#I'm probably overthinking this WAY too much lol. Sorry it's been a stressful day

[stinkyme]

Helloooo Stinky, how are you??

Hopefully you enjoyed your weekend and relaxed a bit! ❤️

I just discovered that after work, people can just disconnect!? Like they don't think about everything that happened and what else shit needs to be done. LIKE HOW CAN THEY PLS, I WANNA KNOW 😭😭

(lol, I know I'm an overthinking mess but I didn't realise that it's THAT BAD).

However I felt like shit these days and my only thoughts were about work and overstressing about a lot of issues, so I'm back at my need for fluff and comfort from the one and only Chuuya (where's this man when you need him, istg he's the only one I need)

I'm really snappy because I'm stressed out and I can't sleep properly or I wake up having nightmares about work. Imagine just telling this mf that I wake up at 6 am because I remember smthg that needs to be done at work. He'd get angry, not at me but at the job. He would have beef with all the managers I have at work. I think that at first he'd be annoyed but seeing it impacts a lot of his s/o life, and seeing her spiraling all over again he'd get concerned. Like really concerned.

"Doll, that's really not good for you, you can't keep going on like that"

He'd try he's best to understand why she can't unwind (good luck boy neither me nor my therapist can understand why I can't unplug after work).

Then he'd just start doing all sorts of things to get her out of the house and change environments. He'd keep reminding me "love, it's just a job, you can change it whenever you want". He'd give a lot of hugs and would stress a lot if sent out on a mission for more than one day and have to leave her alone.

(he's burning the place down for sure)

I'll probably spam you in the next few days with scenarios or ideas about this which come to my mind so I'm sorry in advance.

no need to apologize, feel free to send me anything! :D

I hope your weekend was good as well and that you were able to relax a little bit from everything that has been going on :) <3

I realized my reply will be long, so I will put read more LOL

LOLOL, as for work yeah, I used to be like that too, waking up and sweating myself over stuff, literally my mind was flooded with work 24/7 and constant anxiety as to what will happen. The thing is once you start working in more stable environment it's a bit easier to chill afterwards. Stuff will still happen, but it won't affect you as much because it won't be pure peer pressure on you only. So, I hope you will be able to find a place like that and slowly learn to disconnect and unwind. Job is job, it's something that ends once your shift is done, period. No need to let it exhaust you when you are not there, you deserve to have a chill time afterwards. Finding ways to unwind and relax, get out of your head is very important. Through walking, cooking, art - whatever you are able to do :) You can't unplug most likely because of a control issue. There is a belief that the more you think about it - the more in control you are, which you are not. Just let those thoughts pass like little leafs in the water and keep reminding yourself that you do not need control over work while at home :)

that's very true about chuuya!! he would also help you to find healthier ways to let out all the stress and anxiety after work and remind you how important rest is. Because if you are "resting" but worrying the whole time - it's not really rest at all. So, he would find some ways...maybe book you a spa day or make one at home, give you a nice massage, keep you occupied with movies or cooking or something like that! Before bed, he would make sure he cuddles you and gently takes care of you so you fall asleep first and he would deeefinitely have beef with your work place, probably giving them bad reviews while you are asleep and cussing them out in the comments LMAOO

[akiyamaasagi]

꧁~𝐼 𝓌𝒶𝓃𝓉 𝓉𝑜 𝒷𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒𝓇~꧂

Hey heyyy! I've asked u all which two you would like next, and I received lotsa requests (and with lotsa I mean 3 lol) to do Xiao and Kazuha. And don't worry, I will upload Albedo and someone else x reader so win-win :D I'm sorry I've posted later than usual, I've been entering school and had to deal with some personal issues, bc of that I'll upload at the same slow speed depending on how long it'll be. I hope you can understand :3

Synopsis: He tried to avoid you recently because of his feelings for you, and you felt insecure about it... he decided to say the truth for once and for all

Includes: Xiao and Kazuha (as told, any other character, anime, series, game etc. tell me, and I'll do it :D)

Warnings: also madd Xiao slight spoilers in background story, and SHIRTLESS KAZUHA HOLY JESUS- (not nsfw tho, you'll see later owo) and blood mentions

Xiao~

I would always stroll around Liyue and see Xiao at the corner of my eye, he would stare at me for a while, frown, and walk away. When I would walk to him and ask him what was wrong, he would get mad at me and just said, "Nothing is wrong. But do leave me alone if you can," my stomach would get swirled and my heart would stop beating... I'm afraid I did something wrong, and now he hates me about it...

I walked disappointed to nowhere when I only sat on Wangshu inn defeated in my thoughts when the innkeeper, Goldet saw me and questioned, "Y/N, is something wrong? You seem a bit tense..." I lifted my head and hide it again with my arm, "Well, you might know about it... do you know why Xiao hates me...?" she stopped what she was doing and patted my head and smiled, "Don't worry dear, he doesn't hate you, but I did saw him tired and stressed these days... he probably is mad because he needs some rest~" my head was overthinking too much I denied every excuse, "Then why does he get mad only at me and leaves wherever I go... I know I did something to make him mad, but I don't know why..."

All of a sudden, Xiao came and rested his head with his arm, he didn't even see me or said anything "Good evening Xiao, you look a bit tired... do you want a glass of water?" Goldet said as she pulled a glass, I was too timid to say anything, so I stayed shut, "As always, Goldet" Xiao only drank from the glass and just lied back shutting his eyes to rest. Goldet saw my worried look, thinking he hated me THAT bad, she picked up the glass and asked, "Xiao, do you know about the upcoming lantern festival of tonight?" Xiao opened one of his eyes and answered calmly, "Yes, I do. Why the sudden question?"

I started to worry because I told Goldet I wanted to go when they announced it, but it was supposed to be for couples, so I just told her I'd wished to go with someone. "Well... Y/N wanted to go, but she didn't have a partner, you two should go together!" I shook myself and flung my arms all across the room, "No! There's no need! You are too kind, but there's no need to-" Xiao stood up and replied with a soft tone "No worries, Y/N, I can accompany you. I've had no plans for tonight anyway." I stopped babbling and blushed as he said that... I thought he was mad at me for something, probably I was overthinking after all.

Goldet smiled at me and whispered very lightly, "You can do it, Y/N~" as Xiao took my hand, and we walked to the location "Y/N, do remember to stay with me, we don't know if something dangerous might happen" My face reddened looking at me worried I'd get in danger. We arrived to Liyue to save some special spots and the receptionist said "Please enjoy the festival! You two look like a really cute couple"

I knew if I'd admitted the truth I want him that way, Xiao would be more disgusted with me and stay away from me even more, "Oh! No ma'am! You got it all wrong! We are not exactly a couple-" Xiao rested his chin with his finger and whispered "A couple, huh... sounds new to me" I looked shocked at him, wondering what he meant with that "Uhh... Xiao, everything is alright?" I asked in fear as he only shook his head and said, "Forget it, let's keep going" He walked as he gripped my hand tighter and the lady behind us smirked knowing the situation.

We sat and waited for the lanterns to lit up. Xiao only sat and lowered his head, shutting his eyes. We stayed quiet for too long, I decided to break the silence, "Hey... Xiao... why did you agree to come with me? Did you felt forced to?" He looked at me and responded calmly, "Well, I don't necessarily would say forced to, but I would be worried if something happened to you. That's all" My curiosity was biting me and I wanted to know why was he acting with me, "Then... why... why were you angry with me?" Xiao looked at me surprised, "W-what do you mean?!"

I was afraid to tell the truth, but my gut kept acting without me realizing what was I doing, "You've been acting mad at me... I thought I did something wrong, and I don't know why... I don't want you to hate me..." I quickly started crying thinking he'd told me something to keep me quiet, but he only hugged me, placing my head on his chest and only whispered "Why would you cry for someone like me. I told you since we met, don't get sentimental over me."

I only teared up even more and said "You are a Yaksha, you've suffered for millennia, and I'm just a mere mortal to you, I can't do anything to take your suffering away, anything that happens to you, you only toss any thought, any injure you get you only wait for it to heal! I never cared if you knew I'd get sentimental for you! I wouldn't want to make your life more complicated for anything I've done!" We stayed quiet for another moment until he only patted my head and whispered, "I care even less of what I've suffered after... after I've met you..." My mouth dropped as I looked up at him in awe. He looked at me with his brow furrowed, but calm, "I gathered feelings for you, I don’t even want to think about what life would be like without you. I keep falling in love with you over and over again. The reason I was 'mad' at you was because I wanted to neglect these human feelings, but I can't anymore I'm sorry I... I-"

He only pulled my chin with his delicate fingers to meet my lips with his. My mind and heart felt at ease, feeling that delicacy and softness, Xiao closed his eyes and pulled me even closer to him, as if any millimeter wasn't enough. I saw he was getting sloppier and breathing harder with each second, he decided to pull off. He covered his mouth with his hand as he looked away and blushed, "This... kind of feeling... is new to me~" I softly smiled and kissed his cheek "Well, you could have told me earlier... I feel the same about you" he only hugged me as we saw lanterns getting lit one by one and let the night absorb our time together~

Kazuha~

I have been worried I haven't seen Kazuha for a while, at first I started thinking he was just busy with the crux, but every day with him missing is starting to worry me. I was walking through Liyue when I saw Kazuha looking through the streets as well, when he saw me, he smiled warmly and approached me as I was starting to look at him with more surprise, looking it was the true Kazuha.

"Hello there Y/N! It has been a while~" I looked in extreme surprise and responded, "Uhh, yeah! It's been a while. I thought something happened with the crux...?" He placed his hands on my shoulders, reassuring with his warm smile, "No worries, everything is all right with the crux. I was just looking for you" I was amazed he was searching for me, I mean, I'm not the most interesting to keep around, "Uhh, me? Why? Something happened?" He calmly answered back, "Well, I know we missed a lot of opportunities to hang up like we used to, I want to make up that lost time and enjoy an evening us both. I know I might have worried you, didn't I?"

Like he read my mind, I've been worried tons, and I do want to make up that lost time we've had, "Of course! I've been wanting to hang out like we used to" It hasn't been too much time we lost contact, but it's still nice to see him again, "Perfect, then let me guide you. I found some new spots I'd like you to see," he softly took my hand, and slowly left the city as we talked like we used to.

I found myself in an autumn like forest, filled with soft colors and leaves flying in the wind, I was amazed at the beautiful scenery. Kazuha only smiled at my back as he saw me, "Like it? I found it and thought you might like it, so I imagined it was the best opportunity to show you" I looked back at Kazuha and replied "Yes! It's really beautiful! I didn't know this place existed." we walked through the forest as night was approaching, we saw the sunset together and even if hours passed, we didn't mind a bit.

"Hey, Y/N, are you cold?" He hugged me from behind, rubbing his hands against my arms to warm myself. When all of a sudden, he stopped walking and looked behind "Uhh, Kazuha, is something wrong? You look a bit stressed" Kazuha looked back at me and goes "Don't worry Y/N, just keep walking" I was worried something came up, but I still walked as he kept looking around with a serious look. "Y/N, watch out!!" He covered my head from a projectile that blew up near me.

"Well, well, Kazuha, you and the crux owes a revenge didn't you?" Some treasure hoarders came out as they surrounded us, "So it was your men in the end. Does it need to be right now?" Kazuha released me and cocked his head sideways, "Don't make yourself look easy, you overcame more of us than you think. We know you don't mind getting yourself hurt, but what about your loved ones?" The leader threatened Kazuha as he got angry and gripped his sword, "Is that so...?!"

He unsealed his sword and looked back at me, "Y/N, run away and don't let them catch you! I'll come for you in a minute!" I shook my head as I quickly grabbed my weapon, "Don't worry! I can also fight" The treasure hoarders already started grabbing their weapons, aiming for us"No, Y/N, escape now. They are not the normal enemies!" I didn't insist and ran as quick as I could. All I could see from afar was Kazuha lilting his sword everywhere until they backed off.

By the moment I came back to see him, he was already resting his head on a tree, the pale moonlight revealing his bloodied face. I quickly rushed to see him, "Y/N! Were you hurt?! Are you alright?!"I got really mad. How can this man think about me when he was the one beat up? I grabbed his face to clean up the blood and he lightly whispered "Don't worry I'm fine, just some scratches" I realized his body was full of stains and cuts "These aren't just scratches! I need to get you medical attention quick!" His quickened breath was tiring him more and answered, "No, there's no need. I'm just tired, would you mind if I'd only rest at your place?" I gave up on convincing for a while, I only helped him walk to my home."

I helped him sit on the sofa and searched for my aid gear "At least let me help to patch you up. I'll only worry more if I don't..." He only smiled knowing how stubborn I was "If you really want to, then I guess I have no choice, but please be gentle~" I was astonished he said yes I got slightly nervous "Take off your clothes first... I'll delay awhile cleaning your cuts..." The young man did as said and took off his clothes slowly while I dipped the cotton in the rubbing alcohol.

I slowly began to stroke his firm muscles as gentle as I could and Kazuha flinched a bit "Ouch... miss Y/N, a little gentler, please?" I was too nerve-racking to respond and went even gentler as he asked, knowing how angry I was and focused I was he only felt guilt he made me feel like this. After I was done patching him up, I looked away and pouted in disappointment, "Y/N, don't be mad... I know I worried you, but it was for your own good..."

I stayed quiet for a while until he sighed and grabbed my wrist to pull me into him "I'm sorry Y/N, I really am. But I was worried you'd get hurt, even if you can fight I wouldn't want to harm you for something that happened to me" I only positioned myself on his tensed muscles and complained "You could've died... aren't you afraid to lose your life...?" He only pet my head and continued, "As long as it's for you, I don't mind" His simple words made me look at him in shock

"Y/N, I've loved you for a long time now, You look like an angel straight from heaven; I am so lucky to have you in my life. I wouldn't forgive myself seeing you hurt, I only want you to be..." he struggled to find the correct words, so he pulled me for a kiss, he kissed my nose, my cheeks, and my lips. There were no words to explain such feeling, he was gentle as the wind, as soft as his words and kind. "Y/N, I want... I want to be the one you love~"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I think it's fair since Kazuha doesn't have much fan service of such lol... But I hope you enjoyed this story as well! Remember, send me any request of genshin or any other fandom, and I'll make the most of it nwn again, I am sorry if it felt longer than usual... now I'm returning to school, so I'll do my best to write quickly! Love you <3 and stay hydrated it's 5 am now so sleepy time u.u zzz

[xpeachesncream]

restart | four

[ SEQUEL TO PERFECTLY WRONG ] | [ series masterlist ]

summary: as you and taehyung start to build your life together post graduation, things become more complicated than what you expected it to be. while taehyung struggles with his inner demons, you’ve become the sole supporter, the pillar, juggling different jobs to keep you two afloat. your love for each other has been put to the test as your relationship continues to face hurdles - hurdles that have you questioning whether or not your relationship will make it through.

pairing: reader x fiancé!kth

genre: post grad au, established relationship au | fluff, angst, smut

words: 4.8k

warnings: cussing/mature language, jealousy, lots of insecurities and overthinking, angst, crying, bar scene, alcohol consumption, flashback scene in the middle of the chapter, a lil sprinkle of fluff, implied sexual content, bickering/arguments

note: honestly, this was ALSO not supposed to get this long but like… 🙃 here we are lol

tags: @enchantaeduniverse​ @thedarkwinterrose​ @sapphirejeon​ @jwlmnbt​ @bluesharksandfish​ @ra-mun-e @brightcolorsoffendme​ @jungcrookthecookbook​ @sunniejinnie​ (please message me if you would like to be added to the taglist!)

"Okay, I think that's it." You said, hands on your hips as you and Jungkook walked through your door for the final time.

"What are you selling, the world?" He huffs and puffs.

"For someone who works out often, you complain a lot." He rolls his eyes playfully.

"Where's Tae?"

"Sleeping still." He nods.

"Oh, okay. Ready to go then?" You nodded silently as you grabbed your bag to hitch a ride to the café with Jungkook since he was working today. He starts to talk about the girl who works with you two and how he thinks she's a little cutiepie. He has such a silly crush on her that his cheeks are lightly rose tinted every time he talks about certain encounters they've had. You're happy to see him happy, and you tell him to keep pursuing it since she's a super sweet girl. However, part of you is sad solely because you couldn't say you were 100% happy at this moment. You wish you were, but these problems were hindering you from feeling complete. You just wanted to get past this page in the book.

As soon as you both get to the cafe, you start unloading his trunk and getting everything inside. Jungkook claims he has the last two bags covered, so you walk to the back and take breather just to gather yourself before setting up. But you truly didn't expect to lose it right then and there.

"Okay! I got all the— Y/N?" Jungkook instantly worries when he sees you crying into your hands in the backroom and hurries over to you. "Hey, woah. What's going on?" He gets in front of you, gently trying to pry your hands off of your face.

"Fuck, I'm sorry." You continue to cry as he successfully removes your hands from your face.

"Sorry for what? What's going on?" He wipes your tears with his sweater and lifts your chin to look at you in the eye.

"Nothing."

"The day barely started and you're already crying in the backroom." He says softly. "Don't try and lie to me."

"I just don't know what's going on between me and Tae and it's stressing me out."

"What's going on? Same stuff?" You nod, tears still streaming down your cheeks. You tell him about how he had been super weird about taking Jimin's help and how you both got into a huge argument about it. Then, you told him how last night ended [sparing your poor bestfriend the details] and how you couldn't help but feel used because he simply dismissed you, which is very unlike Taehyung when it comes to arguments and disagreements. "I'm sorry, Y/N. I know he's going through a rough time, but Tae also needs to respect you and look at you as his partner, not someone who's also attacking him or against him. Do you want me to talk to him?"

"No." Simply, no. Because you never get your friends involved like that. You just don't, no matter how much they wanna help. "He looks at me like I am, especially after this whole Jimin thing. I don't wanna say it's stupid because I don't wanna discredit his feelings, but god. Like, should I just do this on my own? Tell Jimin to forget it?"

"No." Jungkook shakes his head. "You're already getting a good start on your goals, Y/N. Don't let that go because of everything going on. Give him some time and space."

"I have been. For awhile now." You sat, feeling completely defeated already, tears still coming down your cheeks.

"Here, I'll go set up and I can take over the table for a bit. I'll ask Isabella if she can cover for a quick second." He stands in front of you, hands out to help support you as if you had lost your footing.

"No, I'll be fine—"

"Y/N, just sit. Okay?" He gives off a small sigh. "Just sit for a second and let yourself take a breather." He gently sits you down and makes sure you don't get up by slowly backing away from you.

"Kook, this isn't Marco Polo."

"I'm just trying to make sure you don't run off because you're stubborn!"

"Hey!" Isabella comes running in, a little confused as to what's happening.

"Hey, can you cover me at the front for a bit?" Jungkook stands back upright in a normal position to ask her sweetly, hands tucked behind his back as he bounced on his feet. This boy.

"Yeah, of course Jungkook." She blushes.

"Thanks. I'll be right back." He gives you a quick look before dashing off. You lay your head onto your arms as they rest on the table, a small headache forming at the center of your forehead.

"You okay, Y/N?" Isabella asks softly as she puts her things away.

"Yeah, sorry. Just a really weird day yesterday."

"I'm sorry." You feel her hand caress your back. "Let me know if you need anything, okay?" She says before shuffling herself out of the room. To be honest, you had no idea what was going on with you, and why you were feeling this way. You were just so sick and tired. Sick and tired of being sick and tired.

This was slowly taking a toll on you, and you weren't even sure if Taehyung realized what he was doing was hurting you in the process.

He can't say he does.

Tae set the weights down back onto the rack aggressively before sitting on the bench, watching Jimin finish his set. They had been working out after lunch, Jimin calling him shortly after Taehyung had fully woken up.

"Are you gonna go to the café after this?" Tae shrugged.

"I don't know, Y/N said she didn't need help and wouldn't be there all day."

"You won't even visit for a bit?" Jimin asks. Usually Tae was rushing to get back to you, but he knew everything that had been going on had been affecting your relationship to an extent.

"We'll see."

"You two coming to the bars tonight then?"

"What are we celebrating again?"

"Nothing. Just getting together like old times. I told Kook, Hobi and Yoongi. They're down." Tae nodded.

"Joon, too?"

"Joon, too."

"Me and Y/N will probably go but I don't think we'll stay long. She has to do that thing at the school—" He scratched his head. "The thing— the exhibit and talking to incoming art students or whatever." Jimin chuckled at how Tae couldn't get his words out.

"It's not whatever."

"You know that's not what I mean." Tae rolled his eyes at him, annoyed all over again at how Jimin had been kissing your ass lately. Cause fuck, the way Jimin had been painting himself as a knight in shining armor, an angel even, was pissing him the fuck off. It made him feel like he wasn't doing enough to support you, or like you couldn't turn to him for help. He hated that feeling, even though he had been rude as hell and showing it in a different way.

"That's fine. Just come out and hang out for a bit." Jimin sighed as he sat on the bench next to him, drinking some water before placing the bottle back down on the ground. "You two doing okay?"

"Yeah, what makes you think we aren't?" Tae asks, getting defensive. Jimin quickly eyes him, reading his body language. He knew Taehyung so well - so fucking well that he knew almost immediately when things were taking a toll on him. Things liiiike.. his parents. As a prime example. Jimin knew Taehyung and his parents obviously didn't have the best relationship, and he knew he took things to heart whenever his father got on him about stupid shit [just like he did over that dinner]. Taehyung wasn't one to show emotion much; he liked showing people he was mentally tough and that he could handle whatever came his way. For the most part, it was true. But, Jimin and Namjoon also knew he wasn't always like that, especially when it came to things that mattered the most to him - his family and you. Taehyung hated to admit it but his family's opinion of him was important no matter what. He was hard on himself because he wanted them to be proud. He wanted to actually feel like he had been doing something good for once. He was still longing for that feeling no matter what he said or did. It was a never-ending battle; like a plot with no happy ending in sight.

"I'm just asking." Jimin threw up his hands, showing that he wasn't suggesting anything behind the harmless question.

"We're fine. I know she's been stressed lately because of work and her art."

"Mmm."

"It's funny." Taehyung chuckles at himself.

"What's funny?" Jimin laughed a bit, confused.

"I didn't expect to be caught up in her like this. After Hana, messing around with all these girls. She's my fucking fiancé."

"Yeah and you better not fuck that up." Jimin stands to gather his things.

"You sound like my dad." Tae jokes, even though he was pretty offended.

"I'm sorry, didn't mean to." Jimin instantly apologizes, knowing everyone had been walking on eggshells around Taehyung lately. "She's a good girl, you've got it good."

Taehyung softly smiles at the thought of you, but he wasn't gonna lie, he was hurt by Jimin's statement. Call him sensitive or whatever, but he wasn't feeling the fact that people were constantly looking at him as a fuck up and hinting at it. It seemed to be a reoccurring theme lately. "You ready?" Tae sighs before grabbing his stuff. They get into his car, departing from the gym to make their way to Jimin's so he can get dropped off before Tae heads home. Taehyung replays yesterday's events in his head, which instantly irks him all over again. But, he has such a soft spot for you that he feels terrible for having been too harsh about it. He was still upset, and he wasn't gonna let up on his feelings. But he knew he should have been better about how he approached it. He knew better than that. He's learned to do better.

➤ FLASHBACK

Taehyung excitedly parks his car at the café to surprise you for your pop up today. He had been working endlessly to finish off finals strongly, and he had been so busy that he hadn't really gotten a chance to help you or support you. He felt terrible about it because you were his babygirl and he wanted nothing but to spoil you for all the hardwork you've been putting in.

He creeps up behind you, bouquet of flowers hidden behind his back. "Excuse me, miss." He says lowly near your ear.

"Holy fuck!" You say as he startles you. "Babe, what the hell! Don't do that!" He laughs.

"What's cookin', goodlookin'?" He wiggles his eyebrows, making you chuckle. "These are for you." He smiles toothlessly as he hands you the pretty bouquet. "And your favorite!" He hands you a Mcflurry cup.

You squeal. "Oreo Mcflurry! Aw, thank you baby." You place a quick kiss on his lips. "But don't ever scare me like that!" You playfully hit his chest, causing him to erupt in laughter.

"You should've seen your face."

"Ha-ha, very funny." You rolled your eyes, causing him to pinch your cheeks.

"How's it going?"

"Welp, I'm almost out for the day." You giggle. "I, uh, may have underestimated." You look down at his hoodie, realizing it was one of the hoodies you had made for a previous collection you sold at Jin's. "Waaaow, cute sweater, who made it?"

"Mm, I don't know if you know her. Her name's Y/N."

"Uh huh?" You nod, hand on your hip, waiting to hear more.

"She stands about this tall." He lowers himself close to the ground, causing you to laugh. "Cute, right? She's beautiful, incredibly smart and sexy. Brilliant visual designer and illustrator. Packed with hella attitude." He pretends to ponder on his thoughts. "I could go on about her, really. She's one of a kind."

"Cute. She must feel lucky." You smile.

"I know, I'd feel lucky if I knew me too." You roll your eyes and playfully hit him. "Ah, I'm kidding." He pulls you into a hug. "I keep this sweater in my trunk."

"Oh, so you keep it in your trunk just for emergency wear?" You sarcastically ask as he holds you from behind.

"Yeah, and cause it's the only sweater I'd choose to wear out of the hundreds I own." You smile up at him. "Mhm, not gonna try and win that one." He places a big, sloppy kiss on your cheek before pulling away. "Show me. How can I help my pretty baby today?"

➤ END FLASHBACK

"Hey, I can't stay out late tonight because of the event tomorrow."

"Yeah, I know." Taehyung says softly.

"Please don't drink too much."

"I wooooooon't." He whines with a small sigh, also slightly offended at that statement. He didn't know what it was, maybe it was the fact that his own father painted him in such a negative light that everything seemed off to him lately. Like people were just out to get him or constantly looking down at him and his actions. A personal attack at who he was. It was slowly piling up for him and he wasn't sure how much more of it he could take.

You prepared a quick dinner while he hopped in the shower. You set his plate aside before taking a look at the mail that had come in today.

Bills, bills and more bills.

You sighed to yourself as it felt like you had just paid things off, but clearly not. Moving into Taehyung's wasn't the greatest idea, being that his space was much more expensive than yours. But, he did have the space you needed for your work. There was money left, but you knew it wouldn't last forever. You hated tapping into your savings and whipping out your credit cards because you wanted to keep yourself clean as much as possible. However, that was proven difficult as of late. It was a sacrifice, especially since Taehyung had cut off his mother's help. Taehyung's pride was such a curse sometimes.

You shook your head, already finalizing the fact that you would deal with it later. You had began to set your things aside for the new student event tomorrow morning. You figured you'd get there early to set up and make your table at neat and cute, so you didnt have to worry much about it right now.

Taehyung comes out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist, hair slicked back and wet. You turn to face him, your eyes wandering down to his chest and bottom area. God, why was he so beautiful? It wasn't fair. You loved him so much that you could crumble even being upset. He talks a whole lot about you being the death of him, when really, this man is going to be the death of you. Truly. There's no debate about it.

Getting to the bar, you both immediately spot your friends in the corner, a huge tower of beer decorating the center of the table. Jimin is the first to stand, coming towards you two with a huge smile on his face.

"Friends!" Jimin yells. "Drink!" He says, holding up two shot glasses.

"Fuck, man." Taehyung says taking the glass. "We just got here."

"So! Y/N needs to be home early remember?" He watches wide-eyed as you two take the shot and make sour faces at each other.

"Okay, I'm good." You say, being that you were the DD tonight. Taehyung could enjoy himself if he wanted to [to an extent], but you definitely needed to be in tip top shape to be a good role model to those incoming art students tomorrow.

Throughout the night, the bar starts to get packed from end to end, you and your friends staying at the table and keeping to yourselves. You could tell Taehyung was crossing the line of pretty fucking drunk, which somewhat bothered you. You literally just told him to take it easy tonight - just for one night - so you could do what you need to do tomorrow.

"Hey." Jimin comes next to you, swinging his arm over your shoulder like he always does. "One more shot?" You give him a toothless smile. Ugh, why the hell not? Your man was drunk, and Jimin had only been helpful lately. You could at least return the favor by taking a shot with him.

"What are we drinking to?"

"You." He smiles. "Your shop. Your art. It'll only go up from here, yeah?" He rose his shot glass up before clinking it against yours and taking it to the neck.

"Mkay, that does it for me." You chuckle. "Thanks for the shot."

"No problem. You doing okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good." You looked at your watch. "Should probably get out of here soon, but Tae looks like he's enjoying himself. I don't wanna drag him out of here."

"We can just bring him home." You shake your head worriedly.

"I don't wanna leave without him." Jimin chuckles and looks over at Taehyung.

"He'll be okay and you'll be just fine tomorrow. Besides, you can make up all the bullshit in the world to tell the incoming students, they'll believe it either way."

"That's mean." You chuckle.

"Come. Let's dance!" Jimin says, leading the way to the empty space near the table. Everyone gets up to dance, Taehyung slipping himself behind you, whispering sweet nothings in your ear.

"Can I at least get one minute with my lady without Jimin interrupting?" He says in your ear.

"Taehyung." You flatly say, looking back at him.

"That's your mad face." He holds you tightly from behind as he sways you from side to side.

"I'm not mad."

"Mhm." He kisses the back of your head. "Why don't you have fun with me for a little? We'll go home after this." You couldn't even stay mad at him, with that fucking frustratingly handsome face of his. He was definitely drunk though, you could smell the whiskey lingering on his breath as he danced with you for a bit. You let him be, just so you wouldn't trigger anything within drunk Taehyung. Everyone around you was having a good time, the feeling of nostalgia hitting you pretty hard. You missed the days where you could get together and go to parties after a long week of school. Or, when you would tease the fuck out of Taehyung as his fuckbuddy during parties, or at the clubs. You know, before graduation and responsibilities happened.

But as one hour turned into two, and two turned into three, you found yourself getting restless. It was nearing 2AM and you had to be at the school by 8am - even earlier just to set your table up. You made your way to the bathroom, hoping Tae would get the point and start getting himself ready to leave.

Right.

Once you were out the bathroom, he'd realize you had been gone for a little and start saying his goodbye's. He'd realize time got to the best of him. Right?

"It's a fucking good time tonight!" Jimin tells Namjoon, laughing with him as he watches Joon act a fool with his dance moves.

"I'm sure it is, since you've been in Y/N's space the entire night." Taehyung says it jokingly, but he doesn't realize it only comes off that way in his head. Jimin furrows his brows at him, his high quickly dying with Taehyung's unnecessary comment.

"Don't start with all that. Not tonight. Everyone's having a good time--"

"Or what, Jimin?" Taehyung chuckles like the petty ass he can be. "You know it's true. Don't you think it's a little disrespectful to be crossing boundaries?"

"Hey, let's step back for a bit." Jungkook lightly tugs on Taehyung's arm as he hears the conversation going south quickly. But Taehyung breaks from his grip, stepping forward towards Jimin.

"You really think I would do that to you?"

"Haven't you already? Swinging your arms around her and shit, being all angelic--"

"Tae, come on. That's enough. Don't." Namjoon steps in the middle. "Let's go outside to get some air."

"You really wanna make me look that bad in front of my own girl?" Jimin lightly pushes him away, Taehyung getting too into his space.

"Enough." Namjoon shakes his head, aggressively stepping in the way to create distance. Taehyung shakes his head and walks off, the rest of the group watching as he walks. You finish off in the bathroom, assuming Tae was already getting ready to go. However, you realize your assumption of leaving by the time you're back is absolutely incorrect because when you get to the table, Taehyung is nowhere to be seen.

"Where's Tae?" Kook looks at you frazzled, before his eyes begin to pan the room again.

"Look, don't freak out, but him and Jimin just got into it and he walked off."

"What the hell do you mean they got into it and he walked off?"

"It's nothing, Tae is just drunk—" Kook squeezes your wrist and shakes his head.

"No, it's not just nothing because you and I both know how he's been feeling lately." You run your hand through your hair. "What did he say?"

"He just got into it about Jimin getting close to you lately, and how he felt like he was disrespecting boundaries." You sigh heavily.

"Fuck."

"We have an issue." Namjoon comes back from out of the blue. "He's not around."

"What do you mean?! Where did he go?" You run your hand through your hair.

"Okay, let's not panic." Jungkook tries to relax you. "Let me go check the bathrooms." Namjoon nods as he continues to look around the room.

"Please? We should get home." He nods to you before he's off to check for Tae in the bathroom. You stand near the table awkwardly, worry filling you quickly the more time passes.

"Hey, you okay? What can I do?" Hobi squeezes your arm, his face flushed with a red tint from how tipsy he is. You give him a small, reassuring smile and nod to try and keep calm.

"I honestly don't know anymore, but I'll be good. I think. We're just gonna look for him and head home."

"Is Kookie looking in the bathroom?" You nod. At this point, you catch a glimpse of Jungkook coming back alone.

"Jungkook?"

"I'm sorry, I couldn't find him in there. I swear I tried."

"So, where the hell is he?" Jungkook shrugs.

"Lets check around again. I won't leave until we find him."

"Have you tried to call him?" You had already beaten Yoongi's question, calling Taehyung's phone only to see his phone vibrating and ringing on the fucking table. "Hm, okay. Maybe not."

"Fuck." You snatch Taehyung's phone from the table. "Is he serious right now? It's about to be 2:30AM. How the fuck can he get lost at this time?"

"Y/N just go home, we'll find him and bring him home." Jimin says, coming back from roaming around the place.

"No, I'm not leaving here without him."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen." He says, looking at you in the eye. Although he was pretty fucking pissed, he couldn't help but worry about him either. No matter what, that was still his bestfriend. He didn't want anything to happen to him.

"It's not your fault."

"We need to check around the neighborhood." Jungkook suddenly comes back and grabs your arm. You follow him, Yoongi, Hobi, Namjoon and Jimin outside of the bar, the cold hitting your skin harshly.

"Let's split." Namjoon says. Jimin and Hobi split, Namjoon and Yoongi sticking together to go down a different path. You kept yourself close to Jungkook, knowing there were all sorts of drunk ass men out at this hour and you weren't helping wearing a tiny ass skirt and a deep cut shirt.

"Cutiepie, let me come holla!" A dude yells as he tries to swing his arm around your waist. Jungkook easily pushes him off, glaring at him.

"Back the fuck up." He spits out, your bestfriend coming to your rescue amongst the sea of men you're encountering on the sidewalk right now. He throws his jacket over your shoulders, hoping to shield you from them and the cold. "Your outfit." Jungkook frowns, a little worried.

"I mean, I didn't expect to lose Tae tonight." Once you had gotten to a quieter part of the street, you come from behind to walk beside him. "Where the hell could he have gone?" You whine. You're more worried for his safety and wellbeing right now more than anything and all you wanted to do was find him and bring him home, even though you were slightly worrying about yourself and how things would go tomorrow. You could give him an earful later. It could wait.

"He couldn't have gone far." You both continue down the street, heading towards your car, hoping he may be around the area. Jimin calls to check in, saying him and Hobi hadn't caught sight of him yet, and the same thing goes for Yoongi and Joon. You almost want to cry when you don't see Taehyung near your car, but Jungkook ends up walking further down towards the park near your parking spot. "Y/N! Here!" He calls out, running towards an individual slumped over on their knees on a bench. "Taehyungie?" Jungkook sits next to him and shakes him a bit.

"Shit dude, I just kept walking then I suddenly had no idea where I was at." He drunkily says as you sit next to him and sigh heavily.

"No one said you had to do that, Tae."

"I just needed some air."

"Yeah and look where that got you, it's close to 3AM." You respond, irritated.

"Y/N." Jungkook says softly, shaking his head at you as if he were signaling for you to quit with your attitude. "Let's go back to the car." Jungkook watches him stand up and wobble a bit, but eases up when he realizes Taehyung is capable of walking himself to the car. You three get back safely, letting the others know that you had found him before driving Jungkook back towards the club so he can meet with everyone else. You quickly thank him for his support before driving off to head home.

The car is incredibly cold, and silent.

"Love, I'm sorry. I just needed air and got lost." He breaks the silence.

"I see that." You say softly as you drive home, keeping your eyes glued to the road in front of you.

3:23AM.

"Please don't be mad." He gives your thigh gentle squeeze. "I just got a little into my head tonight." You sighed, gently removing his hand from your thigh.

"Taehyung, I'm your fiancé, I'm doing this with you and only you. Do you even understand how worried I was? You just walked off, without your phone. Without saying anything to me. Just cause you got in your head for no reason."

"I'm sorry." He repeats at a whisper. You don't say anything else for the rest of the drive home. You silently park the car and head to the apartment, Taehyung sluggishly following behind you. He knows you're bothered, knowing it's closing to 3:30AM and you had an early morning. Honestly, he didn't realize how drunk he was until he had gotten himself into that argument with Jimin then got lost, especially without his phone. The fact that he had made you worry and stress like that made him feel terrible, especially after these past few days. You could have easily left, but you didn't leave without him even if it was this late. He instantly just wanted to cuddle you and tell you how sorry he was.

You quietly get ready for bed and line your things up by the door, just so it would be an easy quick and grab as you head out in the morning. You slip yourself into the sheets, Taehyung following shortly after he gets himself ready for bed. He shuts off all the lights and grabs himself a water bottle to sit by his nightstand before slipping in next to you.

"I love you." He whispers against your ear, wrapping his arms around you. But you don't respond. He peeks over to see your eyes shut, silently sighing to himself as he nuzzled his head against the nape of your neck. He knows you aren't fast asleep yet, and it hurts him that you hadn't said it back. You both just knew exactly how to love each other well, but also push each other's buttons. But, maybe, it was true - he was just fucking up left and right lately. Enough for you to go to bed without saying 'I love you' back.

undefined

'cause baby if i find a way, i'm sure of it, this love won't stray; just give me a chance to say i love you, and i need you. now are you here to stay, or fade away like every other day? you're the reason that i lie awake

track two: 3AM - finding hope

[blueeyedheizer]

avoid - michael gray

WARNINGS: mentions of death, pregnancy

A/N: not sure if I like this or not lol, also it's not really proofread (actually yes i've proofread it about 50 times but my brain is barely functioning sksjdjdb) aaaand I still don't know how to end my fics

•••

You felt like you were living with a ticking time bomb waiting to blow off. You weren't sure what had caused Michael to be so cold and distant with you today but you knew that if it had anything to do with work, it was better to let him deal with it on his own. He had never been violent towards you —and you knew he would never be— but the idea of him raising his voice at you still made you nervous.

It all started this morning when he got up at about 5 to answer a call and didn't get back to bed after that. Instead he got dressed and left without a word, leaving you alone until he came back in the afternoon. You had figured Tommy must have needed him to take care of something important, but as the day went by and he was still in a mood it was getting clear that it had nothing to do with business.

"My mom wants to pay us a visit next week." you speak hesitantly as Michael walks through the door. He quickly walks past you, whispering a small "alright" on his way.

"She said she has a surprise for us. Probably has to do with the baby." you try to smile but he avoids your gaze. He only nods before grabbing an apple from the fruit bowl and leaving the room silently. Your watch him walk away with concern, the worst thoughts starting to occupy your mind.

Was he seeing someone else? Was he planning on breaking up with you?

You glanced down at your growing bump and shook your head before going back to the dishes, trying not to overthink the situation.

But soon enough, you grew tired of the deafening silence in the house and the lack of company. Michael was definitely avoiding you, staying in his office while you sat alone in the living room, trying to read a book to ease your nerves. With a sigh you closed your book and placed it on the couch next to you before making your way over to your husband's office, determined to get answers.

You didn't even bother to knock before bursting in, causing Michael's head to shoot up and his hand to instinctively reach for the drawer where his gun was safely tucked. He relaxed and leaned back on his chair when he saw you then ran a hand through his hair, sighing heavily.

"What is it, Y/N?"

"What is it?" you scoff. "You've been avoiding me all day, I want to know why." you crossed your arms over your chest, leaning against the doorframe as you waited for an answer.

"I'm not avoiding you." he spoke lowly, as if already annoyed by your presence.

"Oh yeah? Then why are you locked in your office on a sunday, not bothering to speak to me and brushing me off like I'm some stranger you don't want to cross path with?" he doesn't answer and keeps sifting through his papers and writing things down. "Michael, Im talking to you!" you raised your voice.

"Fucking hell Y/N, just leave me alone! You’ve been here all day trying to get me to talk when I clearly don't fucking want to talk to you! You really can't take a hint, can you? Just get the fuck out of here!” he suddenly yells as his first collides with the desk, making you flinch. Your body tenses and the room fills with a heavy silence as you stare at each other, his eyes hard and cold while your own fill with tears, trying hard not to let them slip. You were already a pretty emotional person, but your pregnancy made it all worse so it was obvious you'd start tearing up at the slightest confrontation. After a moment he rips his gaze away from yours and you open your mouth before closing it again. Your heart is beating fast in your chest and you can almost feel a wave of nausea.

"I'm just trying to help, Michael." you murmur, voice shaking.

"Well I don't need your help!"

After a few seconds you walk out of the room, closing the door behind you and allowing yourself to sob.

You hear a few muffled curse words coming from the office as you make your way back into the living room, soon followed by the sound of the door opening.

"Fuck, Y/N, wait!" Michael suddenly calls out, storming out of the room and running after you. Before you knew it his arms are wrapped around your waist from behind, his thumb tracing circles over your belly as he holds you close. You don't try to push him away but you sob into your hands in shame of not being able to control yourself around him, your hormones getting the best of you.

"I'm sorry, baby. I'm so sorry. Fuck, I didn't mean any of this." he spoke softly, in complete contrast with his previous outburst. He holds you and waits for your sobs to die down, occasionally pressing kisses on your cheeks and neck while his hand rubs your belly in a soothing manner. "I'm sorry, love. I love you so much." he chokes on his words as tears escape his eyes as well.

You try to focus on your breathing and control your sobs as you wipe your tears, holding your arms close to yourself while looking down.

"We're having a baby, Michael." you remind him. "You can't keep everything to yourself and just let me sit and watch when you're going through something. You can't just avoid me like the fucking plague whenever you're upset. Not anymore." you manage to say, a few hiccups cutting you mid-sentence as you speak.

"I know baby. I'm so sorry." Michael takes a deep breath before pressing a sweet kiss to your cheek. He's silent for a few more seconds, swinging you back and forth in his arms and letting you calm down before speaking up.

"My foster mom died." he finally admits softly. His arms tighten around you, refusing to let you go in fear that you would leave. Your eyes soften and you reach to rest a hand on his cheek, leaning up to press a small kiss to his jaw.

"I'm sorry." you say softly.

"I shouldn't have left her like I did. I abandoned her when I met the Shelbys and," he sighs. "I don't know. I shouldn't have cut all ties with my foster family so suddenly. Now it's too late and the woman who raised me for most of my life will never get to see my daughter." you stay silent for a moment, trying to think of an answer.

"She knew you loved her. And she also knew the life you had with her was not the life you were meant to live. You were raised as Henry, but deep down you've always been Michael. I'm sure she never blamed you for leaving." you say and he nods. You eventually let go of his embrace and turn around to wrap your arms around his waist, hugging him as properly as you can with your 5 months pregnant belly getting on the way. You both stay silent for a moment, his hand running through your hair soothingly.

"I really wish you'd told me sooner."

"I'm sorry, Y/N, I really am. I know stress is bad for the baby and I didn't want you to worry about me but I ended up doing the exact opposite." you pulled back and kissed him softly, reaching up to wipe a tear from his cheek.

"It's alright. Just promise me you won't keep these kind of things to yourself anymore. I lost my father too, you know. I know what it's like to lose someone you love." Michael nods before kissing you again, letting it linger for a moment before pecking your lips again.

You look up at him with a smile before pulling away to rest your hands on your belly, looking down at your clothed skin which grew more and more with each day.

"She's been kicking a lot lately." you smile.

"Yeah?"

"Mhmm." you nod and watch as he gets down on one knee, lifting your shirt up and kissing your growing skin as your hands rest on your hips. You chuckle at the feeling and place his hand above your belly button, your own resting on top of his, waiting for something to happen. You eventually guide his hand a few inches lower and a huge smile breaks on both your faces when you feel a rather hard kick, quickly followed by a second one a little further away from the first.

With one last kiss to your swollen skin Michael gets back on his feet and cradles your face, pulling you in for a passionate kiss which you gladly return.

"You're going to be the most amazing mom."

[kyunsies]

hello hello mädchen <3 i hope you're doing good today and it is lovely where you are

i am slowly feeling better thank you - i'm still have trouble with sleep but i hope that it gets better soon. 😢😢😢 your words. you are super amazing too and so kind. i feel we have very similar tendencies too and it's a really good thing sometimes but can also be a not so good thing. idk if you've tried this but i'm trying to try less hard? not that like i don't want to work hard but it feels like sometimes i cross that line where it's too much and it actually makes it worse? like to let go enough to be able to appreciate my work as opposed to try and kill myself over it? idk i don't know if it will work but i want to try? i've just moved to a new agent/rep that will hopefully be better for my mental health just cause they seem nicer and will stress me out less.

your job sounds really thorough though. do you enjoy it? i 100% agree with you though! i like to buy good quality clothes too, but that's probably because i really don't buy loads either so each piece feels like an investment? what did you get? is it warm where you are? or have you been investing in more wintry stuff? i so so rarely get multiple versions of albums! i always really to but then i wonder if i;m going overboard and if i end up looking at the photobooks? i got the comma and xiesta photobooks last year and now i'm not sure if i wanna sell them on to a monbebe that will appreciate them more? hmm just me overthinking probably? leather platform shoes sound AMAZING. hahah i do the same though if i know i want to spend some money so i usually wait for the following month sometimes even though i know i'm gonna get the thing anyway? haha.

i'm back to heaven as my fave now!! i'm so so so looking forward to mx eng2 but i agree with you. like these careers are so so so short i'm sure they're aware of this and just want to live their career to their full.

ahhhhh 😢😢😢i love you lots and honestly i was so scared my last year of uni too. i don't think older generations get how much harder it is for people our age when we leave uni and stuff to just start a live that is nice and happy and fulfilling. so you're not alone and honestly even now i feel the same way just after i left uni. BUT you know you have the ability and that means you'll always be able to find a way. i was gonna buy five versions of an album today so i am deffo not the most responsible haha XD but thank you and also know that being insecure means that you're human and not an asshole because honestly all the people that were so overconfident that i've ever known (and i don't mean like - putting it on to help them get through stuff or performing but legit thought they were all that) have all been assholes. so it means you have a good heart and you will always find a way. i don't deserve being looked up to honestly but i'm honored you think i am <3 i'll always keep working hard - i wish i could give you a hug in person and let you know that things will be okay! please always feel ok to tell me your troubles and anything as well. am always here for anything you need too <3

love you lots and lots and lots xxxxx 🦢

babe i am finallyyyyyyyyyy answering this now ;___; i'm so sorry i kept u waiting but i wanted to answer this with all of my attention and not when i was busy bc that wouldn't have been fair to u :( so i hope u have been well and thank u so much for being patient !!! also u used my full name ........ what if i loved u with my whole heart <3

have u finally been able to get the rest you need ? i know work can keep our anxieties on high alert, which makes us even more inclined to burn out :( i hope u are able to rest well soon and not worry too much about work in the future ;____; but like i always say i'm really proud of u for pushing thru anything bubbie like u could easily just give up or have a mental block but if there's one thing i know both of us pride ourselves in it's always finding a way to handle stress no matter what the cost it does to our mental heath etc ....... which could be a bad thing but also there's lots to be said about how our work ethic is right ?? also LDSKFJS not trying hard .......... i think u mean like not stressing myself over every little thing right? there's a saying "don't cry over spilled milk" like CHILL it's okay it's just a mistake just clean it up and move on :') i really wish i can learn this mentality in the future ...... i just don't have those types of ppl around me in nursing school bc all of us are always on edge so i think i'm missing ppl like that in my life (besides my family but to an extent they can be classified as type A personalities too skjflfj) but anyways; u said u moved onto a new agency?? i hope that works well for u and they are able to allow u to grow and create things freely <3 good luck !!!

my job is just okay !! i won't be doing this in the future but it's nice to know that for a fact i don't think i could work in an office setting like this for the rest of my life HHH but it's okay, i don't mind organizing things for other ppl esp if it will help the company in the long run !!! and about my clothes SLKDFJ i totally agree !!! like we said we don't like our bank account hitting below a certain number so everything i buy is like an "investment" like u said hehe so most of the things i buy for example jeans are over $70 for me but i know i'll probably go a whole year not buying another pair and wearing those most likely everyday lol u know ? it's very warm where i am (most days lol) so i've been buying some light weight clothing !!! i don't like wearing jean shorts or anything like that, my fav material to wear in the summer is linen and cotton so i've been buying a lot of flowy linen pants <3 i got a pair from the store madewell, and bc i was on holiday this week i went to this one swimsuit store called everything but water and they sell pricier swimwear but i get so fed up trying to go to cheaper stores to look for swim tops bc i have bigger boobs hhhh and nothing makes me feel comfortable in my own skin so i don't mind spending money on something i feel comfortable in !! anyways i bought a bathing suit from there and then i think that's it ?? i was going to buy some jo malone perfume but it's so expensive so i didn't ;____;

U ARE BACK ON THE HEAVEN TRAIN WOO HOO <3 lol it is such a good song ....... i told u it's in my top 3 comfort songs <3 and about the eng album !!! yes i totally agree, i think they're aware of how much they're doing and honestly i think they should take advantage at every opportunity that comes their way as long as they feel that have control of the situation :)

and ALL OF THIS LAST MESSAGE MADE ME CRY WHEN I READ THIS :((( i tell my mom about all my anons lololol and she knows about u and ur work and i read this last part to her and she thought it was so sweet of u to say ;_____; it's kinda comforting knowing i am not the only one who has these doubts about the last year of uni :( i don't get much feedback from my family (besides my mom and grandparents) about if they're proud of me or not , i don't think they really get how hard it is for me being a nursing student but i just want to do well at whatever i do :( i want to be able to look at myself and go "hey u know what ur doing and ur doing really well".... i just hope i get there someday ;____; i have so many anxieties and maybe i need to talk to someone about them bc i think they hinder my nursing performance rather than help me but just knowing someone like u cares out there ........ i mean u know me but we have never met and u are so sure about my abilities and i can't tell u how thankful i am for someone like u <3 truly brings tears to me eyes <3 i want to give u a hug too :( thank u for ur kind words always i could cry right now ;_____;

[ezmarie]

hi i was wondering if i could get a haikyuu match up <3 ahh i haven't done this before so sorry if it sounds weird!! my name's lin, i'm bi, and i use she/her pronouns. i'm a pisces, an enfp, and a hufflepuff/gryffindor?? it switches a lot ripp. i'm pretty extroverted, but i do like having personal time to relax! i love to make people laugh and i've also been told people tend to feel really comfortable around me? i can also be p sarcastic. i also tend to overthink a lot and am pretty sensitive. i'm pretty chill overall but in the mornings i can be a bit snappy, oops

i love writing, listening to music, being with my friends, and playing video games, but i suck at anything related to combat lmaoo. i mainly play more peaceful farming games :') i also like to swim. the one thing i can think of that i can't stand is math, i stg my brain was not meant for it. i also love animals! 

i'm like 5'3"ish?? a bit shorter probably, sadly. i have long brown hair and brown eyes, and i have a pretty athletic figure if that makes sense?? i listen to mainly pop and indie rock, but i honestly have a bit of everything on my playlists. my favorite song rn is attention by joji! the top qualities i look for in a partner are patience, humor, and honesty. 

this got a bit long, sorry!! also your blog may have inspired me to make a matchups blog as well? idk, it seems fun! thank you!

Hiii! Ofc you can and don’t worry it doesn’t sound weird at all :) I ship you with...akaashi!!

First, I feel that with akaashi being reserved and composed he needs someone like you, more extroverted but still values personal time as well. You help him out of his shell and get him to be at least a little more socially interactive but you aren’t so energetic that it kinda wears him down. Your basically the perfect balance he needs in order to grow while still being comfortable. He never shows a wide range of emotions either so I think that the way you love making others laugh and how outgoing you are kinda breaks down his composed demeanor. Of course it doesn’t change much with other people but when you’re there he acts so different, he can’t help but laugh and smile to himself because of his sheer adoration for you. It also helps how he feels so comfortable around you so he’s not really afraid to let himself out.

He’s sooo understanding of your tendency to seriously overthink things. He knows exactly what that’s like, he’s an anxious person and it’s canon that he overthinks a lot which probably leads to stress and a lot of other negative mental influences. He would try so hard to get his overthinking under control to show you that he’ll do it with you because he just wants you to be happy and not have to worry so much like he does. He’s not the best at having fun or creating a happy vibe, but when it comes to that he really tries. He attempts to create a more carefree atmosphere as to not overwhelm you into getting in your bad mindset again. Another reason he takes it so seriously too is because he wants to get better at it as well. He wants to become more mentally free with you. That being said, he also understands how sensitive you are. Whether you show it or not he figured it out fast by looking at the little habits you do when something affected or hurt you. He recognizes them as something he does as well and just puts two and two together. He would never be the one to hurt you in any way anyways, like seriously you do not have to worry about him ever insulting or affecting you in any way like that. He would be so comforting of you too, so when you’re having an anxious or bad day he would be right there doing stuff to get your mind off things and cheer you up a little.(Also small thing but I feel like he loves your sarcasm. Like he personally can be very sarcastic when he wants to and he just loves how you match that with your own sarcastic remarks. He just never really expects it but when you use it he just laughs to himself because you’re honestly too perfect🥺🤚)

Small thing but: akaashi is SO patient like his patience is infinite (mostly because he has to deal with bokuto lol) so that will never be a problem for you two. Same thing with honesty, he is completely honest 24/7. Honestly he’s a little TOO honest sometimes and naturally is just very blunt but it just means that youll be able to trust him to tell the truth. Now with humor on the outside he doesn’t show much emotion whatsoever so humor isn’t really a strong suit at all. However, when you two are alone he lets his humor out. Yes he still might not be a comedian but trust me he laughs way more than usual and actually can follow your humor. I mean he hangs out with bokuto all the time and as much as he doesn’t want to admit it he’s rubbed off a bit on him in that department. But seriously he thinks you’re so friggin funny and it’s honestly difficult for him to keep his composure a lot because your jokes make him crack up.

Scenarios with the two of you:

•you two would be such good writers and it’s something you both share love for. You guys will always write little stories together on lazy days or days you need to be cheered up or sometimes you’ll make vv small stories about something you and him actually did in the past and will give them to eachother

•you two just playing Minecraft together on peaceful mode while your more calm pop playlist plays in the background. You both have this one HUGE house (with a farm, animals, mining area, there’s a lot more too) that you always add onto and it’s literally in the best area. Also your beds may or may not be placed next to eachother🥰

•one time you guys were alone and you told a really funny and quick joke and he tried so hard to keep it together but he LOST it. That was the hardest and most you’ve ever seen him laugh and you were honestly caught off guard but it ended up making you two laugh even harder because of the look on your face when you heard him practically wheezing on the floor

Sorry this took so long but I hope you liked this!! Also wait I inspired you to make a matchup blog??🥺 DO IT I bet you would be so good at it !! I would follow you immediately, it’s literally so fun too😌 :)

[crutchie-with-a-y]

hey yo i love your stuff so much, i really liked your sarah and jack stuff, so i was wondering if you could do a modern one?? super angsty lol i'm in a mood

Thank You for the request, I’m so happy you like my writing! This isn’t as angsty as I would like, but I wanted to get you a response ASAP! Hope you enjoy!

Jack Kelly hadn't slept in two days. He didn't mean to, it just sort of happened. The first night he'd stayed up watching Disney movies with his girlfriend Sarah. The second night, well, he'd just been too stressed to sleep. Sarah had left his house slightly annoyed with him after he accidentally spilled a cup of coffee on her sweater. It was the pink one with Ms. Piggy on it, her favorite. And she didn't leave because of the dark brown stain, she was already getting ready to leave anyway, she had to go home and get her uniform for work in a few hours. She didn't actually seem that upset over it anyway. Or maybe she did? No, if she was she would have told him. Sarah was always so good at communicating. But maybe he made her really, REALLY mad, and she was too considerate to go off on him. But she could probably get the stain out anyway why would she be that mad? Either way, Jack Kelly had been overthinking the situation for the past 24 hours because of the exchange they'd had while she was leaving.

"Call me when you're off work, maybe I can get you pizza or something to make up for the sweater?" Jack had said, holding open the door for her.

"Yeah, sure. Whatever," Sarah had sighed as she stepped out the door.

But she had never called. And when Jack called her two hours after the latest she'd ever worked, she didn't pick up. And when she didn't respond for three more hours, Jack had called again, apologizing profusely. No response. He had texted a few times. Nothing. At about two am, Jack had tossed his phone behind the couch and given up, turning on the news and picking up his sketch pad. It was about 6 am, and a detailed portrait of Sarah giggling adorably in her Ms. Piggy sweater had found its way onto his page. He'd drawn it from memory, the image of her leaning against him with that cute smile on her face as Olaf sang about getting gorgeously tan in summer. He smiled at it, even in smudged granite, she was so pretty. And so mad at him, he thought, his eyes falling to Ms. Piggy's face on her sweater. God, how could he be so stupid? He let his forehead fall forward, resting against the paper with a sigh.

"JACK! JACK OPEN THE DOOR!" Jack woke up to a pounding at his door three hours later. He shot up. Sarah?

"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JACK GET OFF YOUR MOODY BULLSHIT AND OPEN UP!" Nope, Katherine. He scrambled towards the door, wondering what the cause was of such alarm. He pulled it open to see Katherine and Elmer staring at him with frantic looks.

"Why the FUCK haven't you responded to any of our messages?'" Katherine stuck her face in his.

"We've been trying to reach you for hours!" Elmer shook his phone in the air.

"I haven't been on my phone-"

"Ohhhh, he hasn't been on his phooooone." Katherine rolled his eyes.

"Kath, shut up," Elmer said and turned back to Jack. "C'mon, bro, we gotta go."

"Go? Go where?" Jack had dashed back into his living room to retrieve his phone.

"The hospital! Let's go." Katherine waved him back towards them. Jack froze.

"The hospital? W-why would we go there?" Katherine and Elmer looked at each other before turning back to him with a softer look. He felt his stomach drop.

"Jack," Elmer said. "Sarah was in a car accident last night."

"Oh my god, oh my god." Jack was aggressively swiping through his missed messages, tears brimming in his eyes.

"Jack it's going to be okay, the lady from the hospital said-"

"I don't CARE what the lady from the hospital said," Jack interrupted Katherine as they sped towards the hospital in her car. "My girlfriend was in a CAR ACCIDENT and I couldn't even be bothered to pick up my phone! Oh my god."

"Jack, it's alright, she's going to be okay." Elmer turned around in the passenger seat to try and calm him down.

"And why haven't you two been to see her?" Jack lashed out, upset at everything and everyone.

"We were on a road trip to Scarsdale visiting Katherine's Aunt when we got the call, four hours away. They said you were listed as her emergency contact but they couldn't reach you." Elmer's response only upset Jack even more, and he clenched his head in his hands as hot tears fell down his face.

"Jack, it's okay," Katherine looked at him in the review mirror as she turned the steering wheel. "We're here." Jack shot out of the car before Katherine could pull into a parking spot, almost getting hit by a gray sedan in the process. The car honked loudly, but he kept running, speeding through the revolving doors and up to the front desk as fast as his legs could take him. He didn't slow down fast enough, slamming into the front edge of the desk.

"I need the room of a...Sarah Jacobs," Jack said, holding his stomach as he tried to catch his breath. A middle-aged man with a black beard and thick-framed glasses looked up at him and then down at his computer.

"Uhhh, Yes, Ms. Jacob's in room 47, right down that way," The man pointed to his left. "May I ask who is visiting?"

"Jack Kelly," Jack said, pushing off the desk in the direction the man had pointed.

"Wait, you'll need this!" Jack turned around as the man tossed him a laminated visitor's pass on a bright yellow lanyard.

"Thanks," Jack pulled it over his neck as he sprinted back down the hall, narrowly avoiding nurses pushing carts and other visitors. "Forty-four, forty-five, forty-six, forty-" Jack stumbled backward in shock as he reached his girlfriend's room, tears brimming again in his eyes. Hanging on the door handle on a hangar with a plastic cover over it was the Ms. Piggy sweatshirt. And covering the coffee was a dark red bloodstain.

Right when Jack thought he would pass out, the door swung open as a nurse exited the room, laughing to someone over her shoulder. She turned her head and smiled warmly when she saw him.

"Oh! Are you Mr. Kelly?"

"Jack!" From behind her, a voice called Jack back down to earth. Jack darted past the nurse and into the room.

Sarah lay propped up in a bed against bright white pillows and bright white sheets. Her right leg was in a cast and a black brace gripped her hand. Her hospital gown drooped slightly off her shoulder to show a strip of gauze in the center of her chest.

"Jack! Jack, where were you? I was so w-" Jack walked right up to her bedside and delicately but passionately kissed her, cutting her off.

"I'm so sorry," He said softly, rubbing a cut he had noticed on her lip. "Are you alright?"

"Ah, yes, mmhmm," Sarah blinked. "Yeah, I'm fine. But what the hell happened to you? The nurse said you hadn't answered any calls. "

"Well, I-" Jack looked at his feet. He was embarrassed. And Sarah could tell.

"What?" She squinted at him with a smirk.

"I just, ah," He squeezed his eyes shut and bit his lip. "You didn't call me or respond to any of my messages, so I figured you were still mad."

"Mad? What would I be mad about?" Sarah tried to remember the day before, and suddenly she raised her eyebrows at me. "No, Jack. I know you didn't..."

"I don't know, it was your favorite-"

"Oh for fucks sake, Jack."

"It was a really big stain!"

"Do you hear yourself?" Sarah laughed exasperatedly. "You are trying to justify to me why I would be mad at you for something as stupid as spilling coffee on my sweater." Jack scrunched up his nose.

"Well, when you put it like that...."

"It's quite dumb, correct." She crossed her arms and huffed dramatically. They stared at each other for a minute before bursting out in loud, silly laughter.

"Can I get you a new sweater?" Jack chuckled as he pulled Sarah into his chest, who giggled as she nodded. And there, at that moment, she looked exactly how he had pictured her in her sweater watching Frozen. Exactly as he had drawn her. "And until Amazon delivers that sweater," Jack pulled back and reached into his pocket, pulling out a piece of paper, "I hope this can make up for it." He handed Sarah the sketch and she marveled at it, the intense detail, shading, and, of course, how realistic of a Ms. Piggy he had a drawn. She looked back at him.

"Only if you at least attempt to stop overthinking everything." Jack grinned at her.

"Deal," He said, leaning down and pressing a loving kiss onto her lips.