#Instead of having to hide who they are to protect themselves

[lxchadora]

The fact that Kyleigh had knives on her was like a ray of sunlight in times like those. Rosita had been worried that when the time came, they would be damned if they got into a situation where they couldn’t escape from the dead and had to fight. She hadn’t managed to smuggle any weapons from that camp. Hadn’t had the guts to risk it. Maybe she should’ve - she was part of the military and could’ve taken advantage of her position - but it was too late to lament choices not taken. With all the knives Kyleigh had, everyone could be equipped with at least one weapon.

“You sure didn’t get where you are by pure luck”, Rosita spoke with an approving smile. Seeing the face of the other two, she added, “None of us did. And we’ll make sure we keep doing what we’re doing.”

Now the weapons part was mostly covered, at least. In case things went south, they had a firearm, too. Rosita was quick to ask Irina if she was capable of using it, and Irina was just as quick to hand the gun to Rosita who stored it in a pocket sleeve of her jacket and assured Irina she could handle a gun, having gone through basic military training that taught her everything she needed to know about using firearms.

At Kyleigh’s mention of a brick being a possible weapon, Warren’s curiosity grew, and he seemed fascinated with the idea, beginning to list off a few ways in which a brick could be utilized into a makeshift weapon with a hint of excitement. Irina added that she would rather not want to use a knife, but preferred something long-ranged instead. Warren didn’t seem too fond with the idea of using knives either, adding that knives could get stuck or break.

“Lug wrenches are a great idea. They’re durable, almost unbreakable”, Rosita brought up. “And some of them have pointed edges that would make it easier to get through a skull. We should carry both, though, just in case. Knives are a bit quieter than wrenches. I’d say it’s time we move ahead and check the building. We can always get a wrench later, there’s plenty of abandoned cars in the area.”

She saw that Warren wasn’t fond of the idea of having to use a knife, judging by his facial expression. Then he argued that he might extract a wrench quickly from the nearby car, but Rosita insisted that the horde of two dozen just kept getting closer and closer, and they were running short on time, anyway.

If everyone agreed? They would move forward, and it was only then that Rosita realized that they were still damn screwed without the slightest bit of a plan. That was the new world, wasn’t it? Whenever you thought you had shit under control, life would prove you the opposite. Kyleigh might have a map, but it wasn’t detailed enough to show them the route to the building Warren saw with his binoculars, and his binoculars alone didn’t serve as a GPS system, albeit they helped. As they scouted the area, Rosita ordered everyone to move quickly, but to keep low and remain hidden behind the long line of cars on the street. As they moved forward, some undead locked up in the cars began banging on the car windows upon the sight of them. Some of the buildings were clearly horrible choices with windows revealing all the dead inside and Rosita was glad they kept themselves hidden as she spotted the sight of a bunch of undead roaming around in a building which was only protected with a glass door.

Problem was that there was a big gap between the car they were currently hiding behind and the next car. “Carajo.. If they spot us, they’ll start to push themselves against that glass door”, Rosita muttered quietly.

From their spot, she could see the building Warren had described. Grabbing Warren’s binoculars she took a look at the area, “There’s an elevated walkway which can be accessed from inside one of the buildings around here. It has glass windows, but from here, I can’t see any dead inside. That walkway would buy us some time if we wanna check out that building Warren mentioned.”

She just wasn’t sure if that was a good idea. Sure the building Warren had mentioned was an easily defensible concrete building that had no windows or glass doors which made it an ideal place to spend the night in, but what if it was filled with undead?

One thing that this group needed and were lucky enough to have, was for them to all be on the same page. They were focusing on their survival now that they didn't have others to order them around, each one bringing up valid points. The more she listened the more Kyleigh began to see that herself and Rosita had the most real world experience so far, Warren had his book knowledge and Irina seemed to be going off what she heard others talking about or what she learned in the camp. All useful in their own way, so maybe they would all make it to where they wanted to be. Now was the real test of their trust in each other and how much each of them wanted to keep on living.

"You're right again." Kyleigh spoke in Rosita's direction, though she meant it for Warren and Irina as well. "Might be why my last group didn't work out. We did find a place, but it attracted others which brought the dead. So we need to find spots that others might have over looked or wouldn't dare venture into."

Honestly Kyleigh didn't care what kind of places they might be. She was used to sleeping in all the strange spots, having to eat whatever nature provided for her, and drinking from some pretty shady things. She just had to keep telling herself that the others she was with didn't have the system she did so she had to be extra careful what she suggested.

Of course it seemed like the only man with them had to argue with the plan they were putting together, however this time he did make some sense. Throwing together a shelter and hoping that they could find clean water was a shot in the dark at best, so maybe they should look among the buildings. Kyleigh was in full agreement about raiding that truck. There were some good supplies on it and since it had gotten eerily quiet she was just going to assume that the two guards were no longer among the living. The four of them needed to get to it before someone else did or before it was taken over by the dead.

The half lycan knew one thing was for sure and that was that they were wasting time arguing about this. The compromise of them going to the truck then only spending a certain amount of time looking in that direction before they moved on was finally reached and she found herself actually okay with that. She even felt a little bit of hope seeing that gun hidden away in that doll Irina had with her, chuckling softly.

"Damn if I would have known that was an option I would have done the same thing myself." She knew Rosita was waiting to hear her opinion, but she first wanted to show just how many weapons she had herself. "The dumbass back at camp that was doing the weapons search was shit at his job. Or just nervous around women because he did not check me that well."

Reaching down she lifted up the lower half of her jeans on each side, revealing knives strapped to both her ankles. Sharp ones too, and light enough they could be thrown in necessary. Then she reached up under the back of her shirt where her bra was and pulled out two more that had been sitting there for a few days. "Trust me, I never went anywhere without these babies and I never will. There's a bigger one in the false bottom of my bag, and if anyone else needs a weapon they can be found anywhere. See a brick, pick it up. Check the trunks of these empty cars. Lug wrenches can break a skull if you swing hard enough, crow bars too."

Putting her knives in her bag since there was no reason to hide them now, the half lycan glanced around again and sighed. "I saw we go for the truck and see what we can get, then check out the buildings. If we don't find one that's suitable within twenty minutes or so we move on. That make everyone happy for now?"

[infriga]

Me whenever a fic has Connor take out his LED permanently:

[agxxb]

We All Need Joel’s Help .𖥔 ݁ ˖

joel miller x f!reader

summary: after ellie embarrasses joel at the winter dance, you help take his mind off of it.

warnings: smut. fluff. angst. unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!). use of pet names (sweetheart, honey, my love, darling). praise. age gap (reader is in her 30s, joel is his age in the second season). no mention of y/n. [ 4k ]

You saw Seth's outburst at Ellie and Dina firsthand, and Joel's reaction was immediate — his body tense, fists clenched at his sides. He pushed his body away from the bar he stood at beside you, rushing forward and placing his hands on the older man, the entire town watching Seth fall to the floor from Joel’s forceful shove.

Ellie’s face was frozen in horror, but it was anger that burned through most vividly. She watched as Maria rushed to pull Seth away, then turned her eyes to Joel – the man who had become a father to her – standing there, silently waiting to ask if she was alright.

That’s when everything fell apart.

“I don’t need your fucking help.”

The entire hall fell silent, the weight of Joel’s pain hanging in the air, and he took a step back, his chest tightening with a pain that was sharper than any blade. His eyes locked onto Ellie, but all he found was a hardness in her eyes that he had never seen before. The harsh words hung in the air, and for a moment the world seemed to fade away. It was as if time had frozen, the silence so loud it deafened everyone in the hall. Then everything came crashing back. The hum of electricity, your breathing, the sound of Joel’s boots on the ground as he walked forward and out of the church. Acting on nothing but instinct, you gave Ellie a small, tight-lipped smile as you past her and followed Joel outside.

The sudden cold hit you as you walked outside, the temperature having dropped significantly despite it only being an hour or so since you entered the church. The lights of Jackson were dim compared to the lively glow of the dance. You spotted Joel's tall, broad figure stood by a lamp near the church, one hand running through his hair as his head tilted downwards.

"Joel?” You started, and his attention snapped over to you as you approached, head lifting to meet your gaze.

You heard the quiet sniffle that he tried to hide and watched as he brought his hand up to wipe away a tear. A beat of silence passed as you took a few steps closer, then another. And another. You stopped when you were less than a meter away, the light from the lamp illuminating Joel’s features. His face was weary and gaunt, the years showing themselves on his tired, sad eyes. You wanted to reach out to him… To comfort him…

"You alright?" You heard yourself ask, and the moment the words left your mouth you knew it was a dumb question.

He let out a scoff in response, hand dropping to his side as he moved to lean back against the wall of the building next to the church. He was quiet, his gaze falling to the ground, eyes glossy. You gave him a soft smile, a small one that held both love and understanding. Silence fell once more as you studied Joel’s figure, his shoulders slumped and head lowered in defeat. He looked broken, as if everything was finally catching up to him. And in a way, it probably was.

You knew better than to try and get Joel to talk about how he was feeling. He wasn't one to talk about his emotions, not even with you. Instead, you took in a deep breath and allowed the silence to envelope you both once more. You leaned against the wall beside him, not wanting him to be alone in that moment.

"She hates me."

You turned your head to look at him, hand reaching out to touch his, trying to ground him. "She doesn't. She's just angry because she wanted to handle the situation herself."

"I just wanted to protect her," he said, voice thick and full of emotion. “What that asshole said was out of line.”

“I know, my love.” You reached for his hand and laced your fingers with his, giving it a gentle squeeze. “You did what you thought was right, and no one can fault you for that.”

He still wasn't looking at you, instead staring down at your hand, his thumb gently stroking over your skin as his fingers wrapped around your own. He was silent for a moment as he processed your words.

"But it still hurt her,” he admitted finally, his voice soft yet rough.

You nodded in understanding, your heart felt heavy seeing Joel this way. "I know," you replied gently, “But trust me when I say that she'll come around. She just needs some time to process everything."

Joel said nothing in response, his eyes now having returned to looking at the ground. You could tell he was still beating himself up over the entire situation.

"Come here.”

You let go of his hand and moved to stand in front of him, arms open for him to fall into. He didn’t hesitate, and you felt his head rest against your shoulder as he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer. He buried his face into the crook of your neck, instantly feeling the dampness of his tears on your skin. You held him tightly, one hand moving to gently stroke his greying hair as the other rubbed circles across his back.

"It's okay," you whispered, trying to soothe his pain. "It's going to be okay."

You felt him take in a deep, shaky breath as he pulled you even closer, his grip on you tightening. He stayed as he was for a while, silent save for the occasional soft sob or quiet sniffle that escaped him. His weight against you was comforting, and you continued to hold him, providing a safe place for him to let out his pain and frustration.

He shook his head lightly against you, and you heard his voice, muffled by the fabric of your clothes. "I just... I want her to be happy. I miss her."

You nodded, and even though you knew he couldn't see it, he could feel it. "I know, honey. She just needs some time to cool off, that's all.”

There was a moment of silence as Joel held onto you, and you could feel the tremors running through his body as he tried to contain his emotions. You continued to run your hand up and down his back, not saying a word, just allowing him to feel whatever he needed to feel. After several moments, he pulled away slightly and looked at you, his face tear-streaked. Your heart broke seeing him like this, so vulnerable and hurting. So, you leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to his temple, right above his scar.

"Let's get you home, yeah?”

He nodded, a final sniffle leaving him before he pulled back from the embrace. You interlocked your fingers with his once again as you turned and began walking together, the snow-dusted dirt crunching beneath your boots.

As you walked through the streets of Jackson, the town was quiet and peaceful, the only sounds coming from the soft crunch of snow beneath your feet and the faint music in the distance. Tall lamps on the sides of the roads gave off a soft, warm glow, and the houses had large porches wrapped around the outer walls. You could see glimpses of the town's residents inside their homes through the windows, warm fires burning in the fireplaces and the low hums of conversation. There was comfort in the silence, in the way your shoulders brushed every so often.

It didn’t take long for the two of you to reach home. When you stepped into the house, it was warm despite having no heat source on for a few hours. You flicked on the nearest lamp, letting the soft orange glow fill the room, and turned to Joel as you shrugged off your jacket. You saw the exhaustion in his features, the deep bags under his eyes and the slump in his shoulders. He shut the door behind the two of you and walked over to the couch, collapsing down onto it with a huff.

"I'm gonna grab something to drink, you want anything?" you asked softly, stepping closer to him.

He shook his head, but just as you were about to turn and head toward the kitchen, you felt a hand grab yours. Joel pulled you around, making you face him. Without saying a word, he tugged you closer until you were standing between his legs. You let out a small noise of surprise but quickly settled, your hip pressed against the edge of the couch. You could see Joel's face clearly now, illuminated by a shaft of moonlight streaming in from the window.

He was watching you closely, eyes roaming your face like he was trying to commit every feature to memory. His grip on your hand tightened, drawing you closer still. His other hand moved to rest on your thigh, thumb rubbing gentle circles into your jeans. You felt butterflies in your stomach as he looked at you, his touch sending electric shocks through your body. You placed a hand on top of his that was resting on your leg, gently tracing your fingertips over his knuckles.

“Thank you, sweetheart,” Joel spoke quietly, his voice gruff but holding so much love. He lifted your hand, bringing it up to his lips and pressing a soft kiss against the back. “I love you.”

It was like a bolt of lightning striking through you at his words. No matter how many times he said it, your heart skipped a beat.

"I love you too," you replied, your voice barely a whisper. You brought your other hand up to cup his cheek, thumb brushing across the scruffy facial hair along his jawline.

His eyes fluttered shut at your touch, and he leaned into your hand, seeking out your touch like a man starved of affection. You couldn’t deny that you enjoyed this side of Joel — the vulnerable, tender side that only came out when he was with you.

“Still can’t believe ya want me,” he mumbled against your hand, his breath sending a shiver down your spine. “Don't know how you put up with me.”

“Always have, always will,” you promised, gently running your fingers through his hair, the silvering strands soft against your touch. “And quite easily, believe it or not.” He cracked an eye open, looking at you like he didn't quite believe you. You smiled softly and cupped his face in your hands. “I love you. That’s not gonna change just because you and El are going through a rough patch.”

Joel let out a small huff at your words, and you saw the corners of his lips pulled up in a slight smile. He leaned into your touch once more, eyes closing as he savored the feeling of your hands on his face.

“She’s pissed off with me,” he said after a moment, his voice barely above a whisper. “Can’t really blame her.” He sighed. “I just... I dunno, feel like I keep messing up with her, ya know?”

“It’ll work out.”

Joel was silent as he looked up at you, his expression softening even more. He lifted a hand to rest against your cheek, his thumb gently caressing your cheek, the calloused skin rough against your own. You leaned into his touch, a sigh escaping you as your eyes fluttered shut for a moment. It felt nice to have these moments of comfort with each other, in the midst of all the chaos that was constantly happening around you.

"I hope so," Joel said after a moment of silence, and you both knew he was talking about more than just his relationship with Ellie.

You opened your eyes to look at him, feeling a little pang in your heart at the pain that was visible on his face. He looked tired, like he had been battling demons on his own for far too long.

"Hey," you said softly, your hand moving to cover his, "You're doing the best you can. You have to give yourself some credit for that."

Joel let out a scoff, his gaze drifting away from your face to look at something in the distance. "Doesn't feel like it."

You could feel the guilt and blame radiating off him, and it pained you to see him like this. You frowned at his words, not liking how he was talking about himself. "Stop that," you said firmly and brought your hand up to his chin, tilting his head to look at you again. "You need to stop being so hard on yourself."

He let out a gruff sound that was somewhere between a scoff and a hum, but he didn't argue. Instead, his thumb brushed over your cheek again, his touch gentle yet firm.

"Sometimes my best doesn't feel like enough, ya know?"

You nodded, understanding the weight of those words all too well. "I know, but it is," you promised him. "You may not see it, but you're doing more than enough." You lifted a hand to gently touch his shoulder, feeling the tension beneath your fingertips. "You're only one person, Joel. You can't save everyone."

His eyes flicked up to meet yours, searching for any sign of a lie or doubt. When he found none, he let out a sigh and leaned his forehead against your chest, his grip on your waist tightening. You could feel the tension leaving his body as he leaned into you. His head rested just above your heart, the steady rhythm of your pulse filling his ears. It was a comforting sound, grounding him in the moment, reminding him that he wasn't alone. And here in your arms, he felt safer than he had in years.

"I just want to protect you all," he mumbled, his voice slightly muffled. "I'm scared of losing you."

Your fingers running gently across his broad shoulders, tracing small patterns as he let his guard down. He was strong and capable, but even the toughest man could break.

"You've already saved so many people," you reminded him, your voice soft. "Including me." You leaned down so your chin rested atop his head. "You're not alone in this, Joel. I'm here for you. Always."

He finally lifted his head, looking up at you from where you were perched on his lap. His eyes were tired but filled with love. He reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind you ear, his thumb gently tracing along your jaw before sliding down to rest on your chin. The corners of his mouth tugged up into a small smile and his eyes were glossy. You could see the raw emotion in them. It was rare that he let himself be this vulnerable, and it only happened when he was with you.

He didn't say anything, his hand coming up to slide up your leg, fingertips leaving trails of heat in their wake. You shivered slightly at his touch, the heat of his hand seeping through your jeans. Your breath hitched in your throat as his fingers slid under your shirt, hand pausing at the spot just above the waistband, his thumb rubbing small circles into the sensitive skin. You felt yourself leaning into his touch, unable to resist the magnetic pull between you. This is what it meant to feel alive. To feel his hands on you, knowing that he was there, that you had each other.

It was a feeling you'd never get tired of.

He was watching you closely, his gaze filled with both heat and hesitation. You felt your heart rate quicken, the intensity of his look coupled with his touch driving you crazy. You knew he was asking a silent question, and with a slight movement of your hips, you gave him an answer.

His breathing hitched in his throat as you shifted on his lap, the movement bringing you even closer together. You felt his grip on your hip tighten, his fingers digging into your flesh ever so slightly. There was a moment of hesitation, a split second where the both of you held your breaths, and then he was pulling you down, crashing his lips against your own. The kiss was heated and hungry, as if he was starving for the taste of you. His tongue immediately sought entrance, and you willingly obliged, your own tongue meeting his in a desperate dance as your hands moved to cradle his face.

The two of you were pressed tightly against each other, and you could feel his body heat seeping through your clothes, the heat from his kiss adding to the flush that was probably evident on your cheeks by now. His hands were everywhere — on your hips, in your hair, slipping beneath your shirt to feel the soft skin of your back. The kiss was frenzied, the desperation in his touch sending your head spinning. You both needed this, needed the connection, the reassurance. He pulled back for a moment, his breath coming out in ragged gasps, but the look he gave you held a clear message — he wasn't done with you yet.

He kissed you again and you let out a soft moan, your fingers tangling in his long, greying hair. The feel of his lips on yours was enough to send you spiraling, the heat coiling deep in your belly. His hands moved back down to your hips, gripping tight as he pulled you flush against him, your body molding against the hard planes of his. You could feel him hardening beneath you, the knowledge sending tendrils of electricity throughout your body.

His hands slowly moved up your sides, calloused fingers skimming your ribcage, causing you to shiver. His touch was both rough and gentle, a contradiction that only served to drive you even crazier. You ground down against him, wanting nothing more than to feel closer to him, every touch and kiss leaving you needing more.

He pulled back momentarily, his gaze roaming over your face, taking in the flushed cheeks, the parted lips, the heavy-lidded eyes that were filled with desire. You began placing a trail of hot, open-mouthed kisses down his neck, nipping at the sensitive skin as you went. The sound of your name slipped from his lips as you nipped at the spot just below his ear.

“God, darlin’," he murmured, voice thick with need. "You're driving me insane."

You pulled back slightly with a small grin. “Yeah?”

His eyes locked with yours, the intensity behind them making your heart skip a beat. "You have any idea what you do to me?"

You ground down on his lap again, biting your bottom lip as a groan left him. “I can feel the effect I have on you.”

His grip on your hips tightened, holding you in place as you rubbed yourself against him, the friction causing a curse to escape his lips. He dropped his head to your shoulder, his breath hot against your skin.

"You're gonna be the death of me, ya know that?" he rasped out, his voice low and filled with want.

“After everything you’ve been through, you’ll end up dying in a funny way — like slipping on a golf course or something.”

He huffed out a laugh against your shoulder, vibrations sending ripples of pleasure through you. He lifted his head, a smirk tugging at his lips. He shifted against you, the action causing his groin to press up into yours, and you felt the hard length of him press against you, even through the layers of clothes.

Your breath hitched in your throat at the feeling, and he let out a soft chuckle. "You're hilarious, ya know that?”

You couldn't help but let out a soft moan, your hips involuntarily bucking against him, seeking that delicious friction. His grip on your hips tightened, his fingers digging into your skin, a gesture that only heightened the desire coursing through you. He shifted again, his grip on your hips tight as he ground up into you, his eyes never leaving your face.

"I have my moments,” you managed to gasp out, your hands going to his shoulders to steady yourself.

He chuckled softly, his gaze flicking down to your flushed face, the desire in his expression nearly pushing you over the edge. "Oh, I know," he murmured, his voice deep and rough. He shifted again, his hips rolling against yours, creating friction that had you biting back a moan.

His fingers moved from your hips up to your waist, the gesture almost reverent, like he was touching something precious. He tugged you closer, his body heat seeping through you even through the thin shirt you were wearing. Your hands slid down from his shoulders, moving to his chest and fingers playing with the buttons of his flannel shirt, a silent request to get his consent to go further.

His eyes flicked down to your hands as they played with the buttons of his shirt, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. He gave you a quick nod and you felt his grip on your hip loosen slightly, allowing you to move freely. He leaned back, resting against the couch and watching you with an intense gaze, his eyes dark with lust. You slowly unbuttoned his shirt, the fabric parting to reveal a toned chest beneath, sprinkled with scars and dusted with a light covering of hair. You traced your fingers over his skin, feeling the heat radiating from him, his muscles twitching faintly under your touch. Your eyes flicked up to his face and you saw his gaze was hooded, watching your every move with rapt attention.

He was the perfect blend of strength and snacks, body holding a soft armor of fatherhood.

You pulled back for a moment, breath coming out in short gasps. Joel's eyes were still fixed on you, his breathing just as erratic as he attempted to control his own desires. He could feel the heat radiating off your body, the tension between the two of you at its peak.

Your pause was met with a slight frown from Joel as you pulled back, his hands sliding up your arms, gripping your elbows. "Ya alright there, sweetheart?" he asked, disquiet evident in his voice.

You smiled, giving your man a slow, short nod. Gazing down at him – eyes hungry, heart full – you saw the want mirrored in his face, raw and unspoken. Right then, right there, you were exactly where you belonged.

“Never been better.”

There was a moment of silence, Joel's gaze studying you intently, his hands still holding your elbows. He could sense the sincerity in your words, and it caused a slight smile to pull at the corner of his lip.

His gaze dropped to your hands as you began unbuttoning your own shirt, the action causing his breath to hitch in his throat. The sight of your fingers moving, the movement of the fabric sliding down your shoulders... it was all driving him crazy.

“I’m one lucky son’a bitch,” he muttered to himself, his eyes following your every movement.

You dropped your hands as Joel's replaced yours, working to unbutton your shirt, his fingers deft and precise as they popped open the buttons one by one. His eyes were fixed on your skin, his breathing increasing in pace as more was revealed. He gently pushed the fabric aside, his gaze roaming over the newly exposed skin.

“You’re so beautiful.”

You smiled softly and thanked him, leaning forward to press your lips against his — this time much more soft, despite the urge still being there. He returned the kiss with equal softness, his grip on your elbows loosening as he allowed the moment to settle into something more tender. His hand came up to cup your face, his touch light and almost tentative. The kiss was gentle, a far cry from the heated passion of before, but no less intimate. The feel of his rough-worn fingers against your face a comfort as he deepened the kiss slightly, his tongue brushing against your bottom lip, seeking entrance.

You parted your lips in response, letting him in, your breaths mingling. His kisses were slow and thorough, his touch tender but firm. You could feel the heat building again, but it was different this time — less animalistic and more forbearing. His tongue glided against yours in a slow, lazy dance, as if he was savouring the taste of you. His other hand slid around your waist, pulling you even closer, the heat of his bare skin against yours driving you crazy.

You could feel his body respond instantly to your movements, his grip on your waist tightening as he let out a low groan. His lips left yours, trailing down your chin to the sensitive skin of your neck. His hands slid down to your hips, pulling you forward, grinding himself up into you. His teeth nipped at your pulse point, a desperate moan leaving your lips as you found yourself once again caught in a vehement moment with your lover.

Joel’s hands moved to the waistband of your jeans, struggling to undo them as you continued to move against him. He pulled away for a moment, looking down at where his hands worked to achieve his goal of taking your pants off. He tapped your thigh, a silent signal for you to stand, and – with your help – he managed to successfully pull them down, watching as you kicked them off before settling yourself back on his lap.

Once you were settled, his hands were on you again, impatiently sliding up your thighs, leaving scorching trails in their wake. His eyes were dark with desire, his breath coming in laboured gasps as he looked at you, his fingers digging into your skin.

“Need you,” you mumbled, hands lowering to his belt and pulling at it. You could feel the hardness of him pressing against you as you slid his belt through the loops of his jeans.

“Yeah?”

You nodded desperately, hands moving to undo the buttons of his jeans. You didn’t care if his shirt still hung around his shoulders or if his jeans weren’t entirely off — you just needed him inside you. You were soaked, all because of Joel Miller. There was something about the way his voice sounded when he spoke, so sweet and dominating, that made pleasure burn through you, making you want him even more.

You leaned forward to kiss him, your lips meeting his instantly. He kissed you almost desperately, like he was starving and you were the only thing that could possibly satisfy him. Your hands switched between resting on his chest and shoulders, pushing your underwear to the side as Joel pulled pulled himself from his boxers. He reached down and lined himself up before allowed you to sink down onto him. Your eyebrows furrowed together in pleasure, having him fill you to the brim. No matter how many times Joel fucked you, you would never get over how good he felt.

"Good girl," he murmured, voice rough. "That's my good girl."

"Oh, my god..."

You took a moment to collect yourself before lifting up and sinking back down onto him. He could feel your hands on his shoulders, your nails clawing at his skin, and it only turned him on more. You moaned as you moved, the sounds of your sopping wet pussy filling the room.

“That feel good, sweetheart?" Joel asked, voice strained with how good you felt wrapped around him.

"S-So good," you nodded, eyes closed in pleasure and moans falling freely from your pillowed lips. "So deep."

"Fuck," Joel moaned in response, eyes squeezing shut for a moment. The backs of your thighs hit his as you bounced, and it left you feeling dumb, no thoughts left in your head apart from how pretty Joel looked beneath you. His own lips parted as he reached his hands up, his thumbs brushing over your nipples as he stared as your tits in awe. “Just like that, darlin’, shit-"

He could feel every little gasp, every moan, every whimper you made, and it was driving him crazy. Despite often struggling with reaching an orgasm at his age, he could feel himself getting closer and closer to the edge, and he knew he couldn't hold back for much longer. You leaned down, his face just inches away from yours, and pressed your forehead against his. Joel suddenly slid his hand down your body, his thumb finding your clit and quickly rubbing it. You moaned loudly, nails scratching down his chest and leaving red marks in their wake.

"F-fuck!" you cried, the pleasure consuming you. You sped up, moving harder and rougher. He loved the sound of your voice, the way it changed as he touched you, the way it got higher and more desperate as you got closer.

"That's it," he rasped. "Let me hear how good you feel." He suddenly grabbed your hip, using it as leverage as he started to thrust up into you, his body tensing at the movement.

“Joel-” you whined, one hand moving to the back of his neck. You stared into his brown eyes, seeing nothing but love and desire in them. He knew you were close, could feel it in the way you moved, and he felt his own body grow taut in response.

His name on your lips sent a shiver down his spine, and he let out a soft moan, his grip on your hips tightening just a fraction. He pushed himself against you, his chest rumbling beneath your hand.

"Fuck, sweetheart," he murmured, his lips grazing against your jawline. His lips began to trail kisses down your neck, his kisses open mouthed and hot. His beard scratched against your skin, causing a moan to leave you at the feeling. “Doing such a good job for me.”

“Fuck,” you cried out, tears welling in your eyes as you looked down at him. “Y’look so good, Joel– Oh my god.” Another moan left you. “Want you to cum so deep inside me.”

Joel let out a low grown, his eyes dark with desire as he looked up at you. "Sweetheart, you're killin' me here." He pressed his face into your neck, hot breath against your skin, his fingers digging even further into your thighs in a vice grip.

“Need it, Joel — please.” He nodded against your shoulder, his eyes squeezed shut as his arms wrapped around your wait, holding you to him. His thrusts sped up, a clapping sound filling the air around you as his breathing became more laborious. “‘m gonna cum-!”

You pretty much screamed his name as you did, legs shaking around his hips with your arms hugging his head to your chest. He felt you tighten around him, felt your nails digging into his skin, and he couldn't hold back anymore.

"That’s it, sweetheart,” Joel mumbled, running purely on primal instincts now. Your tits bounced as he continued to fuck himself deeper into you. “Gonna- Fuck. Gonna cum, darlin’.”

“Inside me, cum inside me,” you pleaded, pressing kisses up and down his neck. “Please.”

Joel grabbed ahold of your hips, grinding his hips deep into yours a few more times before coming to a stop. He came hard, his body tensing up as he buried his face into your neck, his breath coming out in ragged gasps as he rode out his orgasm. You felt his cum fill you up, letting out a hum of content. He was breathing heavily, his body still shaking from the intensity of his release, and he couldn't remember ever feeling this good, this wrecked, this satisfied.

“Did I ever tell you that you’re really sexy when you’re angry and protective?”

[p3achyxdoll]

𝑯𝒐𝒘 𝒕𝒐 𝑩𝒆 𝑴𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝑩𝒊𝒎𝒃𝒐𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑭𝒆𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒆

Not everyone can afford the obvious immediate surgical interventions (boob jobs, lip fillers, Botox, lipo), so I've decided to focus on things that you could implement instead of injectables and surgery.

Become your best bimbo self!

𝑪𝒍𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈:

❥ Change up your outfits to be more feminine.

❥ Go thrifting for new ones if you don't own any that fit your vision. Or learn how to sew and make your own (my current dream goal.)

❥ Look for more feminine fabrics and colours – or which fit your bimbo aesthetic.

❥ Go with a silhouette that is flattering on you and makes you feel confident. Figure out your body shape to do this.

❥ Learn how to walk in heels.

❥ Accessorize: Bags. Jewellery. Piercings.

𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒓𝒂𝒍 𝑺𝒆𝒍𝒇-𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒆:

❥ Develop a skincare routine.

❥ Look after your body – moisturize, have uncalloused and soft feet that you take care of, learn lymphatic drainage techniques.

❥ Maintain your hygiene always.

❥ Look after your mental health. Perhaps journal, speak to a professional, or meditate.

❥ Use a guasha for natural face shaping and pampering.

❥ Nourish your body with foods that show you respect it.

❥ Shape your eyebrows. Pluck or wax.

❥ Shave your body hair. Or wax.

❥ Look after your teeth. Whiten them. Floss. Avoid foods and drinks that stain.

𝑬𝒙𝒕𝒓𝒂 𝑻𝒊𝒑:

𝑭𝒊𝒏𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒔𝒊𝒈𝒏𝒂𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝒇𝒓𝒂𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆! 𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒃𝒆 𝒂 𝒔𝒄𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒏𝒆𝒓 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒔 𝒐𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒐𝒓 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒅𝒐𝒓𝒆.

𝑴𝒂𝒌𝒆𝒖𝒑:

❥ Learn how to do your makeup well and for different occasions.

❥ Putting emphasis on different elements of your face can highlight your femininity and best features. Don't try to hide them. I personally love wearing pink or even purple-toned eye shadows in a smokey look to bring out my greeny eyes.

❥ Learn your face shape and how to work with it.

❥ Femme faces tend to be smaller, softer, and more rounded. Even if you don’t have these features naturally, you can make your face look more feminine through makeup and the right hairstyle for your face. (Know your face shape and then go from there with tips.)

𝑯𝒂𝒊𝒓 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑵𝒂𝒊𝒍𝒔:

❥ Maintain your hair and develop a good haircare routine – use heat protecting spray if you style it with heat, for example.

❥ Incorporate feminine hair accessories like hair bows or bands.

❥ Keep your look simple, clean, and soft.

❥ I get my nails done every three weeks or so, gel nails. But you can be just as feminine with natural or shorter nails. Just make sure they're clean, well kept, and shaped – learning to do your own is super simple.

𝑷𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑭𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕 𝑰𝒎𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔:

❥ Act like the girl you want to become until it becomes your reality. Fake it until you make it.

❥ Work on your mannerisms and inherently feminine body language.

❥ Improve your posture.

❥ Watch etiquette videos, voice and elecution lessons. Avoid cursing and shouting.

❥ Defer to the men, who you trust, when possible.

❥ Socialise and try to lean into your extroverted side. People enjoy the company of those who are at ease with themselves.

❥ Giggle more. Flirt more.

❥ Put your happiest self first when interacting with others. Feminine energy is nurturing and comforting.

❥ Find confidence in the new you. You only get to live one life, so you're already taking more steps than the average person by becoming the authentic and happy you! Take pride in that.

𝑳𝒊𝒇𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒚𝒍𝒆:

❥ Join the gym or find a physical activity you enjoy to ensure you're toned – or if you need to, lose weight. This is also great for your mental health and general wellbeing.

❥ Write down mantras and repeat them every day. These can be bimbo or feminity related. Or they could simply be your goals for the day, week, or year.

❥ Surround yourself with female friendships, feminine women or bimbos like you.

[tarotlexa]

PICK A PILE READING- what's sexy about you?

welcome back to a new pick a pile reading my loves. before we begin, let me state that sexy to me doesn't simply mean sexual attractiveness, it's more of a state of mind to me, a vibe. interpret this as you will. <3

as always, this is a collective reading so take what resonates and leave what does not. much love!

⠀.　　　　　　　　　　⠀⠀⠀✦ ⠀ ⠀　　　　　　　　　　　　　　⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀* ⠀⠀⠀.　　　　　　　　　　. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀✦⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀.　　　　　　　　　　　　　.　　　ﾟ .　　　　　　　　　　　　　. 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　✦ 　　　　　,　　　　　　　.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

　　　　　　*　　　　　　　　　　　.

.　　　　　　　　　　　　　. 　　✦⠀　   　　　,　　　　　　　　　*

　　　　　⠀　　　　⠀　　,

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀.　　　　　 　　⠀　　　⠀.　

　　˚　　　⠀　⠀  　　,　　　　　　.

　　　　　　　　　　　　　.

　　　　　　*⠀　　⠀  　　　　　⠀✦⠀　

　　　　　　*　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　.

　　　　.　　　　.　　　⠀

　　　　　　　　　　　.

　　　˚　　　　　　　　ﾟ　　　　　.

　.⠀　　⠀‍⠀‍⠀‍⠀‍⠀‍⠀‍⠀‍⠀‍⠀‍⠀‍⠀,

　　　*　　⠀.

　　　　　.　　　　　　　　　　⠀✦

　˚　　　　　　　　　　　　　　*

.⠀ 　　　　　　　　　　.　　　　　　　　.

　　　　　✦⠀　   　　　,　　    　　　　　　　　.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀.　　　　　　　　　　⠀⠀⠀✦ ⠀ ⠀　　　　　　　　　　　　　　⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀* ⠀⠀⠀.　　　　　　　　　　. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀✦⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀.　　　　　　　　　　　　　.　　　ﾟ .　　　　　　　　　　　　　. 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　✦ 　　　　　,　　　　　　　.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

　　　　　　*　　　　　　　　　　　.

.　　　　　　　　　　　　　. 　　✦⠀　   　　　,　　　　　　　　　*

　　　　　⠀　　　　⠀　　,

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀.　　　　　 　　⠀　　　⠀.　

　　˚　　　⠀　⠀  　　,　　　　　　.

　　　　　　　　　　　　　.

　　　　　　*⠀　　⠀  　　　　　⠀✦⠀　

　　　　　　*　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　.

　　　　.　　　　.　　　

　　　　　　　　　　　.

　　　˚　　　　　　　　ﾟ　　　　　.

　.⠀　⠀‍⠀‍⠀‍⠀‍⠀‍⠀‍⠀‍⠀‍⠀‍⠀‍⠀,

　　　　　✦⠀　   　　　,

pile 1: omg pile 1 are you one of those girls that love the office siren/corporate chic/business casual or lots of leather look?

anyway, your allure is undeniable. you have a restless, wildfire energy that makes you untouchable, unpredictable and tempting. to some, you're literally eve's apple. you're the kind of person who walks into a room and shifts the atmosphere immediately. you're driven, passionate and you're currently building something or creating and thriving and it HAUNTS people. they always wonder about your next move. there's something about your eyes, you might have a very intense gaze or simply beautiful eyes. a striking posture or walk. you carry yourself like you're going places and others can feel it. you might be a fire sign (leo, aries, sag) or a taurus/libra since the empress is present. people want to bask in your dark feminine glow. people project all kinds of fantasies onto you, stuff that you never even thought about. they wonder who you really are under all those layers because it feels forbidden for them to get to know the real you. people see you as off limits in general, you also could be someone in a position of authority. you're very protective of your placement in society, you might also be someone who wants to fight injustice in the world. one thing that people notice very quickly about you is how you always think before you speak and it lowkey scares them because what else are you hiding in that mysterious mind of yours? guess we'll never know. this isn't always a good thing since you seem to attract a lot of petty and immature gossip, especially between coworkers or classmates lmao but the thing is, you're socially untouchable. there's nothing that could make you crash out publicly and they know it so they tend to keep their gossip between themselves instead of trying to provoke you or confront you. people fear intensity because most people are empty and have nothing to give to the world, always remember that. never reveal your cards because it's part of your allure, you always seem like you're in control even when you're not. "i know something you don't" vibes lol

definitely tap more into that poised, unshaken and calculating energy if you want more people to notice you. speak your mind but refrain from sharing too much because you might give your ideas away (subconsciously or consciously). also try to remember that not everyone is your friend, even if they pretend to be. careful with what you share with those people because they might use it against you. also, i have an intuitive message: if you're wondering if you were right about ghosting that person, you were

pile 2: an enchantress. a dreamer. perhaps you're an astrologer/tarot reader or mystic too. ethereal energy. people see you as someone who can save them or heal them, you're romantic, grounding and people instinctively flock to you because you make them feel safe. people probably overshare a lot with you. gentle and poetic beauty, lighter than usual hair or eyes. timeless beauty. you might be an earth sign or a cancer/pisces, could also have some libra placements. there's a natural regal energy about you, you belong in soft candle lit rooms wearing silk and drinking expensive wine. you probably look amazing in blue or purple. your energy is VERY elusive, cyclical and unpredictable. you choose where your energy flows by choosing when to withdraw it, probably not even on purpose. you simply know when to leave the party and that makes you unreachable, creating a fun effect where the more unreachable you are the more people want a piece of you. most have probably begged you to come to their social outings or parties and you still refused them. you give off the energy of someone who has options, people never know where they stand with you. you can never be found in the same place, you're always wandering off and that's so intriguing. you also might be someone who attracts alienation in their life in terms of love, like it's hard for you to find someone who can be an equal partner. forgive me for adding this but you might also be someone with not a lot of money or who chooses to not spend a lot of money on themselves, yet you give off the opposite energy to people (they think you're withholding from spending money on yourself or your clothes). you always leave people wondering "why". manic pixie dream girl who? i love the fact that both the high priestess and the moon came up, your intuition is so on point, people can't lie to you or manipulate you. you're always three steps ahead, even when they least expect it. people are very afraid to lose you so they try to keep up with the force of nature that you are. your sexiness is mainly in your contrast, you can be gentle but you can also be intimidating as hell when you want to be because people don't know how to read you (you don't give off intimidating vibes at all, more like mermaid vibes if anything). you're good at keeping people on their toes.

you might be also one of those people that says something offhandedly that sticks in other people's minds for weeks.

pile 3: this pile is the epitome of cute and sweet, people feel so comforted by your beauty and your presence, i don't really sense any nervousness around you at all (just cute shy embarrassment that you get from interacting with your crush in elementary school). but it is all a facade, in a way. you might look cute, girlish and sweet but deep down you're someone who has insane amount of inner strength. you've probably been through hell and worst and that made you develop a more gentler outlook on life. you might also be someone who used to be apathy fuelled before you realized that there's beauty and joy in everything. i see you as someone who has grown a lot in 2024, you probably changed your mindset about life in a very radical life and that change was noticed by those who surround you. you're also someone who has lots of friends or lots of supporters around you. i feel like you could be a water sign or an air sign. the eight of cups shows that you're someone who might be prone to escapism or self isolation or you simply choose your friends in a very picky way. like you'll totally leave someone if they don't impress you of if they can't match that inner strength of yours. you could also be someone with daddy issues (sorry) and that attracts lots of older figures in your life who want to compensate for that. like people want to baby you in a way lol (this applies to both friends and partners). but again, this is all a cute curated image, not the reality. you're someone who isn't afraid to challenge authority and you don't let people control you and this makes those "replacement" father figures run for their lives after a while because they realize you're not as innocent as you look and that's your kind of allure. you're secretly sharp, intellectually dominant and you can be brutally honest when you want to be. most people make the mistake of seeing you as a naive girl next door and they love it when you prove them wrong. you could have beautiful hair or hands. also very alluring collarbones. people find it extremely sexy that you don't settle, you're not desperate for anyone's attention or company so they always try to impress you but it never works. you're a muse.

thank you for reading! comments/feedback/reblogs are always appreciated <3

[cakypa120]

When Billy was given powers, the clause "Protect the magical world" came with them. Billy's young brain came to the conclusion that it was necessary to protect not only magical animals, but also the magicians themselves. After all, they often face discrimination because of their magic from people who do not have it. Therefore, instead of hiding the status of the Champion of Magic, Billy openly tells the magicians about it and does everything possible so that they do not run away in fear.

This is how the wizards learn about Billy Batson, a nine-year-old orphan who was chosen for such a responsible position. There was much outrage and protest, but no one could go against the choice of Shazam. Billy did a good job of making the wizards who did not believe in him believe in him and his right to be Champion.

The non-magical heroes don't know that there's a child hiding behind the Marvel mask and that Captain Marvel is actually the Champion of Magic. And every time they see the Captain interacting with a magician, they compare them as a father and son. And the fact that the magicians act like naughty kids doesn't help at all. The heroes' heads are still fresh with the incident when Captain Marvel scolded John Constantine for another lost part of his soul. At the same time, the Briton looked like a child who believed that he was being unfairly accused of something he clearly did. He even pouted like a child and stubbornly did not look at Marvel!

So yeah, everyone thought that the good-hearted Marvel had taken these magicians under his wing, who definitely needed some kind of control.

[divinesangel]

— 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲’𝐫𝐞 𝐣𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬 [𝐝𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐝]

pm me for an affordable, in-depth personal reading!

— 𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐚 𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞!

— 𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟏

they won’t always say they’re jealous out loud. not at first. it’ll show in small ways. like a sudden shift in their energy, their tone getting a little sharper, or them going quiet for just a second too long. their eyes will give them away before their mouth ever does. they’ll look at you like they’re trying to figure something out, like they’re watching too closely.

they’ll try to act unbothered at first. play it cool. brush it off like it’s nothing. but underneath, they’ll be thinking a lot. overthinking, honestly. wondering if they have to compete for your attention, even if you’ve given them no reason to feel that way. because when they care, they care deeply. and jealousy, for them, comes from that same place. it’s not about control. it’s about fear. fear of losing something they’re scared to admit matters that much.

they might get more affectionate. clingier in a subtle way. reaching for your hand more, showing up where you are, giving compliments that feel extra specific, as if they’re reminding you that they know you better than anyone else. and they do. they just get scared sometimes. especially if they see you shining or connecting with others in a way that makes them feel replaceable.

sometimes, they’ll get defensive. tease you a little too hard. make sarcastic comments that feel light on the surface but have heat underneath. and if they really feel pushed, they might pull back completely. not because they’re done. but because they’re hurt. they’d rather retreat than admit they’re jealous. pride gets in the way. they don’t want to seem weak.

but once they feel safe again. once you look them in the eyes and show them there’s no threat, no competition, no one else taking up the space they want to hold. they soften. they open back up. maybe even admit it. “i was jealous,” they’ll say, half embarrassed, half honest. and it’ll mean something when they do. because they don’t share that part of themselves with just anyone.

when they’re jealous, it’s messy in a quiet way. not explosive. not toxic. just very human. they want to be your favorite person, and when they feel like they’re not, it rattles them. but if you love them right. if you show up, reassure, and keep things honest. they learn to manage it. and they’ll love you even more for making them feel chosen. again and again.

— 𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟐

when your soulmate gets jealous, it’s not loud or obvious. they don’t yell, they don’t accuse, and they don’t start fights. instead, it shows up quietly. at first, they’ll act like everything is fine, maybe even go out of their way to seem extra calm or cheerful. they might smile the same way, say all the right things, but there’s something just a little off. something in their eyes, in the way they pause before answering, in the way they seem distracted when they usually give you their full attention.

they’re proud. they don’t want to be the kind of person who gets jealous. they might even feel silly for it. so they try to hide it, to bury the feeling under politeness and jokes and “it’s nothing, don’t worry about it.” they’re the kind of person who overthinks when they’re hurt. they’ll replay a conversation again and again in their head, wondering if they misunderstood, wondering if they’re being too sensitive. they don’t want to lose you, and that fear — no matter how small — makes them hesitate.

so instead of telling you right away, they pull back just a little. maybe they take longer to text you back. maybe they stop calling as often. maybe they stop asking so many questions about your day. not because they don’t care — but because they care too much, and they’re scared of what the answers might be. they’re trying to protect themselves from getting hurt.

and yet, at the same time, they’re still watching. still noticing. they catch every smile you give someone else, every time you talk about someone new, every inside joke they’re not part of. and it stings. not in a possessive way, but in that quiet ache of “i hope i’m enough.” they start to question things they never used to question. is this just a phase? are you drifting away? are they imagining it? they don’t want to ask, because they’re afraid the answer might confirm their worst fear.

but jealousy doesn’t mean they don’t trust you. it means they love you deeply, and that love feels a little fragile sometimes. it means you matter so much that the idea of losing your attention, your affection, your warmth — it shakes them. and when it gets too much, when holding it in feels heavier than letting it out, they’ll come to you. quietly, cautiously, with soft eyes and hesitant words. they’ll probably start with “this might sound dumb but…” or “i know it’s probably nothing…” because they’re not trying to start a fight. they’re just trying to be honest. they’re trying to say, “i care. i noticed. and it made me feel small for a second.”

and what they really want — what their heart is hoping for — is not an apology, not a promise, not even an explanation. they just want you to see them. to notice that they’re hurting. to hold space for their vulnerability. to say, even in a small way, “i’m not going anywhere. you still matter most.”

when they’re jealous, they don’t need drama or attention. they need tenderness. reassurance. a gentle hand, a kind word, a look that says, “you don’t have to worry. i’m still here.” because behind their quiet distance is someone who loves you more than they know how to say. someone who is learning, little by little, that love is safe here. and that they don’t have to hide their heart to keep it from breaking.

— 𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟑

they’ll try to keep it together on the outside. they won’t always say what they’re feeling. instead, they’ll pull back just a little, like they’re trying to hide what’s bothering them. they’ll overthink it, replaying the moment in their head. they’ll feel this storm of emotion — insecurity, protectiveness, fear of losing you — but they’ll try to keep it controlled. they might go quiet, seem more serious, act a bit colder than usual. they’ll retreat a bit, like they’re trying to get themselves under control before speaking.

jealousy hits them hard, not because they don’t trust you, but because they care so much it scares them. you’re someone they feel deeply for. and that depth comes with fear — fear of not being enough, of losing what they love. it’s not that they want to control you. it’s just that when they care, they care fully. and they’ve likely been hurt before. their past might make them wary, guarded. they may try to act like they’re above those emotions, like they’re stronger than that — but inside, it eats at them.

when they’re jealous, they’ll be more observant. they’ll notice everything. who you talk to. how long. the tone in your voice. they won’t say it out loud, but their body will — a clenched jaw, arms crossed, that slight shift in their energy. they’ll want to know they’re still the one you want. and when they feel threatened, they’ll battle with themselves: do they say something or stay quiet and seem strong?

but even with all that, the truth is: they don’t want to hurt you or start a fight. they’ll try to work through it internally first. they’ll think about whether it’s their own insecurities talking. but if it gets too heavy, they’ll eventually open up — and when they do, it’ll be honest and raw. they’ll tell you they just didn’t know where they stood, or that they got scared. because jealousy, for them, is really just a fear of losing something they’ve finally found.

you’ll also notice that when they’re jealous, there’s a strong desire to prove something. to reclaim space in your heart. they’ll show up more — not with anger, but with intention. they’ll remind you of your bond, of what you share. maybe through affection, maybe through effort, maybe through a little possessiveness that’s more protective than toxic. they’ll want to make sure you still see them, still choose them.

they’re someone who feels big emotions in quiet ways. someone who leads with strength but underneath just wants to be loved deeply and not left behind. jealousy won’t turn them cruel — it’ll make them ache. but with time, trust, and reassurance, they’ll learn that love doesn’t have to come with fear. and you’ll see the light come back in them, softer, more secure — because when they feel safe, they shine.

𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 !

hi! it’s daphne here.

i’m currently offering personal readings for €7 and soulmate readings for €14 so don’t hesitate to send me a private message if you’re interested!

thank you for being here!

[deepspace-scenarios]

[scenario/drabble] In shining armour

LIs get protective when a stranger purposely bumps into you. (they're livid but they're on a date so no murder is allowed)

Genre: fluff

SYLUS

The moment the stranger shoves past you, Sylus’s grip tightens around his car keys. “I'll be just a moment, sweetie,” His voice is calm, measured.

And then he's gone. He disappears in a cloud of mist, and reappears close to the offender to cut them off. It happens all too quickly- a shift in the air, then a strangled sound, and the heavy thump of someone hitting the ground with a weaker, muffled groan.

When Sylus returns back to you, he ruffles your hair gently, taking care to tame any messy strands before he drops his hand.

“Sylus, did you just-” You grasp at words, trying to piece together vocabulary about the past twenty seconds. He watches you fondly as you pat his jacket down in your frazzled state, as if the minor tussle would have done anything at all.

“But I thought you don't pick fights with people that aren't worthy." Is what you settle for telling him.

“While that is true,” he murmurs, “I end fights with those who overestimate themselves,”

_____

XAVIER

You gasp in the aisle as the stranger jostles you, sending you stumbling backwards into a bookcase.

Xavier’s hand is suddenly at your elbow, steadying you- but his gaze locks onto the offender with an uncharacteristic sharpness. He then quickly pulls your cap lower, “Eyes down,”

And in a blink, he's gone.

“Watch it,” he you hear him say calmly. There's a rusle of fabric as the stranger turns, confused, only to see a bright flash, and a yelp.

Xavier guides you away from the bookstore without a backward glance.

“Strange,” he muses, fingers lingering at your back, “How they needed just a bit more light to watch where they're going,”

You raise an eyebrow at the barely-concealed threat in his words, but you can't help but smile when he pouts at you.

"What? I was protecting you,"

You tap his nose lightly, effectively erasing his pout. "And what a way to describe it, my favourite hero,"

_____

ZAYNE

Zayne’s arm snaps out like a barrier when the shopper rams into you with their shopping basket.

“Watch your trajectory,” he says coldly, his gaze already scanning you for injury.

The stranger scoffs- until Zayne steps closer, his voice dropping. “Apologize.”

They flee instead.

“Coward.” Zayne adjusts his glasses as he glares into the distance.

And then, with a softer voice and a hand on your elbow, he asks- “Are you hurt?”

“No,” you reply, a grin finding its way onto your face at how he's looking at you with that familiar, gentle concern. “but my heart is beating fast, doctor Zayne,”

A frown touches his brows for a brief moment- and then he speaks.

“I would rule out a medical anomaly. It's likely a physiological response to unexpected events,”

“My diagnosis- Zayne being too attractive when he shows his protective side,” you quip, a small bubble of laughter escaping when he pinches the bridge of his nose to hide a smile.

Yet, his hand remains at your back long after, a silent promise of protection.

_____

RAFAYEL

You are just lowering your arm from an interactive wall display, when someone pushes past you to get to your spot.

“Excuse you!” Rafayel’s voice rings across the gallery as the attendee excitedly places their own palm against the glowing wall.

He swoops in, draping himself over your shoulders like a human shield.

“Hey, you! She isn’t interactive art, you brute!”

The stranger stammers an apology under his glare.

“Honestly,” he huffs, steering you away and towards a different exhibit, “some people have the grace of a horseshoe crab,”

But when he holds you, his touch is gentle. “You’re my masterpiece,” he tells you. “No one gets to leave fingerprints on my cutie.”

The way his grip tightens on your waist tells you he won't hesitate to protect at any cost in the world.

_____

CALEB

Your ice cream cone hits the concrete just as the stranger gets past you.

In one fluid motion, Caleb steps around you, stopping the stranger in their tracks. His reflexes make the movement seem smooth and effortless.

“You okay?” he asks over his shoulder, voice light- but his stance is anything but. The stranger mumbles an apology under his sharp gaze.

Once they’re gone, Caleb exhales, ruffling his hair. “Damn. And that was stracciatella.”

When he pulls you close, the warmth has returned to his eyes. “Next time,” he murmurs, lips at your temple, “I’m using gravity to stick ‘em to the sidewalk.”

“Caleb-”

He grins. “Should we try a different ice cream flavour, or are you still feeling like stracciatella?”

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

Exhausted, Papyrus fell on his knees in the dust. It was covering everything in the room, from the floor to the ceiling. The main door was gone, like most of the windows. Thankfully, no monster tried to enter the balcony, too high. Papyrus crawled to pick up the door, still in one piece by some miracle, and put it in its place. The hinges were gone with a part of the wall, but he forced it to hold by nailing it with some planks that held the windows closed and was now on the floor.

He picked up his phone, hidden deep in his armor. His hands were still shaking with the adrenaline. Sans left about twenty messages, asking if he was fine, then warning him Frisk was gone, then asking him again if he was alright, more and more distressed as the hours went by.

Papyrus simply sent: "Alive. Frisk here." before walking to the kitchen to make sure the child was fine. Several bullets ricocheted against the closet door, but it faced the brunt efficiently. He cleared the chairs out of the way and opened the door, maybe too brutally.

Frisk screamed out of terror and threw themselves in the back of the cabinet. They curled up on themselves, hands on the head, sobbing uncontrollably. They were shaking as well.

Papyrus flinched. He saw himself at five years old, in the same position, as Sans was screaming and fighting for their lives in the living room. This was not a world to grow up. No child should ever be born in this hellish place. Bitter, he felt his soul squeezed painfully. It was his fault. He should have brought the child back to the Ruins. Frisk shouldn't have assisted to any of this.

The skeleton kneeled at their level. He never had been really talented to comfort people.

"Frisk? It's over, they're gone. You can come out."

He leaned a hand towards the human. Frisk kicked it away and tried to get as far as they could from him in the closet. Papyrus tried to stay neutral, but his face betrayed for a few seconds how much it hurt him. He didn't want Frisk to be scared of him. Not after everything they went through to protect them.

The skeleton looked around for a second and noticed a hole in the closet door. Small, but enough for a child to witness everything that happened outside. Frisk saw him slaughter attackers and end monsters on the floor without mercy. Papyrus felt guilty. He gave the child some space and sat in front of the closet, unsure what to do.

No Weakness, Chapter 3.

_______________________________________

Hello, hello!

I commissioned this masterpiece to @seirindono, a French (yeah, team French!) illustrator who works on a multi AU universe called The Missing Scarf, which is a banger. Really cool comic with lots of great characters that you really want to read. Go read it!

I wasn't sure on which fic I wanted a drawing at first, but since we already got one for Horrortale: Rotten Apple (thanks again Zeragii, love you), why not No Weakness?

It's a post-pacific Underfell fic where instead of breaking the Barrier, Sans refused Frisk to fight Asgore and brought them back in safety to Toriel. Now Papyrus, Undyne, Alphys, Mettaton, Toriel and Sans are hiding the child away, trying not to get killed.

The story however is about Undyne and Papyrus' friendship. After Papyrus surprises Undyne kissing Asgore, he is promoted to general of the Royal Guard. Except Papyrus knows something is really wrong here, since that role was obviously supposed to Undyne's. But the more he tries to understand, the more people try to dissuade him from learning more. All the hints lead to Asgore, but how to reach the monarch without getting himself killed, and by extension, those he cares the most about? Between his duty and his friendship, Papyrus will have to make a choice.

I asked for one of my favorite parts ever, which is the moment Frisk realizes how things really work in Underfell, after witnessing Papyrus committing carnage right after he got promoted to General. It's tradition :D

Anyway, if you want to read the story, it's right here. I'm on summer break right now, but new chapters are coming soon!

Thanks again to Seirindono for their amazing work, I love it so much <3 Really great artist, don't hesitate to commission them! They're really nice and pays great attention to details. It was really cool collaborating with you <3

Go send them some love!

[icanseethefuture333]

Asteroid Born (13954) 🍏🍎: “Why the apple doesn’t fall so far from the tree 🍄‍🟫”

How you were conceived + Why were you born into this lifetime 🏡♥️🥧

Aries Born / Born in the 1st House:

You are very courageous and bold when it comes to your self expression. Your parents might have considered you as a “busy body” and always had to keep you entertained as an infant. Probably one of those babies who would make funny expressions when they were mad. During pregnancy, your mother could have dealt with a lot of kicking, heartburns, and/or tummy aches. Childbirth as well may have hurt or been difficult due to you having a larger head as a baby (oops!). I see the parents being relatively active during pregnancy, perhaps your parents went to the gym or played sports still. You were born into this world to discover your unique individuality and coming to terms with your identity. Some of you must learn how to embrace all parts of yourself whether that is your physical appearance, sexuality, or personality. Were you raised to feel shame or had to hide some parts of yourself? How can you approach these factors in everyday life? Practicing self validation instead of seeking it from an outside source would be helpful. Focus on establishing a routine of self love and confidence in everyday life, this will attract the most success. Engaging in exercise activities for children such as dodgeball, double dutch, or hopscotch could help you reconnect to your inner child.

Taurus Born / Born in the 2nd house:

Ahhh the spoiled babies. You guys had it all when you were born. Very lavish and comfy childbirth. Your mothers could have gained a lot of weight and ate very yummy foods during pregnancy. Refined palettes with the exception of late snacks and cheeses (I bet these moms would ask people to have a glass of wine for them lol). Your mother could have been feeling very lazy and lethargic, very much so a couch potato. I also see them receiving compliments on how beautiful they look pregnant. I even see the dads gaining weight and getting a dad bod out of support for the mom lol. It is likely you were sensitive to touch when you were born, needing a security blanket or something soft to make you feel safe and protected. Your purpose in life is to understand that money is a wonderful tool but it cannot solve all of your problems. You have to reflect on your values and how you can provide a secure and stable home to yourself. It also important to realize what you are prioritizing in life. Do you have a follow a diet? Are you putting others before your own needs? Do you want to be successful in life but are not implementing healthy habits into your routine? Write a list of goals that you would like to accomplish and figure out methods to make these things come to life, while also keeping your mind stimulated so you won’t fall back in laziness and self sabotaging habits.

Gemini Born / Born in the 3rd House:

Yappers! These babies learned to speak at a few months old. It is likely they were very vocal as infants and could express themselves very easily. Your parents could have had a duality to themselves, which may have resulted in uneasiness or not sure which side of them you were seeing that day. I also interpret this as having parents that switched roles or don’t follow gender stereotypes (E.G: stay at home dad / working mom or having queer parents, etc). You may also have a twin! During pregnancy, your mother could have had many mood swings or experienced a lot of anxiety. I also see this as experiencing butterflies and talking a lot out of nervousness. Their conversations were engaging and interesting. Your parents could have even spoken to you while you were still in your mother’s tummy or played music for you to hear. In this lifetime, you were tasked with developing a community. Some of you are very smart but have difficulty forming connections with others or you are so comfortable speaking your mind that you don’t realize it can come off as blunt at times. Listen, we know you’re intelligent but sometimes you need to hear wisdom from other people in order grow in certain areas. If you have a sibling, you can rely on that bond with them to seek advice, they can help you understand a situation better. Since you have a dynamic personality, you can use your gift to communicate with individuals with different identities.

Cancer Born / Born in the 4th house:

The need to retreat and be at home is a prominent theme here. During pregnancy, your mother could have needed time alone or preferred to stay in the comfort of their home. Your parents could have prioritized privacy and shied away from being around new people besides family members. The childbirth was an intimate and emotional moment for your parents. Your birth could have been at home as well. Whoever was considered family was also in the room when you were born. As an infant you may have needed more physical touch and cried consistently. These babies are likely to be at the hip or maybe even slept in the same room as their parents. There is a strong attachment to your family. In this lifetime you are meant to discover your ancestral lineage and establish a strong connection with relatives. Parenthood could be significant in your life as well if you choose to have children. You are meant to act as a nurturing figure in other people's lives. If you are not close with your family, then it is likely you need to understand what family means to you. Sometimes family can be our friends, pets, or our partner, whichever you decide - there is no right or wrong way to love someone.

Leo Born / Born in the 5th house:

The star of the family. I'm seeing this placement as having social media parents or your mom going viral for pregnancy vlogs. Your birth could have been very talked about or you were adored by family for being popular or cute as a baby. Maybe some of you even did commercials or modeled when you were really young, I also see this apply to your parents. Your parents could have felt even more creative during pregnancy, like maybe your mother painted, sung, or danced more. I also see this as a surprise baby or the way you were conceived was considered a blessing. For some of you, your parents could have been trying for a baby and were so excited to finally have you. There is a lot of focus on joy and celebration. Some of you had parents who threw a gender reveal party or had a big baby shower. You were born into this world to play, I feel that this could be difficult for this placement, since the world can bring us down at times but your energy is whats needed. You need to express yourself and let go of the worries that is holding you back. Have fun, play games, be silly, and just do whatever hobbies that allows you to be be free. I also see that working with children or interacting with the children in your family will increase your happiness. Lastly, take a lighthearted approach to love, enjoy the wonders of romance without the over complications of it.

Virgo Born / Born in the 6th house:

Health was an important factor to your parents when it came to conceiving a child. Perhaps one of your parents was infertile? Or suffered from some kind of illness that made the pregnancy difficult. Your mother could have been more prone to morning sickness such as vomiting or nausea. I also see that they had a routine, they could have had to balance work while also being pregnant. Animals were significant as well. So your parents possibly turned to a pet for comfort or realized they were pregnant because of a pet. For some of you, your mother could have been the type to clean before giving birth. Something about cleaning or being tidy to feel more prepared. As a baby, you could have sneezed a lot or gotten colds. Your immune system was often compromised and this concerned your parents. You could have had your immunization shots early on. This is something your parents were not going to argue about lol. In this lifetime, you need to take care of all aspects of your health - physical, mental, and emotional health. You also need a routine, you can be disorganized at times, and require a set system to keep you on the right track. Also romanticizing the little things would help you appreciate life. You could often overlook what's right in front of you and disregard living in the moment, you have so much abundance right in front of you. Having plants or keeping a pet would help provide a safe space. Also engaging in light exercise, offering to be of service to people, and meditation will ease your anxiety.

Libra Born / Born in the 7th house:

Made with love lol. Your parents were very much so enamored with each other when you were conceived. Its giving "I know their parents high five every time they see what they made". You could have been considered a very beautiful baby or received a lot of compliments from people. Your parents as well had a nice maternity shoot. Your mother was very radiant and glowing, probably had rosy cheeks and everything. You may look to your parents for when you need an example on love and what to look for in relationships. Your parents saw each other as equals or followed traditional roles. Some of you could also have parents who work in law so they could care a lot about appearances and maintaining a good image. It is important that you learn the difference between love and superficial attraction. You are adored by many but because of that adoration it could potentially lead you to not go past a surface level. Share the parts of yourself that is most beautiful, such as your kindness, and fairness towards others. The way you treat people makes them feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Your relationship with others as well as yourself is important to your self development. Working in business or giving back to your support system could give you a new perspective.

Scorpio Born / Born in the 8th house:

This placement has an interesting aura to it. Some of these babies could be an only child or something about the way they were born was transformative. It is possible a family member died before or after you were born, there had to be a loss before you could be conceived. Your mother could have felt that childbirth was traumatic and could of put her in a state of shock, or even dealt with a near death experience. The overall experience of pregnancy was very intense for your parents. It was definite that you would be the last baby to be born because of such factors. You could have also been given an inheritance or were indebted to someone or something. It is possible that you were next in line such as an heir to a family business or lived in a home that passed down for many generations. There might have been paranormal activities when you were born or you were like those babies that would laugh randomly when nothing was there, possibly seeing spirits. Being accepting of change will make things easier in your life. It is likely that you resist transformation due to how deeply you feel your emotions, it can be triggering and exhausting. Try to have a positive outlook on the changes of your life and realize the blessings in the lessons you have experienced. Sex could be a healing factor in your life or it is a way to find pleasure in engaging with your senses.

Sagittarius Born / Born in the 9th house:

It is likely that these babies were born while their parents were traveling or they even could have been adopted. Your mother was likely traveling when she gave birth to you or had to give birth in public. For some of you, your mother was pregnant as she went to college or often went to church. Your parents were very wise and philosophical. There could have been a midwife or doula present during your birth. You may also be of a diverse background, so you may have lived in different places as infant or was exposed to different identities. I also interpret this as possibly having older parents or your parents have an old soul. You are an intelligent person. It is time for you to practice the wisdom in everyday life. You are philosophical, wise, and multi-cultured but you lack in practicing what you preach. You have to be open minded and optimistic when it comes to learning new things. Traveling, reading philosophy, praying to spirit or a deity, or having in depth conversations with people would provide clarity in your life. You need to experience spiritual refreshment in order to continue to feel peace. Study more!!! The answers you seek is in the knowledge that you already have. You are missing out on great opportunities when you choose not to use your resources.

Capricorn Born / Born in the 10th house:

You may come from a prestigious family or they are known for having a reputable reputation. Your parents could work for a well known company and have a higher position. Very business savvy individuals. Your mother could have worked despite being pregnant and had to face discrimination for it, or I see her taking a comfortable maternity leave thanks to the other parent being the financial provider. Your father could be someone who is strict or has high expectations as well. As a baby, you were self sufficient and independent. You did not require as much attentive care as other babies did. Although, this may have affected your attachment style. You could be avoidant when it comes to expressing emotions and when it comes to difficult feelings you focus on work instead. You were meant to be the boss in this lifetime. Your work ethic comes from your genetics. You have the drive and motivation that many people don’t have. It is important that you learn to follow your intuition and realize that you need to also seek what provides emotional fulfillment. You are responsible and dedicated to those around you as well as your career. Make sure to not overly sacrifice your well being for the sake of others. It is okay to take breaks and focus on your own happiness. Being more grounded with reality and your emotions is necessary for your self development and creating discipline.

Aquarius Born / Born in the 11th house:

The way these babies were conceived could be non-traditional. Your parents could have had a one night stand or had sex after only knowing each other for a weeks (or even months). Definitely an unexpected child or you were not planned. Your mother would have weird cravings or eat odd food combinations. Her personality was also deemed as quirky or her behavior seemed peculiar. Your mother also could have dressed differently or had unique maternity clothes. Your parents’ social life could have boomed after having children, making connections with family, or met new friends. Some of you could have parents who are well known on the internet. These babies have the potential of being internet stars or memes. Growing up, you may have felt ostracized and did not feel welcome in most places. Your goal in life is to learn how to rebel again the norm and embrace being unique by tapping into your individuality. Also learning how to make friends or establishing connections with others, even if it seems difficult. You were meant to have a social circle that will be there to teach you wisdom and give you guidance when needed. The longevity of these friendships is not what’s important but the lessons that comes with them. Once you are able to accept yourself and all the perks that comes with it, you will be able to reach better opportunities. Using technology as a tool could assist you with your goals.

Pisces Born / Born in the 12th house:

Childbirth could have been a spiritual experience for your mother. It is likely she already knew she would be pregnant before she even realized. Your parents are very intuitive, they even had dreams about you before you were born. When your mother was pregnant, she felt very emotional and in tune with what you were feeling. I believe these parents would go to Lamaze together or some sort of meditative exercise to make sure that the birth was at least peaceful and safe. Some of you had a water birth or were born near watery places such as the ocean, a pool, etc. A doula or midwife was likely to be present as well. As a child, you were very dreamy and creative. You are very expressive and have a great imagination. You were blessed in this lifetime with psychic abilities or great empathy. You are able to read the room and give people the safe space that they need. Your energy is very comforting and serene. I believe because of your sensitive nature it is likely for you to fall in codependent relationships. It is crucial that you learn to set boundaries and separate fantasy from reality. Take your time to get to know people before you see the “best” in them. You also need to realize you are not a victim but a person who has overcome hardships. Whatever you went through in the past does not apply to you now, you have the freedom of choice, and you get to decide who you want to be. Use your intuition and manifest your goals by connecting with your higher self. Do not allow people, especially partners to “manic pixie dream girl” you.

[aeristudios]

Stupid Cupid

➻❥ 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: You are madly in love with your best friend and it's eating you alive. One day you will tell him how you feel, but you have to deal with his girlfriend first.

➻❥ 𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: best friend!hansol x reader

➻❥ 𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: 18+, roommates au, best friends to ?, angst, fluff, smut

➻❥ 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: cursing, jealousy, fight is kind of intense, kissing, protected sex, nipple play?, fingering, oral (f. receiving), masturbation, missionary, multiple orgasms?

➻❥ 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬: 9.1k

➻❥ 𝐀𝐍: This for the collab "Lonely Hearts Cafe", hosted by @camandemstudios. This story truly stressed me out and I couldn't have gotten through it without @yoongihan, @seokgyuu, @okiedokrie and & @haologram for looking at this for me. I don't do well with deadlines and the words just weren't coming to me naturally. It was eating me up and giving me headaches lol. I hope despite that, you all like this labor of love 😭

You are in love with Hansol. 

Hopelessly, stupidly, trip over your feet when he’s around, butterflies in your stomach kind of love. He’s everything you could want in a guy and your best friend, someone you can just chill with no expectations. You both love Star Wars, attend anime cons together, and are allergic to peanuts. You share a home with him and it feels like home in your heart when he’s near. You’re in love with Hansol. There is only one problem: he has an on-and-off girlfriend. 

A girlfriend you particularly hate. 

Kelsey is always around, taking up your space, and it’s aggravating. You wish you could say that it’s not serious, but to your chagrin, they have been on and off for a couple of years. It’s bad enough that you can’t tell Hansol how you feel, but then you have his girlfriend, a huge social media influencer, always at your condo every time you’re there. You would think she would like to take her “influence " elsewhere. It’s exacerbating. 

“Hey there girl,” Kelsey calls out as you walk to the kitchen. She is sprawled out with her laptop on your living room floor rug, wearing a cut-off shirt, the tiniest shorts you have ever seen, and knee-high socks. Where does she live again?

“What’s up?” you respond, barely hiding the irritation in your voice. 

“Oof, you’re definitely not a morning person,” she scoffs. “Do you think you can stay out tonight? Vernon has this Hollywood thing he has to attend to tonight, and he is stressed about it. So I want to help him relax if you know what I mean.” 

You raise your eyebrows at her referring to him as Vernon, which he only tells his coworkers to call him. Hansol is a cinematographer, and a damned good one. He works for a major film studio and is invited to parties all the time. He only goes for the free food and booze, he says, because those people don’t care about anything but themselves and their pockets, let alone pronouncing his first name correctly.

Kelsey is not a coworker; she is, unfortunately, his girlfriend. Why doesn’t she call him by his preferred name?

“What does you wanting to help Hansol relax have to do with me being here?” you ask, making yourself a cup of coffee. 

“Well.” She clicks her tongue. “It’ll be pretty awkward for me to be blowing his brains out while you’re here, ya know?”

You bite your lip to keep yourself from saying what is on your mind, instead focusing on making your elaborate coffee with whipped cream and caramel syrup on top. This girl really has some nerve. 

“Kelsey,” you let out a small sigh. “I’m not leaving my house because you want to fuck. Do whatever you please.” You slam the whipped cream can on the container. “It’s nothing I haven’t heard before.” 

Irritated, you walk past her and speed into the hallway, almost running into Hansol, who is leaving his bedroom. Wearing a red shirt and pajama pants, he has bedroom hair and a hint of sleep in his eyes. He looks adorable. 

“Where are you running off to?” His voice is deep and groggy. 

“I am running away from that peach of a girlfriend you have in there.” You roll your eyes. “Plus, I have to get ready for work.” 

“Oh no, what did she do now?” 

“Nothing, aside from asking me to stay out of the condo that I pay for tonight so she can fuck you as loud as she wants,” you say bluntly. 

Hansol’s eyes widen in shock, the little sleepiness he had evaporated. “She didn’t say that?” 

“She just about said that,” you sigh, leaning on the wall. “Look, I have to get ready for my day, but we have to have a conversation later. Not tonight, because I know that party is happening. But at some point, we do.” 

“Okay,” he says, looking at the floor. “I’m sorry.” 

“No need to be sorry,” you sigh again, deeply this time. “Let’s just chat soon, okay?”

You step into your room and shut the door, your heart beating out of your chest. That was not a conversation you want to have early in the morning, and Kelsey being around more and more makes you erratic. Eventually, a conversation will have to be had about how much time she is spending here and everything. But right now, you will sip your elaborate coffee and try to get through the day. 

You met Hansol on the first day of college. You needed help finding your classes and ironically you shared some classes required for your majors. You wanted to be a film director and figured a film studies degree would get you there. Hansol loved being behind the camera, recording the magic in front of him. You shared the same study group and met your other best friends, Minghao and Wonwoo. Minghao has a good eye for design and wanted to work on set designs and costumes while Wonwoo is equally obsessed with cameras, often geeking out with Hansol about the different models they wanted to collect one day. You even lived together at one point, your friendship group known as the ��core four”, until one by one, everyone moved out and it was just you and him. 

You didn’t fall in love with him right away. It was a slow, simmering thing that snuck in and robbed your heart and mind before you realized it. You were together all the time and enjoyed the same things. You’ve seen each other at your worst, depended on each other, and celebrated your successes together. Hansol was your go-to for everything, and you didn’t realize until he started dating Kelsey that you were in love. But how can you tell him that?

“Okay, what’s wrong?”

Minghao sits next to you during your lunch break the same day, bringing you meat and stir fry that he brought from home. His girlfriend, Mei, who is an excellent cook and very sweet, sent you a text this morning that she was bringing some with him to the studio today. You worked for a major studio as an SFX artist, falling in love with prosthetics and makeup in one of your courses and deciding to pursue that instead. You still have your bachelors in film studies and your love for film hasn’t changed; you just went on a different path. You’re happier for it. 

“Thank you for the food,” you breathe, purposely dodging his question. 

“You’re welcome,” he replied, handing you Tupperware of colorful stir fry. “What’s wrong?”

“What makes you think anything is wrong with me?” 

Minghao raises an eyebrow with a familial side-eye as he distributes utensils, the kind of look parents give you when they know you’re telling a lie. He knows you so well, and he has always been good at reading people. You can talk to him about anything, and he is going to give you the hard truth, even if you don’t want to hear it. After a moment, you tell him what happened this morning and he is silent, taking it all in.

“She is really getting on my nerves,” you huff, accidentally slamming your plastic fork on the table. Your colleagues around you look in your direction nervously, and you are mortified, wishing you could wiggle your nose and disappear like the genie on the old TV show. 

“Are you sure it’s because of her, or is it because of him?” Minghao asks casually, taking a sip of his tea. 

“W-what do you mean?” you play aloof, not wanting to open another can of worms. “This has nothing to do with Hansol, though I wish he would tell her to not come over to our place all the time. I don’t get what he even sees in her.” 

“Sure,” he says with a smirk, barely containing his amusement. “I’m sure it has nothing to do with the fact that you are in love with him.”

“Ugh,” you groan, sliding further in your seat. “I wish I never told you that.” 

“You didn’t have to.” His smile widening into a teasing grin. “Even the blind could see your bleeding heart for him.”

“Yeah, apparently everyone can but him,” you mutter, taking a stab at your food. 

Minghao chuckles softly, shaking his head. “Well don’t take your frustration out on the food. Mei put a lot of love into that.” 

You mumble “sorry”, feeling guilty and eating your food in silence. If it were another day and you were in a better mood, you would savor it more. But all you want is for the work day to end, so you can curl in your bed and figure out how to navigate this unrequited love. 

“What if I told him how I felt?” 

You look up slowly at your friend, gauging his reaction. He already has the look of disapproval, and your stomach is in knots. 

“Yeah, that’s a terrible idea,” he says firmly. “Do you really want to start drama in the middle of the busiest season for us? Not to mention Kelsey will blast this all over social media.”

“I’m not scared of her,” you shoot back defiantly, crossing your arms. 

Minghao chuckles again, but it is lighter and paired with concern in his eyes. “Just think it through okay? Things are already complicated, and I don’t want to see you hurt.” 

He places a supportive hand on your shoulder as he packs up what’s left of his lunch and goes back to work. You sigh, knowing that he’s right, but it still doesn’t make it easier to hear. 

You planned to sleep through whatever escapade Kelsey had in mind with Hansol. You had your nightly tea with cinnamon horchata and set your phone to play ambient/vaporwave music to drown out whatever noise they might bring. They aren’t exactly the quietest people when they are in the mood, and you have been dreading it since this morning. 

A lot of times you have wondered what it would be like to experience him for the first time. You’ve heard enough of them to have an idea of what he is like, but it’s different from actually feeling him inside you, with his hands caressing your body. You want to feel his lips on yours and your skin against his. Is it possible to crave something that you’ve never had? You are tired of hearing the headboard banging against the wall and the moans that follow soon after. You are irritated with it all— You wish it were you instead. 

You heard the security system beep when the front door opened, and you lay in bed, waiting for the inevitable shuffling of feet and sloppy kisses that would follow after. Your stomach turns at the thought of her hands all over him, whispering sweet things in his ear that have no meaning. Silence ensues, leaving you confused, and your nosiness gets the best of you. Slowly getting out of bed, you slip into your house shoes, exiting your room quietly as you brace yourself for the grand display of affection you were used to seeing. Instead, you find Hansol on the couch, taking a hit of his vape, tiredness etching around his eyes. 

“How was the party?” You probe, taking a seat next to him and crossing your legs. “You look partied out.” 

“It was alright,” he mumbles, taking another hit of his vape. 

“Alright?” You quirk an eyebrow. “You have been talking about this party all month and it was just alright?”

You noticed his disposition and you don’t want to pry, but his nonchalant attitude is eating at you. Hansol can be hard to read sometimes, but you know him. He’s quiet with everyone else but not with you—he tells you everything. 

“Tell me what’s happened.” 

Hansol reluctantly answers, sighing heavily as he takes one more vape hit before setting it on the armrest. You move closer to him, giving him a reassuring smile. 

“Kelsey and I broke up again,” he said, the heaviness of his words linger in the air. The sadness in his voice is clear, and it hurts you to see him upset. “She wanted to bring a friend to the party and you can’t exactly do that. So when I told her no, she got all pissed at me, we argued and she broke up with me.” 

You bite your lip, trying to find the right words. “I’m really sorry, Hansol. Despite how I feel about her, I know you really love her, and being broken up with sucks.” 

He looks at you, his brown eyes reflecting a mix of tiredness and frustration. “She said it was more than just not letting her bring her friend to the party. She says I never consider her feelings and that’s not true. It just feels like we’re always going in circles. One minute, we’re good; the next, it’s like… it never even mattered.”

“Yeah, that can be exhausting,” you pause, wanting to say more but unsure how to articulate the feelings that bubble beneath the surface. This is not their first break up, but it affects him all the same. Seeing Hansol be madly in love with someone who keeps taking advantage of him burns you to your core. He doesn’t deserve that. He deserves someone who will take care of him with love and respect. Someone who values his ideas and cares about him as a person. You would give him the world if you could. 

“I hope I am not overstepping,” you say cautiously. “But this isn’t your first rodeo. Why do you keep going back?” 

His silence is deafening, and he has an uncomfortable expression on his face as he tries to find the right words to say. “Look, Kelsey can be a lot and full of herself, but she cares in her own way. When it’s just us, she is so attentive, funny, and warm—sort of. She has her moments,” he sighs again. “She makes me feel good in a way no one else has. I love her.”

Hearing him declare his love for her leaves you with a bitter taste in your mouth. It’s bad enough that you didn’t realize you were in love with him until after he started seeing her, and now after hearing this, you can never tell him how you feel. It’ll fuck up everything, despite it gnawing at you inside. 

“For what it’s worth, I hope that you two will be able to talk it out and figure out what you want to do.” You tell a strong lie, but you don’t want to hear more about his love for her. You can’t take it. “Do you want to chill for a bit? We can watch Revenge Of The Sith if you want.” 

He cracks a small smile, and for a moment, the weight in his eyes lightens. “Yeah, let’s just chill for a bit. That sounds cool.”

“Cool,” you reply, scrambling from the couch. “I’ll make some popcorn.” 

Tears threaten to break free as you beeline it to the kitchen, your heartache paining worse than before. “She makes me feel good in a way no one else has… I love her.” You keep replaying it in your head over and over. You almost wish you never left your room, and went to sleep like you planned. At least you would still have a bit of hope, instead of a cracked heart. 

A few weeks pass, and as the season change, so does the light in Hansol’s eyes. He is getting back to his normal self and is laughing again. As happy as you are for him, it feels like your heart is being pierced by shards of glass. It was foolish of you to think you could ever be with him, and Minghao was right: it will just complicate everything.  

You know he isn’t completely over Kelsey, and it’s going to take more than a few weeks to get over someone you love deeply. You used to have daydreams of cuddling with Hansol on the couch, watching horror movies, and being madly in love… you have to put it to bed, for good. You start distancing yourself, little by little. Whether it’s staying late at work or finding different excuses to be out of the house, it doesn’t matter. You’re still there for him as a friend, but you want to be free from this unrequited love. It was fucking with you. 

So here you are, at a bar, sitting with your date Seungcheol, who you met on a dating app. You just wanted a quick fix for your heartache, and they say the best way to get over someone is to get under another, right? He’s the one to fulfill that. 

Within an hour of talking to him, you learned he was the typical tech bro who went to an Ivy League school, liked to mansplain everything, and thought he was God’s gift to women. Whatever. It’s not like you planned on seeing him again after tonight. 

“You look real nice in that outfit,” he says, practically drooling over your little black dress and heels. 

“Do I?” You flirtatiously quirk an eyebrow. 

“Yeah.” Seungcheol nods, taking a sip of his gin. “I can’t wait to see what you look like underneath.”

It takes every fiber in your being to roll your eyes and walk out of there. Guys like Seungcheol annoy you, and you deal with them in small doses and go about your business. But he is a means to an end, and you will bat your eyes and tell him what he wants to hear to get what you want. You will deal with the consequences in the morning. 

You gaze at the clock displayed on the wall and it’s a quarter till eleven. Tired of hearing him talk, you lean in and whisper in his ear, your lips barely touching him. “Do you want to get out of here then? You said your place isn’t that far, right?”

His eyes are lit with desire, and you excuse yourself to the bathroom while he settles the bill. Stepping into the dimly lit bathroom, you take a good look in the mirror, adjust your dress, and apply the last bit of cherry red lipstick. The soft glow of the overhead light illuminates the traces of perfectly good makeup that you only bring out for special occasions. 

“Is this really what you want?”

Your words echo against the walls, your question answered by silence. With a deep breath, you straighten your posture, taking one last look before exiting the bathroom. Of course, this is what you want— you wouldn’t have gone this far if you didn’t. Seungcheol waits for you at the bar, biting his plump bottom lip as he scrolls through his phone. Seungcheol is as hot as they come, and it certainly makes this decision a bit easier. 

“Are you ready to go?”

He looks up as you close in on him, linking your arm through his. “Of course, I’m going to pull the car around front.”

You watch him walk away, twiddling your fingers as you wait in suspense. The bar smells of wood and stale beer, the heat pushed on blast to counter the cold outside. You slip on your coat, walking towards the front door when you hear laughter, a familiar one that brings butterflies to your stomach. Turning to your left, you see Hansol, walking into the same bar you’re leaving, with Wonwoo and a girl you don’t know. He was always a simple guy, wearing jeans and his favorite “Revenge Of The Nerds” hoodie with a goofy grin on his face. It’s your favorite thing to see.

All the feelings you keep trying to push aside rise in you at once, and when your eyes lock with this, you feel warm. Getting over him will not be easy. 

“Hey! What are you doing here?” Hansol says curiously. 

“She probably has a hot date,” Wonwoo teases and nudges your shoulder. 

“Well actually… I do.” 

Wonwoo’s mouth spreads into a wide grin, happy to be right. His girl companion tugs onto his coat, mumbling that she is freezing. She’s a short thing with jet-black hair and wears a nice shirt and a skirt that shows off her legs. Wonwoo isn’t the serial dater type, so it is a high possibility he’s on the same mission you were: fuck and move on. 

“Really?” Hansol’s voice peaks an octave higher than normal. “Who’s the guy?”

“O-oh, um, you don’t know him,” you stumble through your words. “He’s just someone I met. We are heading to his place actually.” 

“W-what?” Hansol looks surprised, his expression etched with concern. “Are you sure it's a good idea?”

“I’ll be fine,” you say, looking down at your heels. “I’ll send you my location when I’m there, okay?”

In the nick of time, Seungcheol pulls up in his Mercedes, opening the car door from his seat to let you in. 

“There he is,” you announce, walking towards the luxury car. “I’ll text you later, yeah?”

Hansol stares intently at Seungcheol before looking at you, his eyes softening as you get into the passenger seat. You wave as he pulls off, the bar becoming out of view as you drive through downtown. Your nerves are shot, and you feel rattled. Of all the places to be, you had to see him at the bar? The universe has a sense of humor. 

“Who were those people back there?” Suengcheol’s deep voice breaks through your thoughts. “The one with the hoodie looked like he was going to pound me.” 

“Oh they are my best friends from college,” you say casually. “Well, I don't know the girl but yeah. Besides, Hansol, the one with the hoodie, he wouldn’t hurt a fly.” 

You can confidently say out of all the years you have known him, Hansol, you have never seen him get aggressive with anyone. The most emotion you see from him is when he talks about cameras, film, or his love for Kel—. 

“I don’t have anything to worry about, do I?”

Shaking your head and changing the mood, you strategically place your hand on his thigh, smiling mischievously. “Now are we going to talk about my friends all night, or do you want to do something more exciting?”

To say Hansol is bothered is an understatement. 

You didn’t come home last night and even though he knew where you were, it still gnaws at him. It was unlike you. You always came home. It’s irking him. You are always there. 

Hansol noticed that you hadn’t been around as much, and he assumed it had something to do with work, which he understood since you both work in the same industry. But seeing you with that guy with the fancy Benz, dressed in clothes you rarely wear and your hair different from your usual look—it was all he could think about. You looked beautiful last night, and he wasn’t sure why he didn’t see it before. What maddened him the most was that he couldn’t figure out why. He just knew that you were not there, and it didn’t feel right. 

Hansol slowly got out of his bed and checked the time on his phone, 9:37 am in bold letters on his lock screen. His head raged from the hangover he caught from last night’s drinking. He is a lightweight and he knows he drank more than he should, but he was still dealing with the aftermath of the breakup with Kelsey. It’s been a few weeks and though he was feeling better, he still cared about her. He just wanted to not think or feel for a few hours. Now his thoughts are plagued by you. 

He sauntered out of his room, the sunlight hit him like a wall, momentarily blinding him. He reached for a bottle of water, hoping to ease the throbbing in his head. A few moments later, Wonwoo opened the spare room, yawning and adjusting his glasses. Hansol was too drunk to drive, and Wonwoo was sober enough to take him home. The date that he brought last night, who he learned was named Jules, sheepishly appeared behind him, adjusting her dress as she took her walk of shame. Hansol heard murmuring but couldn’t make out what they were saying, but shortly after the door shut with a click, with Wonwoo leaning against it, an amusing grin on his face. 

“Is that your next victim?” Hansol teased. 

“Eh, maybe,” he shrugged. “She is more tolerable than the others.” 

“Uh-huh,” he surmised, drinking the last bits of his water. “We’ll see how long this one lasts.” 

Wonwoo is a notorious dater if you want to call it that. He has always had the philosophy that being tied down isn’t for him and he would rather run through the mill than be with someone he always likes. He is a fine art photographer who travels quite a bit, and he is always bragging about how it wouldn’t make sense for him to be in a relationship. He blows where the wind goes, and Hansol has always respected that he stayed true to himself. 

Wonwoo chuckled as he grabbed the water next to Hansol, clutching it as he drank it empty. He looked at your closed room door, his eyebrows raised curiously. 

“She isn’t here?” Wonwoo probed, pointing at your door. 

“No,” Hansol mumbled, followed by a slight ping in his chest. “She might still be out.” 

“Uh, huh,” Wonwoo concluded, eyeing him oddly. “Sounds like she had a good night.” 

“Yeah, I bet,” Hansol said bitterly, his fingers rubbing his right temple. “It’s not like her to stay overnight at some douche’s house. Something is up.” 

“A douche, huh?” Wonwoo curved into a sly grin. “How do you know the guy is a douche? He could be a cool guy.” 

“Come on, he drives an S-class Mercedes and wears an Apple watch. I’m willing to bet he’s some tech bro.”

“And?” Wonwoo challenged. “That doesn’t make him a bad guy. If I don’t know any better I would say you are jealous.” 

Hansol rolled his eyes at his accusation, though the thought of you canoodling with the tech bro made him feel a certain way. “I’m not jealous. I am just… concerned, that’s all.” 

“Yeah, let’s call it that.” 

The alarm beeped from the front door and you walked in slowly, looking as put together as you did last night. Hansol paled as if he was caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to, and Wonwoo looked amused, folding his arms as he leaned against the counter. 

“Oh hey, party girl,” Wonwoo greeted you. “We were just talking about you.”

“Were you now?” You said with raised eyebrows, slowly taking off your heels. 

“Y-yeah, we were wondering if you made it home,” Hansol said nervously. “Well, you’re here now so.”

“Did you have a good time?” Wonwoo probed you further. “Will you see him again?

You look down at the floor, your face heating up from embarrassment. They typically don’t ask about your dating life, so why does it matter now?

“Maybe,” you murmured, biting your lip. “I’m going to go shower and get out of these clothes.” 

Hansol watched you as you walked into your room, shutting the door behind you quietly. He is relieved that you made it home safe, but he still feels conflicted about how he feels. Is he in fact, jealous?

“I’m going to go home and get some sleep,” Wonwoo announced, clapping a hand on Hansol’s shoulder. 

He let himself out and Hansol went back to his room, collapsing on his bed. Stirred emotions and thoughts rumbled through his head, and he closed his eyes, determined to think things through with a clearer head. 

His phone buzzed on his nightstand, and he sluggishly grabbed it, groaning at his notifications. A new message from Kelsey flashed as he swiped up on his screen. “I miss you.”

It’s been over a week since you saw Hansol, and you would be a liar to say that you were fine. You miss him. 

Your night with Seungcheol was fun, and he was a good fuck, but your mind kept drifting back to Hansol… imagining it was him. Seungcheol was nice enough to let you sleep in if you wanted and made sure you were good before you left, but you know it’s not going to go anywhere. Deep down he knows that too. 

God, you are a mess. 

You decided to keep busy with work and find things outside of your condo that made you happy, and that’s what led you here tonight, at the local movie theater. Around this time every year, they play five showings for free as a thank-you for the community supporting the theater for the past ten years. Princess Mononoke is the movie of the night, and you are standing in line, waiting to buy your ticket. It’s one of your favorite comfort movies in the world, and you never miss a chance to watch it, especially when you are feeling down. 

The weather is cooler than what was forecasted, and the slight breeze makes you tug on your coat tightly. You and Hansol did this every year together—and it feels weird alone. Unnatural even. You remember having long discussions about the movies you saw and what made them great. You love seeing the twinkle in his eye when he talks about the type of camera lens that was used and what it took to get certain shots. In return, he would listen to you vividly as you rambled about the time and craft it took to create special effects or a certain mask. Those times made you feel connected with him in a way no one could understand, and it's one of the main reasons why you fell in love with him. 

You purchase your ticket and walk inside the old building, the smell of buttery popcorn attacking your senses as soon as you open the door. The interior has been the same since you have been coming here, with high lights in the ceilings, vintage movie posters, and the same plush crimson carpet that matches the drapes on the windows. It has character and it feels cozy, like you are a kid again. 

You give the attendant your ticket and he rips the lower stub, pointing you in the direction of which theater room you need to go to. Your stomach rumbled with a slight ache, reminding you that you have not eaten since this morning. You were never really the breakfast type, as you normally just wake up and go about your day. You have a million things on your mind, and just for a little while, you want to shut it off. Princess Mononoke usually does that. 

Your phone buzzes slightly in your jacket and you look at Hansol’s name on the screen, hesitant to answer. It wouldn’t hurt to hear his voice for a little bit, right?

“Hey, you,” you say, biting your lip. 

“Hey, turn around,” he replies, his voice sounding louder than it should. 

Turning around slowly, you watch him walk through the doors, the sunlight trailing behind him like a halo. He sports an old college hoodie, faded jeans, and a smile, and in this moment, he almost takes your breath away. 

“I would ask what you are doing here, but I know better than that,” you joke lightheartedly. 

“Yeah, you know I’ll never miss this,” Vernon says, looking around at the theater. “Man, this place still looks the same.” 

“I know,” you agree, fidgeting with the ticket in your hand. “How did you know I was here?” 

“Because I know you,” he shrug. “I tried calling you to see if you wanted to come tonight, but you never picked up. So I came here.” 

“You called?” You give him a puzzled look. “I don’t remember you ca—”

You scroll through your notifications, seeing the three missed calls from him throughout the day. Even texted you but you didn’t see it. You had your phone on do not disturb mode, and you didn’t think to check any of your messages. Maybe you are just being childish. 

“See,” he nudges your shoulder playfully. “I told you.” 

“Yeah, yeah” you roll your eyes teasingly. “Are you watching Mononoke too?”

“You know it,” he nods. “I’ll grab the popcorn and nachos. Go find us a seat?”

You watch him make his way to the concession stand, butterflies swirling in your stomach as the familiar feeling of home swells in your chest. You head to the third room on the right, snagging seats in the middle row that give you a perfect viewing of the movie. The lights dim as you sit down, with the old previews from 1997 playing on the screen giving you a major flashback to the past. In this moment you feel good and content, despite wanting to come here alone and avoid Hansol at all costs. You wouldn’t call yourself a fickle person, but you are glad your plans did change. Being around him feels just right. 

The movie starts a few minutes later, and Hansol appears right as it starts, searching the rows until he finds you. His face softens and his lips curve into a smile, taking a seat next you and handing you a popcorn and a cherry coke. 

“I haven’t missed anything, have I?”

You shake your head softly, avoiding his gaze and the pitter-patter he gives your heart. 

“No, you made it just in time.”

Hansol had a good time with you. 

It felt comfortable and familiar to be with you while he watched one of his favorite movies. He didn’t actually know that you were going to be there; he just took a chance and hoped you would be there, and like fate, you were standing in the middle of the theater. There was no awkwardness, he didn’t feel like he was walking on eggshells every time he had something on his mind. You just got him, and it felt like a breath of fresh air. 

It’s been a couple of weeks since then, and you have been hanging at the house more. Before he was lucky to catch you in the mornings when you left for work or you would come home late at night when he was already asleep. Even though things were getting back to normal, his thoughts of you continued to grow, and even though he wasn't sure of a lot of things, he knew one thing: he had missed you. 

“Earth to Vernon, hello?”

Hansol snapped out of his thoughts, refocusing on Kelsey as he sat across from her at her house. She asked him to come over and talk, and after thinking it over, he agreed, setting up a time to talk when she came back in town. Kelsey looked beautiful, sporting a white halter top and blue jean shorts, her skin sun-kissed from the vacation she took to the Cayman Islands. Her raven-black hair fell past her shoulders, swaying slightly as she talked about her trip. 

“Where is your head at today?” Kelsey pouted, her eyebrows furrowed in frustration. “I feel like you aren’t listening to me.”

Hansol shook his head, shaking you out of his mind. “I’m listening. All I do is listen.” 

“No, you don’t,” Kelsey retorted. “You didn’t listen to me about the party or kick that girl out of your condo—”

“I already told you, that’s not happening,” Vernon pushed back. “ And that girl has a name. Why would I kick her out? It makes no sense.” 

“You know why Vernon.” 

“No, I don’t. You’re being unreasonable.” 

Kelsey rolled her eyes and threw her hands up in the air. “We have been together almost three years and you haven’t asked me to move in. I asked you plenty of times to think about our future and to limit your time with her. You refuse to do it. Why is that?”

“Whoa, that’s bullshit!” Hansol’s anger rose through his chest. “You have never said “let’s move in together” or anything like that. If anything, all you have talked about lately is getting you into industry parties to build your brand. Also, I did start spending less time with her. What are you on about?”

“Because I am supposed to be your best friend!” Kelsey shouted. “You don’t even do the same things with me that you do with her. I bet she leaps with joy every time we have a break.” 

“She’s not like that,” Hansol said defensively. “She’s always been there for me and encouraged me to work it out with you. To your other point, every time I ask you to do something with me, something I want to do for once, you say it’s childish and that I need to grow up” 

“Because Vernon, who the hell still watches Star Wars?” Kelsey scoffs. “You are not a nine-year-old boy. You’re a grown man. Fucking act like it.” 

Hansol sighed, feeling drained and defeated. Star Wars meant a lot to him, as it was the main inspiration for why he wanted to get into cinematography and study film. It’s how he bonded with his dad. She knew that and still decided to insult him about it every chance she got. He wasn’t sure what the future looked like before he arrived, but the tension he felt in his chest and the ache in his heart made things a lot more clear. He still cared about Kelsey, more than he should, but it’s time to move on

“This… isn’t going to work,” Hansol rubbed his temple. “The fact that you still call me Vernon, knowing how formal it makes me feel, says a lot. I don’t know what happened to the girl I fell in love with, but clearly she’s gone. We’re done.” 

“Yeah, right,” Kelsey said incredulously. “You aren’t leaving me—”

“Yes, I am.” Hansol resolved. “This relationship has been one-sided for a while now. I’m sick of this.” 

Hansol got up from the table and handed her his copy of her apartment key. Kelsey looked bewildered, realizing that he was serious, and he wasn’t coming back this time. 

“So that’s it? You are just going to throw this all away? For her? She’s in love with you and you don’t even see it. All the times you have let her disrespect me and put up with her crap. I bet this was her idea.”

“You weren’t exactly nice to her either,” Hansol retorted, his heart beating out his chest. “She has been there for me when you weren’t. She cares about what I’m interested in. We like the same things. I don’t have to wonder if she cares about me and my family loves her. She’s smart, kind, beautiful and I love he—”

He stopped himself before he completed his sentence, shook at what was about to come out of his mouth. He was still grappling with his feelings for you and what that meant, and he still couldn’t put any words to what it all meant… until now.

“It’s not just about her,” Hansol said. “It’s everything with us, and the fact that you still don’t get it, tells me everything I need to know. Take care, Kelsey.”

He left the apartment before she started her next tirade, with a storm brewing in the night sky. He hated the way she talked about you like you were insignificant. You didn’t deserve the vitriol Kelsey spat every time you came up in conversation. You weren’t the warmest person, but you always made him feel seen and were there for him no matter what. You got his humor and his late-night thoughts about the latest webtoon he just read. His thoughts of you biting your lip when you’re nervous or the quirky thing you do with your eyebrow when you tell a story; he loved it all. It took for this to happen to see what he had in front of him all this time. He missed you when you aren’t around and it drove him crazy to see you on a date with that tech bro. 

Realization hit him like a punch in the gut as he turned the ignition: he’s been in love with you this whole time. Now how the hell does he tell you that?

The harsh sound of thunder makes the hairs on your neck stand up, dropping your iPad on your lap. It’s suddenly dark in your room, light from the partly cloudy day gone and replaced by storm clouds and flashing lightning. Your condo sits on the 10th floor, and the sound is much more elevated, sending chills down your spine. You hate being alone when it storms. 

You heard Hansol leave earlier and you wanted to clear your head, and so you decided to work on some sketches for a project that is happening at work. You are creating a few masks for an upcoming horror movie, and you are throwing out a few ideas that may interest the producers. The only problem is that you never got around to actually work; instead you were drawing doodles around you and Hansol’s name like a teenager. 

Every attempt you have made to distance yourself from him has become futile, and you decide to just accept the situation for what it was. Maybe one day you will work up the courage to tell him how you feel, but not being around him is agonizing, and you would rather have your best friend back than not have him at all. You can’t help the way he makes you feel, and until something changes, you’re okay with where things are… for now. 

Another crackling sound of thunder makes you yelp, knocking your iPad on the floor and cracking the corner of the screen. 

“Shit,” you mumble, looking at the damage. 

Your nerves are shot, and you decide to make some tea to calm yourself while the storm rages outside. You place your iPad safely on the bed and slip out of your room, heading to the kitchen as the wind picks up and hurls rain against the windows. It amazes you how the day can go from sunny and hopeful to dark and tragic within a few minutes. Mother nature must be on one today, you think to yourself. 

The alarm door beeps and Hansol walks in, completely unscathed by the storm. He slides off his black beanie that covers his short brown hair and lets out a sigh of relief as he locks the door behind him. His eyes met yours, and a small smile spread across your face. 

“You made it just in time,” you say, pouring water into your teapot. “It’s about to get ugly out there.” 

“Yeah.” he nods, his gaze fixed on the darkened windows. 

You could tell something is bothering him, as you watch him take off his shoes and put up his jacket, but you don’t know what to say. Things have been so good between you two, yet the last time he opened up, he shared something you weren’t ready to hear. Despite everything, your concern for him remains strong, and you can’t help but ask, “Are you okay?”

“I think so,” Hansol replies, lost in thought. “Kelsey and I are done for good.” 

“Oh?” you exclaim. “What’s changed?”

Vernon sits on the couch and you follow him, sitting cross-legged and across from him as he shares his feelings. “I went over there to talk to her, and I just realized that she just used me. She didn’t care about me or what I liked. It was always about her and what he wanted… plus she said some ridiculous things about you.”

“Did she now?” You quirk an eyebrow in curiosity. “What did she have to say about me?”

You aren’t surprised that she probably said some rude things about you. It’s not like you were her biggest fan either and you didn’t hide it. Kelsey wouldn’t ever say it to your face though, and that always made you chuckle. 

“She said you were in love with me and that you were happy every time we broke up.” 

The words don’t register right away. You can’t have heard him say what you think he said. “She said what now?”

“She said that you were in love with me,” his words tumbling out like a confession.

Your heart starts racing, the feelings of disbelief and anger stirring in your chest. That wasn’t her secret to share. “I.. can’t believe she said that.” 

“Neither can I,” Hansol sighs, running his fingers through his hair. “It’s not like you have feelings for me, and wouldn’t tell me… right?”

Your breath catches, a deep ache forming in the pit of your stomach. This is something you longed for and dreaded for a long time. You could deny it and keep things the way they are, or finally tell him how you feel and change your dynamic forever. 

“Hansol, I—”

“Are you in love with me?” He interrupts, his gaze intense. “I need to know if this is real.”

“What do you mean? And why does it matter?” You say bitterly. “ You are in love with Kelsey and will just go back to her. You always do.” 

“What if I don’t?” 

Your heart is pounding, and you take a deep breath, trying to make sense of everything. “What do you mean if you don’t?”

“I told you, I am done with her,” Hansol reiterates. “These past few weeks without her opened my eyes to a lot of things, and while I have been thinking about her less, you’ve been on my mind more.”

“What are you saying, Hansol?”

“I don’t want to be with her. I want to be with you.”

The air is thick with uncertainty as his words echo in your head. You should be happy, relieved even that he wants to be with you. But in the midst of that, you are scared. What if it doesn’t work? What if he regrets all of this in the morning and decides to take it all back? You couldn’t handle that. 

“I… Kelsey wasn’t far off,” you admit, biting your lip. “I wasn’t necessarily happy when you were sad about her, but I have always felt like you deserved better.” You pause to gather your thoughts. “I am in love with you, Hansol.  I tried to put my feelings away and move on, date, or whatever. But every time I’m near you, it just hurts.”

Hansol pulls you into a warm hug, and you fully embrace his scent and the comfort you feel. You’ve imagined times like this when he would hold you in his arms and caress your face. You craved it even, wishing you could hear his heartbeat and feel him in ways you haven’t. But this feels too good to be true, and in the back of your mind, you wonder if this is real, or another dream. 

“Are you sure you want to be with me?” you speak up. “You just broke up with her and I don’t want to be some rebound you’ll regret later—”

He kisses you. His soft lips press against yours earnestly, and you melt against him, losing the remaining inhibition you had in you. He leans you back against the couch; his kisses becoming deeper, igniting a fire in you that you thought would stay dormant forever. 

“Does that feel like I’m unsure about what I want?” He breathes heavily. 

“I don’t know,” a smile creeps on your lips, a mix of joy and relief flooding through your veins. “I think I might need another one just to be sure.”

He kisses you again and you return his vigor, your fingers entangled in his hair as you savor the moment. His hands glide down to your waist, touching the hem of your shorts that you hope he’ll tear away. You pause, nodding that it’s okay, watching him slowly slide your shorts down your legs. 

“No panties?” His need is evident, almost salivating at the mouth. 

Your face heats up as you briefly become shy. “It’s laundry day,” you mumble. 

You gaze at each other before erupting into laughter, any remaining tension that was there gone immediately. This is how it always is with him, easy and light. He doesn’t have second or third questions, he just immediately understands. You couldn’t have fallen in love with a better person. 

“I-I love you, Hansol,” you managed to say. “You don’t have to say it back yet, I know we have to figure this out. But just know, I love you.” 

Hansol leans in for another kiss; this time it’s sweeter, tender, with enough meaning to know what it meant,  “Don’t worry, I love you too.” 

And with that, he stands up, taking your hand and leading you to his room. Kicking the door shut, you tear off each other's clothes, excitement and lust pouring through you as you lay on his bed, watching him climb over you. His body presses against yours, your arms wrap around his neck and back, your need for him growing stronger as he leaves kisses on your neck. “I need you so bad.” 

Hansol groans as his hands grab your breasts, mesmerized by your hardened mounds. He sucks on each other carefully, his eyes closed as if he is savoring the taste. He worships your body, his tongue trailing down your stomach until he reaches your core, spreading your legs apart. You’ve played so many scenarios on what your first time with him would be like, and what kind of lover he would be. This is better than you’ve imagined. 

“You’re so wet… for me?” he says in disbelief. “I get you like this?”

You bite your lip, nodding slowly as you anticipate his next move. He slips a digit inside of you, watching you squirm as he fingers you slowly. 

“Oh god,” you praise him as he adds another one. “Just like that, please.” 

Hansol leans down and lashes his tongue against your clit, sending jolts of pleasure throughout your body. The sheets bunch in your fists, your knuckles stretching out as his relentless mouth laps up your essence, savoring every drop. He explores every inch of your softness, removing his fingers and replacing them with his tongue. His hands stroke his cock which is leaking with precum. You are ascending to a high that you never want to come down from. 

“H-Hansol,” your voice is grained with need. “I’m so close.”

He moans in response, his breath hot against your skin, and the sound vibrates through you, intensifying the coil of tension within. Your orgasm crashes over you, a tidal wave of bliss completely taking over you, whimpering his name as your legs tremble around him. White starts clouding your vision and you feel like you are on air, floating away into paradise. You feel him groan against your thigh, and you look down slightly, his cock dripping with his load as it coats his hand. You collapse on his pillow, trying to catch your breath, slowly coming down from cloud nine. You hear him leave and come back a few moments later, wiping you down with a warm rag. 

“Aww, that’s sweet of you,” you tease him, closing your legs slightly. 

“I’m sorry for that being short,” he says, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment. “I usually can last longer than that, you know… I don’t know what happened.”

You prop yourself up, brushing a strand of hair away from his forehead. “It was perfect. Don’t apologize.”

You pull him into a hug, softly kissing his cheek and motioning for him to lay down with you. He climbs over you and hugs you from behind, cradling you so close you can feel his heartbeat. The sunlight peeks through the window, a sign that the storm finally passed. Happiness can’t even describe the word you are feeling right now.

“Fuck. R-right there.”

Hansol wanted to make up for last night’s performance, so he woke you up with kisses to your face, your neck, the curves on your body and most importantly, in between your legs. The way you grabbed his hair went his tongue went deeper, or the way you begged for him to fuck you. He was addicted to all of it. It was like he was making love for the first time.

“Please Hansol, I need you.”

He quickly slipped on a condom and slowly entered you, watching the way your lips parted as he inched in a little more.

“Are you okay? I am not hurting you, am I?”

You shook your head slowly as you held onto his arms, looking into his eyes with a reassuring smile.

“It’s okay,” you bit your lip. “I can take it.”

He almost came right then and there, hearing you talk like that. Feeling safe with him. He never experienced that with Kelsey, the feeling of being wanted, and truly loved.

He moved slowly, wanting to make sure you could handle it, and he was mesmerized by the way you looked when you were being pleasured. You goaded him for more, and he did that, stroking deeper while your nails dug into his back. You were tight, warm and welcoming like you were made for him. He loved the way your breasts bounced when he thrust harder and the blunt curses that left your lips when he lifted your legs. 

If Hansol could, he would fuck you all day and night to make up for the past time wasted. He wanted to show you how much you meant to him, and he wasn't the best with words, so this would do… for now

“I’m gonna cum—”

His mouth covered yours as your legs shuddered underneath him, your orgasm ripping through you like a hurricane. Your body glistened with sweat, your eyes wet from tears from being fucked out and he couldn't hold back anymore, his thrusts becoming erratic as he emptied himself into the condom.

Hansol thought he was in love before, and maybe it was because it was you, but he hadn't felt this alive in a long time. You were precious to him, and all he wanted to do was lay with you and watch movies all day, talk about mundane things…it didn't matter as long as he was with you.

“I… have a confession to make,” you said breathlessly.

“Yeah?”

“I always wondered… what it would be like. With you.”

He watched you bury yourself in his sheets, feeling shy about your confession. Hansol chuckled, slowly pulling out of you and riding himself of the condom. 

“So, did I live up to your expectations?” He asked tentatively.

You gently pull down the covers, smiling at him softly. “This is better than anything I could’ve imagined.”

tagging: @heechwe @junniesoleilkth @iheartnonie @jaeyunsprincxss

[illyrianshadow]

Lost in Shadows (pt. III)

Summary: After centuries apart, you see him again — Azriel, the boy who once kept you safe in the shadows of Windhaven.

But now he’s a stranger and you’re left wondering: does he remember? And is your connection, fated or forgotten, still strong enough to bring you together?

Warnings: none really, just two idiots sickeningly obsessed with each other, read at your own risk

A/N: Get ready for another lil' peak in to Azriel's mind. If you were thinking he couldn't become anymore tortured than he already is, think again. Always excited to hear your thoughts loves. x iz

Word count: 2K

Part 1 | Part 2

———

Azriel’s POV 

The Spymaster of the Night Court is freaking out. He’s having a full blown, existential crisis and he’s very glad his family are too wrapped up in themselves to notice. 

He looks at Rhys and Mor still bickering about god knows what. He’s glad for the distraction, it’s causing them to focus purely on each other instead of the Shadowsinger crumbling in front of them. He’s relieved they are no longer obsessing over his lack of focus. Busybodies. 

The last thing he wants is for his family to start asking him why he’s so lost in thought. How would he even begin to explain? 

He’s kept a huge secret from them for most of the time he’s known them, he’s not sure how they are going to react when they find out. If he was them, he would probably feel betrayed. At least for a little bit. 

What would he even say to them? 

When we were young I had a secret friendship with the daughter of one of the most brutal males Windhaven has ever known? She was everything to me, and days after I found out she was my mate she had to leave and I haven’t seen her in over 500 years? I wasn’t sure if I’d ever see her again? 

Not exactly light conversation. Besides, Rhys and Cassian had absolutely despised Baric when he was still alive. Finding out their brother is mated to his daughter and hid it from them for centuries is probably not something that will go down well. 

It’s rare for a mating bond to present itself so young, but when it happened it hadn’t scared him. You were his safety net, his home. It felt right. 

He’d been building up the courage to tell you, planning on surprising you on your birthday and if the moment felt right, he would’ve told you then. When he arrived at your hiding spot and found your note it broke him. 

He became frantic, all of his instincts telling him to chase after you. He needed to find you, help you, protect you. It was his duty. You were his mate and now you were gone. Before he even got the chance to tell you. 

That’s when he sent one of his shadows after you to track you down, to make sure you were okay. 

When it found you in a harbour in Velaris days later and returned with the message that he needed to let you go, he promised himself that he would do everything it took to be reunited with you again one day. He’d never stop fighting for you, never stop looking. 

He threw himself into his training until it became all consuming. His brothers noticed something was wrong, but they assumed he was just dealing with his traumas. Everyone did. They didn’t know the training kept him steady, focussed. He was training so he could be ready in case he ever needed to fight to get you back. It was an outlet for his feelings, a way for him to feel useful. 

Azriel sighs softly, one of his hands rubbing the spot on his chest just over his heart where the mating bond has been lying dormant for centuries. He’s become so used to it, some days he can almost forget it’s there. Almost. 

It’s stirring now though. Your presence has awoken something primal that’s been suppressed and pushed down for longer than it should have been. 

He’s itching to go over to you, to reach out. It’s taking all of his control not to run to your side and take you into his arms. To fly you away from here to have you solely to himself. 

He’s becoming more restless by the second and even your presence nearby is starting to lose the calming effect on his shadows. 

That’s a first. 

They’re starting to swirl around him, behaving a bit more frantically as they try and break free to make their way over to you. It’s taking all of his willpower to not give in and let them do what they so desperately want. 

Touch. They whisper in his ear. Mate. Hold mate. 

He can feel one of them starting to move, slithering over the floor towards the bar. It’s the same one that once followed you all the way to Velaris. It’s always been drawn to you. He lets it go and prays you won’t notice its presence before he’s ready. 

Once again Azriel’s thoughts are rudely interrupted by his brother. 

Rhys slaps his hand down on the table in force. “On that note, I have to leave.” 

Azriel looks at him, puzzled by his sudden announcement. 

Rhys just rolls his eyes slightly when he realises his brother has not been paying attention to any of their conversations. “Duty calls. Nyx has had a nightmare. I’ll see you tomorrow brother, I’ll stop by the training ring.” He presses a kiss to Mor’s cheek. “Goodnight cousin darling. And behave.” With a last wink at both of them he winnows home. 

Now it’s just him and Mor left. 

Once this would have been all he wanted. 

When he first met Mor he was taken aback by how much she reminded him of you. Her strength and resilience. Her ability to make light of tough situations. Her unwavering confidence. The beauty radiating from her that makes people stop in their tracks. 

Frantic to have any part of you he could, even if it wasn’t real, he became obsessed with being around her. It was the closest thing he had of you. He knew it wasn’t healthy but he just couldn’t help himself. He thinks it was some ancient, territorial part of him that made him do so. Always looking for his mate, never resting. 

Mor looks at him, concern shining through in her eyes. She places her hand on top of his and gives it a small squeeze. 

‘Are you okay Az, you seem distracted?” 

He just nods, not ready to voice any of this just yet. He needs to speak to you first, see you first. 

“Yeah I’m good.” he mumbles. “I think I just need to be alone for a bit.” 

She gives his hand one final squeeze and gets up. “I’ll go and see if Amren and Nesta feel like going to Rita’s with me. Will you be alright?” 

Azriel gives her a small smile in response. He loves how she never pushes him to talk when she can tell he doesn’t want to. He just waves her off. “Go have fun. Don’t spend too much of Rhys’ money.” 

She grins and winks at him when making her exit. “Can’t make any promises there.” 

And then it is just him. He downs the rest of his drink and wills his shadows to stay by his side while gathering the courage to approach you. After a few minutes he gets up. 

He turns around and his eyes immediately fall on your form in the corner of the bar. You look absolutely breathtaking. You had always been beautiful but it seems like you have grown into your beauty even more. 

He tucks in his wings and starts walking over to you, a fake confidence in his steps. He’s hoping it will make him feel more prepared, maybe he can fool himself into believing he’s ready. That he’s not absolutely terrified.  

Just when he’s about to clear his throat and speak your name, you jump up from the stool and lose your footing. 

He reaches out to you immediately, scarred hands touching your waist , sending a jolt of electricity to his very core. 

You look up at him and that’s when he feels it. The bond in his chest roaring to life, finally answered by the one thing it’s been seeking for over 500 years. It can no longer lie dormant, be one-sided or suppressed. 

 His shadows start whispering again. Home. 

———

Reader POV

Mate. The word echoes through your head over and over again.

You’re suddenly hyper aware of the male in front of you. Being this close to him, his overwhelming scent of night-chilled mist and cedar fills your senses.

Cedar, like the forest surrounding Windhaven. The same forest that provided you a safety blanket before Azriel did. The smell of home. 

You feel dizzy from the overwhelming realisation of how right this is. Everything makes so much sense, you feel blind for not seeing it before. You and the male in front of you fit together like a puzzle, both of you tailor made by the cauldron to only fit each other. 

You watch him, his shadows hanging still around his frame and you wonder if he has come to the same realisation. Surely he must be feeling this too? 

You put your hand on top of his scarred one still resting on your waist. Your head is spinning and you are struggling to focus with the alcohol roaring through your bloodstream. 

This is not how you imagined this would go. 

When you were a child you had often fantasised about meeting your mate one day. You’d heard stories, both good and bad, but had always dreamed you would find that unconditional bond with someone. Hell, you had always hoped it would be Az when you got old enough to wish for those things. 

All you feel is the need to be closer to him. You want to wrap yourself around him, hold on and never let go. But since you haven’t seen him in 500 years and are in the middle of a crowded bar, you’re guessing that’s probably not the proper response. You wish someone had written a guidebook on how to do this. 

Navigating the mating bond for dummies, or how to confront your mate after 500 years 101.

You’re starting to think your approach of getting drunk might not have been the best decision. 

You try to bring yourself back to the present by focusing on the situation at hand. You find Azriel’s eyes and give him a careful smile. He looks at you, gaze soft mixed with a hint of concern and something else you can’t quite place. Is that recognition, or are you imagining things? 

You straighten yourself, placing one hand on the bar to keep you from toppling over. 

By the cauldron this is embarrassing. You are really regretting the amount of drinks you’ve had. 

“Thanks Azzie.” The nickname falls from your lips before you can help yourself. Your eyes go wide at your words as you cover your mouth with your hand in shock. 

You blame the current alcohol content in your body for your stupidity. 

You haven’t seen him since you were 18, clueless and in love. And you’ve just called him by his childhood nickname in the middle of a crowded bar. Your cheeks turn a dark crimson. You wish the floor would swallow you whole. 

He looks at you in shock, but you can read the amusement on his face. He probably thinks you are some foolish, drunk female getting too familiar with the Shadowsinger of the Night Court. 

You’be only been back in Velaris a couple of days but you had heard the whisperings. 

Females obsessed with the Night Court’s most “eligible bachelor” now that the High Lord and Cassian were taken. 

Azriel pulls a bar stool closer to him and gestures for you to sit down while he flags down the fae behind the bar. He gets you both a glass of water and settles down next to you. 

You take a few small sips, aware of his gaze still locked onto your face in shock. 

He clears his throat and you brace yourself for what comes next. You feel a soft pull on the bond in your chest, a cautious contact. Your eyes widen. 

His voice sounds thick with emotion when he speaks. “I can’t believe you’re finally here.”

taglist (comment/send me a message if you'd like to be added and I'll add you in x): @yesiamthatwierd @k-homosapien @mortqlprojections @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @a-courtof-azriel @greenmandm

[onmyyan]

hear me out because i can’t stop thinking about it— poly yandere batbros who are your freaking soulmates. they find you completely by accident, noticing the soulmate mark that matches there before you’re even acknowledging them, and their possessiveness and protectiveness takes over almost instantly

Found Ya (Part 1/4)

A/n: Fem reader, yandere themes, soulmate au

Everyone was born with a soulmate, it was normal in your society, what wasn't normal was having four.

When you were born your mother and father immediately noticed the four distinct marks across your skin, they chose to keep this revolutionary fact to themselves, not wanting a hard life for their child, so they teach you to hide them as you grow.

The idea of soulmates always freaked you out, sure the idea of a perfect match seemed like a dream, but four different soulmates? The kinda thing was unheard of, even in a crazy town like Gotham.

You were terrified of finding them, afraid of their inevitable judgment, what if they didn't want to share you? How could you be expected to choose? The whole concept made your head hurt so you instead choose to focus on the things in life you can control, academics, and social life, you thrived as you hid your marks, one across your abdomen, a simple tightrope in traditional style, one across your inner wrist, an owl sitting before the moon, an anatomical heart wrapped in barbed wire sat inked right above your own heart, and the most visible, the one that gave you the most trouble, was the green and red robin along the collum of your throat, whenever you're not in the safety and comfort of your own home, you hide it with a bandage, it gets you a lot of stares.

Gotham University was a tall imposing campus that screamed elite, you'd recently received a scholarship to the prestigious academy, which is how you found yourself in AP calculus anxiously waiting for your professor's arrival. You hated this, the one class you couldn't take online, it made your skin itch to be so exposed, sitting in the lecture hall occasionally feeling eyes leering as you nervously picked at the skin of your thumb, the sooner this fuck ass professor got here the sooner you could return to the comfort of your small one bedroom apartment.

Your hair sat underneath a plain black beanie, hiding most of the (h/c) color locks, and your body was hidden in a too-big hoodie passed down from your favorite older cousin, all in all, you looked as inconspicuous as possible. You hear the door to the lecture hall open as a group of about five or six people including the professor walk in, and that's when you feel it.

All at once your wrist begins to get warm, and you can feel the outline of the owl tattoo rub against your hoodie sleeve causing you to grimace as if you'd just gotten it done and the skin was inflamed, shit. all you can think is the word 'shit' because instantly you knew what this was. One of your soulmates had just walked in the room, and your skin would continue to burn as long as you were in the same vicinity, it wouldn't stop until you touched their skin, or left the area they were in, I'll give you a guess which option you were going with.

Sweat begins to bead against your brow as the feeling only grows, you refuse to look at your wrist despite the now burning sensation, you couldn't give any signal that you were being affected, and it seemed your soulmate had the same plan because the group that entered moments ago dispersed normally and no one seemed out of place. Swallowing around nothing, you take a few shakey inhales and sneakily scan the room, there are about 25 people in the room with you, all of them engrossed with the professor's muffled words, you could barely hear him over the sound of your blood rushing in your ears.

"You mind if I sit here?"

The soft voice whispers to not disturb the lesson, without glancing up you nod your head yes, "Go ahead." The burning of your wrist seemed to reach a crescendo as the stranger leaned across his desk sticking his hand out, "Tim Drake." you could hear the smile in his tone but couldn't look away, because peaking out as if proudly on display, was the exact same owl tattoo you had on your right wrist.

Well... looks like you found one.

[harmoonix]

🌻Spring's Dawn🌻

Astrology Observations (Natal and Sidereal chart)

🌻 Sun in the 1st/7th/10th/12th house natives can be really exposed to the world, is like they can never hide themselves from the world

🌻 Sun aspecting Venus natives can be really talented into arts/music, they can be the most positive people in the room, easily liked by people

🌻 Sun in the 5th/9th/11th houses like to share their talents with others, they can inspire people with their creativity

🌻 Mars aspecting the ascendant, the native can be easily liked for their confidence or leadership behavior/personality! People feel so safe around them

🌻 Mars aspecting the Moon natives have an attachment dynamic nature, they can passionately get attach to things and hard let them go

🌻 Mars in the 9H/11H or in Sagittarius/Aquarius can manifest things easily

🌻 Saturn in the 11H sometimes make you to desire something and to achieve it in time, like not on the moment, but for sure is coming even if is a bit slower

🌻 Midheaven aspecting Sun/Neptune/Venus can make someone very creative/talented/blessed with artistic talents

🌻 Sun having less to no aspects in a chart can indicate a native who can easily change their personality/mood

🌻 7H empty sitting in a chart has no negative impact on the native, they rather have it more easy in relationships since no planet influence that house

🌻 Jupiter aspecting Sun can be so lucky because of their personality and charm, the native can aslo have an selfish aura if is too spoiled

🌻 Lilith (h12) aspecting the Sun can make the native to isolate themselves to protect their energy, but is more about their self - expression and wildness who needs to be explored

🌻 Venus square/opposite/conjunct Ascendant gives native a flair of romance/stylish personality/maybe too flirty sometimes

🌻 Venus in in fire signs will love to be chased in a love relationship!! Like they will wait for you to make the first step into the relationship and then to fall for you

🌻 Taurus Suns/Risings/Moons/Venus natives can truly be the kindest people ever, they love to share good vibes with everyone without having a conflict, they're so grounded which makes sense because of their earth element and I love this!

🌻 Ascendant aspecting Neptune can easily create an dependency/obsession over things/people and sometimes situations in their lives

🌻 Venus/Mercury in the 11H natives are really likable/loved by people, people can be so easy in sympathy with them

🌻 Sun in the 11H or in Aquarius can prioritize their friendships over anything, because their friendships can be everything for such natives

🌻 Pluto aspecting Lilith Asteroid (1181) can have an energy of a "bad person" but they're truly not!

🌻 Asteroid Lilith (1181) aspecting Asteroid Aphrodite (1388). The native can have the energy of a badass person yet very charming and romantic

🌻 Aphrodite (1388) aspecting Juno (3) can be easily by liked at first by people, because of their personality, their relationship can be known by people as well

🌻 Uranus aspecting Juno natives can be so unexpectedly in love/in relationships, they can marry someone they never thought to marry with

🌻 Aries Suns/Moon/Risings and Lilith/Venus/Mars can feel like a forbidden fruit, like they can be so untouchable and yet so magnetic

🌻 Aries Saturn natives need to have better standards and to know their self worth, especially learning to have confidence

🌻 Saturn in Libra can sometimes give you karmic relationships. The same for Saturn in the 7H, take care at people who don't want to stay for long in your life

🌻 Neptune/Pisces in the 2H/4H/6H/8H can easily be drained by other people's energy, they're so sensbile to such things

🌻 Venus/Pluto or Aphrodite (1388) in the 8H can make you to ignore the toxic traits of a potential partner and see them as an attractive thing instead (Don't do it)

🌻 Venus in the 6th/10H/11th house axis can make you to engage in relationships with people from the same work field as you

🌻 Venus in the 1st house natives, people can appreciate their beauty but not always their talents. Like this placement can represent "I am more than beauty", they're aslo extremely artistic

🌻 Moon in the 8th/12th house axis are always in the middle of some sort of drama/fight purely for the thing that people can see them as "too" soft, which is not true

🌻 Saturn in the 5H or Saturn in Leo may not want to have kids early in life (some of them don't wanna have kids at all in other cases)

🌻 Sagittarius in the 2H/4H/8H can have a large number of relatives in family. You know like that person who has 6-7 cousins??

🌻 Having Capricorn Sun/Rising/Venus can make people to appreciate your body silhouette. Especially the legs

🌻 It can be so hard for people with Capricorn or Pisces Moon to be understood by others, which in the end can make them sad, you have to find better people in your circle if such things happen

🌻 Sagittarius Mercury and in general Mercury in fire signs natives talk so fast that people need to ask "Can you repeat? I can't understand what you're saying" more times a day 🤣😭

🌻 Sagittarius Saturn/9H can make you have people who want to restrict your freedom and free will, and one thing with this placement is that you always have to keep your mind open to everything

🌻 Jupiter aspecting Venus natives share a love about discovering things, they love to research and dive into interesting topics

🌻 Jupiter aspecting the Midheaven can be like a shooting star for you especially if is in good aspects because it helps you to find your path in job/career

🌻Sun/Moon and sometimes Saturn in the 6H can possess allergies, they can be different types of allergy of course

🌻 I think is very likely for Virgo/Pisces/Scorpio and sometimes Libra or Aquarius placements to study medicine because they get so well within this field

🌻 Saturn at 29° or 0° degrees can be very powerful for this planet, Saturn ends a cycle at 29° and starts a new one at 0° especially a karmic cycle!!

🌻 The time you'll have your Saturn Return. Which happens when Saturn returns back into the same sign it was when you were born. Lots of things can happen during that period. Things that will change your mentally/emotionally/physically/rationally forever

🌻 The fact that for Aquarius Risings, the next years can be very changing since Pluto is entering permanently in Aquarius this year... is so scary yet fascinating in the same time 🥲🥲

🌻 Saturn in Pisces/12H or Pisces Degrees 12°, 24° can receive lots of dreams, have lots of spiritual or subconscious awakenings as well and even new karmic paths

🌻 Hey y'all, 2nd of March of today brings the start of the spring already. Winter finally is ended and we will all slay this whole season 💅🏼💅🏼💅🏼

I wish y'all a very good spring season 🌻🌻🌻🧚🏼‍♀️

Harmoonix ✨🌻

[pearlcatcher-problems]

spire ᛜ false amphithere ᛜ beast wyrm ᛜ king of the roost

finally had the time to tackle this lad's reference; next up is a custom skin for him to match his headcanon! Lore rambles and general discussion of him / his spot in the lair beneath the cut to keep length down q wq

Spire is a false amphithere, technically a beast wyrm, that has settled and taken over one of the lair outposts. Most of his body is furred with thick boar bristle, but his chestplate is heavier armoured scale. Like most outpost heads, he bears the emblem of the joined clans on his wings and garb, although the over-ornamentation is mostly his magpie-like mate's preference.

The 'koi' on his wings is only ever visible under direct sunlight, where the fish-like scaling on his wings is most iridescent. Otherwise, it's just yet another glossy protective layer over his already armoured hide.

Beast wyrms are usually territorial and brutish, usually lone-wanderers due to conflict with others of their species. They rarely breed, which means their numbers are low, and quite a few of them will integrate themselves in mixed-species lairs that better suits the beast side of their bloodlines. Boars, bears, ox, and bison tend to be the most plentiful beast lines, with other species spotted scarcely. There's very little understanding on how they can continue their bloodlines or how new species are still popping up, and there are theories that they're instead created through corrupted interference. It very well could be both.

Spire's nature is a benefit to him where he is now, having quickly charmed most of the chattering amphitheres over within days of his first landing within their borders and ended up being the prize gem of their matriarch within a season. The amphitheres are chaotic and fickle creatures, and as such, they had strained relations with neighbouring clans until Spire was able to better translate between the groups. While the neighbouring dragon clans simply wanted access to the amphithere grounds for study and ( hopefully ) trade, the amphithere's distrusting nature made it near impossible to conduct anything of the sort safely. With the amphitheres now well-fed due to an influx of ley magics and their society a little more organised, they've been able to progress their roost to the point of joining a proper network. Most who venture into the roost know that they only have one chance, if they overstep they will be tossed either by an amphithere denizen, or Spire himself.

He's unable to fly for long distances, both due to his shorter wingspan compared to most flying-beasts, and the added weight of the boar bristling. He is able to glide, climb, crawl, and charge at quite a good speed though, which means most of his fighting is done on-ground after intentionally disabling his opponents' wings somehow or hindering their ability to fly at all. Like most dragon-folk, he has the ability to breathe 'fire' but it requires quite a lot of fuel to do so and is used sparingly. It takes his body at least twenty seconds to get a devastating flame charged and it's visibly obvious when he's preparing for it as the scaling on his chestplate will flare up, which means it's not something used without thought or desperation. He is powerful, but there are always limits and calls to that power. It's why he agreed to engage in the political alliances for the good of the roost, at least then if they do encounter a threat where he's limited in his abilities, the allied clans have promised to step in.

He has five functioning digits on his forelimbs, but they're limited in dexterity and mostly used as anchoring grapples or simple motion. Given the shape of his wings, it's difficult for him to turn his wrists without moving his entire wing, which means a lot of fine-tune work is often left to a different dragon. His hindlimbs only have two functioning digits, with a pair of curved claws and a pair of dewclaws for gripping behind them.

Although he can technically eat anything, his favourite foods are tubers and fresh melons, but he also enjoys just gnawing on bones. The amphitheres are unable to eat anything outside of raw ley energy and flesh, so any growing produce within their territory tends to be just for him, a few of the locals specifically hiding away small melon farms in corners of the cliffs away from where younglings may try to play with them.

Most of the allied clans call all citizens of the roost 'amphitheres,' which has lead to some confusion as not all dragons in the roost are technically amphitheres. Despite the differences in species though, socially and culturally, all species are amphitheres and equal as long as the same goals are kept. It's an odd place, but it somehow works.

l m a o none of this is organised but mmmm I just love this lad qwq

[bie-tch]

To be completely honest, I don't really think Kai will become a centipede monster. I knowww it's sad but my reason as to why is pretty agreeable I think.

Usually, whenever a character is transformed into a monster or just a non-human in general, it's always been about accepting and overcoming parts of yourself youd rather hide. When Zane was revealed to be a nindroid, he learned that the others would accept him as their brother no matter what, and soon enough, it became a strength for him. Literally, he gained his true potential shortly after. He no longer sees him being a nindroid separate to his identity. He went from Zane, a ninja, to Zane, the titanium ninja. He's still him, always will be, just shiny :)

When Jay was turned into a Venomari, it became a reflection of his insecurities, the parts of himself he tries to mask with flashy bravado and exaggerated stories, especially around Nya, who he had a massive crush on. It ended similarly to Zane, where Nya said he would accept him no matter what. Flaws and all. Knowing this, He was able to gain his true potential too. Realizing that being himself was far better than covering it up with glitter and foundation.

Then when Cole became a ghost, it was a tragedy. He no longer felt like himself, no longer saw himself as a person. Instead a living husk of his former glory. But, with the encouragement and unyielding support of his teammates, his family, he learned to accept this new body of his, as inhuman as it was. It symbolized trauma, and the strength it takes to see the good in every bad situation. It carries later into the show, where even though he's back to being a human, the scars are still there. They will never truly go away, but he learned to accept himself as himself, weird ghost scars and all.

Lloyd is the definition of grappling with identity. From being the son of Lord Garmadon, to becoming the legendary Green Ninja, then the ultimate Spinjitzu Master, then returning to simply being the Green Ninja, knowing hes half Oni half dragon, and ultimately just Lloyd? He carries many versions of himself, each with parts he struggles to accept. He’s the textbook case of change: from idolizing his father to fearing he’ll become him. It’s this internal conflict that makes it so hard for him to see himself as anything other than a ninja. While we see him begin to accept his identity later in the series, DR shows us that he still has some ways to go before he truly feels at home in his own skin.

Nya's transformation was also just.. unwanted, in my opinion. It was about doing everything you can to protect the ones you love, even if it hurts you. She's very similar to Kai in this regard, and it's very realistic that they share similar ideals when it comes to how they view their role in the team. Nya thought that merging with the sea was the only option, and faced with Jay unconscious after drowning, she had no choice. It was unwanted change, similar to Cole. This time, however, instead of Nya bringing herself back, it was the others who brought her back. It's a beautiful way to show that family will go through hell and beyond if it means protecting the ones you love.

What does this all mean, however? Why do these transformations matter?

Well, here's an answer. Despite everything, despite the hardships, they all came out of it better. They came out of it having learned something positive about themselves, even though it scarred them tremendously. Think of it like a caterpillar. In order to transform into butterfly, they have to break down and rebuild. In the end, the transformations ended up becoming a reminder to stay strong and steadfast. And it's nice that everyone had a moment like that.

Weeelllll.... not everyone.

Kai is the only one who hasn’t undergone a non-human arc, and that’s surprising, considering he’s probably one of the first characters you'd expect to experience one. With his personality and tendency to hide things from others in fear of being shamed or shunned, an arc like that would benefit him. Right?

This is where monstrosity comes in I fear. And not in a good way.

I think this series will be contradicting what those arcs symbolized. I think it will become the opposite to what the other ninja experienced. I dont think Kai will turn into a centipede creature or just any monster in general. No, not really. And that might be confusing, because In order to survive the land of the monsters, you need to become one yourself, right?

But i still think Kai will be the only one not to undergo a non-human transformation. Not because it wont happen, but because he doesn't need to. In fact, I think it matches the others perfectly. Everyone in the team became a monster physically, but they stayed the same. Same likes, same hates, just with different colored skin or lack thereof. They didn't change, their views didn't change, their morals didn't change.

But Kais did.

And Kai is.

He is a monster.

Maybe not physically, maybe not literally,

But mentally. But his actions were.

And that's enough, isn't it?