#Infuriates the fuck out of me. What a joke. The hypocrisy

[meejijis]

I can’t do friendships if there’s no communication

[snugglebuddyhan]

Really, really, REALLY hate being the one at fault for shit that I didn't even start, bc WHY is my mom mad at me for not visiting with my brother and his wife when they came over earlier when they're literally homophobic? I am a queer person. Why would I want to sit and talk to them when they look down upon people like me? My brother has already implied I'm a sinner and I'm going to hell, so no, fuck him and his grooming ass wife

My brother was one of the most open minded people I knew until he married her. She forced her religion onto him and he ended up becoming grossly conservative afterwards. I remember when I came out to him he gave me a playboy magazine he had hidden behind his dresser and we flipped through it together, but now I'm a sinner who's going to burn in hell for an eternity? This is the same man who excitedly told everyone he knew that I was gay, bc he wasn't ashamed of me. This is the same man that said for all he knew he could end up with a guy as his partner. The same man who bought me a deck of cards with naked women on them as a gift. He didn't have a prejudice bone in his body until he married her. I don't even recognize him anymore

And don't get me started on his hypocrisy. I'm condemned to hell, but he nearly killed an entire family in a wreck HE caused. He totaled their car and left them with injuries and guess what he did? He came home and made jokes about it, carried on like nothing happened and put the financial burden of it on my mother. She loaned him money she didn't have. He ended up having to file for bankruptcy some time later, which was another burden he put on her shoulders. She was so stressed I remember her dropping a bowl of gumbo on the kitchen floor, bc her nerves were bad and immediately falling to the ground and crying. She was mentally exhausted, bc of him and when it was all over he never thanked her or paid her back any of the money she loaned him

He started hanging with a new crowd of people. They were all alcoholics and, bc he was friends with them he started drinking too. For a year straight he'd come home wasted. He'd drive around drunk all the time. He could have killed someone and any time we'd tell him that he'd get mad or say we're tripping. He was out there playing with people's lives like it was nothing

He STOLE money from his job for years. He was eventually caught. He told us his boss was going to report him to the police, but he changed his mind and let it slide by telling him to quit quietly. Just, bc he didn't go to jail doesn't mean what he did doesn't make him a criminal

He's lying to his wife's family, by telling them he fought in Iraq when he NEVER made it off Parris Island. His ass never stepped foot outside of South Carolina. He broke his wrist the first week he was there. He spent 3 weeks in the infirmary and was shipped back home, but he's out there telling people and mind you, he's telling the VETS in her family he served the country. It's sickening. He's deceiving everyone around him. All he does is lie. My mom confronted him about it, bc she's tired of seeing people on Facebook thank him for him for a service he never provided and he said he knows it's wrong and is going to tell his wife. Well, fast forward 2 years and he still hasn't said anything and expects us to keep a closed mouth

He has the fucking nerve to judge me, bc of who I'm attracted to, but not himself after all he's done? I'm going to hell? I'm the one who lives a life you don't approve of? And see, it's infuriating that my mom has approached him about his views despite all he's done and is still continuing to do. Told him how can he judge people. Asked him how he thinks he's going to see the gates and you know what this motherfucker says? "I'm still going to heaven. My place there is just going to be different" like??? You see how these people just bend the rules in their favor when necessary? Bitch, you're going to hell too. Judging me for what??

So, when he comes over I'm not going to be gaslit into speaking to him. He is not the victim here. Also, he's an Isreal supporter. Fuck him and his wife. I don't care that he's my brother when he doesn't even treat me like a sister. When I see him I see red. It's in everyone's best interest to keep him as far away from me as possible, bc let him say the wrong thing to me. I will destroy his marriage in 2.5 seconds. His wife don't play about that military shit. Her family is full of vets and when she finds out she's not married to the soldier she thought she was it's over and if he tests me I just might let it slip

[oddlyhale]

I feel as though I've done my most to talk about all the problems with Ironwood, best boy. But now I realize how much more problems I have with Team RWBY themselves, and don't get me started on Team JNOR. Specifically, Jaune. Used to like him! Now I can't stand his face.

I don't know how but the writers did a great job at making almost half of the cast the most unlikable gaggle on-screen. Every time one of the characters are on screen, I already have this nagging thought of, "oh great, so what's your plan?" Not in a good way, either. I always think so cynically of each and every character. I wish I didn't have to, but can you really blame me for how little our characters do? Most of the time, the answer's just handed to them. The labour of getting to their goal is a joke. Everything they want is a joke.

I began to not have any high hopes for our main cast. I just find them to be filler characters that need to be used to fill up that sweet, sweet screentime and make the fans go batshit crazy for them. It came to a point where I don't care about their goals anymore. What makes me watch is the blatant hypocrisy that dresses the show. It's infuriating yet hilarious at the same time, like a tragic comedy of self-criminalization, except they're trying to convince you that they're the good guys.

While I began to drop hopes for most of the cast, I still find myself mostly intact with characters like Qrow. Bear in mind, that hope isn't as high up as I want it to be. Like I've talked about before, Qrow has been completely submitted to the toxicity of the writing, and his character is a shell of what once was. He's nothing now, but someone that shadows the kids. That what he was supposed to be in the beginning - a mentor that shadows the kids and helps when they need him. Now, he's like this lost, injured old stray dog that forgot where home was, and now he's just tagging along with his head down. It's really sad to look at him, but also frustrating.

I do sometimes wonder what'll happen with Oscar Pines. It's come to a weird point where I don't know how to feel about him. I think it's just me lumping him in with the rest of the bloated cast of characters that I wish never existed - I begin to see him as one of those that shouldn't exist, even though I think he deserves to show his real potential than being a walking vessel. His purpose is really hard for me to decipher, because he's only there because Oz is there. I don't even care if they share the same body anymore - I just think this was some weird excuse for the writers to throw in a new character for V4. Well, he's stuck in the desert now with the others. I hope this can help him improve, despite being stuck in a fucking dangerous zone of Remnant. Thanks, team.

It's hard for me to explain what I feel about Ruby Rose. Half the time, I criticize the character. Other times, I just don't care. I think she's teetering close to the category of characters that are so unbearably pointless, even though she's got the power to fight Grimm and has been treated to be some temporary antidote with her Silver Eyes. She's just. So. Useless.

While I don't always care, the times I do care is when I remember that she's our star. The one that's supposed to carry the show on her back. Yes, the show is called RWBY, but I think Ruby should be the one that carries everyone. Other shows have multiple main characters, but they all have 1 character that ties them together. That should be Ruby Rose, the one that ties them all together in a pretty little bow. But no. She's not even holding herself together, she's just existing on someone's paper, and for what? If she can't do the things an anime hero can do, then why even call her a hero?

I'll probably never understand how the writers can't figure out how to make their writing coherent. It's such a basic premise with basic ideas and tropes, but they can't even get those right. How can you literally fuck up the most overused cartoon trope? A team of heroes fighting against a world-ending supervillain? How is this possible to fuck up?

But hey as I said, the fun in watching is for the daily dose of hypocrisy and character fuck ups.

[aratilightwood]

Why are people so against the idea of Jem having a POV in TID?

I don’t think people generally appose the idea of it. But a mountain was made out of a molehill yesterday after it turned into a ‘Will vs. Jem’ debate. It’s amazing how something as simple as “Jem deserved a POV in TID,” was blown out of proportion, isn’t it? But I never intended for this to happen. My original post was only talking about Jem. Truth be told, considering I wasn’t disrespectful or intentionally attacking anyone’s ‘faves,’ I wasn’t expecting any backlash. I was only announcing my opinion on Jem’s lack of POV in his main series. CC chose to include multiple narratives in her work, so I found it strange when we didn’t get Jem’s. It felt like something was missing, and even more disappointing was the fact that minor characters were given POVs instead.

TID is my favourite TSC series to date. Even though Jem’s story and struggles were beautifully told from the perspectives of other characters, I would’ve liked to have read his narrative on certain situations - (1) When he explained what happened to his family on Blackfriars Bridge (2) When he proposed to Tessa (3) When he threw the sachet of yinfen into the fire before Will took it out. It’s as simple as that. At first, I didn’t understand how anyone could be offended by it.

And hey, I know we got GOTSM. But his experiences as a Silent Brother/151-year-old mortal Shadowhunter, were completely different to his experiences as an adolescent teenager suffering from a chronic illness. So sue me if I wanted his take on what was happening in TID.

But then came the counterarguments that “Jem stans are never satisfied with their content,” “Jem made multiple appearances in other TSC series” and “People complaining about Jem’s lack of POV in TID, are the same people who complained about the Wessa art in the calendar and their POVs in TLH” - being acccused of hypocrisy along the way. I honestly was like, fuck this. While I rolled my eyes at the first comment and conceded to the second, the last one was infuriating. I’m no stranger to the Wessa vs Jessa discourse. I’m aware of the level of backlash CC received from anti-Wessa/anti-Will people, after extra content was released.

However, accusing me of being such an anti was a slap in the face, because it implied I had no other reasoning behind wanting Jem’s POV in TID. I like both Will and Jem, as well as, Wessa and Jessa equally - not one more than the other. While I didn’t object to their POVs in TLH, I admit that when the Wessa calendar art was released, I mused and joked over the fact that it would’ve been interesting to have one of Filomena instead. This is because I wanted to know her better in terms of what she planned for her travel year. Bare in mind, I wasn’t hateful, ungrateful or whiny about it. It was merely a portrayal of my thoughts in a ‘no hard feelings’ sort of way. Wessa being more popular than an Italian Shadowhunter we barely know, is expected, but having an official art of her seemed exciting to me at the time.

I hope this clears up how I feel about Wessa/Jessa regarding the current discourse. But, all in all, I stand by my argument that Jem (a main character in his own series), deserved a POV in TID.

[evilmortys]

Have you ever talked about/drawn/ have head among about c-136’s rick? His relationship w/ his family and morty? Is her better than other ricks or worse? Etc!

i’ve  never  talked  about  rick  c-136  much  extensively  come  to  think  of  it!  so  i  hope  you  don’t  mind  if  i  use  this  ask  as  an  opportunity  to  ramble  about  him  and  their  dynamic  and  their  dimension  in  general  a  little.  it’s  quite  divergent  from  what’s  typical  for  a  rick  and  morty  dynamic  in  places,  i  think.

first  off  i  wanna  lead  with:  morty  c-136  is  sixteen!  so  his  summer  is  of  course  older  too,  and  is  now  living  away  from  home  and  attending  college.  he  misses  her  a  lot,  but  they  still  call  a  few  times  a  week  and  bitch  about  their  parents  and  what’s  going  on  in  their  lives  and  bully  each  other  a  lot.  she  comes  home  sometimes,  usually  for  holidays  such  as  thanksgiving  or  whatever.  they’re  overly  sappy  for  a  minute  max  upon  reuniting,  then  she’s  kicking  him  in  the  balls  and  he’s  calling  her  a  dumb  bitch.

his  mom  and  dad  are  divorced,  and  have  been  since  he  was  ten,  so  jerry  is  not  really  in  the  picture.  rick  is  very  relieved  about  this  and  hates  jerry  about  as  much  as  is  typical  for  bastard  grandpas.  morty  was  sad  about  their  messy  break  up,  but  very  quickly  came  to  understand  it  was  for  the  best.  there’s  a  security  system  rick  set  up  to  kick  jerry  to  the  curb  if  he  ever  comes  around,  much  to  morty’s  aggravation,  but  it’s  not  put  to  much  use  anyway.  (usually  he  walks  over  to  his  dad’s  sad  studio  apartment  of  his  own  volition  for  custody  weekend  instead  of  being  picked  up,  because  his  dad  sleeps  until  late  noon,  so.  not  exactly  a  dependable  ride.  if  he  goes  himself  he  can  shake  jerry  awake  at  a  reasonable  hour  and ...  try  to  shake  some  sense  into  him  too.  so  he  doesn’t  come  to  the  house  much.)

c-136′s rick has a complex relationship with his beth.  she’s  still  very  much  wrapped  up  in  his  opinion  of  her  and  works  to  please,  impress  and  ultimately  attain  his  attention  whenever  she  can.  an  easy  way  to  do  this  is  back  rick  up  when  morty  backtalks  him.  if  morty  angrily  says  “shut  the  fuck  up,  rick”  within  earshot  of  his  mother,  she’s  very  quick  to  fly  to  her  father’s  defence  as  apposed  to  her  son’s-  “morty,  don’t  speak  to  my  dad  like  that!”  rick  plays  off  this,  recognizing  an  opportunity  to  make  beth  feel  like  it’s  them  versus  morty,  and  says  “thank  you,  sweetie.”  the  two  then  delve  into  conversation  about  how  morty  is  “out  of  hand”  as  if  he’s  not  even  there,  which  understandably  infuriates  him  further.  

it  hurts  him  a  lot  that  his  mom  is  so  desperate  to  feel  like  her  and  her  dad  get  along,  and  for  him  to  acknowledge  her  existence,  that  she’ll  invalidate  his  feelings  and  bitch  about  his  behavior  with  rick  to  get  it.  he  very  much  feels  like  his  mom  values  having  a  positive  relationship  with  her  dad  over  him  as  a  result.  morty  continues  to  love  and  care  about  her  even  in  spite  of  the  fact  that  it  feels  largely  nonreciprocal  at  the  best  of  times,  but  can  come  across  quite  cold,  dismissive  and  clearly  subconsciously  angry  with  beth  when  talking  about  her  at  times  as  a  result.  don’t  get  me  wrong,  they  go  see  the  occasional  movie  together  and  morty  helps  her  out  preparing  dinner  very  often.  he  cares  deeply  about  his  mom  and  he  loves  her,  of  course  he  does,  but  he's  also  felt  incredibly  estranged  from  her  for  most  of  his  life.  if  nothing  else,  they  can  always  at  least  bond  over  an  eyeroll  at  one  of  his  dad's  latest  fuck  ups  or  stupid  statuses  on  facebook.  there’s  some  stuff  about  his  childhood  i  could  tack  in  here  that’s  relevant,  but  i’m  very  conscious  of  how  long  this  is  and  i  haven’t  even  talked  about  rick  and  morty’s  dynamic  yet ...  adjaskjdfaksf  sorry!

her  alcoholism  worries  morty  whereas  rick  seems  a  little  indifferent  to  it,  or  considers  it  not  a  big  deal.  likely  because  he  knows  it  invites  accusations  of  hypocrisy  if  he  calls  out  her  self  destruction  via  these  vices.  

in  the  past,  morty’s  tried  talking  with  her,  watering  down  and  pouring  out  her  alcohol  stashes,  and  even  pleaded  for  rick  try  and  make  her  see  reason-  to  no  avail.  (his  grandpa  ended  up  cracking  a  joke  about  what  a  fucking  buzzkill  morty  is,  they  laughed  it  off  together,  and  they  both  went  out  for,  you  guessed  it,  a  fucking  drink,  or  more  likely  ten  of  them,  directly  after  the  fact.)

right  now,  beth  c-136  has  been  seeing  a  bartender  for  eleven  months.  rick  seems  to  idly  approve  of  him-  at  the  very  least,  doesn’t  hate  him  like  he  did  jerry,  which  delights  beth.  her  father  deeming  anything  in  her  life  a  good  choice  means  everything  to  her  because  she  fights  so  hard  to  impress  him  while  also  trying  not  to  look  overtly  clingy  and  needy,  because  that  seems  to  repel  him.  also,  he’s  her  genius  father  who  doesn’t  like  anyone,  so  how  the  hell  can  his  judgement  be  wrong,  right?  him  approving  of  this  guy  has  locked  him  into  her  life  for  the  forseeable  future.  again,  this  pisses  morty  off,  because  this  bartender  guy  encourages  his  mom’s  worst  vice  of  daydrinking  with  his  job  and  lifestyle.  he  makes  her  happy,  but  he’s  the  fucking  worst,  and  it  makes  morty  want  to  tear  his  hair  out.  him  and  summer  frequently  snipe  about  the  guy  in  private.  sharing  distaste  for  their  parents’  prospective  partners  is  very  valid  bonding  they  think.

c-136  rick  and  morty's  relationship  is  emotionally  flexible  at  the  best  of  times.  some  days,  so  very  rarely,  they  get  along  just  great.

to  name  one  wholesome  headcanon  before  we  Get  Into  It.  occasionally,  rick  will  pretend  to  know  absolutely  jack  shit  about  one  of  the  plants  in  morty’s  greenhouse  just  to  let  him  go  off  about  it  and  suddenly  seem  excitably  sure  of  himself  for  about  twenty  minutes  of  nonstop  infodumping.  95%  of  the  time  he  knows  absolutely  everything  about  the  plant  he’s  asking  about,  actually,  and  on  some  level  morty  is  absolutely  aware  of  it.  the  smartest  man  in  the  universe  apparently  doesn’t  know  what  a  flaxtius  olcum  is?  right.  but ...  he  still  appreciates  the  gesture  a  lot,  and  it  cheers  him  up  after  a  shitshow  adventure.

it's  not  too  clear  what  allows  these  occasions  of  treating  one  another  with  basic  respect  and  almost  fondness  to  arise-  maybe  his  grandfather's  in  an  uncommonly  gracious  mood,  maybe  they're  playing  minecraft  or  bashing  animal  crossing  together,  maybe  they're  snickering  and  exchanging  incredulous  glances  during  some  cartoonishly  evil  alien's  monologue  of  a  plan  as  it's  dictated  to  them  in  painstaking  detail …  regardless,  those  come  around  less  and  less  often,  these  days.

rick  secretly  considers  morty  to  be  very  capable  and  alarmingly  more  competent  as  of  late,  and  he's  not  sure  whether  to  feel  almost  proud  or  work  to  scramble  to  unravel  all  this progress  lest  morty  start  pulling  away  from  him  and  revelling  in  his  own  independence.  

they're  a  kickass duo  when  adventuring, very  in  sync.  morty's  less  of  a  whiny  burden  or  wide-eyed,  unremarkable  sidekick,  and  more  of  a  borderline  asset  at  this  point.  which  again,  makes  rick  feel  very  conflicted  over  how  that  skews  their  dynamic  in  a  way  that's  less  favorable  for  him,  because  morty  doesn't  need  to  lean  on  him  as  heavily  or  stick  as  close  anymore.  but  at  the  same  time,  there’s  less  inherent  risk  of  him  dying  while  they  adventure,  because  he  handles  himself  so  well.  they  can  split  up  as  needed  to  get  shit  done  faster.  morty  frequently  solo  adventures,  or  as  he  calls  it,  “runs  rick’s  goddamn  errands,  actually.”  he’s  outgrown  the  concept  of  getting  to  choose  an  adventure  and  instead  claims  the  portal  gun  every  twelve  adventures  they  have  together,  and  goes  off  for  one  of  his  own.

morty  speaks  his  mind  very  bluntly  with  rick  and  isn't  really  afraid  to  tell  him  to  get  fucked  when  he's  being  an  unreasonable  dick.  he  resents  rick  immensely  for  putting  him  down  and  pushing  him  around  all  the  time.

morty's  more  assertive,  yet  still  very  much  resigned  to  their  irrefutably  imbalanced  companionship ;  there  are  countless  factors  as  to  why.  but  primarily,  it  tends  to  boil  down  to  feeling  like  he  owes  a  lot  to  rick.  were  it  not  for  his  presence  in  his  life,  morty  knows  deep  down  that  he  wouldn't  be  half  as  interesting  or  even  marginally  as  intelligent  as  he's  capable  of  being  now.  he’d  still  be  stupid,  and  mediocre,  and  uninteresting.  unremarkable.  unworthy  of  anyone’s  attention  or  time  because  of  how  dull  he  is.

he's  at  a  point  where  (to  an  extent)  he  feels  distant  from  his  life  on  earth  at  the  best  of  times,  because  space  and  the  infinite  multiverse  has  encompassed  his  daily  life  for  so  long  and  on  some  level,  he  handles  himself  far  better  fighting  for  his  life  on  the  edge  of  the  universe  than  trapped  in  a  school  full  of  sweaty  teenagers  and  material  he  either  blitzes  through  or  can  barely  grasp.  plus,  rick  was  the  closest  thing  he  ever  had  to  a  friend  while  he  was  growing  up.  morty  cares  about  rick,  even  if  the  older  constantly  cites  reasons  as  to  why  attachment  is  moronic  and  sentiment  is  stupid,  and  he's  aware  that  rick  has  come  to  care  for  him  too-  even  if  all  his  pointed  jabs  about  not  giving  a  shit  and  aloof  front  makes  it  hard  to  believe  that  all  the  time.

the  issue  is,  once  morty  seems  to  waver  in  feeling  that  he  has  to  constantly  acquiesce  to  rick  and  falters  in  tolerating  rick  as  an  result  of  this  obligated  feeling  of  familial  love,  no  matter  how  slightly,  rick  then  begins  to  exert  control  over  their  relationship  by  other  means,  such  as  emotionally  manipulating,  gaslighting  and  outright  blackmailing  him  to  keep  him  in  line  with  what  he  wants  out  of  their  dynamic:  rick  and  morty,  a  hundred  years,  the  only  two  people  in  the  infinite  multiverse  that  truly  matter-  theretofore,  they  should  both  solely  consider  one  another  as  important,  and  worthwhile.  he's  willing  to  tarnish  any  other  connections  morty  might  form  beyond  their  duo  for  fear  of  losing  him.

he  grows  out  of  this  irrational  attachment  a  little  more  each  time  his  grandfather  lets  him  down,  disillusions  him  ever  further,  hurts  him  or  traumatizes  him  or  actively  fucking  experiments  on  him-  slowly  but  surely.  he'll  snap,  in  some  sense,  sometime.  when  exactly  can't  be  known.  what  precise  actions  he  might  take  to  pry  himself  free  of  their  codependent  dynamic  is  unclear.  but  the  way  things  are  headed,  the  two  of  them  splintering  apart  is  inevitable,  and  it's  unlikely  to  be  an  amicable  thing  at  all.  rick  often  actively  renounces  and  appears  repulsed  by  the  very  concept  of  familial  love  and  basic  attachment,  constantly  rants  and  raves  in  his  drunken  stupors  about  how  replaceable  everyone  in  his  life  is,  and  it's  hard  for  morty  to  bite  his  tongue  when  he's  behaving  like  that.

he  just  hates  that  he  feels  badly  about  himself  and  second  guesses  himself  around  rick.  strangely  enough,  when  he’s  having  to  push  through  crazy  shit  alone,  he  does  fine.  great,  even.  sure,  he’s  freaking  out,  making  everything  up  as  he  goes  along,  and  secretly  wishing  rick  was  around  to  guide  him  out  of  the  chaos  because  he  knows  in  his  heart  rick  would  probably  do  it  smarter.  but  once  he’s  with  rick,  he  feels  incapable  and  stupid  beside  him.  like,  being  apart  from  him  makes  him  feel  so  much  lighter,  allows  him  to  lean  on  the  intelligence  he  very  much  does  possess,  without  being  berated,  second  guessing  it,  and  reminded  it’ll  never  match  up  to  rick’s,  so  there’s  really  no  point  in  even  trying.

[charmingcentry]

Beca Doesn’t Drink

Summary: Why Beca avoids drinking, told through tales of Truth or Dare.

AO3

-

The first time Beca participated in a game of Truth or Dare was in the 6th grade during recess. Her friend Stephen Padilla claimed “it was a game all the cool kids played” and forced the brunette to play with a group of children that Beca wasn’t even friends with. The group sat behind the handball wall and at first, the questions were harmless, the brunette was relieved. Until a boy from Beca’s class told her to kiss Stephen, the most cliche dare a kid could ask. The brunette tried to protest but Stephen planted his chapped lips on Beca’s and the brunette pulled away instantaneously. The brunette stood up and ran off to the bathroom to wash her face, Beca was infuriated, that wasn’t even Stephen’s dare!

Beca didn’t mind that she didn’t have friends after that day, she much preferred to be alone rather than being forced to participate in activities she didn’t want to partake in. The brunette spent the rest of elementary school alone, sneaking her MP3 Player outside of the classroom to listen to her music.

-

Senior year, the brunette’s first official friend group, majority being guys and a few girls including Beca. One of those girls, her name was Phoenyx Lee and the brunette could feel that unusual feeling in her stomach whenever she would be around her. The two were considered best friends, although Beca was closest with a guy named William Riate, Phoenyx and Beca would always be around one another. Inside jokes would be shared and the brunette would become flustered whenever Phoenyx would hug Beca or even speak to her and the brunette enjoyed hanging out with the charcoal hair girl. So when Phoenyx invited the group to hang out at her house, Beca accepted the invitation immediately.

Alcohol was involved with the second time when Beca played a game of Truth or Dare. The so-called partier in the group, Sean Miller, stole a bottle of his parent’s whiskey and brought it to the group hangout. The brunette hesitantly accepted a glass of whiskey and soon became tipsy with her group of friends with the exception of William and Hannah - good thing Phoenyx’s parents weren’t home.

The game first suggested was Never Have I Ever, a harmless possible dirty game and tipsy somewhat plastered Beca decided to participate in the game. She still had most of her fingers up by the end of the first round, most of the questions being asked revolving around sex life, romantic relationships, and the weirdest activities ever done. Sean decided the game was a bit boring and to up the stakes, decided to suggest Truth or Dare. Beca’s brain immediately flashed back to Stephen and his chapped lips and although she has had a bad experience with the game, the brunette played anyway after the persuasion of Phoenyx.

The questions thrown around were a bit childish, Sean asking William if he has ever gone to “bonetown” with a girl before for a truth. William immediately said the word no and moved on to the next victim. The male brunette turned to Phoenyx and gave her a dare, daring the female to play the rest of the game with her shirt off. The charcoal hair girl happily complied and the blush rose to Beca’s cheeks when she was left in her bra. The brunette ignored the blush as the game went on.

After not being asked any Truth or Dares, Beca’s other best friend, William, finally asked her. The brunette chose truth and after a couple of minutes of pondering from his end and a whisper from the other girl in the group, Hannah Guerrero, William asked the brunette if she liked anyone. Before Beca could even process of what would be her answer, she blurted out Phoenyx’s name. The group was silent as the Asian girl slowly slipped her shirt back on. The brunette had realized what she just confessed to and immediately put a hand over her mouth.

“Uhm, I- I think it’s best that you all go home,” Phoenyx stated, adjusting the hem of her shirt, clearly side-eyeing Beca. The brunette opened her mouth to say something but no words came out. Instead, she nodded and slipped her shoes back on and waited for William and the others to come by.

Hannah stayed behind with Phoenyx as the rest were driven home by William, no one talked throughout the entire ride of dropping people off at their houses. Soon enough, it was only Beca and William left in the car, the brunette clearly crying in the backseat. William pulled over a couple of blocks down from Beca’s house and unbuckled his seatbelt. He went to Beca in the backseat as the brunette flung her arms around William’s neck as she sobbed heavily on his chest. William hugged the girl as he comforted the somewhat drunk Beca.

“It’s okay, it’s okay. Just… I love you dude, no matter what. I’ll talk to the others about it, don’t worry.”

She woke up with a hangover the next day and the brunette swore off alcohol or drinking ever again.

-

It was a Hood Night party her junior year of college, she sat on a bar stool chair in the Treblemaker’s backyard, taking sips of her water with lemon. The brunette looked over at the rowdy party, everyone plastered with alcohol, dancing the night away. Mostly, her observation skills were focused on a particular redhead who was headbanging and jumping along with the music. The feeling around Chloe reminded Beca of the very ones she had felt for her former best friend Phoenyx and it only made Beca’s resentment for alcohol even worse.

“Hey, Becaw!” Jesse called, taking a seat next to the brunette. He had previously asked out the brunette after their shared kiss at the ICCA’s and when Beca realized her feelings for Chloe, she ended thing between the two, not wanting to lead Jesse on.

“Oh hey, dude,” Beca says, taking another sip of her water. Jesse eyed her water glass, narrowing his eyes. “You drunk? Because you look like you want to fuck my glass of water.”

Jesse laughed. “Nah, the Trebles are heading out after and I was assigned a designated driver. But can I ask you something?” Beca gestured for Jesse to continue on with his question. “Why don’t you drink?”

Beca felt her stomach twist as she’s reminded of the night in senior year with Phoenyx. Her hand began trembling around the glass of water, her eyes immediately looking at Chloe who is now dancing with the new Bella they’ve initiated, Flo. “I- I just overshare too much when I’m drunk and I sort of just don’t want to confess to shit drunk.”

Jesse, not even turning his head over his shoulder stares Beca straight in the eye. “Chloe?” The brunette looked back at Jesse as a small blush spread across her cheeks. “Don’t worry, I get that. Has it uh, happened before?” The brunette nodded.

“I don’t like talking about it. But yes. That’s all I’m saying.” Jesse nodded as he hears Chloe call out to Beca. The brunette immediately springs up and walks over to the redhead with her glass of water.

“Go get ‘em Becaw,” Jesse called after, the brunette shooting up her middle finger high up in the air.

So yeah, Beca doesn’t drink anymore. But it’s for the best.

-

Back in the hotel room after Beca’s performance with the Bellas, the group is sat in one hotel room, reminiscing on the past. No alcohol is involved, just the regular old Bellas, sitting around and sharing laughs. Everyone is dressed in their pajamas, it took Beca nearly an hour to remove all the makeup and undo her hair when she arrived back at the hotel with the Bellas. The brunette is sitting on the bed with Chloe, Emily, and Aubrey as the rest are scattered across the room, somehow not passing out from exhaustion.

“You guys wanna play truth or dare?” Emily asks out of the blue, a smile spreading across her face. Everyone happily agreed except for Beca who reluctantly agreed to play when Chloe begged her to play. The Bellas squeezed themselves onto the queen-sized bed as Emily started, the first truth or dare being aimed at Flo.

The game is filled with laughs and playful questions, it’s the first time Beca is enjoying herself in a game of Truth or Dare. Fat Amy just confessed to illegal alligator wrestling, Flo told her tale about coming to America, Aubrey confessed having a crush on the Unicycle guy from the Trebles a couple of years ago - many of the Bellas called her out on her hypocrisy. Stacie ran down the hallway of their floor back and forth, knocking on two doors and immediately ran back in the Bellas’ hotel room, and Jessica confessed to her relationship with Ashley which induced a lot of squeals of excitement and Fat Amy immediately coming up with a name for the two. The round switches over to Chloe.

“Bec… truth or dare.” Beca quirked up an eyebrow as she snatched a gummy bear from Emily who went to the vending machine earlier.

“Uh, truth.” A collective groan came from the group, so far many people have chosen truth except for Stacie who still was full of adrenaline from running down the hall.

“Why don’t you drink?”

People begin adding in their comments. “That’s right… every time at a party you’re always ordering virgin versions of our drinks or water.” Stacie chimes in

“Yeah, even at hood night, you never drink. And that’s like the best party to get drunk at.” Cynthia-Rose adds, leaning in a bit

Beca gulps as the name Phoenyx flashes in her head. She could taste the whiskey lingering in her mouth from that hang out with friends, she could see how Phoenyx was quick to put her shirt back on. Tears swell up in her eyes as the brunette clears her throat, remembering how she cried in William’s arms. “Well… when I get drunk I tend to overshare. And sometimes I share stuff that is supposed to be kept secret from people and then I sort of… regret it after.”

Beca breathes in and lets out a shaky breath. “Senior year I had a crush on a girl, her name was Phoenyx. We went to her house and a friend of ours brought whiskey and we drank except for two people. We played a game of truth or dare and someone asked me who I liked. I said Phoenyx and she hasn’t spoken to me since.” The brunette presses the heel of her palm against her eyes. “She was my best friend and just because I got drunk I lost her.” The brunette removes her hands from her eyes and stares in Chloe’s general direction. “So I vowed to never drink because I was scared that I would say something like that and lose one of you guys…”

Lilly, or Ester, is the first to hug Beca as everyone else continues to pile in, giving the brunette yet another group hug similar to the one after they were rescued from Amy’s father. They pull away and Beca stands to excuse herself. “Continue playing, I’ll be out on the balcony.”

The brunette walks to the end of the room where the balcony is located and opens the sliding door. She closes the door behind her and slides the curtain to cover the Bellas’ view to look outside. Beca leans on the railing as she admires the view from their hotel room, tomorrow they would be going to visit some places they have yet to then the day after is their final day. The brunette admires the stars above until she hears the door behind her open. She looks behind and sees Chloe, moving aside the curtain.

“Nice view tonight huh.” The redhead says, standing next to Beca, leaning on the railing as well. The brunette stares at Chloe and smiles before turning her head back to the sky.

“Yeah.” She hears Chloe take a deep breath

“Were you afraid of losing me Beca?” The brunette turns her head back around, finding Chloe’s bright blue eyes within the dark lighting, the street lamps below and the stars above being the only source of light. “You said you were scared of losing one of us and kind of looked at me… was it me?”

Beca tugs at her bottom lip. “Yeah. It is.” She remains her gaze on Chloe. “I was just scared that whatever happened with Phoenyx would’ve happened with you.”

Chloe moves closer to the brunette. “I would’ve done the opposite.” Beca raises an eyebrow when the redhead leans in closer to Beca. “I would’ve… kissed you probably.” She whispers into the brunette’s ear.

The brunette gulps and notices Chloe pull away, her face just a breath away from hers. “You drunk Beale?” Chloe laughs and rolls her eyes playfully.

“No, I’m just saying the truth.” The redhead smiles. “I really, really like you Beca. Ever since I met you.”

“Holy shi- I mean… I really like you too.” The two don’t notice the conversations and laughter have died down from inside the hotel room.

The two stand there in silence, staring into each other’s eyes. Before Beca knows it, Chloe is kissing her and the brunette is kissing her back. Chloe’s arms wrap around the brunette’s waist and Beca’s arms wrap around her neck. The silence from the room turns into cheers and squeals of excitement. Beca and Chloe pull away for a second and notice a few Bellas through a little opening of the curtain.

“Come on… I think they want to continue the game.” Chloe says, arms still wrapped around the petite brunette.

“Or they wanna see us kissing… it’s probably gonna be dare y’know?” Beca adds

“They’ll probably be happy about that…”

They pull their arms away and Chloe slips her hand into Beca’s, walking back inside the hotel room.

This is definitely the most fun Beca has had during a game of Truth or Dare.

[freedom-of-fanfic]

an unfunny joke about antis

the funny thing about bullies - especially self-righteous bullies that travel in packs, such as antis - is that 99.8% of the time they come out on top of any conflict they get into. 

and holy hell, it’s fucking infuriating when it’s not completely exhausting. we all like to see clapback at people who don’t play fair and treat others like shit. when someone is really nasty and abusive - when they’re chronically mean and dangerous and seemingly untouchable - it’s easy to yearn for their comeuppance and want to see them know they’re beat. we want the fear and shame and guilt bullies and abusers spread around revisited on their own head so they understand how awful a person they’ve been.

but realistically: you’ll never see a bully/abuser/anti doubt or question themselves. you’ll never see them backtrack with sincerity. you’ll never successfully shame them out of their behavior or devastate their confidence with your logic and consistency, because successful bullies - by definition - will always be less empathetic, more shameless, and more self-serving than anyone they have the power to abuse.

you will never beat a bully at the shame game. bullies live that game. shaming others is the source of their social power; they know (at least subconsciously) that flinching is game over. when someone points out their behavior is something shameful, they have to excuse or deflect or dismiss it: else, they lose. They deserved it. they hurt me first. who cares what you have to say? 

and if you don’t have the direct authority to punish a bully, why should they care? abusers thrive in this world because they’ve decided the ethics and empathy that guide social rules don’t apply to them. Ethical people have lines they cannot cross without violating their sense of what’s right: abusers trample those lines, doing whatever serves them best, because they’re not obligated to care.

maybe it seems unthinkable they’d get away with it … but in general, our social networks have an inbuilt ‘get out of jail free’ card for abusers. we have to trust others are following the same social rules we are. when we don’t trust that, it’s actually worse. (we get … well, present-day tumblr, probably.) but that very trust makes society blind to behavior that crosses lines - it’s too unthinkable that anyone would do that. innocent until proven guilty. and that doubt protects abusers who are willing to pretend they too are trusting, caring people who follow the rules.

in fact, bullies care more about setting down social rules than anyone because they limit the behavior of everyone other than themselves. Rules set boundaries for ethical people. trust that those rules will be followed blinds people to all but the most blatant rule-breaking behavior. and when bullies lay down the rules, the rules themselves are often designed to encourage and shelter abusers.

I believe this is why the worst abusers so often turn out to be the most vocal activist, the most upright churchgoer, the politician with the anti-abuse platform. Such bullies do, in fact, truly advocate for everyone following the standards of behavior they support … except themselves.* These abusers are free to jump in and out of bounds whenever it suits their needs, making them all but impossible to call out. They harass and threaten and torment their targets, exploiting the victims’ trust and sense of obligation to protect the bully from exposure. but the moment a target retaliates, abusers are the first to call them out for bad behavior, damaging the victim’s reputation and improving their own without compunction, sympathy, or remorse.**

Perhaps the most ironic part is that the higher the standard of behavior the bully advocates for, gatekeeps, and regularly violates, the more powerful and invulnerable they become and the more blatant and open their two-faced behavior can be.  Their hypocrisy is only remarkable to people who know what standards they supposedly uphold and demand of others. To everyone else the standards themselves are absurd. so what if a person falls short sometimes? why do you care? why are you surprised?

This is the social loophole that bullies and abusers in the anti-shipping movement exploit - and there are a lot of abusive anti-shippers. As the self-declared fandom/shipping police, tasking themselves with creating rules of conduct and aiming to enforce them by shaming, guilting, and threatening dissenters, anti culture by nature attracts the best shame game players - bullies and abusers - and draws them into its ranks. 

unhampered by social obligation or a need to play fair, abusers rapidly rise to the top of policing communities like anti-shipping. already governed only by their own convenience, an abuser will never suffer from concerns of going ‘too far’; therefore, the loyalty of an abuser to a cause that gives them licence to abuse will never come into question. their gleeful eagerness to punish, lack of sympathy for their targets, and their willingness to come down hard even on other antis is both admired and feared. everyone wants to be their friend to insure their inevitable slip-ups due to self-conflicting rules are forgiven, unwittingly putting themselves in debt to a person who will never let them forget it.

so who’s left to call a hypocrite out, even when their hypocrisy is open and blatant? at least subconsciously aware that the the only real tethers on behavior in spaces where authority is nonexistent - tumblr, twitter, etc - are empathy and shame, abusers do their level best to evoke those feelings in everyone around them while being completely free of those feelings themselves. they cannot be shamed by anyone; they don’t play fair and they don’t show sympathy if it doesn’t serve their needs.

In short: as long as a bully’s opponent gives even the slightest fuck about playing fair, being kind, and giving the benefit of the doubt, they will never out-bully a bully.

the point of this long-winded post is this: 

if you’re hoping for some creator to smack antis down; if you’re sitting in front of your computer, jaw dropped, as antis flock to the dmcb fandom and set up their absurd rules despite the source material being in conflict with everything antis supposedly stand for; if you see anti-shipper victims sharing how they were driven to suicide attempts and think ‘surely this time antis will be conscience-striken’: the reality is that anti-shippers will never apologize, will never admit to hypocrisy, and will never take ownership of the consequences of their actions. 

bullies always come up smelling like roses because they know social rules are actually nigh-unenforceable. They only apply to the abuser if the abuser chooses to abide by the rules, and why would they limit themselves like that?

and if you don’t like it, there’s nothing you can do about it. 

that’s the joke. (i’m not laughing either.)

*and the louder bullies support the cause of vulnerable people, the more unthinkable it is that they would ever exploit vulnerability themselves. 

**this is a wildly successful technique abusers use for self-protection. it accomplishes many things at once:

it feeds the abuser’s deluded worldview wherein their target is the badguy and the abuser is their hapless victim. (this is how abusers justify abuse most of the time: they have to act outside the rules to protect themselves!)

puts the spotlight on the victim, magnifying their errors and minimizing/erasing the effect of the abuser’s provocation

the victim feels ashamed for their behavior; even if they realize they wer provoked, they are ethically bound to acknowledge what they did was wrong (and the abuser will hold it against them for eternity)

the victim may be successfully gaslighted into doubting that their actions were provoked or warranted

if the victim attempts to act against their abuser’s interest in the future, their credibility is now damaged/doubtful

if the abuser can’t pull off looking squeaky-clean to others, tarnishing their target’s reputation makes outsiders less likely to come to their aid, excusing the abusive dynamic as ‘mutual.’

[gazzhowie]

My Top 25 Movies of 2020.

It is indeed time… or at least, as is tradition, it is indeed now overdue for me to dust off the cobwebs from my Tumblr account and post my Top 25 movies of the year. This time for 2020. That funny old year, huh? Where - if some are to be stupidly believed - “no films got released because of the pandemic”.

I thought I was done with this after 12 years and concluding with my Top 25 of the decade effort and yet here I am. Back rather egotistically because 2 people told me how much they look forward to reading this. Go figure! Years 2008 through to present are available in the archive. Frequent visitors know that I’ll throw out a few special mentions to all the films that I wish I could’ve included but couldn’t make them fit yet believe they deserve a shout out regardless and then I get stuck in to what I think are the 25 best films of the year.

As always, films listed are based on their UK release date whether that’s in the cinema or on DVD, VOD etc. Anyway, without further ado, here’s the ‘also-rans’ and ‘near-misses’ separated per genre that very nearly made the final list:

Setting my stall out straight away, Steve McQueen’s Small Axe was very much TV to me and won’t get ranked within my film listing. I loved two of the efforts a great deal (Education and Mangrove), liked two but found them lacking (Red, White & Blue and Alex Wheatle) and did not get what everyone else seems to from the other (Lover’s Rock).

In terms of documentaries this year, I thought Frank Marshall did a fabulous job with The Bee Gees: How Can You Mend A Broken Heart; a comprehensive study of the personal complexities and professional excellence of an incredibly underappreciated band. I found On The Record to be a difficult but inspiring watch and its background ‘politics’ exposed the hypocrisy of Ava DuVernay and Oprah Winfrey in a manner we’re not talking loud enough about. Hitsville: The Making of Motown was an extensive, lovely historical tribute to an era and a style of music, full of great tunes and equally great talking head anecdotes. And finally Belushi managed to find fresh angles and previously untold stories about one of the most mythologised comedy stars of all time, simply by pulling the man to the forefront ahead of his talents.

For dramas, I enjoyed Trial of the Chicago 7 a great deal and am an absolute sucker for the work of Aaron Sorkin but bad casting (Eddie Redmayne) and stunt casting (Sacha Baron Cohen) hurt this film. I’m a sucker for a disaster movie and Pål Øie made an incredibly entertaining one with the Norwegian high-melodrama, The Tunnel. Edward Norton’s long-gestating Motherless Brooklyn was a solid, old-fashioned PI yarn with some great casting to back it up. It’s the most alive Bruce Willis has been in years and it served to remind you that Alec Baldwin can be quite the terrific actor when he’s not being an utter joke of a human. I liked The Vast of Night a great deal when in the throes of watching it but liked it less in the aftermath. Cut Throat City was the underrated dramatic gem of the year in a lot of ways and showed that RZA has a great deal of skill as a legit filmmaker, when not being caught up in the ‘gimmicks’. O.G finally landed here via Sky Atlantic of all places, rather than any sort of VOD release, and it was an enthralling drama that served to remind us all how brilliant Jeffrey Wright can be when not overacting to the point of cringe or being stuck with really terrible writing (hello, TV’s Westworld!).

With the blockbuster season at the cinema all but dead from the outset, the joys of the action genre were to be found in the little b-movies tucked away on streaming platforms and VOD. Quick notable exceptions were The Outpost which was a reminder that Rod Lurie can deliver a hell of an action sequence, blighted by truly awful film-damaging casting and Extraction which was a well-directed derivative piece of hokum. Donnie Yen delivered an earnest, entertaining end to one of the surprise action franchises of the last decade with IP Man 4 that not even Scott Adkins could fuck up. Hack director Deon Taylor accidentally delivered Black and Blue; a pretty good ode to the ‘man on the run’ non-stop action thrillers of the 80s and 90s – with Naomi Harris killing it in the lead role. Netflix tucked away two of the greatest b-movie actioners of 2020 with The Decline (a ‘Doomsday Preppers’ training camp goes horribly wrong) and Earth & Blood (a sawmill owner uses his place of work as a battleground to take on the cartel). And, finally, the Ma Dong-seok (aka Don Lee) Taken rip-off Unstoppable arrived to streaming and turned out to be vastly superior to all of the films it was a knock-off of.

It was a great year for horror, especially if you were open to the sort of scares you were after. Sea Fever didn’t stick the landing but delivered an ace sense of foreboding and tension building for the most part. Harpoon was a sneakily nasty, surprisingly engrossing, violent little film. VFW was a lot of fun but nowhere near as good as its concept and cast suggested it was going to be. It’s also been subsequently marred by the stories coming out of its production and the revelations about Fred Williamson. I thought Come To Daddy was an absolute gift of a horror comedy that kept swerving whenever you thought you had a handle on where it was going. And Elijah Wood continues to show himself to be an American national treasure. After Midnight was an intriguing relationship drama with a horror bent and You Should Have Left, the Stir of Echoes reunion we’ve all long sought, would work as an off-kilter double-bill with it. Kevin Bacon is brilliant in it. Vampires Vs The Bronx is a totally disposable but immensely fun ode to The Lost Boys and The Monster Squad that’ll serve you well on a lazy Saturday night. Black Water: Abyss was a really good little creature feature with a ridiculous ending that infuriates. And Train To Busan: Pennisular was a pretty shit Train to Busan sequel but an immensely entertaining post-apocalyptic zombie action movie.

Onwards is worth mentioning for the fun and moving animated ride it initially presents as but, like too much Pixar nowadays, it does not hold up to repeat viewing.

Comedy-wise, I thoroughly enjoyed Bill & Ted Face The Music but thought its gag-rate was far too hit and miss for it to take a place on the top spot. Buffaloed was a kind of “M’eh” blue-collar Wolf of Wall Street with yet another fantastic ‘How the fuck isn’t she a huge star already’ turn from Zoey Deutch. Timmy Failure: Mistakes Were Made was a quirky out-of-leftfield oddity that me and my eldest son enjoyed a great deal. Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga was not the travesty you would’ve thought it’d be, mainly because of Rachel McAdams, but if Will Ferrell had just leaned a little harder towards his more absurdist style of humour (the killer fairy shit for example?) this could have been so much more. Finally, the second Borat film had some utterly majestic moments of cringe-comedy that make it worthy of a mention but the mechanics of joke-execution and faked set-pieces were far more on show this time around.

And now, if you’re still hanging in there that is, here is my actual Top 25 films of 2020…

25. Skyfire

I don't know whether it's because I’ve been starved of my usual 'Summer Silly Season' this year but I absolutely fucking LOVED this. It's the stupidest, most ridiculous, relentlessly bonkers "Jurassic Park - but with volcanos" fare you could ask for. I have no idea what the fuck Jason Isaac is doing in this but I’m so glad he is because it just adds to the glorious WTF-ery of it all. It's 30 minutes of mechanical lay-up followed by 60 minutes of non-stop, audacious carnage. It's been a long time since me and my wife have had this much fun watching something.

24. Bad Education

Dropped exclusively to Sky Cinema here, this is a great little film that has a shocking true story at its centre. Hugh Jackman and Allison Janney are absolutely terrific. Both of them are the sort of talents who've been in bad movies but never ever given a bad performance regardless.

Here both Jackman and Janney are having a ball with the material and they elevate a very good film into something that demands to be seen.

23. Blood Quantum

This was definitely one of the first-class b-movie horrors of the year for me. It does wonders on screen with very little AND it gives a shot in the arm to the zombie subgenre. It leads you into thinking you're getting yet another zombie-breakout film before expertly wrongfooting you into growing into something else. It's a Native American NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD meets MAD MAX!

22. Bad Boys For Life

This was a first-rate blast, it really was. From the inexplicable reusing of the 'Simpson/Bruckheimer' production card to the reworking of Mark Mancina's original theme, it draws you straight back to that 1990s blockbuster vibe. It's not just very funny and stacked with some pretty decent action sequences but, rather bizarrely, it actually has something interesting to say about ageing and masculinity... because nowadays Joe Carnahan is killing it when it comes to introspective recalibrations on what it means to be a man. If you were to spoil this movie for someone and reveal what the "twist" is it would sound like the stupidest, hokiest shit ever. And yet inexplicably they make it work. And furthermore, Martin Lawrence goes from the tag-along in this franchise to the platinum level MVP here. The entire final third is held up higher by his insanely good line delivery ("Would you fuck a witch without a condom?") and it's most likely how he plays shit as to why that stupid, hokey plot twist works as well as it does.

Over the course of three separate decades each BAD BOYS entry has, in itself, served to be a somewhat accidentally perfect reflection of the very cinematic decade it landed in: The first is possibly one of the last to truly and wholeheartedly successfully land that perfect marriage between the 'MTV era' and the blockbusters; bringing about the boom of the "music video director as filmmaker" that the 1990s became well known for. The second was a pitch perfect reflection of the gratuitous, often empty-headed, completely excessive pop culture period we were birthing in the 2000s. And the third lands now, right in the very time period where masculinity is being put under a spotlight and men are being asked to be more self-reflective about themselves and their conduct.

With that said, the fourth will obviously therefore land sometime in 2029 and deal with Will Smith and Martin Lawrence wandering a pandemic-ravaged Miami wasteland.

21. Wolfwalkers

This is one of the most lovely, visually wondrous, sumptuous animated films you'll experience this year. Or in quite some time, actually. It’s not just a great adventure film but it’s also a really effective ‘message’ movie that manages to teach about tolerance and friendship along with the perils of fear-mongering, without ever being overly preachy.

20. An American Pickle

This was one of the surprises of the year for me; I THOUGHT I was getting a quirky Seth Rogen fish-out-of-water comedy and instead I got that... with a massive dollop of heart, humour and interesting things to say about legacy and 'cancel culture'. I liked it a lot. It's also further evidence of how intriguing a talent Seth Rogen is becoming; jumping between broad commercial fare and original off-kilter stuff like this, producing and developing fascinating projects for film and TV and working to pass the ladder back down to others too.

19. Get Duked

I say this with only a modicum of bias as I know someone who worked a little bit on this film but this was genuinely brilliant - the absolute laugh-out-loud delight we all need right now. At the time I watched this I don’t think I’d smiled in nearly a fortnight but this broke through with me. Its wrap-up is a little too silly for its own good but that aside, this thing is absolutely stuffed with some TRULY great gags! This is one of the best comedies of the year for me.

18. Host

I had been giving this the big ol' swerve because it sounded like unoriginal, overhyped pish frankly and... fuck it, if that hype isn't absolutely deserved: It's a lean, effective, scary incredibly enjoyable ride. Made all the more fascinating by the fact it was made remotely on a shoestring with the director apparently never being in the same room as his cast at any one time due to Covid restrictions.

NB: I could not find a GIF to represent Rob Savage’s Host sufficiently so here’s Jack Black doing a backyard pandemic dance instead... 

17. Sweetheart

What a crackin, lean, little horror thriller it is. It gets straight underway from its fade-up and never overcooks itself or leans hard on lazy exposition, silly character actions or bad deus ex machinas. Remember when Jonathan Mostow made BREAKDOWN and it felt like such a shot in the arm for the man-against-the-odds/standard thriller? This is like that - but for survival dramas and creature features! It commits fully to its high concept, helped along by a truly excellent performance by Kiersey Clemons and some really well-delivered set-pieces (that first flare scene is very well done!). If you watched Tom Hanks in CASTAWAY and thought to yourself "This film is great but what it really needs is a monster!" then this is definitely the film for you. And if you believe the rumours, it’s allegedly a sneaky Creature From The Black Lagoon redo for Blumhouse’s expanding ‘Monster Universe’ too.

16. Soul

I really connected with this. I like Inside Out a great deal but I’ve never understood why it's spoken of as a flawless masterpiece when it's overlong, tonally all over the place and has clunky as fuck casting. In the same breath, I don't understand why the reviews for this are so disparate. I thought it was a wonderful way to spend 100+ minutes. It was visually inventive, funny and inspiring. It doesn't quite seed its VERY deep otherworld-building foundations and Graham Norton doesn't really work in his role but overall I thought it was a delight. And, unlike Onwards, it really does lend itself to repeat visits.

15. Tenet

I had real trepidation about seeing this what with the reviews being all over the place but... well... Is it complete, barely comprehensible bunkum of the highest order? Yes. Could the film have benefited from Nolan letting his brother Jonathan have a pass at the script? Hell yes! Is it most definitely not the majestic masterpiece of masterpieces it thinks it is? Yup. Yet in spite of ALL that I had an absolute blast with it, I really did. If you give it a seconds thought it crumbles completely as the utter egotistical piffle it really is. But where it excels is in looking so gorgeous, being so kinetic and massive with its action and casting with actors who sell the shit out of a hokey script that you're so consumed with the spectacle you don't smell the bullshit until its over. Washington Jr has come out of nowhere these last few years to make me a big fan of his work - and Robert Pattinson has went from being an actor I couldn't fucking abide to being someone I now really rate and who I came away from watching this thinking "Yeah, that's your goddamn perfect James Bond right there!"

14. Da 5 Bloods

It works infinitely better as a 'men on a mission' action adventure shot through the off-kilter lens of a Spike Lee "joint" then it does as a searing commentary about race, war, etc. And that's probably why Spike's choice to include real war atrocity photos and documentary footage alongside the narrative doesn't land as successfully as he probably intended it to. But as an overall film, it's a genuinely great watch. Delroy Lindo has always been one of the greatest working actor. Here he perhaps delivers his ultimate masterclass. Regardless of whether awards season moves online or not, you cannot have any SERIOUS dialogue during it that doesn't have his performance heading the conversation. Ignore the dickheads online putting this in the same bubble as TROPIC THUNDER or DIE HARD (??). This is a wink and a nod to TREASURE OF THE SIERRA MADRE and APOCALYPSE NOW, through and through. It's big, bombastic, broad and unafraid to swing out in every direction. It's not flawless but that doesn't mean it's not fuckin ~great~!

13. His House

This very much stands as both one of the most impressive debuts and modern horror movies I’ve seen in quite some time. It's an effective, lean, interesting film that buries under your skin and takes up residency there. Go into it knowing as little as you possibly can and then let it scare the shit out of you and, in its reveals, kick the shit back into you.

12. Tread

I really, REALLY liked this. It's my favourite documentary film of this year - made by that fella who did the bonkers-bad killer dog in the warehouse movie with Adrian Brody, no less! It's an absolutely fascinating true story I knew nothing about, brilliantly intermingling talking heads, archival news footage, dramatic reconstruction and audio recordings. It'll really drop your jaw - it's most definitely one of those 'needs to be seen to be believed' type deals because if you described this to someone as having happened they'd never believe you!

11. Bacarau

No plot description really does this film justice and the less you know going in the better an experience you’ll have. It’s an odd, deeply violent, unsettling, darkly funny, bizarro confection of The Most Dangerous Game meets Assault on Precinct 13 and… well… even that doesn’t really do the film any justice whatsoever. It’s a critique of dire political circumstance mixed with political satire mixed with the tropes of the Western, the siege movie and both horror and comedy. It’s very much its own thing. And that’s what makes it so wonderous.

... and it’s sort of both wondrous AND weird that when searching for Bacarau related GIFs, this was the Brazilian offering I was given! I apologise.

10. Alone

I found this came out of nowhere to be one of my favourite films of the year; a crazily efficient, brutal B-movie without an inch of fat on it that works its propulsive and well-structured screenplay hard to make you feel like you're seeing a new variant on the "stalked woman in peril" film. John Hyams - son of Peter and the man who reconfigured the UNIVERSAL SOLDIER franchise to superb effect - has made one hell of an effective movie that beautifully captures the vastness of the Pacific Northwest: this is one part DUEL, one part FIRST BLOOD, all parts odes to everything from THE GREY, I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE and the last third of THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS. It's very easy to make films like this. But it's clearly hard to make them as great as Hyams has done here, otherwise everyone would be doing it. Maybe coz what those films don't have is lead performances as strong and brilliant as Jules Willcox and Marc Menchaca give here.

9. American Murder: The Family Next Door

This is an incredibly powerful true crime documentary on a horrific tragedy, in which Jenny Popplewell tightly and clinically weaves through police interviews, news coverage and Shanann Watts' phone, laptop and social media to weave a moving and ultimately devastating portrait of her and her children's death at the hands of one of the worst forms of evil I’ve ever been exposed to. This still haunts me to this day.

8. Greyhound

I was really impressed with this. A crisp, lean, tension-drenched watch with yet another rock solid Tom Hanks performance centring it. It strips back all the tropes of these war pictures - the character backstories about post-war hopes and dreams, the cutaways to the families back home, the subplots involving the villains - and keeps a propulsive commitment to just this situation, this boat and the people on it; who only talk to one another about the job they're doing. As a result, it's completely involving and committed with action set-pieces that are clean, tense and entertaining as hell. Genuinely had a great time watching this and highly recommend it.

7. #Alive

Whilst the TRAIN TO BUSAN sequel earned rightfully shakey reviews, think of this as an unofficial prequel / 'side-sequel'. It is a tight, disciplined thrill-ride that throws up some interesting spins on old zombie set-pieces (climbing zombie vs. toy drone, for example). It may well deflate as it heads to its denouement but all before it was strong and entertaining enough for it to stand as one of his favourite horrors from this year.

6. The Invisible Man

This started good... then got very good... then got quite frankly flat-out tremendous and then entered a final third flipping anyone the 'bird' who thought that the trailers gave too much away. There is some truly tremendous, inventive and not at all 'cheap' jump scares. In fact, the whole second act is nothing else BUT terrifically effective scare after scare. All bolstered by a REALLY committed lead performance by Elizabeth Moss. Between this and UPGRADE, Leigh Whannell has not only become seriously one to watch but he's possibly just outed himself as John Carpenter's one-true heir.

5. Lynn + Lucy

I was left completely broken by this - what a truly fantastic piece of British cinema; a dark, uncompromising morality play for the modern age with a truly jaw-dropping performance by Nicola Burley. And, Jesus Christ, what an unbelievable find Roxanne Scrimshaw is?? THIS is her acting debut? Holy SHITBALLS! It's harrowing stuff that'll really make you think.

4. Parasite

This really is absolutely ~everything~ people are claiming it to be and more too! It's an exquisite piece of work, in love with the art of spinning out a story, narrative layers, sociological parables and effortlessly terrific direction. It builds and builds in an utterly enthralling manner and then... the pressure valve pops, taking you down a whole other audacious avenue that'll have you giggling at the insanity but still completely hooked.

3. Uncut Gems

It’s alright been memed and GIF’d to death but that doesn’t change the fact that it really is an astounding film - it's completely exhausting and quite honestly one of the most anxiety-inducing films I’ve seen in a long, long time. Even on multiple go-arounds, I found myself screaming at the screen, begging Adam Sandler's character to just fucking STOP for five seconds and... and... it's inescapable as to the direction down in which it heads but it goes there at such a propulsive rate, it is actually scary. An absolutely astounding film - it's like a John Cassavetes film shot with the adrenaline drawn from a Michael Bay action movie... and believe every bit of the buzz: Adam Sandler is jaw-droppingly fucking excellent in this!

2. Wolf of Snow Hollow

I thought this was a complete delight. Once again Jim Cummings has taken a film 'type' you THINK you know and infused it with his own very specific sense of humour to give us something that's very much delightfully off-kilter. What's more, as a sophomore directing effort, Cummings deserves all the plaudits for the massive advancement: There's action scenes and scary set-pieces that are really first rate and are way more accomplished than what you'd expect from someone only on their second movie and have never worked in the horror genre before. Cummings is REALLY funny in the lead role too but it's Robert Forster's final performance that'll break your heart. He was a hard miss anyway but this very much drives home what a great guy we've lost.

1.     The Way Back

Gavin O'Connor has hit the trifecta with this, Miracle and Warrior on making a masterful sports drama and using it as a platform to 'say something' and draw a career best from a talented but under-appreciated actor (first Kurt Russell, then Nick Nolte and now Ben Affleck).

Affleck is astounding here. Fallible, real and pained. He's truly brilliant. There’s a realism to every movement he makes and every breath he exhales that only someone who has struggled with addiction will recognise. And around him is a deconstruction of the sporting underdog movie as we know it - it's only by the end that we truly realise that this has always been about the connections made through the game rather than the game itself.

Like with Warrior, you can go back and watch this umpteen times and find different strokes in the human and unspoken moments. If ever there was a secretly feel-good film for 2020 it is this – the movie that tells us that it doesn’t matter how hard or how far we fall, we are defined only by the moments in which we rise again.

And that’s that. See you all next year. Maybe ;) 

[pilferingapples]

and my slightly more in depth running livebloggy reaction to the Revolutions Podcast on the June Revolt/Uprising/Insurrection, under a cut for Long: 

--Starts out flat out quoting Victor Hugo and then going "does any of this sound familiar? No , probably not" YOU DON'T KNOW ME PODCAST GUY

- oh nooooo Pre-Intro Hugo Lit Theory,  I am. Dying. 

-HE WAS ALREADY THE LEADING LIGHT OF ROMANTICISM BEFORE NDDP THAT'S WHY WHAT HE WROTE MATTERED SO MUCH DON’T MAKE ME GO TO THE CHARTS -ít's okay! I'm okay! I CAN DO THIS I CAN COPE (but not without venting constantly so like) 

-yeah it's a good coda for the 1830 revolution/connection to 1848 and oh gosh I need to listen to that series

-1830: Recount: I HATE LIBERAL BOURGIE OPPOSITION SO MUCH - LAFAYETTE YOU FOOL YOU CAN'T BE A REPUBLICAN ROYALIST. AAAAAH

-1830 breaks my heart forever y'all

- at least this podcast is making a point to highlight the hypocrisy 

-FRIENDS OF THE PEOPLE SHOUTOUT 

-s/o to the people who heckled Louis Philippe on his Triumphant Procession 

- "it's not accurate to say they were ever disillusioned with the July monarchy because that would imply they were ever illusioned in the first place" SNAP 

-"how do we Not Kill Polignac" The Real Questions - "the streets of Paris really super wanted to execute Polignac" pffft  -love all the mention of these mini-riots   - Why Can't We Just Stab Polignac  -Lafayette you are and were a fucking sucker.  - LAFITTE WHAT THE HELL  - heyo, specifics on the tax rates for suffrage!  -I like how the government 100 percent sides with the property classes and then cries about moderation and compromise , that's always a Winner and Super Cool and not infuriating at all  - It's Always the Cholera

-Good Lamarque minibio there! -honestly surprised by how much of the logic in the revolt is happening here  -...cannot believe they were still planning to make Lafayette president. I mean I know they WERE but also like...why.  - ..dubious about the dragoons scenario still. Like I've seen way too many conflicting accounts to be sure of Who Shot First in either direction. - Podcast Guy : "and then everyone  spontaneously broke out into unified song that everyone somehow knew the lyrics to even though they had never rehearsed!"  like I get that it's a little joke and I appreciate the hat tip to LM but also I would be zero shocked to learn that happened  - WHY DOES ANYONE TRUST LAFAYETTE TO TAKE THE LEAD ON THE REVOLUTION. HE IS BAD AT THIS. - THANK YOU for admitting that the revolutionaries were not stupid for thinking this was plausible  - dammit National Guard  - and TO HELL WITH THE FRIGGING RESPECTABLE LEFT-ISH OPPOSITION  -RAAAAAGE 

-thnx Delacroix's Aunt for not throwing out The Painting