#IWillLive

[jacksmind99]

August 2, 2023 - Twice Now

First off, yeah I know I'm a little late. I was busy playing video games. Sue me. Secondly, what should I talk about today? How about working out. I'm typing this while my arms feel like noodles cause I worked out for the first time in 2 or 3 weeks. I began a month and a half ago with my brother, but then stopped when school (yes I take summer classes) became really stressful. I am happy to report as of today I am picking it back up. I have mad social anxiety, so going to a gym is out of the question. Instead, I'm using my semi-gym obsessed brother who has a work out kit in his garage. I am doing the "beginners" workout. 3 sets of barbell squats, 3 lifts of bench press, and 1-3 sets of deadlift depending on my remaining strength.

I have been super duper skinny my entire life. Or at least since puberty. I even got diagnosed anorexic at one point. I never worked out. Rarely ate healthy. Felt and acted like shit. Now, at 23 years of age, I am finally putting an end to that. That's not to day I haven't been making progress over the past few years. Its just that most of my progress has been mental health focused, with physical health a secondary (but still improving!) focus. I'm sure I'll talk about all that another time. But to stay on topic, it feels weird working out. I didn't quite know what to expect, and I cannot say for certain if what I'm feeling is it. But I am happy that I am making a step in the right direction. I am working on myself.

I know I shouldn't get this deep and personal on the second day, but I have awful self doubt. And awful body dysmorphia. And a fear that I am wasting my youth. Living to passively, life on autopilot. That's part of the reason I began this journal. To keep myself in check. To do things I will be happy to journal about. This fall, starting August 25, I will begin my very last semester of college. I have been missing the experience. I have been denying myself the experience. No more. I have improved my mental health. I will improve my physical health. I will be social. I will try new things. I will live, not just be.

I did some searching, and it seems tumblr to Spotify links are 404ing for a lot of people. This just started recently, too. Unfortunate. I didn't like the idea of linking a Youtube video. It just feels so clinky and large. Instead, I will just list the song. (edit: and add the link on top of it)

Weightless - All Time Low

[lilbabylemon]

hhavnt cum4 liike 2 weeeks iithink i might ggo insane soon lol

[caracello]

HOME GOODBYE

[ianthesmells]

do it scared + do it alone + do it accepting that it might not look good/turn out well in the end o_o

[indihome-suck]

Cincin by Hindia would make a good animatic ngl

[screampied]

hi vegas i love ur writing so much !!! please please write more about sukuna's other mouths teehehehehehe >:3 i loved that one thirst u did with his abdomen tongue <3

hiiii thank you sm babie !!!!!💓 IWILLL I PLAN TO

[sunblazes]

Listen to the raincoats please Mara https://ctommy.tumblr.com/ you know im srs Because i called U by your full url.

GOOD LORD!!!!! iwill do this later Im at a damn party ((eevil) IWILLL DO TBIS LATER I PROMMY

[frostbite-the-bat]

totally not nearly 3 am iwilll pass the fuck out soon

i took a nap at like 4-5 pm and was like man idk what to do i wanna sleep lol cant wait for it to be like 11 but then i actually got busy and now its nearly 3 am DERGRG

however now i can eepy however long i like....yesss baby

[sweetieness]

#somedays #ifeelthisway #ontheinside #depending #on #things #that #ichoose #to #effect #me #mainly #on #the #people #iallow #inmybubble Sometimes my bubble is empty because the ones closest to me have always done the most damage! FACTS. So I just can't! #iwilllive

[tridiindonesia]

#IWillLive #InSilentAndPain #Hiks https://www.instagram.com/p/CFmP5F9nBBL/?igshid=1ilf2nls0552c

[johnjacobjinglebell079]

No matter what I face in life. No matter what opposes me. No matter what has happened, is or will. I know I will outlive it all. I am meant to live. I know I’m meant to be. Nothing will ever take that away from me. I may not be the best at this or that, but it’s what’s on the inside that counts, and ultimately determines all. #amen #iwilllive #iamthestrongestwhereitcounts https://www.instagram.com/p/CDTw5fsgWAL/?igshid=1o3ho85s4tljl

[77painting]

Finally feeling better! I can get back to working out and my daily routine! Been needing some yoga in my life for awhile now! Namaste my beautiful people! #yoga #healingpower #healingpowerofyoga #forthebody #forthemind #forthesoul #transformation #tryingtostaypositive #motivated #lifesuckssometimes #ohwell #iwilllive

[iamhereforbts]

A Letter for my Cooperating Teacher

Ma’am, 

I’ll start this letter with a sorry. Sorry for being the least of what an intern should be.

I’m sorry for being the least of the past interns you have.

I’m sorry, for tainting the class you have.

I may have disappointed you in different ways, I am very sorry for the struggles I have brought with me.

You are the woman who values everything and tends to keep everything inside her head. You are and epitome of a woman. You are the best in the things you do and the things you are ought to do.

You have done the best and I thank you for that, Ma’am. I was able to learn different things, and love different things. 

You are the best in what you do, and as I was staying on that room, I have come to realize why a person would want you as their teacher.

I hope there are a lot teacher who would follow your path. 

and to the next intern, give him/ her my regards. 

To that person: you will have the best lesson of your life.

[tsunflowers]

geki4anger stacey guy is so pretty rhank you this iwilll give me somrthing tk do in the meantime after losing donbrothers

I mean after losing zenkai

I figured bc we are nowhere near losing donbrothers. donbrothers is all too real and it's looming over us at this very moment

I hope you like gekiranger! it's a really fun series even outside of rio

[wondermail]

They got ash and soot all over my favorite seat where I have to sit every day or iwilll die

[dailybibledeclarations]

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A post shared by Daily Bible Declarations (@dailybibledeclarations)

Hello friends - #godisfightingforus - It's a new day, it's a new month and it's a new season. This battle belongs to God and we can onlynwin with God. Whatever you're going through, this too will pass. Will you join me in singing this powerful song by @darlenezschech over our lives. Let's keep praying, keep declaring, keep speaking the word until our world is restore. Lyrics God is fighting for us, Pushing back the darkness Lighting up the kingdom. In the name of Jesus Enemy's defeated and we will shout it out, shout it out. I will live, I will not die. I will declare and lift you high Christ revealed and I am healed in Jesus name. #happynewmonth #april2020 #thebattlebelongstothelord #speakitintoexistence #iwilllive #iwillnotdie #iwilldeclare #speakfaith #speakthetruth #speakthewordofgod #speakthewordchangeyourworld #speakit #speakfaithspeaklife #speaktheword #speaklife #declarationoffaith #declareit #declaretheword #ideclare #declareit #dailybibledeclaration #dailydeclarations #dailybibledeclarations #biblicaldeclarations #biblicaldeclaration #bibledeclaration #bibledeclarations #buildingchristianwomen #darlenezschech #christianconfessions https://www.instagram.com/p/B-cGdYRlV8N/?igshid=itb96k1chb4m