#IM GOING TO BITE DRYWALL

[saibugslegacy]

Odysseus Carrow living in fear of the day he becomes Odysseus Gaunt only to glow with happiness the day he become Odysseus Prewett instead

[mintytrifecta]

What if I exploded huh. What then.

[koobiie]

fanart for what may be my favorite fic of all time, Running Behind by @asidian! here's prompto enjoying all the foods from the fic beacuse he deserves it <3

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

the picnic table scene

[supersecretsaga]

I FINALLY GOT TO GIVE HODARI CHOCOLATES

i got so excited i almost threw up and promptly had to take a break LMAO

[boxwinebaddie]

heeeeello party people!~ super bacteria uncle nina here using my silly tumblr to cope again ( my culture came back and it was...suuuuper fucking bad! like i knew it would be, lol! awesome! <3 thanks, god! )

but we're not thinking about, what were gonna think about is the time that ravenstan got a little Too tipsy topsy turvy on jerseyky boxwine,

( it's the cab sav one, fyi. i can't drink on all these Fucknut Antibiotics - they prescribed me the wrong one and i took it, if you can believe it; i luv doctors - can y'all believe i did this shit Sober? unREAL, brohs! )

and was on tiktok live, the dawn spawns of the world convinced him to do the 'White Boy Of The Month' filter bc he's too impressionable and what can i say;

The Man LOVES White Boys. ;) xxx

( helpsksdj )

so, he started doing it and was like 'nooooo, is /KYLE/ on this one?!?! You're Joking.' ( everyone said 'JK <3' because they all think they're jimmy valmer stand-up sit-down comedians, smh...but no, naught joking, Actually JK bc in my ncau-niverse, cd and the blondies gang are celebrities, so naturally they’re on A Lot of social filters )

so he was GOING to save The No.1 slot...for the no.1 slut ( if you will, ) my ginger gringo king, ceo of dark academic debauchery and bottom feeding ;), new jay's finest - literally - kyley b matthew broflovski; <33 ( buuuut! he's a reformed manhoe; so watchya mowtH! )

buuuuut x2 ( and i'd say it's a big butt, but it's not, it's ravenstan, so it's flatter than the sidewalk; luh you flat stanley ) Gaydhd Won Again and tipsy ravenstan got distracted by all the FINE ASS WHITE MEN and started getting philosophical about it ( that man put a lil too much #thot into those placings; he was born for it, soz )

had about two spots left ( the top and bottom spots; i am laughing ) figured that there was almost 'No Chance!' he would get jersey...

PUT /MATTHEW! GRAY! GUBLER!/ AT ONE ( Immaculate Taste, btw! he also put jacob elordi at number two because he is a fucking genius and that...really tells you Everything you need to know about my stan. like tall, could probably be a runway model, intellectual, kind of a jackass, stays fitted, accent or eccentric manner of speaking...yeah )

-- BUT HE WANTED TO BE CLEAR, HE HAD TO SPECIFY THAT HE WAS SPECIFICALLY REFERRING TO /DR. SPENCER REID/ OF CRIMINAL MINDS. WHEN I TELL YOU HE HAS NO IDEA WHO MGG IS BUT HE HAS SEEN EVERY EPISODE OF CRIMINAL MINDS SEVERAL TIMES. IT’S LIKE...HIS /FAVORITE/ FKN SHOW. AND HE DOES HAVE A FAT CRUSH ON REID. YES, I DOES TRACK; I KNOW. )

and RIGHT when he was rolling for the very last spot ranking on the filter ( that's the BOTTOM, i repeat, THE B/O/T/T/O/M of the tierlist )

...hE GOT KYLE

FUCKING

BROFLOVSKI

and had to place him at /TEN/.

-- riiiiiiight as Kyle /FUCKING/ Broflovski came out of the kitchen in the dorky ass star of david apron that sheila got him for hannukah, with his hair up and everything, holding a fork so stan could taste...

...T-THE PASTA HE JUST MADE HIM FOR DINNER BECAUSE HE'S A SWEET BEAUTIFUL /ANGEL/....and i'm talking The Very First Bite Of EXTREMELY DELICIOUS KYLE Pasta that he put ZUCCHINI IN JUST FOR STAN BECAUSE HE IS ( what? ) AN ANGEL!! FROM hEAVEN!!!!! AND THE WHITE BOY OF THE /YEAR/: TAKE YA JERSEY SLANDER SOMEWHERE ELSE: HE'S MY WHITE BUOY UVF FOREVA!

...proceeded to Blow On It ;-;, s-so stan wouldn't burn his mouth... ( bc rav always gets too excited and burns his mouth; nooo :c </3 ) and asked him why his phone was blowing up w/ people tagging him in thirst traps of 'That Supa Nerdy Guy From That One Crime Show' and asking him if stan tweeted something about him cooking bc people keep telling him that he's 'Cooked'. SHKDLDHLKS HEEELP.

And....

*rawr xd home mid/hschooled ravenstan vc*

Scene. <3

[owleics-fr]

Winning the skin contest is fun and all but what they dont tell you is that you have to wait until the end of the week before they give the prizes out. Which is fine but i want my skin now, what do you mean i can just buy it myself from joxar? What do i look like? A billionaire? im not made of treasure

[zebracakesarecopingmechanisms]

When you’re overstimulated and every small annoyance makes you want to commit a felony

[rindomness]

rin i am so deeply unwell about cecil palmer.

his mother didn't talk to him except to prophesise his death or remind him he doesn't exist.

his dad made him climb into a tree and get eaten by the smiling god??

he doesn't remember his childhood.

he used to go back to his abandoned childhood home and sleep on the sofa. it's probably demolished now.

he can't go to the grocery store anymore because he's afraid of auctions. and for good reason !!

he was raised by his sister and she always resented him for it.

he describes his family history as a ghost story. his childhood was a ghost story. his life is a ghost story.

he keeps having to watch other versions of himself die.

he didn't choose to be the voice of night vale, it was chosen for him whether he liked it or not. he probably can't quit or resign, he'll probably be the voice until he dies.

leonard burton died in his arms. his interns keep dying or leaving or growing older than him and moving on with their lives while he stays where he is.

his main coping mechanism is Denial and drinking to forget

he dies in a tree every year???? interesting lifestyle choice

terrible things keep happening and he can't do anything about it except narrate !!

also a mirror is gonna kill him. how is he supposed to deal with that. can he not go to walmart?? cause they sell mirrors at walmart !! does he have to call the store before coming in like "hiiii can u pls cover your mirrors or put them away". does carlos do most of the shopping just in case? then what did he do before carlos? does he have mirrors on his car? do his friends cover their mirrors when they know he's coming over? do all reflective surfaces make him nervous? what is it like knowing that such an everyday item can kill you? does he wake up every morning and wonder if today is the day?

SORRY FOR THIS you just reminded me of 171 and that episode makes me feral

DUDE ME TOO WE CAN BE UNWELL ABOUT THIS WEIRD GUY TOGETHER

the tree thing makes me unhinged like WHAT is going ON with that. if it is the smiling god that brings up even more questions. mostly questions about the smiling god honestly!

his entire family is a wreck i really do hope that part of him and Abby talking again was them, like. talking about that a little bit because could you IMAGINE being in that position. like. what do you even do about that

him in 171 being like did your mother tell you she was an oracle before she left like WAUGH. we know that his position as the Voice was prophesied his mom was an oracle was she the one who told him? if so was that the only interaction they had that wasn't her telling him he was going to die/didn't exist or fucking hiding from him? considering his Entire familial situation it's a wonder he's as functional as he is.

the mirrors i want to scream about the mirrors ok . ok. like. YEAH does it apply to every reflective surface or just mirrors? going grocery shopping at all has to be a nightmare yeah no kidding. you know those mirrors sometimes in the drink aisle? how the fuck do you deal with that? do you just shut your eyes? do you just avoid it entirely? I know carlos doesnt do all their shopping bc cecil keeps reading off requests for him to pick stuff up from the store in texts so like How did he deal with that. do night vale stores just not have mirrors?

driving must be a nightmare too you're right i didn't even think about that before holy shit. Can he drive? How? You need to use your mirrors while you're driving. does he walk everywhere? does he have like a bike? a scooter even? i think he can drive bc of first date but like that must be So stressful. I'm just. so. so mentally ill about the mirrors. he was so fucking stressed out by eunomia's visor it made me stressed out how do you lead a functioning life that way

in conclusion thank you and i wanna chew electrical wires about this man

[hematomes]

google how do i express feelings without feeling stupid or like a burden

[vitasexualiiis]

i cant watch the new episode until later and not only am i in Neurodivergent Waiting Mode, but also im gonna vibrate out of my fucking skin from the anticipation

[mayoiayasep]

shiawase de ite.......

[orcelito]

Social media person is so fucking annoying messaging us asking us for our availabilities for tastings every week as if anytime I do one I don't need to take an entire fucking month or so to recover like God Damn there can't be that many influencers around, calm ur tits

[muffinrag]

im going to lose my mind, my roommate brought her mom's puppy over for the day and every single time she goes outside on the grass they wash her paws. w h a t

like they won't take her out to pee again because they don't want to wash her paws again... im... what???? what????????? the dog has to learn how to potty outside, you're supposed to take puppies out every two hours! you're going to give her chapped paws! she's never going to learn that she's not supposed to piss in the house! hello??

[aizawaskittenwhore]

bedroom stats with armin!

hi guys im back, this is not to b taken seriously but i had to get these lil armin hcs out my drafts so enjoy! <3

content warnings: uh..smut!

yeah that’s about it. let me know if i missed anythin in the notes !

im not gonna say “armin likes missionary because hes shy/inexperienced >.<“ because not only is that played out, it’s not even true!!

armin’s thing is backshots w you on your stomach. pillow underneath you for optimal comfort, but sometimes if he’s in a rush, he doesn’t mind using the wall to serve his purpose

yes there are marks from where your neck and chest have mushed themselves into the drywall, forehead smearing sweat against eggshell paint as you revel in how fucking good he feels

he’s so fucking analytical in everything he does, even down to sex positions and what angles hit deepest when he’s fucking you..

Talks You Through It™️

im so deadass.

he loves watching you shiver as his lips come into range, his breath heady as it ghosts along your nervous system, your body zoned in on the sensation that is armin whispering utter filth as he rocks into you again, and again, and again

“i know, i know—“ you’re pushing his lower stomach in protest, his tip poking and prodding sweet moans out of you, body waivering when he molds himself into your cervix for just a second, retreating only to seemingly go even deeper on the next stroke

“move your fuckin’ hand.” is almost a whisper when he says it. but his voice is so deep and so sensuous when it slithers through you like that. naturally, your hand goes limp

“f-feel you in my stomach..”

“just means i got you to feel good.”

prefers to give over receive, less for you more for him

armin arlert relaxes by slurping up pussy juice and honestly, good for him!

does a lot of grunting during sex but his voice is just so breathy so it comes out angelic as fuck mmm

armin is also a whisperer during sex like he loves watching u shiver when he gets real close, body already being propelled from the momentum of him fucking you but when he starts whispering nasty shit in your ear as though he’s not in your guts???

mm

just mm.

throws his head back when he’s about to cum

yes with a lip bite cause for some strange reason he tries not to moan like you don’t love that shit..but go off i suppose

physically speaking no his dick is not enormous but it really makes no difference cause honey

stroke game gives rock the boat, rock the boat

im sorry i really wanted to add that AHAHA

nah but armin’s coming in at like 6.5 hard

and that’s ok!

also contrary to popular belief armin is an ass man.

it’s something about a nice ass and pair of thighs that’s gonna get him hard without fail, as he should

eats it from the back too

no i will not elaborate further

also loves it when you break script and don’t play along

he’s always had a thing for the “taming a bad girl” fantasy, possibly attributed to his rule-following mentality with everything else, but hey what do i know

calls u “nasty girl” when you’re getting nutted on

rubs it in w the tip after facials..

armin is a freak y’all better act like you know

[melobin]

thinking ab forced eye contact w sungchan😵‍💫😵‍💫 grabbing your chin as he fucks you slow and deep. whispering things like "keep your eyes on me, pretty." he wants to see the look in his pretty baby's eyes as he destroys her.

im going to bite into a chunk of drywall i need him to fuck me rn

??£/!/ he needs your eyes on him, needs to watch you as you completely fall apart whilst he splits you open on his cock :( “let me watch you fall apart pretty girl” fucking you so slowly, dragging his cock along your walls.. making sure you feel every vein and ridge of it.. god