#I've been in therapy for multiple years!!! talked to my therapist and psychiatrist about this and they both agree I have OSDD!!!!

[crabussy]

hey other systems, would recommend steering clear of user eruruu, it seems to have been convinced by their psychiatrist(s) that DID is mostly delusion and only consists of heightened trauma states and dissociation. it came onto my post about how to support loved ones who are systems with a massive spiel explaining extremely out of date understandings of DID, finishing it off with an outdated article from the late 1900s-early 2000s containing many misconceptions about the disorder as a whole. I'd suggest blocking it, don't interact or send hate, I think it's been convinced of these things by professionals trying to make the disorder less "scary" or "unusual". just block and move on.

[p1xiemeat]

hi do you mind if I ask you what symptoms of bipolar you have experienced before/are currently experiencing right now? if this is too heavy for you to answer then that’s alright it’s just that I was recently diagnosed with bipolar 2 and I wanted to hear about the experience from another person.. thank you 

well i have bipolar 1 rapid cycling which is more severe than just having bipolar 1. and bipolar 1 by itself is more severe than bipolar 2, so definitely don't compare yourself to me too much. also everyone is different. not every person with bipolar of any type has the same symptoms. i also have anxiety, ptsd, and im seeing a psychiatrist in november to be tested for a neurological disorder that my therapist thinks i may have but she can't diagnose me. so sometimes those symptoms from other things overlap into what i experience. some things might be caused by my anxiety or ptsd. for example i've had hallucinations plenty of times which can be a symptom of bipolar but also could be from ptsd too. i have manic episodes all the time. and when im not having mania im basically in a constant state of depression. its awful. i do have impulses but ive spent years learning how to control them. they used to be uncontrollable and it ruined my life for many years. my sleep and appetite changes constantly. sometimes i dont need sleep at all and other times all i do is sleep. and most of them time i can't eat a lot. and when i am able to eat i end up binge eating to make up for barely eating most of the time. im extremely indecisive and its hard to focus on one task. i usually have like 10 different tasks going at a time which makes it hard to complete anything. but i also become obsessed with my interests. it actually annoys ppl because i will talk about the same few things over and over. i have suicidal thought all the time. only thoughts tho. i would never act on them. but before i could control my impulses i had multiple attempts to end my life. i also have constant racing thoughts or my mind feels blank and i'll be completely silent for days sometimes because i have nothing to say. except when it comes to my children. obviously i speak to them when they are around, but i won't start a conversation when my mind feels blank or i won't CHOOSE to say anything for days. yeah it really fucking sucks. life with bipolar is mainly living in extremes. [for me anyway]. im either exteremely happy or extremely sad. same goes with being confident or not confident, hungry or not hungry, etc. one of the hardest things is having so much energy when im manic and feeling constantly tired and drained when im depressive. because i have children and i HAVE to be productive on daily basis. i can't just NOT clean or do dishes or laundry etc. so when im depressive i have to mentally and physically force myself to do anything. its honestly absolute hell. and im so sorry you have it too. i wish i had more positive things to tell you about it, but im not going to sugarcoat it or lie to you.

as long as you put in effort to work on yourself and try to be aware of the way you react to things or what things affect your mood, it will get easier. i know that i NEED therapy. every time i left therapy i relapsed on drugs or i mentally deteriorated. so i highly recommend finding a good therapist if you start to struggle badly. or just have one just to help you even if you don't think you need one. they help sooo much with helping u understand yourself and your thoughts and actions. i wish you nothing but the best✨💜 bipolar disorder can be so crippling. it can even be a disability for some ppl. for me it is. i am getting disability soon because its pretty impossible to find a job that works with what im able and unable to do. it lowered my confidence a lot when i realized i needed the extra help but now im more okay with it because i know its just the hand i've been dealt. i didnt ask for bipolar disorder. just like i didn't ask for it to prevent me from working. its just what happened to me. and thats okay. 🖤💜 i hope you are well🥰

[avelera]

Hi! I love going through your ADHD tag. A lot of it is so informative but I like reading your personal experiences and seeing that I'm not the only one feeling the way I am. So, thank you for putting that out there! I had a question for you regarding the diagnosis of ADHD and, please if you feel uncomfortable or don't want to answer, please feel free to just ignore this! For over 5-6 years, I've been quite sure that I have ADHD. However, in the past (and currently, actually) I haven't been in a position to seek out a therapist or get a diagnosis. I've also heard it's really expensive to get a diagnosis. Would you be okay with talking about how you found someone to talk to about a potential diagnosis and what the process of getting a diagnosis looks like? I found some stuff online but it's been pretty vague and generally along the lines of "it differs on a case-by-case basis." Thank you, again, for the tag and for all the stuff you write! <3

Hey there Anon! Happy to share my experience.

Ok, so here's the privileges I had which might mitigate the value of my advice in some situations but 1) I'm in the US (specifically, the northeast) where ADHD is taken pretty seriously and while not spoken of openly in all professional circles, getting a diagnosis in most cases doesn't run up against cultural taboos that would prevent treatment 2) I have health insurance through my job and 3) I was in a position to seek therapy when I got my diagnosis for unrelated life stuff. It was the therapist who referred me to a psychiatrist who got me meds and later I found this AMAZING psychiatrist in my area who helped me work through multiple medications until I found the right fit (however, she had a 4 month waitlist before I could work with her. Worth it! But I had an ongoing prescription during that time, I just wasn't sure it was the right one).

Gonna cut here to go into more specifics:

- I was diagnosed when I mentioned to my therapist (while pretty much shaking with fear that I would look like some kind of amphetamine addict looking for a fix or a kid looking for party drugs) that I kinda sorta maybe had ADHD destroying my life and she basically went, "Oh yeah, that's been obvious since Day 1 when you wouldn't look me in the eye while speaking." So... lol, basically you're probably not nearly as subtle as you think to a trained professional if you have it.

- When I dared to ask if she could help me get medication her response was, "Yeah, sure, here's a number, call them and tell them I sent you as a referral." It was that difficult.

- That person kinda sucked and there's a bunch of annoying bureaucracy BUT when I mentioned this to my general practitioner doctor he was like "If they suck I can hold you over with prescriptions until you find a new person." No, he did not question me. Literally no actual medically trained person I've ever spoken to has shown any concern that I might be lying or faking or whatever, they've all be scrupulously helpful and even apologetic at all the hoops.

- The first time I tried Adderall I had a near out-of-body experience with how easy life suddenly became. Fear of emails just melted away. I got a week's worth of work that had been HAUNTING me done in an afternoon. HOWEVER, that level of euphoria only happened the one time, and that's pretty universal that you'll cry with relief the first time you use it then if you don't get the right medication you will chase that high incorrectly. For me, the correct medication turned out to be extended-release, 25 mg (relatively low) generic adderall and this is after a year of the "fancier" Vyvanse that was supposed to be smoother (and it was, compared to single release adderall which made me want to chew nails I was so stressed).

- The downside with ANY single release for me though, it turned out (even relatively smooth Vyvanse) was that when I crashed at the end of the day I absolutely craved alcohol, or sugar, some kind of pick-me-up. I thought I was an alcoholic. I was legit scared by how bad I needed alcohol at the end of the day, until I switched to slow release and the cravings just melted away. I still like drinking but the craving went away once I was no longer crashing and I've been so much better since.

- My advice to people is: if your circumstances don't preclude you (financially, culturally, etc.) drop a few inquiries to psychiatrists in your area. They will not laugh at you. They will not report you. Just say you think you have ADHD and you'd like professional help seeing if your self-diagnosis is correct and getting medication if so (which is why you need a psychiatrist, not a therapist. Therapists can't necessarily get you a prescription). Every medical professional I've worked with has been enormously helpful and understanding, your brain is lying to you when it says you're going to get arrested or something for just asking. That is dumb. That is desperation-brain, not reality.

Put out a few requests so if someone is overloaded or busy you have backups. You will have to do a couple scary professional emails or calls, maybe speak to your insurance, but I PROMISE you it is worth it. The light at the end of the tunnel is you have to do this one scary thing but the reward is this thing will never be scary again after.

And it is totally, totally worth it.

[dagcutie]

To your anon(s) and also you I think (?) who talked about insecurity etc in your asks: guys, therapy is a great thing. You DON'T NEED some big problem/disorder to 'justify' going to one. I used to think that. I used to think my problems (low self-esteem, constant comparing myself to others etc etc) are so small it's 'ridiculous' to go to therapy and that I can figure it out on my own, right? Wrong. Because why should I??? There are trained professionals for that and they are there to help you figure it out faster etc. And here's the thing, maybe it will only take a few sessions for you to figure your shit out? Other case scenario would be you struggling for years maybe. I've been in therapy since July and let me tell you the only thing I regret is that I went there so late. If you have means for it (or try finding out if it's in your insurance!) definitely don't hestitate! Even just talking shit out can really really help. Gaining another perspective. Taking a memory or an experience and working it out in details with your therapist to notice and realize things you haven't before.

And find 'your person'. I had a really nice psychologist in July but she was too calm for me, the vibe wasn't what I was looking for. So I changed her for someone else and I managed to find the right one the second time around :)

So srsly. Try it. Just try it. And don't wait till the New Year or sth and make it your resolution or sth. No, try it next week :) And see for yourselves 💗💗💗

thank you so much for your message!!!<333 as someone who is studying to become a psychologist/therapist i couldn’t agree more!! i think everybody should go see a therapist even if you don’t feel the need to. and it’s true that even if you think you will come for 'futile issues' the therapist will actually make you realize that sometimes what you think is really not important can actually be serious and hide a bigger problem so it’s very important to seek help as soon as you need to. Trying more than one therapist is great indeed because you often need more than one try before finding someone that fits you well. also you shouldn’t give up after one bad experience with a therapist, it doesn’t mean it’s gonna be the same with another one :) i myself changed multiple times too, i didn’t like the way my last psychiatrist was working and i realized that i should have gone and change way sooner but i didn’t lmao anyways mental health is very important!!! you are always legitimate and valid to ask for help

[duchessofostergotlands]

I thought I'd share something because you talk about your experience with mental illness (which I so appreciate). For years I was told I had BPD. Last year I met a new psychiatrist and he told me that's wrong. I have C-PTSD as a result of prolonged childhood trauma (long term emotional abuse). So he sent me to a therapist who has been doing EMDR therapy. I've been doing it for a year and I feel like a new person. I have a long way to go but I'm getting there.

Hey :) Thank you for sharing!! It can be really hard to get the right diagnosis. Some illnesses have overlapping symptoms and it can be difficult to identify. Ultimately humans have identified and named conditions so to think we only fit in one neat box is unlikely. That’s why so many are diagnosed with multiple conditions. And it is important. If I didn’t get my BPD diagnosis I never could have received my current therapy, which I do think is slowly helping. I’m really glad that you’re in a place where you feel you have the right diagnosis for you and are receiving the right treatment. Please do keep me updated. How is the experience of EMDR? I only know a little bit about it but I know it’s gaining some popularity 

[warrenkoles]

I've been dealing with the fact that I was abused for 2 years when I was 11. I've never been the same since and I feel like I'm never going to get better. How are you handling this? I want nothing else than to feel okay again

hi nonnie. i’m so sorry that happened to you at so young of an age. it makes total sense to still be affected by this. i felt this way for a very long time too and honestly it’s only been in the past few months or so that i’ve started to think that may be possible, so don’t beat yourself up if it seems like recovery is taking a long time or anything.

for me personally, i was handling things very very badly, and it wasn’t until i was hospitalized for a suicide attempt that i started to get the care and the medication i needed to make those steps forward towards recovering. i’ve been seeing a therapist regularly since then and have been talking out the things that have happened to me and the things that happen now in my relationships that trigger me, which gives me a better sense of the scope of my trauma and how to overcome it for healthier relationships in my life. i’m so much more gentler with myself than i used to and instead of pushing myself past my limits i know when to stop, to do self care and recuperate. my favorite thing to do is journal because the time it takes to hand write about my trauma and my triggers gives me time to process it better.

this all sounds a lot easier than it actually is, the fact is that trauma recovery is tough, grueling work. tbh i don’t know if i will ever get to a point where i consider myself “fully recovered” - instead i’m working on becoming an independent adult. i still deal with triggers all the time, i have night terrors and the occasional sleep paralysis that deals with my trauma and think about it constantly. over the winter holidays i felt like i had completely regressed, had multiple breakdowns and felt as though my medication had stopped working. but i pushed through and attended my therapy appointments and kept taking my meds and got through it, and now i’m starting to feel better and more hopeful again. so really i think the most important part is just remembering that it’s not all progress, sometimes you take some steps back too and that doesn’t mean that you’ve reset back to 0 or that recovery isn’t working for you. it’s certainly frustrating and makes you think that everything you’re doing is futile, but i promise it isn’t. things will get easier, and you will get to a place where, even if it’s not perfect, you can feel safe and stable.

please take care of yourself nonnie, i hope that before you try something so horrible and harmful like i did, that you can be able to access a therapist and/or psychiatrist to help you through this and start the recovery process. it is possible