#Incredibly invested in this random ass statue family | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

karkallicious · 1 year

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Homestuck as random bullshit I've said EB: someone's gotta tell betty crocker to lay off the cocaine.

EB: i’ve seen michael cera more times than i’d like to today.

EB: i'm sure ben stiller is a decent guy irl but if given the choice between being shot or watching all of his movies i'd ask about the bullet caliber.

TT: Women only want me for my skills in the occult and not my great personality or awesome ass...

TT: That sounds like an issue you should take up with Freud.

TT: But when someone add's apostrophe's to any word that end's with s? You went out of your way to add those. Ignoring your spell check screaming and crying. A tear rolling down the cheek of your elementary school teachers.

TT: Sometimes I'll see an incredibly minor typo and have to resist the urge to be the most pedantic person known to humanity.

TT: This is eldritch horror fucker discrimination.

TG: you dont just take someones obama prism away man

TG: i draw the line at rapping muppets dude

(when questioned as to why $100 was spent on a sword) TG: uh. well. it's a sword.

TG: well it doesnt sound as hilarious to review dildos and say "this one is sans" when you guys are this unenthusiastic

TG: if i ever die play caramelldansen at my funeral TG: theres no sentimental reason or anything TG: i just want to completely throw off the vibes

GG: i’m on board with men in maid dresses regardless of furry status coward

GG: home alone so things are getting pretty wild (talking to a cactus)

GG: local bitch takes "worst nap ever" wakes up several hours later sweaty and somehow more tired

(extreme cold warning in effect, active blizzard outside, sent at 7:18 pm) GG: my grandpa and i are going to dairy queen just for the hell of it

GG: I was gonna get shit done today, so I made a pie.

GG: The only explanation I had for my impromptu dessert making was “This is how I deal with stress...”

GG: Getting genuinely invested in the Cookie Clicker stock market.

TT: (watches toddler trip and fall) skill issue

TT: I frankly think it's a tragedy disney hasn't remade more movies but with muppets.

TT: They're just like "yeah okay dark lord with a robot army we all know you have a ponysona"

TT: I don't make a habit of looking at US political figure anime boy mpreg.

(while holding a katana and talking to a poster) TT: Do you think I make too many impulse purchases, Hatsune Miku?

TG: if not meant to claw grip kitty head why kitty head so holdable

TG: "it's a bad omen when a black cat crosses your path" incorrect, my day has just been significantly improved by seeing a kitty

(on fruitcake) TG: listen you have to pour alcohol into that shit until too many pieces could have you stumbling. great grandma knew how to party

GT: My amusing mugs have had the side effect that today my grandma asked me if she should go full goblin mode or if I wanted to.

GT: You don’t ask questions when a game makes the bold decision to sexualize a t-rex.

GT: Thinking about the time we played a murder mystery game as a family and I got way too into character as a victorian era author.

GT: I'm still disappointed about the time my zoo camp didn't get to watch the tigers being fed because like 15 tornadoes were headed towards us.

GT: Hey lads I just almost accidentally blinded myself.

AA: i love ritualpastas. i like to figure out at what point i would fail and probably get my skin turned into a throw rug or smth

AA: (skelet0n v0ice) hey bitches

AA: oh i have demons in me now thats fun

AA: d0 gh0sts c0unt as pe0ple?

AA: there would be teeth scattering like a fucked up sprinkler

AT: tHIS ISN'T ABOUT PORN ANYMORE IT'S ABOUT MAKING MORE POKEMON COMPETITIVELY VIABLE

AT: i’D LIKE TO THINK I’M NOT OVERLY EMOTIONAL BUT JUST NOW I ALMOST CRIED BECAUSE I REMEMBERED THE SOUND PORCUPINES MAKE AND I REALLY WANT TO HUG ONE BUT DUE TO THE NATURE OF PORCUPINES I CANNOT

AT: i CAN FAINTLY HEAR A CHICKEN IN MY NEIGHBORS’S YARD,,, wHAT

AT: i JUST SPILLED HOT COFFEE ON MYSELF AND APOLOGIZED TO THE BARISTA PROFUSELY

TA: my neme2ii2, biilly bob rockafiire. iit wa2 dark iin there.

TA: (dub2tep play2 a2 ii collap2e on the floor)

TA: ii don't thiink ii've giiven a fuck iin 2everal year2

TA: at thii2 poiint ii’m a2kiing the computer iif iit want2 a blood 2acriifiice

CG: *PEOPLE ARE IDIOTS AND IM NOT ALLOWED TO SAY THAT IN NINTENDO GAMES WHICH I PLAY DUE TO THEIR MORE CALM NATURE*

CG: IMAGINE THE MOST LOUD, DISAPPOINTED, DEFEATED SIGH YOU CAN. ON MY BEHALF.

CG: I WILL FUCK MYSELF OUT OF SPITE. IT WILL BE AN ENDLESS FEEDBACK LOOP, AN INFINITE ENERGY SOURCE, OF SPITE AND SELF FUCKING

CG: "THAT'S A PROBLEM FOR FUTURE ME," I SAY, FORGETTING THAT NOW FUTURE ME HAS TO DEAL WITH THE PROBLEM

CG: UGH THIS PLACE IS FULL OF PEOPLE AND THEYRE ALL STUPID AND I HAVE NO ONE TO VOICE MY GRIEVANCES TO OUTSIDE OF THE INTERNET.

AC: :33 < you meow in theory catgirls would probably eat anything smaller than them based on actual cat behaviours

AC: :33 < i at one point went out in public with homemade cat ears and a tail and tbh it wasn’t that bad. like sure people might judge but it turns out being cringe is being fr33

AC: :33 < *bap bap bap bap bap*

AC: :33 < i just wanted to try something but discovered the owo extension was twagically wemowoved. a woss fur evewybody

AC: :33 < today i said "you will be exiled for your baby crimes" because my cat was messing with my sketchbook

GA: If You Wouldnt Fuck A Vampire Minimum Youre A Coward

GA: I Use Amazon The Least I Can Out Of Spite That They Took Away My Favorite Fabric Store

GA: My Aesthetic Is Vampire Aligned Not Ghost Aligned I Dont Wear White

GA: I Am Going To Forcefeed You An Entire Fucking Dictionary

GC: 1 DON'T CONDON3 CR1M3S GUYS. UNL3SS TH3Y'R3 FUNNY

GC: TH3 ONLY V4L1D CH4NG1NG LOGO TO R41NBOW FL4G TH1NG 1S WH3N TH3 SCP FOUND4T1ON DO3S 1T

GC: 1T’S TH31R F4ULT TH3Y COULDN’T H4NDL3 B31NG D3C4P1T4T3D OFF1C3R >:]

GC: DON'T D13 DUD3 TH4T WOULD B3 D3C1D3DLY UNG4M3RL1K3 OF YOU

AG: remem8er kids: no matter how 8ad things get, at least you’re not the middle dude in a human centipede. pro8a8ly.

AG: spider furries: “88w88 what’s this?”

AG: may god have mercy on your 8ones because I won’t

(about a ripped cat plushie) CT: D --> we can rebuild him. we have the technology.

CT: D --> why must being cool come at the cost of being really sweaty

CT: D --> that's a horse... with an ass on both ends...

TC: WhY wOuLd YoU bUy *ShRoOmS* oN *eTsY*

TC: SoRrY wRoNg PoSt I wAs TrYiNg To ShArE cLoWn MiLkInG

TC: “AnY lAsT wOrDs, PuNk?” “HoNk”

TC: I hAvE aCtUaLlY eAtEn LeMoN sLiCeS aT rEsTaUrAnTs As ThE wAiTeR wAtChEs In HoRrOr

CA: i wwas nevver invvited to any high school parties. they might havve happened. i just wwas not invvited

(about invasive fish coming onto land) CA: i knoww this is an envvironmental hazard and all but let’s face it it’s a little funny

CA: i havve an spqr hat and i lovve it but also don't wwant people coming up to me like "you knoww wwhat the romans did right" like if i did not knoww a god damn thing about roman history i wwould not be wwearing the hat

CA: i'm a slut in theory. in practice i am not vvery good at it.

CA: anyone wwho thinks i'm insufferable for acknowwledging that i'm not unattractivve is ignoring all the other perfectly vvalid reasons i'm insufferable.

CC: one time I managed to make ocean puns back and fort)( wit)( a friend for like an )(our and I t)(ink our friend w)(o was also in t)(e car actually contemplated krilling us

CC: starfis)(... are mermaid nipple clamps

(Sends picture of a horde of goldfish) CC: my entourage

#homestuck #incorrect homestuck quotes

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takaraphoenix · 4 years

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Hi! What are your thoughts about OUAT.

That’s a complex, layered answer because my feelings for OUaT are very complex. The short of it is that, obsession and love level wise, this was my Shadowhunters before Shadowhunters existed as a show. I completely loved and adored this show, I watched every episode as soon as it came out, with a single-minded focus (as in: normally, when watching TV, I use the show as a background noise to my writing. There is only a select handful of TV shows that ever managed to get my full, undivided attention of me turning all else off to only focus on the show).

I love OUaT to bits and pieces. However, much like Shadowhunters, it was far from a flawless show. Very, very, very far. Seriously, it’s an absolute mess in many aspects but damn do I love it.

It appeals to many of the things I love. For one, classic Disney movies. For another, fairy tales - but the very specific niche genre of fairy tale crossovers, which is just... my biggest weakness, possibly. Thirdly, characters you can get invested in and love to bits and pieces.And fourth, shipping.

This is one of the incredibly small, tiny pool of shows where I absolutely adore the canon ships, not just in a “daw it’s cute enough” way that makes me accept that it is The Canon Ship That’s Happening, but in a way that has me actively invested in and rooting for those absolute dumbasses. And. Not just one ship, usually it’s like “huh I am surprisingly invested in this one ship”, but - Rumpel/Belle, Hook/Emma, David/Snow?? Yes, please, inject it into my veins.

Though also just as attached to my non-canon ships - REGINA/EMMA FOR LIFE, Ruby/Snow, Hook/David. And that duality of being really invested in the non-canon ships but still absolutely loving the canon ships? That is... completely and entirely unique to OUaT for me. Never happened outside this show.

I adore that this show did one of the things that I complained Descendants didn’t - it respects Snow White, the very first Disney princess, and puts her front and center. Never-ever made sense to me that Descendants just went “uuuh we at random picked Belle to rule all the kingdoms because I dunno the head writer loves Beauty and the Beast the most”... Snow White was Disney’s very first and I do think she deserves more respect.

The things they did with her! They made her an actual active heroine. Not a little girl hiding out in the woods. They explored possibilities and turned her into a total badass, who never lost the main qualities of Disney’s Snow White though. Her nurturing, loving, gentle soul. That is what I adore about her, because very often when trying to portray strong female characters, media removes their softness, makes them hardened to make them a badass.

Regina and Emma have such a brilliant canon dynamic - even beyond the fanon ship. The way they mended and grew together and became friends. The growth, the softness, the shared custody. I love them.

And with both Regina and Rumpel, I love the day they gradually progressed from “main antagonist from season 1″ to “part of the family”. This show is a found family feast.

It wasn’t flawless. It had some pacing issues, in my opinion. Like the Peter Pan arc was too long. They went hiking for like 12 episodes. That one still sticks with me as having bored me. And I also do think it was a huge mistake to make Peter Pan, one of Disney’s heroes a villain. He was a great villain and his actor absolutely killed it, don’t get me wrong, but in the context of Disney canon, it was a bit jarring.

The same is to be said about Arthur. Don’t take King Arthur, of all people, and turn him into a jackass. That didn’t sit right with me and I think that could, and should, have been handled differently.

As a huge fan of Wizard of Oz canon, I have mixed feelings about Zelina. She was kind of a joke most of the time, her raping Robin was not good at all (beeecause that’s what it is when you shapeshift into the person the other one loves and then have sex with them under pretense to get yourself pregnant), but in the end it - and her - fit relatively well into all of this.

Was completely wasted for the entire Frozen arc, but even I, someone who loathes that movie with a burning passion, genuinely enjoyed the way the show was trying to fix it? Answer all the unanswered question the movie left and actually tie it into the Snow Queen fairy tale? Like, that was a feast and I love that they did that. Also Ingrid was hot and checked all my boxes so there’s that.

In the same way, I adore what they did with Ursula. That they took the scraped canon of Ursula being Triton’s sister and worked with that and that they in the end decided to redeem her too - though I am still very disappointed that we never got to see Ursula actually interact with Ariel at all. That’d have been so interesting. (Also, I admit, they went really overkill with having three Ursulas. Regina pretending to be Ursula, Ursula the ancient golden statue goddess and the actual Ursula, daughter of Poseidon).

I love Hades. I love Greg Germann’s take on Hades. He absolutely killed it. The whole underworld story was incredibly awesome to me personally - though I know others didn’t like that half-season as much. But I really dug that.

I think that it started to fizz out after that though and that after the underworld storyline, they probably should have drawn it to a close, because... after everything, after five whole seasons of watching redemption and working hard to make up for the things you did in the past, they really just decided “and now Regina is gonna physically split off her Evil Queen”... and made that Evil Queen the villain. That felt insanely repetitive of season 1 and like a set-back for Regina.

(The second half of that season didn’t go better because honestly that whole nonsense with “not only is Rumpel the son of Peter Pan, nope, now we bring in his mom the Evil Fairy”, featuring the very overused trope of “baby is magically aged up to be a character who can contribute to the plot”... Not the best.)

Also I refuse to acknowledge the existence of that reboot season. It’s bullshit is what it is. The show had the perfect ending. And then they immediately slapped a reboot onto it... why? If they had taken their time, wait ten years until nostalgia for the show kicks in and the actors all need work again, and do a proper “now Henry goes through shit”, that’d have actually been interesting, but... the moment I saw “so... we keep half the main cast, break up some OTPs, don’t age the adults up but age Henry up and also there is now a second Cinderella”, I knew that’s not gonna be good.

Seriously, the second Cinderella is what really fucked it over for me. What I loved about OUaT was that it gave very specific rules to its universe.

The Author documents the tales. The Author gives them their spin. But they are still the same tale. Be that the Brothers Grimm, who documented Cinderella, or then Walt Disney, it was still Cinderella, from the Enchanted Forest. Their stories were simply written down.

That they then, in the reboot season, went “well, actually There Are Many Cinderellas!!” completely contradicts the previously established rules of this world? Because yes, the concept very similar to Cinderella actually exists in many cultures - and that was the cool thing of OUaT’s take, because pressumably that is because the Author was in said culture at said time and documented the tale, as is the Author’s job.

Especially since it was so... unnecessary? I mean, they gave Rapunzel one half-assed episode in the past, they never tackled Gold Mary, they could have shown what became of Hänsel and Gretel now also grown up, etc. There were other unused characters that could have been brought in instead of throwing the rules out of the window.

But moving on from that; I love that they didn’t limit themselves to Disney movies - that they did prominently put Red Riding Hood (my favorite fairy tale character) in there, that they worked with mythology as well as books.

One thing they absolutely fucked up was their spin-off though. Once Upon a Time in Wonderland. They made that. They decided that, out of everything touched upon in the series, Alice’s tale should get a spin-off... and then they didn’t use any of the actual characters?

Alice herself never got an appearance in OUaT, not prior or after the spin-off (only very much later in the reboot season, with a different Alice)

They had the Queen of Hearts on OUaT, but they didn’t use her as the main antagonist, or at least a huge deal, on Wonderland

They had the freaking Mad Hatter on OUaT, but he doesn’t even have a single cameo on Wonderland

And don’t give me “Seb Stan was too busy!”, because... even then, they could have recast. The Mad Hatter is kind of a big part of Alice in Wonderland, but... they ignored the majority of what is important in AiW in general, so there is that

They named the Red Queen Anastasia and very heavily implied that yes, the Anastasia who was the stepsister of Cinderella - but when OUaT’s original Cinderella got her stepsisters introduced, they suddenly had entirely different names than the Disney stepsisters and of course it wasn’t the same actress either

They introduced Jafar (for some reason) in Wonderland. And then recast him when Aladdin was tackled on OUaT and never addressed any of the things that happened on Wonderland, especially not how Jafar was the son of the sultan which would technically make him Jasmine’s brother

It was nearly dumb to move Will Scarlet to OUaT after the spin-off was axed, because at that point they legit just ignored Wonderland as a whole so this acknowledgment felt very off. But then it’s Michael Socha and I love him so I ain’t gonna complain about that.

So yes, I have mild issues with how they made a spin-off that had basically no inpact on the show, despite many elements that should have crossed over and carried significance in both shows.

Lastly, because we’re on the topic of spin-offs, I still would absolutely kill for a spin-off about Mulan, Merida and Ruby. Those three, exploring the Enchanting Forest together, training together, being gay together, it was the best thing. Which does force me to mention the gay. Because... Mulan was canonically in love with Aurora and when they set her up to find Ruby and journey with her, it came really off as them trying to make Mulan/Ruby happen. Then they introduce Merida, a very famously single princess, and you start to wonder. But in the end, it’s Ruby who ends up with Dorothy, aka two characters not associated with Disney. And it makes you wonder. (It doesn’t. We all know Disney is hugely homophobic. We all know OUaT most likely had some Disney executive yelling at them for even implying one of their characters may be gay. So they backtracked to give the wlw storyline to two characters that weren’t Disney property.)

Ah, I don’t like ending things on a negative note so one last positive - as weirdly as the Dark Swan arc was handled at parts, I absolutely love that Emma’s name being Swan really did pay off in making her the Swan Princess in the end and giving a nudge to Swan Lake with the Dark Swan. That was such a cool pay-off of something as small as a last name.

So, to sum it up, there’s some flaws in the writing, some things I wish would have been explored more, but overall good gods do I love and adore this TV show.

#Once Upon a Time #Once Upon a Time in Wonderland #Disney #Anonymous

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technoturian · 4 years

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I finally finished Picard. I enjoyed about 80% of it but felt like it stumbled at the final hurdle, tbh. My main issues below...

- For a show that started with Picard and Data, it felt like the show’s main emotional line was Data/Picard and Soji/Data and that it would connect Data and Soji as strongly as it started to do with Dahj before she died. But then after they left the Troi-Rikers it felt like Data was completely absent from the story and it became not about who Soji is as a person but who Soji is as a synthetic, a basic “synthetics vs. organics” argument rather than about what makes a person alive and an individual and what made Soji in particular so special. Soji became less about being Data’s daughter and more about being part of Soong’s collective of synthetics.

It was so muddled what the message even was beyond that very surface level debate, to the point where Soong found out his daughter killed one of her own he goes, “they’re just as bad as us” -- once again lumping them all together -- and chooses to “switch sides” and stop them by force. Instead of, y’know, *talking* to the rest of his children after the one individual that was clearly evil and influencing them was out of the way.

If anyone had told Soji that Narek hadn’t been the one to kill Saga, wouldn’t it have been much easier to convince her? But that would’ve undercut the big fight and their big message that.. to be honest just didn’t make sense to me at all. Soji felt completely lost as a character the second the homeworld entered the picture. Suddenly she knew things and felt things because the story needed her to.

- And let’s talk about this clearly evil android sister of hers. Why does she look just like Soji except because of all the heavy handed twin metaphors? I thought that face was like... specifically designed by Data in his painting? I’m so confused. I’m incredibly confused about the timeline of events at this point. And I’m confused as to why the Data-like androids are so capable of emotion and obviously far superior to Data, but Data could not be rebuilt. I’m confused as to why Soji and Dahj were made, superior even to these new androids, and then mindwiped and shoved off to chase shadows rather than just getting some actual humans to do that spying and protecting these incredibly precious creations. I’m confused as to why no others like Soji and Dahj were made afterwards. I’m confused as to how Narek and the others even heard about Soji or Dahj without knowing where they came from, yet they were certain there were more like them (spoiler, there weren’t even more like them, so why did Narek’s group have that impression?).

- Speaking of Narek, what even happened to him at the end? Did I just miss it? I’ve been waiting this whole show for his boring manipulative ass to die, please don’t tell me they’re going to try to bring him back. I don’t need a discount CW Romulan “I did murders but I also cried so I’m sympathetic” Kylo Ren who thinks having a British accent and a leather jacket is the same as having a personality showing up AGAIN and sucking the air out of MORE scenes.

- There were a lot of things that felt unearned in the last episode, but Picard’s “death” is a big one. Riker just goes “Okay bye!” and then Picard dies and they’re playing it off like this old man dying surrounded by his loved ones but as much as they tried to build it up with all of those goodbyes, he met half of them like a week ago. His second in command for years just nopes out of the scene so some kid he read Dumas to once over a decade ago can be the family in this situation? This is supposed to feel meaningful and earned? It wasn’t. It would have been better earned if it had been solely between Soji and Picard, as they had invested most in this relationship, and them ‘having each other’, and yet the idea of Soji finding belonging with Picard was practically thrown by the wayside in those last two episodes to ask “bigger” but less emotionally satisfying questions about her status as a synthetic. So in what should be the most emotional scene in the entire season, he just dies with a half-hearted “aww, you guys” to the new team and I felt... not much. And then it doesn’t even count! And then we’re having a funeral, but now it’s for Data? The same Data who y’all forgot to even talk about during most of that synthetics vs. organics dialogue??? It was nice to see Data again, but completely unearned by the events of the episode.

- Speaking of unearned... This show’s handling of its ‘romances’ is abysmal. It’s kind of sad that Agnes and Rios are the romance with the most buildup simply by virtue of the two of them actually having a FULL conversation with one another before making out. I really disliked Agnes and Rios in the end, partially because I don’t think they adequately built it up (even though like I said, it’s sadly the relationship they put the most effort into building), but also partially because I selfishly want Rios to die so Picard can captain and we can just have more of the great hologram Rioses because they’re way more fun. And also I love holograms more than people. Blame the Holodoc.

Soji/Narek was cringe-inducing garbage, an absolutely artless manipulation from a guy with zero charisma whose entire existence depends on him seducing a girl and him doing so by being evasive, distant and moody. Just the worst. And somehow that makes her like him instead of running for the hills, because he throws in the odd non-sequitur love confession two days into their relationship.

I thought Maddox was Agnes’ father in that old vid until she kissed him and that was. Woof. That was a real gross brain switch. In any case, not a fan, but I will say MAYBE this relationship should really earn the ‘most developed’ title because they were actually in a relationship. And she literally murdered him.

And don’t get me started on Seven and Raffi coyly threading fingers together in the final scene after, to my recollection, not even having a single conversation together??? Why do this? Why? *Why* do this. If you wanted to get them together but you know you’ve done no work on it, save it for a possible second season or *don’t do it at all*. Seven and Raffi being randomly paired off at the end made me wonder why they didn’t just throw in Soji/Elnor too for the whole set. Raffi/Agnes is more believable than Seven/Raffi because at least she gave her cake. Seven/Rios is more believable because they had that one shoe-horned heart-to-heart.

While we’re talking about alternate pairings, I personally think they all should be paired off with a member of Rios’ holosuite. Including Picard. INCLUDING RIOS. Because Santiago Cabrera is too hot for words and there are SIX of him on that ship.

- Another reason Seven/Raffi being thrown together was kind of infuriating to me is it felt the same as the scene where she said she had no one, and basically any scene that was like “Seven is completely alone and adrift and THIS is her new family! Just forget that she’s only had one random heart-to-heart with Rios and a few cute dialogues with Elnor and other than that absolutely no contact with any of these people.”

Where the heck are the rest of the Voyager crew? Okay, so nobody liked Chakotay with Seven. Okay, so Kate Mulgrew and Jeri Ryan didn’t get along so it would be unlikely to ever see them together on-screen. But Janeway literally loved Seven so much she rewrote time just to save her life or whatever that series finale was about. The Doctor, who knows *exactly* how it feels to be disenfranchised and dehumanized, is her best friend. Naomi Freakin’ Wildman who Seven called family who would absolutely have been there for her if she needed her. Why did they make her so sad and throw away all the rest of Voyager’s crew to do it?

I loved a lot of the stuff with Seven more than I thought I would after some of the things I’ve heard. But when I read someone say how “sad” they’d made her life, I have to agree. And mashing her into this crew at the end without putting in the time to show how she can fit aside from a few scenes with Elnor feels wrong and sloppy. If anything I would’ve liked her to leave with the borg at the end and then she could make another amazing grand entrance near the beginning of season two. Because basically the best things about Seven in this show were her kicking in the door scenes.

#Picard #Picard Critical #Anti Narek #Seven of Nine

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subetei-noykin · 6 years

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Indepth Profile + RP Call

IDENTIFICATION —

"Can't you see I'm sorry? I'll make it worth your while.

I'm made of dead mans money, you can see it in my smile.”

Full Name: Subetei of the Noykin

Pronunciation: Sue-be-tei

Pseudonym: X

Nicknames: Scales

Age: Thirty Cycles

Name Day: 32nd Sun of the 4th Astral Moon

Birthplace: Azim Steppes, Othard

Guardian: The Salt and Storm

Residence: The Lavender Beds

REFERENCES —

"Thousand faces staring at me, thousand times I've fallen.

Thousand voices dead at my feet. Now I'm gone, now I'm gone, now I'm gone.”

Motto: “Take only what you're willing to have taken, give only what you're willing to get.”

Theme Song: Fire - Barns Courtney

Face Claim: Jason Momoa (Sorry not Sorry)

STATS —

"The deepest waters won't take me, the highest fall won't break me.

The blood and sweat is what made me, made me."

Gender: Male

Race: Au Ra, Xaela Tribe (Noykin)

Height: Seven fulms, one ilm

Weight: Two-hundred sixty one ponze

Eyes: Narrow and hawkish, right eye crystalline blue with large pupil, left damaged and milky white with blood infiltration in the orb

Hair: Steel gray with straw blonde tips, swept back and spiked with four long braids in the front. Medium length at first glance, actually shoulder blade length.

Skin: Purple-Blue, rough and calloused with hard lines

Build: Muscular and toned but wide and sturdy, good bone structure

Auri Features: Dark Blue/Purple scales over majority of face and body including jaw line and nose bridge. Six visible horns, two pronounced which have metallic inserts on their tips and dagger-like shape while the remaining four rise from his hairline and scalp

Scars: Reference Here

Tattoos/Marks: None

At First Glance (+5)

A Warrior: Spotting him in a crowd is rarely hard and he is typically armed, though rarely fully armored. It's in the way he holds himself, the rhythm he moves and the gait which threatens to push those who step in his path over. Even without his rough appearance or scars, or even the callouses on his hands, it would be hard to mistake him for anything but what he is with his body language and the myriad of battle scars covering him. He may smile and laugh, be friendly and around his mate he can even be seen as a gentle man, but there is always a sharpness to his eye and readiness for violence that reads in him clearly enough to put others off.

Odd-Eye: While his eye-patches admirably hide it, Subetei's left eye is utterly decimated and even the surrounding skin shows tell-tale burns, scar edges and fissures of skin that have healed and marred over. It is impossible to not notice in good lighting and seeing it is unsettling to say the least. Underneath it is even worse; The eye has been split and sealed, re-healed and fused to the skin in some places. The milky white orb is bloodshot in places and has flecks of blood mixed in, with no real pupil, and some parts of the bone stick out near the edges of the eye. It is a gruesome sight and it is why he rarely removes his eye patch.

Self-Made: While he does wear some items professionally made or fitted, the vast majority of what Subetei wears is hand-stitched and crafted by him for his own purposes and as such it is rare to find him not wearing something made of hide, leather or decked in fur. While not ugly or poor quality there is a definite simplicity in his designs that shows. Hardly flashy or elegant, there is also an element of Xaelan tribalism that shows as well; Fang necklaces, hanging tassels and colored patterns, it would be hard to ignore such a thing and Subetei wears it proudly.

Heavy Metal: Contrasting to his own creations, Subetei is rarely far from well crafted and maintained arms to the point that even in his most casual moments he will have a hand or cutting axe available. In private this isn't so much a problem, but in public he is usually dragging around a greataxe of proportional size to himself, and this can mean that one is suddenly faced with an over seven fulms tall Xaela with an axe larger than most hyurans. A startling sight to be sure.

Talk Like A Pirate: Despit having been born in Othard, Subetei has spent most of his life and living in Limsa Lominsa, to the extent that he learned the common speech of Eorzea -from- Limsan natives. He speaks with a thick accent of Limsan that on it's own would be rough to discern but he also had the rich, deep and gravel-like voice of a Xaela with their unique speech patterns and inflections. This makes his natural speech difficult to pull apart and understand, though he can control it to some degrees. Speaking more slowly and clearly often allows him to at least be understood with minimal thought.

FACTS —

"Forged in a fire lit long ago, stand next to me and you'll never stand alone.

I'm last to leave but the first to go, lord make me dead before you make me old."

Occupation: Freelance Mercenary, Hunter, Tanner

Specialties: Close Combat, Hunting, Animal Taming & Pack Combat, Archery, Squad Tactics and Battlefield Strategy

Skills: Adept Blacksmith, Expert Tanner and Leatherworker

PROFICIENCY —

"Hey you there in the mirror, yeah that's something to fear

Cla cla claw my way to the top, cause i don't believe in luck."

Education: Self-taught

Favored Weapon(s): Axes of all shapes and sizes

Secondary Weapon(s): Hunting Bows, Knives

Magic Abilities: Berserker Rage (Innate Aether, Uncontrolled

Magic Strengths: Untested, Unknown

RELATIONS —

"I said all this time I'm thinking my body don't need me, all we can do is breathe

Said all this time I'm thinking your body can set me free, all we can do is breathe."

Sexual Preference: Demisexual

Romantic Identification: Monogamous

Relationship Status: Mated

Sweet on: Neyuki

Alignment: True Neutral

Allies: Various Mercenary and Adventurer Friends

Enemies: The Elementals and Various Other Factions

FAMILY —

"By the skin of my teeth, I'm comin' home

By the sole of my feet, I'm comin'home

I'm comin' home, but I ain't comin' home for you."

Maternal: Urnai Noykin (Deceased)

Parental: Ergan Noykin (Unknown)

Mentor: Valdhur Granspar (Former Captain of The Wakehounds Privateers, deceased)

Associates:

Neyuki Utaura (Mate, Companion, Medic)

Mathias Bedois (Friend)

Seemo Eulen (Friend?)

Faucertaux Carpentier (Former Boss, Friend)

Sigrid Der'ioslainn (Former Captain, Friend)

Ulan Qestir (Friend)

Roka (Friend)

Nerkhun Malaguld (Friend, Companion of Ulan)

Bexy and the Limsan Fight Club (Friends and Punch Partners)

Renaux Mercier and the Gin Mills (Friends and Maiming Muchacos)

Illyriana Usagi and the Garden of Words (Friends, FC-Mates and Co-workers)

Alred Briarthorne, Wind Moondark, Asajin & The Black Crown Mercenaries (Former Squadmates and Subordinates)

[List Continues for some time, he knows a lot of folks and I can't name them all oh god]

Companion: Valdhur [Red Chocobo, Warbred]

MENTALITY —

"One day the shadows will surround me. Someday the days will come to end

Sometime I’ll have to face the real me. Somehow I’ll have to learn to bend"

Social Level: Easily coaxed into social behavior. Open and brash. Jovial and quick to friendship. Hard to anger or offend. Comfortable in small groups or large crowds equally.

Optimistic View(s): There is no shame in the work of living, no sin in the act of surviving.

Pessimistic View(s): No one gets out alive. Life will take all it gives in time.

One Positive Personality Trait: Subetei is the sort of person who attracts others with a boisterous personality and a hearty laugh, no matter the circumstances. Even in the midst of a fight he can usually find time to crack a smile or a joke and in social settings it is rare he lets someone be a 'wallflower' around him, opening his table and tab to others with little reservation.

One Negative Personality Trait: Subetei is incredibly physical and has no consideration for his own monstrous strength around others. From a simple hand-shake to sparring, he does not hold back in any interaction with others and while this is normally not an issue, it makes it hard to be around him if one is frail or excitable.

·One Personality Warning: Abuse of his trust is tantamount to asking to die when it comes to Subetei. If he considers you a close friend, which takes some work, breaking that bond is traumatic to him in a very personal way and if you're lucky, you'll simply find yourself on the bad end of an ass whooping. If what you'e done is severe enough, he has no qualms about seeking his own revenge and retribution no matter what laws or barriers would stand between him and you.

Random Quirk: Digs his claws into furniture when excited.

Hobbies: Wandering and Riding, Sparring and Training, Physical Labors, Brewing Mead and Alcohol

Addictions: Work, Neyuki, Fighting and Violence

Habits: Glib, Violence Prone, Outgoing and Upbeat, Accidental Intimidation, Intentional Intimidation, Swearing Every Other Word

Pleasures: Good Drink, Hunting, The Outdoors, Working with Animals, Seafaring, Combat and Fighting, Sex, Control

Appreciates (List 5+)

Humility Humor Craftsmanship Beauty Strength Honesty Commitment Self-Control Accomplishment Skill Knowing Ones Self

Dislikes (List 5+)

Defeatism Lies Fire Unearned Authority Disrespect Paranoia False Promises Intolerance

Strengths (List 5+)

Patient Good Teacher Honest and Loyal Hardworking Committed and Dedicated Physical Dynamo Thrifty and Coinwise Good Business Sense Open and Tolerant (Tries to be) Thoughtful Extroverted and Inviting Able to Listen or Chat equally Forgets grudges easily Self-Reliant Outdoorsman Expert Mercenary Tactical Mindset

Weaknesses (List 5+)

Berserker Easy to break Trust Difficulty developing relationships Addicted to combat and violence Mercenary attitude Grey Morality Self-invested Coin Driven No Self-Preservation Neyuki No Family Values Craves Work and Physical Exertion Cannot Cook Carries Weight, Even if he doesn't have to

Fears (List 5+)

Losing Neyuki Losing his remaining eye The loss of freedom Inability To Work or Fight Returning To Othard

FAVORITES ––

“I spent those days huntin' hard and fast, With no place to lay my head

And the sound of the rain against the roof, Was loud enough to wake the dead”

Favorite Food(s): Jerky, Aldgoat Steak, Breadfruit, Stews, Anything La Noscean

Favorite Drink(s): Teas, Ale Mead or Rum, Water, Coffee

Favorite Scent(s): Heat, Dry earth, rain on the breeze, herbs and sweets, metal sparking and copper in the mud

Favorite Colors: Black, Brown, Green and Blue or subcolors

TRIVIA ––

We seek tomorrow’s sun, It’s all for the taking here

Only the valiant survive, Live for better years

Subetei's mixed upbringing has given him a tenuous faith in the Twelve, or the Xaelan deities, and instead he has developed a slightly paganistic viewpoint of the world in the form of natural phenomena. The Salt and Storm, as he calls this viewpoint, is a simple belief that while life is harsh and can be demanding, it's pains and undertakings are rewarding in experience if nothing else. It also holds a certain karmic edge to it as well. He does not really call this a 'religion' or believe others should live like this.

His wounded eye is extraordinarily light sensitive despite being functionally blind and when exposed to sunlight or other equally bright sources it's akin to having the wound reopened with blades of salt and fire. It causes him incredible pain and exposure for a long period can lead to blacking out or migraines so intense they last days. His eyepatch is as much a safety measure as it is a decoration for him and as such he wears extremely well-made patches. Metal wires are used to reinforce the straps and the leather is studded if not inset with metal sheets. He also uses metal ringlets on his horns to hold the patches in place. If he expects particularly pitched or harsh conditions he will often use salves or pastes to hold the patch in place.

With his inherent reliance on instincts and natural tendency to disassociate from morality or consciousness during battle, Subetei has developed a dangerous habit of going into berserker trances during battle that put his already high reflexes into overdrive and his natural senses become sharp enough that he has, for instance, picked up the sound of an arrow approaching and smashed it aside before it can connect with him. While useful and extremely dangerous to others, it presents a unique danger to himself as well, as his already uncomfortably high pain tolerance is also increased and he has been known to inflict damage on himself to continue to fight, even at the risk of health or death.

Subetei has an unstable aether that has never been trained, developed or explored in any respect. He cannot use aetheryte, cast spells or channel it in any meaningful way willingly or consciously and those who try and scry his aetheric strength are faced with a soupy, chaotic mess that does not spell much out. Yet he has been known to perform feats that can only be described as 'inhuman' when he fights unconsciously and in his trances, leading some to conclude that Subetei's aether actively permeates him at all times and empowers him, allowing him to fight at above-optimal strength and focus even when he should be gravely wounded. This is not formally confirmed, but it would explain why he also tends to be quick to recover from wounds and injuries as well as his distaste for sitting still and being idle.

While he and Neyuki share an amazing chemistry that cannot be called anything but 'love', Subetei has historically been awkward and uncomfortable around women and intimacy in the past. During his time before Neyuki he had next to no partners and no long-term relationships due to his emotional issues at his younger age and later on his insistence on isolation. He also has certain physical irregularities that make him wary of sex. When approached sexually or flirtatiously he often comes off as cold and aloof, if not outright dismissive, as he has frankly no fucking idea how to react to it in most circumstances.

While Subetei does a good job of containing it, there is a part of him that thrives in the loosening of his reins and control. This primarily comes to the front during battle when he looses himself, but it also tends to show in other moments where restraint is pressed; This includes his time with Neyuki and they are infamous in certain taverns and inns for the destruction of property that has occurred when Subetei truly lets go of himself, and more than once it has been suggested that Subetei's habit of carrying Neyuki everywhere is a symptom of this.

Subetei can pilot a boat and maintain a ship well enough that he is often comfortable going out by himself on sailboats over moderate distances and he loves the ocean, but a certain thrill-seeking part of him loves the sky and airships. During his time in a mercenary company with such vessels he frequently took out the ship he was assigned and used it for all sorts of activities, both on and off the job.

It cannot be understated the kind of outdoorsman Subetei is, to the extent that he can and has survived over a month in the wilderness with only basic supplies to begin with. During his time as a hunter and mercenary he has learned many survival and wilderness methods that he has also become a scarily accurate tracker and wayfinder, though he often does not use those skills in anything but his actual work. He has discovered some secreted places in his times in the wilderness and though he has recorded them quietly, he does not intend to explore or give away their location. Some things are intriguing to simply know.

Subetei's eye was lost during an extremely controversial moment in Gridanian history, where the Wood Wailers and Twin Adders as well as mercenaries hired by an unconfirmed source, descended on a Keeper of the Moon encampment accused of poaching and harboring criminals to the Shroud. Subetei balked when the order was given to drive the children and non-combatants out of the encampment with fire, an act that would have cost lives, and turned on his employers. Though he survived he harbors a lasting grudge against the Elementals, for allowing such an act to be considered free of sin yet hunting to survive be an act worthy of reprisal, and he further disdains Gridania for their involvement in the action and subsequent attempts to play the act off as the work of factions impersonating Wailers and Adders.

One might be forgiven for assuming Subetei does not speak the Auri dialect anymore after his time in the rest of the world but this is extremely untrue. While he has difficulty reading Auri script nowadays he can still speak fluent and distinct Auri with an old Xaelan syntax and inflection that marks his time away from the Steppe. He chooses not to converse in it often, even among other Xaela, to preserve the air of distance he has from the Xaelan culture and to keep an ear on those around him if they do speak it. He is also fluent in sign and non-verbal gestures as Neyuki is mute, allowing him to communicate with Qester rather comfortably at times.

Subetei is a Noykin by blood and nothing else. He does not use his name as a surname and instead as a title, as if it is only a formal thing, and he does not recognize any other Noykin as his brothers or sisters in any way. Though he still retains many of their skills and love of animals he is long removed form his family and their culture. To introduce oneself to him as a fellow Noykin is to receive the same greeting as anyone else, but he has no patience or acceptance for those who would use the name to garner clout with him.

OOC -

Server: Balmung

Timezone: PST

Mun: Male / 28yrs

Experience: Roleplay Experience of 14+ years. Writes in any format, matches length and complexity where possible. Will scene In-Game, Discord and other mediums as requested.

Type of RP: Any/All, Mature and R-Rated themes included. Long-term Storylines or One-shot scenes. Enjoys interacting with Canon and OC alike.

Looking for: Friends, Partners, Punchvictims, Employers, Brothers or Sisters in Arms, Privateers and Pirates, Gridanians and Ishgardians to grouse at, Rivals or Antagonists. Pretty much anyone!

RP Hunting Time!

This post is mainly an RP call for anyone who’s interested in plotting, roleplaying or otherwise hanging out ICly. I’m not looking for anything in particular, no specific scenes or types of scenes, Subetei is flexible morally and ideologically.

Need a hired hand? Gil makes for strange bedfellows. Old pirate or mercenary contact? Sounds like drinks at a tavern. Want to fight? Time to fight. Canon or OC, no difference to me.

I’m not sure how I feel about AUs and the like, so anything like that would need it’s own discussion!

Feel free to directly message me here on Tumblr or on Discord at Versesai#3794!

#ffxiv #ooc #profile #rp call

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subetei-noykin · 7 years

Text

In-depth Profile, Subetei Noykin

Note: Stolen/taken from @miss-bullets-and-booze who made it for her character and it seemed like a fantastic way to get back into Subetei for me!

IDENTIFICATION —

"Can't you see I'm sorry? I'll make it worth your while.

I'm made of dead mans money, you can see it in my smile.”

Full Name: Subetei of the Noykin

Pronunciation: Sue-be-tei

Pseudonym: X

Nicknames: Scales

Age: Thirty Cycles

Name Day: 32nd Sun of the 4th Astral Moon

Birthplace: Azim Steppes, Othard

Guardian: The Salt and Storm

Residence: Limsa Lominsa / Semi-Nomadic

REFERENCES —

"Thousand faces staring at me, thousand times I've fallen.

Thousand voices dead at my feet. Now I'm gone, now I'm gone, now I'm gone.”

Motto: “Take only what you're willing to have taken, give only what you're willing to get.”

Theme Song: Fire - Barns Courtney

Face Claim: Jason Momoa (Sorry not Sorry)

STATS —

"The deepest waters won't take me, the highest fall won't break me.

The blood and sweat is what made me, made me."

Gender: Male

Race: Au Ra, Xaela Tribe (Noykin)

Height: Seven fulms, one ilm

Weight: Two-hundred sixty one ponze

Eyes: Narrow and hawkish, right eye crystalline blue with large pupil, left damaged and milky white with blood infiltration in the orb

Hair: Steel gray with straw blonde tips, swept back and spiked with four long braids in the front. Medium length at first glance, actually shoulder blade length.

Skin: Purple-Blue, rough and calloused with hard lines

Build: Muscular and toned but wide and sturdy, good bone structure

Scars: Left eye, center chest, shoulder, innumerable others of varying seriousness

Tattoos/Marks: None

At First Glance (+5)

FACTS —

"Forged in a fire lit long ago, stand next to me and you'll never stand alone.

I'm last to leave but the first to go, lord make me dead before you make me old."

Occupation: Freelance Mercenary, Hunter, Tanner

Specialties: Close Combat, Hunting, Animal Taming & Pack Combat, Archery, Squad Tactics and Battlefield Strategy

Skills: Adept Blacksmith, Expert Tanner and Leatherworker

PROFICIENCY —

"Hey you there in the mirror, yeah that's something to fear

Cla cla claw my way to the top, cause i don't believe in luck."

Education: Self-taught

Favored Weapon(s): Axes of all shapes and sizes

Secondary Weapon(s): Hunting Bows, Knives

Magic Abilities: Berserker Rage (Innate Aether, Uncontrolled

Magic Strengths: Untested, Unknown

RELATIONS —

"I said all this time I'm thinking my body don't need me, all we can do is breathe

Said all this time I'm thinking your body can set me free, all we can do is breathe."

Sexual Preference: Demisexual

Romantic Identification: Monogamous

Relationship Status: Mated

Sweet on: Neyuki

Alignment: True Neutral

Allies: Various Mercenary and Adventurer Friends

Enemies: The Elementals and Various Other Factions

FAMILY —

"By the skin of my teeth, I'm comin' home

By the sole of my feet, I'm comin'home

I'm comin' home, but I ain't comin' home for you."

Maternal: Urnai Noykin (Deceased)

Parental: Ergan Noykin (Unknown)

Mentor: Valdhur Granspar (Former Captain of The Wakehounds Privateers, deceased)

Associates:

Neyuki Utaura (Mate, Companion, Medic)

Mathias Bedois (Friend)

Seemo Eulen (Friend?)

Faucertaux Carpentier (Former Boss, Friend)

Sigrid Der'ioslainn (Former Captain, Friend)

Ulan Qestir (Friend)

Roka (Friend)

Nerkhun Malaguld (Friend, Companion of Ulan)

Bexy and the Limsan Fight Club (Friends and Punch Partners)

Jun'to Nharuya and the Gin Mills (Friends and Maiming Muchacos)

Alred Briarthorne, Wind Moondark, Asajin & The Black Crown Mercenaries (Former Squadmates and Subordinates)

[List Continues for some time, he knows a lot of folks and I can't name them all oh god]

Companion: Valdhur [Red Chocobo, Warbred]

MENTALITY —

"One day the shadows will surround me. Someday the days will come to end

Sometime I’ll have to face the real me. Somehow I’ll have to learn to bend"

Social Level: Easily coaxed into social behavior. Open and brash. Jovial and quick to friendship. Hard to anger or offend. Comfortable in small groups or large crowds equally.

Optimistic View(s): There is no shame in the work of living, no sin in the act of surviving.

Pessimistic View(s): No one gets out alive. Life will take all it gives in time.

Random Quirk: Digs his claws into furniture when excited.

Hobbies: Wandering and Riding, Sparring and Training, Physical Labors, Brewing Mead and Alcohol

Addictions: Work, Neyuki, Fighting and Violence

Habits: Glib, Violence Prone, Outgoing and Upbeat, Accidental Intimidation, Intentional Intimidation, Swearing Every Other Word

Pleasures: Good Drink, Hunting, The Outdoors, Working with Animals, Seafaring, Combat and Fighting, Sex, Control

Appreciates (List 5+)

Humility Humor Craftsmanship Beauty Strength Honesty Commitment Self-Control Accomplishment Skill Knowing Ones Self

Dislikes (List 5+)

Defeatism Lies Fire Unearned Authority Disrespect Paranoia False Promises Intolerance

Strengths (List 5+)

Weaknesses (List 5+)

Fears (List 5+)

Losing Neyuki Losing his remaining eye The loss of freedom Inability To Work or Fight Returning To Othard

FAVORITES ––

“I spent those days huntin' hard and fast, With no place to lay my head

And the sound of the rain against the roof, Was loud enough to wake the dead”

Favorite Food(s): Jerky, Aldgoat Steak, Breadfruit, Stews, Anything La Noscean

Favorite Drink(s): Teas, Ale Mead or Rum, Water, Coffee

Favorite Scent(s): Heat, Dry earth, rain on the breeze, herbs and sweets, metal sparking and copper in the mud

Favorite Colors: Black, Brown, Green and Blue or subcolors

TRIVIA ––

We seek tomorrow’s sun, It’s all for the taking here

Only the valiant survive, Live for better years

OOC -

Server: Balmung

Timezone: PST

Mun: Male / 27yrs

Experience: Roleplay Experience of 14+ years. Writes in any format, matches length and complexity where possible. Will scene In-Game, Discord and other mediums as requested.

Type of RP: Any/All, Mature and R-Rated themes included. Long-term Storylines or One-shot scenes. Enjoys interacting with Canon and OC alike.

Looking for: Friends, Partners, Punchvictims, Employers, Brothers or Sisters in Arms, Privateers and Pirates, Gridanians and Ishgardians to grouse at, Rivals or Antagonists. Pretty much anyone!

Tagging: @tarot-dancer @the-false-ser-toes @ulanqestir @alred-briarthorne @nharuya @rokachan @windflower-moondark @sigridderioslainn @falconsgaze @uurkhilen @theolder @cranialupi @healerstail @lamiavuinuet @muffinsandglasses @lorythas @an-ale-of-a-tale @trishelle @kulain @riskibusiness @doman-swordswoman @snowy-catte @snowcoeurl-xiv @snowdrop-xiv @praise-nhaama @ayyymeric @aymeric-the-blue @accaliadecorus @heretiques-xiv @shirtlesslizard @degeneratemagicalcatgirl @bexyamalaryssia @illyrianausagi @skysteelsun @the-hawkeyes @dietkoalawithlime @chiffon-rabbit @connor-is-the-captain-of-my-bed @wyrmbled @lordcommanderaymeric @safestsephiroth @freshorenjuice @moryera @wyvernjack-xiv @rexnorh @maybeimawhale @eiragos

I can’t keep tagging but this maelstrom of tags if brought to by ‘I wanna interact with everyone but have only one soul to sell for more free time so if ya’all got tagged or even if you didn’t, please feel free to hit me up for the RP’.

#ffxiv #ooc #subetei noykin #profiles and information #asks and memes #lord this took way too much time

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