#My Video Game Journey

[kimarisgundam]

My bf: Bought Cyberpunk 2077 cos he wanted to become a Night City legend. He wanted to be the cyberpunk

Me: Wants to play Cyberpunk 2077 cos I want to experience otome game mechanics with Johnny Silverhand. I don't want to be a legend, I just want to be Johnny's wife

^ omg someone on Tumblr told me that while I can't date Johnny officially... he has an affection meter. That's seriously otome game level stuff 🤣

[estapa-edwards]

MEDIA GIRL - L. HUGHES

paring: Luke Hughes x fem! reader

word count: 2.4k

requested? yes - luke falling in love with the media girl at the new jersey devil and finally asking her out

warnings: use of y/n. multiple pov

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I've been working closely with the Devils for the past couple of years, crafting content, capturing moments, and sharing the team's journey with fans around the world. It's a job I love, immersed in the world of hockey and surrounded by passionate individuals who share the same love for the sport.

One player, in particular, had caught my eye since he joined the team – Luke Hughes. As a rising star defenseman, he commanded attention on the ice with his skillful play and undeniable charisma. But it wasn't just his performance on the rink that intrigued me; there was something about his infectious smile and genuine personality that drew me in.

As the seasons passed and the rhythm of the hockey calendar dictated our lives, Luke and I found ourselves drawn together by the magnetic pull of our shared experiences. It was during those moments in between the action, the quiet lulls amidst the chaos, that our connection began to deepen.

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During interviews, our conversations would often veer off course, wandering into topics far beyond the scope of the game. Luke's genuine curiosity about my life outside of the arena was both surprising and endearing. We swapped stories about our childhoods, our favorite movies, and our shared love for good food. It was during these impromptu exchanges that I discovered the layers beneath the confident exterior of the hockey star – the insecurities, the dreams, the quirks that made him undeniably human.

Promotional shoots became an opportunity for us to explore our creative sides together. Whether we were brainstorming ideas for social media campaigns or striking poses for team merchandise, there was an undeniable synergy between us. Luke's playful nature brought out the best in me, inspiring me to push the boundaries of my creativity and embrace the spontaneity of the moment.

And then there were the social media campaigns – our bread and butter in the digital age of sports marketing. As the social media coordinator for the Devils, I was responsible for crafting content that resonated with fans and showcased the team's personality both on and off the ice. Luke, with his infectious energy and natural charisma, was the perfect partner in crime. Whether we were filming behind-the-scenes videos, hosting live Q&A sessions, or engaging with fans on Twitter, our dynamic duo captured the hearts of Devils fans everywhere.

But amidst the whirlwind of interviews, shoots, and campaigns, it was the quiet moments in between that I cherished the most. The stolen glances across a crowded room, the shared smiles that spoke volumes without a single word exchanged. It was during those moments that I felt the walls around my heart slowly crumbling, giving way to the possibility of something more than just friendship.

And as the days turned into weeks, and the weeks into months, I couldn't shake the feeling that Luke Hughes had become more than just a teammate or a colleague – he had become a permanent fixture in my life, a constant presence that I couldn't imagine living without. 

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As the final buzzer sounded, signaling the Devils' hard-fought victory on the ice, the arena erupted into a cacophony of cheers and applause. Luke and Y/N found themselves caught up in the swell of excitement and emotion, the electric atmosphere pulsating around them like a living, breathing entity.

Y/N's heart pounded in her chest as she watched with bated breath, her eyes fixed on Luke as he skated across the rink, his movements fluid and graceful, his arms raised triumphantly in the air. In that moment, he was more than just a hockey player – he was a hero, a symbol of strength and resilience in the face of adversity.

"That was incredible," Y/N exclaimed, her voice tinged with awe as she watched him bask in the glow of their win. The pride swelling in her chest was palpable, a surge of emotion threatening to overwhelm her as she realized the magnitude of what they had accomplished together.

Luke flashed her a grin, his eyes shining with adrenaline-fueled excitement. "Thanks, Y/N," he replied, his voice filled with genuine gratitude. "I couldn't have done it without your support."

Y/N felt her breath catch in her throat at his words, her heart skipping a beat as she absorbed the weight of his gratitude. It was a simple acknowledgment, a fleeting moment in the grand scheme of things, but to her, it meant everything. It was validation – validation of her hard work, her dedication, her unwavering belief in him and the team.

"You're welcome," she replied, her voice barely above a whisper. "I'll always be here to cheer you on, no matter what." Her words were a promise, a pledge of allegiance to the man who had captured her heart without even realizing it.

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It was during one particularly intense game that everything changed. The Devils were down a goal with minutes left on the clock, tension thick in the air as the crowd held its breath. In a dramatic turn of events, Luke managed to score the tying goal, sending the arena into a frenzy of cheers and applause.

Amidst the celebration, our eyes met across the crowded arena, a shared moment of triumph and exhilaration. And in that instant, I knew – I was falling for Luke Hughes.

But as the game ended and the crowd began to disperse, doubt crept into my mind. What if I was misreading the signs? What if our connection was nothing more than professional courtesy? I pushed the thoughts aside, focusing on the task at hand as I followed the team to the locker room for post-game interviews.

It was there, amidst the chaos of the locker room, that Luke sought me out. His eyes were bright with excitement, a victorious grin playing on his lips as he approached me.

"Hey, Y/N," he said, his voice filled with genuine warmth. "I just wanted to say thanks for all your hard work. That goal wouldn't have been possible without you."

I felt my cheeks flush with heat, a rush of emotions swirling inside me as I met his gaze. "It was all you out there," I replied, my voice barely above a whisper. "You played an amazing game."

Luke smiled, a mischievous glint in his eyes as he leaned in closer. "Hey, do you maybe want to grab dinner sometime? You know, to celebrate the win?"

My heart skipped a beat, the world around us fading away as I processed his words. Luke Hughes, asking me out on a date? It felt like a dream come true.

"Um, yeah," I stammered, a smile spreading across my face. "I would love to."

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LUKES POV

Luke Hughes sat in the locker room, his mind swirling with thoughts of the game ahead. The adrenaline coursed through his veins, his heart pounding with anticipation. But amidst the excitement of the upcoming match, there was another thought that lingered at the back of his mind – Y/N.

From the moment he first laid eyes on her, Luke knew there was something special about Y/N. It wasn't just her beauty or her infectious smile that drew him in; it was the way she carried herself, with a confidence and grace that was impossible to ignore. And as he got to know her better, he discovered that beneath the surface, there was a kindness and warmth that made her truly captivating.

As the seasons passed and their paths continued to intertwine, Luke found himself drawn to Y/N in ways he couldn't explain. There was a magnetic pull between them, a natural chemistry that made every interaction feel effortless and meaningful. Whether they were working together on promotional shoots or sharing moments of quiet camaraderie in between interviews, Luke felt a connection with Y/N that went beyond words.

But it wasn't just her professional prowess that impressed him – it was her passion for the game, her dedication to her craft, and her unwavering support for the team that truly captured his heart. In Y/N, Luke found a kindred spirit, someone who shared his love for hockey and understood the sacrifices he made to pursue his dreams.

And as he sat in the locker room, preparing to take the ice with his teammates, Luke couldn't shake the feeling that Y/N was more than just a colleague or a friend – she was someone he could see himself building a future with. But he also knew that crossing that line was fraught with uncertainty and risk. What if she didn't feel the same way? What if their relationship changed the dynamic of their team?

Luke Hughes leaned against the wall of the locker room, his heart pounding in his chest as he stole a glance at Y/N across the room. She was engrossed in conversation with a colleague, her laughter ringing out like music in the air. For a moment, he hesitated, his mind swirling with doubts and uncertainties. But then he remembered the way she had looked at him during the game, the spark of excitement in her eyes as they celebrated their victory together. And in that moment, he knew – he had to take a chance.

Pushing himself away from the wall, Luke crossed the room with determined strides, his heart racing with nerves as he approached Y/N. As he drew closer, he could feel the weight of his words hanging in the air, a lump forming in his throat as he struggled to find the right thing to say.

"Hey, Y/N," he said, his voice slightly shaky but filled with genuine warmth. "I just wanted to say thanks for all your hard work tonight. That goal wouldn't have been possible without you."

Y/N looked up at him, her eyes shining with surprise and gratitude. "Oh, it was nothing," she replied, her voice soft but sincere. "You played an amazing game out there."

Luke smiled, his confidence growing with each passing moment. "Listen, I was thinking," he began, his words tumbling out in a rush of excitement. "Would you maybe want to grab dinner sometime? You know, to celebrate the win?"

As he waited for her response, Luke felt a surge of nervous energy coursing through his veins. What if she said no? What if he had misread the signs and made a fool of himself? But then Y/N's face broke into a radiant smile, her eyes sparkling with anticipation.

"Um, yeah," she stammered, her cheeks flushing with color. "I would love to."

A wave of relief washed over Luke as he took in her words, a wide grin spreading across his face. "Great," he said, unable to contain his excitement. "How about tomorrow night? I know this great Italian place downtown."

Y/N nodded eagerly, her smile widening with each passing second. "Sounds perfect," she replied, her voice filled with genuine enthusiasm.

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The soft glow of candlelight bathed the cozy Italian restaurant in a warm, inviting ambiance as Luke and I sat across from each other, our conversation flowing effortlessly like a river winding its way through the night. From the moment we arrived, there had been a palpable energy between us – a sense of anticipation that hung in the air like a promise waiting to be fulfilled.

As we sipped on glasses of red wine and savored bites of delicious pasta, the outside world faded away, leaving only the two of us lost in our own little bubble of bliss. Luke's laughter filled the air, a melodic symphony that echoed in my ears like music to my soul.

"So, tell me more about yourself," he said, his eyes sparkling with genuine curiosity. "What do you like to do when you're not busy running the Devils' social media empire?"

I couldn't help but smile at his playful tone, the warmth of his gaze sending shivers down my spine. "Well, I'm a bit of a bookworm," I confessed, feeling a rush of excitement as I shared a piece of myself with him. "I love getting lost in a good novel, especially anything with a bit of mystery or romance."

Luke nodded, his expression thoughtful as he leaned in closer. "I can relate to that," he admitted, his voice low and intimate. "There's something magical about getting lost in a story, isn't there? It's like you're transported to a whole other world."

As the night wore on and the hours slipped away, our conversation deepened, weaving through topics both trivial and profound. We talked about our hopes and dreams, our fears and insecurities, laying bare our souls like open books for the other to read.

And then, amidst the laughter and the shared moments of connection, there was a shift in the air – a subtle change that left me breathless with anticipation. As Luke reached across the table to refill my wine glass, his touch sent a jolt of electricity coursing through my veins, igniting a fire deep within my heart.

"Y/N," he began, his voice soft but filled with conviction. "There's something I need to tell you."

I held my breath, my heart pounding in my chest as I waited for him to continue. In that moment, the world around us seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of us suspended in time, lost in a moment of shared intimacy.

"I know we've only known each other for a relatively short time," Luke continued, his eyes locked with mine, "but from the moment I met you, I felt something special – something I've never felt before."

I felt a rush of warmth flood my cheeks as I listened to his words, my heart swelling with emotion. "Luke," I whispered, my voice barely above a whisper. "I feel it too."

And then, without hesitation, he reached across the table and took my hand in his, his touch sending a wave of tingles dancing across my skin. "Y/N," he said, his voice filled with emotion. "I know this might sound crazy, but I think I'm falling for you."

Tears welled up in my eyes as I gazed into his, the depth of his feelings mirrored in the depths of his soul. In that moment, I knew – I was falling for him too, falling harder and faster than I ever thought possible.

And as we sat there, hand in hand, lost in the glow of the candlelight and the warmth of each other's presence, I couldn't help but feel like the luckiest girl in the world. For in Luke Hughes, I had found not just a teammate or a colleague, but a kindred spirit – someone who saw me for who I truly was and loved me all the more for it.

And as our eyes met across the table, a silent vow passed between us – a promise to cherish this moment, this connection, for as long as our hearts beat as one.

[dollfaceksj]

schemin’ | myg (m) 10

⇝ pairing: yoongi x fem!reader

⇝ summary: Your dream comes true when world renowned music producer and CEO of D-Town Records, Agust D, discovers you in the underground rap scene and wants to sign you to his label. It all goes well for a few months and you can’t believe you’re actually living your dream. However, things start to shift when Agust D offers to do something for you and you can’t stop thinking about it for weeks to come. Your boyfriend doesn’t like it one bit.

⇝ genre: angst ; smut ; slowburn

⇝ category: series

⇝ chapter warnings: explicit sexual content, flashback, yoongi pov, unprotected sex(be responsible), protected sex, spanking; hairpulling, timeskip, seokjinnie cameo again cus i miss him, soft yoongi and soft reader, rough fucking, oral sex (f. rec), mentions of daniel, dom!yoongi, sub!reader, pussy slap, faceriding, minors dni

wordcount: 8.2k

a/n: ahhh we’ve made it to the finale… i can’t believe we’ve made it. thank u so much for this journey! i can’t believe we’ve built a community for this and i love every single on you. i hope you stick around for my upcoming fics too <3 thank u!!

— m.list & concept video

<- previous

chapter 10: schemer

A cry ripped through her throat as his big hand came down to her asscheek in a rough slap, the skin of her ass recoiling from the impact.

“I’m gonna need you to be quiet, baby.” His low voice rang in her ears like a blaring alarm from right behind her but she simply did not have the energy to look back at him, the wooden surface against her cheek was a constant reminder that she was playing a dangerous game.

Her pearly whites sank into her bottom lip, keeping it trapped and using it as a sound barrier for her pathetic moans and gasps.

He hardly wasted any time as he pushed his shaft right into her wet pussy, the ridges and veins of his dick grinding against her slick walls as he fully bottomed out. He let out a low groan at how tightly she wrapped around him, his hands traveled up her thighs to hold her hips firmly as he slowly started thrusting into her, aware of the time they didn’t have.

Her own hand reached up, fingers draping over her swollen lips to keep herself as quiet as possible as his pounding got rougher, the head of his dick just barely grazing her cervix with each thrust.

“Yoongi!” she cried into her hand, her other arm stretched out behind her to press it flat into his abdomen in an attempt to get him to slow down.

He simply paid no attention to her pleas of slowing down, if anything, his hips slammed into her ass even harder. “I told you to be quiet.”

Her manicured nails dug into the skin of her cheeks in hopes that it silenced her pathetic sobs. She put more pressure on her other hand – that’s pressing against his lower stomach – but that time, he slapped her hand away and the pace of his hips never faltered, his rock hard dick still intruding in her pussy. “Now you want to act like you didn’t tease me all throughout today’s meeting?”

“I didn’t even say anything!” She tried to defend herself, voice muffled by her hand as she recalled the events of 20 minutes ago. He still heard it loud and clear, though.

She wasn’t even supposed to be in that meeting but she slithered her way in and he paid the price of letting her stay. He should’ve known better.

“You didn’t have to say a single word, that look in your eyes and rubbing up against my legs with your foot in the middle of an important meeting is enough to piss me off and you know that.” He mercilessly continued to pound her hip bones into the edge of his desk, one of his hands reaching for her throat from the back and lifting her head off the surface.

He elegantly grabbed a fistful of her long hair and tugged her toward him, which made her arch her back and throw her head back in the process. He loved seeing her like that.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m–” she repeated, but her pleas were too loud for Yoongi’s liking. He quickly brought his other hand up, draping it over her own hand on top of her mouth to keep her quiet.

He leaned forwards a bit, soft lips grazing the shell of her ear. His heavy breaths directly hitting her ear made a jolt of electricity travel up her spine and turned her legs into jelly.

“And now you’ve made me bend you over my $20.000 desk like a slut. Tsk,” he grumbled in her ear, his dick rubbing up and down her walls so good that it had tears rolling down the sides of her face.

She shifted her eyes to their corners, wanting a glimpse of what he looked like right now.

The oxygen in her lungs got squeezed out the moment she realized he was already staring back into her eyes, his dark gaze so intense that it made her knees buckle like two sticks of spaghetti snapping under the slightest bit of pressure.

He reached around her hip and started rubbing at her clit in that pattern he knows she likes. He knows her well. Really well.

Because it didn’t take long for her stomach to start twisting from the inside out, walls clenching around his shaft to let him know she was mere moments away from her climax.

“Cum on my dick, babe,” he whispered in her ear, fingers and hips still synchronized in the way they pleased her.

“Fuck,” she whimpered as the knot finally snapped, her orgasm hitting her like a train.

Her legs shook, struggling to hold her weight but Yoongi wasn’t going to let her get away that easily. He tightly held onto her hips, continuing to roughly pound his hips into her ass to chase his own high.

She was still sprawled out on the desk, legs shaking and face pressed into the wooden surface. It only took Yoongi a few more thrusts until he was emptying out his balls inside of the condom, groaning silently when his orgasm showers his body in pure and utter bliss.

After a few more lazy thrusts, he pulled out and took a minute to catch his breath before he snapped the condom off and discarded it. He returned to her fucked out frame on top of his desk and cleaned her up with the wet tissues he keeps in his office – because that wasn’t the first or last time this happened.

She sighed in content as he helped her up, brushing some of her bangs out of her face. She simply winked at him as she pulled down her skirt, smoothing out the creases.

“Dinner?” she asked as chirpy as ever, absentmindedly trying to put his stuff back on his expensive desk.

Yoongi, however, stayed quiet for a few moments. Thinking. Stroked his chin. Considered it. “I want to but I can’t.”

She pouted, brushing her hair off her shoulder to appear casual about it. “Hm, too bad. Plans already?”

“Yeah,” he said with a nod. “Namjoon told me I might want to check out these rookie battle rappers in some shabby, rundown hotel. They’re having another show tonight and I want to go.”

She raised her eyebrows and rubbed his shoulder, gently squeezing and massaging it. “Then, I think you should go. Who knows, maybe your new pop star is amongst them,” she said as she leaned up to press a kiss to his cheek. “Tell you what,” she paused, “When you finally sign a contract with someone new, dinner will be on me.”

His onyx eyes shifted to her brown eyes, bright and big as they twinkled at him like they used to.

He chuckled, “Okay, deal.”

She planted one last peck on his lips before spinning on her heels and heading out. “See you soon, Yoongi.”

He watched as she strutted out of his studio with a sway to her hips, his head tilted to the side and his eyes lingering on her ass.

“See you, Sarang.”

•••

His eyes trailed your glistening skin as you stood face to face with your opponent, yellow spotlights hitting your face and rhymes leaving your mouth continuously.

You seemed like you were made to be there, made to have the public eye glued to you, made to be seen and heard. You were on fire, bar after bar, the entire room yelling and roaring every time a punch line left your lips.

Instantly, Yoongi knew he had to have you. You were made to be great and he made great things. He wanted you – and he was going to get you.

He returned weekly, hoping and praying to see you in action. You were vicious, claws and fangs out for blood. He could tell how passionate you were just by a single glimpse. The fire in your eyes, the venom in your voice, the determination in your body language.

You were the one.

He had to have you.

As you hopped off the stage, Yoongi’s security went and talked the security into letting him see you for a moment. As soon as they heard the name ‘Agust D’, there wasn’t an ounce of hesitation, not even for a moment.

And that’s how Yoongi walked into the backroom you were in, talked you into coming to his record label and a week later you were sitting in his studio, answering his questions.

He hates having to think this way but as a businessman, he can’t help it.

Aside from your incredible talent and skills, Yoongi couldn’t look besides the fact that you were also just a very attractive woman. Young, attractive woman + insane talent = money and success.

Yoongi couldn’t wait to sign you. He wanted to help you make your dream come true but he could also taste the money you were going to bring on the tip of his tongue. And he surely was excited.

However, the single conversation he had with you in his studio made him reconsider.

The things you said, the way you said them, the way they stuck with him.

Sure, a lot of people have said that they want to be like him. But your specific usage of the words ‘bend to my will’ intrigued him.

What were you thinking? You had just been swooped off the floor of a dirty backroom and you wanted to be on his level just so anything and everything would bend to your will?

He was fascinated yet conflicted by the fire in your eyes and the determination in your voice.

But then again, that was exactly what he liked about you.

His professionalism made him doubt you because of your lack of fear of consequences but his soul was intrigued by it. However, he also had a feeling that you were special, someone that could not be contained or silenced by any contract or industry standard.

He was going to love testing that theory.

He didn’t expect to have you signed that day, let alone 10 minutes into your first official rendezvous.

He quickly realized he just signed a deal with a fire starter, a daredevil. He couldn’t help but be wary yet intrigued by all the trouble you were going to bring. He was looking forward to taking on the challenge of trying to control someone this reckless.

He couldn’t help but be allured by you.

•••

He walked in and spotted Sarang right away, strutting over to her. “Sorry I’m late, traffic is crazy.” He quickly sat down across from her, watching her swirl the water in her glass after sipping from it.

“Don’t worry, I haven’t been here for very long myself.” She placed her glass back down near her utensils. “So, are you late because it took your new star a lot of convincing to sign to you?”

Yoongi glanced down at her empty plate, his eyes lingering for a moment as your face popped up in his mind. “No, actually,” he started, “she needed absolutely no convincing. She… signed the contract 5 minutes into our conversation without even reading through it.”

She blinked at him, fingers tracing her silver utensils and her leg slowly crossing over her other underneath the table. She clearly wanted to express her opinion about that but for some reason decided not to. “Well, how do you feel about her? Do you think she’s your next big thing?”

His eyes trailed up to hers after a while, thinking about the situation and his afternoon. “Yeah,” he said, no hesitation present. “Yeah, I do. I haven’t seen anyone with potential like her in years. She might become one of my favorites.”

She slowly nodded her head as he talked, taking the information in. “How is she as a person? You know the public eye pays a lot of attention to these artists’ behaviors and actions, especially if they’re women.”

She brought her glass back up to her matte lips, taking another sip whilst keeping eye contact with him over the rim of her glass.

His eyes stayed glued to hers as if he could see your face and personality in her eyes. He brought his shoulders up in nonchalance and dropped them right after. “She seems pretty hard to deal with.”

“Hm,” she hummed as she leaned forwards on her elbows. “What makes you say that?”

“She’s just,” he mumbled, trailing off as he tried to put it into words. “I don’t like her that much. She’s daring. Unpredictable. Reckless.” He reached for his own glass, taking a big sip of water – which he needed after that afternoon with you. He didn’t like how you caught him off guard multiple times and even almost had him speechless with an excruciatingly dry throat.

Her eyebrows shot up, creating small wrinkles on her forehead that were hidden by her bangs. “Hm.”

He shook his head as the events from earlier that day dawned on him slowly. “I mean, who just signs a contract without reading it or asking for clarifications?”

Yoongi went on a ramble, talking about what he disliked about you and what he’s worried about.

Sarang simply listened. Didn’t interrupt him. Let him talk. Silently nodded her head.

“Hm,” she hummed again after his ramble came to an end, a small smirk on her lips. “She’s going to grow on you.”

He nearly snorted and coughed up all the water he drank. Did she not listen to a single word he just said? He disliked everything about you aside from what was going to bring him money. “What?”

Her eyes trailed his face, committing his body language to memory. “Nothing, just an observation. I think you’re going to grow really fond of her.”

At that, his brows pinched together in an annoyed frown. “What makes you say that?”

She scanned the room before glancing back at him and nonchalantly shrugging her shoulders. “I know you well.”

Yoongi had no rebuttal for that and they moved onto the next topic.

•••

Months had passed and you were definitely getting worked to the bone. It wasn’t easy but you also didn’t want anything that came easily. Especially this dream that Yoongi had served to you on a silver platter. Of course you were going to have to wash and polish that damn platter every single day but the dish that was served on it made your mouth water.

Contrary to your own belief that he absolutely hated your personality (he did) and just kept you around because you were skilled, you’d be surprised that wasn’t actually the truth.

That was half true.

The CEO in him absolutely fucking hated you as a person. You were an impulsive, annoying, unpredictable, reckless brat. He hated not knowing what to expect, he hated not being in control.

But his soul… he couldn’t help but find you alluring.

In a direct contradiction to the CEO in him, him as a person loved not knowing what to expect from you. You always knew how to catch him off guard with your antics, with your words, even with your music.

You quickly became one of his favorites but he made sure not to show that.

In the months that you worked for him, he knew he wasn’t the easiest on you. Maybe he was the hardest on you of all, always critiquing you. He loved your music but he needed you to know the industry wasn’t going to be any easier on you than he was.

Over the months, he grew fond of you but that it’s not like he went any easier on you. That was it.

Well, was it, though?

Because when he stepped forwards and said he would film the music video with you, he’d shocked himself. What the fuck was he thinking? He could have an actor in the building within 10 minutes with a snap of his damn fingers!

He didn’t like it. He was losing control of himself, something he worked so hard to have over you, the most impulsive brat on earth.

And what he hated even more was how much he enjoyed being in that damn music video with you. Shooting with you, having that title of boss and employee stripped away and for once, it didn’t feel like a bad thing to want to be close to you.

All that guilt washed away that day.

After that, he promised himself to take it easy. To distance himself from you because you were slowly starting to slither your way into the cracks of his soul that he allowed to exist when he offered to be in your video.

That didn’t last long when the company got together to watch the video. Couldn’t help himself. Asked if there was anything you wanted to talk about.

He wanted you to be the first one to give in so bad so he could stop feeling guilty. So he could stop feeling bad about thinking of his employee this way.

Then he confronted you. Then he caught you watching the scenes, several times.

He knew you were right there with him, he knew you wanted it as much as he did.

But he refused to take that first step. He didn’t want you to feel obligated or like he was using his authority to make you consent.

But when you kept watching those scenes, he had enough. Done.

He kept pressing you because he had been waiting since the start for a moment to watch you break. If he could accomplish that by doing something this villainous, then so be it.

He wanted to see you become a squirming kitten – under his gaze, at his command, in his presence – compared to the raging tiger you usually were.

He loved the real power he had over you for the first time. He finally had control over the daredevil he signed all those months ago. Even if it wasn’t in the way he initially intended.

And if he could get you to break by stealing your USB, then so be it.

•••

present

Rolling over, he’s faced with your bare back and the moon shining down on you, casting shadows on your body in all the right places. He scoots closer to you, finger tracing your spine and he watches as you slightly shiver underneath his touch.

It’s been a few months since you’ve started sleeping with Yoongi regularly, sneaking around and being secretive. You’ve debuted with your album, you’re in the public eye, you’re doing interviews.

“What are you thinking about?” he asks quietly, pressing a soft kiss to your shoulder.

You glance at him over your shoulder and jut out your bottom lip, slightly shrugging. “I feel bad that I don’t feel bad.”

He blinks at you a few times and then realizes what you’re talking about. “Fuck that guy, seriously, Y/N.”

You sigh, not liking the conflicting feeling in your chest as you roll onto your back. “I’m not a slut, you know. I just–”

“Hey,” he snaps, tapping your shoulder. “I don’t think you are. When I say these things to you or call you names, it’s purely for our enjoyment. You shouldn’t listen to what that bastard says either.”

It’s true, Yoongi would never think that of you and he would never want you to view yourself like that. You are in a shit relationship and Yoongi’s giving you a safespace, that’s all it is. So what if you like being called a slut by him? So what if he thinks it’s hot as fuck when you desperately need his dick inside of you?

“I know, I know, it’s just,” you sigh, rubbing your forehead as you stare at the ceiling. “I don’t know. I just feel a bit conflicted.”

“That’s because you’re human.” He falls back onto the mattress and stares at the ceiling too, both your bodies covered by his thin white sheets.

You turn your head to look at him. “What do you think about all this?”

He continues to stare at the ceiling, though, avoiding your gaze. “I think you should just forget about all of that and be in this moment with me.”

It’s silent for a few moments before he turns his head and glances down at you, to see you still staring at him.

You share an intense staredown and if he wasn’t a little bitch, he’d admit just your eyes staring into his has his heart beating in his throat.

“Be in this moment with you? You just fucked me in your kingsize bed, give me a break,” you laugh as you sit up, allowing the sheets to drop down and expose your bare skin.

He chuckles in response and traces your spine with his finger, drawing circles on your back and ribs. “If you’re down for round two, I am too.”

“You’re crazy,” you mumble and shake your head but clearly seem to be considering it.

He notices it right away and sits up, leaning into you and pressing soft kisses to the side of your face and down your neck, prepping your collarbones in kisses and licks.

“Yoongi–”

The sound of your phone ringing snaps you right out of the moment. You glance over at your phone on his nightstand.

[9:53PM]

Daniel

Incoming call

“Fuck,” you whisper as you reach for your phone. You haven’t seen him or heard from him since breakfast.

“Hey,” you say as you accept the call. Yoongi simply continues to kiss down your neck, clearly not giving a fuck that you’re on the phone with your boyfriend.

“Hey, where are you?”

“Oh, I, uh–”

Your phone gets snatched out of your hand and you’re too late to retrieve it when Yoongi puts the phone to his ear. “Hey, Daniel, my man. We’re having a late night dinner with the entire company. I promise, we’ll have her home by a reasonable time.”

Yoongi pushes you back by your shoulders when you try to snatch the phone back until you’re fully lying down, his free hand coming up to fondle your breast.

“Huh? Are you– wait, Agust D? Oh! Sorry, man. No, take your time, really. I was just wondering where she was. My bad, don’t have too much fun without me.”

He licks around your hardened nipples and simply hums in response, his free hand now traveling down your body to cup your sex, making you quietly gasp.

“Don’t worry, mate, we’re thinking about you,” Yoongi says as he glances up at you, a mischievous glint in his eyes as he winks, mouth still lathering your breast in kisses and saliva.

“Alright, thanks, man. See you.”

Yoongi doesn’t even say bye back as he hangs up and throws your phone aside, tugging the sheets further down your body to expose more of you to him.

“Yoongi,” you whisper-whine but show no efforts or intentions of stopping him.

He simply continues to tease your nipples with his mouth, your lip almost bursting from the pressure you’re putting on it with your teeth.

“So what if you’re a slut?” he asks as he glances up at you. “You’re a slut only for me, aren’t you?”

He’s saying it with a certain caution in his tone, like he’s testing the waters to make sure you’re okay with it.

“Yeah,” you reply breathily, watching him press soft kisses to your chest and down the valley of your breasts. His shoulders visibly drop in relief and then he rolls off of you, hands tracing and gripping your thighs until you’re automatically spreading your legs for him.

He softly exhales through his nose, something you can only describe to be a chuckle as your eyes intently watch him tease your folds with the tips of his fingers.

“Yoongi,” you whine.

“I already fucked you today. Why are you still this needy?” He hums after asking you a question he clearly knows the answer to, eyeing your sex before glancing up at you.

Unlike what he expected you to do, you simply say, “Because I like being with you.”

He blinks at you in confusion for a few moments before sitting up and gently closing your legs. “You know we don’t have to have sex to just enjoy each other’s company, right?”

Guilt bubbles up the back of his throat. Is that really the vibe he’s been giving you?

“Oh, I know.” You get comfortable against his pillows. “But you also make me really horny. I don’t know what it is but I just constantly want you inside of me.”

Well.

That’s enough for blood to instantly rush to Yoongi’s dick, hardening by the second as he watches your innocent face with that mischievous glint in your eyes.

His eyes drop down to your lips, so kissable and so pouty that it drives him insane. All he wants to do all day is kiss you, listen to you speak, maybe even fuck your face.

He tries to hide his boner but ultimately fails when your eyes drop to his groin and take notice. “Does that make you hard?”

He merely grunts in annoyance, spreading your legs again and pulling your body down to him.

“Shut up,” he mumbles, using his thumb to gently tease your clit. “I also really like being with you.”

That makes the corners of your mouth curl up, eyes hooded and screaming for attention. “Hm, I bet you do.”

He has to keep his eye from twitching. Just as he thought you were going to be obedient and easy to deal with for once, you prove him wrong.

And he can’t help but fucking love it.

“You keep up that attitude and I’m not giving you anythi–”

“You say that but your dick is practically begging for attention, look at it.” You nod toward his erection. “You can’t really hold it over my head if you’re also dying to put it in.”

You are so fucking insufferable.

All Yoongi does is slowly nod his head, clearly not enjoying the way you’re basically mocking him but he lets you run your mouth.

“I wonder if you talk this way to him,” he muses as he pushes your thighs back toward your torso, earning a gasp from you.

“What?”

“Is it because you know I won’t let you get off easy?” he starts, rubbing shapes onto your inner thighs.

“I just–”

“I was thinking out loud, be quiet.” He gets onto his knees in front of you, between your legs. Your eyes drop down to his erection, hard and screaming for attention.

“Make me,” you fire back.

Slap.

His hand comes down on your poor sex, making your legs jolt. “Ow! That hurt, Yoongi!”

“Watch your mouth.”

He shakes his head, his hand dropping down to spread your wetness all over your sex. You’re still wet from the last time he fucked you so you literally don’t need any prep but you know he’s not doing it to prep you, he’s doing it to tease you.

“But I want you to put me in my place,” you sigh quietly, legs gently jerking whenever his fingers inch closer to your pussy.

He simply laughs. “I know you do.” He runs his fingers up your slit, collecting your arousal and shaking his head in mock disappointment. “I’ve known that for a long time, you know.”

You huff quietly, crossing your arms over your chest like a child that wanted a blue cup to drink out of instead of a green one.

“You don’t know me,” you scoff, trying to act like his touch doesn’t have the effect on you that it does but his eyes take notice of the clench in your thighs and the goosebumps on your skin.

“That so?” he muses, eyes roaming your body. “You think I don’t know you? What you want?”

“Hm.”

“You think I don’t know you’re constantly provoking me because you just want me to give into you? Like you’re the person that finally got me to break out of character?” he says as he moves to the side of your body, lips closing in on your neck and fingers teasing your sex as he coats your collarbones in kisses.

You merely grunt in response.

“That you’re one of the only ones that got to see Yoongi instead of Agust D?”

You roll your head back, making him kiss up your throat and press kisses to your jaw. “It makes you feel special, doesn’t it?”

You tense under him and he notices instantly but he doesn’t say anything else and neither do you. At least not for a few moments.

“So what if it does? Don’t you feel special that I’m in your bed right now instead of my boyfriend’s? Aren’t you glad to know?”

This makes Yoongi pull away from your neck to glance at you. There’s a glint of something in your eyes that Yoongi can’t quite put his finger on but that’s not what made him pull away.

It’s because Yoongi thought of something.

“What?” you ask, having taken notice of Yoongi’s switch in demeanor.

He quickly shakes his head and says, “Nothing, it’s nothing. Just relax for me.”

You simply stare at him in confusion before relaxing again and keeping your legs spread while he pushes his middle and ring finger into you. You quietly whimper as he starts massaging your walls, legs jolting whenever he curls his fingers to assault your g-spot.

“You’re so needy,” he mumbles, leaning in to press his lips against yours whilst he pumps his fingers into you at a slow, insanity-inducing pace.

“Do you like it when I’m needy for you?” you innocently mewl, knowing damn well it’s you that would like the thought of that.

“Hm,” he pauses, “I do, actually.”

There’s more where that came from as he keeps whispering more of these things to you, ending his night by fucking you into his mattress for a second time that day.

•••

“Give me my phone!” you whine as Seokjin holds it further out of your reach.

“No, you’re going to tell me everything,” he declares, sliding your phone into his pocket as he waves a waiter over to come take your order.

You groan and childishly slouch in your seat, crossing your arms over your chest. “Tell you what?”

He simply shrugs his shoulders. “You and your boss. And don’t tell me nothing’s going on because I know what you look and act like when you’ve been getting fucked right.”

You press your lips together, trying to ignore the tingle in your stomach.

Right, Seokjin used to fuck you good and he’s still really attractive but so what? You broke it off years ago, there’s no reason for his words to have that much of an impact on you.

You stomp on his foot underneath the table. “Don’t talk like that.”

He screeches in pain and then laughs, waving his hand at you in dismissal. “So? Are you gonna tell me or what?”

You snap, “What is there to tell? We’ve been fucking for a few months now. Happy?”

His lips curl up into a smirk. “I knew it.”

You roll your eyes and shut your mouth once the waiter arrives, introducing himself and silently taking your order.

“How’d you break up with Daniel?” Seokjin asks once the waiter leaves, taking a sip of his glass of water.

Your throat dries up in an instant, urging you to take a sip from your own water. “Uh,” you mumble, eyes glued to the utensils in front of you.

Your eyes shift up to his and you watch in real time as the realization sets. “You haven’t, have you?” he asks quietly, a slight tilt to his head and his brows slightly pinched together.

You sigh. “It just… kind of happened and I just kept delaying it. I’m gross, I know.”

He shakes his head. “That’s not what I mean. I’m talking about the fact that you’re in the public eye now. You need to be careful.”

Oh.

He’s right.

This early on in your career and having a cheating scandal would obliterate any dream you have left. You would never be able to bounce back, especially when the other man is someone with a reputation and fanbase like Agust D.

“Yeah… You’re right. I know. I’ll have that talk with him one of these days.”

You enjoy your meal with Seokjin and by the time you’ve made it to dessert, you’ve realized he still has your phone.

Once you have it back in your possession, you excuse yourself and decide to call Yoongi once you walk onto the parking lot.

“Hey,” you say once he picks up.

“Hey. Everything okay?”

“Yeah… yeah. It’s just that, uh,” you sigh, trying to think of a way to say this. “My friend has brought something to my attention.”

“Hm. Which is?���

“I have a reputation to uphold now, now that I’m in the public eye, Yoongi.”

“Slow down,” he starts, sounding slightly panicked. “Meaning what?”

“Meaning I need to break up with him, if word got out about a cheating scandal, my career would be over–”

“Stop, stop, stop.” He’s silent for a few moments. “Meet me at my place in an hour, okay?”

You sigh and rub your hairline, looking up at the night sky in distress. “Okay.”

“Okay. See you soon.”

With that, you end the conversation and stand there for a moment longer before heading back inside and finishing your meal with Seokjin. He never once judges you or brings it up again.

Well, he’s the one that kind of liked the idea of you and Yoongi but still. That doesn’t mean he should approve.

•••

You make your way to Yoongi’s home, typing the password into the keypad and strutting down the stone path leading to his front door.

Before you even knock, the door swings open, revealing Yoongi in a bathrobe with damp hair and a toothbrush in his mouth.

Déjà vu.

He steps aside right away, wordlessly inviting you in. You do so and simply follow him all the way to his room, a path you’ve quickly memorized.

He walks into his bathroom and rinses his mouth as you drop your purse onto his bed and follow him into the bathroom, leaning against the doorframe and looking at him through the mirror.

You start, “So?”

He dries his mouth and turns to look at you. “So.”

You blink at him in confusion. “What do you think? Should I just bite the bullet and break it off tonight?”

To your surprise, he slowly turns around and looks at you whilst leaning against his sink. “No.”

Huh?

What is he on about?

Your brows pinch together. “What do you mean ‘no’? You literally pushed me to break up with him.”

He slowly nods his head as he rubs his chin, his robe slowly coming undone and showing you part of his chest. Fuck.

Concentrate.

“I did but,” he pauses and runs a hand through his damp hair before turning around to face the mirror again and applying some moisturizer to his face. “I think you shouldn’t.”

“Yoongi, my career–”

“Your career will be fine. That’d only be real bad if it did get out, which it won’t.” He blends the cream into his skin.

You think about his words for a moment. “I don’t understand why we’d have to risk it, though.”

“Because,” he says as he turns around. “Having him in the picture will keep those noisy people out of our business.”

Huh?

Your brows pinch together once his words reach your ears. “Meaning what?”

He exhales and takes a moment before walking up to you. “Meaning, if you’re still dating, people will focus on your relationship. The public eye loves celebrity romance, don’t ask why because I wish I knew.”

He places his hands on your hips, pulling you closer. “Their eyes being focused on you and him would mean no one would have the time to nitpick whatever we got going on. It’s a lot easier for them to link you to your boss when you’re a beautiful, young woman that also happens to be single.”

Oh.

You hadn’t thought of it like that.

Huh.

Okay then.

So, long story short; just keep schemin’.

You figure that’s what he thought of when he suddenly paused last night, the time you were in the middle of getting freaky.

You nod slowly, your eyes trailing his jawline and down the column of his throat.

What a son of a bitch.

He doesn’t have the time to react when you suddenly grab him by the collar of his white bathrobe and push him towards his bed, watching as he falls against his soft mattress.

He leans back on his elbows and looks up at you with a frown on his brows but he doesn’t say anything else.

You quickly rid yourself of your jacket, tossing it somewhere across the floor and then make work of ditching your shirt and pants.

His frown turns into an amused expression, leaning further back as he watches you strip in front of him.

You quip, “Memories?”

“Of my strip club days? Kinda.” He continues to smirk, tongue peeking out at the corner of his mouth.

Bastard.

You kick his foot and he simply laughs, still watching you undress for him.

“Get rid of that,” you mumble as you point at his robe, stepping out of your pants in the meantime and kicking them across the floor.

He simply chuckles as he undoes his robe and shows you his naked figure, dick instantly slapping his stomach.

Damn.

“Fuck,” you whisper as you watch him grab his dick, pumping himself as he watches you intently. You quickly ditch your bra and panties before walking up to him, reaching for his dick.

But he shakes his head and slaps your hand away. “Come sit on my face.”

Holy shit.

“Uh,” you murmur, scratching the back of your neck. “I’m not sure you–”

“Y/N, babe, shut the fuck up and come sit that ass on my face.”

Jerk.

You like it when he’s mean, though.

You huff, childishly crossing your arms over your chest as you watch him get comfortable on his bed, his head near the headboard. He says, “I’m not gonna wait all fucking day. Get on.”

The only thing you can do is scowl but you find yourself crawling onto his bed without another protest, slowly climbing onto his face. You throw your leg over his face, positioning your pussy right on top of his mouth.

His dark eyes catch the nervous lip chewing but he simply slaps your ass. “Sit.”

You grunt in response and slowly lower your body onto his face, a soft whimper leaving your lips when his tongue wastes no time licking a stripe up your wet pussy.

His hand comes down to your ass in another rough slap. “Ride my face.”

A pathetic moan rips through your throat as you begin to grind into his face, allowing yourself to feel every single inch of his tongue devouring you. His hands tightly grab your asscheeks, helping you grind at a pace you both like until you’re a moaning mess on top of him.

You let out a soft groan when the tip of his finger gently teases the rim of your asshole but he never pushes it inside. You assume he’s waiting for verbal permission, something you’ve not given him yet.

“Fuck, your mouth feels good.” You throw your head back as you cup your breasts, pinching at your nipples as more slick oozes out of you and onto his mouth.

“Oh, fuck. I’m gonna cum soon,” you moan as you continue to grind your clit into his nose, the stimulation sending you right out of Earth’s atmosphere. Your grip on the headboard in front of you is tight, almost making your knuckles hurt as you use it to support some of your weight from the momentum of your grinding.

“Cum on my face,” he orders, massaging your asscheeks as he continues to fuck his tongue in and out of you.

“Fuck, fuck,” you cry out as your stomach twists and your thighs clench, a loud sob leaving your lips as your orgasm hits you like a truck.

You can barely move which makes Yoongi jump in and move his lips up to wrap around your clit, sucking on it to stimulate you through your orgasm.

Fuck. He’s way too fucking good at using his tongue. Whether that’s during sex or in a conversation.

He continues to lick all over your sex, licking up all you have to offer until you whimper from the overstimulation.

You try to catch your breath, leaning your head against the headboard. By doing that, you instantly make eye contact with Yoongi and fuck – does he look good.

His long black locks are sprawled out around his head, eyes hooded and his face from the nose down is just drenched in your pussy slick.

“You look really good.” The words leave you in a giggle and he just slaps your ass again which makes you hop off. You fall onto the mattress beside him, staring up at the ceiling and trying to come down from that crazy high.

He wipes his chin with the back of his hand, not caring much before he tugs you toward him. “Let me fuck you.”

“Who’s the needy one now?” you hum in satisfaction, eyes closed as he traces your waist with the tip of his finger.

“Me. I need to fuck you real bad right now.” He sits up but you’re quicker than him.

You push him back toward his mattress and slowly climb onto him. “I’m riding you,” you state as you position yourself on top of him, lining his dick up at your pulsating pussy. You refuse to let him be in control all the time.

The smirk on his lips makes you roll your eyes but you grin in victory when you slide down onto his shaft without a warning and watch his face twist in pleasure.

You yelp as you sink all the way down, teeth harshly biting down on your bottom lip as you blink your tears away. The stretch in your walls burns so good, making you dizzy, making you needy, making you crazy.

“Giving up already?” he teases, another sting spreading through your asscheek where he just smacked you.

“Fuck you,” you moan as you place your hands directly on his chest and start bouncing up and down, eyes tightly shut as you try not to scream.

“Yeah, fuck yourself on my dick, princess. Just like a brat should.” He grips your hips tightly, guiding you up and down his shaft, his hips meeting yours halfway as he fucks you back.

“Yoongi,” you cry, losing all that energy and brattiness as you fall forwards onto his chest, burying your face into the crook of his neck.

Despite not having said a word aside from just his name, he hears your plead loud and clear and begins to fuck upwards into you, pinning your arms into your lower back.

“When you called me and started about your career and reputation, I thought you were going to tell me we should stop this,” he says in between thrusts and heavy breaths, continuing to pound you. “So, I have to make sure you never even think about ending this.”

He tightly grips your wrists as he fucks you, listening to your cries and moans as he chases his own orgasm.

“That why you sounded so panicked?” you tease but he doesn’t let you emerge the victor as he harshly fucks into to the point you can’t even form a coherent thought.

“Oh, fuck. Fuck,” you sob, teeth biting down on the skin that connects his neck to his shoulder, biting and sucking all you can.

“You gonna mark me, huh?” he grunts, his hips never faltering in speed.

“Yes,” you pause as you try to steady your breath. “When’s the last time you fucked Sarang?”

This makes his thrusts come to a halt. He pauses for so long that it makes you lift your head and search his eyes but he’s simply staring at you.

“Wh–”

You can barely finish your sentence when he suddenly flips you over, pushing you back onto the mattress and wedges his hips in between yours before sliding right into your cunt again, grabbing both of your legs by the back of your knees as he starts fucking into you again.

“Jealous?” he asks, his eyes glued to the way your breasts bounce from the impact of his thrusts. “How would you feel if I asked about your last time with Dan–”

“6 months ago. Now you,” you say with no hesitation aside from the loud moans and cries escaping your throat.

He blinks at you but then chuckles and shakes his head before lifting your legs up onto his shoulders so he can lower himself and hover his face right above yours. “I last fucked her the night of the music video shoot.”

…

What?

He catches the frown in your brows but doesn’t comment on it, simply keeps fucking you to chase his own high.

“Why that nigh–”

He deadpans, “Because you made me horny as fuck.”

Holy shit. Did he fuck her simply because you had turned him on?

You cry out once he starts snapping his hips aggressively into you, face lowering even further to press his lips against yours.

You whimper against his lips, eyes shut tightly as the tip of his dick barely grazes your cervix.

“Rub yourself for me,” he whispers against your lips and it only means he’s close to his orgasm.

You comply without another thought, reaching down your stomach to rub your poor sensitive clit as he continues to drill into you.

“I’m gonna cum, where do you want it?” he whispers as he pulls away from your lips. You open your eyes and glance up at him, brows furrowed and soft moans continuously falling from your lips. He’s been cumming inside of you ever since you two started sleeping together but he still makes it a thing to ask every time.

“I want it deep inside of me, sir. Give it to me,” you moan, watching how his face twists from you calling him ‘sir’.

“Fuck. You’re gonna make me fill you up again, huh?” he grunts and his hips start stuttering in their movement, telling you that he’s close.

“I only ever want you to fill me up, boss.”

Those words are all he needs to shoot his load straight into you, painting your slick walls in his cum and long cuss words fall from his lips. “You’re gonna be the death of me,” he grunts in between sloppy thrusts, lips coming down to kiss you again as he rides out his orgasm.

You hum against his lips, your fingers still furiously rubbing circles onto your clit. If he keeps kissing you like this for a moment longer, you’re going to cum. Hard.

“Keep going,” you whimper against his lips as you rub your clit faster once the familiar knot in your stomach starts coming undone.

“Anything,” he whispers, picking the pace back up as he fucks you to your orgasm.

“Oh, shit, fuck,” you cry out even more cuss words when your orgasm finally hits you, dropping onto you like a pile of fucking bricks.

You sob his name as he snaps his hips into yours, fucking you through your orgasm, still not removing his lips from yours because he knows how much you like being kissed during your orgasm. And he likes it too.

After a few more lazy thrusts, he finally comes to a full halt inside of you. “Shit,” he whispers as he parts his lips from yours and drops your legs from his shoulders.

You both try to catch your breath in silence, not much else being said.

“Heh,” is all you can get out when you think about it. He leans down to kiss your neck, cheek, lips, all over your face until he notices the mischievous glimmer in your eyes and a shit eating grin on your lips.

“What?” he asks, confusion coating his tone.

But that’s it. After he told you his little plan on using Daniel to keep the public eye out of your business with Yoongi, you’ve finally realized something after all this time.

“Nothing, just,” you say as you nonchalantly shrug your shoulders and move your hands up to cup his cheeks. “You were always saying I was scheming but…” You look up at him with the most bratty look in your eyes you can muster. “But you’ve kinda been the schemer all along.”

At this, he stares at you with a blank expression for a while but you know him well enough to notice he’s looking for a way to answer this, and he does.

His eyes narrow at you like they would all the time back in your earlier days at the company and a smirk starts tugging at the corners of his lips. And the next few words out of his pretty mouth knocks the oxygen right out of your lungs.

“I can’t believe you’re just now realizing that, baby.”

— May be continued in a sequel.

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[rawstrawberry3]

About me, your creamy Strawberry🍓:3 <3

Helloo, I am Strawberry!🍓College student, who lives in a smol apartment with my partner Blue🩵:3

I am an introvert, so most of the time you'll find me far away from civilization in the nature or at home, taking care of my plants, playing video games, creating something new, watching movies, series and anime or just relaxing :)💚

Animals are my obsessions, which is also maybe why I enjoy cute things so much :3 (I love my plushies :3) ❤️

Currently I am on a journey of discovering my sexuality and working hard on my self-love and self-improvement, which is very important to me :) <3

And I loooove chocolate :3 :P

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[temporalhiccup]

I'm trying to write about this without getting emotional, but it's pretty hard! Hah!

But it's been officially announced so I can finally talk about it! I'm the Lead Designer (damn) on the official Tomb Raider TTRPG (double damn). Shadows of Truth has a public playtest coming up soon, and I'm excited for folks to see what we've been working on!

It's been a wild ride and a fun time, but this is also the biggest challenge I've had to face as a ttrpg designer. Like many indie folks I've drawn inspiration from the media we love (Apocalypse Keys is proudly Hellboy-inspired, among other things!) while still making it our own unique thing.

Tomb Raider has been completely different, in that I have to do my best to translate some awesome video game history into a ttrpg experience. And I gotta be as true to the source material and experience as possible, while still centering what makes ttrpgs great!

Tomb Raider is also a franchise that's been around for almost 30 years and is a HUGE DEAL. It's hard to describe how much of an impact it's made on action-adventure video games, repeatedly! Lara Croft is easily one of the most iconic characters in video games and the genre, and her Adventures include (several) dinosaurs, wild transhuman demonic Atlantean stuff, and apocalypse-inducing artifacts.

But Lara to me, especially since the 2013 game, has been a truly amazing and conflicted heroine. The last three games that grounded her and made her vulnerable, while still creating intense experiences, really hooked me. I really wanted to honor the journey of Tomb Raider and make a really fun and thrilling ttrpg for folks.

But anyone who knows me, knows that anti-colonial design is in all my games. It's just who I am, and it's not something I consciously did at first. It wasn't even until I started designing ttrpgs, in my 30s, that I realized how important my personal decolonization process was, and a lot of that has helped me discover new aspects of my identity (including being a transmasculine person).

So, I don't need to tell you that a franchise called Tomb Raider has some colonial implications, right?

As development goes on, folks have asked me "How is the game anti-colonial?" or "How are you addressing the colonialism?" I want to start off by saying as a team we conceptualized what that could mean while still being true to the franchise. But since then, as Lead Designer, I've had to make hundreds of decisions that are reflected in countless design and structural choices. I can point to dozens of mechanics and things and describe how this is my personal attempt to present anti-colonial gaming, and I'm grateful for the help our team of consultants and playtesters in guiding me.

It's kind of wild, but in chasing after and reaching for anti-colonial design, I've had to figure out how to implement great tech from other designers, but also come up with lots of new stuff too. There's some really cool Adventure design stuff that is really hard to pull off in a PbtA framework where you play to find out. (Arguably, PbtA itself has a lot of anti-colonial play about it compared to mainstream ttrpgs and it's one of the reasons we used PbtA as a design framework but that's a whole other conversation)

I'm really so grateful for the support from the team! It's hard to feel like I'm good enough and can measure up to Evil Hat's faith in me, but they've been incredibly supportive and open, and it's been stellar. Crystal Dynamics has also been amazing to work with, especially because it was important to me that while we honor how awesome Tomb Raider is, we don't downplay the difficult truths of colonialism and its ongoing effects. And they were so incredibly on board for that! It's so rare for a marginalized person like me to be granted an opportunity like this, and I am determined to give it my all.

We've built a team that's been amazing to collaborate with, and @ostrichmonkey-games has been doing incredible work alongside me. I'm really proud of what we're doing as a team! I can't wait for folks to see it come together.

You can also check out the Polygon (!!!) article about the game, which gives you a sense of some of the cool mechanics at play!

I know it's easy to write off an IP ttrpg based on a really big franchise (and for good reasons, unfortunately). But I really do think we're doing something special here! I hope y'all will give the game a chance and check it out when the public playtest starts up!

[madsims4finds]

Sooo Paralives and the Brainwashing EA has done

It's funny. Paralives launched a gameplay video that looks really good, along with some announcements. One of them being that they won't be offering paid DLC. I was watching Satch on Sims and him, plus a few other people, seem to think this is a bad move.

No shade, but it's easy to tell people who don't really game and all they play is the Sims. Like EA got yall so brainwashed that you actually think you're SUPPOSED to be getting charged for base game features.

His concern was wanting a different world to play in or different aethitics. Who said we can't get that for free? We may not know what all features Paralives are going to offer, but what rule says that they can't give us another world to play in for free? I mean literally, there are so many games that do free updates and only offer DLC if it's a niche theme that not everyone would be into, or if they're adding ADDITIONAL gameplay that has no resemblance to what's already in the game.

Only EA removes base game features just to sell them back to you later. Or expect you to buy a multitude of different DLCs that have the exact same theme or niche. Now don't mind me while I gripe on this point a little.

Growing Together and Parenthood should have been one generations themed pack.

Discover University and High School Years should have been one pack focused on education.

All of the occults (vamps, wolves, witches, ghosts, aliens, mermaids, plant people) all should have been in ONE paranormal pack.

Features from Dine Out should have been included in Get to Work. There was no need for that to be seperate DLC when they both relate to active careers.

For Rent and City Living should have been one pack.

Simple features that should not be locked behind a pay wall, and I'm not even talking weather. Like why do I have to buy DLC just for my sims to have access to a hot tub (Perfect Patio), an ice cream maker (Cool Kitchen), a popcorn maker (movie night), for them to have the ability to carve a pumpkin or have different holloween costumes, when Holloween is a holiday that comes in the base game with base game ability to trick or treat, etc. (Spooky Stuff), I have to buy Vintage Glamour just to have a butler (if anything the butler should have been in get famous along with everything in the luxury stuff pack. These are all things that should just be base game that they force you to buy DLC to have access to.

And speaking of weather, I do feel like packs like seasons, pets, laundry day, bust the dust, and my wedding stories should all be base game features. Yeah I don't care if we're used to paying for stuff like seasons and pets, things can and should change. These are all life basics, why am I paying extra?

Now I'm not all negative. There are packs that actually make sense. Get Famous makes sense. So does Island Living, Strangervile, all the vacation packs (jungle, outdoor, snowy). Hell, even Journey to Batuu made sense. Yeah, hear me out. These are all OPTIONAL packs. Stuff that not everyone is going to play with but they each bring something different to the game. Now whether any of these packs are filled to the brim with playable content, thats another story. But at least the concept makes sense.

Okay, off my soapbox and moving on.

I will forever and always use No Man's Sky as an example of a development team that chose integrity over money. That team has been releasing update after update for YEARS. Significant updates too. Updates that completely change the gameplay mechanics, adds brand new features to the game, or updates/changes the look of the game. All for free. Yes, it's normal. Not normal in the sense that these companies should be releasing broken games or not delivering on promises to begin with, but at least they weren't money-hungry assholes about it. The amount of updates that game has, quite a few could have been paid DLC and they didn't do that. Now if they started releasing DLC with specialty ships or different cosmetic features, I would have no problem paying for that cause it's optional.

Paralives knows what they're doing. As long as they are focused on making the base game everything it's supposed to be, I don't see why they couldn't sell the type of optional DLC that makes sense in the future. But I'm certainly not going to say that they're making a mistake by not having paid DLC right now.

I can definitely see them adding things like weather, a new life stage, or new clothes/build objects for free and that's dope. I'm excited about Paralives more so than Life By You. But either way, I'm just glad EA has competition in the life simulation genre now that isn't just about farming management.

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 3/5/2024

really fucking around in Breath of the Wild and not defeating Ganon, even though i think i am fairly well prepared, which is probably indicative of something or a metaphor for some larger issue. oh well! guess we'll never know!

listening

Rock the Jungle by The Daniel Pemberton TV Orchestra, off an album of music from and inspired by LittleBigPlanet, a video game i have never played. Daniel Pemberton is a remarkably prolific british composer who mostly does film these days but also does a lot of BBC stuff.

this is the kind of scrubby pad to the brain electronica i need sometimes. i think these are heavily filtered and processed kookaburra sounds? at about the minute fifteen mark it adds a rolling, rollicking bassline that is, as im sure we all know by now, fucking catnip to me. at about 2:20 it adds alarm blares that fade in and out of a sort of disco-y organ? it uses its five minute runtime pretty well imo. i think this was off the spotify discover weekly.

-

reading

T Kingfisher's The Clockwork Boys, recced by @rae-being-naughty lo these many months ago, and my library hold finally came in. the goodreads blurb is a remarkably accurate sales pitch so let's yoink that

A paladin, an assassin, a forger, and a scholar ride out of town. It’s not the start of a joke, but rather an espionage mission with deadly serious stakes. T. Kingfisher’s new novel begins the tale of a murderous band of criminals (and a scholar), thrown together in an attempt to unravel the secret of the Clockwork Boys, mechanical soldiers from a neighboring kingdom that promise ruin to the Dowager’s city. If they succeed, rewards and pardons await, but that requires a long journey through enemy territory, directly into the capital. It also requires them to refrain from killing each other along the way! At turns darkly comic and touching, Clockwork Boys puts together a broken group of people trying to make the most of the rest of their lives as they drive forward on their suicide mission.

i had a lot of fun with this! very pratchett-esque in its imperial critique through bureaucratic loopholes thereof, which is catnip to me, but i do think Kingfisher is simply better at writing women. the forger is an only child and it fucking shows.

i think if it were 5% more devoted to Humorous Bits and didn't have some nice character work between the forging accountant and the big sad blond paladin man, i would have gotten frustrated with it. i think it is simply more of a comedy than any of its blurbs suggest, and it can be difficult to ride that line between comedy and character growth through desperate acts without getting a little bit of whiplash. this is me being very depressed and a bit nitpicky though. the line "Time passed, like a kidney stone" is going to stick in my brain for a while. i already have the sequel on hold

-

watching

if you do nothing else today could you please watch this car chase for me? ok thanks

Gunsmith Cats is a three-episode OVA that's a fancam of the american city of chicago and the cool girls that live and shoot and drive there, but let's just yank the MyAnimeList description

In the dangerous suburbs of Chicago, skilled bounty hunters Irene "Rally" Vincent and "Minnie" May Hopkins run Gunsmith Cats, a firearms store of questionable legality. One day, Bill Collins, an agent for the Chicago branch of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives, blackmails Rally and May into working with him on a case. The stakes are high, but Rally’s gunmanship and May’s knowledge of explosives are unmatched. As Rally and May unravel the secrets of the case, the two will need to use guns and grenades while being faster, stronger, and better than everyone else in order to stay alive.

all three episodes are free (in really nice quality) on youtube. i pitched this to wendy as "rally is jigen lupinthethird's little sister" and her driving skills and marksmanship... i'm not sure who would win between them but i wouldn't like to live on the difference.

animators, historically, hate animating guns and cars, except for the masochistic ones who use it to flex. there are at least three shots in each episode where i want to stand up and hold my cat above my head and hoot like a fuckin tusken raider. in the first episode, there's a raid on a smuggling warehouse (you know, a warehouse) where the BATF agent and Rally throw each other their guns and have a really cool FALLING OFF A CATWALK back to back shootout. it's hard to describe. watch the episode. i wish there were more than three episodes.

this is an OVA that, aside from the requisite panty shot and WHOOPS my whole shirt tore (one of each per episode per girl) is fairly normal about women? rally and minnie are...roommates. that bicker and eat pizza. they have a cool network of other slightly shady women they interact with a lot, and the big bad for most of the episodes is also a woman. this isn't like a bastion of feminism or anything it's just neat. sort of middling on the ass portion of the Weeb Ass Shit scale. low on the weeb and shit parts too. again this is a fancam of chicago with cool girls

i watched this bc i was trying to use up kanopy credits and came across the precursor to this, Riding Bean, which i did not love for several reasons (the big one being the legitimately pedophilic lesbian relationship) but the creator took the concept of Rally out of that forty minute...experiment? and that led me to Gunsmith Cats. thank u ppl who put free anime on youtube

-

playing

still futzing about in breath of the wild. fucking around with sidequests and a sudden need to at least discover all the shrines.

for example, i did all the labyrinth shrines. underneath the akkala labyrinth is the scariest room in the world, bc six of those fuckers are alive and they will all target you the instant you open that chest.

cannot be bothered with the eventide island shrine yet (the roguelike) bc it frustrates the hell out of me. did the thyplo forest one, which was extremely annoying bc it dimmed my whole TV screen (including the UI) instead of just dimming the game itself. im sure someone thought that would be such a cool detail but instead i found it extremely annoying and vey difficult to swap weapons or start campfires.

and then i trundled through a list of shrine quests, bc i apparently had TWELVE missing?? three were korok trials, one was eventide (apparently it only shows up as a quest if you are on the island or have finished it, bc if u die on the island it kicks you back to a pre-island save lmao) so for the others: three i just had to talk to people to officially start and then immediately complete the quest. remember when i was anxious about softlocking myself out of the jungle dragon shrine quest bc i went right there instead of talking to Kass? never fear, nintendo's got my back

"kay how did you possibly miss reading the giant stone tablet to start this quest--" i am not a clever woman. i go "oh i know what to do!!!" when i see the Orb and hare off without looking around further.

A Brother's Roast i missed bc i forgot to talk to everyone in Goron City after defeating rudania, didn't run across Test of Will (the Goron challenge in the Gerudo highlands) bc i forgot to look off that side of the tower and was very focused on gliding into the labyrinth at the right spot, and didn't run across Guardian Slideshow on the far south beaches bc i hadn't explored there yet.

A Stolen Heirloom was deeply annoying. i had four out of five quests complete to unlock this, but there is an unmarked side quest where you have to go into this lady's house at night to figure out she wants fireflies. maybe she has some ambient daytime barks about this? i have never heard them. this was a little obtuse. also i don't love the stealth in this game. this game's stealth really works when you are well out of detection range bc u have a sniper bow, and i find it works less well for me when i have to follow a target. no i haven't finished the korok stealth trial either.

non-shrine nonsense:

ive been using Stasis as a sort of VATS equivalent. in fallout, i like to hit VATS every once in a while just to see who's out there. how many radroaches are nearby. this also highlights most interactable things which i think is nice of the game

gerudo town stuff: i missed this sand seal racing challenge by SO little the first time which annoyed me so much, it took me six more tries to beat the damn thing. i am very charmed that they actually put in a garden for the kid who was trying to grow a garden!

some beach vegetation mysteries: im really baffled by this singular hearty radish growing in full sun in what is essentially sand with a dusting of palm bark. all the other hearty radishes i have seen are in deep forests with partial sun and lots of leaf litter. what the hell is this then. plus a neat little unique sea wrack? korok circle instead of the usual lilypads.

i didn't know this game knew how to do rainbows at all, let alone double ones!

i will leave you with my many attempts to make stamina potions.

-

making

making things requires both the perfect levels of anxiety (too little anxiety and im out doing normal people things, too much anxiety and i shut down, a medium level means im frantically making things to distract myself. we are at the high end of medium) and some level of income bc i inevitably need one or two things to finish projects. eg we are at the level of anxiety where i am only able to do simple things like repainting a whole bunch of big frames for my maps (procured when i had money) but i need more matboard. so they are sitting, 90% finished, in my office closet.

garden update: more than half my bush beans came up with no leaves and promptly died, which could be due to any number of things but im choosing to believe it's bc my bestie's five year old planted them a little too deeply. so it goes. all the sweet peas are fine, all my normal peas and most of my regular climbing beans came up. a little annoyed bc only a third of my nasturtiums came up even after soaking them for 24h as recommended. the shit i Bought (tomatoes, marigolds, mint, rosemary) is doing fine. the spinach and dill i planted are doing fine too, although the spinach also had about a 50% germination rate. this does mean i don't need to thin them but. Hm. yanno?

[losieee]

Modern Zoo

I am so proud of this build and im very excited to share it with you guys! It was very hard to capture all the detail and areas in so few pictures, but i did my best. Have fun adventuring this build in your games:)

Also never ever has a build taken me this long to do lol, it took two whole weeks of work but i had so much fun!

The zoo has a big entrance area with two info/ticket booths and a little office area, in the same building there is a two story gift shop! 

Next to it is a small keepers hut for food preparation and animal care! 

In total there are 4 big animal enclosures, 2 bird cages, an aquarium building and a pop up show and tell on bugs and frogs for kids! 

There is also a cafe with seating area, and two playground areas for children to play at!

The park also has two toilets, and overall has a lot of detail and decorations, and I really hope you guys like it:)

Built in Willow Creek - Oakenstead

Community Lot - Park

Can also function as Retail or Café lot

50x50

372,343 §

No CC

Expansion Packs: Cottage Living, Snowy Escape, Discover University, Island Living, Get Famous, Seasons, Cats & Dogs, City Living, Get Together, Get To Work

Game Packs: Werewolves, Dream Home Decorator, Journey To Batuu, Jungle Adventure, Parenthood, Vampires, Dine Out, Outdoor Retreat

Stuff Packs: Laundry Day, Bowling Night

Kits: Everyday Clutter, Desert Luxe Kit, Décor To The Max

Download | Gallery ID: Losieee

RESHADE

@mmoutfitters  @sssvitlanz @coffee-houses-finds  

If you use my builds and upload screenshots, videos, edits or anyhting else, please @ me! I love to see them!

[madhogthymaster]

This is Not a Review of In Stars and Time

Let us set the stage.

An entity known as The King has cast a horrible curse upon the land, freezing people in time. It's up to the Chosen One and her friends to save the day. After a long journey, the party arrives at the final town right before the final battle with the final boss. He awaits the heroes at the final castle which was once the house of worship to Change Themselves.

You, the player, are the second to last party member (who joined right before the cute mascot character) and you find yourself "blessed" with the symbolically relevant ability to loop in time - which you discovered after being suddenly crushed to death by a big rock with a sense for dramatic irony. Now, admittedly, the prospect of dealing with Groundhog Day related shenanigans might seem daunting, at first. Dare I say, it might even be emotionally and psychologically taxing, in the long run. However, do not panic! A volunteering social worker has already been sent to "assist" you with your predicament. You can trust them completely.

Now that we have dispensed with the formalities, let's get down to business to defeat The King. Use your newfound powers to help your friends navigate the castle, climb the floors, overcome the obstacles. Be ready to repeat all that several more times. You know the drill. Perhaps, if you do everything right, your buff boyfriend will finally confess his feelings to you.

Wouldn't that be swell?

Wouldn't it?

It would be nice.

It sure would.

...

There will be no additional plot synopsis, at this time.

As I type these few words of appetizing anticipation, I find myself in a predicament of my own: I played In Stars and Time and now I have to talk about it. I have many emotions swirling, dancing incoherently within the very fabric of my being. Feelings that I must convey to you before The Moment passes, you see. I'm not sure I can, though. I'm not sure I can steel my trembling hands for long enough to wax poetically about this being, without hyperbole, one of the best games I played in the past decade. A masterpiece with many juicy layers waiting to be peeled back, one by one. I don't have the energy to write the monstrous essay it deserves for all I want to do is sit in a corner and weep quietly for a few hours, trying to process it all. I'm sad not because it's over but because I can't experience it for the first time ever again. Which is an ironic statement considering the nature of this game, I realize. Allow me to try this again.

Let us set the stage.

In Stars and Time is is a cleverly designed title. The time loop structure works both as a gameplay and thematic device, a means to (purposefully) emphasize the monotonous nature of the RPG grind in relation to the protagonist's deteriorating state, cycle after cycle, play after play. You have your classic meta-textual musings about video games as well as a legitimately gripping tale filled with many twists and turns, good use of symbolism, salient points to make about Trauma and its effect on one's memory, the Fear of Change versus the necessity of it, and Depression. It all comes together by the end in a subjectively satisfying manner and...

...

And...

...

...I have to stop myself.

I'm reducing this deeply personal experience to a mere "review" and that's not what I'm here to do.

I don't know what I'm here to do.

Frankly, there are themes in this game I am not equipped to discuss, such as its intensely felt (and horrifyingly topical) commentary about Diaspora, the shared trauma of cultural displacement, a people fading away from memory like stars in the sky. That kind of analysis would be too much for a simple "review." if this were to be one, I would praise the game for being the best possible version of itself, the best version of a Time Loop story. One that perfectly applies the narrative tropes of the genre to its gameplay, plot, all that jazz. I would also state that it didn't reinvent the wheel of "Indie Gaming" and I could feel inclined to make obligatory comparisons to That One Game because that's the unfair standard by which everything MUST abide! No, I shall not do that. I need to rethink my approach. I am going to take a small break. In the meantime, please enjoy these unrelated GIF files of Christopher Lloyd from Toonstruck that I have lying around on the floor.

I had dinner with the family. It was a small, daily reminder that I am loved unconditionally. That I deserve it. Something that is immensely easy to forget. The meal was tastier than usual.

...

Back to it.

This is the brutally simple truth of the matter: there is a lot to love about In Stars and Time, with its writing, design choices, characters, nuances, big feelings. It has the potential to be a massive crowd pleaser and it would be well-deserved. It's got explicitly gay lore, as well! In case I didn't make it abundantly clear, this game is 100% queer. Every aspect of it, from the characters and the world they inhabit to the culture and its history, is built from the ground up as a queer utopia. You might recall, all the way to the first paragraph of this long-winded, amorphous ramble, I mentioned something about Change with a capital C. That is because the very concept of Change has been deified, becoming the base of a whole religion: an extremely inclusive, open-minded, progressive community that celebrates life in all its multi-faceted forms. A significant portion of its foundation is the magical technique of "Body Craft" which allows the user to literally transform their physical appearance into their preferred shape, one that better reflects who they are. Children are given many names, both male and female, for the purpose of facilitating their own change, should it occur. Literal and figurative transience lies at the heart of this belief system, meaning that about half the population is trans/non-binary, and queerness is normalcy. As a side note, I want to live in this world. Change is viewed as positive, in other words. In light of that, the arrival of a hostile entity with the power to simply stop all of existence from ever progressing by freezing everyone in place might seem like an easy metaphor to read. I assure you, the game is eager for you to make that assumption.

As I mentioned earlier, this story tackles Depression and it doesn't pull its punches when it comes to portray the more "inconvenient" aspects of living with crippling self-esteem issues. That's when the game became a masterpiece to me. I resonated with Siffrin (He/They), the protagonist. That's you!

Their struggle to navigate the constant torment of the loop is paralleled with their increasing mental and emotional instability. Intrusive thoughts overpowering their head, saying he will never be loved, that he's toxic and manipulative. There's the all too familiar frustration of not being understood by others despite not having tried to explain how you really feel to them, trapped as you are in your own head. Big issues are equated to "small" issues. I relate with most of this. Through the Time Loop allegory, In Stars and Time captures the Kafkian Horror of existing as a neurodivergent person who gets in the way of their own happiness. It's isolating, drives a barrier between your loved ones, makes you lose touch with reality. Sometimes you have good days, sometimes you have bad days. Everything eventually blends together in a sickening routine until you either drown or you start swimming furiously.

Then the cycle repeats.

It's too much.

You cannot do it alone.

You are not alone.

Let them in.

Let yourself be loved.

That is, in essence, the reason why I think so highly of this title. I related with the story and characters. Yes, it all comes down to the most obvious thesis statement in the universe. Yes, I probably didn't need to write so much about it but, regardless, I'm glad I did. I poured my feelings towards an Object D'Art onto figurative paper as I was processing them, doing away with any pseudo-intellectual vernacular in order to get to the soul of the matter. I expressed my emotions and I feel better for having done so. Now, I can move on. All that is left to do is to recommend the game.

...

Go play In Stars and Time, I recommend it. It's good.

...

That's about it.

...

You're still here.

...

......

..............

Go away, stupid!

---

A/N:

Thank you for reading this rather personal piece. The article was extrapolated from a thread I wrote down on the subject. You can read that here. I also typed about the official prologue to the game, Start Again, which you can view here.

As a reminder, I have a YouTube channel.

In Stars and Time was developed by Adrienne Bazir. Follow them on Twitter, Tumblr and Itch.io.

Tell the people in your life how much they mean to you, and have a good day.

[gamerdog1]

Samurai Champloo Review

What the hell even is a 'champloo' anyways? Ever since one fateful Passover seder, where my older cousin told me about this series, I've wondered about it. Its certainly not English, and though a quick Google search could give me my answer, the mystery of it all kept this show on my radar for nearly a decade. Its not often that a show with a title as puzzling as this get popular, especially enough for my slacker cousin to recommend it to me. With a recommendation like that, though, I knew there was something special about it.

Samurai Champloo is a strange breed. Created in 2004 by Masaru Gotsubo, and animated by defunct studio Manglobe, the series follows a trio of miscreants on a journey to find a mysterious samurai. Along the way, they dodge the law, fight assassins, and discover how hard it is to be a minority in a changing world.

Champloo's biggest draw is it's style. The series features a modern-style Edo that keeps the historical dress and architecture, but adds a contemporary kick everywhere else. The opening alone sets the tone perfectly: sharply colored characters, juxtaposed onto paper-like backgrounds, moving to a hip-hop flow. Its stylish, like an old-school music video, and draws you in in seconds with its funky beat and striking visuals. Its the perfect opening, and things only get cooler from there.

The Edo of this anime features a mix of traditional Japanese and modern North American styles, presented in a way that sets it apart from the rest. Its a show where you might find a samurai sword fight set to record scratches, or characters wistfully embarking on a journey while hip-hop music plays in the background. Early episodes use these scratches in the soundtrack as editing cues, cross-cutting between actions at the sound to create a wholly unique experience. It can't be overstated how much the musical styles of this anime make the viewing experience shine.

On top of that, much of the content of the show's episodes takes pages from a more modern handbook. One episode has the main trio caught up in the world of graffiti, as two brothers compete to see who can 'tag' the most dangerous places. Another has them play against American traders in a overly-violent game of baseball. All the while, characters talk with modern slang, ditching formalities and keeping with the tone the soundtrack sets. All this combined creates a historical anime that feels surprisingly contemporary, despite the obvious.

Over the course of the show's 26 episodes, we follow a main trio of characters as they journey to find a mysterious samurai who smells of sunflowers. The trip is long, and each episode usually features the gang stopping somewhere and getting involved in a stranger's problems, usually learning some moral or getting a lead on their quest afterwards. Its not often for series as mature as these to be episodic, given how seriously they take their plots, but here, it works well.

Every episode feels like another step along their journey, whether it be an eating contest in a big city, or hunting down a pick-pocket who stole their wallets. The series also does an excellent job at making the journey feel long, often referring back to the places the characters have been so far to keep track of it. You could actually track the trio's journey with a real life map if you wanted, since all the places they visit are historical, and probably still exist. Maybe someone out there has even tried their journey in real life...?

An anime is only as interesting as its main characters, and this one certainly has an interesting cast. The series stars three characters, who together, always find a way to screw things up in the most hilarious ways. First, there's Fuu, a young woman who meets the other two characters when they burn her workplace down, and enlists them to help find the samurai who smells of sunflowers. The show pulls no punches with her, often having her be the butt of the joke just as much as her companions. She's loud, whiny, naïve, and often eats the most out of all of them. Yet, she's usually the one that stops fights, is the voice of reason in all this show's chaos, and shows kindness to everyone she meets, even someone who tried to kill her. Though the other characters might play her off as another nagging woman, Fuu's right more often than not, and is a valuable member of the team.

Next is Jin, a ronin with a cool attitude. He's the level-headed one of the trio, often keeping to himself instead of jumping into arguments like the others. His cold exterior hides some pretty deep traumas, which were exciting to learn more about as the story developed. Characters like him are often stereotyped as unfeeling swordsmen, yet beneath all the sullen glances and reclusive body language, he grows to care about his companions more than any sense of pride.

Lastly, there's Mugen, the wild vagrant. His reckless fighting style, love for battle, and unquenchable pride endeared him to me pretty quickly, making him an easy choice as favorite. Compared to Jin and Fuu, Mugen is an old-school tough guy, a shonen protagonist aged up a decade and thrown backwards a couple hundred years. Like Jin, he initially is quite guarded, but learns to express himself little by little, eventually revealing his tragic backstory. Though, to be fair, most of his self expression comes in the form of violence or threats, but I'm not here to judge him.

Together, these three form a simple comedy trio, and get into trouble at every turn on their journey as they learn to tolerate each other. From start to finish, the trio struggle to get along peacefully, but that's what makes their dynamic worth watching. Mugen and Jin's mutual hatred, balanced out by Fuu's persistence, is what keeps them going. Depending on what episode it is, they take turns being the 'straight man', keeping the dynamic fresh and free of stale tropes.

At the heart of this anime, though, is its theme of identity in a changing world. Throughout the series, the trio encounter various minority groups along their journey, and learn about their unique struggles. One episode has them protecting a secret Dutch immigrant, taking him on a tour of the city while they dodge immigration officers. When the man reveals that he fled his home country because of homophobia, it doesn't feel out of place or poorly handled. His queerness is just as much a part of his character arc as his foreign-ness, and though the show makes a few light-hearted jabs at his accent and obvious visual difference, it takes the rest of his identity rather seriously. This character, while only in the show for an episode, is just one of many minority characters in this series that is handled well, showing that a series doesn't have to be disrespectful to be historical.

Another major theme in this series is death, and the acceptance of it. Being an action series, its pretty obvious that a lot of characters die, but what's interesting is how other characters deal with those deaths. Many side characters who the trio befriend on their journey are dealing with loss in some way, whether it be a husband, sibling, child, or something else. We witness how their grief drives them, such as with Fuu, or various other characters in the series. In a world such as the one in this series, death is commonplace, but a healthy acceptance of it is unfortunately less so. Each encounter with death in the series opens up new discussions about it, and often had me pondering what these characters might do next, or how I would deal with their situations.

In the end, though, Samurai Champloo is a fascinating series that brings a unique blend of Eastern and Western styles to make a truly memorable viewing experience. It's hip-hop soundtrack pairs beautifully with flashy and quick-paced sword fighting, creating a simultaneous modern-historical vibe to it all. Its characters have an enjoyable dynamic that kept me coming back day after day for more, which inevitable led to disappointment upon discovering how short this series is. If we lived in a perfect world, this would have at least an extra season, but unfortunately, perfect this world ain't.

But hey, at least I can spend my Pink Halloween (read: Valentine's Day) knowing that Fuu is valid, Mugen is gender, and Jin defintely got pegged in that one episode.

[suleikashideaway]

All this love for ff8 flying around tumblr right now has got me thinking. 

So many people were so moved by this game that twenty-five years later we’re all banging our fists on the table and crying about it? It leaves me stunned. For so long I thought I was the only one. 

[Huge text post under the cut. As I wrote this I realized just how much soul-baring I was doing. This was emotional to write and just as emotional to share. Thank you to those of you who bravely paved the way with your personal stories so that I would feel strong enough to do the same. Sorry this got stupid-long lol]

My own journey with ff8, as it turns out, is very much tied to my journey in discovering writing. It overwhelms me to think of how my life is so much better thanks to both things. And how my life was potentially saved by both things.

Back in the early aughts I was not privileged enough to have any gaming consoles. My best friend, though, had just gotten a PS1 and the very first game she had was ff8. I would go over to her house every single Sunday afternoon and sit, transfixed, as she played through it. I had never seen anything like it before. We would read the dialogue boxes out loud (I was always Selphie, Zell, and Rinoa, she was always Squall, Irvine, and Quistis) and she was kind enough to save the important cut scenes on separate memory slots so I could see whatever she had played throughout the week. 

I remember adoring the cutesyness of Squall and Rinoa’s dynamic and crying when I saw the ending. But there was something more to it. I felt such an intense desire to have the game for myself, to play it alone and absorb everything in it. We finally got a little money and got a PS1, but my mom would only get games that the whole family could enjoy, so it was Crash and Spyro for a long time until I finally, finally got ff8 for myself. 

The intensity of Squall and Rinoa’s drama and romance was so important to my passionate little teenaged heart. He jumped out into space to save her!! And she brought him back from time compression with just her love!!! It was the story that set the bar for romantic love. 

And Squall…damn, I remember sitting, unblinking, at the scene when he’s curled up in bed…At age sixteen, seventeen, watching Squall voice these things was big:

“I’m fine all by myself now. I have all the skills I need to survive. I’m not a child anymore. That’s a lie. I don’t know anything. I’m confused.”

At the time, I didn’t know why I was so spellbound by that scene, and many of the other scenes of Squall’s inner monologues, but it makes so much sense now. I was a child made to believe I had to be fully competent and capable from way too young an age, parentified and emotionally stunted, and I was about to be kicked out into the world when I didn’t know a single fucking thing about it. 

But my love for ff8 was very private. I read some fanfic to extend that feeling of being in Squall and Rinoa’s world, but other than that, I never outwardly expressed how much this game stuck with me. I was definitely an awkward, shy kid, and luckily I found a group of weirdos in high school who had no fear in sharing their love for things like video games and anime and what-have-you. But still! Even with that! I barely engaged with the few friends who had a love for ff8. It was all very intimate for me. It was my private world. And part of me was scared of taking it too far, even amongst the nerds who took everything too far. I didn’t want to stand out in that way. I had the overwhelming urge to appear normal, and sane. And anyway I didn’t know how to articulate it.

There is a scene from my college years that is so burned in my memory and I think highlights this. I was in a very small major and so I had all the same classes with the same small group of people. In these classes was a very cool girl who I admired. One day someone brought up video games and I remember feeling paralyzed, like, “I can’t bring up my weirdly intense passion for this game! Everyone will think I’m so strange!” so I lied and said I had never played a single video game in my life. And in comes Cool Girl and starts going on and on about how much she loved final fantasy 8 and I could not fathom it. I stayed silent. I was not cool enough to go back on my lie and admit that I was just as into that game, if not more into it, and that I still thought about it regularly.

I kept my love of the game to myself, and played it once or twice when I went home on college breaks. It was enough. I was busy, and burnt out, and turns out, severely depressed on top of it all. 

That first major depressive episode lasted years. I managed to get out of it on my own through a variety of life experiences and found myself in my mid-twenties, looking for love. And what was more, I knew I had to find my Squall. I had to find someone who would constantly be willing to save me from my own flightiness, from my overly-passionate heart that didn’t think things through and constantly caused my own messes, and tell me (with brutal honesty) when to knock my shit off.

And I found him!

What I didn’t know is that I was really Rinoa all along. And Rinoa, my friends, cinnamon roll that she is, has a lot of shit to work out, too. 

It was helpful as I started spiraling into depression again: what if Rinoa and Squall were together and happy, but Rinoa had a major emotional breakdown in her late twenties? I imagined it obsessively. Thinking of their future was the only way I could fall asleep at night. (lol, any of this sound familiar, @angelosearch? <3)

Their story took such a hold on me. I could feel it wanting to scream itself out of my fingertips to the point that I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I started secretly typing it up, and every time I sat at the keys, I felt better.

And I stopped disassociating. I started sleeping better. I stopped hiding in the bathroom to cry at all hours of the day. I stopped thinking that I didn’t deserve to be here. I stopped therapy. 

I felt like I had been given a second chance at life. 

About a year ago, I was finally ready to consider posting my ff8 fanfic to share with the world. I had been writing it for over a year, and brewing it in my head for (get this) about eight years before that.

I could tell, though, that I was not a Good Writer. So I put on my bravest face and went searching for a beta. I immediately found one, my amazing @failed221b-chill, who I’ve gushed about before. And my world blossomed. I discovered the true joy that writing brings me, and even just writing this essay is way better than any therapy session I’ve ever had. 

I’m finally coming into my own. I’m finally realizing I had no reason to hide my passionate self. I have to share my inner world - it’s what makes me who I am, and only in that way can I truly connect with those around me. In fact, I literally went and bought an ff8 tank top and wore it in public yesterday and felt like a fucking superhero for doing so. 

So. All that said. I’m so incredibly grateful to be here in this moment, sharing all this love for a game that clearly has affected so many lives for the better. Happy anniversary, Final Fantasy VIII! And to anyone who read this far, I love you.

[yakool-foolio]

Protagonist Yakou AU initial concept

This AU came to me after listening to VHS by TWRP ft. Electric Six (it's not important to the AU at all, I just happened to get the idea while this was playing) one too many times and I couldn't hold back sharing it any longer.

Quick summary: Yakou formed a pact with Shinigami instead of Yuma because of his desperation to save the city and solve his wife's death, even if he had to give up his memories in order to have that help. He ordered the WDO to dispatch the detectives to him beforehand in hopes that they'd help alongside Shinigami to discover the truth, but to also have the support system he needed after he felt so alone with his wife's passing. It's the closure he always wanted. But in order to save the city, he must discover the truth of everything, including that he's a homunculus. He has to accept that he's his own person regardless of his identity. In the end, he wants to carry on with his original's legacy and finish what he started.

And now have some scattered ideas that pertain to this AU: In this scenario, you betcha there'll be a lot of video game references, mostly spawned from the death god herself. Shinigami is basically the Navi to Yakou's Link. She starts out with a great disdain for him since he seems incapable of solving such a huge mystery after willingly wiping his memories, and often taunts him for the choice he made. However, with each mystery labyrinth they destroy, she learns to treat him with more respect, understanding why he's considered the chief of the agency. Yakou is reluctantly nicknamed 'The Death Knight' for being yet another game reference, but also 'knight'... night... nocturnal... like Yakou's lifestyle... okay you get the point.

Yuma is still an important character in this AU, but he's fairly different from canon. He's isn't Number One, rather a fresh-off-the-exam Master Detective with his powerful Forte, Coalescence. However, even before he joined the WDO, he was kidnapped and used as the vessel for the UG's one successful homunculi experiment because of his Forte's unrestrained power without the WDO's training to restrict it. Yuma's memory was wiped of the experimentation afterward so he could be sent to the WDO without issue and begin proper training. However, that hole in his memories left him wanting to know more and discover what happened to him. When he was dispatched to Kanai Ward two years later to assist Yakou, he hoped this journey would prove useful in his search. Despite both their losses, Yakou is quick to take Yuma under his wing in hopes they can bring each other's memories back.

Obviously this is all very off the top of my head, so there are most likely some inconsistencies in this already, but that's why I'd like to let anyone else snatch the ball and start dribbling. If anyone has any ideas they'd like to add or questions for me to consider, let me know! I'd love to see what people think of this AU even if it's in it's very early stages of development.

[elviradreaminess]

This might sound insane, but I believe Baldur's Gate 3 altered my brain chemistry. I think about this game 24/7. And I mean it. I wake up and think about BG3. I go through my day and think about BG3. I go to sleep and think about BG3. But that's not all.

The reason I think about this game so much is because of the narratives of the characters who are now truly precious to my heart. The entire composition of the story of BG3 and many meaningful ideas behind it opened my eyes to so many subjects I haven't even been aware of. And I've been constantly reflecting on these things that I discovered. Surely there’s still so much to be unwrapped. And I’d probably not be able to touch these subjects in any other case. This journey is so unique, I dare to say that it feels like a spiritual experience. Because I've never been writing and analysing so much in my entire life. And I'm looking forward to sharing some of my thoughts!

So yeah. This incredible game has completely changed the person I was. I'll never be the same. And it's honestly fascinating how impactful BG3 is for so many people as well. This is one of the best games ever, no doubt. Thrilling to see how it's gonna influence the video game industry and the way we write characters!

And I'm so grateful and excited to experience and to be a part of this beautiful experience! The last time I had so much joy and fun and curiosity and creative flow was likely back in my childhood? BG3 truly sparked something inside me! And I haven't even had the chance to play the game yet!!! Unbelievable. 100/10. Oh dear.

[snickerdoodlles]

I disagree with your chan headcannon

But I like your other headcannons so can I for macau headcannons if you don't mind

😂 well the good news is that i’m in the fandom minority with my “Chan is loyal to Korn only” camp and rarely ever post about him, so keep asking me about brothers and we'll be delighted together

and yes!!! MACAU MY DARLING BOY!!! i love him SO much, but i will limit myself to only three (3) headcanons for him on this post in a futile attempt to keep it from getting too long

Macau & Kim

his favorite way to piss Kim off is by making club mixes of chinese drama OSTs. he does this with Kim's actual songs too after those start rolling out, but this feud began long before they started posting to social media. Macau also starts off with a larger following for his mixes than Kim does for his covers, and while that eventually plateaus and Kim passes him in their follower counts by the time canon rolls around, Kim is still so fucking bitter. the day Kim starts to let it go is the day Macau posts a video of himself playing hot cross buns on the drama dizi* he stole from Kim years ago.

Macau & Chay

Chay and Macau do Not like each other. i know people like to make them friends, i just don't see it happening without a lot of work first and it's so much funnier to me if they're frenemies. i do love them as online gaming besties tho (before they find out who the other is), because then they both have to live with the mortifying knowledge that Chay once called Macau 'daddy' after he gave him a bunch of turnips in animal crossing, because they are teenagers and teenagers make stupid daddy jokes. any inclinations of trying to be friends because Porsche and Vegas are friends dry up faster than water on a hot pan after that.

Macau & Pete & Vegas

you know what's a great way to bond with brothers and in-laws? movies. you know what's the worst leisure activity to do with Pete and Vegas? WATCH MOVIES. every action scene is scrutinized and criticized and Pete keeps rewinding the same three seconds to mock the character's kick stance. any murder scenes are WORSE. Vegas hates romances and hates ballads. the only things not totally infuriating to watch with him are cooking shows and home improvement shows and the occasional gardening show and yawn. Pete's tastes are much broader thanks to Khun, but he also comes with so many opinions on how to properly watch shows and Macau doesn't actually want to dress up every time they watch a horror film.

so movie nights are almost a bust. they do find some movies they're all into, but it's usually an exercise in frustration. but then, one day while they're queuing up a film they're only 37% sure on, Pete's grandma calls with the hot town gossip--"do you remember Kobb Pete? yes, the nice old man who runs the fruit stand, remember how he gave you a mango on your first day of school and you dripped all down your new uniform? well, you'll never believe what's happened, you know how Kobb passed his stand down to his son Mew and Mew was training up his son Mod to take over one day, except they got into a fight on how to best display the pineapples and papayas and they had a fight, yes, right there in the middle of the road, and Mew fired his son, but Kobb backed Mod, so they opened a rival fruit stand with Mew's wife, but Kobb's wife sided with Mew and got the neighbors involved, and--"

it takes grandma forty minutes to regale the tale of the on-going fruit vendor feud. then she continues to update Pete on the rest of the hometown for another three hours. Macau and Vegas are enthralled. how often does your grandma tell you things Pete, can we be there for the next one, what's the full story behind the thing with Folk's fishing boat, why did you ask grandma if Sine's husband was in the garden--

listen, small town drama is the best drama. and Vegas is having a journey to discover which mafia things are things he likes vs which ones he forced himself to like to survive, and being a nosy cunt sniffing out all the juicy scandals is absolutely something he takes to with glee (he will become grandma's favorite when they visit, they are terrifying together). Macau just loves hearing all the petty drama and neighbors feuds that result in increasingly passive aggressive displays of garden gnomes instead of gunfire. movie night becomes grandma call nights and it's the best family bonding.

*inspired by Jeff buying one of the Wei Wuxian's flutes and the fact that he reportedly learned how to play it because he's a big ol' cql nerd ❤❤❤ this is also a reference to @majestictortoise's fic Middlegame, which everyone should read if they haven't yet and reread if they have

Send an ask, get a headcanon (prev: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

[therisingphoenixden]

So, I was feeling kind of rough at the end of last week and decided to dip into my stash of comfort video games.

What did I pick?

The first Pillars of Eternity game.

Longish ramblings about why I love this game under the cut!

I feel like I have very weird tastes in comfort games because Pillars of Eternity is not at all what I'd call a cozy or comforting game. In fact, it's quite bleak in a lot of places. But it has amazing depth to its lore and story that grounds you while also pulling you in, wonderfully written characters that make the world of Eora feel alive, gorgeous music (if you watch Critical Role, especially during campaign 2, you'll recognize a lot of the music in the game), and several very unique races to use as your player character in addition to the usual standards of dwarves, elves, and humans. The dialogue system lets you shape your character even further with race, class, stat allotment, and your reputation and personality scores opening up different paths to pick from.

The story also deals with questions surrounding faith and religion, the nature of the soul, and features heavy reincarnation themes. If you know my love of Morrowind, you know that this kind of stuff is my catnip.

Combat-wise, I play on story mode because I'm a story-first kind of player. I'm also usually very exhausted and am up very early in the mornings on weekdays. But even story mode can be a bit of a challenge when you prefer to roleplay as a character and not what the "best" race/class combos and builds are for Path of the Damned mode. Granted, I'm overleveled for where I am in the story (both in base game and in White March 2), but it's still enough of a challenge for my permanently exhausted mind to enjoy. You still have to think tactically so your party isn't overwhelmed, which tickles the part of my brain that grew up playing rts games.

I'm currently dawdling with completing act 2 on my fire godlike cipher, Xiuhitl, just because I missed playing around in the world of Eora so much and I'm not ready to hit Twin Elms and proceed to the endgame yet. I'm taking options that I haven't before and discovering quests that I completely missed in my first few playthroughs of the game. It's almost like playing it for the first time all over again, especially since I haven't played in a while. I remember some of the major story beats, but not all of them, and I'm not ashamed to admit I got lost once or twice because I think the last time I played was during lockdown. But I prefer to say it's a testament to the game itself where I get drawn in and turned around because I wanted to read the ambient dialogue or listen to the bard in Stalwart sing.

The real adventure is the journey - not the endgame. And in a world that's still very magical while maintaining firm and believably realistic roots, why would you want the adventure to end so quickly?

[happypotato48]

Shuffle your on-repeat playlist and then list the first ten songs!*

*any playlist on any platform will do!

Tagged by @bengiyo and @wen-kexing-apologist, hope you like video games and anime ost.

Just Come Home with Me Tonight - Joesef. Sad queer boy singing about being in love with his straight friend. yeah i've been there. Joesef is where i go when i'm too sad and gay to function.

World Of Warcraft Warlords of Draenor - Malach. i only played wow for only like 4 months but this song always stuck with me.

INU-HIME - QUEEN BEE. i only discovered this band last year and i'm been so obsessed. they're very queer and very cool. trigger warning for slight gore in the music video.

American Teenager - Ethel Cain. mother cain herself. i loved her music, i'm not a religious person but i always felt like going on a spiritual journey whenever i listened to preacher's daughter.

The One Who Bestowed Sacred Flame - Octopath Traveler: Champions of the Continent. never actually played COTC cause it's a moblie spin-off. but i love octopath ost very much.

One Last Kiss - Utada Hikaru. i'm not that into evangelion i'm just here for Utada Hikaru.

Tobitatsu Hato - Detective Conan The Last Wizard Of The Century. if i going to have a westernish wedding this song is probably the one i want for my walk down the aisle.

Kill Bill - SZA. thank fucking god! now i'm not looking like a total nerd >.<

A Mother's Pride - STORMBLOOD: FINAL FANTASY XIV Original Soundtrack. I can be so not normal about this song and its thematic. but since i have some people followed me who still going through ffxiv story, i'm not going to say much but when you're finished with 4.3 just look up the songs titles of that patch Trial and then comeback to absorb the yanxia day and night themes.

ฝืนตัวเองไม่เป็น - NONT TANONT. finally a thai song 😅so i'm been listening to Nont and Jeff Satur a lot lately, they're freaking smooth and so pretty. i love thai men, we are such an eye candies, me included, winks winks.

You see this you're tag if you want to :P