#I'm so many years late to this party but I've just never really talked about this before

[russellsppttemplates]

I'll never give up on you (Franco Colapinto)

You think your age is an obstacle, but Franco is set on proving you otherwise

Note: english is not my first language. It's the big doe eyes, the curly hair and the fact that he's very funny, isn't it? It's a very crappy situation for everyone how they got here, everyone recognises that. This is also the first time I'm writing for him 🤍 I always feel and know I have to put this - for those who are here and have stayed, thank you for being so patient and for staying - I hope this is good enough ✨️

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm not taking requests right now, so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to send them in but know that I don't know when I'll be able to get to them!

my masterlist

Cw: reader is slightly older than Franco (three years), alludes to previous bad relationships, alcohol consumption, relationship insecurity, reader gets accidentally hurt

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog @hiireadstuff @c-losur3 @sltwins

"You look gorgeous, Y/N! I love love love this!", Olivia squealed, clapping her hands when she got to your bedroom.

"It's nothing special", you blushed at her compliments.

"It will catch some eyes, you will catch some eyes!", she smiled, "can you help me with my dress, please?", she turned around so you could zip her up.

You and your bestfriend Olivia shared an apartment in university, and once you entered into the job market, you quickly realised that it would be best to keep the same living situation, knowing you'd save some money in a beginner salary and you both felt comfortable about eachother. Her boyfriend Mark had just got a work promotion and he wanted to celebrate it with his friends, so you had been invited.

"Who else is going to be there?", you mused as you packed the essentials on your small purse.

"Some guys from the new department he's in now, Luke - the one we met a couple of weeks ago at the shops -", she began listing the names she recalled, "Amber, and Franco, I think - he doesn't have a race this week", Olivia said.

"Oh, okay", you smiled.

Franco Colapinto knew Mark from one of the teams he had driven for, and despite his career, he was an incredibly down to earth guy. You had met him in a few other occasions and he was funny, kind, always up for a challenge and not easy to persuade out of things. "Things" including flirting with you. At first, you thought it was just his nature and posture towards new people, but after realising he only acted like that towards you, and the fact that he kept making advances and going as far as talking to Olivia about it, you knew it was something else.

"You still haven't changed your mind about him? He's such a good match for you, Y/N/N", Olivia pouted.

The premise was simple - Franco was younger than you, and as much as he seemed interested, it would never lead to anything good. He was young, aspiring an amazing career you were sure he would achieve, and frankly, you couldn't see you in there. He would like to party all out, not have responsibilities and certainly not have to date someone older than him. And this was just at the top of your head - if you let your insecurities really work you up, there were many other reasons.

"We are not! If we did date, it wouldn't last long and I'm not up for that - I've learned my lesson", you tsked.

"You know he's very into you, I'm not sure you can get him to back down", Olivia advised, "I get that you have your walls, but maybe you could give him a chance?".

"He'll probably find someone else, if he hasn't already - now let's go!", you pulled her with you, not wanting to arrive late.

Once you were inside, you quickly spotted the group, greeting everyone and ordering some drinks.

"You're sure you don't want anything else?", Mark wondered.

"I don't feel like drinking anything strong today, but I'll toast to your promotion - congratulations again!", you hugged him.

"Careful, everyone!", you heard the argentinian accent call out, getting you to make room on the table so the bartender could set the tray with all the drinks, "Hello, Y/N, how are you?".

Turning to face Franco, you were instantly met with his bright smile, shiny eyes and wavy hair perfectly tousled, "Hi, I've been good, and you?".

"Even better now that you're here", he winked, "you look amazing by the way, that colour looks beautiful on you", he complimented.

Hoping the dim lighting hid your blushing cheeks you nodded, taking the coaster to our your drink on before looking at him, "thanks, it's not new or anything", you brushed him off.

The night was on a good roll until you came back from freshening up in the bathroom - just as you were about to sit on the high stool, a guy pushed his friend in a playful manner, only for him to accidentally hit you and making you hit your knee on the piece of furniture.

"Fuck", you mumbled, bracing yourself against the table as the sharp pain climbed up your leg no matter how much your hand tried to soothe it.

Before you could process the whole thing, a large hand was placed low on your back, "are you okay, Y/N? What happened?".

"It was us, I'm so sorry", one of the guys apologised as he carried his friend to their table, "do you want me to get something? Again, I'm so sorry".

"It's fine, I've got her", Franco dismissed them before looking at you again, "are you okay?", he asked worriedly.

"Of course", you attempted to speak firmly even though you were sure your face said it all. Your mother always told you you weren't a great liar.

Franco didn't seem to be convinced either, and ignoring your words, he bent down to check your knee, "you should sit so it doesn't swell up, and ice it too", he stated, tapping his shoulders for you to support your weight in them and help hoist you up on the stool.

"I'll go get some ice", Olivia offered.

As she excused herself, Franco gingerly touched your knee, fearing that he would hurt you even more, "is this fine?".

"It's not terrible, but it's hurting, like, it's a pulsation", you winced as he squeezed.

"I'm sorry, Y/N", Franco apologised, "just needed to check that it's not broken".

"You don't need to stay here, Olivia is coming back already", you added, watching the rest of the guys back on the pool table after you assured you were fine all things considered.

"You're the only one I care about, the rest can wait", Franco spoke.

"Look at that group over there", you pointed with your eyes, "wouldn't you prefer to hang out with them?".

The balloons let you know it was one of the girl's 20th birthday, and judging by the way they were looking in your direction, they noticed you too. Or Franco, you assumed.

"I've told you, I don't care about them, now where is the ice?", he muttered, looking around in hopes of spotting your friend in the darkened room.

"She's coming back", you pointed out.

The ice pack seemed to help relieve the pain and perhaps help with the bruising you were sure was going to take over your knee, "Franco, you can go be with the guys, I'll be fine", you reassured him again, "or be with the girls over there, they're very keen on you", you nudged.

Franco looked up at you, his gaze intense and serious, "those girls don't interest me", he replied, "you're the only one I care about".

There it was again.

"Don't say that", you tried to push it away before it dwelled on, "they're all very pretty, your age I'm sure".

Franco smiled softly as his eyes remained fixated on you, "who I pay attention to is you, you're the one I've always paid attention to", he spoke, not caring about the fact that Olivia was right there as she seemed distracted, "I don't care about their age or what they do. They're not you, and I want to be with you, so I'll stay here with you", he stated.

You heart took a lep, and even though you wished you could say something rational, something that made sense, the way he was looking into your eyes didn't let you. There was honesty and sincerity that never seemed to fail and that you could never ignore.

"Let me help you", Franco spoke softly, "right now, you're the only thing worrying me".

Hesitating, you allowed him to adjust the ice pack and keep talking to you about random stuff to take your mind away from the state of your knee, and for the first time in a while, it felt good to let someone else take care of you.

.

"Do you really think that we won't workout because of our age difference?", Franco spoke.

Mark and Olivia went to get coffee for all of you and left you and Franco on the picnic blanket to save the spot and keep your belongings safe. The plan for the afternoon was to enjoy the sun outside and while you were sure your bestfriend had something to do with this whole arrangement, you decided to let it slip and focus on relaxing for the afternoon.

"What?", you mused.

"You always point out that you're older than me, and whenever I make any advances, which I assume you're not too blind about, you never say yes, but don't say no either", he offered, "is it an obstacle?".

"We're good, aren't we?", you spoke.

"We could be better", Franco spoke and he supported his torso on his hands on his sides, "do you know how much I care about you?".

"We're friends", you replied.

"And you're telling me we couldn't be more?", Franco wondered.

"You have so many things to do still, I can't imagine you'd want to be tied to a 24 year old with a job and mundane responsibilities", you chuckled.

"Is that what it is? Do you really think our age difference is an obstacle?", he spoke softly.

"I can't say with such certainty", you mumbled.

"Can I keep on showing you that it isn't?", Franco spoke.

"I'm very stubborn", you recalled, "and I don't want you to waste your time".

"I'm not going to pressure you, but I'm not going to stop trying to show you how much you mean to me - you're very important in my life, Y/N".

.

"Did you salt the water already?", Franco asked as he grabbed the pasta from the cupboard.

"I did", you told him as you chopped the peppers and onions to add to the sizzling pan.

Franco happened to be around the area for lunch, and after he saw your story about being on your own, playfully claiming that Olivia had abandoned you, he offered to keep you company. Taking Olivia's advice that you should give him a chance and explore what you felt for eachother, you invited him over for lunch.

"Can I ask you something?", Franco asked as he dried his hands on the kitchen towell, throwing it to you so you could do the same.

"Now I'm worried...", you joked, "but sure, go ahead".

The smell of garlic browning in the pan filled the kitchen as you added the rest of the veggies, and you could feel the driver's eyes watching you. Up until now, the atmosphere was light, but there was an unspoken tension at the prospect of the question.

Franco couldn’t take it anymore. He was spending time with you whenever he could, getting closer little by little, but he felt there was a wall. A wall that you held strong, despite your shared glances and conversations that often stretched into the night.

“Why…”, he paused for a second, as if he was choosing his words carefully, “why do you keep pushing me away?”.

You stopped stirring the pan, slowly setting down the spoon aside and turned to face him.

“What are you talking about?”, you asked even though you knew exactly what he meant.

Franco turned fully to face you, his eyes fixed on yours, “You know what I’m talking about,” he said, his voice low, almost a whisper, "I’ve been trying to… get closer to you. You know how I feel about you, but every time I take a step toward you, you back away. There’s something you’re not saying, and I want to understand why, and if it's the age thing...", Franco let it out.

You sighed, fiddling with your hands as you gathered your thoughts.

“It’s not simple", you murmured, looking down at your feet.

"Then explain it to me", Franco's voice was calm, but insistent, "because from my side, it seems very simple. I like you. You like me, or at the very least you don't seem to hate me and…”, he hesitated, leaning a little closer, "whatever is stopping you… I can deal with it, we can talk about it".

Your heart raced as you looked up at him, "the age difference", you began hesitantly, “we’re from different worlds, different lives. You have so many options, people around you who… who are more in your vibe and in the line of life you can have. I’ve been through things you haven’t even begun to experience. What makes you think this… us, would be a good idea?", you mused.

Franco took a deep breath, taking a step closer until he was almost touching you, “What makes me think this would be a good idea? That we may have something to explore here? Have a shot at something good together?”, he repeated, looking directly into your eyes, "because every time I’m with you, I feel like I’m in the right place. Because no matter how much you think age is relevant, for me, what matters is how you make me feel. I’m not interested in anyone else, because you’re the one I want to explore these feelings with".

You fell silent, feeling his words invade her defenses. No one ever stood up for you like this.

“Age?”, he continued, "That doesn’t scare me. What scares me is losing you for a reason that, in the end, has no bearing on how I feel about you. You're so amazing and I don't want to lose that".

You bit your lip, feeling yourself wavering between the logic you had always used as a shield and what Franco was doing to your heart at that moment.

He took another step forward and gently placed his hand over yours, “I just need you to tell me… is it really age, or is it something more? Because if it’s just that… then we have a lot more to gain than we have to lose.”

You looked at his hand on hers and, for the first time, let yourself relax a little, allowing your brain to consider the possibility.

“What if it doesn’t go well?”, you whispered, voice hesitant and full of vulnerability, "I don't want to make a promise I can't keep, and I haven't let myself explore these feelings yet and... I don't want to hurt you, Franco".

"Y/N", he sighed softly with unexpected tenderness, “What if it does?", he smiled, "I'm not going to pressure you, and from the moment you tell me that there's no interest, I'll stop and we can remain friends. What I'm asking you is that you consider it first... take your time, I'll wait".

In a moment of confidence, Franco cupped your cheek and kissed your forehead, and for that moment you allowed your wall to lower a little more.

.

The good thing about the hot temperatures outside was that most people had taken their Saturday plans to the beach or the pool, so there was less traffic on your way home. You parked your car in the building's underground garage and went up the stairs to the floor where the apartment you share with Olivia is. Judging by how late you left work, your best friend must be home given that she has the free afternoon on Saturdays.

Turning the key in the lock and opening the door, you find a completely dark apartment, which is strange considering you left the blinds half open this morning to let in sunlight. As soon as you step inside, closing the front door behind you, you're surprised by lights that suddenly turn on and a chorus of voices singing the Happy Birthday song.

You hadn't felt in the right mood to celebrate your birthday this year, given and the changes from studying and the stress of your new job, so to say you were caught off guard by this surprise was an understatement. You had told Olivia that you could have something special for dinner to celebrate the day, and while she insisted a little more, she ended up dropping the subject. And you thought that meant the had agreed to your simple plans - that morning, she caught you when you were having your breakfast, wished you happy birthday and gave your her gift, a very simple necklace with a medal with your initial in it, and didn't make any more fuss.

You definitely didn't expect her to be preparing a surprise like this for you.

Besides Olivia and Mark, Franco is the first person you see in the living room of your apartment - which makes you feel a little bad about yourself considering you hadn't even told him that today was your birthday. Besides the three of them, Maria and Julia, your two closest friends from school, were also present, as well as Pedro, one of your best friends from high school that moved to another city, and as it turns out, came all the way to your party.

When the chanting ends, Olivia approaches you with the cake so that you can blow out the candles, everyone's attention still on you. You know you should say something, but right now, you were completely surprised, and talking under pressure was never your strongest suit.

"Thank you everyone!", is all you can say at first, earning laughs from your friends.

You rolled up the blinds, as they had been down so the surprise had full effect and opened the windows, allowing the air to circulate as everyone gathered in the living room, picking at the foods and drinking on the table you were sure were Olivia's doing for the small celebration.

She is the first one you turn to, tapping her shoulder softly.

"I know... I know you said you weren't in the mood to celebrate, but I thought that this is actually what you need - being with the people that adore you and care about you", Olivia goes first before you can utter out a word, "so, please, just enjoy this, okay?".

"Thank you, Liv", you smiled as you pulled her into a hug, "I can't believe that you went through all this trouble".

"It wasn't too much trouble, and Franco helped a lot", she answered, "the guy didn't even know what day your birthday was, Y/N... That's cruel!", she jokes, to which you roll your eyes.

"I probably forgot about that detail", you answer with a giggle, "thanks again".

"Stop being annoying and enjoy it", your best friend says, joining her boyfriend Mark's and Pedro's conversation.

You take the opportunity to greet Mark and then Pedro, who you haven't seen in person for a long time, "I can't believe you came all this way for this!", you exclaim.

"Of course I came! Olivia told me all the news and not only could I not miss your birthday, but I couldn't not come at a time like this", Pedro explains, "besides, how long has it been since we've been together in person?".

"Too long", you reply with a smile on your lips.

"Exactly! We need to catch up!", your friend exclaims, earning your agreement, "but go greet the rest of your guests first and we'll talk more later", he squeezed your shoulder.

You approach Maria and Julia, hugging them both tight. Although you finished your master's degree as they finished their undergraduate just over a year ago, you hadn't seen each other very often since then as work kept you all busy.

"I'm so happy you're here!", you smile, feeling genuinely happy at having all your people together in one room.

"We couldn't miss it. Besides, we've been missing you so much - you were truly a mother to us and I miss being coddled by you -, and we've already noticed that there's news you haven't been telling us...", Julia comments, wiggling her eyebrows and sharing a suggestive smile with Maria.

"What are you talking about?", you wondered with a quirked brow.

"You don't know? I'll tell you then! About Franco Colapinto!", she snickered, "you didn't tell us you were that close", Maria says.

You're quick to roll your eyes - a common response at her usual antics over the years -, "I told you we were friends", you recall.

"Yes, but we didn't know you were that close!", Julia insists.

"I see your annoying curiosity hasn't ceased", you joked, rolling your eyes again, "Anyway, thanks for being here, I really appreciate it", you joined your hands over your heart before excusing yourself.

Your eyes are quick to search for Franco, but you can't find him in the room. A few seconds later, you spot him returning from the hallway, assuming he had gone to the bathroom or had to take a phone call.

"I should be mad at you for conveniently forgetting to tell me when it was your birthday...", Franco starts, to which you shrug your houlders, trying to put on your best angelic and innocent face.

"I know, I'm sorry... with everything going on, I barely had time to think what month we were on and I wasn't exactly enthusiastic about it to be honest", you explained, "but I must confess I'm happy Olivia arranged this, and I know you helped a lot, so thank you so much, Franco".

"I get, I was just messing with you", he smiles, "and you don't have to thank me for it, you know I'll always do anything to see you happy".

"I know, and that's why I am so grateful", you smiled back.

"Might as well give you the present I got you now", Franco points out, "give me two seconds so I can get it from where Mark told me to put it so it wouldn't be in the way of Olivia's plans and before she started staring at me with her 'I'm going to chop your head off' eyes", he chuckled.

You nodded and waited long enough for Franco to pick up a bag and give it to you, " I racked my brain to decide what I should gift you, because nothing seemed good enough, but I hope you like this".

Undoing the bow keeping the paper bag together, you found a copy of your favourite book with a collectable cover. The intricate detailing of the golden foil complimented the colours beautifully and there was a bookmark inside it, the little tassel falling to the side. Taking it to inspect it closely, you read the delicate lettering Don't lose the sparkle that makes you.. you.

"Wow, Franco", you gasped, completely enamoured by the beauty of it all, "this is spot on, I love it!", you exclaimed, hugging him.

"I'm glad", Franco smiles, jokingly wiping sweat off his forehead and making you laugh.

"Have you met my friends?", you wondered.

"Yes, Olivia did all the introductions", the driver answers.

"Good, let's find out what they're going on about", you suggested, setting the present back in a safe place and pulling Franco with you to join the rest of the group.

You spend the rest of the afternoon and early evening chatting, while you eat and drink the things that Franco and Olivia kindly prepared, and playing some board games. At the end of it, you end up having a really good time, in a way that you haven't in a while, feeling really grateful that Olivia had prepared this surprise. Without knowing it, this was exactly what you needed: your friends and some good moments of relaxation.

"Are you leaving already?", you ask Pedro when the young engineer announces his departure.

"I still have to drive back, Y/N, remember?", he reminds you, earning a nod, "but don't worry your heart too much, I'll keep bothering you with messages and calls and stuff... You won't get rid of me that easily".

"Fine by me!", you smiled at him, "thanks for coming, truly!".

"You have nothing to thank me for. I'll be here any time if you need me - I'm a phone call away", he reminds you, "Are you okay?".

"Of course", you smiled, "let me know when you get home, okay?".

"I will. I had a great time meeting you guys today", Pedro waves at everyone, "until next time!", before leaving the apartment.

At around 10pm, Maria and Julia also announce that they need to leave since they would have an early morning. You bid them goodbye to your friends with the promise of a lunch whenever you could find the time to catch up.

"Don't tell me you're chickening out now and going home too?", a slightly tipsy Olivia teases Franco as he got up from the his spot in the sofa.

"I've already told you that I have the day off tomorrow, my friend", Franco teased her back, getting you and Mark to laugh.

"Let's play another round then", Mark suggested, "since there's only four of us now, we can split into two teams and play Party & Co.".

"This is a recipe for disaster if I have ever seen one", you muttered, "Olivia is a terrible loser and you are a racing driver".

"That's why you should want to have me on your team, I'm used to competing", Franco argued in his favor.

"Strong point, argument accepted. Let's do it!", you declared.

During the game, Olivia ends up making up consequences for those who make mistakes, making everyone drink a few sips of their drinks and even Franco joins in with these punishments, arguing that today is an exceptional day to his usual regime.

By the end of the first game, it's clear that you're all drunk, so you make the responsible and sensible decision not to play anymore. Mark and Olivia end up retiring to the room, leaving you with Franco in the living room.

"I hope they don't make too much noise", you point out as you adjust your position on the sofa so that you're facing Franco, making him burst out laughing at your words, "What?! I'm not telling any lies! Have you imagined how uncomfortable it would be for us to be here and hear them having a baby making practice session?".

"You're right, you're right. I hope they don't make much noise", Franco repeats your words and, this time, you both laugh, "So... did you and Pedro date in high school?".

"Did he tell you that?", you ask, unable to contain your giggles.

"Yes, why? Is it a lie?", Franco asks.

"Half, half", you answered with a gesture.

"How is something half half a lie? It's either the truth or a lie", Franco states.

"I had a crush on Pedro, I tried my luck, but nothing ever happened between us", you admitted, deliberately pausing briefly before continuing, "Because Pedro is gay, Franco, and he was clearly making fun of you", you finally let out a laugh that's been bubbling up since he first asked you.

"Are you serious?", Franco mused.

"Yes. Apparently, he found a weak spot in you and decided to exploit it", you answered amused by the situation that must've enrolled when you weren't home yet.

"A weak spot? Nah... We were talking and he just dropped it, I have no idea why", Franco said, shrugging his shoulders.

"What were you talking about?", you wondered.

"Considering we were at your birthday party... We were talking about you", the brown-haired man answers.

"Please continue", you encouraged.

"Curiosity killed the cat, Y/N Y/L/N", Franco declared, but your glare was enough for him to keep going, "He asked me how we met and I told him. And then he told me about you. And he clearly told me a lie".

"Does it make you feel relieved that it's a lie?", you spoke before thinking properly about it. The sudden courage is unusual for you, but you're playing with all your cards on the table.

"I don't know what you're getting at, Y/N", the driver changes the subject, which makes you roll your eyes.

"I know you undertand it, stop acting like you don't. It's a yes or no question - are you relieved or not?!", you insist.

"Honestly? It doesn't do much. If it were true, it would be something from your past, not your present. We both have a past", Franco responds in a somewhat evasive manner.

"But it could be my present again, especially since he was here today", you decided to insist, wanting to understand how far you could push him.

You weren't sure about the game you were playing, and you couldn't quite say that you were thinking clearly, but this feeling of dominance and being in control was enjoyable. Understanding that this was making Franco uncomfortable also made you realize that he wasn't so sure about talking about what he felt for you. The part of you that wants to understand what he really feels for you is ignited, and you can't tame it down.

After the conversation you had, Franco didn't make any advances and never showed that he wanted more than a friendship, which, in a way, left you at ease, but also perhaps a little disappointed. Had he realised that you weren't worth it?

"Honestly, I don't know what you're getting at...", Franco pretends not to understand again, which makes you sigh loudly, "What's wrong?".

"What I'm trying to understand is if what he said to you bothered you or not. And if so, why. But clearly you are not ready to admit it", you state.

"You're playing a dangerous game, Y/N... You're trying to cross a very complicated line", he warns.

"Why?", you keep going.

"Because you asked for time and space and I gave it to you. And now you're trying to cross a line that I've been trying not to cross, because I'm trying to respect your wishes", Franco answers, this time sincerely.

"That's true, I asked you for time and space and you gave it to me. And I appreciate it", you begin, "but... I know I'm getting closer to that line, maybe I'm even playing a dangerous game too, but I'm doing it consciously".

"What if you're not ready for my honest answers?", Franco argues.

"Well, that's a me problem, isn't it?", you shrugged your shoulders, "can I ask my questions and get back honest answers?", and Franco's answer comes out in form of an unhappy sigh followed by a nod of agreement, "did what Pedro told you bother you? Did it bother you to think that we had dated and that he was back here?".

"Like I told you, we both have a past", Franco avoids the question. Tries to, anyway.

"Honest answers, Franco!", you exclaimed, pleading in exasperation, "of course we have a past, but I'm not going to give the past a shot and I think you won't do again what you did before! With Pedro, it would be different, because if we had dated and he was here, that would mean we had a good relationship. So, I'm going to repeat the question again, and I want you to give me an honest answer - did it bother you or not?".

"It bothered me!", Franco suddenly exclaim, "do you want honest? Here it goes! Yes, it bothered me exactly because of what you just said. Even if, by some act of the devil, your other boyfriend came back into your life, I know for a fact that he would never have another chance with you. However, if you had dated Pedro and if he was here today, it meant that he had a chance with you. And if he had a chance with you, then he was someone I would have to look at as competition".

"And now that you know that there never was and there never could be anything between me and Pedro?", you ask him.

"It makes me feel a little less worried. It means that I still have time to try to continue to mend the damage that others have caused, it means that I can still work to show you how much you mean to me and how high I hold you in my life", Franco replies in a calm and honest tone, which surprises you.

Faced with his words, this time, you are the one who doesn't know what to say. You did ask for honesty and there it was.

"You wanted honest answers...", Franco argues, as if he could guess what was on your mind. Lately, it seemed like he could do it effortlessly.

"I know, I'm not complaining", you admitted, "Does that mean that what you feel for me goes beyond friendship?", you ask directly. You needed to hear it from his mouth.

"What can my answer change in our relationship?", Franco asks, not answering your question.

"Nothing. I won't walk away from you this time, I promise. I just need to know", you clarified.

"Do you really want me to be one hundred percent honest with you?", Franco asks.

"Yes, please", you ask.

"Yes, what I feel for you goes beyond friendship. I tried not to let it be like that, I tried to pretend that I wasn't falling in love with you, but there's no way to control what we feel", he declares honestly without ever stopping to fix his gaze on yours, "Every time I look at you, I see someone with whom I can imagine a future... And I know how hasty this may seem, and I know your reservations about us, but it's simply how I feel. You asked me to be honest and I'm being as honest as I can... But I don't want to lose you, Y/N. In fact, I can't lose you, because, the moment that happens, I think I'll end up losing myself too", Franco stated.

His words leave you completely disarmed, not knowing what to say. Looking at it, you don't think anyone has ever said something like that to you. The words overwhelm you and there doesn't seem to be a right thing to tell him back.

"Can we just forget I said all this?", Franco says, "I don't want things to get awkward between us".

"But I don't want to forget it", you answer quickly, "It was the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to me".

Judging it by Franco's expression, he was also caught off guard by your words, probably because he thought this would change your relationship again and brung unwanted distance between you.

Truth was, you weren't going to run away anymore. You didn't want to, and you couldn't do it.

Yes, you were scared, but you knew you need to move on. The comfort zone can be very good, but no boat was made to stay at the dock and you needed to drop the anchor and launch yourself into the unknown. Besides, you know that, in a few years time, you won't like to look back and regret what you didn't do.

"Can I ask you the question back, then?", Franco tries and you nod, "Is what you feel for me just friendship? Or something more?".

"I don't have an answer as assertive and confident as yours, but I know that I look at you and I don't see you just as a friend. You are very special to me, Franco. You are the person I want to talk to about everything, the good and the bad. You are the person who I know will never judge me, who will always try to understand me and help me. After all, you were the first person I was able to trust one hundred percent", you admit, "and I'm still figuring out how I'm supposed to allow myself to believe in love again after everything that happened, but I really wish you were by my side on this journey... That you would make me believe in love again", you offered.

"I don't like to make promises, Y/N/N, but there's one thing I'm absolutely sure of - I'll do everything in my power to make you believe in love again", Franco says, pulling you into his lap and embracing you in a hug that makes you feel safer than ever.

.

When Franco called you and asked if you could join him in the park, you were quick to let him know you were leaving work and heading to meet him. The past two weeks had been crazy with him travelling to races and you visiting your family, so texting had become the way you found to maintain contact.

As soon as you spot him by the trees, you walk a little faster, hugging him as soon as you are able to, "can I say that I've missed you?", you joked.

"I missed you loads, so I think it's only fair you tell me", he smiled, "Hi, how was your day?", he asked as he squeezed you against him.

"I missed you", you spoke, "and it was good, better now that I'm here".

Lately, your walls had lowered progressively - Franco's reassurance and a constant defiance of your thoughts had helped you break down the worries you had. Olivia pointed it out, everyone noticed how much happier you were, and even Franco could sense you were feeling more comfortable.

You end up sitting so close to each other that your knees touch and you rest your arm on Franco's and let your head fall on his shoulder, closing your eyes for a few seconds and just inhaling his scent.

"I...", Franco begins but soon stops before saying anything else.

"What is it?", you ask, raising your head to look at him.

"Nothing, nevermind", he shrugs.

"I don't like it when people say that to me. If you were going to say something, don't tell me to forget about it", you state firmly, "Whatever you were going to say, you can say it. Always. I will never judge anything you tell me. I know you, okay, Franco?".

"Yes, but...", he sighs, "I think I'm missing the courage".

"Please, just say it!", you exclaim, starting to get anxious and worried about his hesitation, "Is it something serious? Is there a problem?".

"No, nothing like that!", he clarified.

"Okay, then...", you encouraged.

"It's about a conversation I had with my mother", he says and, although you don't say a word, your expression lets him know he can continue, "about you".

"About me?", you ask curiously.

"She doesn't know it's you, but... It was about us and about what I feel for you", he offers.

At these words, your heart suddenly accelerates, "she told me that life is supposed to be lived and that..", he gulps.

You remain silent, because you don't know if ot what your supposed to answer. There's nervousness and anxiety as you're not sure exactly where this conversation is going to end up at.

"We can't predict the future, we don't know how much time we have", Franco spoke, "what I mean by this is that I've been thinking that, many times, we waste time on things that, perhaps, don't make that much sense. And I think I've been wasting some time in the sense that I've wanted to do things calmly, I've wanted to respect your time and I think I'm the one who's been afraid of taking the next step. I'm too afraid of losing you, but I'm wasting time and we never know when it is too late".

Part of you knows where Franco is going with this, but the other one doesn't fully understand what he's trying to say.

You're nervous, your heart feels like it's beating out of control and there's a lump in your throat. Despite not crying often, you feel the tears right at the back of your eyes, ready to fall at any moment.

"I'm not particularly good with words, Y/N, but what I'm trying to tell you is that I'm madly in love with you. Damn, I'm trying to tell you that I love you. And I know you're scared and I'm scared, because there have been bad experiences, and because what we have is very special and neither of us wants to ruin it. But I think we're wasting time apart when we could make the most of this time together", Franco continues, "I believe we were very lucky to have found each other when we did. I think we had the perfect timing. And every time I look at you, all I can think about is how lucky I am to have found you. I love you, Y/N, and I want to be with you one hundred percent", the brown-haired man stops his speech as if to catch his breath, and then concludes, "That is if you want to be with me, obviously".

What can you say to someone who declares themselves to you in this way? What do you say to someone who has told you everything? How can you say something that comes even close to what you just heard?

"Did I misunderstand everything and after all you don't like me the same way, is that it?", Franco asks, "it's just, your texts and the way you talk, feels like you do".

The insecurity in his voice is the trigger you need for the words to simply come out of your mouth without having to think much about them, "No, it's nothing like that!", you exclaim, "It's just that it's hard for me to say anything after everything you said. I don't want you to doubt for even a second what I feel for you, Franco. I know I haven't been the best person to express my feelings, because when we say things out loud, they become real. And I was so afraid to admit the truth, so much so that I preferred not to say it. But you're right. Life changes in the blink of an eye and it doesn't make sense to keep leaving things unsaid or undone and wasting time. I'm in love with you, Franco. A part of me has wished, since the moment you made an effort for me, that I could have someone like that by my side, willing to protect me, take care of me and be there for me. I have no doubt that my life has changed for the better because you came into it. And I should have told you all this sooner, because you deserve to hear all this and much more. You are an extraordinary person and you deserve to be happy. And I want to be able to make you happy", you stop for a few seconds, taking a deep breath and gathering all the courage in the world to say the dreaded words out loud, "I love you and there is nothing I want more in this world than to be with you and be your girlfriend".

Despite all the nervousness you felt when expressing your feelings, the relief that follows leaves you feeling like a weight was lifted off your shoulder. Suddenly, you understand that fear paralyzes people and prevents them from moving forward.

The fear of not being enough for Franco, that he couldn't possibly have a girlfriend older than him and the fear that he would suffer from that was what was holding you back, stopping you from being happy. Now that you got that off your chest, that you said what you feel out loud, you realise you're ready to be happy again with someone else.

The smile that appears on Franco's lips makes your day. He wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you towards him, pressing your lips together.

You close your eyes and savour every second of the moment: from the way his hand is resting on your waist, while the other caresses your cheek, to the way his lips slide over your and your tongues touch.

When you break the kiss, needing to breathe, you keep your eyes closed for a fraction of a second, enjoying the sensation his lips left on yours.

"I have something to ask of you", you say, opening your eyes.

Franco's arm continues wrapped around you and you remain very close to him without moving, appreciating the closeness.

"Whatever you want", Franco says.

"Don't give up on me. Whenever I try to push you away, pull me to you. Whenever I yell at you because I'm angry, hug me. If I don't answer your texts or calls, look for me. When I feel too insecure, remind me that I'm the only one and how lucky I am to have you. If I'm giving up on us, kiss me and remind me why I shouldn't give up. And I know this is asking too much, but I know you love me enough to do this, to stay with me. I promise to do the same with you, to never give up", you declare.

"I promise, mi amor. I'll never give up on you, not even if you ask me to", Franco smiles as you cup his cheek, bringing your faces closer once again to kiss him.

[dailyadventureprompts]

Monsters Reimagined: Yeenoghu, Demon Lord of Insatiable Hunger

It's been some years since I did my overhaul on the lore of the gnolls and how they embody the weird de/humanization that goes on with various monsters over d&d's history. Ever since I've had more than a few folks write in asking about how I would handle the default Gnoll God Yeenoghu, who exists in a similar state of "Kill everything that ever existed" to Orcus and a good portion of the game's other late game threats, thematically flat and not really useful for building stories around.

For a while I've avoided doing this post because I thought it might skew a little too close to my personal philosophy, and risk going from simply being influenced by my views to an outright soapbox. I personally hold that despite being part of our nature hunger is the source of the majority of human cruelty, and if society and cooperation are the tools we developed to best fight against the threat of famine, it is fear of that famine that allows the powerful to control society and secure their positions of privilege.

I've also dealt with disordered eating in a prior period of my life, alternating between neglecting my body's needs and punishing myself for needing in the first place. I'm well acquainted with hunger and the hollowing effect it can have, though I'd never claim to know it so well as someone who went hungry by anything other than choice and self hatred.

Learning to love food again saved saved my life. The joy of eating, of feeling whole and nourished, yes, but there was also the joy of making: of experimenting, improving, providing, being connected to a great tradition of cultivation which has guided our entire species.

If I was going to talk about an evil god of hunger, I was going to have to touch on all of that, and now that it's out in the open I can continue with a more thematic and narrative discussion on the beast of butchery below the cut.

What's wrong: Going by the default lore, there's not much that really separates Yeenoghu from any other chaotic evil mega-boss. He wants to kill everything in vicious ways, and encourages his followers to do the same. He's there so that the evil clerics can have someone to pray to because the objectively good gods are on the party's side and wouldn't help a bunch of cannibalistic slavers.

This is boring, we've done this song and dance before, and the only reason that there are so many demon lords/evil gods/archdevils like this is because the bioessentialism baked into the older editions of the game's lore was also a theological essentialism, and that every group had to have their own gods which perfectly embodied their ethos and there was no crossover whatsoever, themes be damned.

Normally I'd do a whole section about "what can be salvaged" from an old concept, but we're scraping the bottom of the barrel right from the inset. Likewise my trick of combining multiple bits of underwritten d&d mythology to make a sturdier concept isn't going to work as most of d&d's other gods of hunger or famine are similar levels of paper thin.

How do we fix it: I want Yeenoghu to be the opposite of the path I found myself on, a hunger so great and so painful that it percludes happiness, cooperation, or even rational thought. Hunger not as a sumptuous hedonistic gluttony but a hollowing emptiness that compels violence and desperation. More than just psychopathic slaughter and gore, it is becalmed sailors drinking seawater to quench their thirst, the urban poor mixing sawdust and plaster into their food because their wages are not enough to afford grain.

This is where we get the idea of Yeenoghu as an enemy of society, not because violence is antithical to society ( I think we've learned by now how structured violence can really be) but because society fundamentally breaks down when it can't take care of the people who provide its foundations. Contrast the Beast of Butchery with one of my other favourite villainous famine spirits: Caracalla the grim trader, who embodies scarcity as a form of profit and control in to Yeenoghu's scarcity as suffering.

Into this we can also add the idea of the hungry dead, ghouls yes but also vampires, anything cursed with an eternal existence and appetites it no longer has the ability to sate. A large number of cultures across the world share the idea that the dead cannot rest while they are starving, which is why we leave offerings of food by their graves or pour out a glass to the ones we lost along the way.

On that topic, there's also a scrap of lore involving Doresain god of ghouls, who has been depicted as an on and off servant of Yeenoghu. Since I'm already remaking the mythology, I'd have Doresain act as a sort of saint or herald for the demon lord, the wicked but still partially reasonable entity who can villain monolog before the feral and all consuming demon god shows up.

Summing it all up: Yeenoghu isn't a demon you wittingly worship, it's a demon that claims you, marks you as its mouthpiece and through you seeks to consume more of the world. It gives you just enough strength to keep on living, keep on suffering, keep on filling that hole in your belly and feed it in turn.

The greatest of these mouthpieces is Doresain, an elf of ancient times who's unearthly hungers elevated him to demigod status. Known as the knawbone king, he dwells within a dread domain of the shadowfell, and is sought out only for his ability to intercede with the maw-fiend's rampages.

Signs: Unnaturally persistent hunger pangs, excessive drool and gurgling stomach noises, the growth of extra teeth in the mouth, stomachs splitting open into mouths.

Symbols: An animal with three jaws, a three tailed flail or spiked whip. A crown of knawed bones (Doresain)

Titles: Beast of butchery, the maw fiend, the knawing god

Artist

[tonysbed]

Dead Flowers | LN4

Lando Norris x Curvy!reader

TW! Mention of Bulimia!

Summary: Why would he ever chose you when he can have all these picture perfect girls?

warnings: bulimia, crying, angst, bit of miscommunication, friends to lovers

a/n: made the reader curvy. Isn’t really specific mentioned tho

mental health masterlist | main masterlist

Lando Norris sat on the edge of the bed, lacing up his racing shoes. His best friend, watched him from the doorway, her heart swelling with pride and a touch of anxiety. She had been living with Lando for the past year, sharing an apartment that overlooked the shimmering Monaco coastline. Their friendship had blossomed over the years, and now, with her living so close, she was able to support him even more through his racing career.

"Ready for another day in the paddock?" Lando asked, flashing her a bright smile that never failed to make her heart skip a beat.

"Always," She replied, returning his smile with one of her own, though it didn't quite reach her eyes.

They arrived at the track, and the energy of the paddock engulfed them. Lando was immediately swarmed by fans and admirers, many of whom were women vying for his attention. She stood back, watching as they flirted shamelessly with him. A familiar pang of insecurity settled in her chest, gnawing at her confidence.

As the weeks went by, She found it harder and harder to ignore the nagging voice in her head that told her she wasn't good enough. She started skipping meals, telling herself it was just a diet. But soon, it escalated. She would make herself throw up after eating, a secret shame that she hid from everyone, especially Lando.

One evening, after a particularly glamorous party where Lando had been the center of attention, She sat alone on the balcony. The cool night air did little to calm the storm inside her. She was so engrossed in her thoughts that she didn't hear Lando approach.

"Y/n?" Lando's voice was soft, concerned. He took a seat next to her, his presence a comforting weight.

She tried to muster a smile, but it felt like a lie. "Hey, Lando."

"What's going on?" he asked, his eyes searching hers. "You've been so distant lately."

She looked away, unable to meet his gaze. "Nothing, I'm fine."

"Don't lie to me," Lando said gently, placing a hand on her shoulder. "I know you. Something's wrong. Please, talk to me."

“I’m fine Lando. Let it go” She rushed past him, leaving him wondering what went wrong.

The next morning didn’t go down any different. As her door slammed shut, his hands found his face. He groaned in frustration and asked himself what he could do.

An hour later he wanted to talk to you one more time. He walked past the bathroom and freezes in his tracks.

Soft sobbing came from the other side. He gently placed a hand on the handle and twisted the door open.

She sat there in front of the toilet, freshly applied make up now ruined.

“Sweetheart”

His arms wrapped around her. Her face pressed into his chest. He tried to soothe her, which eventually worked.

“You wanna tell me what happened? I won’t be mad or anything else you think I’ll be. I just wanna understand.”

“Pinky promise?” She held out her pinky to him. He chuckled but interlinked their pinky’s.

She pulled out of his arms "I just... I don't feel good enough, Lando. All these girls, they’re so beautiful, and confident, and... perfect. And then there's me."

Lando's expression softened, and he pulled her back into a hug. "Baby, you're more than enough. You're perfect just the way you are."

She buried her face in his shoulder, the tears flowing freely now. "You don't understand. I've been... I've been hurting myself. I hardly eat, and when I do, I make myself throw up. I just want to be good enough for you."

Lando's grip tightened around her, his heart breaking at her confession. "Oh, Baby. You don't need to change anything about yourself. I've loved you for a long time, just the way you are."

She pulled back slightly, looking up at him through tear-streaked cheeks. "You... you love me?"

He nodded, wiping away her tears with his thumb. "Yes, I love you. And it hurts me to see you hurting yourself. Promise me you'll stop. We'll get through this together."

She nodded, a glimmer of hope sparking in her chest. "I promise."

I love lando x best friend!reader fics hehe

[maximoffromanoffs]

You’ll always be my baby

Even now that others class me as an adult, to my family, I'll always be the 'little one". In some situations I hate it. I mean when we're at one of stark's many parties and everyone's acting like it's too late for me to be out and not in bed.. it gets super annoying.

Now don't get me wrong I love them all, so so so much. But they're so protective over me since I'm the 'baby' that it gets annoying sometimes.

I've not been feeling so social lately, after coming in from school I kind of disappear into my room and only leave if I really need to. I just can't be bothered, I can keep putting up a front so I don't want to see anyone. Is that realistic? No. But it's not going to stop me trying.

As soon as I step into the compound I'm headed for my room once again. This time I pass Natasha, Wanda and Steve who are sitting in the living room, and once I walk past I try to force a smile on my face, not entirely sure what it looked like to them, today was particularly tiring. I'm sure my eye bags are very much present and my hairs thrown up into an incredibly messy bun. But I don't really care anymore.

Before I can walk out of the room, someone's hugged me tightly from behind. I only notice who it is when a long strand of red hair falls over. Wanda pulls me back with her until I'm seated between her and Nat with Steve next to Wanda.

I try to get up but then Wanda just pulls me down onto her lap and holds me tightly, resting her head on my shoulder. I keep a straight face, honestly not wanting to show them any emotion, even when she repeatedly kissed my cheek trying to get me to smile, I just can't. She gives up but still keeps tight hold of me asking "what's up, sweet pea?". I don't respond so she pulls me back a little so her cheek can rest against my own, mumbling a "huh" as she sways our bodies.

I try wriggle out of her tight hold, I'm not a baby anymore, I need to prove I'm not a baby anymore. I'm sick of people at school making fun of me for how the rest of the team treat me like I'm incapable and just a stupid child. I'm sick of people commenting on how incompetent I must be.

Wanda tries to calm me down whispering in my ear "woah calm down sweet pea you're okay, it's okay, I've got you, just calm down my love". The way she tries to sway me like you would a baby pushes me over the edge with my anger and I start swinging my arms to get out of her hold.

After only a few seconds though , Nat grabs hold of my arms, and pulls me into her grip instead, where she stands and carries me upstairs to her room, uttering a quiet "don't worry about it, I'll sort it" to Wanda and Steve who she leaves in the living room.

Nat feels so much stronger than Wanda as it's practically impossible to get out of her iron grip she has on me. That doesn't stop me from throwing a fit, genuinely like a two year old, and hitting her back and kicking my legs to try get her to stop carrying me again LIKE A BABY. IM NOT A BABY.

She doesn't even say anything in response, she's simply moves one arm to under my legs to keep them still and does her best to keep my arms from hitting her. In about 10 minutes, which took her way longer to get me upstairs than it should have, we reach her room.

I've actually never been in here, sure she's been in my room a couple of times but I've never come in here.. the others say she's super private about her room. They say she likes her own space to help her feel safe. I calm down thinking about this, just as she lays me down. Nat places the blanket over me as I snuggle into her pillow and inhale her scent, making me feel more comfortable and calm.

After some time of just laying there calming down, I look over to see Nat sat on a sort of rocking chair in the corner of the room. After a couple minutes she notices my gaze is on her and gives me a little smile before asking "you okay now?". I just turn around so I'm facing the wall, not wanting to talk.

I hear her sigh and some shuffling before a weight behind me dips the bed. She gently stroked my back whispering "hmm,  you okay", I shrug this time in response. Then she asks "hey what's up baby?". I used the love that name, lots of the others calls me it too. I am the baby of the group. But now that I'm being made fun of by people at school I don't like it anymore. I suddenly shout at her "I AM NOT A BABY".

I see her jump and her eyes glaze over a little, not expecting the sudden scream from me. Before she starts slowly nodding her head but still looks super confused. "Honey... I know you're not a baby, I um.. well...", hearing her stutter I instantly feel bad, so I turn around to face her and subconsciously place my hand right by hers.

We just sort of stare into each others eyes for a few minutes, in an incredibly intimate moment for the two of us. Then Nat takes a deep breath and explains "so I know everyone else on the team kinda adopted that name for you because I mean you're the little one of the team, so it seemed fitting. I um.. suppose it's come to feel like you're my um daughter... in a way and so it seemed right for me. But I'm not going to call you it anymore, it's clear you don't like it and I was stupid to think that anyway".

I give a little shake of my head and whisper "I just don't want people to think I'm a baby".

N: "Ba.. hon I, we don't think you're a baby.."

Y: "No but they do"

N: "Who does?"

Y: Mutters "people at school"

"Oh sweetheart, people can be horrible for no good reason. I bet those people don't have anyone who treats them like we treat you and so they're jealous of that. Don't let their comments get in the way of you and us. Just talk to us, and let us help you. We all want what's best for you, lovely". She says this while stroking my face, going from my cheeks to my nose and my eyebrows.

My eyes glaze over again at her words and I see she pouts at me, before opening her arms to offer a hug. I don't move feeling guilty, as a tear rolls down my face. She wastes no time reaching forward and pulling me practically onto her lap, holding me tight as my head rests on her shoulder. I cling to the back of her shirt, letting her hold me for a moment.

That's until I gasp, and she kisses my temple asking "what baby?" And I mumble "was so mean to wanda", I feel Nat nod her head, "maybe a little, but she'll understand my love. should we go see her?", I give a subtle nod again, and let out a squeak when Nat just stands up holding me, Instead of putting me down. I hear her chuckle at my reaction, as she stares at me for a moment then whispers "you'll always be my baby", kissing my cheek a couple of times. I blush at her actions, and continue to let her carry me back down to wanda.

Once we get to the living room she puts me down, and I stumble over to wanda with my head down. She looks up from her phone in concern and pulls me to sit in front of her this time, which I note is different to usual because of my reaction before so I start to tear up once again. She also refrains from asking me what's wrong again, so I mutter a quiet "I'm really sorry wanda", before glancing up at her. She frowns cupping my face and shaking her head a little "can I hold you now?", I instantly nod my head, so she pulls me onto her lap again, into the same position as before snuggling her cheek against my own.

Nat comes and kneels in front of me asking "tell you what, shall we have a girls night tonight?", I give an excited nod, making both girls laugh at me as Wanda shifts slightly to press kisses to my cheek, then Nat leans to kiss my other cheek, their actions making me giggle until they eventually stop.

I turn my head looking from Nat to Wanda until I say "thank you both, for everything.. I love you so so much",

Nat replies for the both of them "we love you too, baby, so so so much".

[jolapeno]

the yearly round up

so, i am not someone who tends to toot their own horn a lot, but i thought i could be forgiven since it's my birthday. if there were a party, i'd maybe give a speech, right? so, instead of talking about myself, i thought id talk about my work and some of my fave things I've written this year and a little bit as to why. for this list, i have not included late night texts purely because i gave it a lot of love on my last secret birthday. and equally, as do me yourself comes to a close during this one, i feel it's having such a hot moment in the sun, i didn't want to bore everyone. also because if you ask me anything about dmy i won't shut the fuck up. to ask anything about these just add an 🍊.

anytime javier p x f!reader

best friends who go to a wedding only to realise they're in love? sounds like jo. this story fell out of me upon seeing a moodboard by /wildemaven and god i love them. i think about them so often and it makes me want to write him like this again. just fun, easy. it helped me find my nerve to tackle him again after a break when LNT finished, so it was nice to hang with him again.

in my room javier p x f!reader

this idea lived in my head for so long, it went through so many variations until we landed on this. i loved writing it because i hadn't written him like this, and how closed off they both were was so much fun. not having a resolved ending was tough to, but it was also really nice?

i like the way you frankie m x f!reader

would it even be a list if i don't include this? it's a work that on the surface might just feel like a lot of fun. and it is, for sure. but also this fic really taught me a lot and helped create a new relationship with sex. i won't bore or dwell on sad things, but even with therapy, a solid and healthy relationship, this fic helped heal some lasting wounds with my relationship with sex. all through the eyes of two friends who were just trying not to confess they loved one another. so very jo.

up sky, low high frankie m x f!reader

im not sure why this man makes me write some incredible smut (IMO, ofc) but he does??? this one wouldn't exist without @morallyinept urging me on, because honestly i wouldn't have had the guts without her convincing me. but, god i think about this fic a lot? i write a lot of lovely romance, but the romance in this with the smut? i never EVER thought id find that balance. and i did, have, yay!

be good, be you joel miller x f!reader

never in a million years did i think this would have been so popular. and that's not why it's on this list. it's on this list because i lived with this fic for weeks. every bit of rain the UK we had, i thought of this. anyone who knows me, knows how much i love bill + frank joel, so this was like giving into an idea that i thought would only live in my head. and now, it's there, and I'm not ashamed to say i re-read it a lot.

meet you once, saw you thrice lucien flores x f!reader

who'd have thought this would make this list? not me. but it has, and god. i really tested myself with this one. creating him was days of churning over interviews of other actors, of finding who he is in the centre of fucking nothing. and then pouring my heart into it for lovely @pedgito and god am i grateful that's the moodboard i was given. i was terrified (ali will attest) but now i am so proud of it. i love it, and him. I'm almost terrified now to see the movie and watch this version die and wilt hahaha.

din and the travelling of planets din djarin x f!reader

not a one shot, but a collection, because i spent longer trying to choose than i did dwelling on choosing the rest and writing this post. i never thought id step back into star wars, but i'm so glad i did. din and his girl, seeing different planets together, letting us see the world through her eyes. there's a lot of my writing I'm proud of, but I'm most proud of the lines in this. because i get to describe in a way where i don't feel its redundant. because we're seeing it at the same time as she is. i also have so much fun each time i get to write him, and that, makes me happy.

[fermiomoriblog]

The pitfalls of every Sunny ship

Diving straight into the hot coals with the first post. But it has been on my mind lately.

The setup in Omori is naturally quite mentally (and in some cases physically) taxing on every main cast character, and a shipper can very easily be overenthusiastic about getting a "happy ending" for their preferred pair, glossing over inconvenient problems and dynamics. I think that it really is rather contrary to the game's themes that this occurs, but it is also understandable that not everybody does a full psychoanalysis of every plot point in their story. I'll list some "common" problems I've personally encountered with people making content about sunburn, suntan and sunflower. I'm more familiar with the dynamics common on ao3 than elsewhere, so if you have any other observations or things to add, please feel free to do so.

# OMORI SPOILERS BELOW #

Sunburn

The "canon" ship. The fact that the ship is explicitly mentioned in game means that the ship is viewed as the "default", and it can lead to some lazy dynamics or lack of justification. You have to remember that no matter what headspace says (and headspace says a lot of things that aren't true), the first thing Sunny and Aubrey did after four years is beat the shit out of each other. Sunny knows nothing about the Hooligans, even though we do, and Aubrey thinks Sunny abandoned her (which is a feeling unlikely to abate after the truth). There needs to be basis for the ship as well - they aren't going to just pick up where they left off (presuming they had anything to leave off in the first place) right away. Which leads us to the first common problem:

Basing the relationship entirely on the past

This is the default reaction and requires the least writing creativity, so it is not surprising that it is common. Simply porting the HS dynamic or the swing scene to the future and copy-pasting is fun and cute and all, but it ignores the fact that both Sunny and Aubrey have changed massively. There's a lot of guilt that is going around, both with Sunny for obvious reasons and Aubrey for pushing Basil in the lake, and Aubrey has a bunch of new, closer friends whom depending on your interpretation are either theatre kids or delinquents. This is not really just going to get talked away on the swing set - they involve third parties.

I would venture to argue that this is actually a very problematic pitfall, despite it being generally not a very serious transgression in real life. Omori, as a game, is about moving on from the past. If you write a fic where the characters forget about bad things in the past but hang on like hell to the good things... that's Headspace. You've just put Sunny in a new Headspace.

Getting Basil out of the way

Even among sunburn/suntan shippers, it is pretty generally accepted that Basil was somewhat attached to Sunny even before the accident. So if you don't want to do sunflower, how do you deal with that?

You can write angst, where Aubrey and Basil end up fighting over Sunny. Weirdly, I've never seen this actually happen (probably because it's too heartbreaking). You can have Basil go to therapy, and get rid of an unhealthy attachment. You can also go the seriously angsty route of Basil hating Sunny for abandonment, Sunny hating Basil for his role in the incident, or a less intense version which just puts a barrier between the two. You can also have Sunny reject Basil. Or you can argue that the attachment was platonic, which is entirely fair.

What you cannot do is have Basil be romantically interested in Sunny, but "get out of the way" for Aubrey "so that Sunny can be happy". Or, well, you can do that, but you can't frame it as anything but serious angst from Basil's POV.

Unfortunately, many, many "pure fluff" Sunburn fics do this, because "pure fluff" fics don't want to untangle the whole thing as most methods involve some degree of emotional turnmoil. This is no ordinary infautation - Basil has waited for Sunny for four years. Nursing unrequited love like that is really, really painful. It is certainly not something that someone with Basil's character and history can do with a smile on their face. If you need any further convincing, I point you to Note to Self: Don't Be Gay in Faraway Town by witheredahlia.

A version of this which I think is a lesser sin (because it is at least framed with some nuance), but a sin regardless, is Aubrey getting annoyed at Basil for "stealing" Sunny's attention from her. This gets dangerously close to the reddit comments you see about "the friend group will be better off if Basil never joined".

Suntan

Despite sunburn being the "canon" and sunflower being the natural alternative, I actually think that this is the default. After all, Kel was the one to bring Sunny out, generally saving his life, and is his first friend, etc. Kel is also a clean slate character, with nothing anyone can particularly hold against them, and as a result suntan is the "healthiest", "least questionable" ship. This commits the customary mistake of believing Kel's parents when they say "eh, it's Kel, he'll be fine".

"Kel's fine"

No, he's not. He's spent the better part of four years trying to forget the happiest times of his childhood, and has been going around doing nothing but fixing and saving other people, putting others' needs far above his own, for the entirety of pre-canon and foreseeably for a good part of post canon as well. Suntan, especially with Sunny still in a vulnerable state post-canon, can very easily be written into Kel being Sunny's unpaid, untrained therapist, and his mood/health being Kel's only/majority source of validation. Kel's self-worth independent of his friends needs addressing and development, and without a lot of development, Sunny alone is not really equipped to provide that.

In all fairness, while I would be somewhat confident in saying that the majority of canon-compliant sunburn fics run into the problems above, suntan fics do usually handle it better. That might just be because there aren't that many suntan fics though.

Sunflower

It goes without saying that sunflower has the highest potential to be unhealthy. But precisely because of that fact, people writing sunflower are usually very careful to address it. Either the fic is written as a work exploring codependency/attachment/trauma/other general unhealthiness (which you can make your own judgement on whether it's a legitimate art form or problematic), or there is at minimum an attempt at pacing, therapy and general juggling of the various mental issues the game leaves Sunny and Basil with (for a shining example, see These Days Without You by Smitty1899, my go to answer for when anyone says "but sunflower toxic!!1!").

The issues that can make sunflower unhealthy and problematic are generally pretty obvious - shared crime, codependency and attachment, commitment and abandonment issues, and the whole "getting together before their friends forgive them" thing (which can still be done well, but from the POV of especially Hero can be kind of eh, and unlikely to be conducive to a healthy relationship given that it kind of depends on their friends' pending "approval".) As a result, there aren't a lot of works that don't address them in one manner or another. However, I do think there is one major pitfall that some fics fall into in the other direction:

Having everything in the relationship be dependent on someone else's approval.

In an attempt to make sunflower as healthy as possible, some authors make it so that Sunny and Basil effectively never make decisions on their own. There's always a third party present to psychoanalyse them, tell them what's fine and what's not, etc. and every step they make in their relationship is with the express blessing, support and help of the rest of their friends. The problem is, that's not healthy either.

I feel that the value of sunflower is greatest in the context of the themes of the game of moving on and forgiveness. Making it so that Sunny and Basil hang on to their guilt forever and robbing them of any "right" to decide for themselves what makes them happy is very much contrary to that - they're on crutches for the rest of their lives, and the point of the good ending is the hope that they won't need to be. It also is just not a good thing for any third party to intervene so extensively in a relationship.

Conclusion

Omori is emotionally deep, with many, many themes to explore. Ships in Omori have unique meanings and themes, which in a canon compliant context is quite hard to simply wipe away. Rushing into a ship with insufficient pacing and development, which works in "cute" fandoms, generally leaves lots of outstanding holes in Omori.

This post doesn't necessarily mean that I think less of any particular ship mentioned - to reiterate, every ship has unique meanings and themes which is interesting to explore and form a part of the message of the game. It is however true that some pitfalls in some ships are easier to fall in, and overlooked, than others, and the obvious problems get a lot more bashing than the non-obvious ones. (Yes, sunflower bias. Sue me.)

And of course, in a plotless or AU context, cute art is cute art.

[virtue-and-beneviolence]

This made me think how much hanma and draken have this funny enemies thing going on so imagine ur pissed at shuji or just sick of him not making a move yet? Y’all act like a couple but this mfer never made it official? Like why is his hand always in the back pocket of ur jeans? Why does this mfer offer u the last bite of his donut? No tell me why tf does he hold ur hand in a crowded place?🤨And when u lowkey joke about oh are u in love with me? And he laughs saying “don’t be silly doll” doll? (I’ll end him I swear) so u flirt with draken and yknow how he hates his guts that’s why u do so to piss him off and I think pissed shuji very sexy tbh wow 🤲🏽👍🏽and the thought of losing u to another man? And that man is bald with a braid? Aw hell naH Shawty he confessing so fast🤭😳

No because making draken the sacrificial goat is killing me lmao. Dw we won't do draken dirty here I've got a work-around.

also massive apologies to you vivi i'm sorry you knew abt this for an inordinate amount of time

Official.

it takes idiots (reader and shuji) many months, jealousy and miscommunication, and some prettiness to finally make it official.

cw: fem!reader, reader loses her temper and shuji is super needy so its a lil more subby!shuji smut, cream pie, unprotected sex (don't recommend, be safe out there), ye idk im gonna go pretend this isn't posted now, peace ✌️ ~2.2k

God but hear me out it starts at a toman party. Shuji and you are acting the way you always do. You're literally in his lap lounging in the corner of the couch. He's playing with the hem of your skirt, flipping the end between his fingers and rubbing the skin of your thigh. You're talking to Yuzuha who's occupying the chaise lounge. You haven't seen her in a while, she's been abroad with hakkai on so many modelling gigs lately. And she totally misreads the situation. She's like, so how is it, finally being together?

At first it's silly, though you have a tinge of want at the end of your words when you joke back with, "Well we've actually been married for three years, we just never found the right time to tell you all."

Yuzuha clocks it as a joke, but not as a sore spot for you. Or maybe she's so shocked and that's why she won't let it go that easily. "Hanma what the hell is wrong with you?"

"Undiagnosed ADHD and probabl-"

You give your friend a we're-going-to-talk-about-this-later look as a baffled Yuzuha cuts him off. "Wha- Hanma god damn it I meant-no- you know what I meant."

He offers a half shrug, "What? M'young."

That's when you excuse yourself blankly to get another drink. The insinuation that Shuji was still playing the field left you a bit numb. He wasn't. You knew that he wasn't because you were with him 90% of his waking hours. Hell you'd platonically (as platonically as you and Shuji ever really were) slept in his bed last night and woke up next to him. The bastard slept with his arms around you and snored in your ear half the night and he has the balls to joke like that? His words stung like a betrayal of the highest degree.

In the kitchen you found Draken looking for a pong partner. Perfect, you decide, a distraction with alcohol built in.

He tells you casually between turns he's fresh off (another) a break up with his on again off again girlfriend and you feel a dark part of you light up and a wicked idea is born.

You throw the pong game. To the point where Draken has to give you pointers. Has to get real close and talk lowly in your ear about how we need you to aim for the left one this time okay? His honeyed baritone sends shivers down your spine and you wonder for a second how much better this scenario would be if it were Shuji in your ear. Shuji's hands on your hip, his thumb dipping below the waist band of your skirt.

You huff a little. Nah fuck him. it's time to put your plan into action. You throw with your usual accuracy. You get the point. Out of the corner of your eye you see a certain skunk striped boy half-fixated on your game.

Showtime, you brain screams.

Excitedly you hop in Draken's grasp, throwing your arms around his neck and revel in his pleased laughter. "You're up again," he says as he puts you down and steps back. You stop him by the wrist, tug him back a little.

"Wait can you help me line it up again?" You bat your lashes a bit, playing at being drunker than you both know you are.

"Sure thing." You feel his warmth and relish in it, stalling and pressing into him. It's a miss, but the tiny peck under your ear he plants feels like a win.

The ball splashes in a cup on your side and you opponent, Kazutora smirks. Draken offers to drink it but you refuse. It's cheap beer. It's rough going down. Draken puts his hand between your shoulders and says that for such a pretty little thing you sure can hold your alcohol. The praise, more than the alcohol, warms your cheeks.

It's the last shot and you make it. You excitedly turn around in Draken's grasp and catch his lips in yours. You never intended for it to be a just celebratory peck, but you pull away, blushing a bit and stuttering apologies to make it appear so. Draken drawls out some praise for his pretty girl that won the game and draws you back in by the small of your neck and pulling the plush of your lower lip between his teeth.

You hear Kazutora cat whistle and know, you just know, it's meant to alert his buddy Shuji. Mentally you apologize to Emma but after she's regaled you and the girls with all the filthy details of the nasty make up sex she and Draken have, somehow you think she won't mind this little show, given that's all it was.

You hope she'll also forgive the two heavy punches Shuji lands on her Kennyboy before Kazutora pulls your next friend back and you can get back between the two again. People are staring, hoping for a fight. Some even boo when Emma whisks Draken away by the collar of his shirt and you try to push Shuji away.

"Fuck him," he spits and looks at you, "you too you little shit," he accuses and pulls you away by the wrist.

--

God, you're a certified sucker for that crazy look in his eyes. It's the first thing you think when Shuji slams the door of a spare bedroom in Pah Chin's house. You can't help it. There's nothing like Hanma Shuji slipping into his aggressive chaos mode on this earth. His irises glow with his emotion. And, wow was it easy to forget that he had you pressed against the door of this room with all his energy and attention fixed on you.

His fingers were knotted in your hair and you vaguely noted his growl asking you what the FUCK you thought you were doing.

"And who are you to ask that? I'm not yours. We're not together Shuji. Never have been. You're young, still right?" You shoot back

"Tch, that's what this is about?"

Maybe he had you caged against the door but liquid courage had you fighting back. You shove his chest. "Yeah. Yeah that's what this is about. What the fuck right do you have to treat me like I'm yours? You drive me everywhere. You hold my hand. You share your bed. You kiss my forehead. You make me breakfast. You know my secrets. You call me yours. But you can't make it official? What the fuck is up with that?"

With every sentence you've pushed Shuji back till he was perched on the corner of the bed.

"How the fuck is that fair, huh? You want me to be yours Shuji? Then tell me you're fucking mine." It's not a request. It's a demand. An ultimatum. A last chance to be honest with you.

He's looking up at you still as a statue, emotion so unreadable it unnerves you. You know how he wears almost any emotion. He rarely surprises you, and yet...

"I'm yours."

Shuji says it quietly at first like there's a lag between his awareness and speech. You're shocked he's caved so quickly and you stutter out an "Excuse me?"

"I'm yours." He repeats, more confidently. "God I'm so fucking yours." He's dragged you by the hips to straddle his lap and his lips are on yours and you swear you can taste the adrenaline on his tongue.

It's every bit as addicting as you guessed to properly make out with Shuji. You don't know how long you've been sat on him attached in this kiss but when you tug him by the hair to catch your breath and hear him groan at the tension you think you've died and gone to heaven. He's mumbling little "all fuckin yours, baby" up and down your neck and you feel his voice reverberating in your throat.

You grind down on the swell of his hardening dick and smirk a bit, lips ghosting his, "all?"

"All."

He's shimmying out of his pants, when you slide off his lap to kneel on the floor. You're met with a sizeable bulge hidden under tight black fabric and you damn near moan just at the sight of his freed dick springing up to tap his abs when you pull the last offending piece of fabric away. "Shuji you're so fucking beautiful." You say as you brush your fingers over his length carefully. His mouth opens in an amused playful smirk but you're on him immediately, stealing his words by licking a stripe from base to the tip that you pop right in your mouth. His jaw hesitates and then goes slack as you look up at him and take as much of him as possible.

You don't know what you expected but he is not quiet. He's mumbling praise and expletives and he exhales the hottest, breathiest moan you've ever had the pleasure to hear, let alone cause, when his tip hits the back of your throat and you swallow around it. You smile around him and want to giggle but you settle on humming around him. You force his fingers in your hair into a fist telling him to set his pace but he pulls you off instead. He's panting a bit and you feel a pang of pride in your chest.

"Need to fuck you. Need your pussy." He's already clamoring to help you up and discard your skirt. You do him the honor of not remembering his words as needy and stuttered as they were just this one time.

You climb over him to straddle his hips and stroke his cock once, twice, before running the tip along your slit. Rather than taking the tip you pivot your hips and pin his dick to his abs and run your soaking lips along his length. The sensation of his hot head nudging your clit brings you to your elbows, moaning in his ears.

Big hands grip your ass and grind you even harder into his dick. And between the warm stimulation and the nails digging into your skin you're already on the fucking edge, but you'll be damned if the first time you fuck Shuji you don't cum around his cock.

Finally after your relentless teasing you lined up his dick and hovered over him bobbing just enough to tease his tip with the velvety walls of your pussy. Shuji can barely whine a "fuck, doll stop teasing me cant take it," before you've sunk down and taken his cock whole and he's groaning and squeezing your ass, pulling you onto himself with bruising strength. You're suddenly laying on him again, collapsed down to your elbows with the power of your orgasm, while your fluttering walls only spur him on.

The weight of years of fantasies of this moment hit him at once and before you can process it, he's bear hugging you and rolling over to take the lead. Fuck, how could he not? After pining after you for so long, imagining getting to finally fuck you and promising himself that he'd make sure you wanted no one else when he was done with you.

It's endearing, you think, how he mutters as much to you over and over as he makes your pussy his as he fucks you through your high and beyond. You giggle and moan and gasp and think this is exactly how you pictured sex with Shuji to be needy, whiny, unexpected, a little rough.

You can read him so well that when his breath hitches just right, you wrap you legs around his waist, ignoring the stuttered warning of his own impending orgasm. Instead you gripped his hair, pulled his face to yours and breathed, "Gonna make me all fucking yours?" over his lips.

Immediately he pulled away from your kiss, unable to coordinate as he lost his composure and filled you, half locked in place by your legs. Muttered curses and filthy nonsense about how you feel around his is all he can get out until he's spent, finally latching his mouth on your shoulder to give an affectionate bite, not unlike bites you'd exchanged as friends a few hours before. You let him lay on you a minute or so to recover before he pulls back and sits up on his knees to look down at you, at his handiwork.

"Holy shit."

"Yeah," you agreed.

"Why haven't we done that before?"

"Hm...something about you being young?" You tease as he eases out of you.

"Yeah yeah, I get it. We already fucked that issue away," he jokes back and combs his fingers through some minor tangles in your hair, "S'not like I meant it anyway, y'know."

You catch his hand and tug it, wanting to be closer, "You're free to prove that to me any time."

In true Shuji form, he gasps in that goofy performatively dumb way he likes to as he brings his face close to yours for a kiss, "You mean I can do this again?"

[c-is-for-circinate]

On one hand, there's definitely more of this to be written, and possibly even more of this scene.

On the other hand, posting now means it gets posted at all, and I also happen to think that the place where it ends is very, very funny.

In short: Dustin is a smart kid with a lot of good ideas. Unfortunately, he knows this about himself, which is also his greatest flaw. Set somewhere between Stranger Things S3 and S4.

---

Dustin shows up at Family Video on a Wednesday night. Steve never works Wednesday nights -- slow enough that Keith can spare him, late enough in the week that most girls are actually wiling to consider it a date night. He's seeing the second Nightmare on Elm Street movie, which Dustin is maybe a little annoyed about because it's only been out for a week and the Party needs Steve to get them into R-rated movies, he knows that. But Steve just said something about horror movies being essential opportunities for girls to cuddle in close so you can protect them, and completely ignored Dustin's totally reasonable comments about how Steve is the one to freak out at jumpscares most of the time when he watches horror movies with them, and went anyway.

Which is so stupid, because there's literally nothing real to protect a girl from in a horror movie. Steve has literally protected Robin from actual Soviet torture, with his actual face. Dustin saw him through that concussion! Dustin knows perfectly well that Steve probably drew the Russians' attention on purpose the whole time he and Robin were in there!

And somehow, he and Robin still aren't dating. If that isn't enough, then Dustin really doesn't see how putting an arm around a girl to save her from Freddy Krueger is going to do any better.

So Dustin bikes his way to Family Video, in the dark because it's November in Indiana, and when he gets there he folds his arms on the counter and gives Robin his brightest, most patient smile. She takes one look at him and rolls her eyes.

"He's not here right now," she informs him. "So if you want to badger him into renting you an R-rated movie, you're going to have to come back tomorrow, I'm not your babysitter and I'm not doing it."

Dustin just keeps grinning at her. Broadly.

"You know, Robin, we never talk," he says. Robin groans.

"Oh god, what now?" she asks. "And get off the counter, Keith's in the back and if he sees you he'll throw a fit."

"Keith is taking a nap back there and we both know it," Dustin scoffs. As if he doesn't know Keith's habits. "He only ever comes out of the back when Steve's working because he likes to make Steve do menial tasks while Keith hits on the hot girls that he thinks come in here because Steve's working."

"Fine, whatever, it's creepy that you know that," Robin sighs. "What do you want?"

"So I've been talking to Steve," Dustin says. "You know, our friend Steve. Pretty face, good hair, excellent reviews on the kissing front."

"Ew," says Robin. "Ew, no, you're twelve, don't talk about Steve kissing. Don't talk about Steve kissing at all!"

"Excuse me, one, I'm fourteen years old, I am in high school, where I just saw you earlier today, so it's not like you're that much older than me," Dustin says. "Two, if we don't talk about kissing Steve, how are we going to get you two over this weird little speedbump you're having where you're somehow not dating yet?"

Robin groans again. It's louder this time, and she also tips her head back to the sky while she does it. Dustin waits patiently.

"I'm not going to date Steve," she says. "Please stop bugging him about this, it's not going to happen. I don't want to talk about it, he doesn't want to talk about it, can you please just let this goooooo." She groans the last word, drawing it out like Mike when his mom tries to make him clean his room.

"Not until I see you two happy," Dustin says firmly, unmoved thanks to many years of being friends with Mike. "Steve is one of my best friends, and not only are you his other best friend, we've been through the heat of battle together, which means you're my friend too. I want both of you to be happy, and clearly there's nothing you like more than spending time together--"

"Yeah, because we're friends, Dustin, that's what friends do," she says, but Dustin has proof.

"Friends don't have to get jobs working at the same retail store even after their old one burned down," he begins.

"We're good coworkers and otherwise he'd have to break in a whole new set of coworkers who haven't had to deal with Dustin Henderson already for months," she says.

"You work well together, you compliment each other, you already get along with his other friends..."

"Not sure if 'getting along' is the right phrase right now," Robin mutters. Dustin ignores her.

"He's always giving you rides places, he's literally left a date to give you rides on multiple occasions --"

"Like he doesn't do the same for you!"

"Robin," Dustin says pityingly. "Leaving a date? When it's not the end of the world?" It's so obvious how much Steve likes her. Dustin's never seen him act like this with anybody since Nancy. Not that it's exactly the same as Steve used to act with Nancy, but clearly that's just because he's had time to grow and mature, and Robin's better than Nancy for him anyway. She keeps him from stressing out too much. "Driving you to school every morning even though he couldn't even get there on time most days when he was a student himself?"

"I don't have a license!"

"You really don't have to worry about it," Dustin says. "I happen to know for a fact that Steve would date you in an instant if you said yes."

Well. A strongly-supported scientific theory, anyway, which is basically the same thing. Anyway, it should be enough to get Robin spilling whatever self-doubt she's bottling up -- she's too nerdy, Steve only dates slutty cheerleader girls, whatever -- so Dustin can explain to her all the ways she's wrong, and they'll finally be taken care of.

"And I happen to know for a fact that he wouldn't, so how about you take the word of the person he's actually not dating and drop it?" Robin demands. She sounds on the verge of actually upset with him.

"But why?" Dustin demands right back. Which is really the crux of it, isn't it? Dustin has been asking the world why at every turn for fourteen solid years, and he has never let it back down without a fight.

"Steve likes you! You're at least as pretty as all those other girls, and it can't just be that you don't think you're cool enough for him, because lest we forget, the last time he was actually in love instead of just being kind of easy for any girl to look his way twice was with Nancy Wheeler, who is by definition a nerd!" Dustin lays his most damning evidence out rapid-fire, taking down Robin's arguments even if she hasn't made them yet. "He's a hot guy! He's kind of a catch! You're a cool girl! You actually like him back! What is the problem here!"

"Not every guy likes every girl just because they're a girl!" Robin fires back at him. "Not every girl is attracted to every guy! And you know, the fact that you think that is insulting and reductive, when some guys and girls don't even like girls or guys at all, and what would Suzie think, Dustin? What would Suzie think if she heard that you think every guy should date every girl he's friends with just because he's friends with her?"

"First of all, Suzie thinks you and Steve are destined to live happily ever after once he saves you in another bold act of heroism," Dustin informs her. Obviously. "Second of all, what do you mean, some guys don't like girls and girls don't like guys?"

And then Robin gets a look on her face. Dustin might have let it go, if Robin hadn't gotten that look on her face.

It's a split second of sheer panic. Robin ducks away from him, turns back to the Family Video checkout computer like she's trying to be casual, but her hands are anxious, picking up a stack of videos just to put them down, and she's not looking at him, and Dustin saw it. Dustin saw.

"It's just a thing, that happens sometimes, right?" Robin asks. "You can't just assume you know what somebody wants, that just because two people are both attractive they're going to want each other. You don't want to date Max, right?"

"Actually, yeah, I had a crush on Max when we first met, and I reconciled myself to her choice of Lucas in favor of slightly strained friendship until I discovered the love of my life in Suzie," Dustin informed her. "Much like Steve reconciled himself to Nancy's choice of Jonathan, until he met you and suddenly started spending all of his time with you. And anyway that's not what you said, you said that some guys don't like girls at all, which sounds like you're talking about gay people, which doesn't even..." Except that Dustin's thoughts are starting to catch up with his words, and he's trailing off, because. Because holy shit.

Steve dates so many girls. So many! He's constantly hitting on them and striking out, almost like he's just going through the motions, like he's not even trying except for appearances' sake. Even when he goes on actual dates they never last more than once or twice. And he's been doing it like that since high school, exactly like that. He's blown off dates to give Robin rides places. He's blown off dates to give Dustin rides places. He once blew off a date to sit in Mike Wheeler's basement and doze off on the couch while the Party spent three hours building D&D characters for their first-ever Hellfire Club campaign.

And Nancy? Nancy Wheeler, who Steve was totally in love with, except that according to Mike they started having problems basically as soon as the very first demogorgon fight was over and didn't stop for the next full year? Nancy who left him for Jonathan, who Steve is still friends with. Steve and Jonathan are better friends now than they were before he and Nancy broke up. Or at least they were before the Byers left for California, anyway, and that's basically the same thing, Jonathan was probably Steve's best friend actually his own age before he met Robin which was really sad, actually, but--

Steve getting super close with Robin after getting dosed with Russian drugs that were meant to make them tell the truth! Robin and Steve acting like they knew a secret that they couldn't tell anybody else or else!! Robin swearing up and down to the ends of the earth that she knows Steve doesn't want to date her for a mysterious reason she can't and won't explain!!!

"What, no, who said anything about gay people?" Robin is babbling, collecting more and more videos in her hands like a nervous D&D player who thinks hoarding dice is going to save them from a red dragon, but Dustin ignores her. "I just meant that attraction is complicated, and--"

"Holy shit," Dustin breathes. "Holy shit, is Steve Harrington gay?"

Robin drops the tapes.

[drdemonprince]

How do you tell the difference between perfectly reasonable bitch sessions about people processing their problems with others/groups, as opposed to having ended up in a clique? I've been in situations a few times in my life where I ended up in a friend group whose complaining about others made me feel very irritated and/or uncomfortable. But I can't tell whether that's a reasonable reaction or whether my own tendencies towards people-pleasing and toxic positivity.

I don't want to give in to a bad impulse to "play devil's advocate" or anything, but my internal reaction tends to be "well, at the moment I'd rather be with them than you" and start looking for chances to make more distance so I won't be privy to those discussions anymore. But then I worry that distancing myself from people because of unexpressed discomfort isn't the right thing to do either.

To further complicate the matter: I also criticize people behind their backs sometimes! I feel like it can contribute to less charged, more robust relationships with those around me. My tolerance for this in general has gone up a bit over the years, and now someone else is doing it about a person whose flaws I've also seen doesn't bother me nearly as much. I can't tell if that's reasonable, hypocritical, or a secret third thing. I feel like I do it with the intention of ultimately getting to know/deal with them better, but maybe that's just toxic positivity talking again.

TL;DR any tips for how to a) identify constructive vs. destructive talking about people behind their backs when I'm privy to it, and b) respond if it seems like the destructive kind?

I think the search for an over-arching rule of what should be acceptable here is the wrong tactic! Rather than worrying so much about whether what you are doing is okay, or hypocritical, or too devils-advocatey, or too fawning, or what's the optimal level and form of talking about other people to which you should permit in yourself and others.... please just let yourself actually trust how you feel! This is an interpersonal vibe issue and how you feel and what you want matters.

It annoys you to be around people who are super negative and judgmental toward others. You think the judgements this person is making of a third party are needless. Just say that! You don't have to have some grand unified theory of why it's not acceptable for them to speak in this way or some established rule set to justify how you feel. How you feel is the point! These are your relationships and you get to decide how you feel about them!

Here are some statements that are totally acceptable to say in this situation:

"I don't really like hearing you talking so negatively about people."

"Can we talk about something else? This is not interesting to me."

"I don't have any problem with them, let's move on."

"When you talk about other people like this, it makes me wonder how you see me."

"Yeah yeah I get it the picture, you don't like them. Played any good video games lately?"

Or, if they are insistent in continuing to complain about people or talk negatively in ways that you dislike and don't listen when you say it's unpleasant for you, you could just not hang out with this person! This is a very legitimate reason to not like somebody.

I had a partner for a while who would constantly talk shit about other people. I'm a hater in a great many ways so at first I thought it was fine. I'm used to people thinking I'm too analytical and too critical so sometimes being around negative people feels safe and accepting to me! And I love a good bitching sesh -- especially in person discussions about online people who are never gonna be hurt or affected by me privately talking shit with my friends.

But I noticed this person I was seeing constantly would pick apart every one else's flaws, including random people they'd only just met, while also complaining often about how they didn't get enough affection or attention themselves... it frankly disgusted me because they could not see that their shitty attitude toward others was the sole cause of their own isolation. I had to end things because it was so viscerally off-putting. This person was always perfectly nice to me. Very generous, affectionate, complimentary, and attentive. It didn't matter because I didn't like how they spoke about others and how much time they devoted to being petty. It was a huge turn off and it can be a massive friendship deal-breaker too. If you don't like it, you don't like it! that's enough.

[alwaysteveswife]

"My girl" | Steve Harrington x Fem! Reader.

Steve and Y/N go to a party of one of his old "friends" for a good night out, too bad Jason was there to ruin it.

Warnings: Y/N being passive aggressive, Steve being tender <3, mention about Y/N's anxiety issues, Jason being a jerk as usual.

Number of characters: 3,942

I've never been a big fan of parties. I'm the kind of person who prefers to hang out with friends in a close circle and eat junk food until late. Unfortunately, my boyfriend was the opposite, so when he was invited to a party and looked at me with those puppy dog eyes he makes when he wants something I knew my plans for the night were ruined.

Now I was standing at a kitchen counter in a kitchen too ostentatious for a 20 year old teenager, drinking coke while pulling some potatoes out of the jar on the table.

Whenever Steve drags me to these things he is by my side, if some people come over to talk to him he just puts his arm around my shoulders and casually adds me to the conversation. That was one of the many reasons I was lost for him. He knew about my anxiety issues and how bad I get around people, so he would always stay by my side, grabbing my waist, grabbing my shoulders while stroking my arm, or just tangling the fingers of our hands, giving a kiss on the back of this one every so often.

To my bad luck, Steve is human, and like a normal human, he has to go to the bathroom. That's why I was basically behaving like the complete asocial person I am, staying away from the crowd and avoiding any conversation that might be born between me and people I didn't know.

"Hi!" A blond-haired, blue-eyed boy with a big smile approached me, leaning against the kitchen counter, "I noticed you were a bit lonely here, so I came to keep you company".

"No need, I'm fine on my own" I peeked out the door leading to the hallway hoping to see Steve. The kitchen was empty and completely surrounded by walls, which meant I was alone with this guy.

"No need to be modest, although I understand why you're nervous" he let out an idiotic laugh, as Robin calls them, the kind that guys do when they think they're impressing girls.

"I'm sorry, I don't think I'm understanding, why, exactly, should I be nervous?" I recoiled uncomfortably as I noticed him getting closer to me than necessary. I hated having my personal space invaded.

"Don't you know who I am?" The tone he used made me gag. "Jason Carver".

"Ah" I nodded, looking toward the door, internally biting my lower lip. I wasn't liking the situation. "Actually, I have no idea who you are, and I'm not interested in finding out, so could you back up?"

"Are you the difficult type?" He laughed again when he saw my displeased grimace. "It's okay, I find it attractive in girls".

"Excuse me...?" Before I could finish, Jason and I were startled to notice a hand on his shoulder, pressing down hard.

"Hey, thanks for finding my girlfriend, buddy" Steve slapped the boy's back hard, feigning a 'friendly' greeting. "I'd been looking all over the house for her" he ran a hand around my waist. I could tell, as I looked up, how behind his big smile there was a trace of anger, he was clenching his jaws.

"Your girlfriend, she didn't say anything to me about a boyfriend".

"My girl is a little shy about that, although I don't understand why she should have told you we were a couple anyway" Before Jason could say anything, Steve moved closer to me, leaving short kisses on my lips while mumbling something about going home to spend the rest of the night together. It went on like that until the third guy in the room decided to leave. "God, I can't leave you alone for a minute without some jerk coming on to you," he snorted, holding my cheek as he brushed his nose against mine. "Did that guy do something to you?"

"You're just in time" I put my arms around his neck, closing my eyes and lowering my voice "And I really like your idea of going home" I smiled when I heard his laugh, followed by his hands carrying me carefully as he ran to the car. "Steve! I'm going to fall if you carry me like that!" I was holding on tightly to his shoulders, laughing too hard to hear the music coming out of the speakers.

"I promise I won't let you fall, honey".

Masterlist

[artfilmfan]

I don't think i've ever despised US politics more (i've always been critical of the foreign policy under basically any US president during my lifetime - even under Obama it was disastrous, but this has gone now beyond all acceptable limits), BOTH parties. The DNC is the display of everything that is wrong with the US political system (basically two right wing parties that follow AIPAC guidelines, one of them pretending to be left while it hasnt been for ages, a few issues alone and waving lgbt and minority flags doesnt make you progressive if you allow genocide to happen to people that look different than you or follow a different religion) and just how incredibly one sided they are about the whole thing. Hosting exclusively hostages from one side while forgetting there are many more Palestinians hostages in prisons (or torture camps as even the more decent Israeli journalists call them) without any evidence, children included. Palestinians don't even exist for them, their suffering doesnt exist and they are not allowed on that DNC stage to even say how THEY feel about it all, or their POV. They are still giving a blank check to Netanyahu (who is a wanted war criminal by international law and with all the ICJ rulings) to do whatever he wants including sending more military aid while Palestinian children and other civilians are literally being blown apart, after destroying basically everything in Gaza and killing more than 10 percent of the entire Palestinian population (those numbers could be even much higher after all is examined). Anything that happens on US election day is totally on them. Anything that happens out of disgust of enabling all this is totally on them.

At this point i dont think i have anything else to say on this matter, my words wont change anything, even far more important people cant do anything about it as it seems, i'm done talking about it. We will however never forget or forgive this and we will act on it as much as we can. Boycotts (the financial consequences of them are already working worldwide and its only the beginning), disrupting events of any kind that feature the enablers, letting anyone involved in this know how an entire generation of people feels about it all will be the least we can do. The young and future voters (that they are alienating more and more, that's why they fear tiktok so much) will one day be the decisive factor and they too will not forget what they did when it mattered. Sooner or later there will be a boomerang effect. And then maybe there will be some kind of justice, although far too late for the present generation of Palestinians going thru the worst anyone could ever imagine. Almost one year of all this and the powers that be still pretend its nothing. The world really failed you Palestine and i'm truly sorry and embarassed i'm part of this world that let it happen and go on for this long. The protests and the epic scale of them is the only good thing that happened because of it. I hope they continue on many levels until there is true justice for Palestinians.

[uriekukistan]

omg! First of all congrats on finishing your assignments! 💐 Now, fashion hcs for itafushi I'm HUNGRY for them cause I've been thinking about it lately!!

I personally picture Yuuji as a streetweat fan with vibrant colors 🙏 while Megumi tends to be more... reserved? With his clothing? Like, i think he'd prefer low tonalities, neutral colors, he'd def look like out of pinterest.

Tell me about your thoughts please! ✨💝

hiii thank you & thank you for the ask! hope youre having a good weekend so far <333

i actually 100004% agree with what you said with yuuji being more into vibrant streetwear and megumi more muted colors and kinda classic not very flashy clothes.

i feel like yuuji runs hot so most of the year he’ll go for like really baggy shorts, either colorful basketball shorts or those obnoxiously large jorts, paired w more baggy t shirts that are either very bold colors or patterns, or have some silly design or phrase on them. probably also with those socks that come over the ankle w the nike swoosh on them? and jordans. also a frequent baseball cap and/or bucket hat wearer. these but w more bright colors bc everyone seems to be super into neutrals rn but not yuuji itadori!

on the off chance he gets cold, he’ll wear megumi’s sweatshirts. also i can see him going to thrift stores and leaving w the wildest t shirts like “grandma sally’s 82nd birthday party” type shirts.

i think megumi also goes for a more baggy look, but opposite of yuuji he’s wearing long sleeves and pants in the middle of july. maybe he’ll have a few odd t shirts for days its really hot, but he hates wearing shorts. black is usually the staple color for all of his outfits, and he’ll pair it with either denim or dark green. he likes a lot of pullover sweatshirts or sweaters, and typically sizes them up so he can do sweater paws but will never admit that he likes doing that. he sizes up bc baggy clothes are in style, obviously. in general he tends to stay away from anything patterned or graphic, he prefers just simple clothes because they’re easier to match. likes to have a closet where he can put any two pieces together and it looks good. also i see him as a denim jacket wearer and layering it over a lot of his outfits, especially in the fall. may have a leather jacket in the back of his closet that he hasnt gotten the courage to wear yet

also i am taking away his canon shoes and giving him doc martens oxford shoes

thank u again for the ask!! i think abt this 25/8 tbh

i also talked abt this here, not many things different i dont think

[ventriclealchemy]

If you are hurting, please talk to someone. It doesn't even have to be someone really close to you. Sometimes it's easier if they're not. You'd be surprised how many people will listen. If you are feeling suicidal, PLEASE talk to someone.

I regret not reaching out more. I am an introverted, quiet person who loves their space and alone time. I rarely reach out to people first, and I've grown apart from a lot of friends over the years. It happens as we get older and life gets away with you...

I've always had a dark side to me. I am very easily swayed into the chaos, hopeless feelings, and pull of the void. It resonates with me, and I've always had friends and lovers who are also deeply troubled. I've worked hard to clean up my life and try to put those feelings into creative outlets(for the most part). I've left people behind because of that, not intentionally, just because I don't really go party or live that lifestyle anymore.

I found out another friend passed away a few months ago. This week I found out that they overdosed. I knew it in my heart before I was told. Apparently they'd overdosed a few times before this, but this time was fatal. They were also my ex-boyfriend. From when we were younger, but still. There is that intimacy you share with the person that you never really forget. We stayed friends, but it was probably ten years since I last saw him.

He was a sweet, kind, loving guy. So gentle. He used to get me to read my angsty, dark poetry to him. He actually borrowed one of my poetry books, and never gave it back... Always wondered what happened to it, whether or not he kept it. We'd smoke cigarettes and hang around town like delinquents. I was too wrapped up in my own shit at the time, and I ended things. Figured they'd be better off without me. It's awful when you find out that's not the case.

They aren't even the first of my exs to pass from overdose. Another soft, beautiful soul taken too soon. I think about them a lot. I will keep thinking about them all my life. I wonder if I contributed to the pain, and whether or not I could have made a difference.

So yeah. Please just reach out. Please get help. I know it's hard. I'm here...

[useless-catalanfacts]

As you've discussed in your blog there's a distinction between Catalans and Valenciansin terms of identity, is there also one for Balearics?

(Sorry it took me a few days to answer, I've been very busy lately and I didn't have time to write a long post.)

First of all, I wouldn't quite say there is a distinction between Valencian and Catalan identity, because for many there isn't. For many Valencians, it's obvious that Valencians are part of the Catalan Countries, but there are right-wing groups who try very hard to push the idea that they're completely different, ignoring uhhh.... All of history, language and most of culture, and basing on pseudohistory, a handful of dialectal/accent differences and mostly a lot of Catalanophobia and Spanish nationalism/supremacy (some of this groups are openly fascist/neo-nazi). I know you're simplifying in order to ask the question, but I just wanted to make it clear.

For those new to the argument, I'll link to a previous post talking about Blaverism (the right-wing movement to consider the Valencian Country separate from the rest of the Catalan Countries, only a region of Spain, justified with conspiracy theories that contradict every serious historian and linguist):

To answer your question: in the Balearic Islands, it hasn't really happened. Technically it exists, it's the posture known as "neogonellisme", but it's soooo small that most people have never heard about it, and very often (as we'll see below) it's imposed from outside of the Balearic islands. In the (extremely few) cases where people from the Balearic Islands have defensed this, it was always Spanish nationalists who wrote exclusively in Spanish (mostly Antoni Alemany). When there's people in the Balearics who want to distance themselves from the rest of the Catalan Countries, it's usually just Spanish nationalism with Mallorcan regionalism, not an indentity in itself (like the now dead Centro Cultural Mallorquí and the still "active" Grupo d'Acció Baléà, Catalanophobic groups created by copying the Valencian blaverist groups).

I've only heard of the existence of these groups years ago when I was doing research into Blaverism, but I've never heard any Balearic person consider that their language isn't Catalan or that they're culturally something else. I know many Mallorcans, some Menorcans and an Eivissan and I think they'd be surprised to hear about this micro-movement.

However, right-wing Spanish groups are trying to push this idea there, since the "divide and conquer" strategy kind of worked in the Valencian Country. For example, the conservative politician Pablo Casado (of the PP party, he's from Castille) went to the Balearic Islands and gave a speech saying "what you speak in the Balearics isn't Catalan, you speak Mallorcan, Menorcan, Ibizan and Formenteran". Basically, this dude who doesn't even speak the language comes to tell us what is it that we speak lmao, but not only that, he says that each island speaks a different language! If I hadn't heard him on the news and knew about the Blaverism he's trying to copy, I would think this was made up as a joke. Sadly, a few time later, the Spanish so-called "left" wing party Podemos also copied this idea and tried to pass a law saying that Catalan in the Balearic Islands from now on should be called "Balearic". Both of this things were widely mocked, of course, since they don't make any sense and everyone considered them ridiculous.

So yeah, the idea exists, but it mostly comes from Spanish people who don't even speak the language and who try to convince us of it for purely ideological reasons, not because they actually believe it's something different. However, very few people actually believe it or defend it so it's basically seen as a joke, unlike Valencian Blaverism which is a bigger movement and well-organised in neo-nazi or philofascist organizations that have even attacked people for it and often get books banned for being written in "Barceloni", have prohibited Catalan TV and radio stations in the Valencian Country, etc., as we explained before.

[chocoadepti]

Nicola Drama CD Vol. 1 - Epilogo del 1927

This is an extremely rough translation, mainly mtl'd. Corrections more than welcome!!

That's a lot of people.

Forty thousand people...no, how many hundreds of thousands? It was a good thing I saved a hotel room. As I expected, I didn't want to join that crowd.

I had heard that New Year's Eve in New York is celebrated in Times Square rather than Trinity Church, but it was more than I expected.

The neon signs lit up the city more than usual, making it look white and shiny. It's so beautiful when you look down from a high place like this. But it's a shame that the night sky is so hazy, the beauty of the stars was better back in our hometown.

How is it, do you miss Burlone?

I don't think I'm the nostalgic type, but lately I've been thinking about that town a lot.

The street corner where I met you and the bar we used to go, the open-air restaurant in Veleno we passed by on a date, the shopping streets of Creta, and the Christmas Eve when we looked out over the square. ((Not quite sure about this part!))

I wonder why, there have been my share of bad times, but all I can remember are the good memories. And most of them are memories of you.

I hope one day, I don't know how many years or decades it will be, I'll have the chance to go back.

You see, for example, when passenger planes become stable enough to cross the Atlantic, it will be much easier and simpler to travel between America and Italy than it is now.

Ah, the Ball Drop. The countdown to the new year has begun. Less than a minute to 1928.

Yeah, this latest technology is pretty amazing. I heard they used a hundred bulbs in the Times Square Ball.

How do you like this kind of lively New Year's Eve? We haven't spent much time in church so far, but it's a good thing we went to the evening mass, so we were able to show our sincerity to God, right? ((Not sure about this part!!))

Here it seems to be the norm to do the ceremonies early and then have festivities at night with friends. I heard that New Year's Eve has become the mainstream, though I suppose it depends on the religious sect. ((Also not sure!!))

Oh, look, it's going to fall soon.

Five, Four, Three, Two, One

Here it comes. A new year has begun, 1928.

I'm glad to be here with you, my precious one, at this moment.

You're so cute too. I'm sure my wife will be just as cute next year and beyond.

I am glad that we were able to spend our first New Year's alone together after we got married.

After a few years, when it becomes normal for us to spend time together, it would be nice to invite not only family but also friends and have a party with everyone.

But that's a long way off. For now, I want to have you all to myself at least while we are newlyweds.

Eh, you also feel the same way?

Ah, I'm not doubting that you think so too, but you're being unusually honest, so I wondered what was wrong. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to question (??) you.

I was just happy and a little surprised.

I'm sorry.

Will you forgive me?

Grazie.

I think we've been out here too long, your cheeks are getting all cold. (??)

No, I'm not okay because you're so cold (??), so let's go back inside.

Come here, let's get you warmed up. I guess I'm colder than I thought too. It really does seem to get freezing cold in the winter here.

Yeah, I don't like the heat or the cold to begin with, but the reason I don't like winter is because it reminds me of so many things.

Ah, that's right, I've never talked about it with you. It was about 10 years ago now, I had spent winter in the Alps. I was stationed on the Italian Front.

I never regretted that choice. It was my own decision and I feel I did my duty. To paraphrase you, even if I could rewind time, I would make the same choice.

So many of my comrades died in that place, so many of them took up arms to protect their country, and many of them were broken by fear, crying to see their families and loved ones, but their tears soon froze and many of them died with regrets because they could do nothing about it. ((??))

Compared to them, I was very lucky. I could return to my hometown without losing anything. I still had two arms and both my legs were still connected.

It was good to return to my life (?), and the first thing I thought about was what to do with the rest of my life that I hadn't used up. But I didn't think too much about it. I knew what I wanted a long time ago, and I thought I would use my life for someone else.

I wanted to die protecting someone or something, just like my comrades.

It's not that I wanted to die, it's just that I've long since forgotten how strongly I wanted to not die. I'm willing to die to achieve my goals, and I've always been okay with that.

I'm sorry to tell you this, but listen, it's not like that anymore.

I'm Mafia, and I'm always in danger. The more power my Family gains, the more people will try to kill us. There are so many mafiosos in this city, and they are always looking for opportunities to take down other organizations.

We have left Burlone and arrived in New York, but I am sure that tough times will continue to occur.

Still, I won't die. No matter what, I won't die and leave you alone under any circumstances, I swear to God.

Ah, but it doesn't sound very credible for me to swear to God after what I did, does it?

Then, I'll swear to you, who is more important than God.

I will survive, even if I have to slurp up muddy water. Definitely.

I have lived my whole life for someone else. For my mother, for my country, for Dante, for my Family. I was told to do so, or I was forced to do so, and I thought it was my role to do so.

Now, I understand. Just like Dante, I was also bound to my blood for so long.

But now I'm free. You broke my cage, and now I just honestly want to be with you, to do this not because of someone else, but from my own desire. This is my wish, and no one else's. I want to live for my own sake, to make my own wish come true. I'm sorry that I couldn't say that I'll live for you. I'm being selfish and doing what I want for myself. (?? I'm not very sure about this part!))

Eh, you're saying that it's only natural? That I'm not being selfish.

That's why I fell in love with you/That's why I'm crazy about you. (Two different interpretations here lol)

I love you, my precious. Thank you.

If you were to live for me, then of course I'd be happy. But, if you were to live for yourself, and then you want to be with me, and stay by my side, then I'll be more than happy.

That's right, Signorina, how do you want to spend your first day of the year? If you want to get up early and go out, then you may need to go to bed. Or do you want to stay up late until the sun rises? Of course, if you want to chat then I'm also welcome to that.

We can talk while lounging in bed, but there may not be much of a conversation. Ah, I'm not trying to distract you, but, you see, I know myself pretty well.

Well, why don't we sit on the couch and chat, then that way I'm sure I won't disregard your wishes.

How about I make you something warm? Like hot milk?

Just like that night we met, I took your shaking hand and tucked you in. I was hoping to get you to let your guard down and maybe even fall in love with me, but I never thought that I would be the one to fall. I thought I had prepared for that quite carefully.

You see, Sister Sophia came to the house the next day and asked me to take care of you here, right? Actually, I had arranged that in advance.

You were very surprised at that time, weren't you? You never would have thought that and experienced and serious Sister would ask such a favor from the Mafia.

I told her in advance that it was necessary for your safety. I though that she(you?) would be hesitant to do so, and more than anything, I thought she(you?) would be scared. I asked her to make it a proposal from the Sisters.

I was planning a lot of things like this without you seeing it.

Well, I was betrayed by my own heart, which should have been the easiest to control.

All right, sit back and wait for me to make it soon. Ah, you're going to follow me? You're being more honest and sweet tonight than usual. How cute. How about we skip talking and go to bed instead?

I'm joking, I'm joking!

But we can't stay awake forever, so we'll go to bed sooner or later, right? If you're sleepy then, I'll caress your cheek and thank you for being my wife, kiss you softly and go to sleep with you. But if we go to bed and your eyes are still wide open and you're still acting sweet like this, then I'll live up to your expectations. It's ok to sleep in until afternoon tomorrow, after all there's no butler here to get mad at me.

My hot milk is a recipe that Giulia taught me. I heat it slowly over low heat like this. The trick is to keep stirring without boiling.

Can you pass me the mugs? Grazie.

Honey and cinnamon are the finishing touches.

Here you go, Signorina, be careful not to burn your tongue.

Maybe a bit too sweet. I'm glad you like it, your smile is the best reward of all.

Do you remember when I said it was enough for me to have a lovely wife at home?

That was my true feeling at the time. You didn't need to go out, do housework, or work, I just wanted you to be at home waiting for me to come home. I didn't want anything more than that, I was satisfied just by your presence.

But things are a little different now.

I want to have you all to myself, but I don't want to lock you away.

The woman I fell in love with is probably not the type of person who likes to stay at home, and even if she says she doesn't have to do anything, she should find something she can do and make an effort. (??)

I like that about you.

I want you to live your life the way you do.

Of course, if you want to stay at home all the time, that's fine. Even if you are just lounging in bed every day, my love for you will not change. But if you want to cook, or clean, or whatever else, then I'll convince Bartolo. He's a bit of a pain, but I can handle it.

Just because you're my wife doesn't mean you have to subject yourself to the rules that impose obligations or don't give rights. (??)

That's a bad tradition.

If you want to go out and find something you want to do and work hard to make it happen, then I'll support you. Of course I have my concerns, because I think it's best for you to stay home so you're not involved in anything dangerous or put in harm's way.

And I know that starting something new can be exhausting, painful, and hurtful.

I used to want to keep you away from all that, but that's my own ego, and if I really love you, then I shouldn't blindfold you, right?

I want you to see the world with your own eyes./ I must allow you to see the world with your own eyes. ((?? Unsure if this one too))

I've grown up a bit in the past year to be able to think this way, don't you think?

If you start something new and still have a hard time, then I will comfort you a lot. I will encourage you until you feel better and help you until the problem is solved. And afterwards I'll make you something like this, hot milk or whatever you like, hold you close until the tears stop, and go to sleep with you.

Then when morning comes, the two of us can work together again.

Instead of leaning on one person, let's take each other's hand and live together forever, supporting each other even when trials sometimes come our way.

You have always faced me with sincerity.

I will look straight back at you and respond to that that sincerity with my own.

Hey, my precious, I believe in your heart and mind.

So can you believe in me too? There is no room for hypocrisy in my feelings for you.

I will always be with you this year, next year, and no matter how many years pass, I will protect you no matter what happens.

I will continue to love you the best I can.

So don't ever leave me.

Please love me.

[aforrestofstuff]

Chapter 173 Expert Review: The "Hey, my boyfriend saw you across the bar and we really dig your vibe" Edition

The cover makes me so uncomfortable it's like I'm at a party and said something weird just as the music went quiet and everyone heard and they're all looking at me and everyone hates me and I'm so anxious and

Welcome to the Chapter 173 Expert Review! I have completely lost count of how many of these I've done. If you're coming here for a well-thought-out meta-commentary on the hit series franchise anime manga One Punch Man, then look elsewhere because I put a grand total of ten minutes of thought into this post that took me 45 minutes to write.

I hope you're all well. If you're new here from Twitter then yes, I'm really always like this and I apologize. I don't know how to segway to the actual commentary, so um......... here we gooooooo.....

I don't know what I was expecting. Could I have predicted that Murata would yassify Bofoi? Probably. Do I ever want to come to terms with the fact that he did? No.

Shut up I'm not saying anything. I'm not saying anything. I'm not. He looks like he's wearing those really oversized dentures at Party City. His head looks more like an egg than Saitama's. Why does he still look kinda.... no I'm not gonna say it. I'm not. I'M NOT. GET OUT OF MY HEAAADD RAAAAAAEERERARAAAAWW

I'D FUCK HIM!!!! I'D FUCK BOFOI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M TIRED OF PRETENDING HE'S NOT AN ENDEARING SORT OF UGLY OK IM SICK OF IT!!! I'M GONNA DESTROY HIS OLD MAN CERVIX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANNA FUCK HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How many enemies has Saitama made just by existing already. Is this number three? Sonic, God, and now Bofoi? Oh, well, I guess Saitama did fuck up his robots but that was self-defense 100% and it WILL hold up in the court of law.

Oh, okay. Now we have a better idea of the timeline since Saitama became a hero.... only two months???? Dude, I've had packages lost in the mail for longer than that.

I kinda thought he'd been a hero for at least six months. I guess what Garou said about coming back to fuck up the heroes after six months at the beginning of his arc was only a sort of red herring to make it seem like he'd be the world-ending Shibabooby prophecy, but in relation to how long Saitama's been a hero, turns out my guy only fucked shit up for like, what? One month?

Was this just obvious to everyone else except me. I really should've never learned how to read dawg.

THANK YOU Amai Mask for being the "Please explain the plot so readers with the comprehension skills of fourth graders can know what's going on" character in this because I swear to fucking god I had no clue what anyone was talking about.

Also, Ninja Leader makes an appearance as Blast's totally super platonic partner. Supposedly they were "searching for a mysterious cube" together. People these days make up such weird euphemisms for skipping work to fuck each other in a ditch, I swear. 🙄🙄🙄

A couple of things:

Is Blast wearing the Ninja Leader's glasses in the present? Oh, so they really were super platonic, huh.

You mean to tell me bro aged THIS MUCH in two years? 700 days ago he was late-twenties rager at Planet Fitness and now he's a 57-year-old salt and pepper daddy at the gay bar?

I guess it could have something to do with his powers, manipulating space-time and all that. Blast teleports through something that is basically a copy-and-pasted black hole, which could explain why time flows differently for him, but doesn't time slow down near a black hole? So he should be aging slower if anything.

So, did God age him? Is this even the same Blast that came in contact with God? Something something uuuhh time travel something something...

I don't fucking know. This could also just be a case of "Murata doesn't know how to draw people that look their age" although he's been getting better about that, at least... Just seems ODD to me that Blast has aged like an avocado in a manga where characters only seem to look younger as time goes by.

Very noble that he's fighting God alone with the Interdimensional Justice League and their Pocket Dimension Pool Table to protect everyone else. Something still feels fishy about this, though........ especially since he's a deadbeat ass dad in the webcomic. I don't trust a GODDAMN thing this boy has to say. I DONT CARE IF HE'S HOT!! And I think that is so brave of me.

Forrest has a theory and everyone's gotta hear about it a million times until he's proven otherwise.

Y'all already heard me say how God has one-sided beef with Saitama because Saitama broke the limiter God had placed on him, and I suppose that alone is still a decent reason for God to be pulled to Earth, but I still think God's full body (and power) is imprisoned in the dimensional seal Blast was screaming about as Saitama was fighting Monster Garou V2.

And Saitama's habit of fucking shit up as collateral for saving the world is further eroding God's jail cell, so he's unknowingly helping his enemy get closer to him. This fucking goober.

It makes sense because the massive body in the seal looks like a fully-formed person, whereas whenever we see God free, he's always a sort of unfinished skeletal figure. He's incomplete.

Is this another one of those things where it seems painfully obvious to everyone else except me. Y'all are free to hop in my inbox and call me a dumbass if you want.

Final thoughts because this review is already too goddamn long and I wanted to shitpost a bit more but I guess I can do that on other posts because I'm TIRED.

All in all, we really needed a good expo-debrief chapter to put everything in perspective because the Monster Association arc was a load of reveals with not a lot of resolutions. I think the ending was still very anticlimactic because, although we were introduced to a lot of shit like God and Blast and whatnot, none of that was really tied up in a satisfying way, nor left on an interesting cliffhanger. Just more and more questions. Even Garou's arc hasn't ended really, and all the development he and Saitama had gone through was forgotten (for NOW, because of Genos' core, but I digress) so it almost feels like... not much really happened at all. Nothing really ended, it was just a collection of more plot threads beginning.

I wish ONE waited a bit longer to really delve into God and Blast because I think the Monster Association arc could've been a lot more comprehensive and well-paced if it had just been (mostly) contained to what was happening between the heroes and monsters. But I can appreciate how comprehensive the plot is now after the fallout, just... the road to get here was rocky. I lost all the tires on my jeep.

I'm excited for Psychic Sisters.

In conclusion: if you were at the Whole Foods down the street and took a blue bike tied to the railing then you're a fucking bitch GIVE IT BACK!! THAT'S MY FUCKING BIKE!!

GIVE BACK MY FUCKING BIKE!!!!! YOU STOLE MY BIKE!!

p.s. -- I'm still waiting for the Zombiedad and Child Emperor Get Milkshakes Together omake. Murata, pls. Also give my bike back.

Thanks for reading. Please, I need my bike.