#If he were my soulmate it wouldn't be a deal breaker

[scandalousscarlet83]

How to ruin a romantic relationship in three easy steps!

1. Meet the love of your life

2. Tell him you're a fetish model and have an Onlyfans

3. He'll never speak to you again

[aingeal98]

Y'know this is a really broad question and (since I know you're more of a Cass/stephcass kinda person) potentially out of your wheelhouse but I enjoy your perspective on lots of Steph related matters, so indulge me if you will: any thoughts on the argument that timsteph is/isn't 'unhealthy' and/or the characters are unfair to each other/bad partners?

Lots of qualifying clauses in that question, I know, but it's interesting to me because I usually see a lot of staunch arguments that either timsteph is completely/irreparably unhealthy (usually with one half as more of a 'perpetrator' in the eyes of fans) OR that timsteph is exclusively a great romance and that their various ups and downs are either inconsequential or the result of OOC writing.

I think the question is mostly interesting to me bc I see both sides of the argument and to me it raises questions about when things cross the line from "a fictional relationship we're meant to root for that simply contains elements of heightened drama which would be considered unhealthy IRL due to it's fictional nature which we're meant to excuse/suspend disbelief for" to "a fictional reflection of unhealthy dynamics".

This is a lot of yap on my part so again, no hard feelings if you decide to pass up tackling it.

Really good question that I had to think hard about. Ultimately the answer depends on if you mean they're unhealthy in universe vs out of universe, Watsonian vs Doyalist. I'm going to stick to pre N52 only as I think from N52 onwards they were... Fine? But kind of bland. The writers had erased all of Steph's backstory anyway so they had none of their history and were just kind of... Normal dating. But pre N52 in the 90s and 00s is where the unhealthiness is at its peak so that's where most of the discourse comes from.

So in universe I think both of them make mistakes and have certain attitudes and behaviours that could be deal breakers for some people, ie Tim's cheating and how he follows Bruce's footsteps dismissing Steph, and how Steph will sometimes overstep some boundaries because Dixon wanted to write the spunky bad girl pursuing the sensible chaste guy. But ultimately in universe there's nothing so bad that I'd write their entire relationship off as unhealthy, at least not before War Games. They had good moments and bad, and whether you think the good outweighed the bad or vice versa really comes down to what you personally can forgive and understand in a relationship and what you enjoy seeing in fictional romances. So Tim's cheating was an immediate red line for me even though I never thought him evil for it, just kind of dumb. And I'd understand if people still shipped them and thought them sweet despite that. So like, they have their unhealthy moments but I'd be wary of going to either extreme aka "Toxic and evil" or "perfect soulmates who's mistakes were ooc"

This is their pre war games versions I'm referring to. After War Games when Steph came back the writer for Robin basically used her as a tool to give Tim angst and show how cool he was. It's the worst Steph's ever been to Tim but it was also so poorly written and clearly biased thay even from an in universe perspective I can't take it seriously. Everything pre war games I wouldn't count as ooc but this... Yeah this deserves the extreme. It's not even "She wouldn't do that." it's more "Why are you not showing us why she's doing this. How am I meant to accept this when her motivations and characterization is so poorly written." It's like a lesser version of when writers lazily butcher Talia to benefit Bruce or Damian. There's no explanation or motivation for Steph's actions that make any sense, so I have zero interest in that version of Steph because she's even more of a prop for Tim than she was during war games, which was an incredibly disappointing way to bring her back and one of the reasons I'm very glad she got her own batgirl run.

Which brings me to out of universe. Because while in universe I'd hesitate to slap the unhealthy label on them the way I would on say, versions of Bruce that hit his kids (I think there is a big difference between the unhealthiness of timsteph and the writing of Batman as an abusive father, and I think Bruce's dynamic with his kids crossed the line from dramatic to unacceptable and toxic a lot more frequently and more extremely than timsteph did) out of universe looking at them from a perspective of how it benefits their characters I would say it's super unhealthy for Steph. Which is ironic because her romance with Tim and her featuring in his comics is how she became a constant character, but the writing is always trying to remind us that Tim is better than Steph, more heroic than Steph, more suitable for this life than Steph. Only the writing is so bad that, like with a lot of Tim's writing, the proof comes down to "Because Batman said so idk."

And that culminates in the failure that is War Games. Steph becoming Robin is all about getting Tim back. Both in universe as Bruce's motivation and in reality as the writers plan. While Steph is being tortured horribly Tim is helping is classmates as a civilian, and the writing hammers us over the head about how capable and competent and perfect Tim is to the point that I felt nauseous reading it because it felt like such a disgusting way to uplift him. And then when Steph comes back, she's not allowed have any actual emotions or feelings about what happened to her. The writers just throw her into a dumb Tim and Bruce plot without any care about how she would actually think and feel, and the same happens in Red Robin. It's all Tim Tim Tim and only her Batgirl series and her reaction to Bruce being alive actually allow her to be shown as a person and not just a prop to uplift Tim.

So basically in universe they're not my cup of tea but they're not like, abusive or anything. They're just shitty to each other sometimes, but they love each other and have their good moments pre war games. From a Doylist perspective though? I've yet to see timsteph written in a way that actually uplifts Steph's character, as even when she's written by someone who likes her and wants to keep her around such as Dixon there's just so much misogyny in how their dynamic is written. So I'm hoping they never get back together and just stay exes with a past so painful and complicated they don't want to talk about it with anyone, but especially not each other.

Thanks for the ask! I hope this made sense lmao I rambled a whole lot

[9800sblog]

hi jes! how've u been? i hope everything's fine as u read this.

may i request a "things/characteristics that might be a turn off or deal breaker for ateez"? i hope u haven't done something like this before hehe

thank u in advance and have a great day <3

-🪽

ateez deal breakers

based on tarot, a little difficult to interpret as they don't talk openly about relationships, take it with a grain of salt

seonghwa

4 of swords, the hierophant reversed, king of swords

dependence, people that need him to boss them around, that need him to be in control of the relationship, like someone who wouldn't make the first move or high demand people. stuck in their ways, close minded, negative, too introverted (isolated, lone wolves, etc), people that stay lied down in their room all day, people that sleep too much, people that worry too much and would complain and need him to be super nice. not being spontaneous, defensive, controlling and scared.

hongjoong

(he seems super busy these days, cards were jumping and my head and eyes started feeling heavy and my body tired 😮‍💨)

ace of cups reversed, the devil reversed, 6 of cups reversed

I don't think he likes people that are very experienced in relationships. he honestly might have a specific person in mind or just a really reaaaally specific type, so if you're anything different from that, you're just not his person. if he can't see himself being friends with them, having a friendship before and beyond a relationship. someone that doesn't wanna have kids. it honestly feels like he's looking for a soulmate so if you're not them, there's just no hope for you.

yunho

knight of pentacles, 5 of cups reversed, page of pentacles, bottom of the deck: the star

co-workers, other idols, celebrities (basically anyone he couldn't run from if they broke up). doesn't want someone that has just started their career or college students, he's done a lot in his life and he wants someone to match him. he doesn't wanna fix anyone or save them, he just wants someone he can chill with, so no negativity, hard work, pessimism, anyone that would bring his spirit down, he doesn't want to be "the energizer" of his relationship, that's his JOB. he also wants someone that can be around him often, so you can't travel/wander too much; doesn't want people that sleep around and/or just wanna hook up with him, he wants commitment.

yeosang

(always in such a good, lighthearted mood, it's energizing)

2 of wands reversed, temperance reversed, 10 of swords reversed

a wanderer spirit, his job is already so demanding and fast paced, he wants someone that will stick and, again, not travel too much. no patience, he doesn't like to be yelled at. someone that moves too much, doesn't chill, loud, etc. the 10 of swords is making me think of physicals, he prefers athletic builds, so people that don't work out, get tired easily, weak in general wouldn't be able to keep up with him and his preferences/hobbies.

san

2 of swords, 5 of pentacles, page of cups, 6 of pentacles

literally people that leave him out in the cold, don't share their thoughts and feelings with him, keeping secrets. someone that is too decisive, don't ask his opinions and inputs on things. san has changed a lot over the years, he may not want someone that met him before that, he'd feel stuck, so people from his hometown, childhood friends, trainees, other idols and people that his friends recommend may be totally out of question. he'd prefer someone in the same level of fame as him, he doesn't wanna do "charity work" (for lack of better words) or worry of gold diggers and would feel nervous if the other person was more famous.

mingi

(such a happy and innocent dude he's so cute so cute)

page of swords, wheel of fortune reversed, 7 of cups reversed

I could make a very lengthy post just about what mingi doesn't like, he's VERY picky. destiny plays a huge part for him, so basically every characteristic that doesnt match his idea of his soulmate is a deal breaker. but also (even platonically), people that are too nice to any and everyone like it's their job (literally the page of swords), wild, independent, party people, superficial, immature (in his terms). doesn't like people that aren't interested in soulful subjects and/or practices, people that don't think of the future (spontaneous, careless, etc.), or don't study. people that think/dream small, can't see beyond their physical reality, don't support his fantasies, people stuck in reality (he daydreams all the time and loves to dress up as anime characters in real life). etc etc etc there's a lot more coming through, but this is a good sum up, I think .

wooyoung

7 of wands reversed, 4 of wands, 5 of swords reversed

people that get offended easily, he does playful banter even with his mom, so someone too serious doesn't work with him. maybe people that pursue him are a deal breaker, he may like the chase. someone that gets along too well with his friends (he's said he doesn't think men and women can be friends without feelings). "boring" people that don't like to bend the rules sometimes.

jongho

(jongho never gives me permission to read for him, unless I'm totally 300% available so that's a hint)

justice reversed, the world, the empress, ace of wands reversed

impulsive, reckless, hasty, self critical and judgemental of him, unfair/full of prejudice. someone that is too similar to his friends and/or their partners. too independent and in control, don't need him, also doesn't want someone that has a hectic schedule or travels too much, because he takes it slow and steady.

[hot-wiings]

Requested By: Wattpad User

Edited: 2-13-20

Tip Jar

You lived in a society where your skin was marked black where your soulmate would first touch you, and once they touched you the mark turned to gold. Unfortunately, you grew up being part of the minority that thought soulmates were bullshit.

Most people who disagreed with the idea of soulmates didn't have a mark. Unlike them, you did have a mark, you just didn't exactly have the best upbringing which resulted in fear of meeting your soulmate.

Being the daughter of a pro-hero, you had a wealthy lifestyle but your father wasn't the nicest. Daily you watched your father physically and verbally abuse you and your mother.

As a little girl, you used to dream of the day your mark turned to gold. You used to dream of your soulmate taking you away and saving you from your father, but your father soon put a stop to such silly daydreams.

You had the mark of a handprint on your cheek. Your father would always tell you that the handprint was a slap mark. He would always say your soulmate would hit you upon meeting you.

'Who would want such a worthless, quirkless whore as a soulmate?'

You tried not to listen to his words, but years of being verbally berated had programmed and installed fear into your head. To this day, at the age of thirty, you had avoided meeting your soulmate.

Twelve years ago, as soon as you turned eighteen, you cut ties with your father and moved away. You currently live in a small apartment in a big city where nobody knew anybody. It was easier to isolate yourself this way. It was just you, Phoebe, and Joey, your cats. It's better this way.

Deciding to take a short cut, you walk down an alley. You could get home to your cats faster this way. Never had you expected this decision would change your life.

You felt somebody push you into the wall and you struggled to move. It was probably his quirk keeping you immobile, but he had a knife against your neck so you made the assumption that his quirk wouldn't last long.

However, the length of his quirk usage didn't matter when you felt his free hand unzip your skirt. The feeling of being helpless and weak flooded your mind with memories from your childhood. You screamed and yelled until the man pushed his knife harder against your neck.

"Scream and I'll kill you."

You felt him try to shimmy your skirt down your legs when another man came out of nowhere. He had a long scarf around his neck which he used to pull the perps arms away from you.

You scrambled away from the wall, moving away from the man who attempted to assault you, and the man who succeeded in saving you. You pulled your skirt back into place and zipped it back up, giving out a breath of relief as you were covered back up.

You thought about fleeing, but your feet stood there frozen, instead, you watched as the scarf man took down the perp. He was a hero, you could tell that much by his yellow goggles and scarf, a normal citizen wouldn't be wearing that.

The scarf man left the guy tied up before walking towards you. Your breathing heightened at the sight of him. Your fear of men started to kick in, but as he lifted his yellow goggles and you looked at his eyes, something inside you said to trust him.

"Are you alright?"

The man placed one hand on your cheek and the other on your shoulder. He lifted your face up so he could look at your neck which you hadn't even noticed was bleeding.

"It's just a nick, you'll be alright."

Your mind wasn't even on the nick but rather his hand on your cheek – your mark. Your cheek felt nice and tingly, like good electricity. You knew it was his touch on your mark. This hero was your soulmate.

"Y-Your my soulmate..."

Your whole life you avoided confrontation with your mark. You believed that your father was right. You believed that he was going to hurt you once you met him. But it wasn't true, he didn't hurt you. He saved you, he protected you, he was nice.

"Never thought I'd meet you while I was on patrol, but I'm glad I did."

Your first instinct was to flee, but you stayed. Your hands came up and rested on his chest. A small smile played on your face as you gave this man a chance. As you gave your soulmate a chance.

"[Y/N [L/N]. I hope you like cats because that's my deal-breaker."

"Shouta Aizawa. Cats are alright, I just hope you like kids because that's my deal-breaker."

You grin up at Shouta as he grins down at you. You never would have thought that this was how you would meet your new family. You never thought you would go from complete isolation to a kind-hearted husband, precious son, sweet daughter, and five cats in the time span of one week. You never would have thought it, but you never would regret it.