#IM CRYING things i google

[frser]

me rping : when was the clock invented ?

[oswlld]

oswlld's monthly wrap up: may

note: i am trying something a bit different this year, so bear with me as i figure out how i want to format this. i wanted to spend more time sharing what i consume, beyond what i rb, and put my thoughts in one place. these posts are okay to rb

--

Arsenic and Adobo, Mia P. Manansala [started 05/18, finished 06/03] I didn’t dip my toes into the light murder mystery genre until now and to be honest, I’m not sure if it’s working for me. But I have seen recommendations floating around this series with filipino characters and wanted to check it out. The main character, Lila, is eerily specific to my personal experiences and upbringing, but the writing feels severely lacking because I’m actively looking for more character development and depth. My best friend clarified that this genre doesn’t really flesh out the characters in the way I want it to. In the end, it just fell flat for me. I gave it 3.5⭐️ on storygraph (which might be generous) — Crying in H-Mart, Michelle Zauner [started 05/09, finished 06/09] Have you even got a book that you know that you’ll love, so you just end up avoiding it at all costs? This is a memoir that I needed to read this slowly because it just felt incredibly special. And so painful. If you’re a first gen aapi with a difficult relationship with your mother, this is going to be a LOT for you. Sobbing, snotty, the whole works. Take long breaks in between reads if you need it. I luckily saved the heaviest part of the book for when I was taking an impromptu trip to the lake, surrounded by so much sun, mist, and life. The world was comforting me and wiping away my tears. 5.0⭐️ on storygraph!!

23.5 Degrees, GMMTV [started: 03/08, dnf] I only had time to catch episode 9 in May. I thought I would be able to complete the series this month, but alas it might be a DNF. Please tell me that the adorable teachers got together! — Doctor Who, Disney+ [started: 05/10, in prog] It shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone that DW is on here. I am a DW blog first, multifandom blog second. I’m loving the spin RTD is taking with the show for this run, having the genre touch on the supernatural/mythical/fantasy. It still has the same DNA but it’s so fresh. I only caught the first two eps on premiere week and haven’t had the time to keep up with the show weekly, but I am catching up soon. — Murderville, Netflix [started 02/10, finished: 05/23] I forgot to include this in my february wrap up, but I watched eps 1-4 back then and finally got around to seeing the last two eps this month. This show is such a delight! I love the unique twist on the concept of procedural improv, where the guest star actually have to solve the case at the end of the ep. They’re not there to just play off the other actors, they invite themselves to interact with the plot without taking it too seriously. If this sounds right up your alley to turn your brain down to like… 25%, please check this out. — Attack on Titan [started: 05/26, in prog] I have quite a journey ahead of me, but I’m happy to report that I LOVED the first ep. What a strong start to my anime era! This is gonna be my summer obsession, I can just feel it. By the time this posts, I will have seen eps two and maybe three(??). Gimme them right now, in an IV please. — Devil’s Plan, Netflix [started: 04/23, ALMOST complete] Bestie and I are OBSESSED with this competition series and we just learned there will be a s2, YAYY! This isn’t a show where you can turn your brain off. Now that I think about it, I don’t think there’s been a challenge I fully understood until ep 10, but man is it fun watching the contestants figure it out. They’re all SO intelligent and SOOO charming. And the games are so creative and elevated, it makes the stakes so charged! We are a few min into ep 11, out of 12, and we are planning to finish it this week. I don’t want this show to endddd!

Whew! I thought I didn’t watch much this month, but I covered a lot of ground on the TV front huh.

Pedro, Netflix [watched on 05/05] First off, you’ll be delighted to know that the artist and subject matter of the film, Pedro Friedeberg, has two cats named Wikipedia and Netflix. What I find so refreshing about this documentary in particular is Pedro, the unwilling participant during the process. The filmmaker, Liora Spilk Bialostozky, takes great care in sharing her insecurities about it. Liora is not shy about her adoration for her favorite artist and Pedro is very firm with his boundaries when pressed about his personal life. It makes for a very delightful, yet tense friendship between the two. — Polite Society [watched on 05/31] This is still fresh in my mind but what a spectacular film! LOVE how it puts the sister bond in the forefront of this classic action film, as well as all the female friendships. It makes the tonal shift flow seamlessly because the heart of the film beats strong. The best scene was the KHAN vs KHAN fight sequence, Ria vs Lena. The bashing, the biting, and the blood! The choice to make the final blow be self-inflicted, especially when it targets my personal experience, really took this film to new heights. I want to just ‘This movie has EVERYTHING’ meme the hell out of this. It has weird girls, judgmental aunties, college dropouts who have an estranged relationship with making art, torture scenes through the use of leg waxing, reproductive autonomy, FEMALE RAGE! It deserves to be up there when people think of 10 Things I Hate About You and Clueless.

GÉNESIS, Peso Pluma [first time listening] Before Coachella, I knew very little about Peso Pluma but his live performance really shot him to the top of my list of artists to catch up on. When I was little, my dad always had corrido playing in his car radio and to this day, he still occasionally plays it in the garage. What I really admire about GÉNESIS is the modern twists the artist takes in the production and writing, perfectly paying homage to the traditional without it sounding dated. I think it’s largely due to his vocals. He doesn’t shy away from perfecting at the cost of being authentic and it shines in songs such as Rubicon and 77. The latter half of the album really packs a punch, it’s so hard to pick a favorite. Everything from Lady Gaga to the end is just banger after banger after banger. Having this album play in my car… I really do take after my father. — LAS LETRAS YA NO IMPORTAN, Residente [first time listening] I first heard of Residente from the song Immigrants (We Get the Job Done) from the Hamilton Mixtape. Even then, I made a mental note to get back to him, but lost track of time until I started listening to Peso Pluma. This compilation consists of 23 songs and it’s such a sublime experience from beginning to end! It’s cinematic, it’s heavy, it’s a party, AND it’s skipless. He has a level of talent that has me raging!!! HE’S SO GOOOOOOD TF?!?!? The first time I heard 313, I wrote a note on my phone with “hhhhhhhh???!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!how dare he” and I stand by that statement. It’s almost six minutes long and not one second was wasted. Where Peso Pluma brings the traditional corrido to the present, Residente brings rap/hip-hop into the future. Whenever I get a chance to jump back into the album in the car, the songs I tend to gravitate towards are Artificial Inteligente, Cerebro, Yo No Sé Pero Sé, Que Fluya, and Las Letras Ya No Importan. This guy doesn’t miss, I hate him (affectionate). — Everything I Know About Love, Laufey [first time listening] This album is magnificent, I am UNWELL. The way I feel about this album is the same way I felt about Five Seconds Flat last summer: a feeling so bone deep, my soul begs for release. Bewitched was such a strong outing for me, so hearing little echos of it in the album before made the listen experience all the more enchanting. I’m so in love with this album. I’m actually convinced that Above the Chinese Restaurant is the most beautiful song I’ve ever heard. Ever. If I talk about this album more, it’s going to dig up so much of my deepest, darkest memories. I can’t… but also please talk to me about this album. — HIT ME HARD AND SOFT, Billie Eilish [first time listening] On gawd, what a stellar month for music, I can’t believe it! What a KNOCKOUT!! Billie and Finneas, I feel, have finally come home. They finally own their craft, refined it, and carved it into this marble masterpiece. Billie is more daring with her vocal range and exploring new avenues in her execution. The entirety of L’amour De Ma Vie was just me going “ARE YOU KIDDING ME????” 30 times over in the car. No but for real, is she joking? This is so ungodly, what am I supposed to do with myself?? HELP???? It’s a no-skip album, there is no top 5, no favorites list. It just is and it’s unbelievable that I can’t experience it for the first time all over again.

[neonacidtrip]

“ And it hurts so much! Life is suffering. It is hard! The world is cursed. But still, you find reasons to keep on living." ... "I don't regret a thing, you know. I don't regret the struggles. I don't regret the hardships. The pain. The sorrow. And I've seen so much of it! But still. I don't regret what I've done or how I've lived my life. I just wish the world had been a better place. A better place for them, for us... But surely, a better place for you, my dear." ... "I feel like a vast vessel, with so many dusty rooms and cabins... I have so many of them... So many memories... Some of them are gone, but some of them... Some of them will live on forever. In you, in others. ”

- Astrid, Spiritfarer Farewell Edition

[ranchlotte]

me after shaking, rocking, doing a weird handrub, smiling like an idiot, and tearing up over the fnaf movie trailer: im normal :3

[braverytattoos]

harry really typed in “doe prancing in the snow” into google images to find that photo.......

[myriadsystem]

IM PISSED WHAT THE FUCK

[monsterbisexual]

feeling like im being driven to my execution (its a drs appointment)

[milo-is-rambling]

Me when I’m not anxious at all about anything especially not traveling or not being home or being around strangers or going to a new airport or not being in control of the schedule or not having immediate access to my safe foods or not seeing funk and I’m definitely not anxious about being in new places and meeting new people and animals and having to be a person while trying to balance my emotions out enough that I don’t bring every conversation down while simultaneously only thinking about saying the wrong thing and bringing the conversation down

[qualityrain]

sorry just the concept of knives naming legato slays me but like. the fact that he didnt even name him a bad thing. like the way knives absolutely hates humans and literally wants to commit genocide to kill them all and. and he names one?? and its not even a name with a bad connotation. like he couldve pulled a lucilus and named him something like belial that means worthless and he doesnt???? that in itself just absolutely slays me. but the way knives names him legato. and the way you could kind of theorise that knives plays the piano in 3max because of that one (1) panel of him in that ridiculous outfit in front of a piano and. legato is a music term. so already knives names this human not something bad, but rather something associated with something that he does??? maybe likes???? enjoys???? and legato has many meanings but yknow its like smooth. and. and connection. connection. you connect two notes together smoothly and thats a legato. the chapter of legatos backstory is two people against the world. haha you could say thats where knives and legato gain a connection- i cant take it here bro

[jestlingnest]

sometimes im like argh why do i even talk to my friends im gonna do something to fuck it up and ruin everything but i cant NOT talk to my friends i just cant. id say that it's just a normal thing but tbh it feels like. more. that if i say the slightest thing wrong everyone i know is gonna talk behind my back about me and and be hurt by what i said

[maddyshome]

I know that Yuuta is probably gonna be the one fighting Kenny but damn...I cannot give up. I just can’t. Sorry yall. I really want to see Yuuji vs Kenjaku. They need to, at least, meet. 

[mymp3]

hi! its a delight to see that you have been enjoying minat + ryoj (and p3 in general), your tags and art just capture the essence of what makes them enjoyable...! anyways. did you know that the p3 mangaka previously made a ryomina doujin? cant send links but if u google "ryomina sogabe" u should be able to find it! have a nice day o/

FUCKING WHAT?

[selfnss]

[kissmejusttokissme]

Right, lads, you know that twilight steddie au I keep banging on about? Well, I might have actually started writing it... just, a lil bit. And I'm not sure how long before I'll have enough to start posting it on AO3 (I think I want to make sure smoke signals and waiting room are finished before anything else) but I do have a lil prologue teaser to post and here it is:

On his first night back in Hawkins, Steve Harrington climbs out of his bedroom window and takes his car out for a ride.

It’s been almost a year since he’d last driven it and he can tell by the way it’s handling that his dad hasn’t kept up his promise to take it out now and then. But, then again, why would he? The only promise that Steven Harrington Sr has ever kept in his life is the one he made the first time Steve failed a class. “Do it again and I’ll make your life hell.” And, well, the rest is pretty self-explanatory.

Once or twice, Steve has wondered if his dad ever actually loved him. He’d put money on the answer being no. That the only reason that Steve even knows his father is down to obligation. His grandfather was the same. So, maybe it’s a generational thing. Maybe Harringtons aren’t built to love each other. There’s a thought. Maybe they aren’t built to love anyone.

Except Steve kind of loves his mom. In that very hands-off way that his mom has built up over years of only seeing him during the summer and limiting conversations to three sentences or less. But Steve would be sad if something happened to her and that in itself feels like a success.

He needs to call her and tell her that he got back safely.

She probably won’t answer but it’s the thought that counts.

Steve drives aimlessly for a bit, circling the streets around his house, before turning off towards the town centre feeling bittersweet. Two years ago and there would have been a long list of people dying to see the prodigal son of Hawkins High. God, there might have even been a party to welcome him home.

They weren’t good people and he probably would have ditched the party halfway through the night, but there’s something to be said about being wanted.

Hawkins hasn’t changed much in the year that Steve has been away. Small towns never do. It’s the same thousand buildings and the same thousand families that have lived in them for decades. Most of Steve’s teachers had taught his dad and if they haven’t, they’ve taught some other person whose standard he’s supposed to live up to.

He pulls into the one twenty-four-hour gas station that Hawkins has to offer and fills his tank. It’s hot out despite being the first week of September. Checking first to make sure no one is around, Steve lifts the bottom of his t-shirt and wipes at his face. It’s not like he has much of a reputation to protect anymore but old habits die hard. He’s supposed to be the ultimate cool guy after all and cool guys don’t wear nerd shirts gifted to them by the fifteen-year-old they babysit and melt in the autumn heat.

Brushing a hand through his hair, Steve opens the gas station door and grabs a soda on his way to the counter. If he plays it right, he could spend at least two hours at Skull Rock before his dad even notices that he’s gone. Smokeless for once but Steve’s a big boy. He can sit with his thoughts for a couple of hours if it means not going home.

“Pack of Marlboro Lights as well thanks,” he says, putting the soda down on the counter. “And, uh, full tank on pump four.”

It’s rude of him, he knows that, but it’s only when he finishes speaking that he actually looks at the clerk for the first time. Too easily distracted, that’s Steve’s problem. So he spends most of his time ticking off the steps in his head while doing them. Easier that way but manners get lost sometimes.

Then again, considering how his brain turns to mush the minute he does look at the clerk, maybe it’s not such a bad idea.

Standing behind the counter is the most handsome man that Steve has ever seen. He’s about Steve’s height but his mess of brown curls, so long that it’d make Steve’s mom lose her mind, adds a couple of extra inches. He blinks at Steve lazily, eyes so dark brown that someone could get lost trying to find where the colour meets the black, before turning and reaching for the cigarettes, the bottom of his work shirt riding up so that Steve gets a glimpse of black ink against pale skin.

Steve knows that he has to pull himself together because in a minute the clerk is going to turn back around, but damn if it isn’t hard to pull his eyes away from where that tattoo disappears under the fabric of his jeans.

“Got an ID for that?” The clerk asks as he puts the cigarettes down on the counter.

Steve nods and fumbles with the fake ID in his wallet. If his heart is beating a fraction too quickly, it’s just because he’s worried that the clerk is some graduated senior who’ll remember him. Not that Steve can imagine this guy has ever stepped foot in Hawkin’s high. He looks like he’s been ripped from a million-dollar oil in the Louvre.

“Harrington,” the clerk says, his voice low. “Sounds familiar.”

“Probably cause of a cousin or something.” Steve swallows down the feeling he gets when the clerk gives him a once-over. It's jet lag. That’s the only answer as to why he’s acting like this guy is some girl he’s hoping to impress. He’s just a guy, Steve reminds himself. A beautiful guy with shining silver rings on each of his fingers and another tattoo poking out from under his collar, but a guy nonetheless. “Or someone else. I think it’s a common name.”

“Or,” the clerk leans forward so that he’s inches away from Steve’s face. “I know you from Nancy Wheeler’s stories.”

“You know Nancy?”

“That surprise you or something?”

“What? No, I, uh-” And, yeah, it’s closed-minded but the idea of Nancy being friends with this does surprise Steve. The whole time that Steve has known Nancy, she has never strayed far from the academically minded folk that share her AP classes and spend their free time bulking their college applications with extracurricular activities. Steve had been the one exception and that had been a blip.

“Are they bad stories?” Steve asks, desperate to escape the awkward silence that has fallen over them. “Not that it matters, cause- I mean- If they’re bad it’s because I was a dick, so, it’s my own fault.”

The clerk is still leaning forward, hands gripping the edge of the counter to keep him from falling, and he takes a long moment to just look at Steve. Those dark eyes searching Steve’s face for something. And then he steps back and shrugs.

“Some of them.”

“Oh,” Steve says. “Uh, well that’s better than all of them. Right?”

The clerk tilts his head to the side and Steve wants desperately to reach out and push the hair that has fallen across his face.

“Am I alright to get those, then?” Steve asks when the clerk doesn’t say anything. “Just cause I’ve got somewhere to be.”

That seems to shake the clerk out of whatever thought he’s stuck on because he runs a hand down his face and then nods. “That’ll be seventy-five dollars, cash or card?”

Steve hands him a wad of cash left over from his mom and reaches out for his ID but the clerk gets there first. He brushes his hand, pale skin as cold as the soda Steve is holding, and pulls back quickly.

“Sorry.”

“Are you?” The clerk asks and Steve hasn’t got a clue what to make of that. He just stands there awkwardly and waits for his change. Like a kid standing in his parent's doorway waiting to tell them he’s thrown up.

“This is a shitty fake, by the way, hope you didn’t pay much for it.” The clerk says, pressing both the ID and change into the palm of Steve’s hand. “I know a guy and if you paid more than thirty for that, you got ripped off.”

“You think?” Steve asks, shoving the contents of his hand into his pocket.

“I know,” the clerk says. “I can get you a better one if you want.”

“This really the sort of thing you should be saying at work?”

The clerk grins, pearly white teeth sharp against his lip, and Steve feels blessed to have seen it. “You’re so right, Stevie. Oh, how I’ve seen the light.” He shakes his head, still smiling. “Just think about it, alright?”

“Alright,” Steve says and he knows that he’ll be thinking about this whole thing for the rest of his life.

[moderngirlmp3]

as a society i think we need to talk less about eddie munson

[forsty]

the deaths of favorite ficitonal characters affect me so much more than it used to and i hate it