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#i said no last time but idk. kms
satansloveclub · 5 months
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I can't do this anymore like I hate being on my phone. I feel like im rotting in my room and I just feel like such a loser. I come home from work and just sit here.
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widevibratobitch · 5 months
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i need to dye my hair i need to cut my hair i need to bleach my eyebrows again i need to shave them off completely i need to DO something i need CHANGE or ill go insane
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dwelicate · 1 year
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vent in tags bbg
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29121996 · 2 months
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#trying to . not smoke to cope w these feeling isnuh . Not fun i .#i cannot describe it icfeel pathetic and insane ohh my god .#im still more uoswt over losing him than i am over my best friend n that is not gonna make . me not giggle a lil#anyway ! cannot do tgis i want a refund on the last 2yrs bc what the everloving fuck.#2022 feels like a fever fucking dream. how thebfuck didnall of that take plaxenonly 2yrs ago#n how didni end up here .#ANYWAY . i hate this feeling i hate everything sbt this n ik im supposed.to find . some goodness in it#and i AM . like . there is a lot of goof that has come from this. but . if there isnt this almost permenant ache that#i literally cant get rid of . used tocscoff at ppl who said that it could feel like going from feel whole to#feeling like a piece is missing bc how how can one Person do that . but like i do get it :/#its so sick n twisted . like i have Two options rlly . n i have to choose one bc i have no other choice rlly . but#i am gritting my teeth . while i do it bx it isnt lesseninf and is only getting Worse Somehow !#i thought time was supposed tocmake it better n . i thoughy time was supposed toclessen the intensity of#wtv the fuck THIS is . but NO . how the fuck am i supposed tovgo the rest of my life like this#n k ik one day at a time it wont always feel like this . but what if it does. i could actually kms fromcthat idea#tgis is so fucked i actually . have gotta swinf at him for this . let me fist fight him .#i say that as if je ciuldnt kill me Immediately . but . let me fist fight him bx i cant do much else !!! im in a box !!!! n im terrified !!!#i went away and expected it to feel Less . but no. it somehow was Stronger and . more evil#string theory or wtv u wanna call it . idk were fucking tied tgth n some shape or form . bc how#else am i to explain tje weird pyschological tinglings i get other than spiritual bullshiy i am Going Crazy fr .#pyschward me atp. beinf aober isnt helping - but smoking doesnt either i am gonna kill him fr.#and then myself and pray shits different next lifetime. it would absolutely be funny to add murder tocour karma#bx this isnt our first rodeo tgth. weve done this dancd before in another lifetime . sickening.#anyway add murder karma to it ! why the fuck not !#im kidding obvioisly. i coildnt murder anyone .
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sovaharbor · 3 months
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i made falafel for dinner tonight and it was perhaps an awful decision. im so sad abt it bc now i cant eat the leftovers for lunch tmrw... kms.
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nomaishuttle · 5 months
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worst day ever
#marian cant bring me home bc she gad 2 take her suster to the er Not her fault thats fjne brenda left 2 hours ago dee has a date nee is in#thailand rn dajs car is too bad 2 get us all th way to my house but she said she might be able to trade cars eith her server friend bc her#server friend has a good car The server friend took her husbands truck today (btw crazy bc this girl turned 18. like last week. what ???#maybe im misremembering and she said boyfriend....) and her husband/bf doesnt let other people into his truck And greg isnt here today so#he cant guve me a ride. idk where new girl natasha lives but 1. im rly mad at her rn like less mad than i was earlier but still frustrated#2. she doesnt get off until 6. so basically i have to pay 40 dollars for a fuckjng uber which completely negates rhe fact thag today i got#time and a half bc half is like 45. so fuck everything on this planet. Nd im gonna kms too.#but its fine. earlier this week i did get a ride from marian jnstead of $20 lyft so ig that cancels out a little bit but i also got my#stupid walmart order and it is stuff j need like body wash hand sanitser hand soap. but i also got christmas stuff and now i feel stupid#for getting fucking christmas stuff even tho i only ordered it bc i wanted 2 make sure it got here b4 the 2nd bc the 2nd is my grannys#biethday and we always went to her house to decorate her tree on her birthday bc she loved christmas. and basically fuck everuthing#and i jiss my granny and i wish i didnt live in fuckinf washington
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coldvampire · 9 months
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i got to enjoy relatively clear skin for just under a year after going on isotretinoin & now fucking. i get the Joy of dealing with some other new skin condition on my face that just doesnt want to fuck off
#makes me wanna kms dfdgfgfgfggxfcv#literally i can deal with a lot of other bullshit physical stuff but my skin is an ongoing uphill battle#i have an unrelated doctors appt on tuesday so like maybe they can renew that prescription#but still. jesus christ. its most likely smth called perioral dermatitis#at least thats what the walk in doctor said? idk ten days of doxycycline didnt make it go away & looking into it most of those treatments#are usually ones that go for like. several months#this is all just so dfhghjjsdjh#anyway if you have good skin i genuinely hope you suffer just a bit <3#thats a joke kinda but if someone gives me the whole 'just wash your face' spiel i Will be maiming them#i also remember having minocycline a few years back for 30 days for a different reason so im wondering if maybe that might help?#the family dr was fine giving me that i think for iso ill probably need to go back to the derm & the wait times for those visits are usuall#a few months long at minimum. i think the last one was five?? maybe??? but yeah idk if my regular dr would be writing the script for that#i should probably get that bloodwork he ordered tho gfhjhj#ill go tomorrow i dont think the labs are open sundays#also i just really do Not wanna get blood drawn lmfao#anyway if anyone is into skincare and has insight ghgj please help#i do want to go back to iso again tho like aside from the chapped lips i didnt have Any side effects?? iirc it was the lowest dose#and only for 60 days even the purge process wasnt too awful#im wondering if a fucking. face mask i tried maybe a month and a half ago is the culprit for this flare up bc its been a pain in my ass for#just over a month now motherfucker lmfao#it doesnt Look like itll be leaving a lot of damage but ofc that depends on whether or not it heals up in a decent time#and i am of Course someone who gets pit scarring on my face bc why wouldnt i be#fully intend to get that like. lasered off or smth btw im not going into my 30s with that mess.#im just So fucking mad like its not even just an aesthetic thing or a capitalism beauty culture thing or what ever the fuck#my skin causes me actual physical pain like dshgdxgjh atp the 'good' appearance is a byproduct i probably wouldnt be so fussed otherwise
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fruchtzwerg · 10 months
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crying so hard rn it's unbelievable
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silver-la-pixels · 1 year
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help
#I failed 2 consecutive college sems. I got the credits but my gpa was too low both times#I'm still on my first financial aid grant and idk if I have to pay it back now that I'm on suspension#I dont even have the money to pay back what was left after financial aid.#My family has made it very clear that I have no support from them if this happened and it did.#I'm a goddam teenager. I work a minimum wage job part time. I cant.#Everythime someone failing college came up they would say how stupid they were and what a waste of space and that I better not be like them#After I left HS my dad didn expect me to go to college and explained I would have to buy my own insurance and whatnot#Anytime I tried to bring it up with my mom she would coldly tell me I better not fail or else.#I did everything. I went to the classes. I took the notes. I did the tests. No drugs. No partying. I still. Fucking. Failed.#I was stressed all the time. My sister pointed it out and all my mom said was that I had no reason to be stressed out it was stupid#I obviously cant expect support from those people much less tell them I failed twice.#I didn't expect to even get this far. I might have mental illness. Since it takes a million years just to get an appointment that *might*#*or just maybe* get me a referral to an evaluation I'll never know.#Anything I get from my family is completely conditional. My dad treats me like a stray dog.#I've considered suicide to not drown my family in debt since the grant dies with the user but they laugh at suididers#If I Kms-ed I would get ridicule beyond the grave and no prayers. Its sick and twisted. It almost amuses them to th think about.#If I tried and failed that it would be even worse.#I'm only holding it out bc these assholes come from super religious families and would probably condemn my soul upon hearing the news#Like...the last girl in out family to not follow their views was totally outcast and still shunned and shamed today#I can only hope that some horrible accidenttakes me out of the picture or that my brain damage is so bad that I'm forgiven from it#Even if the only damage is that I have to skip a semester my family wont take it well and my ass is still on the line#I cant fucking tell anyone (irl) anything. I cant trust any of them. I cant rely on any of them. I hate it.#I am beyond trapped. Theres no way out of any of this.
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flowachild · 2 years
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shoutout to hippy dippy woo woo shit because some combo of clean eating oil pulling and salt water rinsing healed my cavities 🤩
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thecherrygod · 2 years
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Hm
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enluv · 8 months
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003: fuck you google is free — THE GHOST OF YOU!
– warnings: dark humor (parents divorce, kms, die, etc), profanity, mentions of phroggers (if that triggers you idk), lmk if I missed anything!
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MASTERLIST / PREV / NEXT
˚ ༘✶ ⋆。˚ INSIDER’S LOOK:
– heey/n my fav broken up but still in love couple 😻
– sunghoon gets super bored since he’s always stuck at the apartment, that’s why he’s a menace to y/n
– coco is in a rush because she needs to leave to go to her last day of work !!
coco’s <3 note: ummm short-ish chapter today because i need to leave so if there are any mistakes just tell me and I’ll fix them later after work!! also I wanted to say that this smau isn’t a romance smau…idk if I ever said that but i feel like atp it’s pretty clear 😭 sunghoon and y/n will eventually come together but in a platonic relationship not much more so if that upsets you im sorry!! I’ll explain more when I have time <3
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WIBTAH for sending my (21NB) SIL (20F) stuff to help with her pregnancy when her mom said she doesn't want us to?
✨️✨️✨️❣️✨️✨️✨️ <- so i can recognise the post
so for some context, SIL didn't tell us she was 2 months pregnant until last night. She'd been planning on moving across the country (we live in the USA so across country is 3000~ miles/4500~ km) to go live with her boyfriend (22M) for a while now. None of us wanted her to go regardless but now that we know she's pregnant we wish she were here even more so we could help with anything she needs. She left this morning for her flight across country with a guy our family barely knows - some of us only learned his name last night.
my MIL - her mom - says she was gonna send her a car before finding out about the pregnancy but since SIL said she's gonna go to school and work online cus she wants to stay home with the baby, the mom doesn't want to send her a car that the idiot who got her pregnant (and was the one who convinced her not to tell us about it) is gonna end up using instead of her.
so, i brought up sending her some stuff to show her that she has people here who will help her (even if she is across the country) and show she's not alone. MIL was worried it would convince her to stay there. My worry is that not giving her any help will push her to stay over there where she doesn't know anyone instead of staying with family or, at least, someone she knows better than her bf of a few months.
I know she doesn't like it here, and at first I supported her moving out before I found out it was across the country with a guy she met *This Year* (2023 when submitted - idk how long thisll take to post). I don't think she should have to stay in this house, I understand she has trauma here and I fully support her moving out but the thought of her alone and pregnant on the other side of the country where she has absolutely no one other than her bf (who doesnt seem to be taking this situation seriously At All) and his family - who none of us have ever met - is just terrifying.
I dont think what I want to send her is something that would end up being a present for the boyfriend instead of her like the car. I have a pregnancy pillow from a surgery I had last year and thought even if she ends up not wanting it, sending it to her would at least show her that she's not alone and we still love and care about her from all the way over here. It isn't much and I don't think it's anything that would convince her to stay over there so I don't see why it should be a problem.
For full transparency, I *do* hope sending her support might convince her to come back, even if she doesn't move back into the house, I hope she doesn't stay in a place with a guy who clearly isn't ready to help, people she doesn't know, new rules, new everything. It all just seems too stressful under regular circumstances, let alone during her first-ever pregnancy. That being said, her staying or going is her choice, all of us agreed that trying to force her to stay/come back would only stress her out more and would be bad for her and the baby.
for extra context- when i say we dont know the bf at all, i mean it. i met him yesterday, the rest of the family has met him 2, maybe 3 times. he made a speech last night at dinner that only made me worry more, "I may not be the best for her", "Yeah, I'm in school but I'm not studying anything right now" (wtf does that even mean????), apparently he wants to be a cop (which i dont like personally) but isnt doing anything to accomplish that? and when FIL asked if we could visit her, he completely waffled as if he had never thought of the fact that we would like to go see her?? and her child??? Everyone throughout dinner made it very clear to him that we Don't know him and we're entrusting the baby of the household, the Princess of the household, with him - all of this was before we even knew she was pregnant. He didn't even tell the dad about the pregnancy before they left, he made MIL do it.
tl;dr- SIL's bf convinced her not to tell her family she was pregnant until the night before she moves across the country to live with him. I want to send her stuff to help with her pregnancy & show her she's not alone & we're here to help with whatever she needs but MIL worries sending her things will convince her that she doesnt need to come back home, i worry that not sending her anything at all will make her not want to come back at all.
What are these acronyms?
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pussius · 1 month
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ATLA Map rant thing
Ok so I LOVE Avatar the Last Airbender, like one of my favorite shows of all time, and I never even got the chance to see it as a kid, but one thing that's been bugging me since I finished the series for the first time is the map. Something about it bugged me for a long time but I couldn't figure it out, until recently when I watched Day of Black Sun again.
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So Chief Hakota points out the Azulon Gates on the map of the fire nation here. And although we never see the gate completely shore to shore, I think its safe to assume that the Azulon statue is in the dead middle.
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So from that, I'd guess that the gate is about a mile wide, (1.6 km) if even that. I'm gonna try and be generous with my numbers here so stay with me.
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So here I put one mark over the gate, so that mark is (roughly, nothing is gonna be exact here STAY WITH ME) One mile (1.6 km). So if we stack 5 marks on top of eachother, that makes 5 miles, (8.04 km) and if we stack ten of THOSE lines on top of each other, that makes it 50 miles (80.4 km). And from judging that line, i'd say (assuming that the geographic north pole is roughly in the center of the north and south poles), I'd say that the WHOLE WORLD OF AVATAR is like- 45 ish miles (72.4 ish km) from one pole to the other. Thats insane to me, so I made some reference images.
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First is the ENTIRE WORLD OF ATLA scaled up to the state of Rhode Island. And for the non americans out there (i did consider measuring this in football fields lol) Here is the Vatican City scaled up to it. The Vatican is the smallest country in the world, being like, Half a mile across (image appears bigger cuz it shows like, the italy surrounding it idk i did my best y'all)
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I wanna make it clear that this isn't meant to be me dunking on the creators of the show, not at all. Like I said I love ATLA to bits and the creators of the show, from the writers to the VA's are all incredible, that show was truly lightning in a bottle and few other shows even come close to being as good. This was all just a though experiment I decided to spend my time on instead of studying. Have fun making memes about this and, as they say in the fire nation, stay flamin!
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smileiii · 4 months
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Dazai is immortal
Manga/anime spoilers for bsd!
Recently (due to my bsd obsession) I have heard some cool theories, and included in those was one that I found really interesting.
What if Dazai was immortal?
Like we all have seen the stunts he pulls and yeah most people would definitely die from some of that, but what if he was just hard to kill and not immortal?
So I just dismissed it until I read the manga (mind you this was before season 5 was out) and saw him falling in the elevator, now I'm curious because idk about you but that seemed like it had a 100% mortality rate and he shouldn't have gotten out of there with only a broken leg.-
I looked up how far a person needed to fall for it to be fatal and found an older post referencing a paper from NASA.
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https://ntrs.nasa.gov/citations/19930020462 (Said Nasa paper)
In the post in the last line, they state that someone falling 17 m/s (17 meters per second) is almost guaranteed not to survive because what kills you isn't the fall but the abrupt stop at the end.
Now I did even more research on how fast your average elevator would fall and found an interesting question posed, the theory that if you jump at the last minute you would be able to save yourself in a falling elevator, below that was an article written by a researcher at Western Sidney University, detailing how your timing should be and also telling us the speed of your normal elevator, focusing on our previously stated point, the elevator would fall at around 200 km/h ((200 kilometers per hour) 55 m/s) meaning if there was no method used to stop the elevator or cushion the fall Dazai would 100% be dead, squished to nothingness (as the article, above mentioned, stated that in some cases the loose metal cables just crush the elevator as soon as it stops)
If Dazai were to use the 'jump at the last second method' he would still die.
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Here is a picture of the article stating how fast you would have to react at certain heights and (mostly) hinting at how high your chance of survival would be, considering the average height of an elevator to be 2 meters. Looking at the panel in chapter 106.5 we see linings at the side of the elevator shaft which (when compared to the actual elevator) seem to have a spacing of, again, roughly 2 meters, pair it with the fact that they have already been falling for several seconds (as short as they may be) we can estimate that the fall was AT LEAST over 15 meters most likely even 20.
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So no, Dazai should in no way, shape, or form have survived that.
In conclusion, he's immortal, or even death doesn't want him. (being immortal is cooler tho so let's go with that)
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simp4konig · 6 months
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okay, a couple questions
1: favourite song?
2: favourite movie/show?
3: idk anything else you want me to know-
Okay 😋😋 saw this immediately but didnt have time in the morjning to respond ☹️ SORRY !!!!
1. I have more than one 🥵
I dont expect you to listen to all of these btw !! 😰😰Dont waste your time if you dont ijow tjem, 😭🙏 :
So yeah, basically I play all these songs^^^ on repeat 💀☠️☠️ Drift Phonk is SO good 💯💯😎even tjo its bass boosted cowbells with some. Percussion 🤓🤓☝️ i think its rlly good lol
Also have some rap/pop songs that are in Polish that im NOT gonna include here bc its not like youll understand a word of whay theure saying 😱😱😱
2. LOVEEEEE "Money Heist/La Casa de Papel " it's made me cry twice🥰💔💔om the fifth episode of the last season because my favourite character died😞
I watch True Crime documentaries and just documentaries abt the internet😇😇 My favs for each category respectively: "Don't F**k With Cats" + "The Most Hated Man on The Internet (i think its called anyeays lmaoo)
Also like watching classic films. Idk, i dont like tje stuff that comes out nowadays 🤕 so any blockbusters from the 80s–10s i LOVE 🤩🤩
3. Random information:
Natural blonde, with GRAY-blue eyes (because my eyesight is bad so the colour in my eyes has faded, 🥲 — so obv. I wear glasses😔its sad bc my eyes were ocrsn blue and now look metallic 🤖)
My handwriting is god-awfulm, like ILLEGIBLE😭😭😭 its sn insult to the paper honestly 💀💀you should see ky school books my notes are so messy ajd sll over the place i feel bad for the teachers that mark my exams/assessments😰
Currently reading the Harry Potter books (up to the fifth film, but i thought i should also read the books to compare😊), and im on the fourth novel — Its so THICK and im svared bc my good friend that's lendijg me these said that the next one is the longest 🤯 i might just kms 🙂🔫
I have a cat figurine collection 😱😱 I visit charity shops with my mum (mostly outvof obligation 😵), but we sometimes get lucky and founf ones out of porcelain, glass/crystal, carved in wood, etc 😽🐈🐈‍⬛😺
You know old ladies that wear flower patterns🌸🌺🌷 and middle-aged moms in their late 30s/40s tjay wear cheetsh /leopard print🐆🐆 ? Well im that but as a Gen z girl with an obsession with camo print LMAO,, I have a camo backpack, cargo camo print pants, camo leggings, camo tshirt, camo hat, even fuckijg csmo pencil case LMAO💀💀💀 I WOULD have had a camo phne case too but there wasnt the one i wanted for ky phone...💔💔So Idk i rock (horribly😵) an army fit so whem i CAN i go out in combat boots, cargoes+belt, black or darkgrey tshirt/turtleneck tucked into my cargos, fingerless gloves etc. 😙✌️✨✨✨
If you would like to leanr more, check out this post !!☺️✨✨(well reblog actuslly hahaha)
Tried to include new informwtion aboit myself here so i didjt repeat anytjing 😇, Hope i didnt bore you😰😰😰
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