#I'm sorry I'm an angsty person

[drifting-stars-dipper]

what time is it? where am i? i've been looking for mabel for... how long? a year? no, probably closer to a week. i've seen so many things. worlds dead and gone now. worlds where i'm dead. where grunkle stan's dead. where everyone died. i've seen...

i've seen mabel's corpse more times than i care to admit.

i'm so tired. i can't do this much longer. why does she get the good side of the multiverse? the magic and color and light and worlds where cool stuff happens? why does she get the good? why do i get the bad? does someone just want me to... to suffer? some stupid god who wants me to see the worst in life?

i can't even go to bed anymore. i've tried. every time i do i see horrible things. everything i've seen. i know mabel, my mabel, is fine and okay, but i'm scared she isn't. i'm so tired. i...

i need to throw up or something.

[thestalwartheart]

Andrea Sacchi, Daedalus and Icarus (c 1645) // Charles Paul Landon, Icarus and Daedalus (1799) // Jacob Peter Gowy, The Fall of Icarus (1635-7) // Charles Baudelaire, The Complaints of an Icarus (1857).

For @mi6-cafe's Moodboard March theme: ambition.

[pokimoko]

The One-Way Waltz of the Moth and the Wild Flame (and the Incident of the Authorial Intrusion) - A Good Omens Fic

Written by pokimoko

Chapters: 1/1

Word Count: ~25K

Fandom: Good Omens (TV)

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley & Muriel (Good Omens), Crowley & Nina (Good Omens), Crowley (Good Omens) & Original Character(s)

Characters: Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale (Good Omens), Muriel (Good Omens), Original Characters, (who is technically not an original character but I've got to keep some secrets ;) ), Nina (Good Omens), Background & Cameo Characters

Summary: A story in which Crowley does not prevent forest fires, a radio sends out thoughts and prayers, an angel misuses the emergency contact, the local duck population invents socialism, trees are threatened to varying degrees of success, a waltz is indeed played, and an author considers the nature of tragedies.

Tags: Ineffable Divorce | Aziraphale and Crowley Break Up (Good Omens), Post-Break Up, POV Crowley (Good Omens), Emotional Hurt, He/Him Pronouns For Crowley (Good Omens), They/Them Pronouns for Muriel (Good Omens), Crowley & Muriel Friendship (Good Omens), Angst and Humor, Crowley-centric (Good Omens), Canon Continuation, Post-Season/Series 02, Post-Episode: s02e06 Every Day (Good Omens), Pre-Season/Series 03, No Aziraphale Slander Here but it is also Crowley's POV so expect at least some Thoughts, Angry Crowley (Good Omens), Running Away, Both in the Emotional and Literal Sense, Because You Don't Have to Deal with Your Romantic and Personal Issues in Washington State. Obviously, (incorrect: you very much do), Crowley is a Mess (Good Omens), (even if he won't admit it), Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), (another thing he won't admit), Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), They're just being stupid, Not A Fix-It, References to God(s), Romantic Angst, America, United States, Fire Lookout, Remember Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires (Unless You Are Anthony J. Crowley), hey is it healthy to repeatedly relive a past trauma to deal with a breakup? asking for a friend, Scene: The Bookshop Fire (Good Omens), Fire, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Isolation, When You're Trying to Cope Badly in the American Wilderness but People Keep Talking to You, Radio, Inspired by Firewatch (Video Game), Character Study, Crowley and the Woes of Being In a Narrative That Won't Let You Go, (Fleabag voice) This is a Tragedy, But oh? What's this?, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ambiguous/Open Ending

[prowerprojects]

Ok.

So, I've been thinking for this for quite a while. The Metal Virus. Or more so, Tails. Tails lost the cure for The Metal Virus, the thing everyone was counting on him for.

And now Sonic Frontiers, blaming himself for everything, being a burden to everyone.

Sonic Prime, Tails hiding his needs and wants from Sonic.

Would we say that Tails is going through some sort of anxiety or depression of his childhood trauma???

I think he's just going though childhood trauma period haha DX

But in a way, yeah. In the comics, it's hard to know what Tails thinks. He doesn't really get introspective moments unlike a lot of other characters. Maybe like a panel or two to show that he's still alive and has feelings, but nothing that would really get into him.

In Prime he also has like 3 minutes of screentime.

In the games... yeah. I've been saying that he's been in a downward spiral since Colors. And then it just kinda kept getting worse and worse. In Colors (this isn't really supported by the text of the game), it feels like Sonic and Tails are going on an adventure together like the old times, and Tails blows it. He opts to work on the translator instead of fighting, and then Sonic makes a quip about it, and while I don't think it really got to him at the moment, it might have felt worse looking back at it. Then he also gets mindcontrolled, which probably puts Sonic on edge so he pushes him out of the final battle, (when Tails is finally ready to fight).

And you can see Tails is still smarting from it in Lost World. (I did skip over Generations, but it doesn't really go into Tails. Plus, it's Sonic's birthday) His insecurity is turned up to eleven. He keeps talking himself up, trying to prove himself, and reacts very strongly when he thinks Sonic doesn't find him reliable, but in the end he kinda does manage to prove himself so it's all fine, right?

But then Forces comes in and it's like. You are unreliable. You did cause Sonic's death. You did run away instead of stepping up to protect the world afterwards. (He does step up later on but you can see in Frontiers that the initial events still deeply affect him).

It's not just Frontiers, it's all been building up. (But also kinda weird because Tails needs support, not go off on his own. Well maybe it'll help him clear his head. It is still good to take a break from Sonic specifically, because lately he's been basing too much of his self-worth on his opinion, so Sonic can't really help here no matter how hard he tries.)

So yeah I do definitely think Tails is going through some things if you look at it from the in-universe perspective. Though I don't think the writers meant to write it that way, it just kinda happened.

[nekomaidmordred]

idt there's ever a character that makes me just as happy as percival does .... i pretty much grew up w/ him (alongside mordred) so they both mean the world to me.

but percival hits different because his narrative is one that's deeply human and ground to earth. and also he's just silly and happy i always liked to explore the philosophy of kindness through him because percival to me always felt like such a kind, pure-hearted character. he's very human

and also he's just hilarious sometimes his stuff seriously reads off like medieval spongebob because of how unhinged he is. idk percival appreciation day i just love him

[firenati0n]

so I learned today that my dissertation that I thought I monumentally fucked up actually got the highest mark I could have achieved, and I am now the proud owner of a master's degree, and I may be getting fucking published, and a year's worth of tension and stress is finally starting to seep out of my body, and my nervous system can maybe have another fighting chance at regulating (unlikely), but—

The first thing my friends and family said to me was "proud of you!" and in the same breath they all, independently, said "you better also be proud of yourself" and then my mother said "your happiness always seems to be short-lived and fleeting, why is that?" and then she hit me with a "you stress yourself out to the point of illness and work yourself crazy only to enjoy none of the results" and—

boy howdy was I at a loss for words because she's right and i hate hearing my close friends and family echo the same sentiment of: I simply do not allow myself to enjoy any fruits of my labor???? I will bleed myself dry for validation and achievement and praise and love and then feel completely fucking insane for even wanting it in the first place.

It's why I stopped writing, why I abandoned so many threads. I wasn't getting any validation. I felt totally worthless.

and then I feel depths of shame previously unexplored at my Big Age for wanting some rest and peace (ironic that i beat myself up for wanting to recharge after I literally studied psych and wellbeing and the importance of rest!!).

I guess I just feel selfish for wanting to celebrate myself sometimes. And feel unable to be happy for myself because I hate boasting. So I'm going to hold myself accountable and say that I'm proud of all I've overcome to get to this point in my life, a point I did not anticipate being at 5 years ago, or even a year ago.

Onwards and upwards. 💛

p.s. I could not have finished that fucking dissertation without the emotional support of the gazillion rwrb fics I read throughout my writing process. I genuinely used ao3 as a coping mechanism and a rewards system for me to power through what was probably the hardest year of my life (for many reasons beyond academic).

to all of my writer/creator/artist/friend mutuals and the general rwrb fic/art community (I know you won't see this but i love you all the same), please know that any gratitude I express will never be enough. if I've ever screamed in your inbox or comments sections, know that it comes from a place of deep, genuine, at times debilitating emotion. y'all literally kept me afloat during some of the worst months of my life. You continue to keep me afloat. I don't know you, and you don't know me, but I know your words, and that is a privilege.

[another-clive-blog]

HI SYL WHAT ARE YOUR IDEAS FOR CLIVE WEEK???? asking for.... For a friend

And that friend is me ! :D Hi Vik !!!

(Just want to make it clear that I have never made any week prompts before lol, this is just what my sleep-deprived mind came up with yesterday xD )

Day 1: Family Day 2: Song/lyrics Day 3: Apologies Day 4: Valentine's day Day 5: Jack of all trades Day 6: AU/Crossover Day 7: Nuisance

[mad-hunts]

[littledreamling]

A Funeral for a Living Ghost

An excerpt from my upcoming ficlet about religion and mourning and the process of letting go

Hob Gadling had a bad habit of attending his own funerals.

It had started in the early 1500's. He had taken something of an extended vacation, traveling to the Holy City of Rome, finally restored to its former glory after languishing for years while the Papacy resided in France. When he had returned to London after twenty or so years, his beard grown in and his hair significantly lighter from the southern sun, he had been welcomed back by his neighbors as his own son. He had been forced to, on the spot, spin a tall tale about his dear father, who had met his demise under the hooves of a draft horse. The entire town, good Catholic Christians that they had been, had insisted on a funeral. Last rites and all, they had said, and Hob had been too touched to refuse. The majority of the attendees hadn't even known him; they had simply known of him, had heard stories from their parents about their old friend, Robert Gadling.

There hadn't been a body to bury, for obvious reasons, but he assured his neighbors, to the best of his ability, that the body of his father had been laid to rest in Rome. Not home soil, but holy soil nonetheless. Still, his neighbors insisted that there be, if not a funeral, a service. A commemoration of his life, of everything Robert Gadling had done for his community and once again, Hob was too touched to refuse.

The church had been quiet; the kind of quiet you could feel in your soul. It was the quiet of respect, of mourning, of a great and terrible sorrow. In that quiet, Hob Gadling found himself thinking of his own father, the father he truly had lost, and found that the stinging tears prickling at his eyes were as real as any he'd ever shed.

For the first time, he had allowed himself to mourn his friends; those he had known, the parents and grandparents of those who filled the pews of the church, those he had seen be born, those he had seen take their first steps and babble their first words, those he had attended weddings and funerals for. He had allowed himself to mourn that version of Hob Gadling, the name he would never wear again, the person he could never be again, the life he lived until he could live it no longer. He had mourned, and then he had left.

[quietlyblooms]

"you see what happens when you don't listen to me?!" ( from jai . . . OOF now listen... jai is one of those guys who can NEVER hold back an 'i told you so', so i feel like an argument could have potentially built from that? maybe he warned her abt something, she got inconvinieced by smth and now he's just being ass about it 😭 could end in some tension 👀 or not ! i dont mind either way~ )

confrontations & arguments | @metrictita picks a fight!

she doesn't want to hear this right now. she didn't come here for this, and now she's wondering what else she expected from jai. it's frustrating -- the fact that he was right, and the fact that he can't let it go while chiyo babies her feelings for a little while. even worse, her throat feels tight as disappointment and anger swell in her chest in a terrible, overwhelming mixture that makes it difficult to keep her mask on. she can't pretend she doesn't care. her misty eyes will give her away soon enough.

" i didn't come here for you to rub it in, " chiyo replies, tone pointed and sharp. she isn't facing jai, having turned around with half a mind to simply leave when he began his bout of i told you so, but the artist whips around then, gaze narrowed and tears clinging to her lashes. she advances upon jai and roughly prods his chest with her pointer finger, growing more heated as she speaks.

" i came here because for some reason, seeing you after a shitty day sounded like a good idea. i don't need to be told how right you were and how stupid i was because i fucking know that, jai. i know, and i--- "

chiyo's chest heaves as the words catch in her throat, tripping over each other to make it past her lips first. she hates herself for going against her better judgement, hates people for letting her down, hates that she can't seem to connect with others like a normal fucking person. she should stop trying, stop attending parties and mixers because jai is right. she doesn't like them, and nothing ever comes of them anyway. she often doesn't enjoy herself. she gets in a mood afterward. she...

she should go home. this entire day has been one, big mistake.

chiyo's hand curls into a fist, and it collides with jai's chest in a firm but harmless hit. her teeth sink into her bottom lip, and as she cranes her head back to meet his eyes, chiyo realizes she's much closer to jai than she meant to be. there's shame in knowing she doesn't want to move away, even as angry as she is. there's shame in knowing she still wants him to embrace her. there's shame in knowing she would swallow her pride for a minute if he'd just hold her.

" if you're upset with me, then fine. " chiyo hits jai again, weaker this time. her eyes stray to his beauty mark and then to his mouth before she's able to make eye contact again. " but you don't have to be an asshole about it. "

[penkura]

Now that I've dropped that bit of angst for the day, I'm going to start watching Blue Lock while I do some stuff for work. :)

[bluehairperson]

Imagine MC getting into an argument with Asra regarding him always being so secretive and fickle, and starting to descend more and more into paranoia and an identity crisis, wondering if what he says is even reliable at all.

Asra could pretty much just make up any fact about MC, even basic things like their name, age and birthday, and because of their amnesia MC would just have to take them as face value without having any way to disprove them if they were false. Asra could have made up who they are entirely.

[serenedash]

so I wasn't expecting my khux gameplay post to blow up this much because normally I just shout my khux thoughts into the void and that's that, but it's been really amazing and heartwarming seeing everyone's personal experiences with khux, like I can't say enough how much I LOVE looking at everyone's additions and tags :)

I had tried writing a long post about some khux feelings but it just wasn't coming out right. this post isn't about the game this is about me sorry tl;dr I'm a very anxious person and I love to see other people just as excited about khux as I am because I feel better about how much I like it. which is A Lot

[branw3lls]

a playlist for matthew fairchild 

[georgieluz]

sat down to work on the winnix i swore i was gonna finish this month and somehow opened up the lipluz project that's been driving me off the fucking rails the last two weeks and wrote 2k for that instead

[non-un-topo]

Fighting for my life trying to finish my next spooky fic before the tag gets busy on Halloween lol. Anyway it’s basically a noir / murder mystery with a slight (brotherly) Booker & Nicky angle, so I’m having fun.