i am. UNHINGED about the hunger games au!!! i love how ruthless anakin is and how he will do anything to get back to and keep obiwan, while obiwan just. guiltily suffers but he won’t actually oppose to any of anakin’s atrocities because he really wants to be with anakin too. AHHHH it’s SO GOOD!!!!
i love all the comments on the hunger games au about how unhinged anakin is and how quietly unhinged obi-wan is because!!! they are both like. insane about each other!!!!!
anakin is just like in general psychotic, right, he latched onto obi-wan when he saw him and never intended to let go. he would have done anything for the same devotion in return and he got it---because obi-wan, it turns out, is just as desperate to be loved and to love as anakin is to love obi-wan.....and so obi-wan, after a few years of that intense devotion and that ray of sunshine in his bleak life, was never going to be able to let anakin go no matter the atrocities....and then maybe because in his mind the atrocities match a little bit which makes performing his own atrocities later that much easier
at the very least, a part of him knows he will not lose anakin's love in the aftermath
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names are so interesting. i mostly go by my IRL legal name, which i like a lot though have that twinge of strangeness anyone gets when they see their own name somewhere like oh shit that’s me. but i do love it a lot. and then my ex/best friend/you know calls me by my last name near exclusively as like a nickname, so while my last name is a bit mid tbh it’s sentimental for me now too. plus it’s pretty unique there aren’t many people with that surname LOL.
and then Mare feels like... as important as my legal name. like some of my IRLs do call me Mare, and people here default Mare, because that’s my Fucking Name, you know? and then there’s Ides, which is kind of weird because I don’t get much out of being called Ides but the thought of not considering it one of my names feels uncomfortable.
and then Saturn is still very new to me, but feels like a healing thing to go by. like it feels like an act of self love or reclamation. and Absinthe, now, feels like the best way to describe whoever I have become over the last two weeks.
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so i left the mormon church as a teenager (15ish? 16?), but stayed in attendance until i was 20. i was pretty up front about the whole deciding-it-wasnt-true process with my bishop, who frankly took it really well, but it wasnt like i pulled all 150 ward members aside and had a heart to heart with them. anyway, i didnt believe, so at 19 i didnt go on a mission, and while some people in the ward were totally fine with that, others werent. and there was one woman in her late 50s who pulled me aside one day to interrogate me why i hadnt gone on a mission.
"the duty of every young man" she said.
and the thing is, im autistic. and a lot of people assume that when youre autistic, your social skills just arent very good. but thats not exactly true. your Be Polite skills are kind of eh, and they tend to stay that way, but as a sort of survival mechanism your Be Rude skills become amazing simply because you get put in tons of situations where your choices are to Function or Be Polite. and no one can choose Be Polite forever. the world demands function, it merely encourages politeness.
anyway, it can really catch neurotypicals by surprise, because hey, heres this kind of awkward, graceless guy, who stumbles over his words a lot and is very apologetic. hes probably a huge pushover. but i'm only like that when we're playing The Polite Game, because i am frankly kind of bad at it. but when its time to play The Rude Game, i go fucking ham and asking about the not-going-on-a-mission thing is Super Rude. so i said:
"sister hadlock... they wont let me go because i lit-er-ally cannot stop sucking dicks. i dont know why, its just so, so hard."
*dramatic pause*
"also - its very difficult to stop."
anyway, it almost killed her. i think she'd expected to just kind of steamroll me for the entire conversation, but the answer crushed her soul. instead of continuing her interrogation she made a noise like a horse drowning in a bog and left.
to add insult to injury, she went to the bishop after that, thinking he'd chew me out for being an ass, but instead he chewed her out for not minding her own business. then she went to my parents after that, who basically went "yeah, babylon was pretty rude. but youre also pretty rude. what are you, mad that he's better at it than you?"
i really loved that ward.
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I'm re-reading the Discworld series for reasons, and honestly the most relatable part of reading these as an adult is how many of the protagonists start out being tired, used to their little routine and vaguely disgruntled by the interruption of the Plot. Sam Vimes wants to lie drunk in a gutter and absolutely doesn't want to be arresting dragons. Rincewind is yanked into every situation he's ever encountered, though he'd much rather be lying in a gutter too. (Minus the alcohol. Plus regretting everything he's ever done said witnessed or even heard about fourth-hand in his whole life.) Granny Weatherwax is deeply suspicious of foreign parts and that includes the next town over; Nanny has leaned into the armor of "nothing ever happens to jolly grannies who terrorize their daughters-in-law and make Saucy Jokes"
Only the young people don't seem to have picked up on this---and that's fortunate, because someone has to run around making things happen, if only so Vimes and Granny and Rincewind have a reason to get up (complaining bitterly the whole time) and put it all to rights. Without Carrot, Margrat, Eric, etc. these characters don't have that reason; they're likely to stay in the metaphorical gutter and keep wondering where it all went wrong or why anything has to change.
............well, that's not quite true. You get the sense that Vetinari knows how much certain people hate the Plot. And as the person sitting behind the metaphorical lighting board of Ankh-Morpork, he takes no small pleasure in forcing the Plot-haters specifically to stand up, and say some lines.
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Come watch dungeon meshi we have a (seemingly) typical white autistic man who doesn't understand social norms, an autistic man of colour who overcompensates for social deficits by being too good at social norms (while still struggling socially), and we even have the "grew up autistic but also Asian so I have a very good understanding of cultural and social norms but I still struggle socially" variety of autistic man.
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