#I'm gonna have to make a sticky note to put on my mirror that reads

[the-yearning-astronaut]

I was made entirely tongue tied today at work when a very pretty and spot on Bo-Katan lookalike cosplayer told me I'm pretty.

"You're very pretty. I just thought you should know."

[httpsdana]

heyyy

i saw your last post and i have an idea, what about the reader having a bad past with birthdays and she didn't have birthdays since 12yo ( or anything anyway :))) ) then pablo will do to her a birthday surprise after he knew it...

20 Presents for 20th Birthday~Pablo Gavi

*Pictures are from Pinterest*

this was actually so cute to write I hope you enjoy <3

request from here

master list

players/drivers I write for

Birthdays were never y/n's favorite events. Especially not her own birthday. She hadn't celebrated her birthday since she was 12. Her parents always celebrated her birthday, until her father died, and her mother never spoke to her after that, never even telling her happy birthday.

So ever since she turned 12,she had lived with her aunt, who also made sure to not celebrate her niece's birthday.

After Pablo found out about her bad experience with birthdays, he wanted to make sure her 20th birthday is one to remember.

y/n woke up in the morning, remembering that she had turned 20. As usual, she didn't expect anyone to remember her birthday. She opened her phone, only for the messages to come flooding. She was surprised, but smiled at the thoughtfulness of Gavi's friends, who are her only friends

Pedri : happy birthday y/n! have an amazing day 💖

Fermin: HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIL SIS. I HOPE YOU ENJOY YOUR DAY 🫶🏼🫶🏼

Lamine Yamal: happy birthday mom 🫶🏼

Alejandro Balde: happy birthday little one! enjoy your day to the max 🥳

Aurora💋: HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEAUTIFUL. I CANT WAIT TO SEE YOU AGAIN ❤️😍 MOM AND DAD SAY HI 😁

She felt her eyes tearing up at the sweet messages from her friends. They already made her day better when she was in a gloomy mood at the thought of that day. That's when she came across the message that made her cry.

Pablito❤️: happy birthday to my sweet beautiful girlfriend. I'm gonna make sure you have the best day ever. I love you so so so much baby. now get ready to receive your 20 gifts for your 20th birthday ❤️❤️

She replied to all the messages, smiling gratefully at the friends she has gained because of her boyfriend. After that, she got up and entered the bathroom pf her bedroom. She was met with a sticky note on her mirror.

Your skin deserves as much love and care as you give to everyone around you. I hope this helps keep your glow as radiant as your smile.

She smiled, looking at the cute box that was on the bathroom counter. She opened it and saw all the skin care products that were there. All the expensive things she had put on her wishlist previously.

After doing her skin care routine, she changed out of her PJs and left to the kitchen.

A chocolate box was waiting for her on the kitchen counter. She smiled as she read the note on it.

Each piece in this box is as rich and delightful as the moments we share. I hope you enjoy every bite my love

She felt herself blushing at his sweetness, opening the box to see all the cute chocolate bites that were there. She ate a few pieces as she drank her coffee and wondered what Pablo had also planned out. She still couldn't believe he got her 20 gifts.

She walked to the living room to continue her tour around the house, and was met with a brand new stylish handbag on the coffee table. She admired the bag, then opened it to see it's inside, only to notice a designer perfume inside, a luxury fragrance she's been wanting. With also another note.

Just like this bag carries all your essentials, may this perfume add a touch of elegance to your every day. Enjoy both as a little reminder of how much you mean to me.

She shook her head with a smile, already feeling bad and how much all this must've costed him.

y/n thought that maybe the gifts in her apartment were over, only for her to receive a message from Pablo.

Pablito❤️: you've got a few more gifts at your apartment, before Pedri picks you up for your next destination

She smiled at the message replying with a thank you for everything he had gotten her and saying he didn't have to. She went to her closet to get ready. She didn't know what to wear, but when she opened the closet, she was met with the new barca jersey, the number 6 on the back and her name printed out on the top.

Wear this jersey with pride and remember that I'm always cheering you on, no matter where you go. Can't wait to see you in it.

She grinned happily, admiring the beautiful jersey in front on her. She was always a barca fan, so receiving a jersey that has her name and Pablo's number meant the world to her.

She paired the jersey up with some wide jeans. After getting ready, she received a message from Pedri saying that he's gonna be outside her door in a few minutes.

As she was putting on her choose, something on the small table, where they put their keys, caught her attention.

Her jaw dropped when she saw the polaroid camera there, also with a note.

Capture every special moment of this day with this camera and let each photo be a snapshot of our beautiful memories together.

She beamed at the sweet message, putting the camera in her bag and heading out. She saw Pedri in his car there, a smile on his face.

She got in the car next to him and he greeted her.

"hey you. happy birthday" he said sweetly, making her smile

"thank you Pedri. now where are we going?" she asked, putting on her seatbelt.

"we are going to the stadium now" he said, starting the car.

"oh and before we move, make sure to wear these sunglasses so the sun doesn't burn your eyes" Pedri gave her a small bag.

She opened it, seeing the beautiful sunglasses inside. She smiled and put them on, before Pedri started his drive.

The drive was silent, and when they arrived y/n was about to open the door, before Pedri stopped her.

He gave her a small paper, and when she looked at it she saw that it was a voucher, for her favorite spa.

"make sure to enjoy your day at the spa whenever you want. it's available for the next two weeks" he smile.

"thank you Pedri" she said genuinely making him smile

"it's not me who you should thank. plus it's your birthday. now go don't be late" he ushered her out of his car.

She got out of the car and made her way inside the stadium.

As she started her walk, one of the staff member came by her side. She gave her a big bouquet of roses, her favorite flowers, and told her to follow her.

She walked behind her, the bouquet still in her hand. At the beginning of the hallway, she was met by Lamine.

"y/n! happy birthday" he exclaimed, giving her a small hug.

"thank you son" she joked, making him laugh.

Suddenly, he pulled a small bag from behind him, giving it to y/n

"from gavi" he said. She smiled gratefully, handing him the bouquet so she can open it.

She saw a box in the bag, seemingly a jewelry box. She opened it, and was met with some of her all time favorite lyrics.

I want to wear his initial on a chain 'round my neck, chain 'round my neck not because he owns me, but cause he really knows me

She giggled silently, removing the paper, and seeing the gorgeous gold necklace, that had the letter P on it.

Lamine helped her put her necklace on, before handing her the bouquet. She continued her walk with the staff member.

Until she was then met by Fermin.

"here's the birthday girl. how has your day been?" he asked, giving her a hug.

"it's been amazing." she answered.

He also pulled a back from behind him, giving it to y/n. She opened the box inside, and saw a gorgeous bracelet. It had her initial on it, but when she looked at the back of it, she noticed the date of hers and Pablo's anniversary on the back.

"that's adorable" she mumbled, putting the gold bracelet on.

"you gotta go now. I'll see you tonight" Fermin waved at her, before leaving her and the staff

tonight? that's weird

They walked more down the hallway, and finally they reached the pitch. The staff told y/n to walk a bit and she'll know what to do next.

y/n walked alone on the pitch, until she saw a familiar figure standing there. When she noticed it was Pablo, she placed the bouquet on the grass and ran into his arms.

She wrapped her arms around his neck tightly, while he lifted her of the ground by hugging her waist.

"I love you so much" she mumbled into his neck. He placed her down on the floor, holding her face in his hands

"did you like my gifts?" he asked softly, his voice holding adoration and love

"like them? I loved them Pablo. you shouldn't have done all that" she said, feeling guilty once again about the money he spent

He shook his head nonchalantly.

"don't be silly. that's the least I could do to make up all the birthdays of the past." he said, making her smile.

She leaned in and connected their lips into a passionate kiss, that they only pulled away from when they needed some air.

"come on you still have, how many gifts? nine?" he said, making her laugh

"20 gifts is a lot Gavi. you really shouldn't have" she said, making him sigh.

"just shut up. if it makes you better, I didn't pay for all of them yet" he said, making her confused.

"well I haven't payed for the restaurant we're having dinner at tomorrow. I haven't booked our trip to Greece yet. Also we haven't gotten our outfits for the Taylor Swift concert in Miami-" he was interrupted by her squeal

"we're gonna see Taylor Swift?!" she almost screamed making him laugh

"yes we are" he nodded, making her jump again into his arms

"I love you so so so much" she said quickly, while he kissed her temple

"I love you more, now come on we have to go shopping for your birthday party tonight" he said.

[ambivalent-anarchy]

Hurts So Bad... (Part 1)

-

Introduction

Masterlist

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Summary: For the first time, Peter Parker meets someone he has no idea how to save...

Warning: angst(obviously), mentions of suicide, depression, self-harm...

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Depression wasn't this crazy thing everyone made it out to be.

It didn't feel like you were endlessly falling. Or that there was this big secret inside of you that you just couldn't seem to find out.

It didn't feel like this desperate need to rid yourself from the world. You didn't feel like you were some terrible thing that no one should look at.

It didn't feel like wanting to cry every second of every day. Or being so filled up with sadness that you were about to overflow.

Instead, it felt like nothing.

Just that. Nothing. Empty. Listless.

Like a gigantic void that needed filling.

Sure, you smiled from time to time. Sometimes you even laughed. Like a functioning person.

But the second whatever caused you to smile was over, the void began bigger, and all of the things that once filled it quickly went from the top to falling in and disappearing and you were empty once again.

You couldn't pin it down to one exact reason. Sure you could blame your parents, but no matter how problematic they were you knew deep inside that they couldn't have been the soul reason. You could say school was causing your depression, but then again, how many times has that been said before?

The truth was, you didn't know. Maybe you were just... like this.

Your dad always told you there was no reason to be sad, as if you didn't know that.

That was the point, wasn't it? You were empty and you didn't know why and that was the problem but the second you told someone the problem they just told you that there was no reason to be empty and you already knew that and you just wanted to scream out "that's the fucking point."

But you couldn't.

So you didn't.

So eventually you stopped saying anything at all.

Because no one would really listen.

Suicide to you wasn't a need. It was a want.

It was not wanting to live with having to try every day to fill an unfillable void so the only thing you could possibly think of to end it would be ending it...

..And not being able to come up with a legitimate reason to try and stay.

And the self harm was for when the emptiness was just too much to take.

Peter was Spiderman when he met you.

Swinging on his webs, desperate to get home after an empty night of hardly any crime. He dashed over buildings, yawning after every other swing. "I need some sleep," he muttered as he finally reached his street.

Maybe it was fate. Maybe God or the universe wanted to stall you out. Or maybe Peter was just too tired to focus. But for whatever reason, Peter missed his house with one extra swing and hopped onto the apartment building beside his.

That was the one you lived in.

Quickly realizing his mistake, Peter chuckled. "I really need some sleep."

He stood on the edge of the building, preparing to jump to the next, when he heard a window open. Instinctively, he turned his head around to where the noise was coming from.

He watched as a girl climbed out of the open window, onto the fire escape staircase in front of her.

That girl was you.

You sat there, staring into the distance, your face expressionless.

Peter didn't know what kept him there, looking at him, but he did. You looked a little familiar but that was it. For some reason, he felt that he needed to be there. He needed to see you.

The universe needed him to see you lift up your sleeve and stare emotionlessly at the fresh cuts.

What you needed to make sure it was real. That the media said you needed to make sure you weren't faking it. Your shameful, painful grip to reality. Only you saw them though. They were the evidence that you hid.

But that night, Peter saw them. He saw them very clearly. "O-oh my God...," he gasped, unable to look away.

You blew them lightly, trying to ease the pain you felt. Your eyes trailed through each one, touching some and then wincing at the pain.

Peter stood helplessly, until he realized.. He was a superhero. He was supposed to help. He had to do something.

As silently as he could, he climbed down the stairs, closer to you. Where had he seen you before this?

When he was only one floor above you, he froze, as he saw a few tears trailing down your cheeks. He looked at his hands to see himself shaking. No, Spiderman couldn't do that. He was the hero. He couldn't be nervous about helping someone in need. 'Get it together, Pete...'

"A little too late to be out, don’t you think?," he said, deciding to not face the problem head-on.

Your eyes flicked to the side, but your body stayed still. You looked at the stranger with a dull expression. "Hello, Spiderman," you said softly, immediately pulling your sleeve up to cover your cuts. "There are no crimes here, as you can see..."

Quickly deciding against his previous decision, he cleared his throat. "Y'know.. that's a pretty nasty habit." That was all he could scrunch up. It probably wasn't the best thing to say, but he was already at a loss for words.

"Really? I hadn't noticed...," you said, though there wasn't a sarcastic drawl in your voice. It was as if you were in a listless trance.

Tears began to prick at his eyes. "I think-"

"I think you need to go look for crimes," you said, still staring straight ahead.

Peter sighed. "Look, I don't know you very much, but I'm sure someone loves-"

"What are you going to say next, Spiderman?," you asked, your eyes watering. "That suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem? That I'm going to hurt a lot of others while hurting myself?" You turned to look him dead in the eyes. "... that there are others out there that are going through worse?"

Oh how you hated that one.

Peter stared back. There was nothing he could actually say to come back at that. You continued, simply saying, "Thanks sir. But I've heard it all before..." He looked ahead, hopelessly thinking for some way to get ahead of this game. But as if he wasn't when there, you continued to speak.

"And they'd mourn, Spiderman. I'm sure they would.. but mourning ends after awhile." You breathed in. "-And I'm certain.. give it a year tops.. they'll remember me.. but no one still care about me... because I'd be gone."

He went to sit next to you. He didn't know what to say. "Um, do you wanna get some bandages for that?" He never fully looked at your face up close, respecting your privacy.

"I'm fine, thank you," you rushed out, just waiting for this to be over. "Thanks for your concern Spiderman but I- um, I'm fi-," you tried to say before your face scrunched up and tears began to fall. You couldn't stop it. You covered your face with your hands.

At least this was a new thing. At least now you felt something.

Peter jumped into action. He brought his arm over your shoulders. "It's okay," he said. "It's gonna be okay.."

At that, slowly through your tears, you started to smile. But it wasn't a real smile. It was a dark, bitter smile.

'It's gonna be okay' was something that you heard on a daily basis.

This Spiderman guy didn't know what you felt everyday. He hadn't known that you were on that staircase begging for the courage to jump off.

He didn't know that you were beyond help. That no amount of web-slinging, motivational quotes, or super strength would help you, or at least not for very long.

You didn't even hear the rest of the words that he said to you, or maybe he didn't say any. But it didn't matter.

You only knew that after a while, he somehow got you back through your window, into your room.

And that's when Peter realized, you went to his school. That's where he knew you from. When the light finally hit your face, he knew. Someone that he passed by in the halls every day was struggling. Someone needed saving.

And he had no idea.

-

You woke up that day feeling more tired than usual.

After sitting in your bed for a while, you stood and walked to your bathroom. The first thing you did was look into the mirror.

There were bags under your eyes. Massive bags under your eyes.

'Great.. that's what I get for crying so much last night.'

You washed your face and got dressed for the day. Then you realized.

'The razors..'

You couldn't remember whether or not you'd put them up, or thrown the dirty ones away for that matter.

'God, I'm an idiot.'

So right before school, you practically turned your entire room upside down in search for the box and the dirty razors beside them. You knew they were somewhere.

In the midst of your search, something caught your eye.

One of your sticky notes were on the window. You didn't remember putting a sticky note on the window..

You walked close. On it read:

You're right, miss. There's nothing I can say that hasn't already been said before. But I will say this. I'm involved now. It's my duty to save people in need of saving and that's exactly what I plan to do. I wasn't kidding when I said that it's going to be okay.

Your friend, Spiderman.

You must've read the note over a trillion times before you realized you were late for school.

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Taglist: @eridanuswave, @pastelbunny1501

[girlempoweringmuchsuccess]

Have you dated yourself lately?

Countless times of putting others' needs before your own and not thinking twice about it as you complete your tasks last? Well, there's nothing wrong with that at all. That's how we should be, but- there's a big but, don't continue to inconvenience yourself any longer. What I mean is start to put yourself towards the top of the list over time until you finally lessen neglecting your own needs as much. It's good to help others and complete other tasks as well as your own, but if you keep ignoring that inner urge to think of YOU more, to rest when you truly need, to say no, to finally go to the doctor or read this book that's collecting dust on the shelf, to visit the nail salon or your grandma, to take a quick and inexpensive trip or a long one on vacation--shall I go on? I think you get the point. To be country for a second, if you don't sat down somewhere and give your body and mind time to catch up, your body will do so for you. Usually when it does, it ain't pretty. Trust me I know it's hard and you feel guilty to say no or not over extend yourself with too many events and tasks, especially difficult for ambitious, social and perfectionist people, but you have to so you can refuel on energy you need to stay in your greatness. So my loves I'll list a few suggestions to help you relax and recharge. 1. Stop fighting the urge to not rest and well, rest. 2. Tell the folks you talk to most in a mass message that your phone will be on do not disturb so they won't be worried and get some sleep girl. 3. Try eating healthy snacks when you're stressed instead of emotionally eating. 4. Scratch number 3 if you really need some sugar or coffee in your life. Lol 5. Cook your favorite meal or bake a new dessert. 6. Have a day or night outing with yourself. (Do dinner and a movie, buy a new outfit, get that hair slayed, flex your muscles boy and get a fresh hair cut or line up, buy some new J's, etc.) 7. Look at yourself in the mirror and say something positive or start writing positive adjectives about yourself on sticky notes and place them in places you may forget about so you can surprise yourself. 8. It may sound corny but buy yourself a card, flowers or a new video game. 9. Smoke a cigar or weed (lol... it's very relaxing, don't judge me cause I'm not a regular). 10. Listen to music in a bubble bath, especially soothing classical styles. 11. Jot down your thoughts/goals and make a plan of action. 12. Start going back to church regularly, especially bible class. 13. Have praise and worship moments with God and yourself. 14. Flaunt a flaw to produce confidence and boost self esteem. 15. Forgive someone you've held a grudge against. 16. Have a glass of wine. 17. Catch up on your favorite tv shows or vlogs with a nice smelling candle and your favorite snacks. 18. Pick up playing an instrument or another task on your to do or bucket list. 19. Stop being uber cause gas ain't cheap and you'll need an oil change way more often. 20. Have a twerk session alone when nobody's watching. 21. Take time to process your emotions. They will hit once you finally rest and be patient with yourself as you sort through them. What I've learned is that it is so vital to make time for yourself and get in a habit of it sooner than later. Don't over work yourself. Baby that job will be there and it won't hurt for you to take off from time to time. Your sanity is key and you're not a machine. Love yourself enough to listen to your radar (gut feeling, intuition) when it tells you to rest. Ask God for the strength to make you a tougher cookie than you already are. If you don't take care of you better how you gonna be strong enough to be there for others and dare to dream with no energy to support it all? Taking time out for yourself is a healthy foundation to a more fulfilling and healthy life. Folks will get mad but they will also get over it and may take note themselves. Guard your temple and guard it good!!