#I'm so glad this looks good because the amount of effort I poured into this

[therealamperssand]

@comicaurora remember that thing you said about committing way too hard?

[cerealforkart]

Announcements and Updates

I already mentioned this with my anniversary comic this morning (I'm glad people seemed to like "it's back on air"), but Dungeons and Daddies the Manga is a whole year old today and I wanted to talk about a couple things!

For starters, thank you to everyone who's been on this journey with me, from those of you who have been here since lesson 1 to those of you who only just discovered lesson 42 yesterday (you probably don't exist because the tags hated lesson 42). Whether you like or reblog every single lesson, you silently read the updates without ever interacting with them, and even if you fell out of the fandom but you read the manga at some point, I appreciate you all so deeply.

I might be making this a bigger deal than it actually is, but Dungeons and Daddies the Manga is a really special project to me. I'm so proud of my growth and I've put a genuinely crazy amount of time and effort into this. There was a time when I was trying to catch up when this was basically a second job. I would come home from work and draw manga pages until I went to sleep, it was all I did, it probably wasn't healthy tbh. People in the discord know, I've gotten crazy efficient at making these, if I don't have anything else going on, I can pump out 2-3 of these a day when new episodes drop. I've never undertaken a project this big before, I'm more the kind of person with a million abandoned first chapters, so to actually still be keeping up with this is huge for me, so I'm hyping this up a little bit.

If anyone has ever thought, "wow, I would love to support cereal financially! They seem to work very hard and would probably really like some money! I would also love some of cereal's cute art to plaster on my belongings," please keep your eyes open, I'll be dropping stickers in near future (Taylor in the trash can will be one of them)! I meant to have them ready for today, but I've never sold anything online before, and I'm kind of stumbling through the process. I'll try to have them up soon! So keep an eye out in the upcoming weeks.

For those of you who only care about Dungeons and Daddies the Manga, you can stop reading here, thank you so much for enjoying my manga this past year! For anyone interested in some personal updates and projects, please keep reading, I've been working on something I'm finally ready to announce.

I've learned a lot from my work on Dungeons and Daddies the Manga. My art has improved a lot, and it's still improving all the time, and I've really come to love making comics. Which is why maybe it won't be so surprising to learn I've decided to start an original webcomic. This webcomic won't interfere with my work on the manga, no need to worry, but as much as I love the manga, and the DnDads community, there's only so much I feel like I get back from it. I've been pouring so much time, energy, and love into Dungeons and Daddies the Manga over the past year, and I'm so proud of my product, but I want to start putting some of all that into something that's actually mine. I've been through a weird past couple of months where I went through some really bad burnout, looked around my life and realized "oh wow, this ALL sucks! I don't like a single thing I have going on here!" So, I quit my job, moved, and while I've been restructuring my life, I started dusting off some of those old abandoned first chapters I mentioned earlier and getting back into original work.

The webcomic is called The Rotting Things, I've teased it a very little bit here and there. It's about a boy with a power that is slowly but surely killing him and a man said to be unable to die trying to maneuver through a world of magic that hates anyone unlucky enough to be able to wield it.

I'm kind of nervous about starting a webcomic, but I've been waiting to be "good enough" to put something out there for a very long time, and I'm trying to come to terms with the fact I'll never be fully happy with my own work and just diving in. It would mean a lot to me if anyone wanted to give it a chance.

An eight page prologue will be dropping next Friday, September 29th, after which pages will start to drop one at a time every Friday. We'll see how I handle the one update a week schedule, it might go up to two pages a week depending on how confident I feel. Just like the manga was, this will be a learning curve for me, but I'm eager to try it out! Please give it a shot!

[nampeung]

My Love Mix Up ended! My feelings didn't change all too much. Even before I felt like GMMTV did GemFourth and their fans dirty. Who had the idea to give them such a cheap attempt at a series? My new theory is that this was their way of satisfying the fans with a series that didn't use much budget - because look at the amount of sponsors. So they gave GemFourth something simple to play, a story people would watch (I haven't met many people that didn't like Kieta Hatsukoi) and that was easy to fund with 12 sponsors or however many there were.

If they did that to my ForceBook, I'd be LIVID. At this moment, I'm glad I'm a casual GemFourth fan. My disappointment with GMM is big, but I'll manage. I just feel really bad for their fans, because what in the world was this series? They threw Kongthap's character under the bus and destroyed any good moment by surrounding it with a bunch of product placements, that simply destroyed my viewing experience.

I wrote this before, but if this was some no-name couple and their first series, I'd be okay with how this went down. I'd still not be happy about it, but I'd be okay. They need to get financed. But GeminiFourth? They brought in 1M tweets with nearly zero effort an I'm shaking my head, because I've seen MANY better series this year that struggled to get to the 500K mark.

So in the end, the series was not something I hate. It was fluffy and cute, I loved some of the scenes and nobody talk bad about these actors, because all of them were spot on and tried their best. Fourth's acting was so good and he would have deserved a better series to pour his soul into like this. Atom talking to Kongthap's mom and him waiting anxiously for his university application result had me close to tears, DESPITE the bad rest of the episode.

I am glad I see tweets of people who genuinely enjoyed the series. It's just I'm not one of them and I'll probably not come back to this version of Kieta Hatsukoi. Maybe if someone uploads a commercial-and-product-placement-cleaned version one day. Should be short enough for a re-watch then lol I felt so bad that the last few weeks, I'd come home from work on my Friday, look at Youtube and be like "Oh right, the new episode is up. Guess I'll watch this one quickly." when for pretty much any other weekday series I'll start watching ON THE TRAIN because I'm looking forward to a new episode.

What this series teaches me, though, is that maybe some couples did take a break consciously this year. Because naturally there is a budget for a year of productions and GMMTV has to go for cheaper and more expensive productions to make the most of it. Some will have to sit out. I'm just not sure I like this cheap way out as a solution for cash cows like GemFourth just to keep fans happy. Is it "better than nothing"? Was this the smartest move? I'm not too sure. I just know my rating for this one is not good enough for what GF would have deserved.

[aspiringsophrosyne]

The Legend of Vox Machina: Season One and Two Post Mortem

So, season 1 and 2 of The Legend of Vox Machina are now out.

Let's do a post mortem on them.

One caveat: the CRew has said in interviews and behind the scenes videos that they wanted to take future events into account when writing early seasons. This means some things in the first twenty-four episodes aren't meant to pay off until later, or won't make sense except in hindsight. Especially if the story's significantly changed from the stream.

However, keeping that in mind, I think we can still look at what the episodes we've seen so far have done right and wrong on their own.

So, let's get to it!!

Episodes 1-2: The Terror of Tal'dorei

Given that the kickstarter for this series was only meant to pay for a thirty minute special that grew to an hour long season opening, I had certain expectations going in.

Basically, pilot energy.

And I was not disappointed. That isn't necessarily bad, but you could detect an extra hard push in this series' beginning. A push to prove itself, establish that this was a capital 'A' adult animation, and that it had somewhere to go from season one. Again not bad....except that some of that energy may have overstayed its welcome at this point.

But we'll get there.

First, let's talk about the good.

The Good

The VAs of the main cast are of course spot the fuck on, which was a given. They are all talented professionals who made these characters, after all. But it was still a thrill hearing them voice VM again after they'd been playing as the Nein and the Hells for so long.

The guests are no slouch either: David Tenant is in turn affably and menacingly Scottish, Indira Varma and Stephanie Beatriz are perfect as Allura and Kima, and Khary Payton, in very little time, portrays Uriel as a regal and noble ruler. Tony Hale makes for a great red herring, and Sunil Malhotra brings a warm, playful yet sincere portrayal of Shaun Gilmore to absolute life. As much passion and verve as Matt poured into the character, I'm glad he handed the role off to someone who's taking such good care of it.

Emon is beautiful. No notes whatsoever. The palace, the city, Gilmore's Glorious Goods....all of it is like a dream come to life. Art team is killing it.

Character design? For these characters? Pretty spot on. Everyone has great, economical designs that are still very recognizable as the Vox Machina we know and love.

Neil's music is sweeping and gorgeous. He brings such a grandiose sense of scale to the world; a scale which Exandria deserved, but I wasn't sure she would be able to get. His use of Your Turn to Role in the soundtrack is always fun to pick out. And last but not least, the themes of the Iron Storm fights in particular serve to get the blood pumping.

Said fights are also a blast. The second one obviously wins out just by nature of it being more of a contested battle, but both have just the right amount of a struggle to make the survival and eventual victory of Vox Machina feel earned. Everyone building on each other's efforts, one after another, in order to bring down Brimscythe once and for all is just perfection. That was the moment it really felt like Vox Machina had truly come alive in this new medium. It's still so much fun to look back on.

One thing the show devotes itself to frequently (sometimes very well and sometimes quite ham-fistedly) is set up for future events. In this instance, I think this was done quite well in the décor of Krieg's abode, and in the orbs (that, according to the cast, were straight out of the home game) that tie the rest of the Conclave to Vox Machina, and specifically Keyleth to Raishan, for future conflicts.

Alright, so? On to the shitty bits.

The Shitty Bits.

In all honesty, there's not much to write here if only because the two parter that starts things off is such a short, self-contained story. Most of my complaints here are nitpicky and come down to personal preference. My bigger problems are things that have carried over into the series at large, and, as of my writing this, either have not gotten better or have gotten better only a negligible amount. These I'll be addressing in full later, so I won't waste time on them here.

Nitpick: Allura's line about capturing the creature is a little awkward. I would switch it around.

From:

"With all due respect Sir Fince, we don't even know what the creature is. Demon? Elemental? And how do you propose we capture it?"

To:

"And how do you propose we capture it? With all due respect Sir Fince, we don't even know what the creature is. Demon? Elemental?"

And of course the "dumbass" remains unsaid, because Allura, in every iteration, is classy like that.

Nitpick: I'm disappointed that when Vax was accused of being "Too weak to tickle [his] own pickle." Pike didn't pipe up from the other side of the bar with: "No he's not!"

Nitpick: The bit with the sandwich feels very contrived in order to get Vax a toothpick and ruin said sandwich. Just saying, could've done it in a way that felt more natural. Or done something else entirely.

A couple of times in Season One Grog get's knocked out of the fight early. This could be an example of the Worf Effect, where a threat is made to look particularly dangerous if it takes out the big/strong/especially skilled guy in the group. However, if you want to pull this but you don't give the character a chance to prove how strong they are in a challenging battle before you do, it's not going to be incredibly effective. (We only had the tavern brawl before this, and just about everyone had a good showing there.) And even if you do give the character that chance, depending on how you use this trope, it can come off as cheap.

This comes up again later, so I'm just pointing it out now.

This next bit is one that'll come up again as well, so I feel like I need to bring this up here before getting into it again later; Scanlan is the first to declare they're killing the dragon. It's not unlikely that he's just reading the room and realizes that everybody else is turning to the idea already.....but he doesn't try to dissuade them or try to get out of it himself.

This is important for season 2.

That's it for now. On to episode 3: The Feast of Realms.

[bamimi-bami]

Bloody seven hells, I need a damned drink.

Spearsong received a notice from the refugees down in Little Ala Mhigo a day or two ago. Apparently, folks have been dying — frozen solid in the middle of the desert. I'm used to desert nights gettin' a touch cold... but not that bad. Needed a group of folks good at fightin' monsters, and we just so happen to fit that description when we're not slingin' whiskey.

Utayuu gathered Reede, Oaky, and me up to set out and see what we could find out. Glad I suggested takin' some of our signature fire-enchanted whiskey, because when we teleported in I thought we had just returned to Ishgard. Folks all over shiverin' from the snap-chill without the proper clothes, it reminded me of the Brume in Foundation.

Findin' one of the guards, we found out that the deaths spread like some sort of sickness: whoever interacted with the deceased before they went, they were the next to go. With us chattin' up for information, a trinket I found on our last hunt began heatin' up and nearly singed the inside of my pocket. Figuring time was against us, we made our way to the first unfortunate soul's bunk and looked about for clues. Reede, the detective-lad he is, quickly found us a shard of crystal that nearly took his fingers off from the cold. I've got aethersight, so followin' the trail was simple enough after pumping some aether into it.

Followin' it outside, Reede nearly got his head taken clean off by a spear made of ice. We could hardly see from the snowstorm, and the group fought like demons not to get impaled — in the lad's case, literally. Glowin' eyes and such. Never knew he had it in him. Oaky was colder than the snow, however. Lass could pick the spears out of the air and slice them with her sword. Sadly, Uta tryin' to eat one using that blue magic of hers didn't fare too well. Got clocked in the head for her efforts.

With me sniffin' out the trail and everyone helpin' out, we cornered the damned thing to its lair. What was waitin' for us was... well, confusing.

It was a damned snowman.

A snowman! Like the kind you see 'round Starlight celebrations, smilin' face and all. Unnerving. Reede wasn't happy his sister was hurt, so he poured some of our aether-charged whiskey over his blade and nearly put the thing out of its misery before I held him back. That bauble in my pocket from earlier? It was beggin' me to kill the damned thing. Now, I'm not going to start trustin' coins I found sitting in a wyvern's nest — especially ones calling for death and killing. We didn't get much from the creature, other than apparently I've been claimed by some sort of summer spirit and it wasn't all that happy that I came so close with the trinket.

Sadly, before we could press it for more information, Reede struck it down. I think it might have cursed him, screamin' out putting him on a "naughty list" before it gave up the ghost. At least we got a sizable amount of enchanted ice-water for makin' frozen treats over at Spearsong. We all agreed we need to look into this whole situation more, because it feels like these hunts are becomin' connected. Damn astrologians probably laughin' at me right now...

Anyroad, I'm home in Ul'dah in my nice, warm bed. Hopefully, whatever wormed its way into my possession doesn't keep me from gettin' a full night's sleep. Gettin' a drink can wait until tomorrow.

(Screenshot was taken by Reede Gahjewesfv of our confrontation!)

[volturicangetit]

D.V/A.V/J.V/F.V- soft moments

anon: ANY OF THE VOLTURI GUARDS WITH 9, 10, 12, AND 13 FROM YOUR PROMPTS.

9 ” Vampires? God no, those fuckers can go back to the ’ Vampire Diaries ’, I’ll have a wolf. “

10 ” Fuck me. “ ” I might. “

12 ” There is blood on my new couch, my phone just broke and I’m already in big debt so, no, I won’t calm down. “.

13 ” Cool cape, mosquito boy. “

A/N: I decided to just use one prompt for every guard so yeah, because I just couldn’t choose between them. <#

DEMITRI:

A steady knock on your window pulls your attention away from your book. You look up at your left towards your window. A dark figure with two bright red eyes is staring at you. A normal person would be terrified, but not you. You have gotten to know the person as Demitri. You met him two months back when you had gotten lost in the city that you now call your home, Volterra. He had shown you around and brought you back to your house and you have stayed friends ever since. He comes by almost every night to check up on you and hang out at your place for a bit. You quickly throw the book down onto the couch you are sitting on and jump up, running to the window. You open it and Demitri silently makes his way inside. You quickly close the window behind him to prevent any more cold air from coming into your warm home. Demitri wraps his arms around you and pulls you into a tight hug. His cold skin is concealed by a thick layer of clothes. His normally formal outfit of a robe and blouse is now replaced by a pair of sweatpants and a sweater. You didn't know any better than 'casual Demitri' but if any of his coven members saw him like this, it would be a culture shock. "Demi," you croak out. "Can't breath.". You give him some pats on his back so signal him to let you go. He quickly releases you from his grip and walks over to the couch before letting himself fall onto the soft furniture. His fingers run over the cotton fabric that covers it.

"So, what have you been up to?" he asks. A smile appears onto your face at the sound of his voice. God, you loved his accent. You walk over to him and grab the book that is lying beside him. He looks at the cover. "A vampire novella?" he asks. You shake your head, smacking his head with the book softly before plopping onto the couch next to him and continuing your book.

"Vampires? God no, those fuckers can go back to the ’ Vampire Diaries ’, I’ll have a wolf," you say before pointing at the white wolf printed into the cover of the book. Demitri fake pouts as he holds a hand over his heart. "Oh, how it breaks my old heart to hear that.". You know about Demitri's vampirism. You don't know the in's and out's of it but it also isn't very hard to guess judging by his red eyes and unusual clothing when you first met.

You shrug, putting the book down again. "Yeah, I don't know. At least wolves won't try to kill me," you say. You put your two pointer fingers up to your lips, making 'fangs' with them. "I want to suck yer' blood!" you say in a bad Dracula-like accent. Demitri lets out a laugh as he gives your arm a playful slap. "On a totally different note, want to watch a movie? Maybe 'Dracula'?" you ask. Demitri throws a pillow that is lying beside him at your head.

"Or 'The vampires assistant'?" you giggle as you shield yourself from the pillow. Demitri lets out a groan as lets his head fall back and rest against the couch. "Will you ever stop with those annoying vampire jokes?". You shake your head with a shit-eating grin on your lips. Demitri jumps up and holds a hand softly over your throat as he leans in closer. "I might just have to turn you then,". You swat his hand away from you and give him a small push against his chest before grabbing the remote of your television and turning it on, opening Netflix. "Yeah right, now shut up and watch 'Dracula' with me”

ALEC:

You and the other higher guards are walking over to the throne room. A trial is to be held in a couple of minutes and you're presence is requested to protect the masters from a possible lash out. You got yourself a place in the Volturi a couple of hundred years ago when Alec and Jane found you on a mission. You felt a strong pull toward Alec the moment you saw him. Marcus confirmed your suspicion when he stated that you two were indeed mates. You and Alec have been inseparable ever since. Which is why it doesn't even faze you when he suddenly runs up beside you, wrapping an arm around your waist as he walks with you to the throne room. "I was wondering where you were," you say as you lean into his touch.

"I am sorry, il mio amore, some new guard had gotten into some trouble," he says. You shrug, before looking in front of you again. "It's alright,". The trip to the throne room isn't very long. From behind the door, you can already hear grunts and screaming. The vampire on trial had arrived earlier and is clearly not agreeing with the masters. Alec turns you towards him to give you a kiss. Your lips connect and you melt into his touch. The moment is short-lived though since you hear the sound of the marble floor breaking. A fight. "Fuck me," you mumble under your breath as you get yourself ready to fight off the vampire. "I might," Alec growls into your ear.

You push him off you with a smile. "Maybe if you walk me with the wanker," you say as you point towards the dark oak doors. Alec nods as he walks out in front of you and throws the doors open. He looks over his shoulder and sends a wink your way before using his speed to run towards the angry vampire. Cheeky fucker.

JANE:

You are annoyed. No, angry. Your day had already been shitty. You missed your bus so you had to walk to work through the pouring rain. Your feet have been killing you since you woke up and your boss yelled at you for coming late. Now, when you finally got home, you find your best friend Jane on your now blood-stained couch with your neighbour lying dead beside her. You got so scared from the sight that you let your phone fall on the ground, causing the screen to break. "What the fuck, Jane? What the actual, royal fuck!" you scream at her as you run over to her to check if she's okay. She slaps away your hand tiredly. "I didn't get to drink in some time, I'm sorry," she says as wipes the remainders of blood from the corners of her mouth with the back of her hand. You shake your head as you sprint to your kitchen to get a damp cloth in an effort to safe your ruined couch.

"I got that you have to drink blood and shit, but why the fuck do you need to use my neighbour for that? He's kind, well was, thanks to you," your tone is pointed as you crouch down in front of the couch and to scrub the still fresh blood away. "He was only human," Jane shrugs as she gets up from her position on the floor. She uses her speed to run over to the kitchen and grab herself a cloth as well and starts to help you with the couch.

"Only human? What the fuck is wrong with being human?" you yell. She places a hand on your shoulder which you quickly shrug off. "Jesus, calm down,". You shake your head and throw your cloth at her head. "There is blood on my new couch, my phone just broke and I’m already in big debt so, no, I won’t calm down,". You stand up and starts to walk in circles around your living room. Everything was becoming a bit too much. Jane quickly sees the seriousness of the issues and walks over to you, pulling you into a hug to make you stand still. You break down in her arms, letting the tears that have been building up all day finally fall from your eyes. Jane rubs soft circles on your back with one hand as the others softly pet your head.

"It is going to be alright," she says in a soft voice. " I'll take care of your financials and replace your couch. Vampire money, remember?" she says. You laugh through your tears as you hear her use your term for the insane amount of money the Volturi and its members have build up over time. You nod, wrapping your arms around her small form. "It is going to be alright, I am here for you.”

FELIX:

You are the newest and youngest member of the Volturi, having only been turned three years ago and joining them only a year into your 'second life'. The Volturi normal didn't have such young members but they changed that when Aro saw you using your gift in one of Alice's visions. The age gap between you and the rest is like an elephant in the room. Not only did you dress very different from them, but your vocabulary is also vastly different. You have been getting along with Felix because of this. You are like a breath of fresh air in his dead lungs. "Hey, beefcake!" Felix hears you call out. You have given him that nickname since the moment you met him, and he would be lying is he said it didn't bring a smile to his face. He turns around, looking down at you. "What cracka-lacking, old man?" you say. He tilts his head to the side in confusion.

"Cracka-lacking?" he asks with a smile on his face. You nod. "Yeah, like, what's up?". He nods, shrugs his shoulder before pointing over his shoulder, notifying you on what direction to go. He continues his walk and you follow him. " Not a lot, I have to bring a message to the secretary,".

You wipe some fake sweat of your forehead. "Pf, glad I showed up. You would have given her a heart attack, homie.". He frowns his forehead as he looks at you. "I can't help how fragile human hearts are," he says in a deep tone. You shake your head and give his arm a soft slap.

"Hearts are not fragile, you're just really fucking scary," you say. "Like a big bear. A big blood-sucking bear,". Felix rolls his eyes at your words as you near the secretary. Panic fills her eyes as she spots Felix but that leaves the moment she sees you. You send her a thumbs-up as you run over to her desk, sitting down into it. "Hi, what's popping?" you ask as you two do your handshake. You created a handshake with her as you spent most of your day with her. Not only was it good to be around her to gain more self-control, but since you are still very new to the vampire world you relate to her the most. "Sto bene, grazie," she says. She doesn't know much English, which is why you are teaching her some and she is teaching you Italian. Felix hands a small note he has been holding to her. She quickly reads through it before sending him a smile. She grabs a package from under her desk and hands it to him. "New clothes," she says in a thick accent.

Felix rips the brown bag of the piece of clothing. A robe. He wraps it around his shoulders to see if it fits. "Cool cape, mosquito boy," you say, earning a laugh from the secretary. "I am as much of a mosquito as you are," he says. You nod your head at him as you jump off the desk, spotting Alec at the end of the hall and walking towards him. "Sounds like something a mosquito would say," you say with a laugh before calling out to Alec.

TWILIGHT TAGLIST:

@scuzmunkie​ @thanossexual​ @prettyinblack231​ @cullens-stuff​ @rexburn12​ @kpopgirlbtssvt​

[thedancingcrab]

This week marks mental health awareness week. I don't know how much a social media post really does.. Maybe nothing at all. But I'd like to start this off in saying that I've become a lot more confident in my body since I let myself gain weight instead of holding onto the idea that I should always be slim to be considered attractive. And let me tell you why.

This past year and probably years and years before that I've had to put so much time and energy into healing. It's been one of the most exhausting processes but also so rewarding at the same time. Because I can tell you this whole heartedly. I now like myself. No. I love myself. I love everything that I am and what I've become. But this wasn't an overnight process. It's been painful, I've had to confront a lot of my wrong doings, mistakes and negative thoughts about myself to get to where I am now. I had to find hobbies. I had to pour my energy into other things than myself. Because honestly. When you die, no one's gonna think about how beautiful you were. They might say it, but they will focus on how you were beautiful in other ways. Maybe how you lit up the room with your smile. How you were so positive and how much they miss your energy.

A hobby I've found in this past year is cycling and going hiking and it's done wonders for my mental health. Because I started worrying less about what my body looks like and more what it can actually do for me. I have legs that allow me to walk up mountains. Not everyone is that lucky. I live somewhere where I get to see some of the most beautiful sights in the world (Wales isn't a shithole trust me there really is incredible places). We hardly ever criticise how nature looks so why do we do it to ourselves? Another thing I've noticed as well is that the only person who really says bad things about my appearance..is me. Nobody really cares. People are so focused on themselves and what they're doing. I used to get told I was ugly in school all the time. Even by girls who were supposed to be my friends. But I refuse to carry the weight of those opinions with me around anymore. Maybe I didn't look the best in school, but it wasn't my focus. I was quirky and I owned that. But I didnt have the self awareness back then that I do now. And the weight of those opinions got on top of me so much, until they became a problem and I found myself with an eating disorder and I stopped eating and increasing the amount of makeup I wore cause I thought that was what happiness felt like. Skinny, glamorous. It didn't get any better.

I convinced myself I was happy whilst I ate sugar free jelly and low calorie ice cream. But it was hell and I'm so glad I know what real ice cream tastes like now. As for my face, it's nice to let it breathe every now and then as well. I'm beautiful with no makeup on and I'm beautiful if I want to wear it. But I don't always feel that way. I still have bad days and there's still that voice somewhere that tells me I'm out of shape and should maybe increase my exercise and eat a bit better. It will probably always be there. When you've struggled with your body perception for years I'm not sure it ever quite goes away. But I also recognise when those thoughts come up now and it's easier to flick them away. Cause I know there is so much more to me than how I look and I get so sad when others don't have that awareness too cause I've been there and I know what it's like to have your appearance consume your mind day in and day out. I think all the women I've compared myself to over the years are dealing with the same thing. Maybe when I was comparing myself to the girl that had the body type I wanted and the face I'd love to have she was also dealing with the same battles of her own. The only person we should be comparing ourselves to is the previous version of ourselves and how much we've grown or will continue to grow. We don't know what others are dealing with at the end of the day. And just because someone looks like you want to look doesn't mean they're better than you in any way shape or form. You don't need to be pretty like somebody else you need to be pretty like you. Cause nothing compares to that. If there's anyone else that I know who is still battling with what feels like a never ending hell of not loving yourself.. Here's some tips I've learned along the way that really help me.

- Try to stop mirror checking. I say try, because I still do now and it's a work in progress. When you find yourself doing it, create some distractions. Think about other things you have to do. I guarantee your washing basket needs sorting out right now. I can guarantee something in your room or anywhere else needs tidying and fixing. Go and sort it. We can't change our bodies in an instant, but we can sort out those mundane tasks we keep putting off and it's way more fulfilling when you do one of those tasks. Trust me I have plenty...

- The next time you go outside, look around at people. Is anyone really focusing on you? Probably not. They're probably focused on themselves. Or their dog if they're out walking them (I'm also trying to focus less on myself and the cute dogs I get to see when I'm out). Another thing.. Acknowledge what you're doing in that moment. We get to use our legs, our legs are allowing us to walk and see daylight. Not everyone is that lucky as I mentioned before. Okay maybe my legs weren't as skinny as they used to be but seriously who cares. There are so many other things I can be focusing on right now and you can too.

- Again another work in progress but seriously I'm working on it and it's getting better. When people compliment you, stop trying to find reasons on why they're wrong. Because if they turned around one day and told you everything you say to yourself on a daily basis it would break your heart. Trust me it would. But the people who love you don't think those things and they never will. Because if you asked them what they like about you the most your appearance won't be one of them. Maybe your partner will say something jokey and sweet about it. But trust me, it's not what they love about you the most. Other things are far more important. And they probably love you because you make their life so much more bearable in some form. We all have our own problems. Think about how much you add to that person's life when they're facing struggles of their own. I guarantee, you will be able to find at least one thing.

- No food is a bad food. We can all have too much of something but that goes for every kind of food. And exercise is amazing for our mental health but it doesn't mean we have to over indulge in it just because we ate 'bad' for a few days and now we feel guilty. Be kind to yourself in those moments. Once again it's another work in progress for me too. I pretty much eat whatever I want when I want now. But there's still that voice in my head. They're a bit annoying at this point I don't know whether I should give her a name.. Maybe Ursula cause she was my least favourite Disney villian. Ursula just needs to piss off sometimes. I went through years of restricting myself and I don't wanna do it anymore.

- Let people take pictures of you. I know. Its terrifying. I still hate it now. But one day all people will have of you is a memory and that picture you hate of yourself so much might be their favourite. In this day and age all we ever get exposed to is picture perfect filtered people who probably shaved off half of their thigh with some editing programme like face tune or whatever it's called. Then someone takes a normal picture of us and we zoom in on it and start criticising ourselves from our face all the way down to our toes. We start asking people to put a filter on us before they take the picture because anything is better than being confronted with our real selves. I just don't wanna live in a world like that anymore. I'm still guilty of doing it myself from time to time, but the less people do it the better. I'd love to start being more of an advocate for that.

When you put your phone down and get into the real world and it's something I've started making more of a cautious effort to do lately, everyone just looks normal!! Everyone has textured skin, everyone's got pores, people have oil, people have spots, people have dry skin. Maybe some are better at hiding it than others. But it's just skin. Thats literally it. Social media has warped our brains into thinking we're not good enough cause we don't look like the person who's completely cellulite, pore and acne free in their gym gear living their best life. But in all honesty, they probably don't look like that either. I'm not saying people can't, but the tiniest bit of editing can go into a photo and we think it's realistic. And they're probably insecure about something as well. Don't compare yourself to images that aren't real life. I know it's hard. Once again I still do it myself. But we can make a cautious effort to realise when we're doing these things and implement little changes on how to stop.

If you got this far and read all of this, then thank you. It means the world. I hope I was able to maybe get you to think about life in a different way and maybe.. Just maybe more positively. If not then thank you for reading anyway! I hope we can all stop being so unkind to ourselves one day. 💚

[yourboyfriendaizawa]

So I was suffering from a splitting headache but couldn't sleep. Then I found your reader story. Then I scrolled down your ENTIRE blog. And I went from pained scowl to helpless beaming and I'm so grateful??? Holy shit I love your soft Aizawa. My first reaction to him was confused howls of laughter and now I LOVE him. Amazing. This is stupid long sorry but lastly, can I request soft lover Shouta just taking care of his poor sick bby? It can be a headache or actual fever I'd really appreciate it ❤

You had known last night before you went to bed that the ache you felt deep in your bones was different that the ache of muscles that came from a long day of working, but as per usual you had another busy day ahead of you the next day and didn’t have the time to even consider the possibility of falling ill, so you’d simply taken a hot shower and gone to bed early and fallen into a deep sleep almost instantly. You hadn’t even woken up when Shouta had slipped in bed behind you several hours later.

When you did finally wake up the next morning though, you knew instantly that what you’d tried to brush off last night as something small and manageable was going to be much worse; on top of the weak ache that had started the night before had settled into your bones and made a home there; your skin was clammy and hot and yet you felt exceptionally cold despite the warmth of your heavy blankets and your boyfriends arms wrapped around you; your head was pounding so hard it was difficult to think and a fire was lit in the back of your throat any time you made the move to inhale or swallow.

With a tremendous amount of effort, you managed to turn in your boyfriend’s arms to face him. “Shouta.” You croaked, wincing at both the sound and the way the word felt in your throat. “Shouta.”

Shouta’s face scrunched up just a bit as it always did when he was woken up from a deep sleep, before he cracked an eye open to look at you. “Hm?”

“Shouta, I don’t feel well.” You said, your voice still quiet despite the effort you put in to making it come out.

He regarded you silently for a second, then removed one arm from where it rested on your waist, bringing his hand up to rest atop your clammy forehead. “You’re sick.” He said, “I think you have a fever.”

You closed your eyes and let out a whine. “I can’t be sick. I have work to do.”

The hand that had lain across your forehead curled into a loose fist which Shouta then lightly rapped it against your temple. It didn’t hurt, but you could tell it was meant as a form of reprimand. “You couldn’t get anything done if you tried right now. You’re staying in bed and getting some rest.” He said firmly.

You began to pout, but didn’t try to argue– both because you didn’t have the energy to do so and because you knew he was right. Regardless, Shouta disentangled himself completely and moved to get out of bed, stopping briefly to throw a glance back at you.

“Stay put.” He ordered.

“Where are you going?” You asked, but he was already gone down the hall. You let out an annoyed huff, but you dutifully laid back against the pillow regardless, drawing the covers up close and trying your best to think of anything but the pounding in your head.

—

When Shouta stepped back into the bedroom some time later, he wasn’t entirely surprised to see you had fallen back to sleep. When he’d opened his eyes that morning it only took a moment of looking at your flushed face and glazed eyes to tell that you were very ill. He’d felt the heat rolling off of your body even before he’d pressed a hand to your forehead.

He placed the tray in his hands on the side table before sitting down on the edge of the bed hand moving to brush a strand of sweat-damp hair out of your face, then gently cupped your cheek. Your eyes fluttered open in response, a weak groan fighting its way from your throat.

“Hey,” he said quietly as your eyes finally came up to meet his, “I made you some oatmeal and brought you some juice. You should eat something before you take any medicine.” You nuzzled your face into his hand and threw him a small grateful smile, though your eyelids began to droop again almost immediately. To keep you awake, Shouta tapped your cheek lightly with his thumb. “Eat now– you can go back to sleep afterwards, I promise.”

He moved some pillows behind you to help prop you up as you pulled yourself into a sitting position, then handed you the bowl of oatmeal he’d brought in. You took it from him and began dutifully spooning it into your mouth despite clearly not wanting to eat anything at the moment. In the meantime, Shouta turned to the nightstand and grabbed the bottle of Nyquil he’d brought in, pouring out a dose and replacing the cap while you ate, though when he turned back around he could see you eyeing him with a frown.

“I hate that stuff.” You rasped.

“So do I.” He replied, handing the small cup over to you. You took it, but were clearly reluctant. “It’s a good thing I’m not the one who’s sick.” He almost let out a chuckle at the returning glare he received. You weren’t particularly threatening to begin with, but with your sickly form currently huddled under a mountain of blankets and sporting ridiculous bed hair you looked like a kitten playing at being a tiger. He refrained though, if only to keep you from refusing to take the medication out of spite.

Luckily, you didn’t attempted to argue any further, instead taking a deep breath and throwing the viscous green liquid back like a particularly foul shot of tequila, even pulling a similar face after you had swallowed. After handing both the medicine cup and bowl of oatmeal (half eaten) back to him, you promptly flopped back into the pillows as though all of your energy had left you in one fell swoop.

Shouta grabbed the tray with the used dishes and brought it back to the kitchen, placing them in the sink and running water of them to let them soak. He’d clean them later on, he reasoned as he made his way back to the bedroom, rounding the bed and slipping under the covers beside you.

“What are you doing?” You asked as one of his arms draped itself over your waist, “You’re going to get sick too if you get close like that.”

“We were already in bed together all night. I’m already contaminated.” He said, making no move to distance himself.

You would have rolled your eyes at him, if you had been capable of movement at all, but everything was feeling significantly heavier now, including your eyelids. Instead, you mumbled, “I won’t take care of you when you start getting feverish.”

“You will.” Shouta replied confidently. He was right, of course.

It was silent for a few moments longer as you began to drift off to sleep, but before you let yourself fall into complete unconsciousness you remembered to say “Thank you for taking care of me.” Shouta most likely replied, but whatever he said you were too far gone too hear.

Maybe he’d tell you again whenever you woke up.