#Ik this isn’t gonna go anywhere anymore

[pepprs]

the renovation starts tmrrw (LOL) and i woke up from a dream abt it crying. awesome

[alister312]

Summary:

Ike wants to do some ghost hunting. Firkle thinks that's some of the stupidest poser shit he's heard.

my first attack for the @spinthetags sp olympics!! some fike shenanigans for @fandomhammer

Read now on ao3 or below the cut!

“You want what? ” Firkle scowled up at the guy in front of him. 

“To do a seance,” Ike repeated. Firkle let out an annoyed huff. He knew the goth code stated he really shouldn’t care about the weird nerd that was Ike coming and talking to him, but the stupid preppy grin on his face got under his skin. Also, it was a ridiculous request. That was his seance stuff for serious goth demon-summoning business, not a prop for some YouTube ghost-hunting stunt that Ike had just pitched to him.

“Come on!” Ike groaned. “There’s gonna be trespassing! That’s pretty goth and hardcore.”

“Wandering around the SoDoSoPa ruins at night isn’t ‘hardcore’, it’s what middle schoolers do to try and feel hardcore,” Firkle muttered. Ike looked down at the ground, clearly in agreement but reluctant to admit it. He started drumming his fingers on the side of his leg, trying to think of some other way to convince Firkle. It was pretty impossible, since Firkle doubted the ruins were as haunted as Ike claimed. Not anymore so than anywhere else in town, at least. They just sold the creepy story the best.

Dicking around with a camera and pretending to feel a chill in the air for clout sounded like the ultimate preppy poser thing to do, but Firkle didn’t really have much else to do that night. The other goths had all graduated at this point and he was getting kind of sick of drinking coffee and smoking behind the school alone. It made for some excellent poetry material, but it sucked. He needed someone to do stuff with again.

“Fine,” Firkle said. He was half regretting the decision already from the shit-eating grin now on Ike’s face, but he also got the feeling that Ike wasn’t going to back off. Now at least he’d get to do a real seance and, if Ike was right about how much “bad vibes” the ruins had, he’d get to unleash a demon on the town or something. Now that would be pretty hardcore and goth.

“Meet me at my house at 8?” Ike asked.

“Whatever,” Firkle rolled his eyes, but when 8:00 came, he was in front of the Broflovski house, wondering if he should knock or throw rocks at the windows to announce his presence. Luckily for the Broflovski family windows, Ike noticed him from his bedroom. He waved to Firkle, then disappeared from sight.

A few moments later, a window on the side of the house opened and Ike jumped out from it onto the nearby tree. Firkle blinked in surprise, watching Ike shimmy down to the base of the trunk and jog to meet him in the street.

“Hey,” Ike grinned. “You ready?”

“You didn’t use your door,” Firkle said, still dumbfounded.

“Of course not,” Ike said. “My mom would pitch a fucking fit if she knew what I was up to. I can’t just walk out through the living room. She’d see me.”

“You don’t care? But… aren’t you, like, a mama’s boy?”

“Hell no,” Ike snorted. “That’s Kyle. You don’t know me. C’mon.” He headed off towards the defunct train tracks at the end of the street. Firkle hesitated a moment before following him. He wasn’t the type to smile, but the corner of his mouth twitched. Maybe tonight would be some fun after all.

***

The SoDoSoPa ruins were as disappointing as they always were. Firkle hadn’t really seen them as edgy since some of the other kids had started using it as their cool hangout spot. Once people like Clyde Donovan regularly came around to a spot, it could not in good consciousness be used as a goth hangout.

Ike was doing a really good job playing up any remaining edginess though, making up stories of murder while pointing to blood splotches that Firkle knew weren’t from anything so exciting. He would’ve heard if there was a murder over here. Still, he had to admit that he found himself believing Ike a little bit. There was something about the way he kept wagging his eyebrows at Firkle (or the camera he made Firkle hold) and the confidence with which he declared he’d totally seen a shadow once.

“It was probably just one of the homeless guys who camp out around here,” Firkle said, still not convinced there was anything interesting around.

“Then how do you explain the fact that it didn’t have feet?” Ike grinned, refusing to be dismissed. There had to be a good explanation but Firkle dropped the subject instead of fighting. Ike was… fine. Not goth, but not awful company. He didn’t want to take the wind out of his sails before they were able to conduct the seance.

They waited for midnight to roll around before setting up. It wasn’t the witching hour, which would be preferable, but Ike’s camera didn’t have the battery life to last until then so they had to make do with the next best time. Thankfully, Ike followed Firkle’s every instruction and didn’t step on his toes at all. He didn’t even flinch when Firkle took out the rabbit he’d brought and told Ike he needed to kill it. The only comment he really had was that Firkle was pronouncing the Latin in the chant wrong.

“What would you know about it?” Firkle said.

“My brother made me help him practice all through high school,” Ike said, “and he was super anal about it.”

“Ugh. I don't need to listen to some prep correcting me,” Firkle muttered.

“Fair, but if pronouncing it right mean we will actually summon and talk to a ghost, don’t you think we should trust the preps on this one?” Ike shrugged with his eyebrows raised, trying to get to Firkle to go along with it. Firkle sighed like the whole thing was such a chore, but nodded. He was also curious if this change would be what summoned a ghost. Pete had done most of the chant reading back before he graduated and Firkle hadn’t been successful since. Besides, he’d already spent the rest of the night humoring Ike. Why not one more time?

With the revised pronunciation memorized, Firkle lit the candles and sat across from Ike in the summoning circle. There was an odd chill around him, but he shrugged it off as just being what Colorado at midnight was like. Without blinking, Ike let the rabbit’s blood spill as Firkle started reading the summoning chant. He almost hesitated, impressed, but kept going. The air grew colder until suddenly the flames on all the candles flared up, surrounding them in a circle of fire. From the center of the circle, a bloody mass started to form.

“Holy shit!” Ike grinned.

“Holy shit,” Firkle echoed, unable to bring himself to do anything but stare at the shape taking place. It wasn’t a ghost like Ike wanted but it was definitely something. Some small black demon, all pointy and a bit… silly-looking, honestly. It hopped around, babbling for a moment, before leaping at Firkle, fangs bared. 

He reflexively held out his arms, blocking in self defense, and the demon bit through his sleeves with ease. Firkle shouted in pain, flinging it off and rushing to the other side of the circle to get as far away as possible. Ike also seemed freaked out now, his eyes darting around, looking for something. They were still in the circle of fire, so escape would involve burning themselves. Having burn scars from escaping a demon sounded like a pretty goth concept, but Firkle hadn’t set down salt or anything so the demon could probably leave the circle too. The demon was regaining its bearings from being flung and looked ready to leap at them again.

“Quick, get it in the cage!” Ike said, pointing toward the cage Firkle had brought the rabbit he’d trapped in. From out of his pocket, Ike got a string of firecrackers. He lit them on the surrounding fire and threw it at the demon. This didn’t seem to hurt the demon in any way, but it did distract it. Firkle grabbed the cage next to him and shoved it trap-door first on top of the little demon. The demon snapped back to its senses and started rattling around the cage.

“I have salt in my bag!” Firkle said, laying on top of the cage, trying to keep it from jostling. “Hand it to me!” Ike scrambled to the bag and dug around for the container of salt inside, then tossed it to Firkle. Firkle opened and dumped it through the openings of the cage, engulfing the demon. 

As suddenly as it’d started going feral, it stopped. The flames of the candles died down too until the fire circle was extinguished, leaving them again exposed to the chilly Colorado night. Firkle rolled off the top of the cage, heaving a huge sigh. He glanced over at Ike, who was checking out the footage on his camera.

“You just keep firecrackers in your pocket?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Ike said, not even looking up from his camera. “They’re pretty helpful. Damn, I don't think we got any ghosts on camera.”

"I told you we wouldn't," Firkle said.

"Yeah," Ike sighed. "I guess the demon works though. Pretty cool pet now, too. I can bring you some mice to feed or whatever if you let me visit it." Firkle let out a “Hm” in agreement and actually smiled a little. Ike wasn’t goth or even emo or a vampire, but he was alright. His own brand of hardcore. And when he asked Firkle if he wanted to do this again sometime (“I’m thinking the graveyard near the church next”), Firkle didn’t tell him that he’d been there more times than he could count and that going there was nothing new to him. It wasn’t, in a way. After all, he’d never gone with Ike.

[dr-lizortecho]

“you are my turquoise”

The Oatian’s are capable of creating semi-permanent psychic bonds (a sort of less invasive/parasitical version of the psychic handprints) which is how they create triads. As mentioned by Theo and Jones throughout season three triads are sources of strength for the members. In 3x10 Theo informs Dallas that “as a triad we found strength in our unity”. This along with Jones telling Isobel in 3x03 that “those boys are pulling away… it feels unnatural. It’s painful even” as well as “they have to choose to come back to you”, implies that a triad only exists for as long as all the members are unified towards a common goal/fighting for their relationship. Creating a balance and working together as one unit. Going off this idea, since aliens can create conscious connections with each other and draw on each other’s energies, in a more subtle way than the handprint (for example Max’s powers chaotically creating a tether in 3x05 and draining Liz and Kyle to keep his body alive), it’s possible they can create these connections in units not composed of three. As well as within units not specifically set up in a familial way.

We see evidence of this drawing on each other’s strength throughout the beginning of season four, while Max and Liz are still operating as one unit towards a common goal. This can be seen in 4x03 when Max tells Liz he’s terrified of what his powers could do and she tells him “then let’s figure out a way to do this without using your powers”. Because she understands and sympathizes with his fears and wants to work towards a common goal, defeating their new threat, while maintaining that bond between them. Which leads into Max attempting to explain why/when these fears don’t affect him in 4x04 by telling Liz “you are my turquoise”. This is a metaphor he reaches for to explain the bond between them, since he couldn’t quite equate it to a triad since their understanding was found family. However, in 3x03 Jones tells Isobel that “the turquoise {is} an amplifier… it boosts {the aliens} abilities”, much like a triad.

Furthermore, in 3x03 Max unconsciously/unknowingly gives Liz a handprint, creating a more direct link. This is the first sign of their bond becoming more cemented (whether from the amount of time they’ve spent trying to get on the same page or from the amount of times Max has marked her). This handprint seems to make more sense as Liz drawing on their bond, Max’s hand rests over the same spot he usually uses to create that psychic link, synapse pathways already created in both their minds. (Random science blurb: A neural pathway is the connection formed by axons that project from neurons to make synapses onto neurons in another location, to enable a signal to be sent from one region of the nervous system to another. Neurons that are used frequently develop stronger connections.)

So Liz’s strive for unity and connection, trying to get into his head and understand why he’s pushing her away, is the final straw that flares that bond to life. Drawing on Max’s strength, to bring that bond to life. This two way bond is further solidified in 4x09 when Max repeats the sentiment of Liz being his turquoise and her response is “you’re mine”, informing him he strengthens her as much as she does him. Which is one of the primary reasons she sends him out of the mindscape before bending to her dark selves will, agreeing to be weak.

This bond between them is something Tezca and Jones both attempt to manipulate. Jones aware of the handprint because of his and Max’s tether creates the scenario for Max to heal Kyle and to have to rely on his healing to save all three of them. While Bonnie mentions in 4x06 that Tezca said Max and Liz were the puzzle pieces of her plan, or rather “the glue that holds them together”. In addition, the show uses visual imagery to depict the handprint bonds and bonds in general. The show uses visual imagery to depict when they’re bonded, setting this up as early as 1x01 with them placing their hands over their chests at the reunion. Something they echo in 4x03 when Max meets Liz at the lab.

[colorseeingchick]

Period Pains (Iwa, Suna, Bokuto)

Periods still stuck. Nothing has changed since part one. But these boys continue to comfort me when I feel like my heart, head, and stomach are going to explode :D. I hope they comfort you too!

A/N: It’s been rough homies. It really do be your own body that tries to attack you -_-. 

Warnings: EMETOPHOBIA (in Suna’s there’s a semi detailed description of vomiting); swearing; foot massage in Bokuto’s (Ik that makes some people uncomfy); gym bros. 

Iwaizumi Hajime

It was common knowledge that you and Iwaizumi were two halves of one insane power couple. 

No questions asked, you both were generally independent when it came to taking care of your own matters, and you were both were pretty independent. 

But there were exceptions- moments where you would both lean on each other, using the other as an anchor and a crutch to get back up and stay on your feet. 

Your period was one of those times when times you needed your beloved boyfriend to play that role. 

Today was one of those days. 

You and Iwaizumi head over to the gym at around 6 am to get your early morning workout in before you go through with the rest of your day.

You had told Iwaizumi the night before, and he asked if you still wanted to “go gym” the next morning. 

You said yes, hoping that a solid workout would help with some of the cramps. 

And once you had got there, you had your hopes up. 

The first half of your workout was going really well, and you hadn’t thought of your cramps at all. 

But then it hit you while you were walking over to get your water bottle. 

You didn’t know why, but the cramps hit you hard. Instantly you went to the bathroom to try and compose yourself, but that wasn’t really helping either. 

You didn’t wanna bother Iwaizumi mid workout, so you tried to carry on. 

Unfortunately, that didn’t work out too well. 

As you tried to keep going, the cramps in your stomach got worse and worse, until you were pressing your stomach with your hands, curled over yourself on your yoga mat. 

Taking deep breaths, you tried to relieve the only worsening cramps. 

It wasn’t until a warm, firm hand caressed your back did you look up from your curled up form. 

“1 to 10.” Iwaizumi asks you with a soft voice. 

“4.” You say as you curl into yourself once more. 

It was the pain ranking system that you’d both been using since early on in your relationship. You knew exactly what he meant, and you were honestly thankful that he understood you were in pain by just looking at you. 

“Lying to me doesn’t do any good, ya know.” His words are harsh, yet the concern in his voice kills any intimidation that was supposed to come across. 

“7.” 

“Sounds right.” Iwa’s one arm wraps around you, digging into your side, his thumb massaging circles into the spot right above your left hip, while the other hand rubbed softer circles onto your lower belly. 

You felt your muscles untense as his hands worked away at your cramping stomach with deep pressure only he had the strength to apply. 

“What’s wrong with her?'' 

Both of you look up to see some guy (he seemed like a newbie, neither of you had seen him before) talking to your boyfriend. 

“What.” Iwa’s voice is dry, in shock at the fact that this dude was in your business. 

“Did she injure herself working out or something?” He asks, as if you were incapable of speaking for yourself. “Not being careful in the gym can be really dangerous, especially if you’re not trained.” He speaks in your direction this time. 

Iwaizumi Hajime (27) ATHLETIC TRAINER, now looked like he was ready to commit murder. 

Some of the regulars had now turned to watch, most giving the guy dirty looks.

A couple of you and Iwa’s closer gym bros step towards you both, making some preparations for Iwaizumi to swing. 

But before anyone can really say anything, your voice cuts through. 

“That’s real rich coming from you. The only thing that’s gonna cause an injury is your horrendous deadlift form.” 

Your boyfriend goes from a state of shock into a fit of snickers, the guys on the side also amused. The guy in front of you goes completely red. 

“You don’t know what you’re talking about you bi-” 

“I actually think she’s right. I was a bit worried, too.” One of Iwa’s (very buff) friends stepped forward, smiling at you two before putting a hand a on the newbie’s shoulder. “Let’s go check it out.”

As you sigh out, your boyfriend stares at you with pride and amusement both bright in his eyes. “All that pain and you’re still able to come up with snarky comments.” 

As his hand returns to soothing circular motions, you dig your face into his chest. 

The soft touches from Iwa were enough to ease your pains, and allowed you to embrace your moment of vulnerability with your sweet boyfriend. 

“Let’s dip and get food, okay? And you can just rest at home. You deserve a break.”

“Weren’t you saying something about how the grind doesn’t stop-”

“It stops when your health is on the line. Let’s go.”

Suna Rintarou

When it comes to you being on your period, Suna is by far the most hands off while simultaneously being the most attentive. 

Suna wasn’t necessarily the biggest on PDA. But when it was just you two? He had no problem being all up against you.

The only situation Suna does not know how to navigate is when he can’t read someone’s moods or behaviors. Luckily for him, you were overly clear with his emotions and needs when you were on your period, even if those moods and needs were all over the place. 

Early on, when you got together, he was a bit surprised to see how bad your period could get.

He’d walked in to your room one day to see you in a fetal position, rolling around on the floor.

He’d seen you go a full day of eating only junk food, upset and trying to satiate all your cravings. 

He’d also seen you go without sleep because of how bad your cramps were.

Essentially, he’d learned you’d go through really bad health habits, and he’d assigned himself the roll of trying to make sure you maintained some regularity while on your period. 

He was ready for anything, so ready that he made it look effortless. 

When Suna came back from practice one day, he couldn't find you anywhere in your shared home. Which isn’t a problem, but he doesn’t recall you saying you were going anywhere....

It’s not till he lazily stalks over to the hallway and hears a horrible retching sound that he realizes you are still home. 

Swinging the door open, he finds you perched over the toilet, vomiting in what looks to be a super painful manner. 

“Rin...ta...r-oh fuck” you can barely get his name out before you start throwing up again. 

Your boyfriend takes a step into the bathroom, but you toss an intense ‘no’ his way with your hand. 

“It smells disgusting… and… I don’t want to be smothered right now…” you sigh as you breathe between your bouts of vomiting. 

He takes a deep breath, recomposing himself. He knows your period can get pretty bad, but he hasn’t seen it get this bad in a while. He obliges, but he doesn’t move from the doorway. 

As you start your next fit, Suna’s face remains blank, but his heart twists. 

He slowly approaches you, kneeling beside you. 

“I said to not.. To smother me....” your protest is weakened by your body inhibiting your ability to speak. 

Suna keeps a bit of space between you two, but he gently grabs your hair, pulling strand by strand, until its completely out of your face 

(alternatively, if you have short hair), Suna keeps a bit of space between you two, but he lets his hand gently rest on your back, rubbing in soothing circles . 

Your hand goes up to push him away, but he grabs your fist with his larger hand, weaving his fingers with yours, rubbing his thumb into the back of your hand. 

“I won’t smother, don’t worry. But I’m gonna be here.” He’s soft in his tone, unfazed despite the relative unpleasantness of the situation. 

As you finally stop, you fall back, your hands covering your eyes. 

As you lean back, your body giving out, your head finds its way onto the plush chest of your green eyed boyfriend. He doesn’t touch you, but just acts as a makeshift couch for you to lean on. 

“Rintarou.” “

Yeah?” 

“I need your touch.” 

Your words are blunt but effortlessly received as your boyfriend instinctively wraps his arms around you, languidly stroking your thigh with one hand and holding your stomach with the other. He adjusts you so that you’re pressed up against him. 

“Better, babe?” he asks as he backs up into the wall, loosening up as you relax against him. 

“Mmm.” You croon, sinking down against him. “I should  brush my teeth, I’m sorry you came back to this.”

“It’s fine. Get cleaned up. Wanna watch movies? I got Chinese takeout.” 

“I don’t want Chinese,” you comment.

 “What do you want?” 

“Pizza.” 

“...”

 “...”

 He sighs. “I’ll be back in 20.”

 “I love you.” you smile at him as you tell him what he already knows. 

He presses his nose into your hair, letting your conditioner’s scent fill his nose. “Mmm… and I love you.” 

“How much?” You ask.

“How much do I what?” 

“How much do you love me?” 

“Enough to get you pizza at 10 pm in the pouring rain.” 

“It’s raining??”

“Yeah.”

“...Nevermind I don’t want pizza anymore.”

“Well I want pizza now so I’m going.” He pulls himself up and out of the bathroom despite the way you tried to cling to his leg to keep him from leaving. 

“Rin!”

Bokuto Koutarou

Bokuto is honestly the ideal boyfriend, especially when you are on your period. 

Early in your relationship, when you got on your period, you didn’t tell Bo. But he ended up learning the hard way. 

He’d come back from practice a bit later than usual and didn’t text you. Usually he didn’t, especially if he knew he’d only be a little late. But when he walked through the doors, instead of finding his usually happy, bubbly girlfriend who usually showered him with love, he was greeted with you crying. 

“W-why didn’t-t you text me, Kou? Do you-u not care about me?” 

He had nooo idea what was going on, and he was very panicked and sad. 

He felt like the rug was pulled out from under him when you proceeded to snuggle into his chest 2 minutes later, cries completely stopped. His little owl eyes were wide open and very confused. 

2 days later, he asked about the situation again, scared to bring it up.

But you were really embarrassed as you explained how you were on your period and could get extreme mood swings. You apologized and promised that you’d never do something wild like that again.

But Bo wasn’t content with your answer. 

He went and asked Akaashi if he knew anything about what periods were like (he was shy to ask you). 

Akaashi found the lovely statistic of “period pain being of equal pain levels of a heart attack” and Bokuto lost his shit. “

I’ve never had a heart attack, but they kill people! And they go for the hospital for those! And she apologized for being a little emotional… that doesn’t seem right, right Kaashi?”

Akaashi agrees, of course. And sends Bokuto off with the advice of “she’s always there for you. All you have to do is be there for her.” 

When the next time you had your period rolled around, and you found yourself a little emotional, you did your best to control it. But Bokuto was having none of it. 

“Baby, you don’t have to hide it! You can be emotional!! I don’t mind. You always help me when I’m emotional! I can do the same for you. I’ll take the best care of you, I promise!” 

You would honestly call it a turning point in your relationship, cause this was when you learned to start really depending on Bo. And you realized just how dependable he could really be. 

When Bokuto comes back from practice today, he finds you splayed out on the couch, koala-hugging a pillow, whimpering a “welcome home” between grunts of pain. 

Bokuto stays quiet as he walks up to the couch, dipping down to place a kiss on your cheek before stripping his sweaty t-shirt off as he walks off to take a shower. 

Once he comes out, fresh and clean, he throws on a comfortable t-shirt and shorts before coming back to find you on the couch. 

He grabs your legs, pulls them up, sits down, and then places them in his lap. “Baby, do you want a massage? I can press your legs.” 

“You don’t have to, Kou, it’s okay.” 

“I want to!” He cheers back as he starts to knead at your calves, moving down to your feet and slowly pressing over your socks. 

You sigh and huff, slowly relaxing as the soothing feeling of the pressure applied to your feet counteracts the pain you felt in your lower abdomen. 

While Bokuto concentrates intensely on massaging your calves again, he perks up at the sound of a sniffle.

 Swinging his head, he sees you slowly dissolving into sobs. 

Panicked, he slides your legs onto the couch and comes by your face. 

“Baby, did I press too hard? Did I hurt you? Please tell me.”

“No, no, Kou, you’re fine. I’m just- I’m so lucky and blessed to have such a loving amazing boyfriend~” you get the words out as tears stream down your face, turning to look him in his big, gorgeous, gold eyes. “I don’t deserve you, my love.”

Now, for reasons unknown, Bokuto finds himself crying as well. 

“Why are you crying!” You cry and laugh out at the same time. 

“Because I have such a sweet girlfriend who always showers me in love! Don’t say I don’t deserve you. You’re perfect for me.” 

Cheesy as the exchange was, it was really soft for you. Because you knew Bokuto, and you knew he meant every word exactly as is from the bottom of his heart. 

Crying while your laughs got lighter, you pull him in and kiss him all over his face. 

He laughs too, and holds your face as he pulls away, swiping the tears from under your eyes. “Your turn!!” 

After smothering you with kisses, he picks you up and carries you to your shared bedroom, so he can love on you more, with enough space for both of you to lay next each other and peacefully drift off to sleep. 

A/N: Gym guys who don’t mind their business seriously bother me. I hope you all enjoyed! Requests and commentary are greatly appreciated :D 

[serendipityseulgi]

8 Ways of Love;

— park seonghwa

according to the ancient greeks, there are eight different types of love. here is:

･*:༅｡ the one known as pragma, the enduring love.

aka, the kind of love that matures and develops over a long period of time, and somewhat rare to find. 

8 ways of love series; version i

A love story that shows the progression of yours and seongwha’s relationship from the moment you two become friends, to lovers, to exes, and everything else in between. 

love catalyst: the subconscious.

At the age of six years old you declare Park Seonghwa to be your boyfriend, solidifying your “relationship” with a hug.

“Eww, y/n, you have cooties!” your best friend barks, pushing you off him.

“Wha- hey no I don’t!” you squeak.

“Yes you do because Mingi told all the boys not to touch the girls because they have a disease and it’s going to eat our bodies alive!” he practically screeches getting up from the sandbox about to walk away from you.

“Seonghwaaa he’s lying!” you whine out and he huffs turning around to face you.

“Well all the other boys are listening to him so he has to be right.” 

“Well I touched you yesterday when we were playing tag and you’re fine!” you defend. “And if all girls have cooties then how come your mommy still hugs and kisses you goodbye in the morning? Wouldn’t you be dead now?”

Even at the age of 6 you were the biggest smartass Seonghwa knew.

After a moment of deliberation, he sighs. “Okay fine, you’re right.” your friend huffs. 

“So are you gonna back so we can play again?” you ask, arms crossed over your little body. 

Seonghwa nods before grabbing onto your hand to drag you back into the sandbox. 

The two of you return to making your sandcastle and it’s only a mere two minutes later does your friend speak up.“Am I actually your boyfriend now?” he asks suddenly and you whip your head towards him.

“Well I hugged you so yeah.” you roll your eyes at him and his soft little laugh makes your tiny heart jump.

Within the next week you two forget you’re “boyfriend-and-girlfriend” and go back to being the best friends you’ve always been, playing in the sandbox after school, watching cartoons at your house, and never missing a single dinner together while your parents listen to the two of you talk your little heads off.

For the record, there wasn’t much of a difference in your so-called relationship and your friendship in the first place when you were just six years old.

 At thirteen years old, your best friend confesses he likes you.

“Okay I know this is weird because, I should see you as like, a sister or something, I don’t know!” Seonghwa rants, pacing back and forth in your bedroom as you watch him frantically explain the way he feels about you.

“You know what I mean though? You’re like, practically family to me! Right? Right...” you figure he’s talking more to himself than to you as he asks himself questions that he’s quick to answer to. “Like you’re probably gonna think I’m weird or something, but you are my best friend and I don’t want it to be weird-”

“Seonghwa for the love of god can you just get to your point.” you interrupt impatiently.

“I like you okay?” he says quietly, avoiding all eye contact with you. 

His heart is beating so fast he feels like it’s actually going to rip right through his chest. He’s never been nervous around you ever. You’re his best friend, and you have been since you were 5 years old, and he doesn’t know why he suddenly feels like you’re the only girl he wants in his life. 

When he hears you laughing at him his heart drops to his stomach and he braces himself for the upcoming rejection.

“Can you come sit next to me.” you ask, gesturing to the empty spot on your bed. 

Seonghwa complies, yet his anxiety is rising by the second. He has never been so nervous in all the thirteen years he’s been alive. He almost wants to vomit as his stomach churns at the thought of you telling him you didn’t feel the same way.

“You’re rejecting me aren’t you...” he sighs, plopping down onto the spot next to you.

You shake your head with a smile. “No idiot, I like you too. Obviously.” you roll your eyes at him.

“Wait, what? Seriously??” he almost goes into shock. “Are you joking?”

“I mean, I thought it was pretty obvious.” you shrug. “I was throwing subtle signs at you for the longest time.”

“Like what?!” 

“Like the time I kept pestering you to take me to the Valentine’s Day dance, and when I made you hold my hand during that scary movie when you know I never get scared of horror films. Oh, and the time you kept badgering me about why I rejected Hongjoong for no good reason. I kept telling you that you were the only guy I needed in my life and you were too oblivious to realize I didn’t mean it in the friend way anymore.” you chuckle.

“Oh... Oh,” Seonghwa realizes. “I really am oblivious then.”

“It’s okay, I already knew you liked me back anyways.” you smirk at him, grabbing your remote off the bedside table.

You flip the TV on as you feel Seonghwa’s heavy gaze on you. “So does this mean you’re my girlfriend?” he asks you and you pause.

“I mean technically we never broke up when we were six so you’re basically just re-asking me out.” you tease, pulling the blankets on both your bodies as you settle on a show to watch.

“Oh god, you still remember that?” 

Of course you do. 

“Obviously, how could I forget you screaming to the entire park that I had cooties.” 

He laughs at that and you can’t help but smile widely hearing him. You both lay comfortably next to one another, watching intently at the show in front of you, yet both your minds were racing at the fact that officially, you could say you were boyfriend and girlfriend. 

“So when did you start liking me?” he asks you. 

“Honestly, I think I always did.” you answer truthfully. “But, like actually realizing my feelings for you?” you pause for a moment to think. “I think it was when you got really sick that one time and your parents were away for a business trip, and my mom made me drop off soup to your house. And I was only supposed to drop off the soup but I took care of you because even when you were all snotty and gross and barely awake to hang out with me, I kinda just realized I’d rather spend my time with you doing that than anywhere else.”

His eyes soften at you. “Aww.”

“Buuut then before that, there was also that time that Ashley told you she liked you and I got super jealous and I was actually going to shove her into a brick wall, so ...I kinda just figured...” you add.

“Way to ruin a sappy moment, moron.” Seonghwa playfully shoves you and you laugh. 

You cuddle up next to him returning your attention back to the show in front of you. Only a few minutes pass before Seonghwa speaks up again, and his question catches you off guard.

“What if we break up... like eventually?” 

You think about it for a second. “Then we go back to being best friends.”

“That easy?”

“That easy.” you nod. 

“For the record though, I don’t ever want there to be a time where I don’t like you. I hope there isn’t.” he says.

“I hope there isn’t either.” you assure, and just like that, you two go back to watching tv.

You’ve always had a soft spot for Seonghwa so it never came as a surprise to you, or anybody for that matter when you figured out you had a little crush on your best friend. 

In a hypothetical situation, if somewhere along the way your feelings ever started to fade, you still couldn’t picture a life where he wasn’t right beside you no matter what. He was your person, and he has been since you two were five. There was nobody in this world that could replace the bond you had with him.

Even at the age of thirteen, you knew you wanted Seonghwa to be there for the rest of your life.

At the age of fourteen and a half, you and Seonghwa have your first ever fight where he conveniently declares that he loves you for the first time. 

seonghwa <3; received 4:24 pm

y/n can u not be like this and talk to me :( 

plsssssss

i’m sorry

can u let me come over and talk to u

Your phone continues to buzz as you stare at it beside you, rolling your eyes at his insistent messaging.

You try your best to ignore it but the continuous beeping irritates you to no end.

you; delivered 4:26 pm

no

i’m mad at u.

seonghwa <3; received 4:26 pm

:(

you; delivered 4:27 pm

can u like do smth with ur life instead of bothering me

seonghwa <3; received 4:27 pm

ouch.

Okay, you admit. That one was a low blow and for a second you almost feel bad until you’re reminded of the fact that you were still royally pissed at him.

you; delivered 4:28 pm

ur actually annoying

seonghwa <3; received 4:28 pm

ya ik i am

but yk what i’m not

someone who is going to do nothing about their gf being mad at them

so open ur window bc im climbing up so i can apologize

stop being a meanie and let me say sorry

Despite how mad you still are, your heart can’t help but skip a beat reading his messages. No matter how hard you wanted to stay angry at him and tell him to go away, you knew you wouldn’t be able to resist him even if you tried. Seonghwa was charming like that, always managing to sweet talk you in every way. 

You crack open your window and see his tuft of black hair climbing up your ladder. As he hops into your bedroom you fold your arms across your chest, not daring to say a word to him until he speaks first.

“Look, I’m sorry for being an ass earlier.” Seonghwa apologizes, and all you do is look at him. He sighs before continuing. “I was just having a bad day and took it out on you and I shouldn’t have blown up on you during class. I get it. Dick move.”

“But then you had to go and talk to Ashley about it?” you added. “That was like the worst part of it! Do you trust her more than me or something?”

“What? No! Of course not!” he panics. 

“You, and everyone else and their mother knows she’s like obsessed with you!” you shout in frustration. “She’s liked you for so long, do you know how stupid you made me look running off to her knowing how she feels about you?!”

“That wasn’t my intention-”

“Were you trying to make me mad?”

“No, y/n.”

“Did you do it to make me jealous?”

“No!”

“So why Seonghwa, did you have to go and vent to her after you yelled at me in front of everyone when all I did was try to help?”

“I don’t know, okay!”

“I just don’t understand why me of all people you had to take it out on. When all i’ve literally done for you for like the last ten freaking years of us being friends was listen to you when you had a bad day or try to cheer you up when you were down! Never once when I was feeling crappy did I take that out on you. Never.” you explain with a heavy sigh. 

“I’m sorry.” he doesn’t know what else to say because he knows he’s in the wrong. 

“Do you like her or something?” your voice is quiet and the hurt is evident. “Cause if you do just tell me.”

Seonghwa is quick to shut you down as he pulls you into his arms.

“No, no, no. Y/n, I don’t like her. I don’t. Please believe me.” he begs. “Look, I don’t know why I went to her when I should’ve gone to you. I couldn’t even begin to explain what was going through my head at that point because I don’t know. But I love you, okay? I would never, ever like Ashley.”

Your eyes widen and you pull away from him. “W-what did you just say?”

“I... um...” Seonghwa starts to fumble over his words because he didn’t exactly intend to tell you, but it sort of just came out and now he’s starting to panic.

“Do you mean it?” you ask.

He just nods, a little embarrassed at his sudden declaration.

“I love you too.” you say softly, and he relaxes.

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

"I’m really sorry, y/n.” he pulls you close to him, burying his face into your hair as he hugs you tightly.

“I’m sorry too.” you murmur against him.

“I hate fighting with you.” he mumbles.

“Me too.”

“I promise I’ll never take my anger out on you again. And I’ll never talk to Ashley again. And I’ll literally do whatever you want me to if it means you won’t stay mad at me because I don’t like it when you’re mad at me, and I hate making you sad.” he rambles and you let out a small chuckle.

“Just come lay down and watch Friends with me.”

“Okay.”

And you ultimately forget that you’re mad at Seonghwa because you decide that you can’t really stay mad at him after he tells you that he loves you. And although all is forgiven, he still decides to grovel for the next week as a reassurance that he really meant his apology.

So at fourteen years old, you have your first, and last fight with him.

At the age of sixteen, you celebrate your three year anniversary with Seonghwa, and decide you were ready to lose your virginity to him.

“Okay I know you said that the expensive dinner date was enough of a present for you, but you know me and always overdoing it....” he says behind you as you hear the crinkling of a bag behind you.

“Seonghwa...”

“Trust me, babe. You’re gonna love it.” he assures as he walks over to you.

Your eyes instantly fall onto the small red velvet box in his hands and your mouth falls open.

“This was expensive wasn’t it?” you pry and he shrugs.

“Maybe, but I was saving up for it for a while now.” he responds, sitting next to you as he hands you the box.

“I always feel bad every time you spend money on me.” you sigh as your fingers smooth over the velvet.

“I know but it was worth it, trust me. Open it.” Seonghwa urges.

You pull apart the bow and lift up the lid, your eyes widening in awe at the shiny ring placed inside. You lift it out gently noticing the small engraving on the inner part of the band, with both your initials and a small ‘i love you 4ever’ written underneath.

“Oh my god,” you utter. “I love it.” you place the ring on your finger.

“Good because I have a matching one too.” your boyfriend grins at you as he pulls out another box lined with a silver band with that very same engraving. 

You pull him in for a hug as he wraps his arms around you instinctively and all you can feel right now is an overload of gratitude for him. 

“I actually love you so much.” you say, pulling his face towards you to press soft kisses all over his face.

“Yeah, I know I’m the best,” Seongwha chuckles. “But I love you too baby.”

Your lips mould together perfectly, the kiss slow and soft at first. His hands wrap around your waist and your mouth moves gently against his. But soon enough you’re clinging to him and his body is pressed against yours, the kiss growing more needy and intense.

You knew when things started to get heavy he would stop the both of you from going further, never wanting to push you to discomfort. The furthest you had gone with one another was only third base, but it never went further than that and Seonghwa always left that decision up to you if you wanted to take it there.

You figure if you don’t speak up now, he was going to cut this short, so it’s only then at this very moment do you decide you wanted him to be your first.

“Do you want to have sex?” you blurt out suddenly and you swear you’ve never seen your boyfriend’s eyes go so wide before. 

He opens his mouth to speak but he can’t seem to find the right words to say. “I- um, wait, are you being for real?” he stutters. “I mean, I do want to, but, are you sure you want to?” he asks, still in disbelief from your question.

“Shit, sorry I know that was really sudden to ask, but I do want to.” you assure. “But only if you want to.”

“Of course I want to.” his eyes soften, and his hand finds yours in an instant delivering a comforting squeeze.

“Okay so come here and kiss me again please.” you say quietly.

And just like that, Seongwha’s soft lips land on yours once more. Without breaking apart he gently guides you to the head of his bed, laying you down underneath him as your bodies press up against each other.

You swear you can kiss Seongwha for hours and never grow tired of the feeling. You get drunk off his kisses, unable to think of anything else but him. It’s dizzying really, but you love it. You find that off all the things you love about him its his lips, and how impossibly soft they are and how familiar they feel against your own. How much comfort it would bring you, and how all you had to when you had a bad day was just kiss your boyfriend for however long he let you.

It felt like home.

His lips trailed lower to your neck, littering soft pecks across your skin. Quiet noises escape your lips and Seongwha can’t help but grind against your lower half. His hands travel across your body and the ache between your legs grows by the second, and the only thing you can think of is how much you love him, and need him.

Your mind kind of blurs because the next second you find yourself both naked and he’s fiddling in his drawer to find what you assumed to be a condom. He notices your curious stare as he opens his mouth to speak. “M-my dad told me to keep these in here,” Seongwha stutters. “He said to be prepared in case the time comes, and well, here’s the time I guess.” he laughs lightheartedly and the very sound makes your heart swell. 

“Nice call on Papa Park I guess,” you joke and Seongwha chuckles.

He climbs over you and delivers another peck to your swollen lips. “Okay, no more mention of my dad please when I’m about to put my penis in you.”

“Sorry, sorry.” you chuckle nervously as your boyfriend pulls you in for another kiss. 

"Okay, if it hurts tell me to stop and I will, alright?” his eyes stare deeply into your own.

You nod at him with a small smile, admiring what little of his face you could see in the darkness of his room. “I will, don’t worry.”

“Okay.” he sighs, positioning himself in front of you. “I love you.” he whispers against your lips. 

“I love you more, baby.” you say to him before you feel him push himself inside you. You gasp at the feeling and he stills in his spot to let you adjust. 

And once you signal that it’s okay for him to move, he does at a slow pace, and you gasp at the intense pleasure. Even though the pain has subsided his thrusts are still slow and controlled, and you don’t know if it’s because he’s afraid to hurt you, or if he just wants to revel in the feeling of you around him. Either way your heart fills with love for this one boy. 

“I love you so much, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, you  know that?” he whispers in your ear and your eyes shut at his words and the newfound feeling you would grow to love. “and thank you for trusting me right now...” his breathing grows heavy. “because I would do anything for you, and I just want you to know that, okay?”

You almost feel like you could cry because above all the pleasure that you’re experiencing right now, his words feel different, more intimate, and all the more meaningful to you. 

And you believe every word he says because you know he truly means it.

“I would do anything for you too.” you repeat his words back to him and he buries his face into your neck as he continues to thrust into you. 

So at sixteen years old, you have your first time with the love of your life. And you tell yourself that no matter what happens between the both of you, you were never going to regret giving that part of yourself to him. 

At the age of eighteen years old, you do the unthinkable.

You decide after a long and heavy conversation, you two were going to break up. You were both set to leave town to pursue your studies at your dream schools, and you felt that parting ways at this point was the better option.

While you two could figure out a way to make things work while half way across the world from each other, you had to take into account all the factors that would drive you two apart. The time difference, the long distance, the fact that you were inevitably going to meet new people, and that you simply did not want to hold each other back from experiencing a life without one another. 

Because all you’ve known almost your entire life was being with Seonghwa, and him with you. You knew it was only fair to give each other the chance to explore something new, and now was that time.

It wasn’t an easy decision by any means, and although it was an amicable split, you’ve never felt the pain of a broken heart before. It hurt really bad.

Your friends and family decide to throw you both one last goodbye party, wanting to celebrate this special milestone with you. And of course there was no way you and Seonghwa could pass up the last good night you two would have together as a couple.

The party was fun at first. The dancing, the singing, the laughing, and the endless exchange of pictures as you guys shared the last few memories you would have as high school graduates. 

But as the night started to creep in, you both realized that in less than 24 hours, you two would no longer be attached to one another like you had been for the last thirteen years. And after five years as a couple, you still couldn’t believe that your relationship would come to an end, just like that.

You hear the faint music in the background of your house, as you and Seonghwa sit in your backyard, gazing up at the stars.

“This fucking sucks.” Seonghwa sighs, resting his head on your shoulder as you lean your head on top of his. 

“I know.” your throat burns, suppressing the urge to cry. 

“I just didn’t expect this day to come. I never thought we would actually break up with each other.” he admits, and you nod your head in agreement. 

You grab onto his hand rubbing comforting circles onto his skin, and you feel Seonghwa’s body start to shake next to you. You don’t want to look at him because you know if you see him cry, you’ll cry too.

You close your eyes trying to control your heavy breathing and the quivering of your lips. Your eyes are watering but you refuse to let your tears slip, and your heart hurts like it’s never hurt before, and you don’t know if the pain will ever go away.

“Seonghwa I really love you.” your voice breaks and you finally let the tears fall.

“I know, baby.” the pet name has always affected you, but now more than ever it tugs at your heart strings in a bittersweet way. “I really, really love you too. Always.”

“You know you’re the love of my life right? You’re always going to be.” you state and he delivers a squeeze to your hand in acknowledgement.

“And you’ll always be mine.” he answers back. “You’re my best friend in the whole world and the last five years with you as my girlfriend will forever be the greatest five years of my life. I will always stand by the fact that you are the best thing to ever happen to me.”

As you stare at one another with teary eyes, he knows you’re saying the same exact words to him. He doesn’t need to hear you say it, nor does he expect you to. Your eyes say more than enough to him.

You look down at the rose gold band around your finger and you realize how long you’ve kept it on, never once taking it off since that day Seonghwa gave it to you. “Do you want your ring back?” you utter, your eyes watering once more.

Seonghwa shakes his head. “Please keep it. Because I still mean it. And I always will. I’m gonna love you forever, y/n. Even if you decide to take it off, if that’s the last reminder you have of how much I love you, then please keep it.”

Your heart is hurting, and the tears seem never ending as they continue to fall down your cheeks. “I don’t want to leave you Seonghwa.” a sob escapes from your lips, and Seonghwa squeezes your hand again.

“I know, baby but you have to. You’re going to the school you’ve dreamed of going to since you were in the fourth grade. You’re going to accomplish so much and a build a great life for yourself, y/n. And even though I won’t be physically with you, I’m always going to support you every step of the way.” he assures.

You knew in a perfect world you two didn’t have to break up. But long distance was a bitch, and you moving across the world was never going to be easy on him. You couldn’t force each other to wait for the other. Not when the both of you had to start a whole new life separately. You had to let each other go.

You turn to face him, your teary eyes staring into his own. “I’ll always support you too, okay? No matter what. I want you to make the most of your time in Seoul, study hard, surround yourself with good people and have the most fun you’ve ever had. You’re gonna make so many friends and pursue the career you’ve always wanted and experience new things that you’ve never done before. And most of all, you’re going to meet a girl and love her just as much as you loved me. And you’re gonna fall in love all over again, and just be happy. Just promise me that you will make the most of your time over there and live your life to the fullest. Don’t look back, don’t wait for me. Just live until I get to see you again.” your voice breaks. “And if somehow we find our way back to one another, then just know everything we did up to that point was worth it.”

Seonghwa lets out a sob and nods. “I promise.” his voice breaks and you pull him in for your last goodbye kiss.

At nineteen, you visit your hometown for Christmas, which was the first time you’d be back in a year and a half. 

Having missed out on the chance to visit last year with your busy schedule, you made sure not to pass up the chance to see your family and friends. The more you grew accustomed to your new home you managed to find a good balance between school, work, and your personal life, so you found that this year was finally a good time to return back for a visit.

And there was no better time to come home than for Christmas day.

“Yeah, just landed at our layover and waiting for the next flight.” you say to your mother over Facetime.

“That’s great honey, I’m so excited to see you.” she smiles at you and you return the gesture. 

“I missed you mom.” you say.

“And I missed you even more.” 

You two continue conversing amongst one another, as she filled you in on all things you missed while you were gone before a voice interrupts your conversation.

“Hey babe, here.” Juyeon says, handing you a coffee as he presses a small kiss to your forehead.

“Oh thank you.” you murmur with a small smile as your boyfriend sits down next to you.

“Oh hey miss y/l/n!” Juyeon greets seeing your mom’s face plastered on your screen.

“Juyeon!” she squeals excitedly. “I can’t wait to finally meet you in person instead of over video chat. It was about damn time.” she states and you and your boyfriend chuckle. You hand him your phone allowing them to talk with one another and you smile fondly at the newfound bond between Juyeon and your mother.

“I know, I can’t wait to meet all of you guys too! I know y/n’s been really excited, it was all she could talk about for the last three weeks.” he teases. “And she says you make really good pie so i am definitely looking forward to that.”

“That is such an understatement, I make the best pie.” she scoffs. “And I made one specifically for you.” your mother beams.

After a few minutes of playful banter exchanged, Juyeon hands your phone back to you. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom before we board, I’ll be back.” he excuses himself and you nod in acknowledgement. 

“Oh y/n, I just thought I should mention Seonghwa and his family are coming over for Christmas dinner as well.” your mom says and the sheer mention of his name as your heart beating in your chest.

“Oh he’s back in town too?” you ask casually and she nods.

“Yup, he’s also bringing his girlfriend.” she adds.

“That’s great, I’m really happy for him.” you say with a smile.

And you meant it, truly. 

You knew of his girlfriend from the few photos he posted of her on instagram, and he seemed genuinely happy. Aside from his newfound love, he was clearly enjoying his time in Seoul like you had hoped, and it was everything you wished for him. 

You two hadn’t really spoken over the last year, and it wasn’t really on purpose, you two just kind of drifted, as expected. You two were starting fresh in an unfamiliar place, and you both were finding your way around your new homes. You two were also preoccupied with school, and meeting new people so it was sort of inevitably really that you two grew apart. Of course there were the few times you two would chat, but it never lasted long due to time differences and busy schedules. 

Although you missed him immensely, you were beyond happy for the life he started for himself, and you knew he was happy for you too. He did exactly what he promised you the last night you spent together, and that was enough to make you happy.

“Flight 219 now boarding.” the announcer calls and Juyeon meets you right on time.

“Okay mom, that’s us. I’ll see you in a few hours, bye, love you.” you bid your farewell before hanging up, and Juyeon grabs your hand leading you to the gate.

“Ready to go home?” he smiles at you, and you beam excitedly, nodding your head.

As the days pass leading up to Christmas, you spend all of your of time with your family and friends, using every second to catch up with your loved ones. You find that Juyeon is adapting well to your home life, bonding with your father and making your mother love him even more than she already did. You introduce him to your childhood friends and he instantly wins over Mingi, Hongjoong, Yunho and Jennie. You admire how much of an effort he put into forming a friendship with them because he knew how much it meant to you.

You were thankful really, to find a guy who was almost perfect for you.

But still, in the back of your mind, even though you loved Juyeon beyond belief, you knew Seonghwa would always have that special place in your heart.

On the day of Christmas, you and Juyeon set the table as you await the Park’s arrival. You were slightly nervous, obviously, given the fact that you had not seen Seonghwa in over a year and you would be meeting his girlfriend. Although you were happy for him, you still felt anxious to see him and her, and you could only hope that she was good for him, because he deserved that much. 

Only a few moments later do you hear a knock at your door and your mother walks over to greet your longtime neighbours. Juyeon stands next to you as he wraps an arm around your waist comfortingly and you relax against him. 

You see Mrs. Park first as she walks inside, giving your mother a friendly hug. Mr. Park follows suit as he greets your mother and your father with a wide smile on his face.

And then you see him.

His hair is slightly darker and he does look a little older. But other than that his face is so familiar to you and your heart beats wildly in your chest as the two of you make eye contact. His face softens when he sees you and you deliver a small wave to him as he smiles. His girlfriend trails behind him and you take notice of how beautiful she was. You smile at her too and she returns the gesture and your heart kind of warms seeing how shy she is because you always kind of knew Seonghwa would pick someone similar to him.

“Oh my y/n, how long has it been!” Mrs. Park calls towards you and you hug her tightly. 

“I missed you!” you say to her and her arms wrap tighter around you.

“I missed you too, darling. And you look even more beautiful than the last time I saw you!” she compliments. “And who is this handsome man?”

“This is Juyeon, he’s my boyfriend.” you smile, and Juyeon shakes her hand.

“Nice to meet you, Mrs. Park. Y/n’s talked a lot about your family.” he says politely.

“Y/n’s picked a good one, I see.” she winks playfully as you notice Seonghwa and his girlfriend make their way towards you two.

“Hey y/n, long time no see.” Seonghwa says and you almost melt at the sound of his voice. He pulls you in for a hug and you notice how he still wears the same cologne that you had bought him all those years ago.

“Yeah, it’s good to see you again.” you smile at him, and although it had been well over a year since you two last saw each other, there was no hint of awkwardness, just nostalgia.

“Oh, this is Juyeon.” you introduce and Seonghwa delivers a warm smile to your boyfriend, shaking his hand respectfully.

“Nice to meet you.” Juyeon smiles.

“It’s nice to meet you too, I’m Seonghwa. Y/n’s... childhood friend.” he decides to say.

“I know she’s mentioned you a lot in her stories.” your boyfriend acknowledges. “From all the things she told me you were one of the people I was looking forward to meet the most. You seemed really great to her.”

“I could only hope so. She was my best friend after all.” Seonghwa glances at you, and you know there’s a deeper meaning behind his words. “And you seem like a really great guy, so I’m glad she has good people in her life.” Seonghwa returns and you find it heartwarming how well their exchange is going.

You look at the girl beside your ex and she’s staring at you with gentle, curious eyes. “Hi, I’m y/n.” you smile at her, extending your hand out for her to shake.

“Rosé,” she beams at you and you don’t even really know her but there was something about her that assured you she was good fit for Seonghwa. “I heard a lot about you as well, Hwa’s always talking about his life back home so I’m really glad I got to meet his best friend. You were really special to him.”

You smile softly. “I’m glad I got to meet you too.” you say.

“Okay, time for dinner everyone!” your father announces and you all take a seat at the table, passing over plates of food and catching up with one another.

“So Seonghwa, how’s Seoul treating you?” your mother asks as everyone turns their attention towards him.

“Uh really good actually,” he responds. “I joined a band actually! Uh, I became friends with these really nice guys. San and Yeosang. They basically recruited me after they found out I could sing and now we play at this local bar every week on Friday’s and Saturday’s. It was really good for me, I think. It helped with my stress and stuff. And that’s actually where I met Rosé.”

“That’s amazing.” your mother comments with a warm smile.

“Yeah he was really shy at first but San kind of forced him to talk to me which I was really thankful for because I was eyeing him for a while and was too shy myself to approach him.” Rosé says. “I still remember the night he asked for my number and he was stumbling over his words and I swear he looked like he was going to pass out.” she chuckles, and everyone at the table laughs along with her.

“Oh my god I know what you mean, he also cracks his fingers a lot and starts to turn really purple when he’s nervous.” you add and Rosé points at you nodding in agreement.

“Yes! I notice that all the time!” she laughs, and you can’t help but laugh with her.

“Trust me, I have the most embarrassing stories of him when we were kids.” you say.

“Oh god, you have to tell me all of them.” Rosé giggles.

“Obviously, we have the whole night for that.” you wink at her, and you realize how easy and natural it was to talk to her, and that confirmed that you indeed really liked her. 

Seonghwa watches the exchange between you both, and as you two make eye contact with each other, a small smile appears on his face as you nod at him, silently approving of the girl he chose to bring home for this special day. His heart grows full seeing how well the two of you got along, and he’s forever grateful at how amazing of a person you were that you were so willingly to form a friendship with his new girlfriend.

Although he loved Rosé dearly, there was still a piece of his heart where he’d always love you. And that piece grows a little more when he realizes how you continue to support him, even through this unconventional situation. 

Seonghwa decides he’s going to do the same for you, because just like you were happy for him, he was happy for you too. 

Of course he was glad you found someone who could put a smile on your face like he once did, and he knows that for you to have willingly dated Juyeon, he had to have been just as great as you were. You always had the best judgement of people.

“So Juyeon, how’d you and y/n meet?” Seonghwa asks genuinely and he notices the way his face lights up at the mention of your name.

“We had a lot of mutual friends and they introduced us. It’s funny actually, I could tell y/n didn’t even really like me that much at first, she was always so disinterested when I would try and talk to her.” Juyeon laughs.

“Probably stressing too much about trivial things.” Seonghwa chuckles.

“Yeah she does that a lot, so overly anxious all the time” Juyeon notes, and Seonghwa agrees. 

“Hey,” you interrupt and Juyeon apologizes.

“Sorry babe,” he chuckles. "but yeah, I finally sweet talked my way to get her to go out on a coffee date with me and then the next day she asked to go out for lunch after our lecture. We kind of just ended up hanging out more often and well, the rest is history I guess.”

“That’s great, I’m really glad she found someone that makes her happy.” Seonghwa smiles, and you feel a sense of gratitude towards him.

The rest of the night your families converse with one another and share a few drinks, as you and Seonghwa share old stories with Juyeon and Rosé. If you told yourself three years ago that you would be sitting by the fireplace on Christmas day with you and Seonghwa as exes exchanging stories with your new lovers, you would’ve never believed it. 

But you don’t think it’s a bad thing at all. In fact you’re immensely grateful that despite not being as close to Seonghwa anymore, you were able to see each other grow and adapt with your new lives. A life where you made new friends and made new memories. Where you tried things you’ve never tried before, and explored new places. And where you could love other people and still be so insanely happy for one another. 

This was a good thing.

At one point during the night the two of you find yourselves alone, a comfortable silence filling the room as you stared at the fire in front of you, basking in its warmth.

“I missed you.” Seonghwa is the first to break the silence.

“I missed you too.” you return. “And I’m really happy for you, you know?” 

“I’m really happy for you too, y/n.” Seonghwa smiles at you. “And I really like Juyeon. He seems really great, and he makes you happy, I can see it. That’s all I ever wanted for you.”

You hum in acknowledgement. “And I think Rosé is amazing. She’s perfect for you. And I’m forever grateful that you two have each other. I know we’ve drifted over the last year, but you’re still my best friend in the whole world. And even though I don’t say it often, or even out loud, I’m supporting you through everything. As long as it makes you happy that’s all I care about.”

His heart warms at your statement and he locks eyes with you. “And you know I’m always supporting you too. Seeing you happy and thriving is the best thing that’s ever happened to you. It’s all I want for you.” he states.

Neither of you have to say it, but you know this is your unspoken way of saying that you both still loved each other greatly. You still stood by the fact that Seonghwa was, and always would be the most important person in your life, and you in his. Seeing one another content and happy despite not having each other around anymore, was the one thing that mattered to you both. The maturity and support you continued to show was only because of the immense love you have, and have always had for one another. 

The kind of love that lets you give up the person you love the most so they can have a better life without you. 

And the kind of love that’s okay with it.

At twenty-one years old, you and Seonghwa meet again.

It’s during one of your breaks where you find yourself extremely homesick. You don’t even give your family a heads up until you’re outside your childhood home knocking at your door.

It was an impulsive decision but it’s not like you were currently in school. You had the time and the money, and you missed your hometown so incredibly bad that it only took you one second to make that decision to come back.

“Coming, one second!” you hear a male voice call behind the door and your eyebrows furrow in confusion.

“Well, that’s is definitely not my mom, or dad.” you say to yourself. “Did they move out without telling me or something-” your internal conversation is cut short as the door swings open and you’re greeted by an unexpected figure.

“Y/n?” the boy says in surprise.

“Seonghwa??” you say even more confused. 

“Who’s at the door Seonghwa?” now that’s your mother’s voice you hear and she gasps as she walks over to the door. “Y/n! Oh my god why didn’t you tell me you were coming back?!” she pulls you into her arms.

“Surprise.” you chuckle. “I kind of sort of felt really homesick and impulsively bought a plane ticket last night so I could fly back so... here I am.”

“Well come settle in! Seonghwa was just helping with some renovations in the house but I’ll let you two catch up.” your mother grabs your luggage, carrying it up to your bedroom. “Go grab a coffee or something!” she yells upstairs.

You look over to Seonghwa and he shrugs. “Let’s go then.” he smiles and your heart swells.

The two of you walk comfortably beside one another as you take in the scenery around you, missing the familiar place you once called home. 

“I didn’t know you were back in town too.” you say after a few moments of silence.

“Yeah, it was pretty impulsive too actually.” he admits as he looks at you. 

“What was your reason?” you ask curiously.

“Break up.” he states and your mouth falls open.

“Wait, you and Rosé...” 

He nods. “Yeah, things just kinda, fizzled out. You know, we grew apart, wanted different things, came to a point where we were in different stages in our life.”

“Oh wow.” is all you say. “I’m sorry to hear, she was really sweet. I really liked her.”

“Yeah, she was,” Seonghwa sighs. “I mean, we ended on good terms. We’re still friends, actually. I don’t even think I’m necessarily sad about it to be honest, it’s just different, you know? Like I know we weren’t even dating for that long, like two and a half years at most. But I just got so used to being around her and spending so much time with her, and then things just weren’t really the same after a while. It just felt odd not having someone. And being alone made me miss everything I had here so I came back.”

You nod your head in understanding. “Yeah, I totally get what you mean.”

Seonghwa raises his eyebrow at you. “You mean... you and Juyeon too?”

“Mhm,” you hum. “I think for us we just realized we were better off as friends than as a couple, you know? Like after a while the attraction kind of went away and we were only really together because it was comfortable. And we didn’t want to stay together if we weren’t in love anymore, it wouldn’t have made sense. The break up was easy and it felt right when we ended things, I kind of wish it happened sooner but, I was still thankful for the time we spent together. He is still one of my best friends so I’m grateful for that at least.”

“That’s good.” he smiles softly. 

“Hey at least we both can confidently say we have a track record of smooth break ups, right?” you joke lightheartedly.

“Thank god for that.” Seonghwa says with a laugh.

When you two enter the coffee shop you’re once again hit with a feeling of nostalgia as you think of all the times you, Seonghwa, and your friends would spend most days after school, drinking hot chocolate and eating pastries together as you all talked for hours and hours.

“I’ll get our usuals, you can wait by our spot.” Seonghwa offers, and you nod making your way towards your designated table. 

The moment you sit down you’re hit with a wave of flashbacks you shared in this very space, and a small smile creeps onto your face as you look back on all the old memories. 

After your brief moment of reminiscing, Seongwha sits across from you handing over your cup. 

“Sometimes you don’t realize how much you miss home until you’re actually back in all the places you grew up in,” you note as you take notice of the small engraving in the corner of the table marked with yours and all your friends’ initials. Your fingers ghost over the mark and when you look up at Seongwha you see that he’s also eyeing the engraving. 

“I remember when we put that there,” he recalls with a smile. “After five years of coming here and sitting at this same exact table with our friends we claimed our ownership by putting that stupid engraving that took us forever to do. As if that stopped people from sitting here anyways.” you both chuckled.

“Well at least Jennie and Hongjoong were brave enough to kick out the people who stole our spot.” you laugh.

“Yeah,” Seonghwa smiles fondly at the memory. “I still remember the days where Mingi and Yunho would bet the barista on how many butter croissants they could eat in one sitting so we could all get a supply of free hot chocolate for a year.”

“And it was only after Mingi threw up everywhere that it turned out all we had to do was ask her, and she would’ve done it anyways because we were regulars here.” you finish with a soft chuckle.

A comfortable silence fills the air as you two reminisce on the old memories of your teenage years.

“Can I ask you something?” Seonghwa says.

“Of course.”

“When you finish university,” he starts. “What are you gonna do afterwards? Like do you plan on living abroad permanently? Or are you gonna come back home?”

You pause for a second. “Honestly, after the first year there, I fell in love with the city. And I truly was planning on starting my life there and making that my permanent home, ‘cause I had Juyeon, and I had my new friends, I had jobs lined up for me after graduation, and just an overall great home.” you say. “But after splitting up with him, and sitting with the fact that I was constantly homesick, I kinda realized that this is my home, you know? Like, no matter how much I loved my new friends, and loved the city, it would never be as special to me as here. Nothing over there compared to everything I have here. And I knew you were gonna come back from Seoul after graduation, and Jennie and Yunho were gonna come back from New Zealand too. And Mingi and Hongjoong, and the rest of them were all still here... I didn’t want to be the only one gone. All my real friends are here, my family’s here... you’re here. I didn’t want to leave that all behind.” you exclaim and Seonghwa’s face softens.

“I’m really glad honestly.” he responds. “Because I missed you a lot. And it would’ve really sucked to know you weren’t gonna be here anymore when I moved back. I just really miss spending time with my best friend.”

Your heart skips a beat. “Well, you have the next two weeks to do that.” you smile up at him.

“I have an idea.” his eyes light up and you raise an eyebrow at him. “Do you wanna have a sleepover tonight? We can have a move night and order take out like the good old times.” he grins at you.

“You had me at sleepover.” you say with a smile and so he grabs your hand, pulling you towards the exit.

When Seonghwa lets you into his house you almost forget the fact that you haven’t been inside in almost three whole years. This was practically your second home and you found comfort in the fact that nothing really changed since you last saw it. Everything looked almost exactly how you remembered it, minus the new couch and dining table, and a few new paintings hung up on the walls.

“Your mom didn’t change much over the last few years.” you observe.

“Yeah, she was going to do a whole renovation like your mom, and she even planned a whole design out, but she opted out last minute. She said she wanted me to come back home to something I remembered.” Seonghwa answers. “I didn’t get why at first but it only started making sense to me the more I started visiting and realized this was like my safety net.”

“Yeah, that makes sense.” you say.

You and Seonghwa walk upstairs to his bedroom, and of course nothing changed inside either. It almost seemed like it had been untouched aside from the fresh bedsheets and clean floor. You notice the small picture frames neatly placed across his dresser table and you realize most of them are pictures with you. You pick one frame up as you remember the day so clearly. A faint smile forms on your face as your fingers ghost over the photo.

“I asked my mom to put those up again recently.” Seonghwa states from behind you. “I was gonna put more with our friends but I realized we didn’t take many with them. They were mostly just of us two. I hope you don’t think it’s weird.”

You shake your head. “No, of course not. I would never think it’s weird.” you say, placing the frame back onto his dresser.

Seonghwa tosses you one of his shirts and a pair of your old shorts that you always left at his house during your impromptu sleepovers. And suddenly you’re once again hit with a wave of nostalgia. 

“What do you wanna do?” he asks and you flop onto his bed with a deep exhale.

“Let’s just lay here for a second.” you say pulling him down next to you. “I just wanna remember everything that I missed while I was gone.” 

Seonghwa settles beside you and you can’t help your racing heart as he inches closer to you. As you lay next to one another looking up at the ceiling, your breathing relaxes and you revel in the feeling of just being so comfortable and at so at home. 

“You don’t know how much I missed this,” Seonghwa whispers next to you. “even though we haven’t seen each other in years and we don’t talk as much anymore, when I’m with you it’s like we never even left each other. Like we just pick up right where we left off. You’re the one person who’s always brought me comfort and I never feel like we have to force things with each other, no matter how much we drifted.”

You feel heat rise to your cheeks and suddenly the room feels so much warmer. Your heart beats fast and you realize how much of an effect Seonghwa still has on you after all these years.

“I think about you everyday, you know that?” you confess, turning your head to look at him. “Every time I’m out somewhere there will always be little things that remind me of you. And I think about all the places in the city I would take you, and the places I know you would love. I think about all the things you would tell me when I was feeling down, and how you would react to certain situations as if you were right there beside me the whole time. I miss you all the time.”

You both stare at one another and your eyes flicker back and forth to his lips and when you look into his own eyes you notice him doing the same. After a moment of just staring into each other’s eyes, unsure of what to do next, Seonghwa pulls you towards his face and kisses you, and the feeling absolutely overwhelms you in all the good ways.

It’s far from soft and sweet, instead heavy and messy, and so intense that your chest burns with desire. You don’t dare pull away from him even when you needed to catch your breath, because the feeling of his lips on yours after all these years intoxicates you and has you yearning for more. He’s pulling you closer to him and you feel like your body is on fire. 

Seonghwa rolls on top of you and your bodies mould perfectly with one another, as if you were both the two missing pieces of a puzzle. You can’t exactly describe the feeling but it’s overwhelming and very reminiscent and brings you back to all the times with Seonghwa that brought you so much happiness years ago. It’s a feeling you didn’t know if you would ever feel again and you missed it more than anything.

The ache between your legs becomes overwhelming and before you know it you’re begging him to touch you, and without any hesitation he does. Your bodies press tightly against each other and your desperate need for him only grows the moment he grinds down on you. 

The next thing you know, you’re both unclothed and fully exposed to one another, and you see each other in your most vulnerable states for the first time in years. When he finally pushes himself inside you the pleasure is significantly magnified as the fire inside you only intensifies at the feeling of him.

It happens quick at first but Seonghwa decides he wants to take his time with you. Like you, he didn’t know if he would ever feel you in this way again and he was going to use every second with you that he could.

You don’t know how much time has passed but by the end, you both are exhausted and sore, and panting heavily next to each other. It’s dark outside and the room is warm and even though you’re both sweaty and gross, you haven’t felt this good in a long, long time. 

“Was that okay?” Seonghwa asks, pulling your naked body into his arms.

“Yeah,” you say with a small smile. “It was perfect.”

So you lay in each other’s embrace for a while and your heart feels warm and fuzzy, bringing you an endless amount of comfort. You feel content at this very moment, and your worries are pushed to the back of your mind as you fall asleep soundly together.

It’s only at 2 o’clock in the morning do you wake up in a haze and through your fatigued confusion does your brain recall the events that took place a few hours ago. Unable to make out your surroundings in the darkness, your eyes widen not knowing if what happened earlier really happened. When you attempt to sit up you feel a pair of arms wrapped securely around your waist and your body relaxes. Soft snores escape Seonghwa’s lips and you snuggle closer to his body to feel his warmth.

It dawns on you that you still are very much in love with Seonghwa, and of course deep down you knew that you always would be. You also knew given the chance (like now) your feelings would resurface because well... they never really left in the first place.

The unknowingness of this outcome has you shifting in your spot and anxiety creeps in as you think of leaving him all over again. Because after tonight, you don’t know if you can bear the thought of parting ways with him and returning to your life abroad where you can’t tell him exactly how you feel.

You don’t realize right away that Seonghwa has woken up next to you and he only does so because of your constant shifting. It’s when he delivers a gentle squeeze to your waist do you finally take notice.

“Are you okay?” his voice his deep and tired and the sound is enough to make your heart beat fast.

“Yeah.” you reply unconvincingly, but Seonghwa has known you all his life and was also the one to date you for five whole years. He knew you better than you probably knew yourself so in an instant he could tell there was something bothering you.

“What’s on your mind?” he asks.

Your back is leaning against his chest, and you can feel his soft breathing on your neck, and instinctively he starts to rub small circles on your arm knowing that was the one thing that could calm you down.

“It’s stupid.” you say, your voice is quiet and laced with a hint of embarrassment.

“Do you regret what we did?” Seonghwa asks and you’re quick to shut down his claim.

“No! No, of course not.” you return. “It’s not that.”

“Then what is it?” 

You exhale, letting out a heavy sigh. “Seonghwa I still love you.” it’s almost inaudible to him but he knows he heard you correctly. 

He lets out a soft sigh and a smile smiles forms on his face.

“I still love you too, baby.” and when you hear him call you by the name you loved so much, you feel like you’re going to melt in his arms. “I always would remember?”

Your eyes start to water because it’s been so long since you’ve been able to say that to him, and to hear him say those same exact words back to you has a weight lifting right off your shoulders that you didn’t even know was there.

“Why’s that upsetting you?” he questions and you feel him press soft kisses to your shoulder.

“I don’t want to leave you all over again.” you admit. 

He sighs next you and attempts to pull you even closer, if that were possible.

“Well we’ll spend the rest of the time we have together and enjoy every second of it. And after graduation we’ll come back home and we’ll pick up right where we left off like we always do.” Seonghwa tries to reassure you and you shake your head, sniffling.

“That’s not what I mean...” you say. “I mean that I don’t want to go back and not be with you. I don’t want to wait out till graduation and know that we aren’t together because I don’t think I can. Not after tonight.”

It clicks in Seonghwa’s brain and he knows exactly what you mean, and so he decides now’s the time to ask you what he’s been wishing to ask you for so many years. He knows he wasn’t supposed to wait for you, but he always knew he would.

“You don’t have to then.” he states.

“I don’t?”

“Do you want to get back together?” he asks and your heart almost stops. “I mean we only broke up ‘cause of the distance right? And we both fulfilled our promises to each other that we would experience a different life and learn what it was like to not be together. We’re in our last year of uni, we’d only have to be apart for a few more months and then we’ll both be back home in no time, permanently. We would never have to be apart again.” he reasons with you.

And it did make complete sense. He was right in every way, so in truth, there really wasn’t anything stopping you from being together again. You don’t have to think much about it because the decision was already made deep down. You knew you wouldn’t hesitate to be with Seonghwa again if you had the chance, and now was that chance.

You turn to face him and even though you two can’t see each other, there’s a small smile painted on both your faces and you lean in to press a kiss to his lips. 

“Okay, let’s get back together.”

So at twenty-one years old, you and Seonghwa officially reconcile, and spend the next two weeks together like you planned, catching up on everything you did while you two were apart.

And just like he said, it was like you two never left each other.

And now, at twenty-two years old, Seonghwa pops the question.

And you finally marry him.

"Family, friends, and all loved ones. We are gathered here today to celebrate the union of Y/n and Seonghwa. We stand here to support this couple and share the joys of their love and commitment as they solidify this partnership, choosing to spend the rest of their lives together.” 

“Through this marriage you make a lifelong promise to one another to always love, respect, trust and honor each other through anything, and everything. You promise to stay committed, and loyal, and most importantly, share your dreams, your happiness, and your sorrows with each other.” 

“From today, and this moment on, you will forever be united as one.”

You stare at Seonghwa and your heart beats hard against your chest as you stand in front of him watching his eyes light up and his smile grow by the second. You feel like you’re in a dream and everything around you feels so surreal.

Your eyes scan the alter and you see your mother beside Mrs. Park, both of them clinging onto each other as tears of happiness running down their cheeks. Their smile is wide and filled with so much love and you knew this day was something the two have been waiting for, for as long as they could remember. 

You see Mingi, and Yunho, and Hongjoong, and Jennie, your best friends who witnessed every progression of your relationship with Seonghwa from the moment you two met. They’re all grinning from ear to ear and you can’t help but laugh as they silently cheer you on from the pews.

You see your dad, and Seonghwa’s dad, and both of your grandparents, and the entirety of yours and Seonghwa’s family joined together as they smile brightly at the two of you.

And then your eyes meet with Rosé and Juyeon as they mouth a “you got this!” to you and Seonghwa, delivering a thumbs up in your direction, and your heart kind of warms because even after splitting up, the friendship between you four remained and it was evident through their support on this special day.

When your eyes lock with your soon-to-be-husband his lips quirk up into a warm smile as you mouth out an “i love you.”

“Now Y/n, Seonghwa, please join hands” the officiant states.

"Do you, Park Seonghwa take Y/N Y/L/N to be your wife?” 

“I do.” he states softly, eyes gazing into yours.

"And Y/N Y/L/N, do you take Park Seonghwa to be your husband?”

“I do.” you respond beaming.

"Seonghwa, please repeat after me.” the officiant says. “I, Park Seonghwa, take thee, Y/N Y/L/N, to be my lawfully wedded wife.” 

“I Park Seonghwa, take thee, Y/n Y/l/n, to be my lawfully wife...” he repeats.

"...To have and to hold from this day forward...”

“...For better for worse...”

 “For richer for poorer...”

“...In sickness and in health...”

“...To love and to cherish...”

“...And to honour you all the days of my life...”

“Till death do us apart.” Seonghwa finishes and your eyes start to water.

“Now, Y/n, please repeat after me.” the officiant calls on you. “I, Y/N Y/LN, take thee, Park Seonghwa, to be my lawfully wedded husband.”

You exhale before repeating his words. ““I, Y/N Y/LN, take thee, Park Seonghwa, to be my lawfully wedded husband.”

"...To have and to hold from this day forward...”

“...For better for worse...”

“For richer for poorer...”

“...In sickness and in health...”

“...To love and to cherish...”

“...And to honour you all the days of my life...”

“Till death do us apart.”

As Jennie walks over to hand over the rings she smiles brightly at you, as the crowd watches you and Seonghwa each place the new band on your fingers, signifying the start of your lifelong commitment to one another. 

“Well! By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife!” the officiant shouts with a smile. “You may now kiss the bride!”

And without a second wasted Seonghwa pulls you in kissing you like he’s never kissed you before and the loud shouts and cheers in the background fills your ears as everyone hollers around you. And when you pull away you can’t seem to wipe the smile off your face as Seonghwa carries you out of the alter.

“Here’s to our new life together, Mrs. Park.” Seonghwa says with a grin as you kiss him once more.

“I love you so much.” you say.

“And I love you even more.” he returns.

So at twenty-two years old you know that you’re never going to stop loving Seonghwa, and that love was made permanent by the unity of your marriage. From the moment you declared him as your boyfriend at the age of six, to the years you spent learning everything together as a couple, growing apart and reuniting, you know that this was a rare kind of love to find, and one that had to mature and progress over a long period of time. 

And so you remember the words you said to him all those years ago the night you parted ways, “if somehow we find our way back to one another, then just know everything we did up to that point was worth it.”

Which stayed true four and a half years later, and for the rest of your life thereafter.

LA FIN.

[ptergwen]

last christmas | pt. 2

❆ series masterlist ❆

w/c: 2.5k

warnings: one suggestive joke and a couple of angsty moments

a/n: yo i forgot that harry was actually in this movie as an extra? that’s kinda funny to me but anyways pls send requests (ik it’s annoying i keep asking i’m just so bored y’all help) and enjoyyy

━━━ *:･。.

today feels better than most days. the throbbing headache you usually wake up with isn’t there. plus, you have your date with tom later. it still feels surreal to say that. it still feels surreal he’s your friend’s brother, and you only found out three days ago.

you throw on some sweats and head into the living room. your roommate alex is in front of the tv with a bowl of cereal. she puts it down, the spoon making an obnoxiously loud clink. you’re sensitive to sound, so you unintentionally wince.

“sorry, y/n/n. i thought you had the day off, no?” she asks, lowering the tv for your sake. you smile at the gesture and go to grab your coat. “i do. i just wanna get breakfast.” “we have stuff here,” alex reminds you and picks up her cereal for emphasis. she’s careful not to drop the spoon this time. laughing to yourself, you shrug into your coat.

“i’ll pass. i wanted to say hi to harry, anyway.” “right, tonight’s the night.” she turns her head towards you and smirks. “you’re shagging his brother.” your eyes go comically wide. “no i’m not! he’s taking me out somewhere,” you defend and button up your coat as fast as you can. it’s time to get out of here.

“i’ll make plans just in case,” alex calls out as you shuffle to the door. “yeah, bye!” you shout back. you planned on asking if she wanted anything, but you were too distracted. oh well.

━ ❆

the café isn’t too crowded when you get there. harry is on register, so he’s probably in a good mood. he eyes you curiously when you step up. you give him a big smile.

“you’re not in today,” he says quietly, pushing up the santa hat he’s wearing. you stifle a laugh. you’re all supposed to dress up festively, but you don’t. your manager made an exception. one of your co workers is watching harry, so he fixes the hat. it’s not done without a long exhale.

“i’m here for coffee,” you explain and glance up at the menu. harry squints at you. “you couldn’t have gone anywhere else?” feigning offense, you put your hand on your chest. “why, you don’t want to see me?” “when you’re supposed to be home resting, no.” he taps a button on the register. “what can i get you?”

“first of all, i have a date later. that won’t be happening,” you tell him smugly. he would try to act annoyed, but he’s honestly happy for you. tom, too. “can i have an iced coffee with liquid sweetener? please?” harry raises an eyebrow. “room for milk?” “sure,” you almost chirp. he can’t help but grin.

“i haven’t seen you this happy the whole time i’ve known you,” he mumbles while punching in your order. your smile fades into a concerned grimace. “is that okay, do you think?” harry looks up at you again. “why wouldn’t it be?” “because, i mean, it’s only one date. it could end up going no where.”

you lean over the counter so you can talk quieter. “what would i be happy about then?” “excuse me?” a woman interrupts your conversation louder than necessary. you’re trying to search harry’s face for an answer, but he doesn’t give you one. “one second, sorry,” he apologizes to the customer. you stand up right again.

“tom wouldn’t do all this if he didn’t feel something,” harry nearly whispers while you get out your money. you read your total befofe he could tell you. you let your hand linger in his when you hand him the cash. “you’ll have more than one night of happiness. you deserve it.”

you’re starting to get a bit emotional, so you pull your hand back. you nod and manage a small smile. “thank you, harry. really.” “you’ll let me know how it goes?” he checks. “tomorrow, yeah. have a good shift.” you give him a finger wave and go off to get your coffee. he waves back.

━ ❆

tom gets a text from harry a few minutes after you leave.

y/n is really special. don’t be a div tonight.

he scoffs at his phone and shuts it off. your smile pops into his mind then. he only got to see it once, but he can’t seem to forget it.

harry is right. you are really special, and he better not mess this up.

━ ❆

you and tom decided on eight for your date. he’s meeting you outside your place because wherever you’re going is in walking distance. you bundle up accordingly in your fluffiest jacket and some earmuffs. you’ve never worn them before, but they’ll be your best friend tonight. they’re also cute. this is the time to be cute.

tom buzzes to let you know he’s there at eight sharp. his punctuality is kind of a surprise. you don’t know much about the real him, but this is rare from what you’ve gathered. you tell him you’re coming and hop out the door.

the thing alex said earlier does cross your mind, and she did leave you the apartment. never mind all of that. you try to think of anything but that before you get outside.

“hey,” tom greets as you walk down the stairs. he grins playfully at your attire. “you look cozy.” “you don’t.” he’s wearing a thin black jacket with a flannel underneath. it’s not ideal for the middle of winter in london. a smug smile pulls at your lips.

“you’re gonna walk in that?” you gesture to his outfit, moving so you’re next to him. he hums. “i’ll let you tease me for it the whole way there.” the two of you start walking side by side. it doesn’t take long for you to fall into step. “the whole way? how far is it?” you raise an eyebrow.

“twenty minutes maybe? it can’t be too bad. we have loads to talk about,” tom says rather suggestively. you look over and he’s smirking. there’s never a dull moment with this man. that’s actually just what you need right now. “true. you start,” you prompt him, your arm brushing against his. “tell me all about you.” he leans closer to you instinctively.

“well, i’m an actor. obviously,” tom shrugs like it’s no big deal, making you laugh quietly. he really likes your laugh. “besides that. like, what do you do when you’re not acting?” you ask, eyes fixed on him. he’s so pretty under the streetlights. all the time, really. “this is so boring, but i love golf. i’m rubbish, though,” he says the second part under his breath.

“and i thought you were good at everything,” you tease, tom faking a frown. “no, but seriously. it’s probably nice to do some regular stuff when you can.” he exhales in a way that seems reflective. “exactly, i like having some separation. what about you?” “what do i do when i’m not acting?” you ask sarcastically. “sure,” he plays along.

you think about it while you turn the corner. tom watches you intently, like you’re about to say something actually interesting. you’re not. “not much anymore.” he’s about to ask what you mean by anymore, but you keep going. “i took a gap year from uni, so i’ve been getting that sorted,” you continue, looking up at the dark sky. this isn’t your favorite discussion.

“makes sense. what are you studying?” also not your favorite discussion. “i’m undecided. i was thinking about psychology, but...” you search for something, anything you can to change the subject. the first thing you see is the first thing you mention. “your ears are bright red right now,” you giggle and point at one. tom presses his hands to them, feeling how cold they are.

“damn, you’re right,” he gives in to your conversation from earlier. without thinking about it, you pull your earmuffs off. you put them around his head instead. they’re pink with white snowflakes on them. tom looks cuter with them than you do, you think. “here. these should make them a normal color.”

“aw, but i don’t want you to be cold,” he protests and goes to take them off. you grab his hand before he can. “i’m not.” grinning, he properly takes your hand in his. your fingers lace together like you’ve held hands a million times. he lets them drop between you two and keeps leading the way to your mystery spot.

you swing your hands back and forth, smiling when you feel his grip tighten. tom pats one of the earmuffs. “i think we’ll both be warm once we get there.” “where exactly is ‘there’?” you laugh out. it was supposed to be a surprise, but you have to know. he points at something straight ahead. you’re still too far to see it.

“yeah, i can’t tell what that is,” you confirm. his reply is a satisfied hum. “good. let me keep you in suspense for at least five more minutes.” “you’re cheeky, aren’t you?” he chuckles and swings your hands again. “i’ve been told.”

you two finally end up at a hot chocolate stand. there are white lights strung in the trees surrounding it, music playing quietly into the night. the atmosphere welcomes and comforts you as soon as you get on line.

“i figured it would be nice to get one of these rather than making them for a change,” tom fills you in. he seems unsure of it now that you’re here, his voice lower than before. harry’s text is replaying in his head. he wants this to be good enough, more than good enough. should he have planned something more? his nerves die down when you squeeze his hand in yours.

this is the perfect low pressure date you’d hoped for. the focus is on each other and not some fancy meal. you were right about the movies not changing tom. “this place is really cute. i like it.” you move up on line together. “and my hot chocolates kind of suck, so yeah. it is.” “no, i bet they’re delicious,” he reassures you with one of his famous eye crinkling grins.

you chat more about your barista skills and all the kitchen disasters harry has had to save you from. the story of the time you made foam explode all over the countertops has him giggling. his laugh is contagious, so you end up joining in. your laughter eventually quiets because it’s your turn to order.

“hi, we’ll have two large hot chocolates?” tom orders for you two. you shoot him a curious look. “large? i’ll never finish.” the sizes here are huge, which is part of their gimmick. it’s also why tom found it interesting. the joke is that the stand itself is small, but they have gigantic drinks.

“leftovers, then.” he winks at you. you’re disappointed you have to let his hand go while he pays. the cashier says your drinks will be ready shortly. tom thanks him and turns back to you. “you probably got in so much trouble, huh?” he asks about your work horror story. you look him over for a few seconds.

you’re shocked how genuinely interested he is in everything you tell him. there are much cooler things he could be talking about, but he wants to hear from you. it makes you feel like there’s something between you two already. like, you’re old friends or soulmates or anything bigger than two strangers on a first date.

even though it’s still early to tell, you definitely have a connection of some kind.

“nope. i’m better at cleaning than i am at making cappuccinos,” you remark, the cashier coming back with two large hot chocolates. tom hands you yours first. he takes his after. “thank you so much,” he tells the man again. “have a nice night,” you add. the two of you take your drinks to a small table under a tree.

you sit across from each other, tom setting the earmuffs down. he pushes them back to you with a smile playing on his lips. “i like those better on you,” you murmur before taking a sip of hot chocolate. “pink’s my color,” he agrees and does the same. it’s so good that you decide to have some more, even though there’s steam coming from the lid.

“maybe i will finish all of this.” “i knew you’d like it.” tom laughs behind his cup. he got all worked up about it for nothing. you’re having one of your best nights in a while, which almost makes you not want to bring up the next topic. it’s sadly inevitable, so you might as well get it out of the way. christmas.

“so, do you have any plans for christmas?” you start, downing another sip. tom puts his drink down and leans back in the chair. “i’m staying over my mum and dad’s. we’ll have our traditional holland celebration.” he smiles to himself just thinking about it. you’re happy he has something to look forward to. you don’t.

“are you doing anything?” there’s the big question. people usually get awkward when you go into detail, which is exactly why you won’t. “actually, no.” his excitement changes to confusion. he furrows his eyebrows and sits up again. “you don’t celebrate?” “i do, just not anymore. not this year, at least.”

tom is extremely curious what this ‘anymore’ is about. it’s the second time you’ve mentioned it.

“i used to love it. my christmas spirit ran out, i guess,” you eleborate, eyes shifting down to the frozen grass. tom almost frowns. it’s not because he pities you. no one likes that. christmas is one of, if not, his favorite times of year. he just wishes the whole world could be happy this holiday season. the lovely girl sitting in front of him, especially.

there has to be something he can do.

“no, you can always get it back,” he says softly, searching for your eyes. “i’ll help you.” you look up at him again and blink back the tears you feel coming. tom must feel so lost right now. he wouldn’t be with context. you’re going to tell him what happened when you’re ready because you do want him to understand. trusting him feels like an instinct.

“how?” your voice comes out even quieter than his. you pick up your drink to distract yourself. “let’s see,” tom thinks aloud. he snaps when he gets an idea. “have you done any decorating?” “my roommate put up a tree. she never did the ornaments, though.” he gasps over dramatically, earning a laugh from you.

“you can’t leave a naked tree sitting around.” “i told her it looked stupid,” you sigh and sip your hot chocolate. tom holds out a hand for you. “we should go to the shops”

it would be easy to say no. it would be easy to go back home and hide under your covers and avoid the missed calls from your family. the catch is, easy isn’t progress. you can’t move past this unless you work to get it done.

you take tom’s hand and stand up from the table.

“we should also get a ride this time.”

[fr3aklike-me]

omg, i do that too it’s literally so helpful !! it puts things into perspective so well. and yes it’s so nice, i never feel like i have to say something about it but also it feels like i can say something too. IT WAS SO COOL i love that, and everyone else pretty much does that too and it’s so nice, all of my coworkers wear their pride shirts too even the straight ones. yes yes yes i don’t like the overcompensating, it feels fake (even though like you said it’s usually meant well) and it’s almost like WAY too much attention on it. it does feel dividing !! like we are all people too ! i know, they’re so sweet, they’re also paving the way for me being the first queers in the family. my grandparents on that side are extremely religious and it didn’t go well for a while, but now they’re accepting. my cousin (my aunts daughter) also had a girlfriend for a while so that makes them think it runs in the family so i hope it’ll just be normal one day. but awww i love that hahaha !! i know right, growing up and kind of being unaware that anything was going on in the world with it makes it so much crazier now to see that everything was a lot more recent than I thought. awwww that’s still such a good subtle way to hint at it though i love it. YES if you’re addressing one by name the other one is the wife hahahah it’s truly very simple ! i know, i really hate it. i’ve definitely had little crushes on men here and there but it’s never the butterflies and the daydreaming and aggressive urge to kiss them like it is for non-men. it’s almost like i still settle for a man that’s my friend, even though what i’m probably feeling is a desire to continue being close friends yknow ? awwwwh that’s literally all i want , you’re so sweet and i want you to always feel cared for. you really really deserve it <3 i hope this isn’t weird to say but yk how before people kiss sometimes they’ll put their foreheads together and look into eachothers eyes and just be close ? okay you make me feel like that, i feel like i could trust you like that. and i really really appreciate that because i don’t feel that way often and it just makes me so happy (and also wish we could actually do it LOL)

yeah he’s super cool !! awww what are your grandparents like ? HAHA omg that’s so funny, but yeah it’s just part of the journey hahaha. yessss it feels so good after ! oh that’s such a good feeling too, im so happy you were able to do that ! okay wait that made me think of another way to say whatever the fuck i was trying to say in the last paragraph bc ik it doesn’t make the most sense. i feel like i could cry in front of you, i don’t cry in front of people but that’s your skill of -loving, caring soul- hehe but i also just like to journal about my days or make lists and schedules for the next day if it’s gonna be really busy, rants, exciting things, just things like that !! i wanna do cooler journaling like how people put art or little clips from their days (concert tickets or stuff like that) ! i’ve done a couple things like that too, like i did a page of meaningful texts i got and seeing the beauty in life. i used to be really depressed but after i wasn’t anymore, it was easier to see the little things and it was the first time in a while i noticed small gestures of people !! what about you ?

yeah as a kid to say those things it’s really concerning but i just really want something to come of that case soon. it’s been way too long. omg the bermuda triangle has always confused me so much, i get so afraid when i have to fly out of the US because the plane often goes right over it. hahahha that was a funny episode, i loved that show !! i think it’s more ships, but it’s still crazy. on that note, have you ever heard of the Malaysia Airlines flight 370? it disappeared in 2014 and oh my god, it’s had me in a chokehold since i saw it on tv that day.

yeah, I really like the small town vibe and how close everyone is, it’s super cool for them to go anywhere and be known. like it still shocks me when I go to a restaurant and they know my name yknow ? oh my god yes, it was crazy how she couldn’t see it. literally Logan, Logan called her out and that’s the funniest part. he had been living that way his whole life and he could still see it. it’s almost like she became entitled to it and she completely changed. i know, it was explicitly white privilege too and honestly they all could’ve afforded to travel and learn about different cultures but they decided to spend it on galas or whatever tf. i really hope that we as a society can move past racist jokes like it’s not even funny. okay, Scientology is basically a cult for really rich people, they make you go through courses and each course costs a shit load of money and they change the courses a lot so you have to retake them, you can’t leave the cult once you’re in it otherwise they will sue you for millions and millions of dollars and it’s just a bunch of stuff like that. it’s super harmful and you have to be basically perfect all the time. a lot of people end up selling their assets too just to pay for Scientology and it’s really sad. omg, what’s the video that sounds super interesting !!

awww you’re so sweet omg. it does feel like that sometimes still, i still get asked “when are you getting a boyfriend” except my dad just asks when i’m gonna be dating, i think he knows lol. awww omg, yeah i’m really happy i came to accept it too, it’s so much better this way hahaha i don’t feel like i’m constantly doing something wrong for not having a crush on a man. proud of me ?💗😭🥺

awww that sounds so tough, especially with your mom being secretly supportive but that rly sucks having to be so secretive about yourself like that. does you mom maybe know how your dad feels ? (but also i remember my friends mom who used to be muslim still had that don’t ask don’t tell thing, she married a man just for show and had a “girlfriend” that moved kinda far away and she would go there, she told us she’d sleep with her but it didn’t mean she liked her, but one day she almost cried talking about her it was SO SAD) so it’s really unfortunate that growing up with that attitude around you and never accepting yourself can be a forever thing :( but yeah that makes sense, around family for sure but does she support you now ? even like secretly ? do you think you might ever tell you dad ?

but aww have a great day too, sorry it took so long to respond !! and happy ramadan (im sorry i don’t know if that’s the right term ahh)

-💟

omg right! writing things out and seeing them physically outlined, rather than just kind of whirling in your brain, brings such an acute kind of awareness about what's going on. and I love that your work environment is so comfortable and friendly that you feel at total ease with whatever you want to do, love that for you. and omg them wearing the pride shirts is actually just so sweet. that kind of explicit support from a group of people is just so heartwarming and welcoming. yes, yes, "paving the way" is exactly what it is. honestly, it's just so admirable to see relatives from years ago who were the first ones to come out and be open about their queerness - because, yeah, they didn't have any relatives to lean on in terms of also being queer, so they truly paved the way for us. I even have a few relatives who are out, some more public than others, and just knowing that they had the courage to be some of the first ones to do that almost makes me wanna tear up in gratitude for how strong they were, and how it gives us such support in our generation. I definitely understand the whole thing about other relatives being religious, but I'm so happy your grandparents on that side are more accepting now! it can definitely be a process sometimes, but it's always great to see people becoming more open and welcoming. OOOF the whole "it runs in the family" thing people will say gets on my nerves so much - like, if there are two heterosexual parents, and they have a heterosexual kid, no one would ever say that, so why is it being said for queer relatives? it really just needs to be more normalized. oooh, I see - yeah, like, having a platonic relationship with a guy, and the desire to be their friend sometimes gets perceived as a desire to be romantic. I feel like so much of it is how heteronormative society is in which we feel like if we have guy friends, we have to like them at some point instead of only being platonic. even my friend and me were talking about it yesterday - not this exactly, but how the media and films/shows don't give nearly as much appreciation to platonic relationships as romantic ones, even though they are so important. and omg... I literally had to put my phone down and just smile when I saw that last bit. okay, I also just reread it and am smiling again omg. it's not weird at all. I actually am so touched you actually expressed that feeling to me so honestly, I'm actually feeling extremely honoured rn. like lkdjfkfj I'm actually combusting rn - I am so, so fucking happy you feel that trusting towards me. and I am literally gushing rn bc forehead touches are my literal weakness. I also now feel so comforted by all your responses and your company. you're so sweet and attentive, and I just feel so comfortable and warm when I see you've sent a message. trust me, I wish I could put my forehead against yours and stroke your cheeks dkfkfjjd

oooh, so my grandparents - I am much closer to my mom's parents. and my grandfather on that side is super goofy in the best way, he loves calling me by this nickname and will try to dance in the living room when we visit. and my grandmother is literally one of the kindest souls in this world. she is so caring, gentle and understanding, and is so thoughtful and motherly - literally everyone loves her. dfjkdfj omg I am actually tearing up rn thinking of her ahhh. really should call her soon. and she's very sensitive, which I relate to, and just - ugh, I love them. and omg, what you said in the last paragraph - I definitely understood what you meant, and am still feeling so moved by it rn, especially bc it's so intimate and trusting. and omg, like 🥺 it actually is making my heart swell up rn that you feel that comfortable and trusting with me. like, I am actually so touched that you feel that trusting with me. thank you. it seriously means the world to me that you'd feel trusting enough to be so vulnerable with me, means the world to me.

omg, I love that! I feel like journalling is the best that way, when it's totally freeform and you write whatever you're in the mood for that day. it totally takes the pressure off. omg, if you're comfortable telling me, what kind of things do you like to rant about in your journal? things like shows, movies, music? or like, things on your mind? omg you definitely should try the art and ticket pasting! it's so nostalgic and beautiful to look back on. whoa, and the meaningful texts pages sound so fucking cool omg, I love that you did that. and I'm sorry to hear you struggled with that in the past. and I'm so happy that you find yourself being able to notice the beauty in little things now too. <3 and for me, I also journal sometimes with prompts or guided questions, and other days rants, and some days just a single sentence about my day. I'm also working on a scrapbook rn for the year 2021 and also want to do the thing where I paste on art, text and tickets onto pages, hehe.

omg, honestly, I'd be a bit scared too. I need to read more on it though, because I don't know much about it all and I think it sounds so interesting to learn about. AYEEE YOU WATCH "SUITE LIFE"? I love both of the shows, they were my absolute childhood omg omg. and I haven't heard about the Malaysia airlines! was it a flight that had vanished? things like that really gnaw at my head, it's totally understandable you felt so invested bc there are so many unanswered questions with cases like that

your town is like that? that is so fucking cute and sweet, how the people at the restaurant know your name. is your area pretty close-knitted, like is everyone pretty familiar and knowing of each other? LMAO RIGHT I LOVED LOGAN IN THAT MOMENT. bc he straight up told her, she is just as privileged and worse is that she denies it. and, for sure, there's definitely lots of white privilege in it. like, a complete disregard for other cultures, foods, traditions, etc. there's one episode where Lane's mom wants her to wear a traditional Korean dress, and everyone is, like, disgusted by it and that made me so mad. like, they only were revolted by it bc it didn't look like a Western wedding dress, I thought it was so beautiful. and it just sends such a bad message about traditional wear to POC who watch it. exactly, and what'd you think of the revival? it went even worse omg. damnnnn, wtf, my mouth just opened in surprise. Scientology just sounds so extensive and overbearing, like all of the courses, and the attempts to make members perfect, then being unable to leave?? it's so scary wtf, and really eery how they're trying to make them all "perfect." and here is the video! although, warning, it does depict violent scenes in the film, forced marriage, and literally opens with a brutal and violent shot.

oooh, I see, kind of people still expecting you to date a guy. and omg, I'm so glad to hear your dad frames it in a way more gender neutral way! and I love that for you, it's so freeing to just totally relish in your queerness without feeling like you're doing something wrong. and omg, of course I'm proud of you <3 it takes so much effort and strength to get to place of acceptance, and the fact that you have worked to become more proud and comfortable with who you like is something worth celebrating, it's amazing

for sure - like, my mom is supportive, like, where she works. but, then, if there's a chance one of her kids will be out and proud, and potentially face getting cut off by relatives, then I think she gets much more scared and encourages secrecy to avoid that. so, my parents are divorced now, so bc of that, it's a bit harder for her to know at this point how he feels. and that story - yes, exactly, that happens so, so much in the community - a queer person entering a marriage with someone they don't love, and it's just so fucking sad because they're in a relationship, sometimes for so many years, that they feel no genuine romantic love for. yeah, it's actually extremely sad, bc then, some people spend their lives never having that acceptance. she does support me more now, and a few months ago, promised she'd back me up on if I came out publicly to my family, but she still shows hesitation pretty often, so I think she goes back and forth. and it's out of fear, yeah, but it's like, I'm not doing anything wrong, so I should be the one she's supporting, you know? and I definitely do want to tell my dad, but it might be later in the future, like if I move out or get a partner - might happen before, but I'm waiting for a good chance.

omg it's totally okay! and "Ramadan Mubarak" and "happy Ramadan" both work, thank you so much! it's well... it's going LMAO I'm excited for the fast to be done in, like, ten minutes. how was your day?

also, just know that when I write you messages back, I am carrying the energy of someone in the Victorian era writing out a letter and spritzing my perfume on it before sending it with a dove.

[friendlylocalwhumper]

this drabble is set in the time when lux and emory were still getting to know each other.

the bookshop (lux and emory meet) | flirting over text

“Woah!” Cries Emory, tugging on Lux’s sleeve. He stares at the two scars that he caught a glimpse of when the fabric rolled up.

They were holding hands, and Lux forgot to be careful. Emory’s hand has slipped up to wrap around Lux’s wrist and hold his arm out. It’s not a harsh grip, but the warlock is tense like he’s about to get yanked close and yelled at.

“What’re those from? That’s a gnarly scar.” He touches, actually lifts a finger and touches one of the scars, prods at it. Lux wants out of his own skin.

“I…” Emory’s looking. Staring. He’s going to push that sleeve up further, see more scars, get suspicious. He’s going to touch and ask too many questions. “I, i-its…”

Those brown eyes meet his, the pad of his thumb still resting on top of raised scar tissue. There’s a slight movement, a crease between his brows - curiosity now tinged with confusion. Lux continues to fail to make words.

“It’s, th-they’re…” Maybe he sounds like he’s just caught off guard, his brain lagging. Maybe it’s not obvious that he wants to bolt.

Or maybe it is, and that grip on his wrist is going to cinch tighter. Lux has seen the turn, the moment that someone finds a reason to be cruel and goes absolutely wild with the freedom of it.

He doesn’t want to lie. Can’t lie, even. He’s been asked about his scars before, under raised fists, with a gun held to him, tied up and watched for a reaction. As soon as more than one of his scars is seen, it’s obvious that they weren’t caused by accident. Lying is pointless.

“Hey.”

Lux flinches. His lungs won’t work, but he doesn’t think he’s making it obvious until he glances up at Emory to see pure concern written across his face.

“What’s wrong?”

If he could, if he had any reason to think it wouldn’t get him pulled closer, Lux would tug to get his wrist out of Emory’s hold. His arm is shaking a little. “I, I -” A shake of the head. He barely knows Emory. He can’t ask to be let go. He doesn’t know what Emory would do, what he’s capable of. “I don’t, I can’t - think wh-, when s-someone’s holding my wrist li-ike that.”

With a tilt of his head, Emory lets go of him, watching with a frown as Lux pulls his arm close and ducks his head, breaths jagged and hushed. “You can’t think when someone holds your wrist?”

It sounds weird when it’s put like that. He must be mocking Lux, there’s no way that someone could just not understand what this is like. “Wh-, when someone grabs me. And, my arm, you seeing it, that was - a lot, for me. I just - I need a break.”

“...Okay.” He clearly doesn’t understand, but Emory backs off to let Lux catch his breath. “Uh… I’m sorry I grabbed you. I didn’t know it was a sensitive thing.”

Lux groans in frustration. He knew it was stupid to get involved with someone. There was no way the excitement of it, the fun, would last. People always want to touch sooner or later, to get very close and see under clothes and get to know everything. And now he’s flinched, now he’s stuttered. It won’t be fun anymore. He’s broken, this cute guy will see that now.

One of his more pitchy wheezes is what makes Lux realize he’s not going to be able to play this off as a fluke. He’s panicking. Emory touches his arm, tries to get his attention, but Lux almost doesn’t feel the contact. His hearing is foggy, his heart pounding in his ears. Emory wants to touch and he’s seen Lux’s scars and now that he knows Lux isn’t normal, now that he knows Lux is broken, he doesn’t have to be gentle anymore. He can mock, he can say things and grab and laugh at Lux for being afraid. Why can’t he stop the spiral of thoughts that’s sending him barrelling head-first into a panic attack?

Hands are on his shoulders. Lux trembles like concrete is setting around his lungs and his whole body is fighting to just keep functioning.

“S-sorry, sorry, sorry I, I, ‘m sorry I can’t, I, j-just please, I can ca-, ca-, calm d-down, hhnnn…” He can’t calm down, he can’t. He’s in Emory’s house, under Emory’s hands, being watched as he chokes on his words and forgets how to breathe. Under his sleeves, his scars itch, and under his shirt his chest burns. His head is spinning.

All the awkwardness has left Emory. “Woah, hey, Lux. It’s okay. Stop talking, okay? Just breathe.” Warm hands hold Lux’s shoulders still, sliding up and down. A shuddering, lurching breath tears out of Lux at the guiding words. No more stammering. Emory watches. It feels… odd, to be watched by someone worried, instead of someone who made him panic on purpose.

“I don’t really know that much about, like, anxiety attacks…” Emory starts to speak as he waits for Lux to regain control of himself. “But I don’t mind waiting. You just gotta breathe. It’s gotta be hard, but you can do it. I mean, nothing’s happening. Nothing’s gonna happen. Got all the time in the world.”

Lux huffs and ducks his head. “A-all the, the time in th-the wo-orld?”

“Yeah. I’m not going anywhere. You don’t gotta worry about it, if you want the room to yourself, if it’ll take a while. I can leave you alone, go-”

“N-no!” Cries Lux, eager to earn more of this rare sympathy, to keep Emory close - and without even thinking, he leans forward, presses himself into Emory and gasps against his shirt. “I, I, please don’t go. I just, ‘m, ‘m freakin’ out, it’ll pass, I swear.”

There’s relative quiet for a moment, hitching gasps taking up the space around them. Then there’s slight pressure at his back; Lux hums in confusion as he registers Emory’s hand there, starting to rub circles over his shirt.

“You’re fine, Curls,” He says, and Lux relaxes once it sinks in that Emory wants him to feel safe. The nickname makes it feel like they know each other, like Emory’s fond of him. Like it’s okay to be hyperventilating against his chest. “I’m not going anywhere. Take your time.”

[sergeant-donny-donowitz]

Cliff’s Kid

Trigger Warnings: Homophobia

OC character: Diana

A/N: ik the bi pride flag wasn't until like the 90s, but like...let's pretend it was a thing then  ;-;

@tealaquinn @frozenhuntress67 @juxt4p0siti0n @kwyloz

Requested by: @i-do-not-know-what-my-life-is

Let me know if you wanna be added to the IB or OUATIH taglists :)

______________________________________________________

 Cliff, your estranged, clueless dad, gets a call when you get arrested at the Stonewall riot, while he’s in Italy. _____________________________________________________

She had her issues...but you loved your mom. You didn't remember her as much, but you knew she loved you. Did she love your dad? Maybe not... Did he love her? He tried... But goddamn did he love you. You were his kid. And as much of a tough guy as Cliff was, he had a major soft spot for his kid. You were the one thing in the world he loved. And your dad? Well he was your hero. That much you remembered. No matter what the magazines and tabloids said, you knew he didn't kill her. But that was years ago. You were just a kid, then. You didn't understand it at all. But you knew he didn't do it. Now, people weren't so sure. That included the judge. So, Cliff lost his custody over you. You were going to New York, with your aunt. Your aunt was frigid. She   she wasn't much of an affectionate person. That only got worse as the years went on. Really, that judge sentenced both you and Cliff to loneliness. Being in a completely different city, where it snowed and rained, where the people were loud and angry...well... It was just the exact opposite of the home you knew in sunny California, in the shade of Hollywood sign. Cliff did his best. He tried to be around as much as posible, but you cried whenever he called. Your aunt didn't know how to handle it. She started to hide Cliff's letters to you. She'd answer the phone, tell him you were alright, and you weren't home, or you were at soccer practice, you were with friend, Gina. At one point, he confronted her. You didn't play soccer. You liked to surf. You never mentioned a friend named Gina. But you had a friend named Sarah. How was it that you were never home? You were a shy kid.  Your aunt leveled with him. "You're just not the best influence, Cliff. You don't have a stable job, you live in a trailer now! You have nothing to offer to her, you can't even put Y/N through college. You are a terrible influence on her. She’s upset whever you talk to her, and it’s a damn headache. Yes she misses you, but...it's just better this way, don't you think?" And after that...he never called again. Because, he thought she was right, Maybe you really were  better off without him. You asked your aunt about the letters. He used to draw things on the margins to make you laugh.  You got those letters twice a week. You looked forward to them...and they suddenly stopped coming.

Being so young, you thought maybe he stopped thinking about you. Eventually, as you got older, you wondered if people were right about him. Still, you never had a warm place to call home. Yes, you had a roof over your head, and you had everything you could ever ask for...but you never had anyone you thought cared. Your mother was gone, your dad stopped talking to you, and your aunt...welll... She had this thing she would whisper to other adults, just loud enough for you to hear. "She's not like the other kids." She snapped one day. Why? You found love. You weren't allowed to have a boyfriend yet. That was ok. Because...yes, you'd liked guys before. But... her name was Diana. She was a senior, you were still a junior. You found her, you knew you loved her, and you fought for her. But no matter what you said, to your aunt, it was "wrong." And...you were locked in your room. You weren't allowed to go anywhere but from home to school and back. No excuses. And that was no way to live. So, like any other girl in love, you found a way: The fire escape. It was rusty, but it was steady and reliable enough. You lived your way. You did it your way. You fought for it. You snuck out, and lived your life the way you should. Happy, as yourself, with whoever you wanted. You went to parties, snuck into clubs with your friends... with Diana.

You were a fighter, and you did things your way. You were like your father in that sense, even if you didn't really remember.

Even if you did it your way, the world wasn't ready for you. But that didn't matter. Because you weren't invisible. Not anymore. You existed. You loved. Nobody could take that from you, or anyone else that was there, or anyone else that would live through the same thing as you. You were there. The cops came in. Diana slipped her hand into yours. You were done hiding. Everyone was. You were there (with a fake id). But you had to be. You were there when that shotglass hit the mirror. You weren't afraid anymore. Stonewall was just the beginning. ...well.... you got arrested. You weren't scared...but it didn't help that you were there with a fake ID. Your aunt...well...that's what scared you most. "She’s gonna kick me out..." Diane was sitting on the ground in front of you, "Baby, it's ok. We're in this together..." "It's not...not that easy." "No one said it was. Hell, that's why this started. It's gonna get better. It has to!" You smiled. Somehow...she was always so positive. She took your hands in hers, looking at you, "Even if it's not so smooth, you know I'm stilll here with you, all the way." You smiled softly, and she gave you a soft, reassuring kiss. She sat by you then, wrapped her arms around you, and rested her head on your shoulder. "Dee?" "Yeah, hun?" You sighed, "I know...this isn't the best place...but...You did say you wanted to go out and celebrate."" You could hear the smile in her voice, "I did say that, didn't I." "Yeah, but you never told me why we were celebrating." "Oh! Well..." She giggled, a little embarrassed. She didn't have the best memory, but she had a big heart. You chuckled. Somehow, her laugh made it all a little better. She reached in her back pocket, and pulled out a folded up envelope. "I got in!" She held up a folded up acceptance letter from UCLA. Her dream school.... All the way on the other side of the country. You squealed in excitement, as you held her, "Baby I'm so proud of you!" You held her as you rocked side to side. Then...it hit you.... The other side of the country... You were absolutely proud of her. It was her dream school, and it was not an easy school to get in to.... but you didn't want to say goodbye. She knew that... "Hey...look at me, babe..." She held your face up, "I'll call you every day! I'll send you stuff in the mail, postcards, pictures! I'll fly out and visit every chance I get!" You smiled, and nodded, though, you'd heard those things before... And it stung you... Still, you nodded. You trusted her. "I know, baby. I know..." Then...you heard the sound of heels echoing down the hall. "Aunt Lena-" She cut you off. "You're just like your father. Absolutely disgusting. I'm not bailing you out of here. You’re not coming back to my home. Drinking, and...and..." "Don’t." You gritted your teeth. "Sinning. You're staying here, with this, this wh-" "Say one word. Say one word about Diana, and I will-" "What? Kill me? Just like your father killed your mother?!" You had enough. You clung to the bars, "SAY ONE MORE THING ABOUT HIM, AND I SWEAR I'LL-" "You belong here.” She scoffed, “You're proving me right, dear. You're not my problem anymore." She turned her back on you. Your knuckles were white, still gripping the bars, until Diana pulled you away.  ***************************************** It was 8AM. Rick was hungover, but he knew his best friend. "C'mon ol' buddy. What's wrong?" Cliff shook his head, "Wrong? Nothin’s wrong." "You've b-been dipping that piece of celery in your bloody mary f-for twenty minutes." "Yeah..." "C'mon Cliff, w-what's the matter?" Cliff sighed. "Y/N's in trouble." Rick's mouth dropped, "Y/n? Sweet lil Y/n?" Of course, the last time he saw you, was the last time Cliff saw you. After the trial. You were just six years old then. That was eleven years ago...and it was easy to forget how quickly time moved. "Yeah." "Trouble? What do you mean?!  Trouble?! Y/n?!" He was absolutely shocked. "Trouble, like grounded-trouble? Or t-rouble, like, we're f-flyin into New York right now to kick somebody's ass-trouble?" "We?" "S-sure!" Rick meant it. You used to call him Uncle Rick, and it melted his heart. Ten years may have passed, but he'd be damned if he ever let anything happen to you.

Cliff sighed, "See, I don't know either. All Lena said-" "Lena...The wicked witch of the east?" Cliff laughed, "That's the one, partner." "Wel, what'd she say?" "She's givin' up custody over Y/n." "So...you're getting her back?" "Yeah...and..." "And?" "Y/n got arrested and Lena won't bail her out." Rick gasped. "ARrESTeD?! It caN"T BE.! Why?!" Cliff shook his head, "She didn't say. All she said was that Y/n's a 'damned degenrate,' and 'just like me.' " Rick shook his head, "Hey. This...this is all a misunderstanding! How bad can it be? I mean-" "I never shoulda let ‘em take Y/n from me. I swear to God, If I see Lena..." "How could she say that about Y/n?!" "I fucking hope I don't see her, no one talks about my kid like that! And...” It was like he had a revelation. He stood up, “My baBY IS IN JAIL, WHAT AM I STILL DOING HERE, RICK?! I NEED TO SEE THAT SHE'S O-FUCKEN-KAY. IS SHE GETTING ENOUGH FOOD? IS SHE COLD? IS SHE SCARED?! I NEED TO-" For once, Rick wasn't the one in hysterics... and normally it would have freaked him out, but ths was Cliff's kid they were talking aout. He was acting like any dad should. "Bring her home. Y-you need to bring her h-home, buddy." "I...we're in Italy...I can't take care of her..." Now, the tables had really turned. Rick scrambled for the right words, but he gave it his best shot. "Look, I-I remeber the w-way that kid used to l-look at you. You're n-not just a fucking war hero, you w-were her hero." Cliff's heart sank... "You're her-her old man. She's got n-nowhere else to go. Her home is w-wherever you are. D-don't matter wh-what that judge said t-ten years ago. You're s-still her dad, y-you love that kid, no m-matter what, right?" Cliff nodded. Rick slipped something into Cliff’s hand. It was a a couple hundred dollars. Enough for a couple plane tickets, and enough to bail you out. "Rick, you don't have to-" "I miss that kid, Cliff. And if I fucking m-missed Y/n, I can't even imagine what t-the hell you felt. Take the money."  "You're a good friend, Rick..." ****** "Y/n..." The first thing he did, was give you a hug. He couldn't give back the ten years you didn't have together, but it was a start. "Y/n, what's going on!? All Lena said was that you were-" he cut himself off. He didn't want to hurt your feelings, "In trouble. All that cops say you were at a protest, but...what? What happened? Are you hurt? Are you-" You couldn't believe it... He seemed like he really cared. "Dad?" "Yes? I'm...I'm sorry...I'm here now, I know I haven't been, I know you probably hate me, but...Lena told me you didn't want to hear from me, you didn’t need me... and I thought maybe she was right. But...she wasn't..." "She told you what?!" "Oh. Shit!" Your aunt had ruined everything without you realizing, all along. "Dad, that's not true... She just." "She wanted the best for you, I know-" "She kicked me out. She wouldn't bail me out because she kicked me out." "What!? Why?! Y/n, what’s going on?!" "I..." He sat in front of you, his hand on your shoulder, like he used to do when you were a little kid. "Y/n, you can tell me anything. It's ok." "Dad...I..." You wanted to hide it, but you had no where else to go. Whatever he said, you weren't cahnging. "I'm bi." You shut your eyes, and flinched, having no idea how he’d react. "Y/n. 3,994 miles between us didn't stop me from lovin' and misin' ya. Whoever you love and miss won't either. You're my kid, Y/n. It doesnt matter to me." "Y...you're not mad?" You opened your eyes, and found him smiling softly, like he always had.  “Mad?" He raised an eyebrow. How could he be mad at you? "You got arrested at a riot..." "Because I was at a gay bar..." He shook his head, "Becase you fought for what you believe in...I was a little older than you are now, but I fought for what I believed in." "You're a war hero, it's not the same." "I know. I had half the world on my side... You don't..." His heart broke, realizing it wouldn't be easy, "You don't....but you're not done fighting." He was still proud of you. "Some day, things will be better... You might not have a goddamn army, you may not have much, but you're not alone. You have me." You smiled... you felt like you could cry. Those were words you needed to hear all your life. You threw your arms around him, and he hugged you back. When you finally let go, you asked, "Can I...say goodbye to someone first?" He nodded, and then looked where you wre looking. "Is that her..." He smiled a little, "My kid's a regular Casanova, ain't she?" You sighed, "Dad!" He chuckled, "Alright, alright. Sorry...Go on, now, I'll wait outside." You smiled, "Thanks dad..." So...you said goodbye to Diana. A little sooner than expected, but, "YOU'RE GOING TO LA TOO?!" She bounded up and down, and wrapped her arms around you, "YES!" She squeezed you so tight, you thought you'd break a rib. But...you were ok with that. "We'll be in Italy for a while, but we'll be in LA in August, right around the time you move in!" Diana smiled softly, "Baby, I told you, it gets better." You nodded and smiled, "I know, Dee..." "Go on, tell your dad I said hi. That's him, right?" You turned around, to see him behind the glass door, giving you a thumbs up with a grin. You couldn't help but face palm. Diana smiled, "Hey...I'll see you in two months, ok?" "Ok," You smiled, and you kissed goodbye. You went your ways, her parents bailed her out a few hours before you. You looked back, and he was now giving you two thumbs up. It was a bit embarassing...but it was everything you wanted. **************** You arrived at the airport in Rome, and there he was. Uncle Rick. "Hey kid..." He smiled, his eyes a little teary. You smiled back and hugged him, "Hey Uncle Rick" He was a bit like Diana, and gave you a hug that was too tight, but still welcome. You laughed a little, "I missed you too!" And you spent the rest of the day with them, exploring Rome. The next morning, they brought you to the set, and while Cliff was getting into his costume, you unng out with Rick. "Ya know, he never s-stopped thinking about you. Talked about y-you a ton." "Really?" "Yeah. Mostly you need to g-get him really drunk. Guess it hurt a lot." You nodded, "I know..." Rick was a little nervous of messing it up, stepping into something he shouldn't, but he wanted you to know...

he was still the cool uncle. "S-so you got in trouble, huh?" "Yup." "How come?" "I got a girlfriend." "And?" "What do you mean 'and’?" He shrugged, "C'mon Y/n. I got to Hollywood parties. I live in Hollywood. There's so much worse things. Li-like hippies." "Hippies?" You raised your eyebrow as you laughed. "Yeah. And some illegal things. Like murder...I-I mean, its a nice place to live!...You'll be fine.” He hoped he wasn't blowing it, "What's her name?" "Diana." He saw the smile when you said her name. "Oh my God...you love her!" You blushed a little, "I do..." He shrugged, "Don't be embarassed. You know, some things are w-worth getting in trouble over. You know what you shouldn't get in t-trouble over? Drugs... well....maybe.... But you didn't hear it from me." "Oh my God." "But love? Always w-worth the trouble." You knew he was trying his best, and you smiled, "Thanks Uncle Rick." "Don't mention it, kiddo. S-serioisly. Don't t-tell your dad wh-what I said about drugs!" "I know, I know." You chuckled, as you walked out of the trailer, and he called out as a last ditch effort, "Say no to drugs!" ********************* A few months later, you were finally going back to LA. He told you, he didn't have much. Just a trailer, and a dog.   But, he'd told Rick that he was using the money from their time in Italy to get a small apartment big enough for you, him, and Brandy. So, you were there with them, as they said their goodbyes. You decided, maybe they needed some time alone, so you went with Francesca and Brandy for a while. After a while, she smiled, "You know, you're just like your father." "Why does everyone keep telling me that?" She laughed as  you sat together on the ground, magazines laid out as she showed you the latest in fashion in Italy, as Brandy sat by, while you petted her. Your first night in LA was...well...one to remember. You ended up throwing a paper weight into a hippie's nose, effectively breaking it. Cliff would go on to say 'Kid's got an actual killer aim.' And after that, you'd never hear the end of people saying you were just like him... Which you were coming to learn wasn't so bad. "You're a good friend, Cliff." "I try."

The ambulance drove away, and Rick had promised Cliff he'd keep an eye on you while he was in the hospital. "Well, wh-what’d I say? S-say no to drugs." "That's your takeaway from this?" You furrowed your brows as you looked up at him, and he laughed. But, the night wasn't over. You ended up going over to meet Sharon Tate, and Roman Polanski. Your first night in LA was... well, unforgettable, to say the least.  Days passed. Things started to look up. Rick started getting interviews, and casting calls left and right. Meaning...he and Cliff were back in business. You were happy, really, and you liked going to visit him at the hospital in the meantime, but, he knew something was on your mind. Ten years may have gone, but he knew that when you held your right wrist with your left hand, you were thinking about something. "Y/n? What're you thinkin' about?" "Well...Diana's moving in to her dorm today. Can I go help her?" Cliff smiled as he laid back in the bed.  "I'll be ok, Y/n. You go and help her. It'll give you some practice. When I get out, you can help me move our stuff into the apartment." You rolled your eyes and smiled, "Yeah, I know, dad." He sat up, "Hold on, before you go, I didn't have the chance to give this to you." He held out a little box. You opened it, and saw a bracelet made from blue, pink, and purple beads. "I bought it from a hippie in Santa Monica....Don't tell Rick about the hippie."" You smiled, and looked at him... You hugged him. He smiled, and hugged you back. "Alright, go help Diana. I'll see you tomorrow, kid." You smiled, "See you tomorrow, dad." 

[seduceme-lovestruck-thearcana]

@megatraven

I got another lyric breakdown >:)). It’s a kinda happy song but I’m gonna use it in 2 ways. 2 sad ways. One involves Alex not related to my Hades idea,,and one that relates to Hades and my Hades idea that I’ve @’ed(??? is that how you would spell it lol? like atted) you at too many times dnwbdb. The song is “This Town,” by Niall Horan. It’s a good song but I like this cover. It’s so good and uGH EMOTIONS! And before I start, idk how Hades is in Astraeus’s route, but I believe that he is like Hades in his own route sorta?? I basically took that and ran with it. AND THIS IS RLLY LONG BTW SORRY FNFJBIWF.

EDIT: SORRY ONE MORE THING TO ADD! I skipped some lyrics since they repeat themselves. Like the “and I wanna tell you everything...” part repeats itself and such so I decided to skip that :))).

“Waking up to kiss you and nobodies there. The smell of your perfume still stuck in the air...”.

In Alex’s route, MC dies (from literally any dangerous situation she’s in,,,which is a lot) and Alex used to always wake up with MC in their arms. They would look at her for a few moments and then kiss her softly, which always caused her to wake up. She’d smile at them and they’d smile back...but now they can’t do that. They’re alone in the bed, they can’t look at MC, they can’t feel her, nothing. To make it worse, they still smell her perfume in the air. It’s like how in Hydras season 1 pov, he was in his hideout and said he didn’t know why he came back here since wherever he looks...he’s reminded of MC,,,and when he lays on the bed he says its a mistake because it smells just like her. And the same goes for Alex...they smell her everywhere and it hurts.

And then its almost the same for Hades. Whether it be my idea of when she’s gone with Alex, or if she died during the Hera process in Astraeus’s route (ik they didn’t do the Hera ritual, but in this context they did. Mentioned Astraeus since I mean the Hades in Astraeus’ route-), he knew this was going to hurt. He knew giving her up would hurt. He knew it. And now he had to experience it. He’d wake up (not even knowing how he fell asleep in the first place) and in the grogginess of sleep, he’d expect to see MC, and when he doesn’t he panics. He’s pushed back into that state he was in his s1 pov when he LITERALLY RAN UP THE STAIRS TO HER APARTMENT!!

 But the panic subsides when he remembers what happened. MC is gone. She isn’t with him anymore. She’s not with anyone. Only her mother in the Underworld. And he gets emotional, but calms down. “I have to. I’m a God,” he would tell himself. Told himself that he is a shadow, meant to feel nothing and almost be nothing. But when he goes to his closet, he sees her clothes. Well, he smells them first. He opens the door and her perfume is sent straight out. He only just then noticed she had so many dresses. Dresses he has memories of her wearing, memories of where she was always holding his arm or hand. The ones where they’d come home and say “I love you” to each other. 

“Yesterday I thought I saw your shadow running around.”

Whenever Alex entered the apartment, they swear they would see MC...or maybe just a memory of her. Its like in their season 2 when she left and came back and how they said “You’re real, right?” LIKE HNNG ALEX!! But the flash never lasts, she’s always gone and they miss seeing her in the apartment, hearing her welcome them home, or even her coming home with them. It hurt so bad,,but they’ll take the memories since it’s better than never have being with her at all.

With Hades, he has a ton of memories with her on Olympus since he is a Top Tier God. If he wasn’t paying attention and stuck in his head when he’s walking, he’d swear he sees a figure walking in front of him but kinda to the side of him, and when he snaps out of his stare, it’s gone. No one was there. And then sometimes he’d see two people there. One taller than the other figure, the other shorter figure trying to make itself seem taller, and he’d hear laughs. Sometimes, he wouldn’t look over. Even if it was in his peripheral vision, he still wanted to see and hear. But it never lasted long. He wonders if this is his Reaper punishing him for what he’s done. Forcing him to see what he wants most and so ironically making it out of shadows. What he is meant to represent...

“And I wanna tell you everything, the words I never got to say the first time around.”

Alex told her many things. They told her basically everything they wanted to tell her, so this doesn’t truly go for them. But there were a few stories they wish they shared with her...

But it goes perfectly with Hades. He told her “I love you” and he meant it, he told her stories that weren’t so bad, he showed her his love, but he didn’t say the one thing he should’ve. “I’ll fight for you.” He wanted to fight for her, he did, but he didn’t see a way out. “Or what if there was a way out? What if I didn’t see it because I didn’t do enough? Did I not try hard enough?” He asked himself all those questions, even if he knew the answers. “Of course there was a way out.” And then he’d whisper something MC always told him.

“There’s always a way out.”

But he didn’t look for it, he didn’t search hard enough, he didn’t fight for her, and now he was paying the price.

“And I remember everything, from when we were but children playing in this fairground. Wish I was there with you now...”

Now, this obviously only goes for Alex lol. They remembered when they were kids with her, they always do. They remember her being playful, kind, a little shy, and playing with them and being with them. They had so many tales of her being young with them, and how they loved that time just as much as they loved every new day with her...and now they wish they could go back and hold her as tight as their little body would let them (without hurting her-).

“If the whole world was watching, I’d still dance with you. Drive highways and byways to be there with you.”

Ya know that cliche thing in movies where they dance in the kitchen?? Alex and MC definitely did that. And they remember that every time they’re in the kitchen. They remember dancing with her in whatever way they could. If they were waiting for their food, they would dance with her and just have fun with each other. Coming home and being able to touch her with affection was always their favorite part of the day. And if people were in the kitchen with them or if they were anywhere else, they’d still dance with her and have such a fun time. And Alex doesn’t over do the speed limit much anymore. They used to when they were rushing to get to MC or rushing them together to some place, but now they didn’t really rush anywhere. Only to HERA if it was serious, but otherwise, it was slow and the only thing they did the same was tapping their fingers against the steering wheel. But they remember many times where they were driving down many highways just to get to MC...

And imagine Hades taking MC to a dancing place. Just to somewhere fancy (maybe a Gala) so they can enjoy themselves. MC feels anxiety since there’s so many people, its so fancy, and she doesn’t want to embarrass herself. However, Hades isn’t worried. He’s not the best dancer, but he doesn’t mind because MC is here. MC is with him and it didn’t matter how many people were looking at them, he’d love to dance with her and always comforted her. But now,,,he doesn’t really like dancing. Olympus may have parties every now and then (years later) and everyone expects Hades to be a little friendly and wanting to dance with many of the people or kindly decline, but no. He doesn’t do that anymore. He’s ‘fine’ by himself in the corner watching many people drink and dance drunk-like, and he usually would be with MC in the back, drinking their wine, and being together if an Olympus party happened, but now he was alone and wouldn’t dance with anyone anymore. 

And he remembers driving down the highway in his s1 when he was so scared for MC and how he wanted to get there as fast as he could and now he wishes he could drive down a highway and feel the warmth in his heart of being able to see MC. He would drive as long as it took to get back to MC, but now he can’t...he can’t go anywhere. Only in the Underworld and he knows no one would be happy to see him there,,,

“Everything comes back to you.”

All of the happiness in their life came back to her. Their happiness when they were a kid came from MC. They didn’t feel as lonely anymore and they had a special kind of warmth in their heart when she was around them...the warmth that carried through their life until MC was in their arms,,but its still there. Just the memory of her brings a nice feeling to their body and they feel calm, even if the memories cause agony at times...

And Hades pain and happiness comes back to her as well. When he looks at any God or Goddess, he’s reminded of what happened when he first met MC. His family disappeared and was taken away from him...and she helped him. She helped everyone. She solved the multiple puzzles Astraeus sent and comforted him when he didn’t expect it. She gave it to him with no hesitation and loved him,,and that’s how he fell for her. She brought true happiness in his life and the emptiness of that happiness all goes back to her death.... But it truly comes back to him.

“I saw that you moved on to someone new. In the park that we met they’ve got their arms around you.”

Lets say Alex finds her reincarnation and they feel pain in their heart. They’re friends with her (which is a blessing in itself) and when they find out she has a partner, it hurts them a little bit, even if they’re happy for her. They see her one day and they stare for a second. It reminds them of when MC was with them and they went to the park. They would have a picnic or go on a walk. Now,, they couldn’t do that with her-

And Hades... Let’s say he finds her one day. Alex and MC left, fear in their hearts, caused by him. He finds them in the park in some different state, having a picnic together. Hades isn’t too surprised. To make my AU worse, MC sent him her engagement ring that Cyclops had made. Hades never took his off. He didn’t see their engagement as over since he was looking for her and wanted to apologize, but now he knows its over. But he doesn’t stop looking. Even if she calls it quits, he just wants to apologize. She doesn’t have to take him back, he just needs to say he’s sorry,,,and maybe ask for them to forgive him...And he does find Alex and MC. He’s at the other end of the park and they haven’t notice him, thankfully. He just stares. They’re laughing and looking out into the distance. “They’re happy...they’re both okay...” he thought to himself. His heart shattered even more, but he knows MC’s was more shattered, but now it was slowly being put back together, and how could he not be happy for someone he loves so much? He thinks about walking up to them for awhile, but he decides to write it instead. 

I think of just him writing a letter of how sorry he is,,how he loves her,,and how he hopes maybe they can forgive him and see him and Aphrodite again, but tells them it’s okay if not. He can see why they wouldn’t. He writes it quickly, signs his name, tells them that he’s at Olympus, and gives it to someone. He tells them to go give it ‘to the couple over there’. He would watch as they get it and thank the person and open it. They read it together and fold it up and Alex puts it in their pocket. Instead of ignoring it, they both look around. Not wanting them to panic and notice him, he begins to walk away and hope that maybe they’ll come to Olympus to see him and Aphrodite...But he still didn’t take off his engagement ring,,just wanted to remind himself of better times, times he ruined.

“You still make me nervous when you walk in the room. Them butterflies they come alive when I’m next to you.”

Alex always felt warmth when they were with her and whenever she looked at them, they got anxious but in the good way. They wanted her to look at them with love and pride, and she did, but she still gave them butterflies whenever they saw her and felt nervous when seeing her come in the office (before they dated and maybe after they dated). But now the butterflies were gone and they didn’t feel real nervous anymore,,,

Hades didn’t feel nervous, not until MC came into his life. He was a God. He never truly wanted to impress someone, he just wanted to be himself. His kind self towards everyone, but MC made him nervous. A nervousness he wasn’t used to, a nervousness he realized was named Love. He felt anxious around her and wanted to please her. He got knots and butterflies in his stomach when he thought of her when they started dating. He loved her and he got a nice kind of anxious when he was going to meet her wherever. He loved that feeling and it never really went away. Well, until she was gone. When she was going to become Hera, his stomach hurt all the time. The knots and butterflies were now painful and made him scared, but he didn’t show it. No. Now, the knot returns when he thinks of her. Not the good kind anymore,,just pain for what he’s done and how he didn’t stop it at all.

“And I know that it’s wrong, that I can’t move on. But there’s something ‘bout you.”

That part isn’t in the cover but I just remembered it and UGH ITS SUCH A GOOD LINE!!

Alex doesn’t know how to move on. They can’t. Their heart was under lock and key. MC held the key in her hand everyday, always managing to make them love her even more everyday. Now, the key was missing, and they’d wait for as long as it took for her to come back. And some people see this as ‘wrong’ or ‘weird’. Many Gods say that they’ll get over it (not to their face) and how they live forever, they’ll be fine. But they won’t. Not until she’s back in their arms again or even just in their life again.

And Hades knows its wrong. He shouldn’t be the one struggling. She’s gone, he didn’t stop it, heck he enabled it, and he’s the one that’s struggling? He is, and he feels like its wrong. But he can’t help it. No smile comes to his face, he finds himself drinking coffee (like Persephone said in his s1, he rarely ever drank coffee), and not really using his phone. Mainly because when he opens it the memories rush back and it hurts. He sees his lock screen which is a picture of him and MC in a restaurant not rarely known and it only had hamburgers and greasy food there. It was one of the best dates he remembers because she made him step out of line, even his own rules!! He showed her her mother because he loved her!! There were many things about her that he loved, and one thing was how she made him break the rules and he felt like that was right, but now he feels like his life is just wrong. 

HMM!! IM SAD!! Literally been thinking of the Hades Astraeus route AU AND IM SAD MEGGG!! I love this and usually saw it as an Alex song, but now I see it as my Hades AU song and iT HURTS!! It could go for Apollo as well but today’s not about Apollo right now its about another Top Tier God :(((.

 And a side note (sorry to make this longer) in my universe and the AFK universe with Rose and Apollo (since Yh they’re canon there too), the MC isn’t Rose but Apollo is still Apollo and I had to say that he would never vote for that. He would never send someone to their death. Mainly because he was taught that humans don’t deserve this. Well, he just learned when he started to go to the surface more often. Heck, the only reason he would be present for the judging is because he was dragged to Olympus by the Gods. He stayed on the surface, loves to help people, and live life like the humans did. Other Gods and Goddesses felt complete on Olympus, but Apollo never felt complete. Not without Rose. But being on Earth and helping people and seeing them smile,,gave him a sort of completeness he wanted to keep feeling, and he never really went back to Olympus. Only when he wanted to see his friends or some Gods dragged  him back. 

Anyways,,thats all today >:)))). Didn’t mean to bring Apollo in this bUT I ALWAYS FIND A WAY FDJJIEFB. But yeah Im sad and hope you’re sad like I am and I’m sorry to keep bringing this same idea up, I’m just so sad at the idea😭. Love youuu💙. There’s some proof reading but I still make mistakes, so sorry if there’s mistakes-

[crystalelemental]

Oh man.  GamePress apparently updated the offensive tier list to be AR exclusive, and boy have there been some changes.  You know I have opinions on this one.

Okay let’s start with the obvious part: how in the hell is any Legendary hero considered above Tier 2?  Like, are we not factoring in score?  Or are we only accounting for if they score well?  Because realistically, half the time, a legendary hero is an active detriment to the scoring.  Also it turns out this isn’t just offense, but both offense AND defense, since Mirabilis is Tier 1.  So that’s gonna be...honestly, a bit confusing.  I’m sure some people can tell which is which, but I’m willing to bet others aren’t clear.

Let’s start with the biggest changes at the top.  Eliwood and Brave Roy are now Tier 1, likely because Galeforce.  Nothing else is different that I can tell.  Maybe some demotion?  But nothing substantial.  Lysithea is finally recognized as Tier 1, and I’m certain it’s because of her power on AR-D.  Girl is obscene.  Otherwise, Fallen Julia is the only other T1 Red Mage, and damn good on her.  Idunn demoted, but honestly, fair.  AR is not for her.  Armor units are not hard to handle, and are pretty bad on offense.  Especially with Thrasir existing, armor dragons just have a rough go.  Spring Idunn and Tibarn alone are T1.  What I do find interesting is that Dancer Micaiah didn’t maintain.  I guess the Hardy Bearing effect isn’t as impressive anymore.  Also Karla stayed T2, that’s...astonishing, actually.  Duo Byleth is also T2, which kinda makes sense.  Defense can’t make use of her Duo skill, and her bulk is pathetic, so any typical ranged defense unit can handle her.  On offense, it’s going to be tough.  Desperation effect is good, but conditional on having a fast team, not to mention Galeforce sets can require the foe to retaliate, like with Eliwood/Brave Roy.  So I can’t say I’m surprised she’s not on top.

Lance seems to just be B!Lucina, Duo Ephraim, and Trio Palla.  Which is fair.  Blue mages, though?  Damn is this crowded.  L!Azura and Peony, because obscene dancers.  Ophelia, because bitch.  Duo Alphonse, because immortality.  Brunnya, because honestly Fimbulvetr is perfect for this game mode, and she’s got the infantry status and abilities to do whatever she wants.  And L!Julia.  I’m willing to bet she’s more AR-D focused.  Rafiel and L!Chrom are also T1, of course.  I think what really surprises me is that Reinhardt is T2.  Is anyone else surprised about this?  I guess he’s not the most threatening thing in the world anymore, but still.  Actually wait, what’s REALLY neat is that Naga is T3.  So clearly scoring considerations are not paramount.

Axes have V!Duo Alm, Annette, L!Edelgard, and B!Ike.  Because of course.  All of them are ridiculous.  Mages have L!Celica, Thrasir, and Fallen Lyon, with beasts/dragons having Reyson.  Which, again, makes sense.  I’m glad Surtr demoted to T2.  I really don’t think of him as the most threatening aspect of AR anymore, even on dedicated stall, so this feels overdue.  Yune’s also T2, which..okay, fair.  While I think she’s great, she’s a ranged flying unit who plays defense, and her debuff game is crippled severely by Eir’s bonuses.  It’s super weird that F!Kana demoted, though.  She was T1 before, and that was entirely based on AR potential, so...okay.  Guess the meta has shifted hard enough against her.  Also, big shoutouts to Julia for maintaining T2 status.  That’s my girl.

Bows have L!Alm, L!Leif, V!Faye, and Duo Marth.  I can’t speak for Duo Marth, I don’t have him, but I feel like the fact I’ve never faced one means he’s at least not good on AR-D.  I can vouch for V!Faye, though, holy shit.  In fact can we establish Tier 0 for the primordial beings that break the world over their knees?  Anyway, Bernadetta and B!Lyn are T2, and I’m betting that’s for hit-and-run offense teams.  Also Norne’s T2 now, which is super correct.  I’ve felt this for a while, and the forum backs me up pretty hard on it: Norne’s the best common archer by a mile.  But of course, you all know what I’m going to say.  There is no way Faye is T3.  I have played her ranged defense game long enough to know that she is really strong at it.  While some threats like Lysithea can blow past her, and Thrasir isn’t always one-shot with my current supports, she is very capable of performing better than T3.  Also, poor Clarisse.  Finally gets a kickass refine that’s just not particularly great for AR, and instead of climbing the ranks of the offensive tier list, they change the conditions on her.  Girl can’t catch a break.

Dagger/Mage combos have, of course, Bramimond, Leila, Eir, and Duo Micaiah.  Absolutely no surprises here.  What is surprising, maybe just to me, is that Winter Cecilia is down to T3.  She was considered T2 for a long while, and I’d guessed that was based on AR potential.  I guess Duo Micaiah is causing substantial problems for armors across the board?  But man, Larum is T2.  LARUM.  Larum sucks, what could she possibly be doing that’s useful?

Dragons/Beasts have Fallen Female Corrin, Leanne, Mila, and Velouria.  I love everything about this.  Leanne makes sense for Defense teams, Velouria is a great Galeforcer, Mila is probably the best Light mythic for supertank strategies, and Fallen Female Corrin makes me happy because Fallen Male Corrin is only T2.  Get fucked, loser.  Your higher BST does nothing for your shit ass.  I do think there’s an argument for Caineghis in T1 for an offensive supertank, but honestly, he struggles.  To a degree I’d say he’s worse than Faye.  We don’t have any beast Mythics, and the only offensive dragon is Mila.  His DC is conditional on transforming, and he’s an armor unit.  He can’t run Null C-Disrupt, or Null Follow-Up like she can, so there are defense teams that can beat him by exploiting this.  I feel like Faye’s a lot better, but hey, what do I know.

And finally, staves.  Bridal Fjorm is the only one in T1.  Brave Veronica actually dropped, which is funny because she was T1 before solely on AR.  She doesn’t place in Arena.  I guess the meta has shifted away from Brave Veronica lately.  I haven’t been scared of one in a long time.  And hey, Maribelle is T2 as well, and Forrest got pushed up to T3!  Unfortunately, Brave Camilla was reduced to T3, so she’s still below B!Veronica.  Which in this game mode I guess is fair.

Now for the opposite end of the spectrum.  There are now 6 tiers, which I like.  I feel the subdivisions are appropriate, we have enough units that categorization was tough.  T4 for lances and swords was like 60 units before, I’m glad it got cleaned up a bit.  For red stuff, Alfonse remains at the bottom, but is no longer alone.  NY!Camilla, Chrom, V!Conrad, Beach Fiora, Hinata, and NY!Hrid are also down there.  Haha, Hrid, get fucked you loser.  That’s for January 2019, you fuck.  Mages here include Canas, Julius (ouch), Leo, Beach Leo, Raigh, and Beach Lorenz.  No surprises.  There are no dragons, daggers, or bows for red down here, the lowest they go is T4.  Hysterically, every form of red Tiki is in T4.  Also, maybe this is me not understanding something, but NY!Anna and NY!Eir in T4 surprises me.  I thought their weapons were considered great team support.  Are their stats just not optimized for it? 

T6 lances are many.  Too many, I’m not listing all of that.  What I will say is, tell my Forma Finn running on the double cav Galeforce defense team that he’s T6.  Considering I only lost two matches at all last season, and only 38 Lift, I’d say he’s doing alright.  But there are probably better options out there, I’m just working with what I have.  Mages are just Oliver and M!Robin.  Man, I hope M!Robin goes up with the resplendent.  Leave Oliver to die.  No dragons, bows, or daggers, they’re all up in T4 where...where...no.  No, there’s no way.  Lilith has warp abilities from anywhere.  NAESALA is considered T4, despite being paired with Tibarn for some of the nastiest offensive AR-D strategies out there.  Mordecai has the Smite thing.  I don’t agree with this at all.  And Ninian is T3?  Even though she’s one of the top picks for Infantry Pulse AR-D dancers?  I know Nils exists and is better in every way pretty much, but that’s a bit much to me.  I think the blue dragon/beast section is the most ridiculous by far.

There are also a lot of axes down in T6, but I agree with all of them.  The green mages make me sad, though.  Picnic Leo, Cecilia, and Female Robin.  I do think F!Robin has a lot of utility within the game, but...honestly they’re super right, she cannot possibly compete in AR.  Defense teams have no use for her, and offensive teams using her as a support are a bad idea with Panic Manor around.  Mostly Cecilia makes my heart hurt.  Come on, IS.  Null C-Disrupt Raven Tome when?  As with the other tiers, all dragons, bows, and daggers of this color are higher ranked.  That said, L!Lyn in T5.  Get fucked.  There’s also...absolutely nothing controversial about their T4 picks.  Green’s pretty well sorted, good job team.

The only colorless option with units in T6 are healers, where we have Azama, Mist, Wrys, Sakura, and Lissa.  Nothing controversial here.  In fact, nothing controversial in T5, either.  What is sad but super true, is that F!Grima’s here.  All the other colorless beasts and dragons are clustered in T1 and T2, but she’s down in T5.  Expiration refine when?  Felicia and Jaffar are the lowest ranked daggers, to no one’s surprise.  None of the bows are shocking either, except I’m kinda surprised Niles isn’t at least a little higher.  I feel like his massive Res must account for something when attempting to tank out the many ranged magic threats on AR-D, right?

Overall, I...actually agree with the majority of this.  It’s a solid tierlist for Aether Raids.  There are some things I don’t entirely agree with, but would have trouble arguing in their favor in the current meta.  Like Micaiah.  As we move entirely away from armor units, Micaiah becomes less and less significant.  I do think the blue dragon/beast section could take some revisiting, given that goddamn Naesala is down in T4, but one area that seems off isn’t bad when you have so much to organize.  I like it.  Definitely a lot better than the previous list, because at least now we’re specialized.  Before, there was always an argument that a certain unit was better or worse based on performance in a specific area.  But here, it’s more stable.  I’m not sure if there’s intent to make an Arena one, or if that’s even necessary since scoring is a lot more specific for Arena, but we’ll see.

[luobingmeis]

okay so bc i need to vent and also bc we all know the old song and dance of “jords is unable to vent post anywhere else,” i’m just gonna rant under the cut and i apologize to mobile users if mobile fucks up the read more :/

also i’d appreciate it if this wasn’t reblogged

also also feel free to ignore

i feel like i’ve kinda just officially hit a point in my life where, for the most part, things are not good or, at the very least, stagnant

like, it’s so easy for me to get sad and stressed and it’s, like, almost every day. like, i think the only day that i haven’t gotten down was wednesday bc it was my birthday, but even then, i kinda had to Work On It

and, like, beginning of september, things were alright!! but then, u know, all good things must come to an end

and i feel like i’ve been like this for months but honestly idk (tho, tbh, i think may and june were iffy, july was bad, august was exhausting [i think idk i can’t really remember but i also know parts of august were bad], the first two weeks of september were good, and now things feel consistently bad)

and like. things so easily set me off now?

and i feel tired and a bit sad and stuck and suffocated and, honestly? really lonely, and like it’s my own doing. like, i feel like i’ve just completely isolated myself

and tbh i think that’s why found family tropes always make me a bit sad underneath all the love bc i feel like i dont have that like everyone else does. like i have friends and best friends but i feel like i’ve just been pushing some of my closest friends away bc i rarely have the energy for shit anymore??? like idk, just last weekend, two of my best friends were home and i love them so much but i was so tired and so bad last weekend that, like, within an hour or two, i’d be ready to go home. and i still had fun!!!! but there was a part of me with this underlying exhaustion

and swim is kinda fucking me up bc i do love swimming and i love being on the team but i never want to go to practice anymore and the season only just started and i’m already waiting for january to come and for the season to end which is Bad bc i don’t wanna rush swim season and ik that i love it but i’m just,,,, so tired and unmotivated all the time and idk

and then with schoolwork, i feel like i just can’t do it anymore. i procrastinate on everything that i do. last year, i would be doing homework for hours every day to get everything done early and, last night, i nearly had a breakdown over having to do a discussion post (for readings that i did not do) and almost emailed my teacher at 10pm to ask for an extension

and, like, once i get my work started? i’m going!!! i’m doing it and it’s decent!!!!! but it’s the getting there that sucks, bc it takes me so long now

and i feel so pressured to do well and get a 4.0 again and just do everything perfect but i can barely bring myself to do shit anymore that i just feel like i’m going to let everyone down and people are going to realize really quickly that i can’t do all that i’ve wanted to

also my memory has been so bad lately and like!!! shit’s wild

and my sleep schedule is so fucked and i need to fix it bc i’m getting, like, on average, 5 or 6hrs a night, which isn’t enough for me, but like!!! i can’t get myself to be going to bed before 11 or 12. sometimes it’s bc i don’t want the next day to happen, and sometimes it’s bc i say that i’ll go to bed earlier and then i just don’t

also i have so many fun things coming up in the next week and being excited is so hard. like tm i’m going out for a very nice dinner w/ my parents for my birthday and, in my mind, it’s just like another Task i have to do. i have the taz and mbmbam shows next week and i am excited for those but my stress is currently outweighing my excitement

and like, all in all, things feel so shit rn like it feels like every day i’m making dumb posts like “ahaha time for sad o’clock” or whatever bc i can’t take myself seriously even tho i so badly Want To be taken seriously but!!! idk

like basically i’m at the point where if, like, every single week is like this, idk what i’m gonna do bc i’m not gonna be able to handle that

and also i feel stagnant and stuck and isolated and i feel like it’s all on me but like. idk how to fix that!!

anyways this is my rant post and it’s very embarrassing and i’m sorry if you stuck around to read all of this bc this basically became a pity party for myself bc i can’t talk to the people i care abt in my life abt my issues but i sure can scream into the ether as strangers read on. so, like, yeah.

[critterreads]

The Boy In The Bubble

This is the one i hced after listening to the song once. *cough* Enjoy.

_

"It was 6:48 I was walking home. Stepped to the gate and I’m all alone. I had chicken on the plate but the food was cold. Then I covered up my face so that no one knows I didn’t want trouble. I’m the boy in the bubble. But then came trouble. When my mum walked into the living room. She said boy you gotta tell me what they did to you. I said you don’t wanna know the things that I had to do. She said son you gotta tell me why you’re black and blue. I said I didn’t want trouble. I’m the boy in the bubble. But then came trouble."

Brian was being bullied at school a lot and hated his mom asking questions about it. But although his instincts tell him not to speak, he does anyways.

"And my heart was pumping. Chest was sceaming. Mind was running. Air was freezing. Put my hands up, Put my hands up. I told this kid I’m ready for a fight. Well I squared him up with my chest exposed. He threw a quick left hook and it broke my nose. I had thick red blood running down my clothes and a sick sick look ’cause I like it though. I said I didn’t want trouble. I’m the boy in the bubble. But then came trouble."

His mom just sighs and tells him to clean up before his dad sees him and so he does, even tho it wont make a difference.

It’s 6:48, he’s walking home. With the blood on his hand from my broken nose. But like every other day he was scared to go back to his house because his pop was home drowning his troubles in whiskey bubbles. Just looking for trouble. Well there’s no excuse for the things he did. But there’s a lot at home that he’s dealing with because he’s dad’s been drunk since he was a kid and I hope one day he’ll say to him. "Put down those bubbles and that buckle and this broken bubble. Punch my face, do it ’cause I like the pain. Every time you curse my name I know you want the satisfaction that’s not going to happen. Knock me out, kick me when I’m on the ground. It’s only going to let you down. I’m the lightning and the thunder. You’re the one that suffers."

And he was right. His dad went to jail 3 months after that incident and died in prison. Brian ended up homeless tho because his mom died shortly after his dads death. Always fighting to survive, for money, or food, he didnt care anymore. Because he was the boy in the bubble.

-

When Brian first meets the boiz, he meets Ohm first, because Ohm is homeless at this time.

It starts off as occasionally seeing each other on the streets and giving a lil wave before walking off to seek shelter or find food. But one day as Brian was dumpster diving he felt something tugging at his leg. So looking down at his leg he sees Buddy, so he looks around to see if Ohm was near by but notices he's no where in sight. Buddy starts to trail off but stops before turning the corner to look back at Brian and bark as a signal to follow him.

So as Brian follows Buddy the dog starts to to run like its an emergency. Brian followed the dog to about three blocks and thats when Brian seen Ohm. On the ground curled up, covered in blood and bruises, unconscious.

Brian started freaking out so he grabs Ohm and carries him as he frantically looking for someone or anywhere to get help. As he searched for for people he seen a house with the lights still on, despite it being one in the morning.

He starts knocking repeatedly on the door til someone answers. The door opens and a man in a blue hoodie who looks oddly awake for the hour being. Brian started talking with panic in his voice "Please! He needs help!" The mans eyes widened as he saw Ohm being carried on Brians back and quickly let them in. Del pointed to the couch for Brian to place Ohm and he quickly went to the back of the house to grab Luke.

Luke of course started yelling Del for letting strangers into the house but Brian grabed Luke by the shirts and threatened "So help me that if you dont help him, You're going to regret it!" As he pointed to Ohm on the couch. Luke's heart broke at the sight, so he put his stubbornness down and Del and him began cleaning Ohm up. Brian could only pace back in as they were doing it, he felt so terrible that this happened to Ohm, if Buddy hadn't have came and got him what would be of Ohm now.

After 2 hours of pacing he fell asleep on the floor by the couch with Buddy curled up next to him. Del layed blankets on all of them and Luke gently put a pillow under Brian's head.

Ohm was the first to wake up the next morning, suprized to be in a house, to see two stangers sleeping in a chair, one of them holding a teddy bear. But to see Brian sleep on the floor by his side with Buddy, it brought a smile to his face, he didn't remember much of last night, other than being beat up for being homeless. Brian woke up next, slowly blinking before looking at Ohm.

His face lit up with excitement and quickly hugging him, which woke up the others. Del jumpimg up and looking ready to fight someone while Luke was startled by Dels sudden movements.

Ohm still hugging Brian and asked "Where are we? ... How ... did we get here?" Luke answered. "Well you're in mine and Delirious' house and if it wasn't for your friend here, I don't know where you would be. He carried you here." Ohm looked at Brian and asked "How did you find me tho?"

"If it wasn't for your dog I probably wouldn't have found you, he lead me right to you." He said softly.

"And glad he came here cuz its been f-fucking boring around here!" Del said with positivity.

"Well, since everyone's up, im gonna make breakfast. Who wants pancakes?" Luke said as he walked to the kitchen. Ohm and Brian looked at each other and looked at Luke. "Are you serious?" They said in unison. "Damn right im serious! They're gonna be the best damn pancakes you have ever had!" "The bestest!" Del shouted after Luke's statement.

Brian was happy that he knock on the door last night. Ohm was happy he was found. Both were happy that they were safe and sound. Brian was no longer the boy in the bubble.

~

Ik it isn't in a typical fic format but its 1 in the morning and idk if i would have got this done. Oh welp, i hope u peeps liked it :D

[freakin-edikan]

More Unpopular Smash Onions

I have a lot of Smash Onions and here are most of them in one post. Be warned it’s long and stupid

Bayonetta Should Not Have Been in Smash Ever

The whole point of Bayonetta is that she whips out these crazy combos and super strong witch tricks to defeat her opponents. The only problem is...barely anyone else can do that because they’re not supposed to because it’s Smash Bros and not Street Fighter. There was no way to nerf Bayonetta without ruining her, and there was no way to keep the Bayonetta feel and style without her dominating the game.

Cloud Should Not Have Been in Smash Ever

He was too fast, he was too strong, he had a projectile. Sakurai specifically said he knew Ike had exactly these stats when Ike was added to Brawl in 2008. He intentionally left them out so as to not let Ike become too strong. But years later, Cloud strutted into Super Smash Bros. for Wii U/3DS with these same attributes anyway. He’s a lot more tame now, but how many Peaches had to die?

The Zelda Characters Got the Short End of the Stick

A game with 30 years of history does not deserve to be represented by three Links, two Zeldas, and one Ganondorf. It’s clear that the development team was banking on the games sticking to its Ocarina formula, which is why they tried so hard to keep all the designs from one game and didn’t introduce anyone who wasn’t a Triforce bearer. By the time they finally stumbled on the idea of giving characters designs from different games, they had run out of space for any newcomers specific to particular games in the series, and the potential for new characters had run out.

I’m aware that Zelda isn’t as popular in Japan as it is in the United States; however, seeing how big Super Smash Bros. and its audience is, I think its representation could be a little better than that.

Zelda Got the Short End of the Stick

You mean to tell me it took 17 years for someone to look at that trainwreck of a moveset and finally do something about it? Y’all ugly.

There Doesn’t Need to be 15,897 Marths

If the devs over at Sora Ltd. played their cards right, our Fire Emblem lineup could have consisted of a balance of characters and assist trophies that could show off the most prominent aspects of the series. My idea is this:

Characters

Marth

Ike

Lyn

Robin

Assist Trophies

A Manakete (from any game)

A Pegasus Knight + Triangle Attack (any game but preferably the ones who made it famous—so Palla, Catria, and Est.)

A main villain (person, any game)

A main villain (monster, any game)

Ephraim?

Micaiah.

...and some cute lil spirits/stickers/trophies with some lore or references or something. If you ask me, we got the characters we got because of poor planning. I might not know the ins and outs of the process, but that’s what it looks like to me.

I Am Singling Out Corrin Specifically

This pick feels like an impulse because of the fact that FE14 was new, but besides that, I (a salty Peach main and Bandana Dee fan) first thought the character was busted. Never before had we a character with such ridiculous range—I thought Shulk’s energy sword Sunday was pushing it. It looks like Corrin set a precedent, though, because tall, adult characters who can reach across the entire stage seem to be the norm nowadays.

The Mario Characters are Out of Character

I think it’s telling when you can’t convey the character of Mario properly. Mario in Smash rather quickly moved away from his friendly everyman balancedness to a very aggressive, very angery Man who apparently just beats the living daylights out of people as the Smash Ultimate music blares in the background. Mario in his games is so much more friendly, eccentric, comical, fun. Smash Mario is way too serious; he doesn’t even smile in his renders anymore. I know, it’s a fighting game; you have to be serious to some extent. I just find this a little odd considering, um...

Peach was pretty similar when she first came to Melee. But when Brawl came around, her headbutt was replaced with hearts, her explosions with hearts, her diplomatic walk with a ditzy skip—it’s all incredibly suspicious. I talked about this before, but I think Smash makes Peach look dumb. I feel like it tries too hard to appeal to the girl who couldn’t pick any of the boy characters because they were icky so she picked the prettiest, girliest girl and that’s Peach. Her character feels like it’s making a mockery of her. (I mean, who remembers the tea time? I remember the tea time.) Nearly all of the nuance in Peach’s character is gone; I like the Toads and it feels like she’s commanding an army, but she herself with the rainbows and the hearts...I don’t know. It makes me. Uncomfortable. Peach has displayed far more competence before; she’s a very intelligent individual, but in Smash it’s not showing.

If I thought Peach was bad, imagine how I feel about Daisy! They barely changed a couple of animations and visuals but no attributes. It feels cheap and lazy and even though she’s an echo fighter, other “clones” had at least a little more thought put into them. And no “Hi, I’m Daisy”??? Preposterous. I think it goes to show that you really can’t make a clone of Peach because her moveset is too unique, and tinkering with it makes it fall apart. I think this was a bad call.

Bowser Jr. seems fine. He’s just a kid with some toys and it shows. Bowser...can at least walk straight, nowadays. But...

Luigi Baby I’m So Sorry That a Ugly Ass Bitch Would Even Do That

So when Smash 64 came out in 1999, Luigi had had his own voice for 3 years. Smash had decided to take Mario’s voice clips and pitch them up instead. This didn’t change until Brawl.

Luigi is Mario’s taller, slippery-er, eccentric younger brother, and Smash played the eccentric up to 11. (I mean, who remembers the Negative Zone? I remember the Negative Zone.) The hip bumps? And the weird dances? And the being able to fall over and be so round that he can just roll back up? I’ve never seen him do that anywhere but Smash. I don’t know who that is with the green hat in Smash. But it’s not Luigi.

The great thing is that he plays like Luigi! But he sure doesn’t act like it. And neither does Mario. And Mario and Luigi don’t play off each other at all, either. They’re so awkward to put together in this game; it’s like an attack on the sibling family unit.

We Don’t Stan Rosalina

We don’t stan her

“We Made Up Lore About EarthBound Hoping No One Would Notice Also We Really Like Pollyanna and the First Eight Melodies and We Exclusively Reference Mother 1 But We Still Won’t Put Ninten in This Game”

Ness is supposed to have defensive and support PSI because he has the highest physical offensive stats—and the lowest IQ—in EarthBound. He can’t use PK Starstorm, or PK Fire, or PK Thunder. He can use PSI Shield and Brainshock and Paralysis and um, PSI Rockin, and though I don’t mind using Ness and Lucas as they are now, I still can’t help but notice how inaccuracy-laden all the EarthBound references were, and that a moveset focused around trapping an opponent to go in for the beat down intrigues me.

Listen, no one else in this game has made-up lore about how their friends taught them certain moves after the end of their game, and how they channeled their big finisher into smaller bursts of energy while taking on the friend’s (much weaker!) signature move as their Final Smash. You could probably explain the magic Zelda uses as they come in crystals anyone could theoretically use, but the framing that they use for Ness and Lucas? It’s pretty silly.

Okay, about Ninten...he doesn’t have to be in Smash. But what’s the point of saying “Mother (Series)” and then making this weird conglomerate of ideas that doesn’t actually get the point across? All three games communicate very different ideas, but hardly any of what’s in Smash portrays any of it very well.

Where’s Bandana Dee

Where is he

Realistic Guns

Joker is about to enter this game with a literal fucking glock and I’m not okay

Final Smashes is the Same

It’s either a Mega Laser, a Giant Stage Hazard, a I’m Gonna Just Ram Into You Like Nobody’s Business, or a Barage of Attacks With One Final Hit. For all the crap I give Peach’s Final Smash, at least it’s different. Oh, there’s a new kind now: the We Stole Snake’s After We Thought He Was Never Coming Back And Oh God He’s Here. Oh No He’s Back. He’s Angry Oh N-

Kirby and Jigglypuff

They haven’t been great for years! I want them back to being good again.

Okay so Jigglypuff was OD’ing in Melee. But insta-death shield break just doesn’t tell me you care about them!

Speaking of Caring About Kirby

I see y’all only putting Kirby’s Adventure and Kirby Super Star content in your game. Look, whoever made Kirby 64 and friends disappeared the same year Sakurai left HAL Laboratory. The new Kirby games acknowledge all of Kirby’s history, and they take many cues from Smash. Smash is a big game, but the least it could do was reciprocate some of that.

The Music Selection is Underwhelming Me So Far

And it’s not the sheer number; I think that’s incredible. My problem is many of the songs are remixes with multiple versions. There are multiple versions of Light Plane from Pilotwings, multiple versions of Magicant, multiple Ballads of the Goddess, a billion Mario Main Themes. There are so many different musicians arranging for these games; are they all sitting there thinking “I’ll do you one better!!” making the same songs again? Some series have one song being remixed over and over while the rest of the soundtrack is just ripped from the original and chucked into the game. Other songs are just weak, which I expect, but they’re just so...mild.

The original music in Smash Ultimate I think is also pretty weak. It’s the same problem Brawl ran into and the only difference is the Ultimate themes are better orchestrated. The arrangement became stale to me and I think it’s because the game is so big that it couldn’t tie itself together as neatly as Smash 64 could (although only one, maybe two people worked on Smash 64’s music).

Stage Hazards

I don’t remember if it’s possible to turn them off but I am tired of the goddamn Flying Man.

So I think that’s about it. Thanks for reading and on the off chance that someone responds to it, you don’t have to go through the entire thing just to pick it apart bit by bit, I don’t want anyone to have to slog through that unless they want to, I guess. Happy New Year!

[konoha-hoe]

🌺🌸🌺Being Madara's favorite student headcanons?

I TOOK FOREVER TO POST IK I’M SO SORRY

 sooo i’m getting hit by Hurricane Irma today, that’s great :) I kinda went on a little break because i’ve been trying to prepare and I’ve been helping my old neighbors board up windows and fill sandbags. Again I’m super sorry I’ve just had zero free time lately, but if I spam till the power goes out will that make up for things?

Being Madara’s Favorite Student Headcannons

Madara would probably just be a bigger asshole than usual tbh since you’re his favorite student and he has higher expectations, which were already pretty high to begin with

During training sessions he’s going to make sure you leave an hour later than the rest of your team and completely exhausted, having made you work ten times harder than everybody else.

Also I can picture him constantly challenging you to sparring matches? He’s a bit like a child in the sense that he always wants to check on your rate of improvement. Expect to be almost unable to walk by the end of each one though, he’s not gonna go easy on you

During missions Madara would make sure to assign you extra or more difficult responsibilities, like staying up for an extra watch shift when you decide to make camp at night or letting you lead the group regardless of whoever else is in it.

It’s just his way of trying to make sure you become an exceptional shinobi, even if it might feel like he actually just hates you 99.9% of the time.

Don’t complain about anything. Ever. He’s just gonna work you until your body literally gives out bc you can’t take anymore, then carry you home and repeat the process the next day

Since he isn’t really the type to take his students out or anything, the chances of a romantic relationship developing are pretty slim (and that’s only if you’re not a minor).

The only alone time you’d really get to spend with him would be your one on one training sessions, and that just might be an opportunity, but he tends to take training seriously so he’d probably just brush off any advances you make. If he’s attracted to you he may entertain the idea of a relationship, but it most likely won’t go anywhere. Overall just a dead end, don’t try it.

[fandom-geek]

byakatosh replied to your post “[[MOR] nothing reminds me of why i don’t go into general non-fandom...”

jfc man what thw absolute FUCK -

(so uh this turned into a bit of a rant/vent lol)

honestly idk even anymore?? i'm avoiding the word discourse like the plague bc lbr it’s basically the new problematic in terms of meaninglessness (esp since there are v legit problems with fandom, like literal racism and shit, but the mere existence of shipping isn’t rapey or any of that shit), but just. how?? why?? do these ppl only read fanfic and never pick up a published book?? esp since the character they were talking abt is anywhere from 14 to 16, i mean honestly....

tbh i’m so absolutely bored and fed up w all this stuff my first reaction was just flat out confusion. like ik a lot of those posts tend to start w “i’m a minor so listen to me”, but like. adults were kids too once. are we not allowed to write abt our crushes, or acknowledge that kids can very much have romantic (and sexual) attraction, or anything? can a seventeen year old start writing a fic abt under-18s having crushes on each other but the second they turn eighteen they have to abandon it bc now they’re suddenly a paedo?? like as someone who is only a few years into adulthood, it feels like this bs is one step away from “adults can’t write child characters at all” which a few years ago would’ve felt like a massive exaggeration but given where this shit was a few years ago versus now, it really doesn’t

like just where are the boundaries drawn w this incredibly vague rhetoric that’s purely based on surface feelings of discomfort instead of actually interrogating what abt a certain fic might make you uncomfortable?? maybe3 acknowledging that hey, if you’re old enough to be reading this stuff you’re old enough to know what you like, and you’re definitely old enough to know how to use filters, maybe you should try and avoid material that you know you’ll find uncomfortable, or if you read smth and it’s uncomfortable then just.... close the tab?

as an example, i fucking hate the very existence of kylo ren in 99% of star wars media and 100% of reylo, so i’ve both followed blogs that don’t really give a shit abt him plus i’ve blacklisted all his tags both through (since that can blacklist based on op’s tags, which is super useful for reylo lol). but at the same time i acknowledge that’s fully my responsibility and while i’ve rbed a fair amount of posts poking fun at him as a character, i’m not gonna go out of my way to shit on ppl who do like him bc they might see (and usually do lol) a very different character than i do

just... urgh. i feel like ppl aren’t even trying to hide the fact this is literally puritanism dressed up in tumblr leftist rhetoric, and i’m just so tired of it, but it’s so bloody cultlike i don’t expect it to go anyway any time soon, un-fucking-fortunately