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#Im always about to go to sleep but then one of those go on live and I feel the need to record and upload it here
momos-servants · 8 months
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One minute live from Ian Ousley (Sokka) and guest star Dallas Liu (Zuko)
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invisibleoctopus · 1 year
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starting to think im a bard of void instead of being a knowledge class. i have the whole bardic crisis thing (oct 13 2013. sunday) the whole opposite aspect thing before that (Gifted Kid TM where part of my personality was bring smart. is very lightcore) and just how i seem to destroy everything i touch.
my aversion to lying and how terrible i am at it because its on a physical level in my body and i have to script it in advance (yes this is mostly autism) and not liking to keep secrets and being a blabbermouth. destroying void.
destroyed by void. getting FADED with weed. self isolation and most of my time being spent gaming or on the computer/phone. my awful terrible recurring dreams (dreams are void) that i have a fucking tag for. but the horrors have become almost mundane with how repetitive they are in my dreams and thats why i dont call them nightmares
#le p2iigh#the 'this classpect perfectly describes all my flaws' type of classpecter#no but my dreams are always like. im in school and i dont know why they wont let me drop out.#dont know if its college or What. but sometimes my former therapist is there. the one i had a crush on.#thats a thing i have with male mentor/teacher figures because of a Very Specifc Reason#other things that are always in my dreams. my dorm on the 3rd floor im always trying to figure out what clothes to wear whats clean#packing so i can go to the house that im living at that is specifically not home. wondering when i can go home to check on the cats#wondering why home looks so different its almost unrecognizable. my uncle is there. always. mom always has something Wrong with her#things being on fire near wherever im staying like next door across the street. most recently like the whole neighborhood.#not beating the doom player allegations with these descriptions.#heres more void coded things abt the dreams. being in/around bodies of water. theres one particular river i go to a lot its past some woods#the woods area separates the river and i walk upstream until i come across the widest part and the initial fork#theres always various Creatures in the water that im scared of.#this happens whenever im on the coast and in the ocean too. except sometimes theres stuff that wants to eat me#and thats not counting the kinnie dreams. either its ocean stuff that reminds me of being link.#or its like. i guess side order levels or something. and also more cursed than usual salmon run. on cursed stages. eels chasing me#(obvoiusly the agent 8 kinnie dreams)#my real life anxieties about the cat litter and taking a shower meaning i dream about having to do those things.#trying to find a place to lie down and sleep that feels comfortable for me but its impossible#thats. most of the recurring things in my dreams. my brain is tired and i interrupted myself doing Tasks for this.#i didnt expect to ramble about the recurring nature of all of these dream things. and obviously the tag is going here#adventures in losap#< the dream tag
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gay-fordeath · 1 month
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#dont call anyone im safe im fine im just venting. tw for suicide/self harm/kind of intense language. ideally no ones reading this tho#bro i cant keep living like this#i dread waking up every day so much that i dread even falling asleep#i got insomnia medication in my system and my brain is still like nope absolutely not#i cant keep up at my job even when i am rested enough#i get headaches every other day#my instant mental reaction in the face of stress is to hurt myself (i have not)#like fuck. i work for the disability department of an insurance company#i know for a fact that (probably) every contract stipulates we wont cover disabilities as a result of self inflicted injuries#which is supposed to prevent ppl from taking advantage of the system or whatever#and im always like if someone goes to the lengths of actively injuring themselves to the point of disability#in the name of 'getting out of work'#that person is not 'taking advantage of the system' THAT PERSON IS FUCKING MENTALLY ILL#AND I WOULD KNOW BC I AM ONE OF THOSE PPL#do not come for me on some shit about wanting to disable yourself being morally questionable i cant be concerned abt that rn#i gotta focus on the fact that i hate my life so much id rather break my own right hand than continue it#its an improvement from the active suicidal ideation but its still a symptom of the passive ideation#fucking hell. im too self aware so i absolutely feel like im faking it or making shit up so i can be lazy and not work and whatever#but FUCKING CHRIST theres no way. if i had a choice i wouldnt let myself feel like this.#i just got to a point where i can live alone and support myself. i was so happy and so proud of myself. I don't want to lose that#but god every phone call i have to make for work makes me want to hurt myself. every early morning (and there arent many!!! i mostly work#from home!!!) makes me wish i was dead. i have to sleep for hours after work more often than not. i cant really maintain my living space#theres fucking. mold and discoloration and shit on a bunch of my clothes and some of my bags and shit!!#cause i cant fucking keep my room clean and my basement apartment got fucking humid over the summer and so much moisture got trapped#i constantly have dirty dishes getting moldy before i get to them#i just dont have the fucking energy. i want to take better care of my space. i want to be more social. i just want to go to sleep without#fucking dreading waking up. i wanna go a full week without a headache. i want my stress response to be something other than the intense and#overwhelming desire to cut myself. if i start again i dont know if ill be able to stop and i know i wont be able to keep it to my arms/legs/#easily hidden parts of my body. last breakdown i escalated to my face and i know ill pick up from there.#fuck
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weeknd-ogoc · 3 months
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LOOK AFTER YOU ✩ MAX VERSTAPPEN
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SUMMARY: in which max and you have always found it really hard to move on from each other.
(inspired by the fray's song, look after you.)
FACE CLAIM: cindy kimberly
CONTAINS: reader!alonso, spanish!reader, angst due to past memories of your relationship with max, emotional cheating, use of y/n, could possibly trigger your daddy issues lols & kind of right person, wrong time trope!
AUTHOR'S NOTE: kinda felt like i rushed it and didn't go the way i wanted idk lol but hope you guys like it anyways! also i'm close to 1k followers, you guys are truly the best & ilysm !! 😭
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yn_alonso
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liked by fernandoalo_oficial, lance_stroll and 1,386,543 others
yn_alonso as my father says class not ass 🎀 #26
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fernandoalo_oficial mi nina bonita, te queiro mucho 🥹🥹
yn.alonso i love you pa 🥹💓
username i aspire to be y/n when i grow up
username ate as usual, happy birthdayyy!
landonorris TAKE ME IM READY
yn.alonso lan please 😭😭 fernandoalo_oficial norris, i'll see you soon. username oop her dad is going to go after you
alexandrasaintmleux I LUV YOU BAE
yn.alonso I LUV UUU charlesleclerc 🧐🧐
username ah i love it happy birthday! 🥳
lilymhe 26 has never looked so good!!
lance_stroll 😍
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maxverstappen1 happy birthday! 🎈
yn.alonso thank youu! 💘 username lmaoo someone go check on kelly!!
posted on may 27th, 2023
ever since you were born your father had been super protective over you, even at your grown age he was still meddling in your life whenever he possibly could but you couldn't complain about it because you liked to meddle in his life just as much too.
"if you don't quit eating that burrito..." you told your father as you took the burrito out of his hands just for him to snatch it back. "you're going to stink up my kitchen."
he rolled his eyes and put the burrito down. "which i paid for so technically speaking this is my kitchen too."
now here you were in paris on a date that your father had set up for you and on the phone with him.
"i'm with lance right now at an ice cream shop." you told your father through the phone while lance was picking at your ice cream cone. "no, lance is driving us."
he chuckled when you passed your phone towards to him and he put it up to his ear for a few seconds before speaking. "yes sir, i will drive carefully and she will be back in her house by eight."
once the conversation was done he handed your phone back. "he said i better be sleeping in the guest room and that he would see us tomorrow morning."
had it been any other guy, your father would've definitely flew out just to spy on the two of you but he actually liked lance and encouraged you to hang out with him — except the both of you only liked each other as friends so lance covered for you when you had dates with someone.
just a few years back your father pushed a few boys out of your lives due to them not being the correct fit for you.
"dad it's not fair, it's just one date!" you remembered your seventeen self yell at your dad. "max is a good guy and he even asked you for permis-"
he shook his head. "i don't care what he did, i am your father and you do as i say!"
then there was the time when you were twenty-two, there was pictures circulating of charles leclerc taking you out for dinner and also a video of him leaving your hotel room the next morning.
"you can do better than charles, he doesn't know how to settle down and that's not the type of guy you need in your life!" your father ended up calling you as soon as he saw those pictures. "i liked max better."
maxverstappen1
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maxverstappen1 happy 22nd birthday to my baby! ❤️
tagged: yn_alonso
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username mi mama y papa 🥹
username enjoy your day y/n!!
yn_alonso i love you 😚
maxverstappen1 i love you more ❤️
username why are they actually the cutest i'm cryinggg
fernandoalo_oficial look after her tonight, see you guys tomorrow!
maxverstappen1 always!
username 🎂
kellypiquet my favs, happy birthday y/n!
posted on may 27th, 2020
max looked back at an old post he had posted for your birthday back when you guys were still together.
everyone loved you, your dad had been in formula one for the longest time so everyone basically saw you grow up but nobody knew you the way he had grown to know you — the two of you had been broken up for a few years now but remained friends, only greeting each other once in awhile whenever you guys had to.
"i don't understand why you haven't deleted your pictures with her." his now girlfriend, kelly told him. "we already take car of her ca-"
"it's our cat." max corrected. "so it is my responsibly to watch her just as much as it is hers."
during the short time that you guys had moved in with each other in 2020, he had gifted you a siamese cat and named her saturn which the both of you now co-parented for.
he had been playing with penelope when she rushed into the room talking about the comment he left on your post. "whose y/n?" penelope asked as she passed a tea cup over to max.
kelly let out a huff and sat down with them. "nobody important."
you were still important to him.
he had began liking you in his first year of formula one and you obviously liked him but it had been complicated to even see each other due to your dad being so overprotective over you.
"i really don't think we should sneak around..." max quietly advised as you pulled him into your hotel room but as soon as your lips reached his he changed his mind and just at eighteen years old, he did not really get how to do this boyfriend thing since you're the first girl he had ever taken seriously but he quickly learned because you had began to feel like home to him.
"her dad is a cool guy but when it comes to her he is kinda scary." daniel ricciardo told him as they walked to an interview. "better hope he doesn't find out."
max at the time thought you guys would not get caught — aside from your father not wanting him to see you, his father also didn't particularly like you because he believed you were getting in the way of his racing. "forget about seeing that little girl, you're not about to let some girl ruin your career that i helped you prepare for." he remembered his father telling him after seeing you guys kiss and max dragging you into his hotel room earlier that day.
you of coarse had been in the bathroom hiding, listening to their conversation and max was trying to defend his relationship with you but his father was not having it.
so it wasn't long before you heard a smack and his dad telling him he better not see you around again then max was saying everything his father wanted to hear to finally get him out of his room and be back with you.
as you heard the door close, you heard something being thrown at the door and you slowly walked out of the bathroom to see some tears coming out of max's face. "i swear i hate him!"
you had gone to wipe the tears off his face and as you hugged him, you saw the glass cup that was thrown at the door. "it's okay baby..."
in that moment max realized that every time he was losing his control and felt like the city was spinning around, you were the only one who knew how to slow it down.
"i mean we just won't get caught next time." you gave him a halfhearted smile while wrapping your arms around him while he nodded hugging you even tighter.
but during the last race of his first year your father had caught you guys after following daniel who was trying to cover for you guys.
fernandoalo_oficial
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fernandoalo_oficial i wanted to wish my little (not so little anymore) girl a happy birthday! i had you at only seventeen years old and it has been you and me since the very beginning, i wish i could go back in time to see you as a little girl one more time but those are powers i have yet to figure out. #26
feliz cumpleaños mi niña bonita 💛🌻
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username crying in daddy issues
yn_alonso pa i'm crying! te amo mucho!! 💛 (i love you so much)
fernandoalo_oficial i love you more!
username my dad could never
username does she want a step mother???
yn_alonso uh no i don't 🤺
mclaren happy birthday y/n!!
liked by yn_alonso, fernandoalo_oficial
username what! i remember when she was 6 first entering the paddock!
username not max in the likes!!
username well they're friends lol
username she's so beautiful 😭
astonmartinf1 happiest birthday to our favorite girl!!
liked by yn_alonso, fernandoalo_oficial
posted on may 27th, 2023
everyone knew fernando's daughter meant the world to him.
as a single teenage father he remembered the moment he first laid eyes on you, he had wanted to quit racing because he knew his career was time consuming and he wouldn't be able to give you all the time in the world.
"no puedes, fórmula uno siempre ha sido tu prioridad número u-" (you can't, formula one has always been your number one priority)
fernando shook his head as he looked towards your crib, you were only a few weeks old and had just fallen asleep after about an hour of fussing. "ella es mi primera prioridad ahora." (she's my first priority now)
it took a good while before your grandparents could get him to continue doing what he had always loved doing and when he finally entered formula one, he had decided to bring you along to wherever his races were just so he could make time to spend with you — of coarse his mother could not stay away from her only granddaughter so she tagged along.
at eight years old, his little girl was beginning to do as she pleases.
"y/n, no more cand-" your father stopped as he saw you opening up the chocolate wrapper with a smile. "you better no-" you had finally bit into your snicker bar and gave him another toothy smile that he adored. "after that one, you better not have another."
you nodded and ran off with schumacher's kids, later splitting another chocolate bar with mick.
"crees que tengo algo de qué preocuparme?" he asked referring to what he was currently seeing, he watched mick and you chasing each other around. (do you think i have something to worry about?)
his mother chuckled and shook her head. "nando, solo son niños."(nando, they're just kids.)
at thirteen years old, he was trying everything in his power to make sure you stayed his little girl.
"no, find another dress that goes down below your knees." your father told you and continued going through the other dresses.
you shook your head and tried on another dress that you somewhat liked.
"now that's beautiful!" he nodded his head to the dress.
you gave your grandmother a look but she shrugged and you groaned. "papá, me gustó mucho el otro vestido!" (dad, i really liked the other dress!)
so after bickering back and forth about the dress, you had won and your father was now paying for the two hundred dollar dress and whatever else you had him holding throughout the store.
at sixteen years old, he had finally started seeing you as a beautiful young women and not his baby girl.
"escúchame..." he began and dangled the keys to your brand new car that he had just bought you in front of your face. "you will drive carefully! no listening to music too loud, no texting or calling and i want to know where you are every hour." (listen to me)
you nodded and kissed his cheek. "yes pa, thank you so much!"
"and no boys in the car!" he sighed and gave you the keys to the car. "i really wish you had failed your drivers test again."
at eighteen years old, he was now beginning to worry about the growing friendship you had going on with max verstappen who was on his first year in formula one so he had his eyes on the both of you at all times.
"have you seen y/n?" your father asked people around the paddock and they all shook their heads. "i swear when i find her..."
being the horny teenagers that you guys were at the time, the both of you had finally found a spot where nobody was around and he had gently kissed you but before the kiss could get any further there was someone who cleared their throat.
"your dad is looking for you..." daniel ricciardo said as he gave the both of you a look. "i sent him back into the mclaren garage so you have a few minutes to wrap this up before he figures out you're not there."
there was another person clearing their throat and all three of you turned the other direction where your father stood with an angry face. "hi pa." you mumbled as you walked into his direction and he looked at max who was walking towards daniel's direction.
"i won't tell you again to leave my daughter alone."
at nineteen years old, he had a received a phone call that every parent had dreaded to ever hear.
"i'm sorry pa, the car just drove past us and i did-" you cried as he carefully hugged you.
you had been celebrating your birthday with max verstappen and lance stroll, who you had befriended this year when he joined formula one — you had been driving when you hit another car leaving you in a neck brace, max with a sprained wrist and since lance was in the back he just had a few scratches but nothing too serious.
"shh, estas bien..." (you're okay)
even though you were now nineteen and officially dating max for a few months now, as usual had made sure it was fine with your dad that you guys would be going out together and after another talk about keeping his daughter safe, he allowed you to go out with him and lance.
"i'm scared..." lance whispered to max just before entering your hospital room.
max nodded but he knew he was going to probably get it worse from your father since it was his responsibly to always look after you. "me too, he's going to kill me."
just before they entered the room they heard you apologizing to your father about getting the car crashed and that you'd pay him back but he shook his head. "the car can be replaced y/n but you can not be replaced, do you understand that? when max called me about you being here i swear my heart dropped and i couldn't even think clearly." he kissed the top of your head. "i'm glad that you are okay."
yn_alonso
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yn_alonso so we both had a little hangover this morning but he placed second anyways, proudest of you! 💚
tagged: fernandoalo_oficial and astonmartinf1
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username BEST FATHER AND DRIVER
yn_alonso amen
username the cameraman had it out for you today
yn_alonso YES he were trying to catch me throw up in my little bucket i brought.
landonorris a king, congrats on p2 my father in law! 💚
fernandoalo_oficial oh shut up lando but thank you. yn_alonso 😭😭
username 🏆💚
username was it weird seeing your ex boyfriend on the podium with your dad?
username the real question was it weird seeing kelly after all the drama last year? 😂😂 username i'm new to f1 what was the drama??? username some video got posted during the fia prize giving ceremony a few months back showing kelly telling max not to speak to y/n username omg did you see the video of max going to hug y/n and fernando today? 🤭
posted on may 28th, 2023
your father had invited max to the party he was secretly throwing that same night — he never had anything against max and he even still considered max part of the family so it wasn't awkward when max gladly accepted to go.
"a party for y/n? you are kidding right?" kelly asked as she saw max getting nicely dressed, it took her a good convincing to get him out of his usual red bull shirts so him wanting to look nice for this event was weird to her.
he applied his cologne and shrugged. "it's also for fernando so you can come kells if you really want to."
"they're not even your fami-" she shook her head with a small smile, after all max never gave her a reason to believe he couldn't be trusted. "i'll wait for you here."
so a few hours into the party he had found himself sitting outside on the porch with you and saturn on his lap. the two of you clearly had a bit much to drink since you guys were giggling a little too much causing people to look at the two of you whenever they walked by.
"twenty bucks they'll get back together by the end of this year." george whispered to his friends as they walked by for the fifth time in twenty minutes.
"thirty if they hook up tonight." alex then said.
"as if kelly would let that man go." lando responded with a laugh.
somehow you guys always ended up together at times like these or at least whenever kelly was not around, max really enjoyed these moments with you because it just reminded him of his past self with you.
"i need to go pee, come with me." you giggled as you dragged him with you but let him stay outside the door waiting for you.
he knew the two of you were perfect for each other but the two of you had constantly broken up and gotten back together so when kelly came around you had just broken up with him and he was looking for a quick fling — the morning after he had seen pictures of you and charles at the same hotel so he thought maybe you were looking for a quick fling also.
you guys had gotten back together a few weeks after and months after that, everything was going well between you guys so that was when he got you saturn as a gift also buying a shiny ring for you.
"of course i give you my blessing max!" your father told him giving him a hug. "took you long enough to finally propose to my little girl."
weeks later he had everything set up to propose to you but it was quickly ruined when kelly had been looking for him and even showed up to the apartment you guys shared.
"look my dad is waiting for me, let's just get this over with so just say what i know what you're about to say." he remembered you telling him with tears in your eyes.
you guys had plenty of breakups in the past but somehow this one felt different. "i'm not cheating on you if that is what you think."
you scoffed. "so where have you been the past few days? why is she looking for you at our apartment?"
just say it now max.
before he could continue thinking about how your last breakup went, you had came out the bathroom and held the back of your skirt.
"the zipper is stuck." you said turning around, letting him see the back of your skirt. "help?"
as he helped zip up your skirt, the three musketeers were giggling like little kids at what they were seeing and alex put his hand up for the money he was owed but quickly put it down at the next thing they saw.
you thanked him for helping you and he nodded. "it's my job to look after you." he quietly said as he finished zipping up your skirt, you had been looking through the mirror in front of you and seen the looks he was giving you.
"i'm glad you still wear the necklace..." max told you with his hand on your zipper then going to wrap his arms around your waist, resting his chin on the top of your head now looking at you through the mirror. "i would still be wearing the bracelet you gave me if it wasn't fo-"
"kelly." you nodded and just before you could shake him off.
he quickly shook his head and turned you around. "the chain broke and i haven't replaced it, would've fixed it sooner if i knew you still wore your necklace."
the two of you stayed looking into each others eyes and before anything else could happen your father walked in.
"i'm looking for my granddaughter!" he said and luckily for you guys he had been a bit tipsy he didn't realize how close you guys were. "ah there she is, hello guys we're cutting the cake c'mon!" he took saturn off one of the chairs she was resting on and quickly walked off.
even though your father hadn't seen that interaction there were the three men who did and were trying to decided who owed what to who.
yn_alonso
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yn_alonso 🤫
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fernandoalo_oficial delete this immediately
yn_alonso no 🥰
username ooh who are you looking at??
username who took the picture is the real question
username i'm ynsexual
username our girl is in love!!!!
fernandoalo_oficial no she's not
username i'd do whatever 🧎🏾‍♂️
landonorris she was looking at me
maxfewtrell i can confirm fernandoalo_oficial it's no times for jokes landonorris oh sorry father-in-law, see you at dinner.
username not her dad trying to do damage control and lando messing with him 🤭
username i hope it's lando he's always in her comments
username they'd be the IT couple!! username i dont think so cause he has said before that it's just for laughs, he loves seeing her dad get mad.
username she had a past relationship with max so could it be them?
username max and her are my endgame username don't forget about granny kelly
lance_stroll pretty girl 🤍
liked by yn_alonso
username whoever it is will be the public's enemy 😭
posted on may 29th, 2023
max had found himself panicking on the inside when he saw your name pop up on his phone for the second time today while he was streaming on twitch — the two of you never called each other so he worried for a second right before penelope came to the room to hug him.
"hey p." he quickly flipped his phone over when he heard other footsteps follow along.
username: lmao why does he look so nervous?
username: is he still wearing the pants from last night?
username: he said he just got back home so possibly
username: penelope is adorable 😭
username: that was y/n calling him!!!
username: oh here comes granny kelly
obviously nothing happened last night with you, he left shortly after they cut your cake without saying bye to you and he ended up crashing at charles's place but the way everyone was assuming it was him who took your most recent picture on instagram, kelly was a bit annoyed with him.
"y/n called, she said she's taking the cat to the vet because she was sleeping all morning and suddenly woke up to throw up or something like that."
"oh no! will saturn be okay?" penelope asked looking over to max which he nodded in response and assured her the cat would be fine.
he let everyone on his stream know he had to go due to a family emergency and quickly got ready to go.
just before he could leave kelly was still going on about last night. "you just got back home and you're leaving again? over that stupid cat? over that whor-"
"watch it." he quickly turned over to face her giving her a look. "i already told you that i crashed at charles's and had it been one of our cats i would've booked a flight home as soon as i could."
"but you are always putting her first.." he began walking towards the door but she blocked it with her arms crossed. "if you leave to go see her, i hope she lets you stay at her house because you will not be welcomed here anymore."
yn_alonso
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yn_alonso for everyone who was concerned, saturn is doing much better! turns out she is pregnant and will be making max and i grandparents! 👵🏼💓
tagged: maxverstappen1
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fernandoalo_oficial upgraded to great grandfather! 👴🏼👍🏼
username i know those kittens will be spoiled just as much as she spoils saturn 😭
username imagine fernando? he's going to go crazy buying them things!
lilymhe ahh i told you!!
yn_alonso would've saved me a lot of money if i just listened to you lmaoo 🥲 alex_albon as if it actually hurt your bank account 😒 yn_alonso ugh you're such a hater, get out of here!!
username omg congrats saturn!!
username max is going to be a grandpa!!
posted on april 3, 2023
you flicked max's forhead as soon as he arrived to your apartment and before he could even ask why you just did that, you were already carefully swooping saturn into your arms. "she only hangs around your cats so it's your fault this happened to her!"
in that moment max already figured out what had happened because his mind went back to finding saturn being real cozy with one of his cats one time.
"in my defen- ow!" you had just flicked him again and placed saturn back down onto your couch just to hit him with a pillow.
he stopped the next hit and he chuckled as he threw it at you. "she'll live but yes i'm sorry i should've told you when i saw them getting close."
so to keep you calm he did what he always did back when you guys were together and you were a bit mad with him, ordered your favorite kind of pizza and put on one of your shows you like to rewatch every now and then.
before the both of you knew it the sun had gone down and you wondered why he stayed as long as he did this time, he would never stay more than an hour.
"well i'll take these to sink..." you quietly said once you felt his head rest on your shoulder meaning he was starting to fall asleep. "i can bring you a blanket if you'd like or?"
"i can wash them." he shook his head and stood up, grabbing the plates from your hand. "but i do want to finish this episode with you so bring the blanket."
you nodded going into your room and grabbed one of the many blankets you had on your bed.
this was starting to remind you of every time you guys broke up, he'd show up buy you the pizza and watch the shows he swore up and down he hated then he'd somehow swoop you off your feet.
the both of you guys had always tried seeing other people in the short time you guys were broke up but it never worked and it resulted in finding your way back to each other — but the both of you had been broken up for three years now so you just always figured there was no chance of getting back together since he was now with kelly and he seemed genuinely happy.
when you brought back the blanket max was already laying down on the couch and just as you were about to hand it to him, he pulled you onto him and you tried getting up but he held onto you. "max, you can't do this to kelly..."
"she kicked me out, it's done."
even though you still felt a bit wrong about this whole situation, your arms wrapped around his neck and hid your head into the crook of his neck.
you had missed this feeling.
"you don't understand how much i missed you baby..." he found this as an opportunity to hug you tighter and place a kiss onto the side of your head. "i should've never let you leave me in the first place."
you groaned hearing those words and he chuckled. "it was a pretty dumb decision."
you guys were now locking eyes and he wanted to kiss you but he stopped himself before he could. "i want you to know this isn't a rebound thing, i want to make this work with you but for real this time. no more breakups."
"no more breakups." you repeated his words with a little nod. "but we're taking this slow max so no kissing right now."
he groaned and sighed. "fine but stay here with me so i can look after you."
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liked by yn_alonso, charlesleclerc and 2,983,009 others
maxverstappen1 good way to end the month!
tagged: yn_alonso
comments limited
yn_alonso te amooo ❤️
maxverstappen1 te amo more ❤️
username bro is literally winning in life 🧍🏻‍♀️
landonorris i am up for adoption (just in case)
yn_alonso sorry we don't take in strays 🙂
georgerussell63 please just get married already
alex_albon ^^ i agree maxverstappen1 trust me, i'm working on it.
username NEVER break up again! 😭
username this was not very girls girl of her.
fernandoalo_oficial nobody is as happy as i am right now! 🥲
liked by yn_alonso & maxverstappen1
username ah more kitties!!!
kellypiquet wow alright.
username grandma is that you? 😂😂
username FINALLY!
posted on march 2, 2024
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𝐦𝐲 𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭!
© 𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐤𝐧𝐝-𝐨𝐠𝐨𝐜 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒. 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐦𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐲, 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭, 𝐨𝐫 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐳𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤.
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thatsdemko · 2 months
Text
inexperienced? - o.piastri
masterlist | pairing: Oscar piastri x Norris!fem!reader. summary: in which a little joke takes a hit on you, and you prove to your brother that you do in fact, get it. warnings: mentions of sex + 18+ content + some soft fluff a/n: I’m back! so so happy to have something out xx ps please don’t do this I’m sure that this wouldn’t go so well with your family xx
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your cheeks are a deep red hot and you’re sure the moisture forming on the back of your neck is from the sheer embarrassment right now.
“what?” Lando laughs, your sisters cracking up alongside him, “I’m sure the only thing those two do is vanilla at this point, we don’t have to worry about osc and y/n ever having a kid.” the laughter that spews out of him brings tears in his eyes but only brings you embarrassment as you sink further into your seat.
the conversation deterred rather quickly. it was a family dinner—a rare one to be specific—where your mother announced she’d found a few gynecologists for you to visit if you were to continue to see Oscar. Lando busted into a fit of laughter that you were sure he’d choke if he didn’t stop.
it wasn’t that you and Oscar weren’t exploring each other— because that would be a lie you definitely were, but you were taking your time. Oscar was your first serious boyfriend, and he was very serious about making sure you were comfortable with whatever were to come next.
“I’m sure osc has never even had sex. he’s got an innocence to him.” your sister snickers, but your mind is playing all the dirty moments it can of Oscar being nothing but innocent.
he was shy, always had been and even when it came to bedroom activities. you both never pushed each other beyond what you wanted and it was always sweet how nervous he got. it was like you weren’t alone in the first timers pool.
“do you guys do anything like that?” lando asks out of sheer curiosity, but he doesn’t realize you’d left the table. you’d snuck out of the laughing fits and into the living room far away from them.
“oh y/n! we are joking!” your sister hollers from the other room, “give us all the piastri babies in the world!”
“that really happened?” Oscar’s voice is hoarse in your ear. his heartbeat pounding against your shoulder, you can hear his uneven breathing pattern as his pushes himself against you.
“it was so embarrassing.” you grumble as you turn into his body and allow him to hold you like he always does.
“what did lando say? all we do is vanilla?”
“he knows im a virgin.” you reply in your brothers defense, and while you have no previous context of what vanilla is, you’d say that these activities you both do were far from that.
“not anymore are you.” Oscar reminds you with a nibble on your earlobe, “it doesn’t grow back, once it’s gone, it’s gone.”
your body shivers against him, “I don’t think it counts if I come in the first thrust.”
“it does count, but we can work on that.”
your first time was special. after many months of working on trust and definitely not laughing at each other in awkwardness, he finally set up candles and rose petals around his apartment. he did whatever he could to make you comfortable, and that night will probably be etched in your brain forever.
you practically floated home that evening and that next evening your mother laid down the recommended gynecologists at the dinner table. she knew you’d done it, it didn’t take a rocket scientist to notice the hickeys and the way you smiled at visibly nothing.
“you know lando is going to go into the office and tell everyone you’re not fucking me.”
Oscar rolls his eyes in response. it didn’t bother him that people thought he wasn’t getting it. he knew he went home to you and did whatever you two pleased before sleeping. Lando could spread all the false rumors around that he wanted, but Oscar never would care. that always showed you that Oscar was way more mature.
“one day you’ll get pregnant and he’ll still think we aren’t doing it.”
“there’s only one way to show him we are doing it,” your playful smirk makes his stomach swirl in excitement and anxiety, “you scare me, Norris.”
“why the fuck did you have sex in my bed?!” Lando shrieks running down the stairs towards the kitchen where you’re buttering toast for your dear boyfriend who’s covered in hickeys. a marking that certainly shows your bother otherwise.
“oh was that your bed? I’m so sorry, we just were really into it.”
2K notes · View notes
ienvieu · 1 year
Text
physically feeling the jealousy invading my every senses
#trying to compensate for my loneliness with plants and collecting as many as i can#and yet im still not satisfied and im tired of going to sleep and waking constantly thinking about how i could die#and no one would notice which might not be true ik but it's still my biggest insecurity and im tired of crying alone#and not having anyone at all to comfort me#and it's actually hard to breathe and something has been sitting on my chest restricting it for so long and it's so lonely#and i genuinely might die from the pain some day soon#growing up like this so isolated from my peers god i feel so stupid i want friends is that really too much to ask#such a first world problem mayhaps which makes me feel even shittier bc it's the biggest thing that eats at me inside out these days#no one ever understands. ever. and they say they do but they dont because how could they they havent lived a day in my shoes#and it's all just so so lonely#idk whatever#it'll all pass soon#i cant talk to anyone#im always the one listening to what's happening around me and no one bothers listening bc why would they they cant relate#they're not interested#at this point i dont even know how to socialize and i try to but it doesnt work and no one cares enough to reach out to me#and one girl did but i didnt know how to reply or handle it and now she's gone too#and now my closest friend is my five year old sister how funny is that#my contact list is so so so damn long and yet none of those numbers and names would care#or they would ik that but it doesnt feel like they would remember#ignore this im just trying to cope#i thought i was okay i was seven months clean#not anymore#of course not#bc nothing is ever simple
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emmyrosee · 8 months
Note
bf!sukuna who's a big softy will get mad at you for not eating dinner but cook for you anyway.
"You ain't ate yet?!"
"Tch. Whatever. I guess i'll make you something."
Whenever you fall asleep from working too long/being online too long he'll always tuck you into bed and give you a kiss on the forehead.
He has all your favorite snacks memorized and has them stocked up for you.
When he thinks you're asleep he will tell you stories about him from his past and you will admit sometimes you could NEVER see him doing those things.
"Yuji and I lived at the beach for like, 2 years I think. I used to surf. I was REALLY good at it, maybe I'll show you one day."
HERE ARE SOME IDEAS LOVE YOU EMMY 💖
IM GONNA COMBUST HES MY BOYFRIEND FR-
He gets so mad when you don’t eat, even if it’s only been for a few hours bc you’re not taking care of yourself dummy, and now he’s tasked with the laborious task of feeding you and taking care of you (his words, not mine)
He also can’t stand when you overwork yourself, or fall asleep at your desk because when your back screams at you later, he’s the one that’s going to have to massage it. But he’ll deny the way his heart skips when he scoops you in his arms and carries you to bed, and your cheek nuzzles into the warmth of his torso until you’re laid down on his side of the bed so you can keep his familiar smell in your mind :( all before he goes back to turn off your lights and save your work for you bc what of it got deleted huh? He’s gonna have to hear about that too? Tf?
He, and I cannot stress this enough, knows ALL of your favorite snacks, because for a good chunk of them, they’re his favorite too, and he has to chose between being a good boyfriend and saving the last few bites for you… or, eating them himself and kissing the pout from your lips while you whine and cross your arms petulantly. He’s always sure to be especially affectionate after he eats them, bc he knows he’ll find his shit left in the backyard for him to sleep on the porch swing.
AND HE LOVES TO TALK TO YOU WHILE YOU SLEEP 🥺 bc 9 times out of 10, you are in fact dead asleep, left with your lips smooshed against his chest and arm draped over him, and he can tell you anything. Deep secrets, deep desires, how he used to love yuuji as a kid, the whole nine.
But that 1 out of 10, you blink awake and give him a smile, and he nearly screams in fear of you coming to life, and you giggle softly. “You can surf, but you don’t know how to ride a scooter?”
“SHUT UP-“
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ratioaven · 6 months
Text
spoilers for 2.1 !!!!!!!
aventurine rant, please keep in my mind that these are my own thoughts and interpretations. im extremely sleep deprived lol so im sorry if i got anything wrong
something thats been on my mind since yesterday are these lines.
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from the start to me, it was very clear aventurine had self esteem/worth issues because of how he treats his own life, but the line that says “the other hand is below the table, clutching your chips for dear life” stuck out to me.
i always assumed aventurine was so incredibly confident in his luck but in reality he is afraid. he’s terrified that he’ll lose. it’s an act. he convinces himself, he fools himself, he forces himself to act like he’s confident he’ll win, when in reality even if he does win, he’s still clutching his chips under the table for dear life because of how terrified he is of losing.
that really messed with me to be honest. i feel tricked and what’s ironic is that he tricks his opponents into thinking he’s confident, and he also tricked ME the player but really, this made my heart break in two because i had absolutely no clue up until now.
so why does he act this way
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all throughout his life, aventurine has had his pride stripped away. just try to imagine being in his shoes. i myself do not think i could deal with the situations he was put in. i cannot stress this enough, aventurine has a mark on his neck that screams to him that he has once belonged to someone. he has had his pride stripped away from him countless times. but it’s ironic because aventurine is introduced as a very prideful and flashy man. you start to realize the front aventurine puts on is his own way of protecting himself. it’s how he’s able to live basically. i wanna go into more detail but i will later.
as it was said before, aventurine is an uptight person who worries. he is extremely afraid of losing and he has a massive inferiority complex. aventurine may seem like a go lucky person on the outside, but in actuality he is not. he is not happy. he has no self worth, he believes he has nothing to live for, and he has no problem with throwing his life away. aventurine believes the only good thing he brings to the table is his luck.
but this brings me to my next point.
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aventurine may not realize it, but he is so much more than his luck. he has so many good qualities and he doesn’t seem to realize it. even if some of it may be an act, he’s still able to pull it off. he’s still an intelligent business man who is both charming and cunning EVEN if it may be an act, those are still amazing qualities to have in his line of work.
but more importantly, aventurine chose to live. despite witnessing his family die, being a slave, and tortured, he chose to live. he chooses to. i cannot stress this enough. this man has gone through hell and back. he truly has had an incredibly difficult life to the point where my heart hurts so so badly for him. he made the decision to stay alive.
that says more than enough about his character.
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and last but not least, aventurine wants one thing, and that is to be with his family. he’s witnessed horrible things in his life that no one should ever go through. he lost everyone close to him, he lost his people. he has nothing to live for and he values his life so little to the point where he has no problem with dying. the only real thing that he wants is just to see his family.
and he will one day, but in the meantime, i genuinely hope this man can find a reason to live, and ratio already gave him one just by that note. i just truly wish aventurine happiness while he lives the rest of his life.
i guess this is a topic that really hits me hard because i know all too well that choosing to live life isn’t easy sometimes and i just love aventurine.
let’s all appreciate how truly amazing his character is.
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secretly-dum · 2 years
Note
Could I get a Joel miller x reader fic where the reader gets her period and her past partners always made her sleep on the couch bc they thought it was gross and Joel is just like wtf at someone treating his daeling like that?
Come Back to Bed, Please?
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pairing: joel miller x AFAB!reader
genre: romantic fluff <3
summary: you get your period and freak out over what Joel’s reaction could be.
warning/contents: reader has a period, blood mentions(obv), Y/N is used, AFAB reader, mentions of past relationships, it gets a tad bit angsty.
additional notes: ty for the request!! Im actually AFAB(I identify as agender btw) so I can relate to this 😭
«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»
Your stomach starts to hurt and you immediately realize what time of the month it is. You rush to the bathroom and grab your stash of pads underneath the cold sink.
Knock, knock.
You completely forgot about Joel..
“Uh..Y/N? You..you alright…?” Joel questions worryingly, thinking the worst that could possibly happen to you.
“I’m alright…I’m just on period!” You yell out nervously, hoping that he wouldn’t make a snarky remark or say you’re disgusting.
“Alright, just tell me if you need anything.” He says and you hear him walk away. Fear washes off of you, but confusion starts to settle in when he didn’t give you the reaction you thought we was going to give you. Cleaning yourself up, a cold darkness settles outside, indicating that you should start to go to rest.
“Took Ellie to sleep, she told me to tell you ‘goodnight’” Joel says chuckling softly and you smile.
“Well, I’m tired too. Think I’m gonna head to bed now.” You say as you pick up your pillow and a blanket from you and Joel’s shared bed.
“Woah woah woah! The hell are ya’ doing?”
“Picking up my stuff…?”
“Why?”
“‘Cause I’m on my period, dummy.” You nonchalantly reply, and lay down on the couch. Joel looks at you with the most confused expression ever and realization hits you like a truck.
“That don’t mean you have to sleep on the couch.” His southern deep accent breaks the short silence between the two of you. Opening your mouth, your voice seemingly disappears from your throat, and now you’re the one confused.
“But that doesn’t…that doesn’t make you disgusted? Or something? Doesn’t that bother you?” You say, barely above a whisper.
“No…? Y/N…god dammit.” He pinches the bridge of his nose making you even more confused.
“Wha-“
“I’ve dealt with all sorts of blood before. I’ve seen clickers in front of me, and those shits are nasty. You really think blood like that is gonna bother me?”
Now that he says it, that really doesn’t make sense. His statement lingers in your head for a while before you say something.
“Well- I guess that’s just a reaction I get a lot. My past partners didn’t like the fact that I naturally bled, so they usually made me sleep on the couch.” You admit, looking down at the floor to avoid looking at Joel’s face. He stays silent longer than usual and you look up to see him being shocked.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” You giggle.
“That’s fucking absurd? No one should treat you like that, ever. They’re lucky I don’t know who they are.” He says walking to you and pressing his forehead against yours, pinning you down on the couch. A warm, fuzzy feeling enters your heart and you let your left hand trail up to his cheek. Moonlight hits the floor, brightening the living room.
“It’s not that serious Joel.” You say, playfully rolling your eyes.
“It’s that serious to me, you’re…you’re human. It’s something that happens naturally, if they don’t like that then you should’ve left them.”
Your gaze at him starts to turn blurry as tears show up in your eyes, you kiss him and he unexpectedly picks you up bridal-style. You squeal out his name and he tells you to ‘shush up’. He gently places you down on the bed.
“Get yourself comfortable, I’ll be back in a minute.” The covers of the bed get on top of you and Joel leaves the room.
A few minutes passed, where is this man? you thought, and he walks in the moment you stop thinking.
“U-Uh..H-Here..” you grab a mug out of his hands and embrace the warmth of it.
“What is it?”
“Tea…it’s from a uh..tip that Tess told me that would help with cramps..” Red tints his face, but luckily from the darkness it’s not visible.
“Aww Joel, you didn’t have to do that!” You say as he steps in bed, you take a few sips from the tea and place it down on the table next to the bed. Joel slips more under the bed and fully gets comfortable, and you position to be the big spoon. You arm wraps around his back and you feel Joel kissing your shoulder.
“I love you, don’t let anybody tell you different.”
“Joel…
I love you too.”
«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»
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vanishingcherry · 1 year
Text
YN YLN and Charles Leclerc Take a Couples Quiz
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pairing: charles leclerc x reader
author's note: this has been in my drafts for wayy to long, so ive decided to just finish it off and post it. im sorry lmao but i just couldn't watch this rot away in my wips any longer.
masterlist
๑ ⋆˚₊⋆────ʚ˚ɞ────⋆˚₊⋆ ๑
The video cut to you and Charles, sitting opposite each other in front of a yellow to red gradient, smiling at the camera.
"Hi! I'm YN", you say cheerfully.
"And I'm Charles"
"And we are here to take a couples quiz!"
You are handed a stack of questions from a person off screen, and turn towards Charles.
"Are you ready?"
"Is that the first question?" he retorts.
Your face drops, now showing slight annoyance but there is still a small smile you try to hide. "That's it. Minus 1 points."
"Oh c'mon! That is not fair."
You turn to argue but the video cuts to a different scene in which you ask the actual first question.
"What things do I have, of yours, that are my favourite?
He looks up in thought before chuckling and replying. "Theres a lot, you steal my stuff all the time."
You grin. "Yes, but what's my favourite?"
"My shirts? No wait! My bracelets?" He asks.
"Yeah!" you exclaim. Turning to the camera you add. "He gets so many bracelets from fans and they are all so pretty. We keep them in a bowl on our dresser so I like to take a few whenever I go out."
Looking back at Charles, you add. "You didn't know the answer, but you still got it right so I think you deserve half a point." The staff behind the camera gives you a thumbs up, noting it down for when they would edit the video.
"Ok! Next question- which song of yours is my favourite?"
He looks at you, his eyes widening with a confused expression on his face. He looks at the camera crew and then back at you.
"C'mon, I only have 2 it's not a very hard question."
"Then answer it." you reply, looking at him with a small smirk.
"Fine. Uh, AUS23."
"Wrong!" you exclaim, laughing at the way his jaw drops in surprise.
"Then what? I know its not Miami."
"Its the one you wrote for Baku." you slyly say, knowing fully well that he hadn't released it and you were possibly the only one other than him to have heard it.
You look down at the cards you had been given, reading off the next question. "What is the first thing I eat in the morning?"
You see his smirk growing in your peripheral vision and cut in before he answers. "If you dare make a joke, I will murder you."
He laughs at that, chuckling as he looks up to think. "Um. Breakfast? It's different things every morning, but if I wake up before her then I make cereal."
Noticing the evident confusion on the faces of the cameramen, you elaborate. "It's the only thing he's allowed to make without me present. The last time I let him cook alone, he burned the pancakes and half our kitchen."
Turning red at the story, he interrupts. "Okayy, next question amore."
"Which side of the bed do I sleep on?"
"Left."
"If I could get a tattoo of something, what would it be?"
"A bouquet of flowers. The flowers would be your favourite and my favourite together."
You are shocked at his response. "How did you remember that? I told you that ages ago!"
He smiles slyly to the camera. "That is why I am the best boyfriend, there is no need for these silly questions I am already the best. She told me so in be-"
"Right. Next question." You cut him off, eyes widening as you figure out where he was going with the statement. "This is the last one. If I could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?"
"Oh this is easy. Italy. You are always talking about how much you love it. But you also love Monaco and France so depending on how you feel, one of those three."
"Well.", you look at the camera, "I think that answer deserves 2 points." Handing your questions off to the side, you turn to Charles who has started reading the first of his questions.
"If I had a ticket to anywhere in the world, where would I go?" he reads. "This is similar to yours", he mutters.
"Home", you say confidently. "He's a mama's boy, tries to go back home as much as possible."
He blushes slightly before nodding to the camera. "Yup, 1 point."
"What was I wearing on our first date?"
You reply quick as lightening. "A shirt and pants. Very gentlemanly, I remember thinking, probably the best first impression I've had of a guy."
His eyebrows raise at the confession, cockily tilting his head in the direction of the camera. "You heard her! Next, what is something I hate?"
"A lot of things, Char."
"Is that your final answer, cherie?"
"Um." you pause. "Oh I know! When manipulate stuff that you say. It makes me really mad too. It gets really tiresome when they take stuff that Charles has said that turn into into a different story altogether."
"Thats true, I do hate that." He smiles at you, reaching over to squeeze your hand once to say thank you.
"How many kids do I want?"
"3, because you have 2 siblings. But, you said you want as many as I am comfortable with!"
"Of course, amour. You're the one whose going to be carrying them, your choice is more important here. What is something I get annoyed about?"
"Oh, when Seb and Carlos beat you at those Ferrari games you play."
His jaw drops in faux offence, shaking his head as he reads out the last question on his cue card.
"What is one my hidden talents?"
You look straight at the camera, not dissimilar to The Office. A smirk grows on your face and the lens zooms in. In the background Charles can be heard complaining.
"Oh I see! You can make these jokes, but I cant?"
The video cuts to the wider angle once again, you and Charles wave at the camera.
"Thanks for watching our couples quiz! I think it's clear that I've won."
Charles rolls his eyes, eyes shining with admiration and love for you. "Bye everybody."
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Comments:
charleslover: OH MY GOD!! THEY ARE SO IN LOVE IT KILLS ME
ynandcharles: their facial expressions always kill me
username89: where do i get a charles leclerc bcs i will willingly offer all the money i have
doratheexplorer16: their love for each other hurts
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giamee · 4 months
Text
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𝐒𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐃 𝐌𝐄 𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐍 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐓𝐘!
╭─────────────────────── ( 🫀 )
there's a certain beauty and pain in being with someone carnally, and nothing more than that
› 〉 📂 .ೃ | friends with benefits, more angst than smut, like this is basically all angst no smut lol, kinda short too mb
header art (left to right) by pcrow ; artsquirre ; _sekidesu
╰─➤ 💌 ₍₁₎ being in a situationship is all fun and games until u catch feelings fr 😕. anyways. let's go thru that pain in this. lowkey i wanna make a part 2 to this with a happy ending cos im SOFT lmaooo
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ᯓ ᡣ𐭩 ALHAITHAM.
BEING IN... WHATEVER THIS RELATIONSHIP COULD BE CLASSIFIED AS was not good for your mental health. in the past weeks that you and alhaitham had started sleeping together, you had been plunged into one of the worst emotional rollercoasters that you had ever been on.
what didn't help was the way he treated you so differently depending on the setting. you understood not wanting people to know, but did he have to ignore you entirely in public?
he wouldn't even spare you a glance as you walk past each other in the halls, eyes stubbornly trained ahead, leaving you steamrolled in his icy trail. and if you dare to try and talk to him- he'd look at you like you've grown a second head, completely shunning you and walking away as quickly as possible.
but it's a different story behind closed doors- in private, he's the sweetest man alive.
he'll whisper such sweet nothings into your ear, wipe your tears so tenderly with his thumbs like a lover would. he'd prop himself up with an elbow just so that he can gaze into your eyes as he pushes into you, even smiling at you as he watches the way your expression changes.
and the way he kisses you is what really throws you- always with such desperation and urgency, like he needs you in order to breathe when it's quite the opposite. he kisses you like he loves you, and the sensation is dizzying, perplexing when those fantasies are ripped from you in favour of reality.
but you know that you won't ever be his. not properly.
if it was meant to be, he'd at least smile at you as he passed. the more rational parts of your brain screamed at you to call it quits before you're sucked in too deep, but some part of you still held onto the hope that one day he would see you then smile.
ᯓ ᡣ𐭩 THOMA.
IT TRULY HURT TO REMEMBER THAT you weren't actually dating thoma. it was easy to get fooled- he was a gentleman, making sure to treat you right even when you weren't fucking. he'd make sure that you were okay, and he never kicked you out as soon as it was over.
he'd ask about your day, take interest in you and what you're doing. and arguably, worst of all, he wasn't afraid to be seen with you. the details that blurred the lines defining your relationship seemed like an afterthought, if the way his arm wrapped around your shoulders indicated anything.
you were his, unofficially or not. it only took a glance to be able to tell.
you liked to think that he was yours, too. that you meant something to him- more than just a pastime and a stress reliever.
there were moments where it was easier to believe it- with the way his eyes remain transfixed on you as you writhe in pleasure, cries of his name leaving your lips- his little coos and reassurances buttering you up, having you right in his palm, so pliant and willing for him.
maybe he got off on knowing that he makes you feel good in every sense of the word. seeing you happy acting as some sort of foreplay, all so he can claim you as his in every way except the one that you wanted most.
the urge to tell him how you feel, those three little words that dangle on the tip of your tongue and fight to be freed, are a constant struggle. but something inside you, some sick gut instinct, stopped you from blurting it out every time.
the fear of his reaction- disgust? confusion? kept you uncertain. a part of you would die if he didn't reciprocate your feelings. it was better not to know, and keep living in the make-belief of being his without the label.
you could only hope that you would be proved wrong one day.
ᯓ ᡣ𐭩 WRIOTHESLEY.
DESPITE EVERYTHING, YOU COULDN'T HELP BUT crawl back to him every single time. a never-ending cycle- one that you couldn't escape even if you wanted to.
both of you knew how it goes. you unblock him, play coy for a few messages before he's telling you to come over. you fuck like it's the last time you ever will- it never is- and then you spend the night.
he'll hold you, play with your hair, even kiss you, and you pretend that it's enough. if you're lucky, he'll even lend you a shirt that smells of him to sleep in.
and this facade is fine- while it lasts. but then you remember why you blocked him in the first place- the forced indifference, his refusal to open up. the way it hurt your heart to be pushed aside.
and then you go and ask him what you mean to him. he'll smile at you without mirth, the both of you knowing how this conversation goes. he doesn't want anything serious. you want more.
and then it's tears, you ripping off his shirt and throwing it back at him, storming out of his place and blocking his number with shaking fingers.
you cry yourself to sleep in your cold and empty bed- already sorely missing the warmth of his body as he holds you close to him in his sleep, whether he's aware of that or not.
and you're fine, you tell yourself. you can live without him. and you do, for a little while. honestly, he's the last thing on your mind as you distract yourself with work or seeing your friends.
but then a lonely night gets the best of you, abd you find your finger hovering over the call button next to his name. and you press it, cursing yourself for doing it.
he picks up at the third ring, voice smug as if he knew you couldn't go much longer without him.
and he's right, unfortunately.
you're already out the door, on the way to his apartment.
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𝜗𝜚 genshin impact masterlist
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mosswolf · 4 months
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couple of people have asked me what my deal is (in much nicer terms of course or i would not be posting this) so. when i was seventeen i had a small cold and then just? never got better? i was fainting, having heart palpitations, dizziness, nausea, all vague and unhelpful, and ive always been prone to joint pain but as ive grown up it's got consistently worse and worse, especially my wrists and elbows and shoulders.
doctors were not helpful,
had loads of blood tests, first they said i was very slightly anaemic, so i took iron for a while, they confirmed i was no longer very slightly anaemic. "but im still having all these symptoms???" i said. "man, that's weird. good luck!" they said. one guy was really insistent i had an eating disorder, and i just. don't??? ive had a lot of issues but never that one!!! but how do you prove that you dont have an eating disorder??? another guy looked at me skeptically and said "were you Born Female? 🤔" and i was like. i guess. and he replied "good." GOOD? WHAT DO YOU MEAN, GOOD?? HELLO!!!!
that was three years ago. ive just lived like this ever since,
ive moved house since then and so really need to try my new doctors and see if they're better, especially since im not a teenager anymore they might take me more seriously, but it's such a horrendous ordeal that ive never managed to get up the energy to tackle it. i think i have some kind of pots/dysautonomia situation and strategies that people use to manage those tend to help me at least slightly, but god only knows what the joint situation is all about. im also autistic and adhd and theres a whole host of weird joint things that come with those so??? i wear wrist braces to sleep and take lots of ibuprofen and try to go from there. so yeah. not even i know what my deal is really....
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syoounn · 5 months
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¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸ 𝐈 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮~ ¸¸♫·¯·♪¸¸♩·¯·♬¸¸
part 2
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▪︎Saying "I like you" to bsd characters as they're your husbands.
▪︎Fluff!
▪︎Characters: Dazai, Nikolai, Ranpo, Kunikida
Part 1
Dazai
You came home after buying some groceries that needed for you and your husband. As you place them on the kitchen... you saw Dazai was napping at the living room. You didn't want to disturb him but.. you can help but feel attracted the way he sleep. He's so beautiful.
You leaned closer to his face and staring at him as you say just say those words that just came out on your mouth
"I like you.."
You snapped back to reality and why the hell you just said that?!.. You sigh as you get up to prepare lunch as you felt your husband grabbed your wrist and pull you to his lap.
"My.. my.. Belladonna. I like you too~" He said on his flirting tone as you felt embarrassed and flustered. As he saw you your reaction, a smug expression form to your husband's face.
"I-.. I need to get up im going to make dinner." You said while embarrassed.
"No...~ i don't wannnaaa. How can i let go of my beautiful soft belladonna~..."
You were still embarrassed as you gave up and just buried your face to his shoulder, hiding your current state. As both of you skipped lunch and ended up snuggling the whole day. It was not that bad after all.
Nikolai
You were about to cook dinner as you heard the door open and to see your husband smilling at you.
"My dove.." He rushes to your side and hugs you from behind.
“Guess what I did today~?”
He exclaims excitedly. He’s always very upbeat and eccentric as always.
"Hmm..? what is it?"
He keeps hugging you with one hand on your chest. Nikolai lets go and spins you around to him so you’ll be face-to-face with him as he speaks.
“You wanna know~? You gotta play a game with me, then I’ll tell you~!”
He exclaims, poking you playfully on the nose. He always likes playing games, especially quizzes, even before he married you, He does like to see how well you pay attention to even to the smallest and insignificant details.
"But i wanna say something first then I'll play with you.." You said.
“Hmmmm, well I could make an exception,”
He chuckles a little as he does so. He waits patiently for what you want to say first.
"I like you.." You said with a gentle smile as he were just making sure he is loved no.. you should have said "I love you".
“Awwww my dove~, I like you too~ But, for that answer I’m gonna have to make this game extra hard for you~”
He chuckles even some more as he then smiles as wide as possible. He’s got something in store for you for sure.
Wha-.. What.. that's not fair..!
“Oh~? Why not~?”
He chuckles some more as he plays with your hair.
“I already know you love me, so I get that answer for free right~? That’s not a real answer, my dove... now you shall receive a punishment for getting a wrong answer."
"We haven't even started yet!" You said protesting.
“Hmmm, that’s true~ but come on, you still didn't get it right.. so I'll have to kiss you as your punishment~" He said as slowly leaning closer to you.. It looks like you’ll be showered with kisses tonight.
Ranpo
You were laying on the sofa as you saw your husband walk over saying nothing as he stood at the back of the sofa, just looking down at you. Your breath was taken away, literally... when he jumped over the sofa to land on you and started snuggling up to you.
Ranpo was quieter than usual.. it's actually peaceful and he usually bragged about something he did then wants to be showered with compliments and for now... he's just being clingy.
"Hmm.. something wrong?" You asked.
"Huh? Oh, it's nothing. I just kinda wanna cuddle." He said, making himself more comfortable by pressing his chest closer to yours. You could feel his heart beat as it thumped, which was unusual since usually he was so energetic. This moment where he was calm and relaxed was so adorable.
"Then let me tell you something..."
"Tell me what?" He said, tilting his head slightly while keeping his face pressed into your neck, and obviously know what you're about to say.
"I like you..~"
His face flushed a little bit, and he looked away, hiding his blush by burying his head into your neck. Even though he already knew it's much better when you're the one saying it. Hearing it on your soft lips with a gentle voice, he felt butterflies. He grip on you, tightened, making it so that he was snuggled even closer to you. He didn't say anything in response but rather stayed silent. Looks like both of you will spend time cuddling.
Kunikida
Your husband was sitting at his desk, working on a case for the agency. He gripped his pen - his nose scrunched up in agony, writing in his notebook as you approached him.
"Are you really that busy..?"
“Very busy.”
He said in a blunt tone, not even daring to look up from his notebook. He continued to grip the pen as he wrote down notes and drew.
"Then should i prepare you some coffee..?" You said as you were worried and wanted to help him.
“That would be nice..”
He said, finally looking up at you. His eyes were dark and tired. A sharp pain was felt in his stomach…the caffeine was getting to him, but he had to stay awake to finish this. A slight grimace was formed on his face, his jaw tensed, and a slight exhale left his mouth.
After a while.. you came back holding a mug of coffee as you put it on his desk.
“Thank you..”
He took the mug and slowly took a sip of it. The warm liquid made him feel better, but the coffee was going to affect him even more.
“Why are you awake at this time anyway?”
"How can i sleep seeing you stressed out..?!" You said.
“I’m fine..”
He said quickly, taking another few sips of his coffee.
“Please don’t worry about me..”
You sigh.. cause there's no way your husband will let him rest himself.. He's a workaholic, after all.
"Fine.. but i wanna say something first before i go"
“What do you want to say?”
He set his coffee mug to the side as he turned his full attention towards you. A slight grimace was still on his face.
You leaned closer to his ear as you spoke
"I like you a lot so I'll be waiting for you okay?"
You said giggling as you left a kiss to your husband cheek and left the room.
He immediately turned a crimson red as you left, not once did he ever get flustered often. He looked back down at his notebook, blushing even more. He started working faster. Looks like both of you would cuddle to sleep tonight.
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obbystars · 6 months
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Boothill HCs
NOTES: dividers by @cafekitsune !!
( Made before 2.2 / Boothill might be OOC / GN!Reader / I was in a “writing” mood tbh / first half is fluff, second half is small angst / i just love angst )
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Prefers to be the little spoon because he likes the feeling of being held. Plus he enjoys the warmth it gives him. Bonus points if you give him kisses while you’re cuddling.
Speaking of, please shower him in kisses, he loves it. It flusters him a lot and may cause him to blue screen for a moment, but aeons… he loves it. First time you did it, he did actually overheat.
A biter, but I think we all know that. He goes in, seemingly going to give you a kiss, but now you have a faint bite mark on your cheek. You’re pointing your finger at him? Chomp. Your clothes show a bit of skin? Chomp. Does he “kiss it better”? Sure, if you ask nicely enough. He’s pretty smug about it.
It took some time, but you eventually (sort of) mastered understanding Boothill through his censorship. Sometimes you even complete sentences for him, or rephrase it in the way he would’ve said it. Sometimes he tells you to tell someone they’re “this” and “that”.
Would be more than happy to help you learn how to handle a gun. You never know when it will actually come in handy in the future, so it’s better to learn now. It’s not like he can stay around for long so he can’t always be there to protect you anyway. Managing to hit your mark will have him so happy.
Has probably given you a bullet through a kiss more times than one might expect. Was it on purpose? Accident? Who knows! ( it definitely wasn’t an accident )
God forbid anyone looks at you the wrong way or let alone touch you. He’s pretty intimidating ( but so god damn hot.. ) so there aren’t a lot of fights as a result. If there is, you may want to grab a chair and a drink. Maybe two once he’s done.
A gift giver in my eyes. It’s not always something expensive, but he seems like the “I saw this and thought you might like it” kind of guy.
Since I can’t go on anywhere without slapping angst, here we go.
Part of him feels like he’s not providing you enough. As much as his body gives him an advantage in his work, it’s kind of a disadvantage when it comes to you. He’s cold and made of metal. Whenever you ask to be the little spoon this time, he always wonders if he’s crushing you. He knows how to be gentle, but he can’t help but think he’s holding you too tightly.
More often than not, he doesn’t feel like he’s in “his own body.” His body moves as he commands it to, he can still feel emotions, still think for himself, but there’s always the thought that this isn’t living. That he’s not really “living”. He doesn’t bleed red, he doesn’t have a heart that beats. He knows it doesn’t bother you, but it still bothers him. If he was given the chance to live again as a “normal” human, he’d take that in a heartbeat.
Make no mistake, he loves you more than anything. He loves how you make him feel, he loves being with you and the affection you give him. He just thinks you could have someone better. Someone who can be with you all the time and give you what he can’t. He never voices this to you, though. At least not now. Maybe one day..
Most nights, he stays up. And most nights, there are a lot of unwanted thoughts. You ever so slightly tightening your hold on him while you sleep takes him away from those thoughts for a while, only to then be reminded he has to leave you again in the morning. He hates having to do that, but there’s not much any of you can do.
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I want to write so much more but UGH im outta ideas…
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zwhoreo · 6 months
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Hi! Can I request a fic where the fem!reader helps Luffy to deal with the trauma of losing his brother?
omg first fic after i randomly left for 2 months!! but im back to writing angst again im in an angst phase
also i ended up not specifying anything gendered for reader, hope that’s chill that it’s x gn! i mostly reserve gendered language for smut
wake up @nina-ya i finished the fic i said i’d finish 2 months ago
nightmares - luffy x gn!reader
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angst, hurt/comfort, fluffy ending
❕SPOILERS FOR MARINEFORD❕
summary: the trauma of marineford gives luffy nightmares, and you need to comfort him while he’s vulnerable and scared
contains: luffy in a distressing emotional situation, luffy is traumatized, references to marineford/ace’s death/timeskip
words: 2k
_______________________________
Luffy never used to remember his dreams. They were hazy and soft, they made him feel warm and fuzzy when he woke up, he would stretch and yawn and they’d go away so fast and so gently like butterflies flying away. And then he’d see you and hold you and kiss you until you were awake too, as excited to see you and his heart so warm and full of love.
And you were there to enjoy his dreams, he was a noisy sleeper who mumbled happy little thoughts unintelligibly into your neck, he would kick and pinch and squeeze in his sleep which you had to learn to live with because he couldn’t go to sleep without a hug and you’d be the one to give it to him all night. But he’d often end up moving and rolling around, tangling himself uncomfortably, protective instincts kicking in he'd get on top of you and lay there, starfish. When he awoke in the night he’d assume his most comfortable and close position with lazy kisses. He was so, so happy every night.
That was two years ago.
He’s still the same boy he was then, still giving you all those awkward little affections during the night that you missed so much while you were away. But now there’s more. Now, sometimes, he has nightmares. Awful ones that torment him every so often and make him upset and sad when he awakes in the dark, make him begin to cry when he realizes you aren’t in his arms anymore. You always pray for nights when he’s calm like he used to be, you make sure to massage him and kiss him as he falls asleep to coax those good dreams back and help him heal. Of course those years ago he’d get upset and scared and sometimes he wouldn’t feel well when he woke up, but that was so rare, that was when something bad had just happened and he was very stressed but it was so rare because he was so, so happy.
Luffy’s happy now, too. He hasn’t changed much, really, still an excitable, bouncy kid, always smiling, but now you have to worry about the night. You have to worry about dark thoughts and memories bubbling over when he’s most vulnerable until his body shakes and even your affection is barely enough. This is terrible for you, so unbearably terrible. You have to learn how to soothe something broken, something you love with every fraction of your shattered heart.
_________________________________
You’re asleep, a dull, unbreakable sleep, you’d curled up in Luffy’s arms when it was time for bed and you’d cuddled together and giggled and kissed until you both fell asleep in a joyful pile. Now you’re so content, you don’t even notice how Luffy had accidentally rolled away from you in the night, sheets all tangled up with you and keeping a distracting warmth.
Luffy’s dream isn’t bad at first. It’s the kind where you’re not quite there, floating above the world in just a dull picture, no sound or feeling or touch. It’s just the ocean, a bird over the sea. But suddenly the ocean is stone and the sky is fire and he’s disoriented, where is he? What’s happening? He looks at his hands and they’re red and he’s frozen in fear like you sometimes are in nightmares. He knows in his fractured, cloudy little mind that something bad is going to happen and he’s going to see that picture again. A thousand flashbulb memories are going to explode at once, in fire. In the waking world in bed he’s twitching and sweating and his eyes are shifting furiously beneath his lids, and you don’t know, you aren’t there to hold him.
Ace. Ace’s smile and his soft black eyes and they’re playing in the jungle together and running and running and now that’s gone, the fire’s back. It all happens at once, so much blood, holding something fading and dying. Heartsick over a goodbye. It’s one of those nightmares where you cry and scream so much and as loud as you can because everything’s happening to you at once, but you can’t make any sound, you’re just in a tidal wave of amplified agony. And that’s how Luffy lives in this moment, unable to make out much of anything except darkness and pain, shaking and overheating in his sleep.
But the anguish bursts all around him and then suddenly the fire’s gone and everything is quiet again and Luffy’s awake, tangled uncomfortably in the blankets, face covered in tears. He can’t catch his breath and his mind is full and blurry and empty all at once. Suddenly the darkness of the cabin is all encompassing, sickly, he wants it to be day again and for the world to feel safe and happy and oh, where are you?
Fear squeezes his heart as he tries to find you in the darkness, are you gone? He can’t handle being alone right now, he can’t do this, he searches with his hands in the dark and cries and feels the panic burning a hole in his stomach but finally he turns to his left and there you are. Sleeping. Despite all of this you’re still sleeping, curled up and breathing slowly, unaware and at peace. Luffy wants to wake you up so badly because he doesn’t want to be alone but he doesn’t want to worry you.
So he climbs into your arms and breathes you in. He buries his face in your chest and tries to calm his injured heart.
Biting his lip and shaking he tries so hard not to cry. He can’t bother you, he knows you’ll be sad and worried which he really doesn’t want. But his whole body hurts, he wants your arms to be tighter, he squeezes and squeezes begging silently for relief and for everything to go away but it wasn’t just a night terror it was a memory and memories don’t just go away. So he cries.
You’re stirred from sleep because the sound of Luffy crying is the worst thing you could possibly hear, a thousand of your own memories are brought back and some deep instinct is triggered within you, pulling you, you wake up immediately and the first thing you do is get on top of him and lock him in your arms, trying to breathe slowly so he will too.
He twitches beneath you, cloudy realization that he’s no longer alone. His arms are around you, fingers digging in, sharp pain, he’s trying so hard to make his tears stop as you hold him and stroke his face. But he’s a possessive, needy boyfriend who’s comforted by protecting who he loves. He sits up, taking you with him, he wraps his arms around you tighter and tighter and then his legs. He’s breathing heavily on your face, eyes closed, sad still but resilient. You’re pinned to him, unable to move, but you massage the tension out of his back and shoulders as best you can.
“Did you have a nightmare?” you whisper and he nods against you and holds you even tighter if that’s possible, “…do you wanna talk about it?”
So he nods very gently but he doesn’t say anything. His hands are twitching against you, scratching at your back in leftover desperation.
“Was it about him?”
Luffy leans against you, hopeless and drained, you don’t need him to answer so you just press your cheek against his and pet his hair. And his shoulders shake as he cries silently in your arms.
You rest there for a few minutes, unable to do much other than just hold him, and he whispers in your ear, “I miss him so much.” Which wets your eyes because there’s so much pain in those five words. His voice is breathy, far away.
“I know, Lu… I’m sorry.” You’re not good at this, you think. You never really know what to say because this goes deeper than words can touch.
Luffy bites his lips. He doesn’t want to cause you pain and knowing that he is, it’s just piling on top of his despair. There’s so many times he’s oblivious to how you’re feeling but when things are broken, when you’re in distress, reality tugs at the inside of his heart.
“I’ve got you,” you whisper, fingers in his hair, you kiss his neck gently and the warmth is getting through to him, so gradually.
“I want him here. I just…” Luffy’s voice is breaking. And you taste fresh tears as you move your lips higher. “I miss him,” he says again.
“I know how much he meant to you. Hey, Luffy…” The slow rise and fall of your chest is slowly steadier his breath now. He looks up at you, that sadness in his eyes is almost too painful to handle but you look at him anyways, eye contact with something beautiful soothes his soul. “He’d be so proud of you. And how strong you are.”
He’s heard this before. Luffy sniffles, he knows it’s true but only so much of that can help.
“He’d be proud of you, because you never gave up, right? You kept going and you got stronger.” And you’re not talking about his physical strength, really. You tap the side of his head gently. “Up here.”
Luffy nods subtly, his tears are stopping slowly as he clings to the comfort of your words, his greatest comfort in the world is protecting people he loves, being there for someone. He’s still guilt ridden at letting his brother die for him but as long as he keeps living he’s living for Ace, honoring him, being there for him even if he’s gone.
And that’s what you say next, reading his mind. “What matters is that you’re alive. You didn’t let what he did for you go to waste, he’d be so proud of that. This is exactly what he wanted, yeah?” Your hands trace circles on Luffy’s back as you feel him relax very slowly.
“I’m so happy you’re still here,” you whisper right in his ear.
“Mhm…” Luffy’s lips find yours, hovering, just touching you. “I’m not letting you go, ‘kay?” His words are so deep and genuine. There’s heartache there but an impenetrable love, most of all. His arms are flexed around your body, he’s squeezing you and it’s almost uncomfortable but you have to let him right now.
“I’m not going anywhere.” You manage a smile which makes him smile too.
It seemed impossible for Luffy to get even more loving but he definitely was when you saw him again. You’re the one who’s getting it all, all the affection he wanted to give to his brother.
“You wanna hang out for a while?” You offer because you’re scared to let him sleep again. “It’s ok to stay up. If you’re tired tomorrow I’ll take a nap with you.”
He likes that idea. Maybe you’ll get something to eat, even take a walk on the deck if it’s not too cold. He just wants your company. He wants to spend as much time with you as he physically can to make up for everything and to show you how much love he has to give.
“I love you, mh, let’s stay up an’ hang out,” his words are quiet and gravelly from sleep and tears but what matters is he’s smiling now. He’s back to living in the moment tonight, and you’re his moment.
The next morning he’ll be completely back to himself. He’ll kiss you good morning but he’ll act like the night never happened, probably, because it’s nicer to be happy and enjoy the day. He has you, he knows everything’s going to be alright.
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sulkingscythe · 1 month
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bakugou bf! headcannons
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a.n: fluff!bakugou
pairing: bakugou x gn!reader
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⁂ he for sure was extremely protective of you before you guys were officially together and would always be around you guarding you like a watchdog waiting to kick anyone’s ass who dared to even look at you wrong!! but when you brought this up to him he completely denied it saying that you were the one stalking him.
“i have no idea that your talking about ? did you hit your head ? maybe you have a fever? yep maybe its that haha or maybe its been YOU!! thats been spying on me! ahh i knew it !!!!”
⁂ bakugou is also the type to do small gestures to show his affection!
like buy you your favorite snacks and food when your week has been busy
always covering a desk when you drop your phone under the desk to make sure you don’t hit your head on your way up,
fix your uniform when it’s a mess from waking up late and rushing to class but also scolds you for not getting up on time
"really?? i told you not to pull a allnighter, to binge all of the marvel movies! now look at you, you got detention for not listening to me!!!"
"your just mad i didn't invite you, huh?"
"PFFT AS IF!!! .... yeah i am, but come on!! now i have to watch them alone!"
"i can always rewatch them, and im sorry suki, ill invite you next time now let me make it up to you!! i'll pay for snacks!☆
⁂ extremely loyal!!! this guy does not bat a eye at anyone else !!!, he would also scream to any girls that touch him in away way!!
“ahh!! DONT TOUCH ME YOU DAMN EXTRA, I HAVE A PARTNER!!! NOW LEAVE ME ALONE!!
⁂ he hates it when guys from other classes talk to you especially deku! and would tell to stay away from him saying he’s “bad business” and that all the other guys are not worthly of talking or even being in your presence!
“i dont want you talking to that green broccoli idot! you hear me, he’s just all bad news!!”
“how would you know that!? huh suki? he seems nice”
“i grew up with him remember !?, remember its always the ones that look nice on the outside that are the true villans!”
“uh ok? i mean if it helps you sleep better at night, then ill stop talking to him :b”
“also tell those weak extras from the support course that you won’t be going over there for repairs on your gear anymore. got it, your stronger and better them to be asking for thier help, alright babe? they don’t deserve someone as smart and badass as YOU in their boring dry lives.”
“uhh but how am i supposed to get fast repairs and fix my own gear!!!???”
“ill fix it babe ok?, dont worry about it got it all covered, when you need it fixed just drop it off at my dorm and for payment methods? we could always figure something out. maybe acts of service ;)”
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MHA MASTERLIST
divider credits to @cafekitsune check her page and her work !!
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