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#I'm having a Bad Time(tm)
sneak-a-cat · 2 years
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i don’t want to do work i want to be a failure to capitalist society
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rox-of-iu · 1 year
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ayoo guess who finally sat down and caught up with cultivate B)
is me. so you know what that means.
spoiler warning for cultivate ch 30-37
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there was actually.... more things i wanted to draw but I already did so many I had to physically restrain myself hfsjkkdh anyway yes can you tell i love this fic very much
yet once again. cultivate by the wonderful @neonghostcat
#liushen#cultivate#cultivate: slow life on a monster infested mountain#mu qingfang#tagging him as well since theres lot of focus on him lol#and shen jiu as well u have to excuse me I love them they're meow meows#there was gonna be more sj content also but he ended up being cut in the end#wait- hdfdfhkj probably shouldnt talk about cutting something and SJ in the same sentence lmao jhfksdhfk ok bad joke sorry#anyway aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa absolutely deceased with all that has been revealed and covered in the past few chapter#actually dead wonderful powerful talented incredible showstopping never seen before#my most favourite part of cultive is its mysteries without a shadow of a doubt they're so intriguing and the reveal is ALWAYS sooo satisfyi#so the chain reaction of so many answers of the big ones tm? chefs kiss MWA#speaking of mysteries i never mentioned it before because I didn't know how to incorporate it without it being awkward but#for the longest time one particular piece of info has been rotting in my brain#and it was the off-hand comment on of the aqueduct by LQG#it is SO SILLY but THATS the one that has been just spinning in my brain FROM THEN ON ALL THE TIME it is indeed not the actually much coole#checkovs guns that have been setup nooo it was THIS hjkjsdfhksd I HAD TO KNOW where that was going AND NOW I KNOW I CAN REST EASY jsdhfkd#so yeah absolutely wonderful chapters indeed beautiful powerful#also some of you may noticed that time and time again I keep switching up the seniority between bai zhan and qian cao#and i have to formally apologize for that it is in fact not out of lack of attention to the text I'm just shdjkas#if im not mistaken qian caos position is not set in stone in canon so its free for grabs to put it in any of the free spots on the list#so i should respect neonghostcats (beloved i am so sorry) list in this case but i physically couldn't bring myself to write mqf as shidi#HSAJHS im sorry i am so biased and from doctors family i cannot put him in my head in peak seniority so low I'm sry i am legally not allowe#so lets just pretend i wrote it correctly ok sadhkas eyes closed xD#OOF th etags got long this time but im just SOOOO EXCITED WITH THIS FIC AND GOT FEELINGS OK BYE#anyway neonghostcat godspeed recovery buddy!!#also i hope using neonghostcat isnt like....calling u by your full name hdkfh but no idea to which parts i should shorten it either so hah
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stormlit · 22 days
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lads...i think spending 7.5 years on the same blog was a mistake
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angorwhosebabyisthis · 7 months
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things that really suck: when a fucked up fictional dynamic is genuinely upsetting to you in a way that'd normally be much easier to engage with and process if you dead doved it, except the ship in question has been ruined for you by Bad Associations so that is a no-go and you're left to deal with the upsetting shit raw. ugh
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wyrddogs · 1 year
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One of the biggest reasons I really dislike infant puppies is so much time and energy is dedicated to making sure they get training, and socialization, and playtime, and physical and mental exercise. And you have to be on top of them 100% of the time to make sure they aren't harassing your other dogs or chewing power cords or inventing new ways to kill themselves.
Which means when the infant is down for a nap I have to do my chores or rest, which means that my adult dog and I are not getting the physical exercise we are used to/need. And I'm too tired to give my adult dog the mental exercise he's used to/needs.
So I'm playing with Zaku so he'll be tired enough to nap and Kermit stands a few feet to the side and just barks at me.
Things will get better once I can take this puppy for walks, but man, this first month is rough.
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pervypeachdraws · 2 years
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clingy dog boyfriend
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so i have managed to get zero writing done, bc i'm out of my adhd meds. and cvs says they are on backorder so it could be a while before i get them. but i NEED them. and the store just expects you to personally call every other cvs nearby and ask them if they have what you need. you know, instead of just doing it themselves, like they should bc it's their goddamn job to see their clients receive their medication. and i cannot function without it. but i hate making phone calls, my social anxiety is so bad that i get super nervous and can barely make it through the conversation without crying. it's not fair. adhd meds like adderall have been hard to get for over a year. and my goddamn insurance won't pay for it anyway, so I'm gonna have to pay out of pocket.
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also if only the physical copy of how to disappear completely & never be found i first encountered & read a few years ago (sort of [roughly avg age ten] reader book, not any similarly titled How To) hadn't disappeared completely & not been found since, probably b/c i put it somewhere i intended to be For Safekeeping, which is also how my binder vanished....b/c it's one of those like. those book for late elementary/middle school readers when they just weave in this unrealism which makes for a delightful range & unpredicability? and with a cynical protagonist girl like off to the races like wow her mom is depressed asf & smoking? and it's about A Family History Secrets Mystery so blatantly a haunting that the inciting incident is basically introducing a haunted [family history secrets mystery] house. and spoilers don't matter like it's stemming from there being this missing uncle who grew up so in contrast to the Winsome Winning Sibling Who Does It All Right while seeing his own affiliation with rats that he tried to disappear completely & never be found which led to this Tragedy which led to this more unintended disappearance of his & he haunts this house & wants to be left alone & only goes out at night with this [ambiguous Is That A Giant Rat Or Weird Small Dog (protagonist affected by these family situations who expresses her preoccupation with an awareness of how fate can Strike and Get you with this interest with roving packs of killer chihuahuas. people think she's weird though she spontaneously befriends this other girl struck with this bolt from the blue & a bit weird / outcast & then Insightful who i wish was in it more)] & plays into the hauntedness danger like playing into the [something's Wrong with you then] until having to take yet more action where the urge to express the truth comes out more both b/c living that hidden is more threatened but also b/c now the niece children are more threatened as well. ft. a sort of preternatural blurring of time b/c of only being communicated with through this uncle via his comic pages (that he paints?) of dubiously accurate translations of irl events that are created so quickly it seems to verge on foresight, imagine like "hmm what's this painting. it's me standing in this room looking at this painting??? as someone ominous lurks in the shadows right behind me?" in both [now how could you know this & paint it really fast ahead of time] and [horror]
#i've had good times & thrills & things from other books i've read in the past xyz years & all#but i think this had the best in its final sections with [''uncle rat!''] like that was so incredibly unbelievably hype#and a further ending with a reconciliation that lets the Weirdo still be how they are but with more support lmao#i'm like yeah i want to live in the abandoned house only coming out at night only leaving secret homemade books with Some Truths#yeah i wanna exist in secret passageways & be unseen & uninteracted with & get by despite it all; sure#and disappear (mostly) and (not be found for a while until you have more motivations to help very parallel parties)#and have an affinity & affiliation with animals ppl are also like oh weird bad gross Never Want To See Them who are scroungily around#not implied to be a supernatural connection rather than just like. oh this person is a friend. from chihuahuas; rats; coatis....#also the How To & Never Be book's like core event to The Mystery is. truly so tragic lmao my god. it's really great#i'll just see about reading a digitization somewhere b/c i am Not gonna be able to find it#and the uncle is So mysterious that like. you don't get many Interactions w/him & are just going off of these emergent factors#the situations as they are as consequences of prior events; that he Is this withdrawn & communicating As some haunting monster etc#the way you technically don't also get to know like [what was bruno like prior] Directly W/Promised Accuracy and yet#the [metaphorically i mean] angle going on for everyone like perceiver truth teller Weird Odd One Out yeah yes#bit like [ :) (devastation)] verse talking abt him through a ''so your disabled relative'' lens (who also even w/magic was Just Existing)#here's a guy just existing like :) = my god this absolutely sicko who would even do something like that lmfao. god we've all been there#grappling with [tendencies] they couldn't understand....many things + just the way bruno approaches Speaking is like. okay.#my man's autistic. highest honor i can bestow. among other plausible ways of being disabled / nonconforming / abnormal#also the highest honor....rat affiliated disappeared uncle in How To? well he's really simply not possible ''yes he is Normal(tm)'' so
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seaofreverie · 3 months
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Anyway.... Back to what I was pondering earlier today... It's been 4 months but I'm still as deeply obsessed with Exotic Creatures of the Deep as at the very start
#00s sparks albums save me#save me 00s sparks albums#the question of how it's been 4 months already aside#i have decided to name this album my official Mental Breakdown Album TM#so it's a good thing that it doesn't really bring me any unhappy associations. even though it could#because when i started listening to it in early march#it turned out to become one of my lowest periods in the mental well-being sense. like. ever.#it's gotten better though and later i discovered that whenever i got into that slump again#and nothing at all felt like an alluring thing to do and even most music couldn't cheer me up#i still felt like listening to ecotd at least#sometimes you get into specific albums or artists at the exact right moment and this was one of such times for sure#i have so many thoughts about this album but if i tried to write them down#it would probably all just be an illegible mess. one day i'll do it though. or at least try to#as for now i can at least say that the possibly most suffering-inducing (positive) songs for me are strange animal and likeable#i'll never forget the moment i first heard strange animal as part of the from the basement set#what a SONG!!! and that entire performance changed my brain chemistry forever#and. GODDDDDKJHKEFLJMKBELKPJ... LIKEABLE!!!#the connection i feel on some metaphysical level to that song the melody the instrumentation the lyrics#is way beyond what words can explain. or i'm just bad at putting these kind of things into words#it's soooo oooughhggahgh.....#also i don't know exactly how it happened#but i can't believe etc immediately became my most listened to song according to my last fm (which i made around then)#and it has stayed in that spot ever since#ok that's my sparks madness talk for today. i'll probably never be normal about them. not that i even want to#sparks am i right. goddddd#goosepost
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niuxita21 · 1 year
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One day I’m gonna write a book. Can you imagine? A novel about everything that you and I have gone through? [Mariana laughs] It would be called “Ana and Mariana.” We’re going to be free soon, and we’ll be able to reinvent ourselves. So I’m sure you’re gonna write that book, and it’s gonna be awesome. We’ll see what happens. We have to let things flow, right? I think your novel is gonna be one of those that are pretty dark. Maybe one of those that are so romantic that you can’t put them down?
#madre solo hay dos#ana servín#mariana herrera#shitty screencap posts (TM)#I.... I don't even know what to say man#this is... A LOT truly can't wrap my head around it yet idk if I ever will#but I'm gonna try to be coherent because I don't want this post to have very few tags lol#um... so let's start with the adorable drunk faces#I love how somehow ana's is just *hearteyes intensify* and mariana is just *adorable sleepy drunk* hee#once again highlighting the different places they are at feelings-wise#I mean you don't just DECIDE to kiss your bff out of the blue one night just bc you're drunk like that shit has to have been festering#(exhibit A: Tender Brushing of Hair Behind the Ear: Fake Dating Edition)#I also love ana's rudimentary flirting omg girlfriend has it BAD and she doesn't even realize it#'I'm gonna write a novel about our story and it's gonna be suuuuper romantic' WHO SAYS THAT LMAOOOOO ily ana#also I adore how even at the beginning of the scene when ana's drunk brain hasn't crossed over into thinking about romance yet#and she's talking about the novel and looking at mariana her eyes keep darting to her lips#as effortlessly as when she was high on choco-shrooms right before she told mariana she loved her and kissed her for the first time#(GAWD that seems like forever ago and yet look... the consistency is ASTOUNDING)#most importantly though... I was truly surprised about how enthusiastic mariana was about the whole thing#she was like 'ferrán? who dat?' lmao thanks for that show#I'm fascinated by what this says about her like it's canon that she's in love with ferrán and she will say as much I think in the next ep?#but given the opportunity (and setting aside for a moment the fact that she was utterly hammered)#she was 100% down for banging ana enthusiastically and without being at all conflicted#I hope it speaks to the fact that the feelings she once had for ana are maybe not completely gone?#I can already see the next few episodes are gonna be rough so maybe that's why they gave us this episode lol#I only just finished watching and I've already lost count of how many times I've rewatched those last few minutes god truly god-tier tv#unrelated but please wallpaper my tombstone with the last two caps lord they are just so pretty
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chronal-anomaly · 1 year
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One day I'll talk about the impact of public relations and marketing in Overwatch and the impact that it had on Lena's sense of self.
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chaoswithstars · 2 years
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I think I'm one of the only three people on earth who actually quite likes Paimon (barring some... interesting situations) and her voice.
So many people say she's annoying but I'm like. But I love her, your honor. She's so supportive and empathic, your honor. She's excited about everything and feels a bit like a little kid and I want to protect her, your honor.
Like idk. I like her. I think her voice direction is pretty neat. I'm in the minority, but I'm also pretty set on it, so.
(I'm playing Ei's second quest and just... Paimon's voice is killing me. I'm having cute agression feelings and nowhere to vent them so)
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takiki16 · 2 years
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are u entering a jon hamm phase?
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#my posts#jon hamm#I'M HONESTLY SO FRUSTRATED AND IT'S LIKE...beyond the USUAL frustration that i feel#when i get suckered into an imdb walk for a very Basic Looking White Dilf who happened to turn a key in my brain under a blue moon!!!!!#the thing is that YES i'm going through a H A M M phase and it is COMPLETELY the fault of unpretty's Sorrowful and Immaculate Hearts series#on account of Jon Hamm is their ideal fancast for bruce wayne and honestly it's a GOOD CASTING#but then i remembered that i saw baby driver once upon a time and thought buddy and darling were super hot and now i'm HERE#WATCHING FUKKKKING MAD MEN AND BEING MISERABLE ABOUT IT#it's not that jon hamm is a bad actor - he does a very good job actually! the Emmy was deserved!#it's not even that it's his ONLY good work - he does OTHER WORK and in different genres than '60s drama and he does well!#it's simply that none of jon hamm's work really CLICKS with me in the way I'm looking for when i do an imdb walk#i like to be able to like...ROOT for the character my current fave plays? I like them to be an Empathetic Protagonist?#preferrably in a genre setting and/or with interesting and attractive costuming so I can ooh and ahh?#keanu reeves was GREAT for this. keanu has a lot of suitable Leading Man roles that lent themselves well to imdb walk#but the H A M M -as i have said - seems to EXCLUSIVELY play roles along a very specific spectrum!!!#either he's some kind of Mid to Highly Toxic Masculinity Man who is Handsome (TM) and knows it and is a jerk#or there is Nothing Behind Those Eyes except part of the humor is that it's jon hamm so no one ever like...pegs his himbo characters#the whole point of them seems mostly to laugh at them and never to exploit the appeal of Golden Retriever Boyfriend#it's less of a spectrum than a venn diagram but THE WHOLE THING is that Don Draper is jon hamm's most famous role#and while Mad Men is such an aesthetically pretty show it does NOT SPARK JOY IN ME. EVERYONE IS CYNICAL AND MISERABLE ALL THE TIME#and the rest of the H A M M's filmography seems to be deliberately in reaction to don draper in SOME form#but sadly the reaction never goes to roles that i find the most endearing? WHICH IS SUCH A PETTY COMPLAINT AND MY TASTE IS VERY BAD#BUT LIKE...THAT'S WHY I'M IN DENIAL ABOUT THIS IMDB WALK AND GENERALLY FEELING SAD ABOUT IT
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angorwhosebabyisthis · 7 months
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i think it is probably a sign of the process of healing from the trauma of having every word out of my mouth ripped apart, mocked, and treated as an unforgivable offense warranting Extreme Rage and Vitriol, and having it explained to me in excruciating and hateful detail why my thought processes and basic turns of phrase and the things i thought were worth expressing were stupid worthless gibberish, unbearable to listen to, and the root of everything wrong with society, by redditor-ass faux-intellectuals in my life growing up for being awkwardly phrased/not concise enough/mildly whimsical, that some days i'm proud of my meta and some days i can barely stand to look at it. but god that does not make the second one more fun.
#whosebaby talks#personal stuff#abuse cw#ableism cw#gaslighting cw#it says something that i considered just leaving this in my drafts solely for being an awkwardly phrased; probably hard-to-read run-on#when that is literally what the post is about lol#and i will count it as a victory that i caught myself went fuck that and posted it anyway#it is not morally wrong to speak awkwardly#doing my best to be clear about important distinctions and concepts in the ideas i am expressing is not synonymous with#'sound polished and perfect; sound like a professional lecturer reading off a prepared speech'#'never write a sentence someone may have to reread a couple times; never use a word too many times; never use a cliche turn of phrase'#and it's also not synonymous with 'never express a feeling or use a metaphor; or talk about an idea of any complexity'#'or say things that are Obvious(tm)'#i believe i am good at expressing ideas and the ideas i feel are worth expressing matter.#believing that; so i can do my best to work to live up to it; is an active choice.#i have chosen to believe based on the evidence available to me that i make a hell of a lot more sense than it feels like#on days when the people who have claimed i'm unintelligible in bad faith; because i talk in a way that's easy to *make* unintelligible#if you know where to strike to throw me off and keep me from pulling an idea together#are loud in my ear#but like. it's okay. It is Okay. to express yourself and fucking be awkward about it.#it's okay to be Emotional in a way that's not the Current Acceptable Style. it's okay to use lots of heavy emphasis#it's okay to repeat yourself. it's okay to sound Pretentious(tm) and it's okay to sound 'childish' and it's okay to run on sentences#and a thousand other things. the things you have to say do not matter less for it and you have no less right to attempt it#you're not stupid or unbearable; it's not a waste of people's time to listen or make the effort to understand you#and it's not entitled of you to expect them to damn well try. it is not on you to do all the labor of chewing their food up for them#so they don't have to meet you halfway. you shouldn't have to put up with people being lazy dismissive assholes bc you're at a disadvantage#which like. i say this for myself; but if you're reading these tags and you needed to hear someone say any of it; it's for you too#fuck em. you're allowed to talk.
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sheliesshattered · 1 year
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The overdress is all in one piece! And we have sleeves! With bonus screen accurate Rhaenyra ring!
Work has been extra weird this week, but weird in a way that's given me more time to iron and pin and sew than I usually have. So I was able to get through that long list of pressing tasks from my last post, and then pin the two front panels to the side panels (which are already sewn to the back panels), pin the back seams of the sleeves, and sew those four seams earlier today.
With those seams done, the sleeves are sleeve-shaped and the dress is basically dress-shaped. All of those new seams need pressed, and the sleeve seams will need to be hand-finished since the black silk organza is a bit itchy on its cut edges. There's just one more body seam left to sew for the dress, the center front seam, and then the little shoulder seams.
There's quite a lot of finishing to be done, both on the dress and the sleeves. In the above pic, the sleeve is just clamped closed at the underside of the wrist, and once it has its hooks-and-eyes it'll fit a lot more smoothly. And then there's all the seam finishing for the dress, hemming the neck and armscyes and skirt edge, and handsewing on all the trim and beading. Lots to do!
I've been working little by little on the handsewing for the seams finishes for the underdress, and then it will need all its hemming too. But when possible I've been trying to focus on the overdress, because if it came down to it, I would rather have the overdress done and leave the underdress somewhat unfinished. But today is exactly 15 weeks until I have to pack for Dragon Con, so I've still got time, and I'm hoping I can get everything finished to my liking in the time remaining.
Besides the dress itself, I still have a few things to do on the wig, and I've been tracking down the jewelry pieces one by one, and I may actually end up making one piece that I've been unable to find. I also want to make a little handbag to carry all my stuff at con, but that's definitely on the nice-to-have list.
Some days I feel like I'll be able to get through this whole project with time to spare, and other days I feel like I'm going to be working on it up until the very last moment, and maybe have to cut corners to get it done. Getting through this last portion of machine sewing and into all the extensive handsewing will hopefully give me a better idea of how long the whole thing will take.
But, of course, I'm already having Ideas™ about what other cosplays I could make for Dragon Con this year, if I do end up having time at the end of the summer. One of them would be pretty straightforward, and I could use the same pattern as this project with just a few modifications, and I already have at least most of the materials I would need to complete it. The other one is completely ridiculous, with tedious machine sewing and handsewing, but damn it would be fun.
Welp. I guess if I want to have any hope of finishing this cosplay and maybe one or two more after that, I should probably get back to it. My iron awaits!
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shklovsky · 9 months
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i need to go to the gym tomorrow morning. i'll be exhausted all day but i'll maul someone if i don't go and chill out
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