amazing. I love the way you wrote Kim's pain and loneliness (in the beginning). You wrote it so beautifully that I literally cried several times because it tore at my heart. And I am so happy you made it into this long full story. I am so curious about next chapter and also very worried about Kim now. He was triggered by Nam's attempt and I read your preview of the next chapter. Poor boy needs to talk about it or things could get bad if he doesn't. He is clearly not completely healed and Chay knows about the pills. But he doesn't know how close Kim came to jumping off the balcony. The only reason Kim didn't do it was because he saw that car and thought it was rival gang, so he decided to die at their hands. And it was Chay's car. Chay has no idea that he unintentionally saved Kim's life that day. I am looking forward to the next chapter. I love this story so much.

I'm so glad you like the fic! Kim definitely had it rough those first few chapters (2-4 especially, but even beyond that). While he has improved so much due to reconciling with Chay, reconnecting and becoming closer with his brothers, having other people in support system - Arm, Pol, Porsche, Lane, and even Nam (despite her issues and mindset). His cousins and Fern are even gradually entering the fold. All in all, Kim is doing well!

That being said, it can be very hard to bounce back from a severe mental crisis like the one Kim had. I think in retrospect, he has a fear of that happening again. To be confronted with Nam's attempt and be reminded of the previous attempts and ideation of his own is likely very triggering. On top of that, he was sort of confronted with being on the other side of the situation. He cares about Nam deeply at this point. They pretty much live together at this point since he stays over at Chay's so much. I think feeling the sadness and terror that was triggered by the potential of a loss of a loved one in that fashion was hard for him. So his thoughts and feelings about her attempt and the subsequent emotions and trauma after makes it very layered.

However, he will be talking with Lane and you will get a scene of him doing that. Spoiler alert: once he spills, he SPILLS. It will make him have a raw day emotionally and some temporary regression symptoms may show up, but he does have a strong support system now and multiple people who know what they should probably look out for. His situation is very different and I think he will cheer up some once he hears Chay's news. ♥️

[saturnskyline]

“pro: he gets to work in his area of expertise! con: he isn't fully removed from the "vegas from the minor family" label that he clearly resents. hmm. many jumbled thoughts on this”

oh, oh wow, i just realized one thing, when vegas was his father’s second, he was never good enough, his father kept reminding him that. he celebrated minor victories with his men but those were not his father’s tasks. but imagine vegas working with porsche (hi, how are you, kinn?) and it’s nothing like that??? porsche genuinely appreciates vegas’s help, listens to his advice and says things like “thanks, that was amazing, vegas”, because porsche might have all the 100k essay feelings about vegas (and vegaspete????) but he isn’t stupid and knows that having vegas on his side is better than not. and porsche doesn’t mind saying thank you when he is thankful, he is genuine about that kind of stuff. so he just casually praises vegas here and there? like vegas is not actually a failure and good for nothing and disappointment??? and we already know they have amazing chemistry during combat so i want more of that. (porsche refuses to send his men without joining himself, fuck you, korn, you cannot lock this bird in a cage.) also porsche does not trust korn still and he cannot talk about it with kinn, and yes, they want to merge main and minor family, have them not compete but at the end of the day there are still two people not one leading two families. and it’s nice that porsche has vegas to back him up (how did we get here, ha ha) when he disagrees with the main family about something. anyway just some more thoughts about how porsche and vegas have so many layers to their relationship while i am panicking about a flight.

(prev post is here, and there's more where that came from. lots of layers to this hehe)

first of all, i'm sorry about the flight stress 😭 but i'm glad to distract from that in any way with my ramblings <333

and oh, i never thought about it like this before! i do think vegas is at least a little taken in by porsche's earnestness ("how can you live in this filthy world" ish .... sorry sorry), and how candid he is about everything. vegas has grown up in this web of lies, where no one is what they seem, but porsche, the uninitiated, brings a whole new perspective to the table. and sure, i can see this being a source of conflict, since it's such a blatant reminder of just how much porsche was decidedly not primed to be a mafia heir. but! i like to think that vegas finds it refreshing, in a sense. post-canon, he's in an entirely different state of mind; he's absolutely more vulnerable, and i think he would be pretty receptive to porsche's more open, positive feedback. don't get me wrong: i love when he's a slimy, manipulative little guy too, but i think his main focus now being to keep pete and macau safe has honestly changed him. plus, vegas and porsche are such a good team, i would love to see them playing nice :)

it's super interesting to consider how korn (rightfully) views them both as dangerous, too... vegas in the finale was such a wild card that he tried to take him out (i guess this is technically uncomfirmed but really. who else could it have been), and porsche is such a threat that korn has to trap him with his family and a position at kinn's side. now, if they could just team up and work together defeat the chess master, everything would be great!!

also your comment on porsche putting aside his 100k essay feelings when working with vegas is so !!!! exactly!! porsche really does seem like the type of guy to be able to compartmentalize their bad history in favor of a larger goal. "yeah it's true that he (insert literally anything from the laundry list of offenses), but we have good professional chemistry!" lol. it's possible that vegas concedes in a similar way as well, with porsche being head of the minor family (it's true that he doesn't have any choice but to accept this, as long as korn is breathing... but still).

anyway. i always dive right into these and then wonder if i'm even making sense ghdfjsdhf, but mostly what i'm trying to say is, i want these two to continue to bond over being "blinded by the adults", have weirdly wholesome moments in the future where porsche tells vegas that he is good, and continue to serve MASSIVE COMBAT CHEMISTRY LIKE THIS 🙏🙏

[a-tale-never-told]

The Report

Unknown building, Kyoto, South Japan, 7:31pm, September 3rd.

"*In an undisclosed location, somewhere in the city, a red Porsche 356 pulls up in front of the building, and into the parking area. From within the car, a familiar figure proceeds to get out of the car, wearing a black suit with a fedora. He proceeds to look up into the sky before him, seeing the moon shining on the street, before walking inside*"

"Upon getting inside the complex, he looks around to see the rest of the staff running around the rooms in a hurry, trying to get their work done as soon as possible. Most of them were trying to organize important documents and papers, with some of them already signed, while other members of the staff were on the phone, making calls to several important clients*"

*The man, amid all of the chaos, calmly walks to a receptionist's desk where the receptionist in question is currently trying to sort out the papers in his desk in the proper order*

Receptionist: *looks up* Mr Fisher?

Franz: Yes?

Receptionist: *takes a deep breath* The Boss wants to see you immediately. He's been waiting for you since this morning.

Franz: Very well then. Tell him I'm coming up.

Receptionist: Understood.

*"As the receptionist picks up his phone to make a call, Franz proceeds to head to the elevator, where he presses the button and calmly waits for the elevator to open. Once the elevator opens, he proceeds to walk inside and push the 5th-floor button to go all the way to the top of the building. As the door calmly closes, he silently stares to the ground, anxious for his boss's response*"

DING!

*"As the elevator finally reaches the 5th floor, Franz steps out and proceeds to open the door of his boss's office. Inside the office, treasures from several different eras of history lined up in several cases across the room, so much so that it was almost like a mini archeology museum. From what he could see, Franz could catch glimpses of some Greek vases, a stone model of a Mayan temple, an Egyptian sarcophagus, a Persian robe, and an African garb among the vast treasure trove in the room*"

*"Standing a few feet away from him, sitting on a desk eating some ravioli, is a man in a black suit, who is in his 60s calmly eating his food. He has some form of hair, although he is mostly bald and pale. Standing beside him on both sides, are two bodyguards wearing glasses, carrying semi-automatic pistols, watching him calmly"*

???: (Thick German accent) Sit down.

*"Franz does as told, pulling the chair towards him, and proceeds to sit down a few feet from him.*"

???: *sighs* Welcome Home, Franz. I've been notified about what happened this morning. But what matters now is are you alright? No bones broken or bruises you might have suffered?

Franz: No, I'm perfectly alright, Mr Wagner.

Mr Wagner: *smiles* Good, good, I'm very glad to hear that you made it out unscathed. However, there are more concerning things to talk about.

Mr Wagner: *Stops smiling* Tell me, what exactly happened this morning?

Franz: Well... you see, there was a slight complication today.

Mr Wagner: Slight complication?

Franz: Earlier, this man in the Kadett car was in my way, as I was trying to head out from being pursued by those Yakuza. Eventually, things escalated from there and I ended up trying to murder him on the road. Please accept my honest plea when I say it was an isolated incident.

Mr Wagner: Isolated Incident? No, no, no, this was far from an isolated incident, you certainly know that. You went out there in the middle of the morning, in front of the neighborhood, with no kind of secrecy or discretion at all, and then proceeded to open fire on him in the middle of the road, in front of hundreds of people.

Mr Wagner: And let us not forget the fact that there was an American Jeep in the vicinity, in the same area you and that rat were clashing in. And even after all of that madness that you created, you really expect me to accept that it was an isolated incident?

Franz: ...

Mr Wagner: *takes a sip of the tea and breathes* I completely understand that you have an unbridled hatred against that man for what happened all those years back. But! We must not let personal grudges interfere with any notion of the plan we've made. You nearly jeopardized our entire operation because of what you did!

Franz: I know... I'm sorry Mr Wagner. It happens.

Mr. Wagner: *sighs* You do realize that I am working on a very tight schedule at the moment. Imagine if the authorities figured out what we were doing here? Of course, our professions have allowed us to elude the law under a mask of hard-working men and women. But it is only a matter of time before our luck runs out.

Mr Wagner: Not to mention that a few certain authority figures in that wretched hellhole they call a police department have been conducting an investigation on our activities. They are obviously on to us again, after so many years. We have to do something or risk the entire plan shattering like a glass window.

Franz: I wholeheartedly agree, sir. What shall I do?

Mr Wagner: Try to keep a very low profile and avoid getting caught by any policemen or Yakuza. I have a few safehouses built for you if you need some equipment and resources. But you are always obligated to return here and give me important and vital information on what goes on in this city. Keep doing whatever you plan to do, and report back here to update me on the situation.

Franz: Understood, Mr. Wagner *starts to get up from the chair and heads to the exit*

Mr Wagner: Ah! And one last vital detail I completely forgot to mention untill now.

Franz: *turns back to look at him* Yes?

Mr Wagner: Let me be remotely clear with you that this is the final time a stunt like this happens again, on my watch. I will not tolerate any more of that reckless behavior while I'm in charge. Incidents like this are what ultimately lead to failure and I cannot accept that at all. The next time I catch you pulling off a risky maneuver like this again, you'll suffer the consequences dearly. We brought you into this organization, Franz... but we can very much take you away from it if you misbehave. Understand me?

Franz: *smiles* Understood, Mr Wagner. I will not commit such an act of insanity again. You have my word.

*With that, Franz proceeds to open the office door and starts to walk out, closing the door behind him, as Mr. Wagner goes back to eating his ravioli, as if nothing had happened at all...

[heretherebedork]

About Porsche and his apology acceptance. I've seen so many people complain about that. Porsche won't reduce people on their mistakes, he won't forget the good things about someone because of mistakes. Someone could be the best and nicest person on this earth but one big mistake would make a lot of people forget about all the good things that person did. Humans make mistakes, every day, and it's normal, and it's not wrong to forgive them if they regret it, forgiving shouldn't be judged aswell. We can't only see people's bad sides. I've seen so many shows or movies where it's like: I accept your apology but I can't forgive you for what you did. Of course the things happening in the show are extreme, I'm not saying we should tolerate specific behavior, but I think it's nice to see this in a show for once, seeing someome accept people and their mistakes...even if it's just a series. What do you think?

Porsche knows that he's made a lot of mistakes and he wants forgiveness for them as well.

For me, honestly, it's about looking at who Porsche is. He looks on the bright side, he looks for the good in every moment he can, he tries to find a reason to smile and to find joy. He's always held onto his dream and never let go of the idea of that little bar on the sea.

Porsche sees mistakes and he sees people and he choose to forgive the people who made the mistakes because they are trying, at least. And if they try... he'll try too. See how they both apologize to him and he takes a moment to listen.

Is Porsche too quick to trust? Yes. He is. But that's because he wants to be too quick to trust. He wants to trust the people around him because otherwise how can be happy with them? He wants to live his life to the fullest and to the most joyous.

He gets an apology from someone and he forgives. Both Kinn and Vegas got that... Kinn because he needed it and Vegas because he knows Porsche.

It's a personal and different take and it's a personal choice that Porsche has made to forgive people, to take them back into his life.

If people are glad he forgave Kinn, then it only follows that he could forgive Vegas. To his knowledge, Vegas did less to him and has apologized the same way Kinn did. It only follows.

And I do like that about Porsche. Took me a bit to get behind it but I understand a lot better now and I do get where he's coming from and how he thinks.

(no book spoilers)

[thequeenofsastiel]

KinnPorsche Episode 12 Review-A Bit Much

I have mixed feelings about this episode. I loved the VegasPete parts, but I feel like the parts with Kinn and Porsche were a bit of a mess.

I didn't love Porsche getting randomly paranoid about the fact that he couldn't get ahold of Kinn, assuming that Kinn was cheating, and spying on him. Admittedly it's not entirely out of character, he did the same thing with Tawan, but Tawan was clearly plotting something. Porsche reacting this way felt rather contrived. The goal was clearly to have Porsche find out that he had been manipulated into working for the main family, but I feel like the show could have done that in a way that didn't make Porsche look like he entirely distrusted Kinn. It rather destroyed what their relationship had been built up to be in ep 11. A relationship in which there is lack of trust and spying is not a healthy one.

I do feel like Porsche's reaction to the revelation made sense, though. I'm glad that he left the main family entirely. While a part of me liked that Kinn followed him, because of how sweet they were together in prior eps, Porsche's behavior at the beginning of the ep shook my love of it, and I don't like that the show didn't bother showing us Porsche and Kinn reconciling. It went from Porsche being furious with Kinn to him smiling softly at him. I get why he didn't blame Kinn, but the transition was too abrupt. There was a scene missing.

I like that Porsche didn't end up killing the guy who hit his parents, but I feel like the show didn't do enough to build up emotion on his part for the scene to have any real weight. Yes, Kim had been investigating it, but Porsche wasn't shown to be dwelling on who killed his parents. He seemed to have moved on. So him deciding to kill the person who accidentally killed his parents felt abrupt. And then there was his confrontation with his uncle who had a picture of his parents with Korn.

I think the show tried to cram too much drama in the parts with Kinn and Porsche into this episode. We got Porsche being paranoid and distrusting of Kinn, a huge red flag, then him finding out about being manipulated into working for the main family, then learning who killed his parents, deciding to kill the man, then deciding not to, and then we had drama with his uncle. It was just too much. All of those things deserved more time than they were given, and because they weren't, they all felt rather meaningless.

The Porchay and Kim parts I didn't love either. I can totally buy Porchay engaging in self destructive behavior after everything that happened with Kim. What I don't understand is Kim's behavior. He goes to the effort of tracking down Porchay, fighting his friends, and dragging him away, but as soon as Porchay pushes back even a little, Kim gives up and leaves, as if he's the one who has a right to be mad. I don't approve of him showing up and being violent, but it doesn't make any sense for him to have emotions that powerful, showing such an intense desire to control Porchay, and then abruptly giving up. I would expect him to try harder. Again, not that I approve of being controlling like that, it's just that his behavior doesn't make sense.

Now, the VegasPete parts I did enjoy. I loved seeing Vegas's soft side. Dgmw, I don't think that makes him a good person, he's still someone who enjoys torturing and killing people, but I do like that he's multidimensional. Seeing him cry over his hedgehog was heartbreaking, because that animal was adorable and I loved all of his moments with it.

I also couldn't help but love how hard Pete fell for him. That he gave into his kink desires. They were beautiful together. I also like that Vegas didn't force himself on Pete, despite the fact that he did sexually assault Pete at the beginning of ep 11. I was able to actually enjoy them together and feel okay about it.

The VegasPete parts get a 10/10. The rest of it gets a 5/10.

[rainbowcolored7]

Okay, now that I've had some time to rewatch and mull over all the information we have so far, I'm going to try and lay out my thoughts. It's gonna get long, I'd meant to do a strictly novel analysis of the scene before it aired, but life got in the way as usual. But I'm kind of glad, 'cause now I can compare the two.

There will be discussion of both the show and the novel below the cut, so if you're not interested in the novel or spoilers please pass this post by.

I'm going to start this off by saying that I am truly happy with the changes they've made in the show when it comes to the consensual aspect of the story between Kinn and Porsche. Also, as a warning, I'm going to be pulling personal experiences out to try and get my thoughts across properly. And, I don't do posts like this, like ever, so sorry if I make zero sense or talk way too much. I just have a lot of thoughts, and on the rare occasion my brain allows me to comprehensively share those thoughts, I need to take advantage.

Let's start this off from the beginning of episode 4. Porsche wakes up in Pete's bed, knows he kissed someone, can't remember, and spends the rest of the first half of the episode trying to piece things together. I know we like to joke about Porsche having a single braincell (and honestly sometimes boy... lol) but he's not an idiot and he does know how to read people. You can't be a good bartender or survive taking care of your family, young and alone, without having a decent grasp on human nature.

I think when Kinn called him up to the balcony and started asking him questions he left that conversation with a flickering of oh, I remember something happened and now Kinn is acting strangely (a theme he vocalizes later in the sauna). I think he's thinking, what did I do this time to make Kinn act so strangely (soft and flirtatious and joking around) towards me?

After he sees Kinn with his escort, realizes Kinn is gay, remembers what happened on the pier, and that what happened wasn't something he did but Kinn kissing him, he asks Pete if you should kiss someone you don't like (and the subtitles changed so don't at me...) , or aren't in a relationship with (or perhaps intentionally pursuing because you like them). Now, obviously, you can kiss people you don't like, but perhaps are just physically attracted to, and I'm sure something is lost in the translation. That or I'm just reading too much into it and Pete saying you only kiss people you like, 'cause baby boy, that ain't true. Side note, I have a feeling Pete might come to realize it isn't true when we get to the point of him with Vegas, but that's an entirely different egg to crack open. (I have also not read that far.)

Now, here, is where I want to point out just how differently Porsche reacts to what happened and how fucking ecstatic I am that they changed it completely. In the novel, Porsche struggles with a lot of internalized homophobia, though he's okay with Yok, who is trans, he mentions it took him some time to be okay with her, but he still recoils at people he thinks might be gay or someone of the same gender expressing interest in him. He frequently compliments men's looks, not just in a friendly way, and thinks about how attractive some men are, Kinn especially. In the novel, once he really realizes he's physically and sexually attracted to Kinn, Porsche has a fucking meltdown of an internal crisis over it. He even goes as far as hitting on all his guy friends trying to reason out why Kinn would be behaving the way he is towards him, and why he kind of likes it (but doesn't, but does, but doesn't etc.). The boy is a mess and in complete denial.

I'm assuming a lot here, and reading between the lines, but how I interpreted it was, Porsche had, at some point in his youth, like a lot of queer youth, gotten a lot of negative feedback about same sex attraction that really dug into his bones, and so whenever he feels anything more than friendship towards another man he freaks out and tries to bury it, all the while wanting it so badly he can't stop himself. i.e. kissing Kinn back and allowing Kinn to essentially do whatever he pleases while being vocally grumpy about it. In the novel, he doesn't know who he is when it comes to his sexuality, he's deep in denial about being bi, and actively fights against it.

The show ripped that all away and gave us the true chaotic bi king we love and adore, and who he should have been in the novel imo. Show Porsche is open, honest to a fault, accepting, understanding. Now, we haven't gotten verbal confirmation that Porsche is bi in the show, but from everything I've witnessed so far I feel safe in saying he's bi, pan, or just plainly doesn't give a fuck as long as he's getting pleasure from his encounters. He seems open to Kinn's attraction as well as his own, though to say for certain we will have to wait until episode 5, where I'm hoping they touch on this subject some more, and I hope it's on the good side in line with the changes from novel Porsche we've gotten so far. (I'm down for some turmoil about him having sex with his boss, but please keep the biphobia out please please).

As much as I'd like to get more into the lead up to the real juicy stuff, I just don't have the energy. So, let's get into the gritty of it, shall we? The drugging scene. We finally made it here. A lot faster than I was expecting? Absolutely. Does it still feel organic after the previous three episodes? If Kinn hadn't said Porsche had been at the compound for a month, yes, but since he did, no.

Porsche has been with Kinn, Khun, the other bodyguards, for a whole month. He's been learning, adjusting, actively trying to become a better bodyguard. The reasons behind his change of heart seem to be him finally coming to the realization of what a serious situation he's landed himself in. It's life or death, his life isn't the only one on the line here, it's everyone around him as well. He's clearly beginning to really care about the well-being of his fellow bodyguards (mainly Pete, Arm, Pol) and Khun and Kinn.

Also, after episode 3, it was clear to me that Porsche finds Kinn physically attractive, and I do believe wanting some kind of approval from Kinn was another motivator. He's curious about Kinn, he's attracted to him, he's leaning into it.

Kinn, poor baby, is having a beautiful emotional crisis, and a lot of that I think is thanks to Mile really pouring his entire being into fleshing Kinn out and turning him into a "well" rounded person rather than the power hungry, totally domineering, bastard asshole, very surface, no depth, Kinn we have in the novel. The changes they've made to Kinn are fucking delightful, and I'm adoring the added depth and emotional vulnerability they've given him.

In the novel, Vegas sexually assaults Porsche. Without penetration, but Kinn does find him in his underwear with marks all over his body. This was one of the parts I was most worried about them adapting in the show. (I will note here, I have not read past the official translation of 1/4 of the novel--which ends with my favorite spicy scene so far and god I hope they give it to us!--the rest I have sought out from fans so it's not a complete picture). The change they made was nice (as nice as beginning to assault someone can be...), and I'm glad we didn't have to go that far. They've clearly changed Vegas a bit, though how much is yet to be seen. I'm holding my judgment for now.

Kinn's internal monologue during the drugging scene is, well, rough to say the least. But that can be said for the novel as a whole. Reading it felt like reading a fic written by a teenager from the early 00's, and not in the good way. Kinn seems like a consent King, but after telling Porsche he'd stop if Porsche told him to, he doesn't. He fucks Porsche all night long, to the point of needing to take him to the hospital the next day because he's bleeding heavily and in a lot of pain. It has its hot moments, but it's rough and gross, and I'm so glad it's been changed in the show.

What the show gave us is stunning in comparison. What the show gave us is fucking beautiful imo. Porsche, after remembering Kinn kissed him, after witnessing him with his escort, after listening to Pete, Porsche takes all of that information and once again, leans into it. He goads Kinn, he flirts with him, he asks him questions not any normal bodyguard would ask. "If your brother didn't give me up, would you even think to take me back?" Any other guard wouldn't give a shit, but Porsche needs to know. There are so many reasons this could be, but I think the main factors are a need for approval, his newfound desire to protect this family, his attraction and curiosity for Kinn, and a need to prove himself as a competent man, which he is in all rights when he puts his mind to something.

There's also something to be said about an unspoken and underlying desire to be cared for, something Porsche has never really had for most of his life. He's always been the caretaker, for Che, for his uncle even. I know y'all noticed how good he is at taking care of Tankhun? It's because he's in a familiar roll, he knows how to do this with ease. Kinn on the other hand? Someone who doesn't need coddling and caring for? He doesn't know how to handle that, but after his initial rebellion, after seeing some different sides of Kinn, he wants back in. I think, subconsciously at this point, he sees how Kinn would take care of him and he wants it.

Yes, Porsche is drugged. Yes, being under the influence makes consent iffy, but it does not mean Porsche did not give his consent or wasn't able to. Porsche may not have given verbal consent, what he did do is give consent in every other possible way, and that is what Kinn responded to. Porsche joked with Kinn about wanting to see him naked, playfully slapped his hands away, and each time Kinn respectfully pulled back. Those examples are a clear lack of consent, and Kinn responded appropriately to them. But as soon as Porsche changed gears so did Kinn, still yet with reluctance because of Porsche's state and also his brewing feelings. It wasn't one-sided, it was a push and pull on both ends.

I know there will be some who disagree with me, and that's fine. I'm pulling from my own experiences here, and what I saw in episode 4 was consensual and not rape in the slightest. I've done a lot of things in my 30+ years that I'm not proud of, certainly, but even fall-over drunk, even sky-high on drugs, I was able to give and deny consent. Was it a good idea? Of course not. Do I have regrets? Some. But being young and reckless, well, me and Porsche seem to have that in common. I mean, Porsche is in his early twenties, and my early twenties were quite literally a blur of alcohol, drugs, parties, and bad (but fun) decisions.

Porsche was high as a kite, but he was also coherent. Porsche was the one pulling Kinn in. Porsche was the one verbally and non-verbally saying yes, please, I know you want this, I want it too can't you see? Let me show you. Not to mention, no sugarcoating, having sex when you're high is fucking awesome and, frankly, I don't think this is a first for Porsche. Also, I want to mention, and this is really important, if you throw up while you're high it does sober you up a bit. It dampens the experience and brings you back into your mind. I can say this with absolute certainty, I've done it several times.

Another thing I want to point out in regard to consent is Porsche never once told Kinn no. Never once did he tell him to stop. Porsche was smiling constantly, he was taking initiative, he was undressing Kinn himself, he wanted all of what happened. Will he regret it the next day? Probably. We will have to wait and see. But bottom line, the show changed this scene for the better, a lot better.

Anyway, this was less of an analysis and more of a thought word vomit 'cause I've been wanting to talk about this scene for weeks now, and I'm also sick and tired of people saying it was rape in the tags. Kinn did not rape Porsche. Porsche gave non-verbal consent, and yes it is possible to give consent when under the influence, even if it's not a good idea. This is not the hill we need to be dying on. Let's wait for VegasPete for that, shall we?

Please, do not fucking come for me. I'm down to discuss, but I will not respond to bullshit. Thanks. ❤️

[theepost]

My Video Game Journey | Discovering Games & Game Play

When COVID-19 hit and the whole world went into quarantine, it felt like almost every single young adult was playing Animal Crossing: New Horizons. People who never normally played video games were buying gaming consoles just to play. Personally, I have never found a game that I enjoy and want to continue playing until my fiancé suggested this game. 

I am probably speaking for a lot of people here, but New Horizons is addicting. Don’t get me wrong I definitely had times where I felt very burnt out, but I still played every single day with only a few days missed between now and when I started playing in May 2020. That is pretty consistent, especially for someone who has never really played video games on a regular basis.

Growing up with parents who are against video games.

When I was younger, my parents did not allow us to play video games. Don’t get me wrong we were allowed to take turns playing games on our family computer, but we were never allowed to have a gaming console. My parents felt it would be a distraction from school and homework.

I'm not a parent, but I know there is a lot of back and forth about this topic between parents. Some think it's completely fine and helps kids learn how to manage their time between school, homework, and their personal lives. Other parents allow it, but are very strict about when their kids can use it. Then their are parents who are completely against it.

The way I look at it, however you want to raise your kids and teach them life lessons and life skills is completely up to you. Obviously don't abuse your kids, but whether they are able to play video games or not is completely fine either way. It's the parents choice and no one should be giving them a hard time about it. Well, unless you are the kid who wants to play video games and your parents tell you that you can't. I think at that point there is no avoiding the tantrums.

Getting my first handheld gaming console.

When I was in middle school or when I just starting high school, I asked my parents for the Nintendo Game Boy Advance SP for Christmas. I remember thinking they were never going to get it for me because they were so against my sisters and I playing video games. To my surprise, "Santa" left me a Nintendo Game Boy Advance SP under the tree that year.

The games that came with the Game Boy was Crash Bandicoot: The Huge Adventure and Need for Speed: Porsche Unleashed. Since I had never really played any video games before I wasn't on top of what games were new and trendy at the time, however I absolutely LOVED Crash Bandicoot: The Huge Adventure. I remember when I finished all the levels, I played them all again so I could have a perfect score.

I purchased a few other games after getting my Game Boy and The Simpsons: Road Rage was another game I enjoyed. If anyone ever reads this they are probably going to be completely surprised by what I am about to say, but I never really watched The Simpsons growing up. I know a lot of people did, but I never really got into it. For some reason though, I wanted to get The Simpsons: Road Rage. I played that game a lot, but I do not think I played it nearly as much as Crash Bandicoot: The Huge Adventure.

Around my senior year of high school I slowly stopped playing on my Game Boy. I was either at school, doing homework, working, or hanging out with my friends. There wasn't as much free time to play anymore. I am now 25 years old and to this day I still have my Game Boy. Cannot remember the last time I played on it, but I do not think I will every get rid of it. It was my first handheld gaming console, there are a lot of good memories with it, and it still works! I see no reason why I should or need to get rid of it.

Discovering Animal Crossing.

After I stopped playing on my Game Boy, I never really found a game that I consistently played. Usually when I found a game I would play it for a couple weeks to a couple months then would grow very bored of it and eventually uninterested. However my fiancé was big into playing video games and was mainly playing them on his Xbox One. If he was growing tired of a game, he usually had another one lined up.

At one point the Nintendo 2DS was very popular and was sold out everywhere. My fiancé really wanted one so he could play Pokémon Moon. Somehow, I managed to get my hands on them and surprised him for Christmas. He played that game for a few months to a year then he slowly stopped playing. One day I asked him why he stopped playing and he explained that he just grew tired of it. I completely understood because I have also been in that situation before with the games I played on my Game Boy.

To avoid having the 2DS sit and collect dust, I asked if he wanted to get another game for it. He didn't seem interested in any of the 2DS games they had to offer at the time, but he suggested a game to me that he thought I would enjoy. That is when he told me about Animal Crossing: New Leaf and Animal Crossing: New Horizons.

At the time, there was only Animal Crossing: New Leaf and Animal Crossing: New Horizons was scheduled to be released in the next few months. I believe this was around the end of 2019 and New Horizons was scheduled to release in early 2020.

After doing some research on the game, I was VERY excited. I purchased Animal Crossing: New Leaf for the Nintendo 2DS and I played all the time. Any downtime I had, I was playing. I LOVED this game! After playing for awhile, Animal Crossing: New Horizons was released and I wanted it so bad.

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At the time, Nintendo was completely sold out of the Nintendo Switch everywhere. They were insanely popular because of the new game release and since everyone was forced to quarantine due to COVID-19 everyone was stuck inside with nothing to do but play video games. The only console that was available was the Nintendo Switch Lite.

What is the difference between the Nintendo Switch and the Nintendo Switch Lite? The Switch can used when connected to a TV in the docking station provided, as a handheld, or as a tabletop display by using the kickstand on the back of the switch. The Switch Lite can only be used as a handheld.

Since I was so excited for the game and wanted to play so badly, my fiancé got me the Switch Lite as an early birthday gift. I really wanted the Switch, but since I am so impatient and Nintendo was not clear on when they would restock I decided that the Switch Lite would be perfect because I was use to using a handheld anyway.

Playing Animal Crossing: New Horizons.

When I finally started playing the game I played nonstop for hours a day. Collecting supplies, catching bugs, digging up fossils, popping balloons, catching fish, planting trees, planting flowers, designing the island, inviting new villagers, expanding my home... You name it, I was doing it. Anything to get a five star “aesthetic” island that is considered Pinterest worthy.

Like a lot of other people, I have completely redesigned my island countless times. There is nothing better than completely changing everything up to design a newly styled island. I have also completely restarted my island two times. Which I mainly did this because I did not want to go through the whole island and tare everything down, I didn't really like the villagers I had, and I also just wanted to experience the game again from square one. I have always enjoyed designing spaces and have always been really into art, so it feels like this game was made for me.

My future with video games.

When COVID-19 hit and the whole world went into quarantine, it felt like almost every single young adult was playing Animal Crossing: New Horizons. People who never normally played video games were buying gaming consoles just to play. Personally, I have never found a game that I enjoy and want to continue playing until my fiancé suggested this game.

I am probably speaking for a lot of people here, but New Horizons is addicting. Don’t get me wrong I definitely had times where I felt very burnt out, but I still played every single day with only a few days missed between now and when I started playing in May 2020. That is pretty consistent, especially for someone who has never really played video games on a regular basis.

Now that I have been playing New Horizons for about a year now, I feel like I am going to continue to play it for awhile. I will admit when I first got the game, I was playing it way too much. Recently I have been so much better about it and only play for about an hour a day. On days I feel very lazy and do not really want to do anything, I'll play for longer than an hour, but it also depends on what I am doing in the game at that time. I'm just glad I'm not spending all day playing anymore.

For me, I think video games are fun and good to play in moderation and I am not planning on cutting video games out of my life anytime soon. I know there are people who play video games hours daily or do it for a living. After that, on completely the other side of things, there are people who have never played video games and completely hate the idea of video games. Then there are people out there that say that they have tried playing video games and never enjoyed it, but I personally think they just haven't found their game yet. If you happen to be one of those people and you are reading this, do not give up on finding your game! Once you find it, you will be so happy you kept looking.

At the end of the day, do whatever makes you happy. I am just another person on the internet telling their story. If anyone ends up reading this, I hope you enjoyed and continue to read my future posts. There isn't really a plan on when I will be posting or what I will be posting about, but I do know I will be posting regularly.

- E

[paceywittergayboatman]

Jess is the Gay Subtext Gilmores Gay Meta

Jess within the Gilmores Gay subtext is Rory’s mirror.  He has a lot in common with Rory: a negligent father who left, a mother who relies emotionally on him or isn't able to deal with her trauma and can't express love in an entirely healthy way, who are both into reading as an escape and a career path, both of there parents get remarried and have another kid and there are also legally cousins. He's also gay in the subtext(link at the bottom for my mini post on that.)

I’m gonna talk about episode 6.8. In which Rory and Jess talk and he essentially awakens something in Rory that brings back a part of herself that she lost. He also meets Logan but that for later on.

In the scene Jess and Rory talk after not seeing each other for awhile:

JESS: Yeah, and I didn't think you'd believe it if I didn't show it to you in person. (takes out a book and give it to her)

RORY: Well, colour me curious. A book. (reading the cover) "'The Subsect'...written by Jess Mariano."

JESS: It's no misprint.

RORY: You wrote a book?

JESS: A short novel.

RORY: You wrote a book?!

JESS: And through a fluke, I got it to these guys that have a small press, and they read it. I don't know if they were high or something, but they decided to publish it.

RORY: You wrote a book.

Subsect sounds a lot like subtext huh? By this time in the show he's already kind of admitted he's gay.(ill put a link at the end of this for that) So he does reflect her.

But then he goes to leave and lo and behold they run into Logan. We already know that Logan is gay given other things(link down at the bottom) So we know all the people in this scene are gay so put that into context makes this make sense. I’m gonna link the clip here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QnTsSPKyzG0.  Logan and Jess to put it plainly are eye fucking and Rory looks very umcomfortable:

RORY: No. Hey. When did you get back?

LOGAN: Couple hours ago.

RORY: Oh, I...I thought you were getting back tomorrow.

LOGAN: I thought I'd surprise you, Ace.

RORY: Well, I'm glad you did 'cause you get to meet my old friend, Jess. This is Logan, my boyfriend. Logan, this is Jess. He's in from out of town. (uncomfortable silence) Wow. That sounded so grown-up. We're at the age now where we say things like "in from out of town" and "old friend", 'cause when you're young, all your friends are new, and you have to get old to have old friends. (uncomfortable chuckling from Rory. Logan extends his hand to Jess)

LOGAN: How you doing? (they shake)

JESS: Okay.

RORY: We were just gonna go grab a bite to eat.

LOGAN: Great. Well, how about if we all go together. Is that okay?

JESS: Okay by me.

LOGAN: Good

RORY: All right. Good. We were actually at a loss for where to go, so you actually saved us.

LOGAN: Call me superman. (at Jess) Why don't you follow us.

JESS: Sure. (Logan puts his arm around Rory's shoulders and stears her to the passenger side of his car. Rory is a bit uncomfortable with the gesture)

Two things to note, Rory refers to jess as her friend, and Rory is in the script said to be uncomfortable. Which confirms my earlier theory.

They got to dinner and this shit gets gayer:

GAN: So...what do you do, Jess?

JESS: Oh, this and that.

LOGAN: Describe the "this". Describe the "that".

RORY: He writes.

LOGAN: You write? Impressive. What do you write?

JESS: Nothing important.

RORY: He wrote a book.

LOGAN: Oh, you penned the great American novel, Jess?

JESS: Wasn't quite that ambitious.

LOGAN: So, what are we talking here? Short novel? Kafka length or longer? Dos Passos, Tolstoy? Or longer? Robert Musil? Proust? I'm not throwing you with these names, am I?

JESS: You seem very obsessed with length.

LOGAN: I'm just trying to get a picture in my head, that's all.

RORY: It's a short novel.

The use of length is homoerotic. Despite Logan being classist Jess is still flirting with him.

More:

LOGAN: (at Rory) Any good?

RORY: I haven't read it yet.

LOGAN: Yet? Well, at least you'll have one reader. That's something.

JESS: Yeah.

LOGAN: You know, I should just write down all my random thoughts and stuff that happens to me and conversations I have and just add a bunch of "he said, she said"-'s, and get it published. You got a copy on you?

JESS: No.

LOGAN: You should send me a copy.

JESS: Sure. And where do I send it? The blond dick at Yale?

Ok so again the use of dick is very homoerotic. 

Jess is upset of course:

RORY: Jess, wait. (he stops and turns to look at her) Jess, I'm sorry.

JESS: We shouldn't have done this.

RORY: He's just in a bad way lately.

JESS: He's a jerk.

RORY: He was. In there, definitely. I'm so sorry.

JESS: I read that guy the second I saw him. I should have begged off.

RORY: Well, I didn't want you to.

So he read him, implies that Jess know Logan’s gay. He’s figured him out sexuality wise.

Theres more:

JESS: No, no. I mean with you. What's going on with you?

RORY: What do you mean?

JESS: You know what I mean. I know you better than anyone. This isn't you.

RORY: I don't know.

JESS: What are you doing? Living at your grandparents' place, being in the DAR, no Yale...why did you drop out of Yale?!

RORY: It's complicated.

JESS: It's not! It's not complicated.

RORY: You don't know.

JESS: This isn't you. This, you going out with this jerk, with the Porsche. We made fun of guys like this.

RORY: You caught him on a bad night.

JESS: This isn't about him. Okay, screw him. What's going on with you? This isn't you, Rory. You know it isn't. What's going on?

RORY: I don't know. I don't know.

So Jess being her mirror is acknowledged when he says he's knows her better than anyone.

Jess leaves and Rory and Logan fight:

LOGAN: Look, I'm sorry I came back early. I really messed things up here.

RORY: Jess wrote a book. He wrote a book, and you mocked him.

LOGAN: I did not mock him.

RORY: He's doing something.

LOGAN: Good. Fine. He's doing something. Everybody in the world's doing something. More power to him.

RORY: I'm not. I mean, what am I doing? I'm living with my grandparents.

LOGAN: That's temporary. Have a drink.

RORY: Temporary can turn into forever.

LOGAN: You're not living with the Gilmore’s forever.

RORY: I'm palling with my grandmother and being waited on by a maid. I come home, and my shoes are magically shined. My clothes are magically clean, ironed, and laid out. My bed is magically turned down. I'm in the DAR? I'm going to meetings and teas and cocktail parties?

Rory is having realization about her life because of what jess said to her. The fights not over yet:

LOGAN: Again, temporary. Have a drink.

RORY: And wasting my time partying and drinking, just hanging out doing nothing.

LOGAN: Whoa, whoa, whoa. (he gets up) Don't pull me into this.

RORY: I didn't say anything about you.

LOGAN: Yes, you did. Don't make me feel guilty for your drinking and partying. That's your choice. I'm not forcing you. When I ask you out, you can say no

RORY: It's all we do.

LOGAN: It's not all we do.

RORY: It's all you do.

LOGAN: Well, it's my prerogative, you know. You're damn straight. I'm gonna party. I'm gonna do it while I have the chance because come June, my life is over.

RORY: Oh, yes, your horrible life. Let's hear about it.

LOGAN: Got a week?

RORY: You have every door open to you. You have opportunities that anyone would kill for, including me.

LOGAN: No one's stopping you from making whatever you want happen. Go into journalism. Go into politics. Be a doctor. Be a clown. Do whatever you want.

RORY: It's not as easy when it's not handed to you.

LOGAN: Really? It's all so easy for me? (getting upset) I don't want that life. It's forced on me. You talk about all these doors being open? All I see is one door, and I'm being pushed through it. I have no choice. You try living without options.

Logan is stuck within a heterosexual playboy idea of himself that isn’t him. And so he parties to cope.

RORY: How hard are you fighting it?

LOGAN: I didn't tell you to quit Yale. You did that. I gave you one month, you went beyond that month, and it had nothing to do with me. It was all you. Now, you want to change? Change it, but don't blame me. Don't you dare blame me. You know what? Why don't you go off with John, Jack, whatever his name is?

He's not claiming responsibility because he's an asshole, but also he doesn't know how to be a boyfriend because he's gay. He's uncomfortable with Rory relying on him emotionally because he's viewing it as romantic and the gay guy in him doesn't like that. Rory's comment about him fighting is the text is noting his struggle with compulsory heterosexuality. Rory leaves and as we know she does break up with him and jess comments to her bring her back to herself. 

my other links 

https://jessandroryaregayfightme.tumblr.com/post/635171090892783616/doyle-paris-and-logan-and-the-milk-metaphor

https://jessandroryaregayfightme.tumblr.com/post/634824232687255552/yale-gay-subtext-in-gilmore-girls

https://jessandroryaregayfightme.tumblr.com/post/633010606083112960/logan-huntzberger-isnt-just-a-lazy-straight-man

https://jessandroryaregayfightme.tumblr.com/post/632166174651727872/so-its-time-for-another-homosexual-gilmore-girls

https://lupineluke.tumblr.com/post/634255134572036096/wait-but-youre-forgetting-the-most-important-part