#I'm tiered always stressed and doing many other things to fix this

[mynameisbillandimaheadcase]

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[mayasdeluca]

Could you rate Marina scenes but only.from s7.

Ik it wasnt perfect and kinda rushed but we had so many cute stuff

Sorry for the delay! This took some time and I'm still not sure of my ranking because some of these were tough. We did get some great scenes despite them ultimately doing Marina dirty in Season 7 IMO. A lot of stuff brushed under the rug/put in wordless montages that was really frustrating after waiting so long for certain storylines to wrap up and come to fruition but this is how I would rank them.

This would be my top 5 and then the rest under the cut:

7x04: truth or scared scene. so good. finally got to hear them express their fears to one another. (crazy how they all ended up becoming reality during the season) and then of course the cuddling scene at the end and carina sleeping in maya’s neck like we all knew she did <3 lovely to see and bonus that it was directed by Stefania.

2. 7x05: in maya’s bunk. top tier. everything about this scene is perfect. carina waiting for maya while wearing her sfd clothes. liam there. maya freaking out when she sees carina’s bloody shirt. carina having to tell maya she can’t get pregnant and maya immediately wanting to fix it and suggesting her eggs. maya finally speaking italian to her wife. i’m so glad we got this and in the 100th episode makes it even more meaningful <3

3. 7x10: we’re pregnant. two babies. i love this scene even if i wish we got more of an initial reaction to them finally seeing each other after all the wildfire stress. but the payoff of carina finally getting to tell maya she’s pregnant was beautiful and so special. the spinning kiss parallel to their proposal scene felt meaningful also. they finally had their moment <3

4. 7x09: i’d rather focus on my hot wife. 10/10 great scene. the foreshadowing of this is definitely evil but it's probably the sexiest thing we got of the season and didn't disappoint. Danielle and Stefania truly delivered as they always do when getting the material.

5. 7x01: Hi little Liam. We’d like to be your moms. I love this scene. Maya being the one to suggest adoption, saying they can still have their plans to get pregnant, listing all the reasons it makes sense for them. Carina being so happy and the way Maya looks at her at the end as Carina is looking at Liam and Liam looking up at both of them. I’ll always wish we got more of the beginning stages of Marina bringing Liam home from the hospital/introducing him to the team etc. but this scene was really good. The start of them finally becoming moms <3

Now the rest. I don't know if the 7x09 cliffhanger technically counts because they don't interact in it but I have to shout it out/put it close to the top because it's still so beautifully done and intertwined both of them together in such an amazing way. Just such a shame that they didn't pay it off that well.

6. 7x09: scene in kitchen. mutual i love you’s finally, the ultrasound picture on the fridge, maya wearing the jacket she wore when they first met. another great scene that gave us so many good things.

7. 7x05: FaceTime maya carina liam. super cute. we got probie and babe and maya in her class A’s. 

8. 7x08: opening montage scene of ivf process/embryo transfer. loved this scene, glad we got to see some of it on tv for once that just involved the two of them. i think out of all their wordless montage scenes in the season, this is the one that actually made sense to be a montage but some of us were so frustrated with them already having a lot of those scenes already that we wished there was dialogue. but i think it was nice seeing the process being done, the way they were looking at each other with complete heart eyes, maya holding carina’s hand every step of the way and then carina explaining things to maya on the ultrasound photo. and i love that it was the first scene of the episode. and then the transition to them at the clinic and maya being all protective of carina moving heavy things? 10/10

9. 7x07: scene in the beginning with liam is adorable. maya testing carina for her meeting about the lawsuit, maya and liam both crying and carina comforting them both. all it was missing was a kiss of some sort, don’t know why they didn’t add that. also carina calling herself mommy felt wrong

10. 7x04: getting locked out of the house. peak comedy. carina saying she wants to fight. love seeing them bicker like an old married couple lol "i’m married to maya bishop, of course my car is locked"

11. 7x06: at the clinic. maya being all smitten at the idea of carina being pregnant. i’m so glad we at least got this since we never got to see maya around a pregnant carina…we were so robbed of that

12. 7x08: over protective maya about the embryo transfer at the clinic and wanting carina to take it easy…adorable. the little bits we got of her being that way since we didn’t get to see it while carina was actually pregnant but i love that carina also reassures her she’s fine and still capable of doing things.

13. 7x09: in the tent, worried wives and ‘see you at home’ short but sweet

14. 7x09: texting scene. lasagna mention. super cute and bonus carina/liam cuteness 

15. 7x06: joe’s bar. annoyed they cut the kiss which was a theme this season but i really liked this scene. maya being a cute yapper while carina amusingly listens to her wife and them talking about mason and their parents and bringing it back to them having their own kids. carina telling maya she’s going to be a good mom…it was just a cute married domestic scene at their place.

16. 7x01: talking about getting house. Carina saying ‘your apartment’ stings even if I get she’s saying it because of the bad memories. seeing Carina with Liam in the beginning and Maya saying she did everything she could to save his bio mom was cute. our house. our home. this scene is cute but the fact that they didn’t just let them kiss properly is annoying and then we got the awkward angle instead. 

17. 7x08: in the lounge talking about liam and the bio dad. love how carina leans into maya’s chest and maya kisses the top of her head. wish it wasn’t so quick but it was a nice scene

18. 7x02: Carina getting sued: Maya being supportive of Carina from the jump was cute and the little touches throughout the scene was so them. and Maya basically making sure everything was taken care of and leading the way once they got the call to get Liam? my heart

19. 7x04: discussing attachment parenting and their different styles. i found this scene to be very interesting and to hear maya's POV of why she felt the way she did and it made sense for her stance to be what it was while carina felt the opposite. thought it was nice to hear them talk about it in a healthy way despite them disagreeing.

20. 7x04: the fight in liam’s room. lots of mixed feelings with this scene. i know people think Carina always pushes Maya too hard but i also think she should be able to talk about the tough things with her wife at times. it shouldn’t just be a ‘therapy’ thing when Carina is just trying to figure out where Maya is coming from. it’s also interesting to me how Maya always goes to bring up Carina’s father whenever she gets confronted with something by Carina, i wish that was something that was addressed. i also understand Maya is still working on herself and so getting defensive and walking out is still something she does and i don’t blame her for that. but part of me does wish we would have gotten to see them grow from this as it was already a step in the right direction after the fighting in season 3 (and we all know how maya handled that) but to finally get to see them ‘fight’ and discuss something without Maya walking away. 

21. 7x08: marina walking into the engagement party and telling the team about being on track to adopt liam. glad we got this moment and the team being happy for them. 

22. 7x02: Marina Clinic Scenes (I’m just grouping them altogether as one since they weren’t technically alone for any of them but still had some moments) love the look Carina gives Maya when she says “That’s what I said” about never having kids. Carina helping Maya with her gown, seeing them work together to figure out the illness the woman had, it was nice seeing them work together in that element like that (though i still think it was a missed opportunity for them to deal with a contagious situation and one of them catching something/worrying about liam but there was already a lot going on plus the suing situation at the end)

23. 7x04: Maya with the drill in the beginning. Carina with liam was adorable but it felt a little forced that Carina just couldn’t get a diaper herself lol

24. 7x07: end scene. having the box hit Maya’s boobs so they can’t kiss? stupid and unnecessary. only good things were the hand holding and amore mio. the double standards between all the couples sex scenes were trash as we’ve all said. 

25. 7x10: the flash forwards. idk if these count but they were fine. Maya’s showing them both giving birth was unexpected but i am glad we got the vision of carina giving birth to their baby. Carina’s only showing some weirdly placed photoshoot was underwhelming though.

26. 7x02: bringing Liam to the station…the fact that this was just a wordless montage really upsets me. I think this moment deserved way more. I get that it was Jack’s moment/episode but Marina had been waiting for this for so long and we deserved to see them excited and having the team excited with dialogue that they were finally bringing their baby home with them. 

27. 7x03: montage scene(s) - if these even count…I think we all know how ridiculous it was that this it the only content they got in the Pride episode and while it was sweet seeing the three of them in their new home and getting to dance and have their moment as a family…they deserved so much better and so much more. 

[dlamp-dictator]

I've been thinking about Tsubaki Yayoi a bit lately. She was my main throughout most of the Blazblue series for her simple and straightforward gameplan and Julie Ann Taylor honestly knocking it out of the park voicing her.

But namely, I've been thinking about the fact that she was originally meant to be a lesbian in love with Noel.

You'd have to do a bit of digging for the information -and take my words with a grain of salt- but I believe Toshimichi Mori, the creator of Blazblue, had said at some point Tsubaki was originally meant to be in love with Noel Vermillion, the main heroine of the game, to the point of confessing her love at some point. This was later scrapped for a romance with Jin since the storyline apparently couldn't line up well enough for that, but also apparently the idea of having a lesbian/non-straight female was so strong that they created the canonically bisexual Makoto Nanaya to fill in that LGBT gap.

And this has always fascinated me. The romantic undertones of Jin and Tsubaki's relationship honestly felt pretty half-baked since the game's story was pushing the two having a more platonic sibling relationship than a romantic one, and while Tsubaki's relationship with Noel is definitely more intense than a typical friendship it's also hard to claim her to be a closeted lesbian since it doesn't go all the way. And... I wanted to talk about that for a little bit.

But first, a synopsis... well, of sorts anyway. Blazblue's a bitch to go in depth about lore-wise.

To spare everyone a long as fuck summary, Blazblue's story can be summarized as the main cast locked in various timeloops and alternate dimensions trying to figure out how to break out of them. Some characters know more than others, and Tsubaki is more of a layman, someone that's clueless about the timeline stuff, but also in the center of it due to her family's rank in the political landscape of the setting, and her abilities as a top-tier fighter. She's at the center of a lot of major events but is never too deeply involved despite her position claiming otherwise. Some of this is due to Blazblue's wonky writing from Chronophantasma onward, some of this is due to her just honestly having nothing to do outside of being that layman and representative of the elite class of Blazblue's world.

And now, a disclaimer.

I want to stress this analysis/discussion is not some weird fix-fic, me trying to explain a ship, or me thinking I can write better than those at ASW, I'm just a nerd having some fun and this little side comment hasn't left me head in years. If you must, think of it as a similar vent/discussion to my Tomodachi Game post. I'm just... getting this off my chest in as organized a fashion as I can.

Now then, let's break this down a little on how to make this work.

Tsubaki's General Story

To keep things brief (and also because I talked in depth about it here), Tsubaki's story is one of tragedy and deconstruction, a warning to those who blindly follow the ideals and rules of others, along with a breakdown of the 'Yamato Nadeshiko' archetype within many pieces of Japanese media. Tsubaki, believing that unquestioningly following the orders and beliefs of her family to the letter, was left to be used and manipulated as tool for others, to the point of being all but enslaved by her originally lofty ideals. With the right words to twist her perfect black-and-white world gray and the right target to vent her frustration on, she was willing to go so far as to kill her surrogate brother and her best friend because she was unable to think for herself and ultimately decided if push came to shove she's kill anyone that distorted her pure and straightforward worldview. And as she learns how wrong this view of things is she starts looking inward to try finding her own justice, her own goals and way of life.

This (to me) culminates in Tsubaki's Izayoi arcade mode in Chronophantasma, where in her last stage she meets Noel, the friend she tried to kill in a jealous rage one game ago, and finally admits her insecurities and doubts about herself, along with her secret hatred and jealousy of Noel, laying out everything before demanding Noel fight her in a serious duel without holding anything back so she can finally, truly laying out all of her emotions bare and see just what's inside her heart. Light, darkness, and everything in between that she was blinded to.

To me, that ends Tsubaki's narrative in the main story, but there's technically a fourth game that finishes out the story as a whole.

To briefly go over the events in Central Fiction, the short version is that in the main story there's an in-universe semi-reboot of the series and Tsubaki is back to square one in terms of her development. The plot breaks off depending on the canon story or the arcade story. The canon story has her semi-cured of the reboot memory wipe and she agrees to help the main cast with her abilities. Though none to pleased about helping Ragna, she pushes past that for the sake of helping Jin and Noel instead.

The arcade mode switches things up though, following the trail of her Izayoi arcade ending in terms of tone. Both her Tsubaki and Izayoi arcade modes follows similar beats to each other, but branches slightly depending on the character chosen, both ultimately ending with her deciding that she'd rather protect her friends than her ideals, even if it means denying and fighting against the simple and straightforward world she wanted and the heroes she respected. More or less the final evolution of her character arc after Chronophantasma's arcade ending.

Now here's a few facts about Tsubaki that blurb didn't explain since that's all the story stuff:

Tsubaki comes from an extremely wealthy & traditional family that put a lot of societal pressures on her.

Tsubaki is the product of inbreeding (yes, this is important to note) and is simply the first child of her generation to survive her birth.

Tsubaki has a childish view of justice at her core, despite her maturity due to her family's background.

Putting all that together Tsubaki comes from a very conservative family, but once she went to the military academy outside of her family's powerful influence she met up with people from different walks of life and was able to expand her views and experiences. Yes, I'm reaching a little too deeply into this, but I'm also a nerd, it's kinda' what I do. I also think it's important to break down a character to a relatable point so we have a good frame of the writing. You can only make a character so fantastical before they become an un-relatable, cartoonish caricature of a concept like 90% of long-running shounen and modern isekai, the characters just don't feel real or engaging outside the power fantasy.

But back on point. Throughout Tsubaki's story in Continuum Shift we learn that despite her experiences in the military academy that they still don't trump her family's strict views of justice and tradition. We also know that in the blurb explaining how the Yayoi family works that Tsubaki is not only likely the last pureblood Yayoi, but is also likely going to be the last of her family line, at least to the level of purity it has now. This likely puts massive pressure on her to maintain a certain level of traditionalism and decorum expected of her. Along with this, she has her military duties as well, being an assassin/secret police for her government.

Okay, but What About the Lesbian Thing?

Right, I got a little sidetracked going over video game lore.

This is actually pretty easy to explain. A lot of Tsubaki story is about accepting yourself at the end of the day. The good, the bad, the light, and the dark. Tsubaki has been to both extremes, blinded by light and ideals, her feelings for Jin and jealousy toward Noel were her main undoing. On the surface this feels like Tsubaki is very much straight due to her obsession with Jin, and the game really wants you to believe that.

But... it doesn't really work.

Sorry folks, but I'll have to talk about lore again and my own theorizing here.

Tsubaki's love of Jin is more that of a platonic sibling/cousin than a true romance. The games and even comic series make it very clear that Tsubaki's idea of love is very... Disney, to put it one way. She does love Jin, she truly does, but it's more as an object of a affection than loving Jin for who he is. She loves the idea of being with Jin, the idea of being married to the war hero and all around praised Jin Kisaragi. She loves being with Jin, working with Jin, being Jin's number two and the ideal warrior princess to go with his prince.

But.

But... that's really where it starts and ends. Jin's honestly just another ideal in Tsubaki's black and white world. The object of her affection. I mean hell, despite it being years later and her being implied to have romantic feelings for him, Tsubaki still calls Jin her brother, and Jin himself pushes that fact. And I mean that quite literally as in the Japanese dub of the game Tsubaki consistently refers to Jin with the somewhat childish honorific 'Jin-nii-sama' even as a woman in her early twenties. The love that's there is one of an eager sister wanting to be with her older brother, not a longing lover wanting to be with the one she cares about. And... like, more over, Jin's kind of an asshole outside of Tsubaki. With Tsubaki he is kind, gentle, and even somewhat princely because Tsubaki is one of the few people that can push past his abrasive attitude and see the hardworking, intense, noble man he truly is under all that arrogance and hostility. But everyone else gets caustic, acidic, abrasive attitude, and even Tsubaki is only so immune to it, past relations or not.

Now, to put the spin back to Noel. Tsubaki's relationship with her is a bit... odd. Tsubaki said it herself in her Izayoi arcade mode. Noel is very much like a rabbit. She's cute, jumpy, and quick to flee from danger. She's a cute girl that needs to be protected, and Tsubaki very much does protect her in her Central Fiction arcade modes. With Noel we see a gentleness and kindness that Tsubaki doesn't spare many people. She's kind and professional to most folk, but with Noel it truly feels like she's going out of her way to be extra welcoming, partly because Noel herself is so sensitive and partly just... well, out of love for her.

I mean folks, I'm gonna' drop the professionalism and analysis here and just say things straight out. Daisuke Ishiwatari made the Tsubaki vs. Noel theme before he made the Tsubaki vs. Jin theme, and the emotions in Memory of Tears, especially the remix, are just a lot more intense than in Childish killer. Izayoi's Chronophantasma arcade ending had Tsubaki go full shounen and straight up had her punching out her feelings and emotions toward Noel in a no-holds-barred duel against her, a duel she had to coax Noel into like convincing your crush to just go on that one date at the rowdy bar that serves great chicken. The Alter Memory anime dub straight up had Noel admit that she (platonically) always loved Tsubaki despite her faults. In fact, a lot of Noel's lines and feelings toward Tsubaki could be read as sapphic in the right light. We can debate if Tsubaki has feelings for Noel, but Noel definitely has some feelings about Tsubaki, platonic or not.

Jin and Tsubaki's relationship was pushed to be more brother-sister than lovers ever since Chronophantasma. Even the writers didn't really wanna' ship that, despite the hints and implications.

But... yeah, getting back on topic.

The key idea here is that for all the implications of Tsubaki and Jin being a couple there's a lot more implying that Tsubaki and Noel have a more complicated relationship than implied.

So... Why Wasn't It Canon?

I was originally going to put together than outline of how I'd have this hypothetical story go, but... well, like I said, I'm not really in the wheelhouse of doing fix-fics for a myriad of reasons. It's going to be a lot better to explain why, despite implications and some easy tweaks here and there, why Tsubaki and Noel our ultimately just girl-friends instead of girlfriends.

Again, it was already explained that they just couldn't make the plot work, but... I also think there are some other reasons why as well. Mind you, this is all just theory crafting on my part. But with all that said...

Not the Focus: This one's pretty simple to explain. Tsubaki and Noel, while important characters to the story, aren't the main character. By Chronophantasma and especially Central Fiction this series becomes the Ragna Show and their relationship would had detracted and distracted from that main story of Ragna the Bloodedge's finale.

Lack of Confidence: Blazblue, much like Guilty Gear, is rather progressive all things considered when you look beyond the horny as hell female designs. That said, I believe the writers made it clear in interviews that they aren't confident in writing romance stories in general (look at the botched nightmare of Litchi and Arakune/Roy's storyline for an example of that) and a lesbian romance story would had been... rough, to put it politely. We all saw how rowdy the Guilty Gear fandom got when they got a Trans and Nonbinary character after all. It took weeks, took months before things settled down. I don't blame Team Blue for being hesitant to pulling the Lesbian Lever there.

LGBT Reps Already Existed: Like I said, Makoto was made to fill the LGBT gap that was Tsubaki's original storyline, but we also got Amane who's canonically gay, Mai who's canonically trans, and possibly Azrael being either bi or asexual depending on how you want to view him. In terms of actual, proper LGBT representation there was already enough, at least in terms of visibly showing it, and wheeling back on the already implied straight romance of Tsubaki and Jin would had made things... messy.

Enough Plotlines: Central Fiction really screwed the pooch on a lot of ideas, but there were enough faltering subplots already. Adding more would had been a pain if I'm being frank. I... don't have a high opinion of Central Fiction's storyline outside the Ragna stuff if I'm being frank about.

So... What Now?

With all that said... what now? I just wanted to talk about it really. But who knows, maybe I'll write up that little fanfic after all. This is just too interesting to not try taking a stab at, but that'll be for a later date.

In any case, I'll se you folks later.

[velveetawabbit]

Why Are Parent's Such Incredible Fuckheads?

Good Afternoon, Void, hope your continued existential crisis is going well enough.

I work in SpEd as a paraprofessional (the ones you see supporting in classrooms most of the time, and also teaching in those little classrooms) and it's a joy, especially because I'm with the littles~

Some of these kids may be actual assholes, but currently they aren't going to always be like that if we give them the needed skills every human should have to function. There's many parents who are stupendous advocates who see us as allies so we can both help each other succeed, but there's always a handful that HATE their Special Needs child. The type who are first to drop of their child, and always late to pick them up. The type who blame everyone for any issues they have, even ones they are refusing to accept help to fix.

There are parents who've barked at us for "parenting" their child, but are clearly mentally ill (consistent delusions of grandeur, insists the family is exceptional geniuses who have been studied by the government. The kid's failing in many subjects and parents demand we better support their child, but also forbid us from any negative consequences. "Our child learns more from positive reinforcement" is the reasoning, but pretty sure they just don't give a shit about their kid and think this move will keep us from calling them almost daily as that is the last tier in the negative consequence cake we dig through with this kid. That kid must've had a hollow leg or some shit, they're an expert at bothering others and being a giant "look at me, I'm so funny hahahaha" piece of shit.

I don't think parents realize that those kids will have that naturally resolved by bullying later in life, or isolation. I promise you, most teachers try real hard, but not everyone will tell on their bullies, and some of those bullies are really good at keeping it subtle and really passive aggressive. [My anecdote is how when I was in elementary, the girls in my class bullied me by never talking to me outside of commands and letting (making) me carry their bags and follow them around at recess. Teachers never caught on and stopped it because I too was a SpEd kid and didn't have any clue until hindsight kicked in. To them it likely looked like I was happy doing all of that, because back then I was, but yeah I was super bullied in passive aggressive ways like that]

Shame is natures consequence to inappropriate behavior, and I dislike any parent setting their kid up to fail by convincing them it's fine to be "shameless". Can it hurt their feelings sometimes? Stress them out or make them cry? Yes! They will face this even more harshly as adults, so it's very good that they have these experiences while there's lot's of learning time for them. As a parent, your kid will only have as good as self esteem as you give them, which requires effort and time and money, which a LOT of parents, especially in Utah, don't generally have.

Seriously, I feel so bad that some of my students are being molded into "that kid", you know, the weird or annoying kid you always hated because they made school harder for you? Yeah, being helpless to try and curb that behavior is maddening. I really think people should pass a fucking test to have kids, I am exhausted dealing with narcissistic, lazy, entitled, ignorant (your child isn't a retard, and neither are any of my other students, you miserable cow), aggressive, and helpless parents.

Yeah... that's how the first week back from winter break has been!

Yay~! /s

To add to my struggles, I also live in a religious pile of shit, it's a state called Utah, and as someone who is non-religious there are so many things that are normalized here that boggle the mind. One of them of which

I

L O A T H E

Many of the parents here will ruin the fun of two dozen kids because their dumbass thinks coloring a picture of a witch will suddenly make them worship Satan, or watching Harry Potter will make them turn to witchcraft, all sorts of dumb shit. Bruh, they're kids and YOUR kids, if you think coloring a picture or seeing a movie will so easily damage your teachings, then maybe your teachings are really weak in reasoning.

But I digress, the main theme of today's post:

Why Religious People Need To Leave The Arts Alone: A memoir

So, living in Utah my entire life, I've been stuck dealing with a bunch of sheltered babies in the bodies of teenagers and adults. The kinds of people who find offense in the most basic parts of humanity, those feeble minded fucks who imagined up VidAngel, you know. Pearl clutching snowflakes who think they can control the human experience and lives of others.

You see this en masse in the arts. Really, and I don't understand WHY.

Now, you see, at first you'd think "Huh, what's wrong with religious people expressing themselves? They have just as much a right to do so!" but that's not where they stop, they go on to rip up other peoples hard work, they go full Chinese government on musicals and movies and shows, it's aggravating.

It's one thing to not want your kid to swear, that's fine, there's tons of replacement words. It doesn't change that we all know what swear word it's supposed to be, but whatever helps you sleep at night.

The rest of their requests are spineless bullshit.

Mormons have some fucking gripe with shoulders, you'd think they were actually puritans with how fucking out of their way they go to make even non religious people dress to their standards. So any costumes that were sleeveless, strapless, halter topped, or any sort of thing shorter than a cap sleeve, those costumes were fucked up by having sleeves either added, or you had to wear a fucking t shirt under it. (Do you know how fucking lame it felt to tap dance in a super pretty and really cool flapper girl dress, but have on a fucking black tshirt underneath that made the dress catch on my torso funny? I felt like I was six, not seventeen.)

They got a problem with men having facial hair or long hair in general, you know, the Disney standard. That's changed some a bit in the last few years at least. (To be that bitch, I'm ever so mildly annoyed that of course it's the men's issues that are relaxed first.)

The last biggest thing is the aversion of anything romantic/sexual, ESPECIALLY if between unmarried people. I agree with the sexual stuff, no, the sixteen year old doesn't need to shake her tits or ass at the audience like an adult would preforming this role.

But to have a stroke over, GASP, the mention of premarital relations is fucking obnoxious.

Now, the trigger for this bitching:

I volunteer to help with our schools show choir. It's great, there's a lot of kids clearly more in it because their parents have a desperate need for vicarious living (I empathize kiddos), but overall a gaggle of A-for-Effort and You've-Been-Training-Your-Whole-Life-For-This kids who make ya smile. We're prepping the set list for the spring concert, and today our finalizing was fucking ruined. Why?

Because Grease Lightning is inappropriate for children, somehow. No seriously, we'd already done a rough run to see how the kids liked it (you know, they gotta like it to perform it) and they all LOVED it! So exciting! "We're gonna get to wear leather jackets?!?!?!?!" "A car race?!!??!" "We're gonna look so cool!!!!!" "SOLO'S WOOOO!!!"

Lot's of energy, simple arms and legs and all of that to get a good rough sketch of what it might look like several months from now, kids love it, and the key we found is in their range! Hell yes! Our musical review flavored show choir concert was set!

But nooooo, no no, Grease Lightning is not appropriate. Just the song.

We don't like, watch the show or give any much context, the kids don't really need it to sing and dance. They can barely do that at the same time and you think these poor kiddos are trying to balance a proper CHARACTER on top of it? Let's set them up for success please, lol.

But Utah legit has a fucking problem with those kinds of shows: Grease, Footloose, Bye Bye Birdie, all of those classics that are fun, spunky, energetic, but still a bit of conflict and angst, easy entertainment!

Drinking. Smoking. Swearing. Pretending to be drunk or otherwise inebriated. Pretending to kill/attack someone. All of it is pretend, fake, but also not shit they don't see in the real world. There's still beer ads and alcohol usage in many many many places, even in songs the parents LET THEM LISTEN TO w h a t.

There's still smokers, and vapers, and now there's even fucking weed!

People still wear tube tops and short shorts and all sorts of revealing shit just to be comfortable, especially in a DESERT.

There's swearing everywhere, but also your kid for sure, 100% knows what all the swear words are, because the parents that don't give a shit if their kids know tell them. Idiots.

And the fake violence is literally ALL these cute little shits do: Cops and robbers, soldiers/army, Squid Games, Death touch, Monster destruction, huggywuggy chase, they do all of that every recess. Then the video games, and you know, cartoon violence in general, so seriously, suck my metaphorical dick on that sort of pearl clutching.

I hate that next week I'm going to have to tell them the song has been cut, and I wish we could fucking single that parent out, because it's only O N E parent (technically set of parents, out of 46) who disagrees with the song in it's current child friendly form.

Remember all those "Oh fuck you" moments where one piece of shit person ruined it for everyone, but only because the authority permitted it? Like that one kid keeping everyone in from recess, or the one kid keeping kids from getting through their lessons at a decent pace because the teacher has to keep stopping to fucking deal with them? The ones that made you heave a groan and roll your eyes and hate your teacher?

Yeah, that's this, but some 3rd party fuck who inserted their kid into performing while apparently not realizing that their entire gripe with it is fucking insane and unrealistic, which is ironic considering that it's all about fictitious little stories.

I want these shit ass parents to understand that in a perfect world, they wouldn't be allowed to reproduce because God would've made them sterile. (Proof he doesn't exist lmao)

They're people who prefer ignorance, plus more insultingly AND worryingly, try to force this ignorance onto others. It's not like some food allergy, it's a fucking choice to pitch a bitch fit about innocuous things, and I'm tired of dealing with the parents, as a teenager trying to enjoy performing in High School (And feeling like a loser when my costume had to have some fucking tshirt underneath it) and then in College where the Department Head enforced it because "the community wouldn't agree to this sort of thing", and now as I teach and support students myself, I'M the poor fuck who has to be the bad guy and ruin fun shit for kids.

I seriously wish people like this would just fucking homeschool then, if they're so concerned about their child being heavily sheltered. You've sent them to fucking P U B L I C S C H O O L you moron. Just because the activity or curriculum is "heathen" free doesn't mean your kid isn't surrounded by heathens constantly, making friends with them, learning bad words and potty jokes, and all sorts of shit.

But I suppose that just religious people in general. (Those of you who aren't like these kinds of losers know who you are, obviously. But of course the ones who need to hear it most never fucking listen)

I've met tons of normal people who, even having served a mission and been incredibly devout, shed their garments to properly perform, dance, swim- just like anyone else. To them it's no different from any uniform. Just as in some careers you must get very dressed up, some you need to be dressed down. I just want to publicly shame these imbeciles, because clearly no one did it early enough to correct the behavior naturally when they were younger.

Most times, luckily, the kids don't really know what they're missing. But man to see those kids and how poorly they function as adults, and how easily taken advantage of they are, it kills me. I could prevent it, we could all prevent it, but no, in sixteen whatever some unlikable puritan fucks got kicked out of every country willing to house them, so they went to somewhere "uninhabited" to be fucks by themselves, then unwitting travelers and immigrants got suckered in by them or even just their community habits spread out more and more and spawned a whole bunch of baby religions or bumped them up to popularity, and now we're here. I hate H E R E.

But, as it goes,

I'll deal with it using as much grace as available to me, and find a new way to get the kids pumped. We've decided to just let the kids give us suggestions and see if maybe some of them might have plausible ideas! We think it'll help them perk right up. Silver lining~

Enjoy the mouthful, Void, it's been fun, see you when I see you~

[the-ghost-in-your-curtains]

Rory Keaner is the pinnacle of My Type™️ and he is the best character that ever has and ever will be created.

He gets so excited about everything, literal dog energy

Very gullible, he's just a himbo. No thought brain empty only squirrel

The fuckin thing where he just starts floating when he's in love/really happy?

He uses super speed for everything and I think that's hilarious. Vampire Ninja at it's finest. (Added bonus: people/vampires being freaked at his speed and timing is hilarious)

The implications behind his use of being vampirized. He chooses to eat primarily small animals (squirrels) and instead of malicious intent, he has trickster energy. Man just wants to have fun with his friends, and he can do so much more all the time now. His increased durability and immortality is used to do Epic Pranks and fuck around. That's lovely.

He really just wants to help his friends and hang out. When they were hijacking the evil vampire car, his full intent was to help Ethan by removing him from the situation. This is made prevalent throughout the series, with him constantly trying to assist his friends and just hang out.

Even though he's really dumb, I refuse to believe he's not that gullible. I like to believe he knows he's being manipulated or lied to. He chooses to ignore it because he sees the best in people and loves his friends. If that means being comic relief, the punching bag for insults, and constantly blamed for shit, that's fine. (Or he's just a hugh-tier himbo, either is good)

He's the cause of (or escalator) of many issues and shenanigans throughout the series. But nothing's ever done with ill intent, he does things and caused things but he always tries to fix them. (Like when he accidentally created a super-species of jock alligator that started breeding and murdering people everywhere, he just wanted to raise his Floridian iguanas)

He's so forward it's embarrassing to watch but incredibly charming. He calls every girl he sees babe and shills so hard all the time. He gets new crushes every other day, but never breaks a heart. (Probably because I don't think anyone genuinely liked him back the entire series.)

When he gets anywhere with any crush he does the floating thing, which is just adorable. Occasionally he also flashes his fangs on accident, (it's a miracle that he hasn't been staked through the heart yet.) But he does it out of happiness and I love that

He openly enjoys things, like his favorite bands and movies. He has no shame in expressing his emotions or thoughts. (Which gets him in trouble but it's alright)

I cannot stress how kind he is, he always jumps in to help when he can, and can barely take a hint. (I'm thinking of the werewolf jock episode here, the "garlic and tanning bed convention" excuse hurt me in my soul) But despite this very clear "fuck off", he jumps in to save his friends with zero hesitation.

Thank you for listening, Rory Keaner is amazing.

[maryellencarter]

(I have cropped any personally identifying information out of the pictures for obvious reasons.)

So here's all the information I have at the moment on the Bonus Situation.

* To recap, the bonus projection software has been telling me for a couple weeks now that I would get a $96.06 bonus. Normally in the past this has occurred on the second paycheck of the month.

* Many of us have noticed the bonus projection software not updating properly since about October 4.

* I called IT the other day and filed a ticket about the frozen bonus projections, on advice from a friend on the support team.

* Today, or rather yesterday by the time I'm writing this, I got my electronic pay stub for the payday coming up this Friday, and discovered that it was unexpectedly short, specifically because the bonus listed on it was $12 instead of $96.06.

* I emailed my supervisor about the shorted bonus. She has forwarded the email up the chain of command but has no firm information yet. We will not both be at work again till Sunday, so I will hear no more from her on the issue till then.

* Later in the afternoon, I received the above email, from the admin in charge of the bonus projection software. Several things are hinky about this email. To wit:

* "The data for the M[onth] T[o] D[ate] numbers has been paused as of early this month because they are used for the calculating of the monthly bonuses, which is still being worked on." I am not here to criticize Mr Admin's grammar, but to point out that this is a blatantly flimsy excuse, for the extremely simple reason that there is a whole separate tab for last month's bonus data, and in fact that tab is still fully functional and showing my $96.06 bonus! It is this month's daily tracking of bonus data which has been frozen.

* Granted, if one were to admit the concept that the bonuses were still being calculated, it could be taken to explain why I'm only getting a $12 bonus on my paycheck. However, the bonuses were calculating themselves in realtime for the whole of September, and the last metrics finalized themselves on October 7. In the week since then, I could have calculated the bonuses for the entire bloody company using nothing more than my smartphone calculator and paper if I was given a paid 40-hour week to do it in, let alone having a software that was already displaying the answers!

* Also, you know, the software has never before needed to be frozen while last month's bonuses are "calculated", let alone a week after the metrics were finalized. And it has always previously told me accurately whether it was going to send me a $500 bonus or none, or something in between. This is, in short, fishy.

* Mr Bonus Admin goes on to state, "You should still be able to access the daily values" (I can't), "but the monthly ones will not update, and in fact should now not show up at all, until the work to change the scorecard and bonus structure is done. That activity should hopefully be done next week."

* The other picture besides the email is the completely blank screen where my outdated bonus projection resided until today. The one about the metrics I'm currently getting for October, not the one about the $96.06 bonus I was supposed to get for September, which may I remind you is still quite visible.

* "Your numbers are wrong? Boom, NO MORE NUMBERS! There, I fixed it." XD

* The referenced "work to change" the software has not been announced to workers at my level in any way, and no changes that could possibly involve shutting down the whole system have been made or announced. I am frankly Suspicious.

* Other agents have also said things about missing bonuses or confusing bonuses. One supervisor announced that the bonuses would not show up till our Halloween paycheck, which I could hypothetically swallow, if I didn't have a $12 bonus sitting there in black and white on this week's pay stub. Seems like there's a lot of misinformation floating around right now. (Also a certain amount of what smells very like disinformation.)

* So, lacking any information what is actually going on, and faced with an email that would have to put on black tights and a domino mask to look any more disingenuous, my brain is going for all the wildest explanations, like "The system has glitched out completely and is assigning random bonuses to everybody, and they're frantically trying to cover while they get it fixed", or even more dramatically, "Maybe the company can't afford to pay all our bonuses and is retroactively revamping the bonus system, and it was supposed to be done in time for payday but they're running late, and also maybe they really are only going to give me $12". That seems slightly less likely though because they did just give me, on the same paycheck, $28.08 in backdated raise.

* I'm also stressing the fuck out about bonuses in general because I had a really bad stats day today. A disgruntled gentleman (whose account was legitimately pretty thoroughly fucked by a previous incompetent agent) gave me a low survey, which busted me straight down from the $2/hour bonus tier to the 50¢/hour bonus tier. If my other numbers are really good for the whole rest of the month I can maaaaybe struggle my way back up to the $1.25/hour bonus tier. :P

* I also only took 9 calls today, averaging a half hour each (not counting outbound callbacks after various calls dropped), which fucked my call length for the month from the truly astonishing 795 seconds I'd been running, just under the wire for an additional 50% on top of my bonus, all the way up to 901 seconds, where I'm barely scraping by under the cutoff for having my bonus cut in half. I'd have to come in under 700 seconds every day for the rest of the month to recover from that, and I can't recover from the flunked survey at all.

* So, you know, I've gone from expecting a $96.06 bonus on Friday and hoping for a $474 bonus next month, to getting a measly $12 bonus, a runaround from tech, and maybe a $79 bonus next month if my numbers don't get any worse. It really feels like a kick in the gut.

* (If a fucking miracle happened and I wound up with upsells over $30 a call, non-repeating callers over 86.5%, and an average call length under 930 seconds, I could hypothetically get a $197.50 bonus. Or if I also managed to squeak my surveys back up above 82% good... okay, that's only one more good survey and no more bad ones, it could happen. More likely, my upsells wouldn't quite hit $30 and any further good surveys I get would go toward making up the difference. But if I had both my repeat callers and my upsells excellent, I'd only need one more good survey -- assuming no more bad ones, obviously -- to squeak back up to the $2/hour tier for a hypothetical bonus of $316.)

* The trouble with that being that I don't... I don't know if I have any faith anymore that I'll actually get my bonus as projected? Like I can't think of any way that mysterious and unspecified "work changing the bonus structure" mid-month combines with an inexplicable $12 bonus to work out in my favor. I feel like I'm bracing for a slap.

[samtheflamingomain]

the cooking-hater's cookbook

I'm a fry cook. I actually quite enjoy my job despite it being exhausting and occasionally stressful.

Which for a while, I thought was weird. Cuz I fucking hate cooking.

But I've come to learn that cooking as a job, in a commercial kitchen, with a set menu, is very different from cooking at home. In my mind, they couldn't be more different.

I could detail exactly why, but I don't think that's a super hot take. Instead, I'd like to offer some advice to others who hate cooking for themselves at home.

Tip #1: Buy a fryer. Oil or air, get a machine where you insert the food and remove it and eat it in less than 10 minutes. Before I got my mini deep fryer, that machine was the oven for me. But it takes longer, has limits on what can go in it, and usually makes whatever you're making taste bland.

I hate standing over a stove, especially if I'm using more than one burner at once. You have to be timing things, stirring, seasoning. And again, limitations on what you can make.

It also results in far fewer dishes to do. My fryer has single-handedly cut my grocery bill down a lot by buying bulk fry-ables and also has increased my motivation to cook.

Tip #2: Make good food. Nothing would zap my motivation to cook more than knowing I'd be spending 40 minutes making bland-ass pasta that will taste like nothing. I don't mean go out and get some Wagu and caviar, and you don't even need to do much work to fix this.

Seasoning is your friend. It's easy, and if you're bold, fun to experiment. Even the cheapest frozen nuggets can be turned into boneless wings tossed in sauce and pepper. Pasta sauce is one of the most versatile substances in your kitchen. There's almost nothing you can put into tomato sauce that won't make it taste better. Broccoli just needs butter and salt. I've yet to encounter anything that Cajun spice doesn't improve.

It might seem daunting, and I know some that are worried about ruining the meal with the wrong spice or herb. Valid, but it's worth ruining a bowl of pasta to find out you hate lemon pepper. And you'll get better over time, learning what goes good together for your palette. I have this as my #2 tip because I find that knowing it's going to taste good motivates me to cook it.

If you're really worried about ruining a dish, just take a small portion, season, and taste.

Tip #3: Figure out what vegetables you like. I spent far too many years buying all kinds of vegetables that would rot away in the fridge. And buying frozen veggie mixes with 2/4 being ones I won't eat.

I hate cauliflower, corn and cooked carrots. But I fucking love broccoli. When I buy frozen broccoli, that's my veg for all my meals until it's gone. I'll do a salad now and then but if you want cucumber and pepper and onion and tomato, you have a week to have those salads. Personally I can enjoy a lettuce-only salad, but it's kinda pointless nutritionally.

Now, I only eat broccoli. Frozen spinach and onion goes in pasta sauce, but I always spring for a tomato to go on egg sandwiches or burgers, the only thing I'll stand over a stove to make occasionally.

Honestly, you'll live on 2 veggies. Find the top 2 and just eat those. (I'm just a random dude, not a doctor or nutritionist. Just my advice when you hate cooking).

Tip #4, and I know you don't wanna hear it but Meal Planning! Yes, it takes time, but it's the least-avoidable part of cooking. But lucky reader, I have a hack for you.

Pick your favorite mid-tier restaurant. Not fancy, not fast-food, maybe like Wild Wing or St. Louis or Olive Garden. Go ahead and pull up their menu online. Browse as though you were ordering for yourself, but also your future self. Example. For me it's East Side Mario's. If I get the seafood linguine today, I won't want it again tomorrow or the next day, but maybe 4 days from now. Spaghetti looks good. Oh, they do a fish dish? And a marinated chicken?

You now have 4-5 meals that you know (or have reason to believe) you'd enjoy. Obviously you're not a restaurant, but something like "seafood linguine" can be simplified to "pasta with shrimp" or even just "pasta with a kind of meat thrown in". If you're lucky, your menu might even list some of the ingredients used. You don't have to get them all, but you'll have an idea on how to make a dish taste good.

This isn't meant to be a 1:1 exercise, just a way to get people who have a hard time coming up with meals to hone in on some ideas. It doesn't work for everyone, especially those more on the picky side.

But this hack is actually a 2-for-1! Restaurants want as few veggies on hand as possible and will therefore try and use one for multiple dishes. Same with spices etc. So, if your 4-5 meals mention a certain veggie a few times, chances are better that you'll use the whole thing before it goes bad.

Tip #5 is meal prepping. I don't do it myself because I don't like rice. If you do, this is for you. If not, you are correct, let's continue.

Tip #6, and this might be the most important. Learn what your body wants. This took me ages. I was forced to eat breakfast as a kid and continuing into adulthood despite not being hungry upon waking. Usually a small snack around 4pm then my main meal around 10pm.

I have no proof but I think it's genetic because, despite my father eating his 3 squares at the dinner table at 8, noon and 6, my mother only ever ate dinner, but would eat twice as much as us. Now I do the same. when I'm hungry at 10pm, I'm HONGRY. I eat way more than I think I should, but technically still less than 2000 calories.

Some call this a "caveman diet" - eating once a day. I just follow my body. If it's hungry, it eats.

I guess I should disclaim that those with irregular or disordered eating should maybe be wary of this tip. I'm anorexic myself, in recovery, but I understand if this is seen as encouraging. No - if you're only eating once a day, bitch stack them pancakes to the sky and get your 2k calories if that's what it takes.

My final piece of advice is to find some part, any part, of the cooking experience enjoyable. For me, it's chopping vegetables, because I'm realllllly good at it. I can mince even the juciest of tomatoes and turn 1 pickle into 10 slices of pickle. Wow, great flex, Sam.

Maybe it's the seasoning, testing out different cook times, different techniques, sauces, pairings. I'd even say "cleaning up as you go" could be a draw for the compulsive cleaners like me. Even just seeing your food come to life. You took something, say a raw meat or uncooked pasta, and made it edible. 2000y ago, you'd be God.

Feel free to add any tips of your own, this is by no means exhaustive.

Stay Greater, Flamingos.