#I'm nervous because I haven't shared my art in YEARS

[millenniumscreampuff]

They say this picture is haunted...

[plulp]

HIIII everybody good morning ❤️ i now have 50 followers (more than 50 now) and i hope that i don't get any more or else i'll have to block everyone (just kidding. i wouldn't do that.)

but now that we're all here if you have a dol pc you want me to draw PLEASE send it to me through asks i'll try to draw as many as i physically can because i think it's funny and i'm going to regret this later

just send in:

- your pc (IMAGE!!!)

- info about them maybe? (i want to know everyone in detail. i love you all. let's all get married)

- and you can ask for a dol character too if you want (my designs because i literally do not know anyone else's i'm sorry i don't look at fan art often anymore but if you have a specific design i can do that too)

and that's it!!

thank you all so much for being so kind to me and i appreciate it a lot :) everything means a lot to me and i'm glad you all like my art

if you don't want to see these asks please block the tag #spulpal <- !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[butchsophiewalten]

Was waiting until ep 4 to ask but for the character opinion bingo thingymajiggy could you do bon (the spirit/evil murder robot ) if you haven't already

Oh my god, Bon. I love Bon so much. I'm so glad that I love Bon so much.

Bon, the animatronic rabbit, has over the course of the couple last years become one of my favorite characters. At this point, he's right up there with Jenny and Sophie. So when we first got that Findjackwalten "Bon" reveal, I was very... apprehensive? For me it was just really underwhelming. I honestly think my biggest complaint was just that, aesthetically, he was so much more boring than Bon, the animatronic rabbit. I love Bon. What I didn't love was this like, clip art character. He was just a guy? Like a human guy? He didn't even look fun. There was so little there to sell me on the idea of Bon as a character. It's funny, though, since I really think part of what frustrated me was that the part that made Bon an Evil Killer was divorced from him being a rabbit. Which is a really silly thing to say, but I just honestly hadn't expected there to be any 'form' of Bon that came aesthetically separate from the mystique of the rabbit animatronic. And I love rabbits, they're my favorite animals. (Well, hares are, really. But rabbits get to share the love.) So it was a very petty kind of upset.

But oh my god, seeing "Bon" in this episode has totally turned me around. Like wow, he is fun! He is aesthetically interesting! Which is why I've written that 'so relieved' point on top of the one that usually says 'wasted potential'. I'd had an idea in my mind of what "Bon" would be since we saw that "Bon" text on Findjackwalten in fucking January of 2022. That's a lot of time to stew in your thoughts. If "Bon" ended up being something I wasn't happy with, I was gonna be really disappointed. But I wasn't!

It's been really fun learning to attribute some of my favorite aspects of Bon, the killer animatronic, to "Bon", the white ghost, because they are effectively the same. I can't help but find him really cute, honestly? I love his girlish mannerisms. I love his penchant for.. Fashion? I say this remembering one of the old entries on the Martin's Secret Lair findjackwalten page. His love of music? Y'know, obviously he kills people and is evil and manipulative. But he does it cutely. Definitely the rabbit aspect is doing something to endear me.

Beyond that purely emotional endearment, I'm genuinely very interested in him as a character as well... It's a little hard to talk about, though, since my feelings are so new and so poorly thought-out, honestly. But something I've been thinking about for a while is his relationship with Rosemary... From how I see it, he seems to have a strange sort of infatuation with her. He calls her Rosie... he puts her in Sha... Less objectively, his little shrine to her in Souvenir seems very elaborate to me, at least relatively. And assuming the "Rose broken. Will fix you" dialogue is diegetic and we're meant to think that Bon spoke to Rose before killing her... Well, it's just very interesting to me that he seemed to try to explain to her what was going on. It's really fucked, honestly, and it's something I'd really like to know more about. His conversation with Susan in 4 makes me think his criteria for killing people has at least something to do with, like, whether or not he likes someone. Really really fucked and really, really interesting.

God there's really so much to say about Bon... But I'm nervous too, since I don't really know how well I can articulate what I feel. It feels a little like there's warring factions in me, between the Me that thinks the animatronic serial killer is so Silly Cutesy and Me that's really horrified by and invested in the Lore and Context behind everything that Bon, as a character and narrative force, is actually doing. Not that those feelings necessarily can't coexist. The way he talks to Susan is so unsettling to me... it's strangely tender, honestly. Like a genuine attempt for comfort, despite the context. I feel like I have a million little half-observations to make, but none of them amount to a full thought. Bon is really fucked! I'm so happy that I find him actually really cool and interesting! I want to take him clothes shopping and feed him Tchaikovsky records. Martin said he liked Classical music but I think that's. well not Wrong but inarticulate. I think he's a Romantic girl. He loves some Beethoven. Some Liszt. whjat am i even saying anymore

[isthisfree]

Thank you!

I wanted to take a minute and give a big thank you to the Obikin community here! I feel like I've found a pretty great corner of the internet and I'm really thankful for you all. I started out just basically peaking in on everyone, too nervous to even reblog (to be honest I'm still not sure how that works lol) or send an ask on anon. But everyone I follow here now just seemed so nice I finally started sending asks in (on anon of course lol). And I'm so happy I did!

Thank you @rexismycopilot for being so sweet and kind to the very first ask I ever sent. It really helped me feel less anxious and accepted. I tend to forget that Obikin is a "controversial" ship because you are all just so amazing, welcoming, and kind.

And thank you @tennessoui , @kyberkenobi , @himboskywalker , @intermundia , @ragnarlothcat , and @tideswept for taking time out of your lives to answer my silly asks and for everything you have given to us all. Every notification I get from here or ao3 really makes my days better!

I also want to send a massive thank you to @palfriendpatine66 who encouraged me (still on anon lol) to take a really long ask I sent them about an idea of theirs and turn it into a fic. I probably would have never taken the words out of my head and put them onto "paper" if not for them.

It just added a second fic to ao3 and it hit me that I owe you all so much in terms of confidence and just a general feeling of self acceptance. In a little over a year I went from being terrified of accidently liking anything in case someone saw (oh no!) to posting on ao3. It's just amazing and I owe it all to this community.

And thank you to everyone who I haven't added here who has taken their time and given us such amazing fics and art and posts! I love our two idiots and I'm so happy I have found others to share it with!

[amiharana]

ok I was reading thru your tattoo/flower shop au and I had to share the brainrot.

I hc revali as indigenous (particularly great plains native american) and oh man, what if at some point he very hesitantly brings up with link that he wants to get facial tattoos or something similar that's significant to him but he's nervous?? And Link goes out of his way to learn traditional stick-n-poke techniques so he can be the one to give revali his tattoos?? And it's like super sweet and meaningful for them both and Link feels honored that revali trusts him enough to ask? (and also revali is scared shitless and Link has to stop several times so he doesnt mess up and hurt revali more than it typically would)

like what if though???

ahem (taps mic) Hello can anyone hear me. i haven't written a tumblr ask in ages i feel ancient

first of all, i'm glad to hear that you still think of my tattoo/flower shop au haha it's been way over a year now since i wrote it. i still very much appreciate everyone who drew art for it 🫶 i've had a few passing thoughts about writing it into an actual proper multi-chaptered fic but i've been busy wrestling with school, work, and my personal demons for the past year that it's been quite difficult to even think about writing anything. thank you to anyone who's still here; i appreciate you a lot 🤍

i love the hc of revali as indigenous and i think it really fits in with the presence of the rito people as we're introduced to in the games, but i won't touch on that too much since i'm not indigenous/well-versed in indigenous culture. you know what i Am well-versed in though? these gay ass mfs

i had to reread my own au post for this Lord it's been too long, i wrote back then that i thought of revali as someone who isn't too fond of tattoos and doesn't have a great pain tolerance for them, and i still believe in that LOL. mixing that in with a hc where revali is indigenous is quite interesting, because i would assume that tattoos are an important/frequently appearing aspect of the culture? revali's parents have also passed in this au and he's alone with no family running the shop, so perhaps revali was estranged from his indigenous culture while growing up/at some point and became interested in trying to connect with it as an adult. maybe he came across the topic of traditional tattoos and after researching about it, he became interested in getting one but again because of his low pain tolerance, he thought it probably may never happen. well...

during one of their shared lunch breaks perhaps at a new cafe that's opened up on tabantha street, revali absentmindedly mentions his family and the tattoos. link immediately looks up at him from his food, those lovely blue eyes searching his face curiously.

"traditional tattoos?" he says, cocking his head at revali. revali blinks. well, of course link would have interest in the topic since he was a fellow tattoo artist himself, but the way he was looking at revali was...

"well yes," revali continues. "i suppose i haven't really talked to you much about myself personally, have i? i'm an indigenous hyrulean and my blood is descended from the rito tribe, but i'm not well-versed in my own culture." he mumbles the last few words, looking down at his coffee. "my parents and i lived on reservation land until i was 5 and then we moved away to a bigger city for work. there weren't many other rito there and so i didn't grow up with a lot of other indigenous folk. i don't know much about my family or my culture because of it, and even after my parents passed, it's never come up until now." revali glances back at link, who is now watching him with rapt attention. he looks away again, his cheeks beginning to warm. "i thought it would be nice to connect with my culture by getting a traditional tattoo of the rito tribe, perhaps something small so i can handle it. though, i wouldn't be able to travel to the reservation to find a traditional tattooist because of the shop and neither do i know of any tattoo artists nearby that could do it..."

"i'll do it," link says suddenly. revali looks at him again and blinks. link's eyes are bright and wide, blazing with determination. he's still holding his sandwich in his hands.

"i-i couldn't ask that of you," revali says, heart skipping a beat. "you'd likely have to learn an entire new and unfamiliar technique, and—"

"i'll do it," link insists, placing the sandwich down and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. his eyes are still trained on revali, just as insistent as his mouth is. revali swallows.

"use a napkin, please," he mutters, passing link one. the blond takes it and grins at him. "if it's something that you greatly desire to do... i will assist you in offering as much information as i can. i... appreciate it, link." i appreciate you, he thinks but the words get stuck in his throat. link's smile only grows.

thinking about link who researches rito tribal tattoos for a few weeks and reporting and discussing his findings with revali during their mon/wed lunch breaks. thinking about link who spends countless nights staying up compiling everything he finds into a document, the different types of tribal tattoos and their meanings, researching the materials and tools needed for traditional tattoos, sketching different tribal symbols endlessly for the perfect one for revali in between tattoo sessions with other clients, thinking about where on revali's body it would go, thinking about revali's warm skin under his hands... let's keep it PG link 🫡

the day finally arrives when link introduces the tattoo sketches to revali. link probably shows him a few ideas of a small rito symbol on his fingers, wrist, deltoid, ankle, and even ribs. HOWEVER. i really like the idea of the winged rito symbol across the back of revali's shoulders to represent his wings in canon? so what if. link who sketched a drawing of revali's back muscles with the winged rito symbol and he doesn't mean to show it to revali since it's a much bigger tattoo than revali wanted, but revali happens upon it anyway while scrolling through the sketches on link's ipad.

"what's this one?" revali says pointing at it.

link glances over at the screen and flushes. "oh, i didn't mean for you to see this one," he murmurs. he uses two fingers to zoom in on the image slightly. "i just had an idea for this particular symbol, so i sketched it out because i thought it'd look nice. i know you wanted a smaller one, so we can just focus on the first sketches—"

"it's beautiful," revali cuts him off, voice soft and still looking at the winged sketch. "how much do back tattoos hurt?" and link is jaw dropped, staring at him with hearts in his eyes LMFAOOOOOOOO

thinking about link who actually reaches out to a traditional tattooist from revali's tribe and asks if he can mentor link so he can learn their technique??? maybe link and revali who end up traveling to the reservation together so revali can visit and link can learn directly from the tattooist??? revalink road trip and sharing a bed trope??? link would probably only take a week tops to learn the technique since he's like a prodigal artist and the tattooist is impressed. also revali getting to spend time with and learn more about his culture from others from the tribe who live there 🥺

if revali does get the winged rito symbol tattoo on his back, he probably wouldn't get it as a solid color, maybe link would incorporate more tribal lineart into it like the totk zonai imagery? i've never gotten a tattoo so i don't know if back tattoos or the style of solid color tattoos would hurt, but regardless, link would make revali as comfortable as he can throughout all the sessions 🥺🥺🥺

originally when i read this ask and you mentioned facial tattoos, i thought about link gently holding revali's jaw between his pointer finger and thumb to readjust the positioning of his face in the midst of tattooing him, and revali sucking in a breath at the contact WAHHHH but with the direction i took with this post, i also thought about link laying a flat palm between revali's shoulder muscles, feeling the warmth of his skin and tracing his shoulder blades with a featherlight touch and revali getting flustered but muttering, "are you going to keep me in suspense?"

link traces a line down revali's spine. "are you sure you want to get this tattoo?" he murmurs. "we can still do the smaller ones instead if you want. i know how you feel about it, with your pain tolerance and all."

revali snorts, trying to mask his nervousness. "i've already made up my mind. it's a beautiful piece that you put a lot of thought into and i'm not backing out now. besides..." revali's voice lowers into a mumble. "i wouldn't have gone through with it if it was anyone else. i trust you."

link's cheeks pinked in the sweet way they do when revali catches him off-guard, but he can't take it back. he doesn't want to take it back, because it's true; revali trusts link for this with everything he has.

hhh . AHHHH . i just think. yeagh.

[amadwinter]

A different kind of WIP Wednesday

Not a fic this time, but after a wonderful post about making bad art from @unspuncreature and a little encouragement from @lilredghost (thank you 🧡), I wanted to share something else I have in progress: my drawing abilities.

I wouldn't necessarily say I'm good. In fact, sometimes my drawings are downright bad. But considering there have been times in the last year where I haven't even been able to hold a pencil due to health issues, I'm happy to be where I am and just keep improving little by little each time.

I've never shared any of these with anyone before so I'm quite nervous, but there's no time like the present.

Many photos from my sketchbooks ahead!

So, for starters, I've been drawing sporadically since I was about 11 (about 18 years). I've never seriously made a habit out of it, and I've never attempted any formal instruction or classes. One day, I'll post images from my sketchbooks from over the years, because yes, I have kept all of them for posterity's sake

Last year, 2023, I made a New Years Resolution to draw something every day.

I actually made a decent go of it and drew more than I have in years.

But then I suddenly had some health problems pop up that made my goal impossible. I struggled to hold a pencil and even write a sentence legibly. I won't go into details here, but after a few months and going through occupational therapy, I was able to write and draw again(My other symptoms, however, haven't been resolved).

I did some drawing here and there, but nothing consistent. And it felt like some of the progress I made earlier in the year had vanished. I was utterly demotivated, and could only see the bad in everything I drew.

In December, I finally decided: screw it. If I'm going to draw badly, I'll just draw badly. And its done wonders for my confidence.

But for every drawing I'm proud of, there are far more that all I can do is laugh at because of how terrible they are.

And each time I draw something I'm not happy with, I take it as an excuse to practice more, practice often, and practice everything.

I don't really have a system or a plan in place. I start out with a warmup of stick figures based on soccer, figure skating, or something similar, and then it's whatever I feel like. Sometimes it's figure sketches, sometimes it's working on hair, sometimes it's just whatever the hell I feel like.

But above all, I'm having fun doing it. Even when it doesn't turn out like I want to, even when it's not perfect, I enjoy just putting pencil to paper with zero expectations beyond doing my best and enjoying the process.

[greenerteacups]

hey gt! So, I’ve been writing for many years- either poems, ff, or my own stories and one thing I struggle with ALWAYS is finishing…. The damn…. Story…. I know it’s kinda stupid to say that I write but never finish the work but I truly struggle with it. I find myself 1. Stuck on a scene and over editing 2. Fearing I’m forgetting parts from the previous chapters and creating plot holes 3. Questioning every decision from the story that has made me come to x point !!!!

Maybe my niche is writing one shots or something idk- I’m to anxious to have anybody beta read my stuff, too so that doesn’t help I guess. Any advice?

It's not stupid, and it's also not a bad thing! If you're a hobby writer, especially a fanfic writer, you are not actually obligated to finish anything. You're doing this for free, you're not on a deadline, and (assuming you haven't published) there is no one except you counting on this story to be finished. Don't beat yourself up for not finishing a story. I have like 30 unfinished drafts and oneshots sitting in my Google Drive. They're never gonna see the light of day. But I don't care! Because I had a really great time writing them, and when I stopped having a great time, I stopped. Neither of us are paid, man. Life is hard enough without acting like the overseer of the Fanfiction Factory is gonna come beat my ass if I don't crank out finished products.

Perfectionism is a horrible disease that kills art. It often grows out of a desire to make your art better, which is good and productive, but perfectionism chokes artists with the belief that it's better for something not to exist than for it to be bad. Because bad is embarrassing, and creating nothing is not embarrassing. Plus, nothing will ever be as good as the version of it that exists in your head, so why not keep it in your head, right? It's perfect there.

One helpful thing to do, in my experience, is to take off the expectations that it has to "Be" anything in particular. Nervous it's not gonna be Deep or Interesting or In-Character enough? Well, maybe it won't be, but you're still going to write it, because you're a writer, and it's fun, and it's interesting, and you're trying something new. You gotta trust your skills. and if you don't trust your skills, then — well, fuck, dude, you gotta write until you can trust them. You need to write things you don't like, and write tons of it — hundreds of thousands of words, I'm talking — until you get to the point where you trust yourself to write a sentence. Write until writing something bad isn't scary any more, because you know you've already done it, and you trust that the next thing you write after the Bad Thing will be better. So if you think your ending is bad, you need to write it. Writing it badly will still make you a better writer. And if you hit a problem and want to change it, then do that, and that, too, will make you a better writer. The only thing that won't make you a better writer is not writing.

Also: I would seriously try to find someone you trust and ask them to beta for you. Sharing your work is a really good way to break the cycle of perfectionism, because it proves to the animal hindbrain that someone can enjoy your work without thinking it's perfect. And it takes the pressure for noticing plot holes and editing mistakes out of your hands.

Or you can shrug, go "fuck it," and publish with the plot holes and editing errors in there anyway. And then so what? You've published something imperfect? Dude, me too. High five.

[cer-rata]

🥤 and 🍬

Oh. Oh I'm in danger.

🥤: Damn just exposing the fact that I'm terrible at actually reading fic--

Frequency by @cryptocism is one of the favorite fics I've ever read, and a weapon with which I use to whack myself whenever I realize that I need to finish the last two chapters and am just a hot mess at getting back to it I'm sorry Noah, I'm trying--

Seriously though it really sparked my interest in Thad as a character. and reminded me why I fell in love with Bart when I was younger, while also being impressively structured and executed. Very good fic, with very good art as a bonus.

🍬: *Nervous chuckling*

Tim Drake is narratively the least interesting Robin and batfamily member overall, and it is intensely frustrating that so many more fully written characters are completely ignored in order to give him narrative and fanspace that ultimately is never used for anything compelling.

This isn't a rabid hater's perspective I promise. Growing up, Tim was my favorite Robin. But he was quite literally designed to just work as Robin in a utilitarian way. Meaning he was intended to be neutral and acceptable so as to convince readers (and other creatives in the industry) that the very concept of Robin was still viable after the Jason Todd fiasco. Most of his interesting character moments are no longer canon and the interesting quirks and flaws of his character have been downplayed for years and have basically been absent entirely for the past decade. It's why no one knows what to do with him, because he hasn't been written in so long, and at his core he is a narrative meta tool.

He may be the most fanonized character I can think of, which is wildly frustrating considering that said fanon almost never takes into account how important it is that he's kind of an asshole in many of the same ways Bruce is and how tragic his warped sense of morality is. He's not always the most heroic character, which is a truly interesting character struggle. But instead fanon creates this ridiculous narrative where he's this put upon suffering sadboy wet cat insomniac(?) loser with no backbone or teeth, which invariably strips away empathy and agency from anyone he's ever paired with or compared to, and downplays the very important detail that he is the only of Batman's sidekicks who actually went out of his way to join up, and had the agency to do so. It is questionable if any of the Robins were ever in a position to truly consent to the role, but there is only one who hunted Batman down and broke into the cave to get involved. On the scale of comic book backstories and character histories, Tim isn't actually that tormented, and often where he is, he has directly contributed to it. Which is not to say bad things haven't happened to him, but they're very standardly in genre for what comics have become and not truly interesting on their own, certainly not to the extent where he deserves more thought and consideration than many of the characters he shares a cave with.

Make no mistake, I like Tim Drake and think he serves a great many uses and was in some respects a necessary character for the time in which he was created, but he's never been written past his usefulness as a Robin, hasn't been a full character in many years, is treated by both fans and modern authors alike as a bigger deal than he should be, while being made so sanitized and bland now that it's hard to find him likable.

[guiltypleasurefandomface]

Silly idea that I won't actually have time to turn itno a full story but imagine they have a ghost in the band house who tries to make them leave. Hes done the usual haunting but these are starving student artists. Yeah they wish they didn't have to replace crockery so often but cold water in the shower? No different to when they run out of money in the metre, same with the electriity and phone line. Cold room? Blankets. Hot room? Windows. The ghost can't keep the door stuck for so long so they wait him out for that too.

So the ghost gets devious. Absolutely abohrrant. This is his house and he won't give it up easily. He has a terrible trick he only uses as a last resort because it's so unpleasant for him. He passes through them to learn their secrets.

And then with all his power he writes a set of notes saying "I know one of you is homosexual" and leaves it in each of their rooms.

And he imagines all chaos will break loose. When he was a boy that was automatic alienation from all of society. Nobody had friends if they were interested in other boys. So he sits. And he waits.

And instead of watching these four young men all turn on each other* and accuse each other of heinous acts and break up the friendship and they all leave so he has his house to himself again, he watches Brian, Roger and John boost up their friendship with each of the other 3, even if Freddie's a bit of a nervous wreck over being outed. Freddie obviously knows he's the gay one and he isn't twigging how more open and gender neutral the other's conversation are going.

The Ghost even has to watch Brian give the "it's okay if you need to share anyhing with us Rog, we've been friends for years" talk with Roger.

Roger isn't so subtle. "Deacy, when you talk about Ronnie..."

John: 🤔Yeah?

Roger: ... I'm just saying, no matter what, you can bring Ronnie round. You know that, don't you?

John: ... When you stop leaving your underpants to dry on the radiator, Rog, i'll bring her around.

Roger: ... okay. They're not dirty, you know. That's why they're drying.

John: Veronica is a lovely girl and doesn't need to see your underpants even if they're clean.

Roger: Oh. Veronica.

John: What?

Roger: Hm? No nothing.

-

Roger: Listen, you know the note?

Freddie, instantly on edge: Yes?

Roger: I think I know who it is

Freddie, resigned: You do, do you?

Roger: Yeah... so when we see Brian later, I was thinking, what if- you have all those gay art student friends, don't you?

Freddie: .... yes, darling, I do, but why-?

Roger: I think we should introduce Brian to them. So he knows more gay people. When we see him later, I could say I fancy a party, what do you think and you could say oh i just have some friends I want to introduce you to and then Brian will-

Freddie: .... why on earth- You think it's Brian!?

Roger: Well yeah, obviously.

Freddie: Why the fuck obviously?

Roger: Well it's not me, and it's not Deacy, and it's obviously not you, so it has to be Brian and really i've known him for 5 years now and the closest relationship i've seen him have is with his guitar so-

Freddie: -What... what... Roger, dear, what do you mean it's obviously not me? You haven't asked me. Why couldn't it be me?

Roger: Well look at you. You're gruff and manly and don't show an ounce of interest in other men.

Freddie, internally breaking: is that so....

Roger: And of course, there's Mary

Freddie, as if he's just remembered her: MARY. Yes. Yes. Of course. We musn't forget about Mary, darling, she's the love of my life... of a sort...

Roger: Exactly. So

Freddie: Listen as fun as it sounds to have a massive party with all of my gorgeous elligible gay friends, I don't think Brian would appreciate it.

Roger: Hmmm.... he is a bit of a wallflower, isn't he?

Freddie: Terribly. Like myself, sometimes, dear. Erm. I mean.

Roger: Low key.

Freddie: Er

Roger: Alright. I'll keep thinking

Freddie: You do that Rog.

Roger: hmmm

-

Freddie, to the ceiling: Listen here you transluscent old Bastard, you have done something terrible to me just because you want your house back, but guess what, fucker, it didn't work. Those boys are tying themsleves in knots over coaxing the gay one out like a scared cat and all it's shown me is if i said something, it would be okay. You hear that? It's okay. I'm going to be okay. *calms down* Listen, darling, i'm so very sorry you're dead. I'm so sorry you're so unhappy in afterlife as you must have been whilst living but your time came and went and this isn't your house anymore. You don't live in it because you are not living. We are. The landlady is at the end of her whits with the hell you've caused, and we've been her longest tennants. You need to find peace, dear, or just a better hobby. Because you've lost. So now i'm going downstairs and i'm putting an end to this.

Ghost, ashamed of himself, flickers the lights on and off to say he's heard.

Freddie: That better be a fucking apology

Ghost flickers the light again once.

Freddie: Once for yes. Good.

-

Roger: Fred! You joining us for late night scrabble?

Freddie: Yes, why not? First though I thnk you should know something.

Brian: Hm?

Freddie: It's me.

Brian: What's you?

Freddie: Me. I'm the gay one. The homosexual

Roger does a massive double take.

Freddie: Yes Rog, even though i'm manly and gorgeously butch and massively hairy.

Roger: Oh. I did mean those in good ways.

Freddie: Yes, I know you did. Anyway, it's not Brian or John, it's me.

Brian: Well, you know that's okay with us Freddie.

Deacon: I didn't care either way I just want everyone to stop leaving their underpants around everywhere. Wait a minute

Freddie: Hm?

Deacon: Ronnie! That's what you were on about. It's short for Veronia, Rog!! I did tell you.

Roger: .... whoops.

Freddie, eyes twinkling: Say Rog, I was thinking, maybe we should have a party and invite all of my elligible gay art student friends around. What do you think becuase I'd love the idea.

Brian, to Rog: You want a massive party with Freddie gay art student friends? How many? This isn't exactly-

Roger: It's a long story, let's just play scrabble.

Freddie, nodding to the scrabble board: Who's going first?

-

The next day, the water in the shower is warm. When Freddie gets out of the shower he finds a word has been written on the mirror in the condensation.

"Sorry".

[bonzlydoo]

I dunno if you draw anymore Archie Comics stuff, but I reeeeally love your Sabrina and Jughead art of them being friends!! TToTT It's a friendship I'd love to see more of (and have done some myself lol)!

Thank you so much! I haven't drawn then in such a long time (in fact i'm only just getting back on tumblr after a multi year hiatus). I figure there's no harm in sharing some old art and concepts (even if it's a little embarrassing). I usually don't blog story concepts but I'm trying to write more lately. So, I had this whole little story way back when whereby Jughead and Sabrina go on little adventures together. how does it start? Salem wants world domination (as per usual) and haribrain schemes a means to swaps bodies with random proximity victim Jughead Jones. Sabrina is left in a panic forced to set it right because now she's stuck with a glutenous cat and 'Jughead' (Salem) is slowly taking over Riverdale school. Sometime during the course of events things get set straight, Jughead proves he's able to keep the supernatural a secret (he just doesn't care about the supernatural, very comic accurate) and the three (Salem, Sabrina and him) are sentenced by the council to indefinite community service. The trio get roped into an agency named 'E.C.L.I.P.S' (Enforcers of Council Law in Plain Sight) and are sent out on various adventures to investigating matters that bridge the supernatural and mortal, and earn good karma back. I wanted to pitch it but got nervous, and couldn't find the right writing partner at the time. I also unfortunately lost most of my art when I lost my sketchbook in a taxi that same year. This is the reminder of what loose sketches I had left after that incident.

[like-the-rest-of-la]

Temptation Tuesday

I was tagged by @destielbuddiepipeline and @rewritetheending for Temptation Tuesday 💖💖 thaaaank you!! Also, I swear Morgan, we must've shared a braincell today bc I kept thinking about an AU very loosely based on 'My Best Friend's Wedding' and the first couple of sentences basically wrote themselves 🙈 anyway... that's basically my temptation bc I actually wanted to write the cursed!Buck fic or the vet!Buck fic... yet... here we are.

Eddie knows that people who are on the brink of death sometimes have an out-of-body experience. He didn't. When he was lying there on the asphalt, bleeding out—dying—three and a half years ago, he just saw Buck. He remembers reaching for him, looking at him, and then… nothing until he woke up in a hospital room.  

But in this moment, right here, right now, he feels like he finally gets what these people are talking about. 

One second he's ribbing Chimney because of his continuous lack of solitaire skills. Out of the corner of his eye, he's keeping track of Buck ushering Hen, Bobby and Ravi in their direction, towards the table in the firehouse loft. 

The next, Buck—with his cheeks bright red and a nervous grin edged to his features—clutches the backrest of the chair on Eddie's right so hard, his knuckles are turning white. The words die on Chimney's tongue and he quirks a questioning eyebrow at Eddie. Eddie shrugs.

The rest of the team takes a seat and Buck rocks back and forth on his heels. The chair makes an unpleasant screeching noise and he stops, gulps audibly and then starts to stutter, "I-uh, I have some exciting news to share." 

And even before he gets the next sentence out, Eddie feels like he's no longer present in his own body—instead, free fall and then standstill. Disconnect.

He knows he's sitting here, he knows he's got his head turned to the side, looking up at Buck (who doesn't look back at him) and... he knows. But somehow, he's not really there. He's a sideline-spectator, watching from across the room. 

"I, umm, well, Kelsey asked me last night," a disbelieving laugh stumbles out of Buck's mouth, "and it was a bit of a surprise, but, umm, I said yes, and-I-I'm getting married. I'm getting married, guys."

And in this moment, Eddie finally feels like he gets it, because hearing Buck say, "I'm getting married", feels a lot like dying. 

I'm gonna tag @mellaithwen @princessfbi @theladyyavilee @buckactuallys @capseycartwright @renecdote @spotsandsocks and @nymika-arts if you want to and haven't already 💖💖💖

[judgedarts]

Hello! I was wondering if you were doing any cons in Europe, this year and in general?

Also, I'm a huge fan of your art, you're one of my favourite artists ever. Seeing your art on my dash fills me with so much joy you can't even imagine 🥰🌻Thank you so much for sharing it with us!

aw thanks so much! i haven't really looked into European cons because im a little nervous about traveling so far for a con, but I'll consider doing one next year! if you have any reccs for one do let me know ^^

[trash-bats]

I don't often share messy art WIP's, but this is a bit of an ambitious piece I'm nervous about & could maybe use some input from my DF followers over here.

A couple weeks ago, I started what was supposed to be a simple "Trash Bat" illustration of Davey. Instead of just putting some generic trash can or dumpster in the scene, I got the idea to cover a landfill in a bunch of easter eggs. This ranges from old & new merch, references to music videos, old gig posters and ticket stubs, and more obscure things like a page of "Unearthed: The Unused Lyrics of Davey Havok" from the Under the Rose magazines & Jade's iPod (RIP) with titles of unreleased songs on the screen.

The idea is like...yeah, this stuff will one day end up in a landfill, and maybe some of it is things the band don't relate to anymore or don't see the value in. But from the perspective of a fan lovingly filling this scene with these totems, this pile of "garbage" is more like a shrine. Many of us fans will still see the value in everything they've done, even the things they toss aside or that won't see the light of day. He's our Trash Bat, and his trash is our treasure.

I know it looks like a literal damn mess right now -- I'm going to go in with lineart and mess with the contrast more to make certain things pop and make things as detailed as I reasonably can. I originally intended the piece to be b&w, but I'm considering adding some color to help certain things in the pile be more recognizable. I'm also gonna swap out the Death of the Party shirt for the more general AFI skull shirt Davey has also worn during recent performances & do a bit more work with lighting/shadow.

I'm a very nervous artist who has often intimidated myself out of working on ambitious pieces, but this is a piece that has suddenly become important for me to get right. Words alone cannot capture how much this band means to me & for years I've wanted to do that passion justice through art, but feel like I haven't yet accomplished that. Last year was the first time I shared AFI fan art that I tagged Davey in on Insta, and getting a like from him - multiple times! - was pretty mind-blowing for me. I'm grateful for the support I received on those Havok Doll pieces, but I'm not particularly proud of them. While it was a fun concept for me, I feel like the doll idea was more successfully explored by people who can make actual real custom dolls, like Dolly Havok on Insta. I might still go back to it because I really did want to immortalize more of Davey's range of fashion over the years, but there's also so many other things I want to explore in art & with my love for AFI & related projects.

ANYWAYS, if you see this and have any recommendations for anything else that could be lovingly added to the trash pile or some constructive crit, please let me know! I want this piece to be a real love letter to the band's history, and I'm trying to represent as many eras as I can. I'm going to try taking my time with finishing this & bounce between this and other projects to try to avoid burnout (which I am QUITE prone to), but I'm excited to hopefully see this idea through & I hope others enjoy it.

[thatfreshi]

Some thoughts I want to share about the #freshiau

1. I do really love this story, despite the fact that I am in fact very busy, so I apologize that I haven't been able to give it the love I want to consistently. It makes me more and more nervous the longer I'm away from Tumblr to come back and write more. While this is one of my favorite things I've written, I'm a poetry author, a full-time art school student, freelancing and volunteering on film sets, chronically ill, and also just a person who isn't on here all the time. This isn't to like make anyone feel bad for missing my content, but it's just to explain that my absence here has nothing to do with anything about my fanbase of this app, but it's just because I'm a busy creative with a bunch of ventures. Anyways, onto the fun thoughts.

Possible spoilers ahead if you are not caught up to Part 19 of the AU!!!!!!

2. I like this fic particularly because I've been able to take these characters and put them in a situation where their fuck-ups are more forgivable. I don't think anyone in this AU is morally correct 100% of the time, and I know that can be frustrating for some people, but it's important to remember that these are barely adults in their late teens or 20s who are going through a lot of bullshit!! And that's one of my favorite parts about it, is their relationships are constantly evolving because of what they're personally going through and how they react to their friends' problems. For example, Gale and Shadowheart will not hate each other forever! We see this in part 19 as Shadow admits she is just genuinely concerned for Gale's safety and wants her friend back, but Gale throws it back in her face after finding out about her own issues. They do genuinely care for each other, but that fear of what their friend is going through, plus the stress of their own problems, is overwhelming. I really love this dynamic, and I'm excited to watch them be friends again.

3. I feel like some people may not agree with some of my interpretations of the characters, but it's important to remember that they are in an entirely different setting. These characters were originally in a very rough and tough fantasy environment, and now they're in the modern world in a college setting. Their problems are going to be spun differently, and their traits are going to portray themselves differently in a different environment. For example, despite all of Astarion's issues and trauma with Szarr, we see in this universe that he does get to have his own space: the dorm room. In the original BG3, Astarion is never given a space to himself, and therefore has much more fight or flight. Because of this ability to have his own space, he portrays himself differently inside the dorm room, because he gets to have a space that is entirely his. However, before college this wasn't necessarily the case, as we see references to the fact that he lived in his car for a couple of years prior to college. While it was still his own space and he clearly has an attached to it, the evolution of having an abode to himself makes him different in said abode (that cozy, coffee, heavy ass blankets everywhere vibe).

4. As with all my fics, the relationship between Astarion and Tav will not be perfect, but specifically because of their age. Keep in mind, Astarion in the original BG3 is like hundreds of years old, and here he's just about to turn 21. Tav and Astarion have had way less experiences than in their fantasy universe, and have had way less experiences with others. There will be times where these two are not 100% wholesome to each other, because they are two troubled individuals who are getting into a relationship early on in life. While they are well-intentioned with one another, it will get shitty at times, and that's okay! I do promise that there will be wholesome moments, but there's a long road here left to go after a couple of kisses at a Halloween party.

Anyways, I just wanted to discuss some of my thoughts on the series. I cannot currently promise a schedule or anything, but I do plan on continuing this project until otherwise stated. If anyone is curious or has questions about the series, I'd love to talk about it! Discussing my writing is my favorite part of the result. Thanks for staying interested in my stuff, and I hope you guys enjoy where the rest of it goes.

[blysse-and-blunder]

in lieu of a long weekend

10pm, sunday, oct 8, 2023

it's canadian turkey-day tomorrow ~ it's windy and grey outside ~ there is pumpkin pie in the fridge and i'm wearing an extremely pleasing wooly sweater my housemate was going to give away. we've turned the heat on for the first time this season. the cozy season of the year has arrived.

reading finished victoria goddard's whiskeyjack, book 3 in the greenwing & dart series! reading this series for me is an exercise in noticing the easter eggs that tell me it was written by a medievalist, and an academic, and a medievalist academic with a degree from the program i'm currently in. there's so much in this particular volume about poetry analysis. she came so close to using the word 'semiotic' and actually did use the phrase 'exoteric.' while i might have quibbled about things like pacing and plot and how i still don't always think first-person is a good fit in the hands of most authors, these books are like tailor-made for me. i can't not enjoy them.

and then on the other hand, i spent some extremely happy hours this past week with patrick o'brian's post captain. when i first read the aubrey books, i was probably in high school, fresh out of racing through the hornblower series. because the aubreyad is-- i'll be honest-- better writing, but also demands more of you as a reader, i fully didn't appreciate like 80% of this book. i knew the series, as much by osmosis as by actual time spent reading, and reading it now? felt like coming home. especially since i now have the attention, and the ability, to read between the lines. to pick up on the irony, the allusions, the humor, the misdirection! the women oh my god how did i not appreciate sophie, diana, or mrs. williams before now. i didn't mind before how little of the larger world and society made it into the movie, but i actually understand the griping now. but even more than that, i found the ship action and actual, like, battle extremely tense and interesting this time; i was up well into the night at one point just to see what would happen next, because i was nervous for my dear boys.

watching friday night double-feature with @hematiterings where we enjoyed the first three new episodes of Our Flag Means Death and finished with another two of netflix's Arcane: League of Legends, which we're probably going to finish fairly soon so i'll focus on that one. just quickly though, had a great time with the first new ofmd episode, just extremely good work from all involved, and then was weirdly not as into the second two-- though the end of ep 3 was back to grand. i think in general i like where the season is going, and i'm going to withhold further comment until we've seen some more.

i was not expecting to like arcane as much as i have been. didn't have a clue what it was when we started, but the art style has absolutely blown me away. here's a quick run-down of the animation, which is a mix of hand-painted digital, 2D, and absolutely gorgeous. it looks like a video game and a painting at the same time-- not in the same way spiderverse combines animation and illustration, but with some familiar elements. people's eyes have this amazing jewel-like depth and clarity? scenery that made us go 'oh, paris looks so nice!' and 'man i love cyberpunk' and other such witticisms. but seriously, if you like good animation and also art nouveau-inspired steam-punk aesthetics, there's a lot here. plus a good (dare I? could league of legends be good, actually?) tragic story-line, and enough twists that i haven't seen coming, to really get me curious about what comes next.

listening a long time ago, probably back in 2021 around the time of the most recent album, i think @mankillercalledbunny was sharing playlists or links that featured The Amazing Devil, and at roughly the same time i had a spotify playlist include a track or two for me, and now here we are. had their two albums "ruin" and "the horror and the wild" on all week, which made it a bit hard to read at times because i would get caught in the lyrics. this is exactly the kind of music two people who met at the RSC would make, it is dramatic, sort of gothic, sort of folky, sort of theater. the contrary motion, the interweaving voices, esp. in the chorus of "marbles", is where i've been living recently. i like knowing this about joey batey, i like that he has this extra dimension now when i see him as jaskier! i hope he can find a way to come back to it again, whenever.

playing i finally (after how long!) got the wizard's ink well - witch's pendant - goblins (??) quest in stardew! not a hard one at all, but so satisfying to be able to use that hint that had been hovering there in the library for the past, oh, real-world year or so. i'm like 50 pieces of hardwood away from getting the ferry up and running too, and i'm excited to move off of the plateau i've been on and open up the next level of the world.

making i mentioned the pumpkin pie up top, and it did turn out well this year despite a distracted me happening to leave out the butter when mixing the filling-- i noticed before it got into the oven, luckily, and was able to add it in! but...while it was in the pie crust, which was kind of sloppy. no nicely pinched or braided crust for me this year. and then, since the size of can of pumpkin you buy here is always a little too big for the recipe, i tried out the smitten kitchen pumpkin bread that many friends have recommended before, and that has been a delight. moist without being dense or heavy, but still very substantial? a little bit less sugar than the recipe called for, and no freshly ground nutmeg, but we did have fresh ginger and overall it is very nice. it also rose architecturally, which was maybe a function of it being on a higher rack? or of me miss-counting scoops of baking soda? anyway, hilarious.

working on working on consistency. working on momentum. working on not getting in my own way. draft of this conference paper due 10/26, slides and notes for this guest lecture due 10/25, and the chapter abides. the conference paper serves it directly, however, which i feel good about. i keep finding new things to read about, and keep being glad i've continued researching, since i'm coming up with excellent (it feels) material to work with, but i can't let that get in the way of actually. writing.

[hollownoire]

Instead of ghosting people when I get nervous I really could just be forward with them. I really don't know why I feel like I can't just be honest. Yeah, I really just want to be comforted and spoken to. I can admit I'm a fragile person without fearing people will never interact simply because sometimes I just need a little affirming, which is just what you would already do with a friend. I've really built up this idea of like...proper...friendship, using experiences that were not so, and I'm only now really realizing that. Maybe I just need more friends. Maybe I don't talk to people enough, of course I get stupid anxious speaking with people, I don't have the practice. I haven't gotten used to the idea of normality, of not needing to conform to make someone like me, what I thought was an ideal was just...normal. The answer always doubles back to needing an olive branch from others, but the question is how do I ask? I want to say the answer is obvious, just ask, cause it is that simple, but just because it's simple doesn't mean it's easy. I want to be reminded to take care of myself more often. Just...cared for generally. I want to know someone wants to be my friend, even if it's some amount of effort. To know I'm in someone's thoughts, in absence of my presence, and to make those thoughts real and lived by reaching out to me and showing me I can be close to people again. That it doesn't need to be scary. That I'm not above having a group of friends that knows me, truly knows me, issues and all, and still loves me for it. I want my weirdness to be a part of my value, a part of my worth, as my life, as my daily, and finally feel safe in a space with people I don't have to worry about misinterpreting my distance for something else. To be close enough to someone that they know I just need a bit of love and kindness. Attention. That I'd talk with anyone for hours if they reached out to me, that I'd answer every and any question asked of me because I want to be known and heard. I've made an unapproachable monster of an image of myself in my head, one bereft of my gender, of my needs or wants or boundaries, and the only real way to show myself I'm not what I think I am is through repetition and living as the person I am and not who I fear myself to be. Skulking alone, reinforcing this idea of unapproachability and inability to bond with others or make lasting connections just makes a feedback loop of...garbage! No wonder I'm only really now feeling like a girl 5 years into my transition, I don't talk to people enough to hear my pronouns be used often. Hear my name. Just be treated like a sweet girl, I don't know. Really want my needs being met to be normal, and be something that people want to do because I matter to them. When people make note of something, and go out of their way to remember it, I notice. I also notice when people say they'll do something for me and they don't. Imagine my surprise when someone both notices me and casually gives me something I desperately need. A small, innocent, everyday suggestion. A stranger tells me to keep making art, saying please, even. "Please keep going." Mutuals who interacts with me, talk to me, and cares enough to...show me they care. That they know I'm an actual person. People who want to see what I'll do, what I'll make. What I have made. What I've shared. The clean, the messy, the embarassingly authentic, cringey... I don't know. I originally had a point to all of this, some neat way to tie my thoughts up into a bow to be presentable to people on this blog or to my mutuals, but I'm starting to believe I don't really need to do that, do I? It might be presumptuous, but I feel like I know a few people, maybe more, who've actually cared enough to read through my sloppy, nonsensical rambling, that will have read all of this, somehow. You didn't have to, but you did. You did, and...it means a lot. A lot, a lot. I'm a stranger to kindness, but...uh...you're...making it more familiar, I suppose. My dms are open, everyone. I always need more friends, if you wanna talk.