#John Mulaney RP starters

[rumor-weed]

JOHN MULANEY STARTER PROMPTS

Kid Gorgeous Edition.

“He was a man most acquainted with misery.”

“None of that matters, but it's important to me that you know that.”

“He did not look like his job description.”

“He looked like he should be the conductor on a locomotive powered by confetti.”

“But, instead, he made his living in murder.”

“He was the weirdest goddamn person I ever saw in my entire life.”

“He could look at a child and guess the price of their coffin.”

“Shut up! You're all gonna die. Street Smarts!"”

“You remember the scourge of muggings when you were in second and third grade.”

"Man, I need cash for drugs right now.”

“Okay, you can get these at any haberdashery.”

“Buy a money clip. Engraved, question mark?”

“Hey, Dad. Can I have a silver money clip with a $50 bill in it, please?” (Or sub “dad” for character name, if you’re a coward)

“The man with the mustache told me to do it.”

“Let's say a kidnapper throws you in the back of a trunk.”

“You kids have no upper body strength.”

“Yeah, he was not a "spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down" kind of guy.”

“Brush your teeth. Now, boom, orange juice. That's life.”

“Fight the guy off using weird, psych-out, back-room Chicago violence.”

“I chewed up a tab of Alka-Seltzer I carry with me at all times. This created a foaming-at-the-mouth appearance that made it look like I had rabies.”

“Now I've thrown him off his rhythm.”

“Okay. Your odds of coming back alive from the primary location, about 60%. But if you are taken to a secondary location, your odds of coming back alive are slim to none.”

“I am 35 years old and I am still terrified of secondary locations.”

“Nah, sister. You're not getting me to no secondary location.”

“I thought I was going to be murdered my entire childhood.”

“Top three colleges? I thought I would be dead in a trunk with my hand hanging out of the taillight by now.”

“I just got a letter from my college, which was fun 'cause mail, you know?”

“So then I had to speed to Goodwill really fast.”

“It was charitable, but it was also fast and violent.”

“I was throwing boxes at people. The boxes were so heavy I couldn't even say what was in them.”

“This one's shirts. I got a bunch of shirts! Take 'em away!"

“How do I write that on my taxes?”

“My mom said it could be a sleep shirt. Please deduct this from my 2017 income.”

“So rather than violate these meaningless politeness rules, I'll just go to bed in a smock like goddamn Ebenezer Scrooge.”

“I'll tremble off to bed in my long Victorian nightgown.”

“Was there ever even a ghost, Mother, or was the dead Victorian girl you saw just me all along?”

“And that's why you shouldn't give to charity.”

“I found out recently that jokes don't do well in court.”

"Hey, that lawsuit with my neighbor is still dragging on.”

“Hey, do you want me to kill that guy for you? Because it sounds like he sucks and I will totally kill that guy for you.”

“Okay. See you at improv practice.”

“Strange, the passage of time.”

“I'm not that old. I'm 35, that is not old.”

“I never knew about this, but I am now gross.”

[rp-meme-central]

John Mulaney - sentence starters

1. “I am very small, and I have no money, so you can imagine the kind of stress I am under.” 

2. “You have the moral backbone of a chocolate éclair.” 

3. “I’ll keep all my emotions right here, and then one day I’ll die.” 

4. “Sometimes babies will point at me, and I don’t care for that shit at all.”

5. “This might as well happen. Adult life is already so goddamn weird.” 

6. “______-year-olds are the meanest people in the world. They terrify me to this day.” 

7. “And I said ‘no’. You know, like a liar.” 

8. “Hey, do you want me to kill that guy for you? Because he sounds like he sucks, and I will totally kill that guy for you.” 

9. “Because it’s the one thing you can’t replace.” 

10.  “I try to stay a little optimistic, even though I will admit, things are getting pretty sticky.” 

11. “I’m very gay. I’d like a few dollars.” 

12. “In terms of like, instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin. It is an amazing feeling.” 

[rpmemes-galore]

John Mulaney Quotes   {Sentence Starters}

“That’s illegal.”

“And that’s my WIFE!”

“This is the height of luxury!”

“Your opinion doesn’t matter.”

“Shut up! You’re all gonna die!“

“Why?...Why do you do this…?“

“I’m new in town and it gets worse.“

“I lived like a goddamn ninja turtle.”

“Oh, we’re gonna freak out so bad.”

“I don’t look older, I just look worse.“

“You know how I’m filled with rage?”

“I need everyone to like me so much!”

“Eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs.“

“I will pepper in the fact that I am gay.”

“And I said ‘no’... You know, like a liar.”

“Adult life is already so goddamn weird.“

“First off, get out of here with your facts.”

“I think I can get them to budge, let’s go.”

“No! That’s the thing I’m sensitive about!”

“I just wanna sit here and feed my birds.“

“We were little goblins. We were terrible.”

“Now, we don't have time to unpack all that.“

“Because it's the one thing you can't replace.“

“I was just shiny, and dumb, and easy to trick.”

“I also don’t want me to be doing what I’m doing.“

“You have the moral backbone of a chocolate éclair.“

“Brush your teeth, now BOOM, orange juice! That’s life.”

“Why do people shush animals? They’ve never spoken.”

“ I’m so horny and angry all the time, and I have no outlet.“

“That’s what I thought you’d say, you dumb fucking horse.”

“She’s a dynamite bitch and she’s the best. She’s my hero.“

“In terms of like, instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin.”

“Whoa! That tall child looks terrible! Get some rest, tall child!”

“We started chanting, ‘McDonald's, McDonald's, McDonald's!‘“

“I’ll keep all my emotions right here. And then, one day, I’ll die.“

“Then he ordered one black coffee for himself and kept driving.“

“Anyone who's seen my dick and met my parents needs to die.”

“Just ‘cause you’re accurate does not mean you’re interesting...”

“I look back on being 17 and think, 'Oh my God, how did I not die?'”

“You are never too young to learn our national ‘no snitching’ policy.“

“You know those days when you’re like ‘this might as well happen’?”

“Something happened here. You hope it’s a miracle, but probably not.“

“Sometimes babies will point at me, and I don’t care for that shit at all.“

“And apparently I grabbed it, drank all of it, and said, ‘It’s perfume.’ And it was.“

“I try to stay optimistic... even though, I will admit, things are getting pretty sticky.”

“I never knew relationships were supposed to make you feel better about yourself.“

“It is 100% easier not to do things than to do them, and so much fun not to do them.”

“And everyone else joined in. A hundred drunk, white children yelling ‘fuck da police’!”

“I have a lot of stories about being a kid because it was the last time I was interesting.“

“My vibe is like, ‘hey you could probably pour soup in my lap and I’ll apologize to you’.”

“I am very small and I have no money... so, you can imagine the kind of stress that I am under.”

“The more you do stuff, the better you get at dealing with how you still fail at it a lot of the time.”

“They terrify me to this day because 8th graders will make fun of you but in an accurate way.“

“I quit drinking because I used to drink too much... then I would black out and I would ruin parties.”

“If you’re comparing the badness of two words and you won’t even say one of them, that’s the worse word.”

“College was like a four-year game show called ‘Do My Friends Hate Me or Do I Just Need To Go To Sleep?’“

“Hey, do you want me to kill that guy for you? Because it sounds like he sucks, and I will totally kill that guy for you.”

“I was always the squarest person in the cool room, and alternatively, sometimes the weirder person at the mainstream table.“

[euphoriabled-memes]

𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐍𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐋𝐢𝐯𝐞

𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝.

“All I packed was travel shampoo and 1,500 thongs.”

“My favorite TV show is motherfuckin’ Grace & Frankie.”

“Just shirt, no pants: like Winnie the Pooh.”

“Can I see you stand like a mayor?”

“Your dad broke up with me on What’s App.”

“When was the last time someone smiled because you walked into a room?”

“That’s because I’m very poor, darling.”

“I never said it was pizza!”

“Put a black light to it.”

“Aw, man! I’m all out of cash!”

“I even look like Dobby the Elf if he became a TikTok rapper.”

“I’m terrified of vacuums.”

“And I’m like: my body’s so jacked, I can’t digest an egg?”

“It’s like we’re in a porn, but the plumber is just genuinely there to fix the pipes.”

“Avatar, a giant international blockbuster, used the Papyrus font as its logo.”

“This place has everything! Asbestos, lupus, the magazines at Super Cuts...”

“You like that story?”

“I got this and I got you, babe.”

“Kylo Ren is a punk bitch!”

“It’s almost . . . not night . . . anymore.”

“Heck yeah, I love pretzels!”

[trashmemes]

KID GORGEOUS SENTENCE STARTERS   —   quotes pulled from john mulaney’s 2018 stand-up comedy special. feel free to make alterations.

i try to stay a little optimistic, even though i will admit, things are getting pretty sticky.

your story doesn't have a lot of details.

whoa! what the fuck is this?

forget about that poor son of a bitch.

i thought i was going to be murdered my entire childhood.

your odds of coming back alive are slim to none.

famous people are weird as shit.

say more right now!

now we don’t have time to unpack all that.

i was afraid that the best buy guy was going to be mad at me.

they tricked me. they tricked me like brendan dassey in making a murderer.

at least you have baby aspirin.

none of us really know our fathers. anyway...

that’ll throw him off his rhythm.

you ever seen a ghost? 

i dare you to do it. i want you to do it.

none of that matters, but it's important to me that you know that.

this is so much nicer than what i'm about to do.

shit, i gotta wear all those layers.

street smarts!

you’re not getting me to no secondary location.

i lived on cigarettes and alcohol and adderall.

hey, do you want me to kill that guy for you?

get the fuck out of here with your technicalities.

we gotta think of some weird, slow activities to fill the day.

prove to me you’re not a robot.

i have hair on my shoulders now.

are you going to talk the entire time?

just 'cause you're accurate does not mean you're interesting.

years later, i'd be in college about to go down on some rocking twink.

you are an idiot who fell in love with her.

i need everybody, all day long, to like me so much. 

get out of here with that shit!

people say that on the internet, but never to your face.

he was the weirdest goddamn person i ever saw in my life.

what is college? stop going until we figure it out.

i lived like a goddamn ninja turtle.

[cinememe]

john mulaney and the sack lunch bunch ----- sentence starters (part 1) 

so, i have a lot of big fears. like a big asteroid hitting the earth, or other stuff like that, you know?

and i hated it, okay? i hated it so much

recently, i watched children's tv and i didn't like it at all.

if this doesn't turn out great, i think we should all be like, oh, it was ironic.

i asked mom, "what's the fuss?

hey! what are you reading?

have you ever spied on your parents?

he couldn't deny they were right to throw shade

um, the reason i like this movie... is because it's my favorite movie of all time.

that is the past. i am a new woman.

wow. strong words.

i went to the bathroom nine times.

do you find the world is a scary place or a not scary place? scary place.

you think-- like, everyday life is scary?

i don't want anyone in my home.

are you afraid of a lone pigeon?

i don't know what that means.

disgraceful.

who cares if i'm bad at algebra? i'm never gonna need it in real life.

what you know about real life could fit into a thimble on the thumb of tiny jiminy cricket.

whoa, whoa

he died doing what he loved.

those are recorded out of context.

then why do you have a photo for him like he was dead?

oh, i have "in memoriam" photos for everyone

um, i'm scared of clowns.

so, that halloween came, and i saw a clown on the street

so, i get to eat lunch with you.

lunch is the best part of the day

it's just, i only like one food.

and i think it's gonna make my life so hard.

am i paying for this?

my biggest fear is escalators. i don't like the way they move up and down so quickly, and that you're supposed to know when to jump on.

another one of my biggest fears is sitting on a toilet and having the water automatically flush, i don't like that.

nightmare.

[time-qxeen]

“I’ll keep all of my emotions right here,” the Doctor paused to put a hand over her hearts, “and then one day, I’ll die.”

[boopdoopsmemes]

John Mulaney starters

Part 3:  Kid Gorgeous at Radio City - 45 to choose from.

Content Warning: Foul Language 

“It’s time. Any questions?” 

“This is so much nicer than what I’m about to do.”

“I wonder who that used to be.”

“You ever seen a ghost?” 

“Let’s change the subject.” 

“My dad is so weird.” 

“Forget about that poor son of a bitch.” 

“I was sitting over on the bench.” 

“Wait a second!”

“You don’t always get to see the things you paid to see.” 

“Assembly was the only part of school I ever liked.” 

“Get in here, sit down!” 

“I wanna talk about what happened yesterday.” 

“Oh you mean like having friends?” 

“They may just have to kill you over it.”

“Shut up, you’re all going to die!” 

“Street smarts!” 

“The man with the mustache told me to do it.”

“I think they’re turning left.” 

“Brush your teeth. Now boom! Orange juice. That’s life.” 

“If I’m at a place, I never wanna go to another place.” 

“I went to college, for the whole time.”

“Holy shit, right?” 

“I didn’t drink water the entire time.”

“Do my friends hate me, or do I just need to go to sleep?” 

“That sleep shirt bullshit.”

“I found out recently that jokes don’t do well in court.” 

“Hey, do you want me to kill that guy for you?” 

“I am now gross.” 

[groans]

“I don’t know what my body is for, other than just taking my head from room to room.” 

“If we must go on with salt alone, we will go on with salt alone!” 

“Hi, knock knock, sorry.” 

“No!” 

“As soon as we get things quickly we start to get ruder and ruder.” 

“Oh shit, I gotta wear all those layers.”

“Fucking what?” 

“Last November, the strangest thing happened.” 

“It’s like there’s a horse loose in a hospital.” 

“Just because you’re accurate doesn’t mean your interesting.” 

“Wait, what did you just say?” 

“What do you think those guys are celebrating?”

“Who would believe in a man up in the sky?” 

“What did they tell you?” 

“God can’t hear you.” 

[cherryrphub]

john mulaney’s ‘new in town’ | sentence starters pt. 2

“It is 100% easier not to do things than to do them.”

“Cancelling plans is like heroin.”

“Aw, we didn’t do anything all day!”

“I did nothing, I did nothing at all.”

“Don’t you have to do a shift at school tomorrow?”

“I’ll just show a video.”

“Yeah, I don’t wanna work.”

“I’m really happy to live here.”

“Oh, a guitar player.”

“This is the loudest thing in the world.”

“Reading the New York Post is like talking to someone who heard the news and now they’re trying to give you the jist.”

“What happened today?!”

“It doesn’t have to be right, it just has to be short.”

“An angel is a child who has died.”

“A hero is any man who does his job.”

“Tots are angels who haven’t died yet.”

“A bozo is any man who cheats on his wife.”

“Beat it bozo!”

“No she did not.”

“No one has said bozo in 1000 years.”

“Give us the scoop!”

“I’m feeling good tonight, though.”

“I’m gonna leave the room, you undress to your comfort level.”

“Hey mister! I found your treasure!”

“That comes with a choice of either salad or fries.”

“What kind of day do you wanna have?”

“If I got a plate of crack for the table, would you have some?”

“Alright, we’re gonna take a plate of fries.”

“I’m probably gay based on the way I act and behave.”

“This will be a very interesting person.”

“Everyone get out of my way.”

“I just wanna sit here and feed my birds.”

“You want me to do what?”

“You’re living the golden years kid, not me.”

“He spoke in rhymes, it was crazy.”

[bluesmemethings]

New In Town Starters

“I don’t look older, I just look worse.”

“I always thought quicksand was gonna be a much bigger problem than it turned out to be”

“if you watch cartoons, quicksand is like the third biggest thing you have to worry about in adult life behind real sticks of dynamite and anvils falling on you from the sky.”

“I think I’m becoming more like my mom. I was watching Access Hollywood, and one of the reporters said ‘up next we have and exclusive interview with Sandra Bullock’s former husband, Jesse James.’ And out loud I went ‘uhg! This oughta be good!’”

“One time I was in bed and my dad came in and said ‘good night (name) did you brush your teeth?’ And I said ‘yes’ but here’s the thing… I hadn’t.”

“If the court reporter reads back my remarks you will see that I did not purger myself.”

“She would just make wild accusations all day long and wait for something to stick.”

“My mom would blame me for things that happened on the news. That is true.”

“(Name) I have been here all night! You can feel the tv, it’s warm.”

“Luckily I had a good alibi because I was in Wisconsin and twelve.”

“My brothers and sisters and I had this babysitter when we were kids and I was in love with her.”

“Why was she in charge?!”

“That’s just like hiring a slightly bigger child.”

“That would be like if you were going out of town for the week and you paid a horse to watch your dog.”

“Why do people shush animals? They’ve never spoken.”

“This is the height of luxury!”

“Lost in New York? The streets are numbered! How did you get lost in New York?”

“It’s a grid system motherfucker. Where you at? 24th and 5th? Where you wanna go? 35th and 6th? 11 up and 1 over you simple bitch.”

“When I was in grade school I was bullied for being Asian American and… the biggest problem with that… is that I am not Asian american.”

“On the first day that he met me, the guy that is now my best friend went home and said ‘papa, today I met a boy with no eyes’ and that was me.”

“Thirteen year olds are the meanest people in the world. They terrify me to this day.”

“8th graders will make fun of you but in an accurate way.”

“No! that’s the thing I’m sensitive about!”

“First off: no.”

“If you’re comparing the badness of two words and you won’t even say one of them, that’s the worse word.”

“Midgets were never enslaved! Unless you count the Wonka factory!”

“It was really easy to get away with murder before they knew about DNA.”

“Here’s how easy it was to get away with bank robbery back in the 30s: as long as you weren’t still there when the police arrived, you had a 99% chance of getting away with it.”

“Oh good it has a mind of its own, that’s very reassuring.”

“It’s 100% easier not to do things, and so much fun not to do them. Especially when you were supposed to do them.”

“In terms of like instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin.”

“I’ve never been killed by hit men, so I don’t know what it’s like in the moments right before you’re killed by hit men, but I bet it’s not unlike when you’re on the subway and you realize that a mariachi band is about to start playing.”

“It doesn’t have to be right, it just has to be short.”

“A hero is any man that does his job.”

“A bozo is any man that cheats on his wife.”

“I went into the room to get the massage and the woman there told me to undress to my comfort level. So I put on a sweater and a pair of corduroy pants, and I felt safe.”

“Hey mister! I found your treasure!”

“If I got a plate of crack for the table would you have some?”

“I have a girlfriend now myself, which is weird because I’m probably gay, based on how I act and behave and have walked and talked for 28 years.”

“I think I was supposed to be gay. I think in heaven they built like three quarters of a gay person and they forgot to flip the final switch and just sent me out.”

“Everyone get out of my way! I just wanna sit here and feed my birds.”

“You want me to do what?”

“We’ve been going pretty hot and heavy lately, I think it’s time we brought in two older catholic people.”

“I listen to everything my girlfriend says. I don’t mean she bosses me around, I just mean that before I had a girlfriend, I never had someone who was always standing next to me and could just point out obvious things that are happening.”

“I don’t look like someone who used to do anything.”

“Oh hey, (name), would you like an old turnip we found in a cabinet? Would that be good for you? Would you like that? I know you don’t drink!”

“I’m really sorry about last night, I was just so drunk.”

“I’m really sorry about last night, it’s just that I’m mean and loud. It probably will happen again.”

“I don’t drink anymore because I used to drink too much and I would black out and ‘ruin parties’ --or so I’m told.”

“ I was 20 and I was at a party at someone’s house and I blacked out drinking and someone came out of one of the rooms at this party holding an old antique bottle with some liquid in it and they said ‘hey, is this whiskey or perfume?’ And apparently I grabbed it, drank all of it and said ‘it’s perfume.’ And it was.”

“(name) was an asshole and one weekend he and his wife decided to leave town, which you should never do if you’re an asshole.”

“Okay, lets go over there and destroy the place.”

“I walked into this party, everyone I had ever met was there and everyone was drinking like it was the end of the world.”

“People were drinking like it was the civil war and a doctor was coming to saw our legs off.”

“They had a pool table in the basement, one kid got a running start and threw his body onto the pool table and broke it in half.”

“I’m standing in the basement and I’m holding a red cup - you’ve seen movies - and I’m starting to black out. And I guess someone said like ‘something something police’ and in a brilliant moment of word association, I shouted ‘FUCK DUH POLICE’ and everyone else joined in. A hundred white, drunk children yelling ‘fuck. duh. police’ with the confidence of guys that have like already been to jail and aren’t afraid of it anymore.”

“My friend – who is now a father, this man now has a baby – grabbed a 40, smashed it on the ground and yelled ‘SCATTER!’ And everyone ran in different directions.”

“I ran into the laundry room and hopped up onto the washing machine and climbed out a window into the back yard and I’m running through the back yard and there’s this huge chain link fence and I thought ‘I have never climbed a fence that high before!’ And then I woke up and home.“

"And I said ‘no’ you know, like a liar.”

“And I had that thought, that only black out drunks and Steve Urkel can have: did I do that? I figured no, I wouldn’t have done that, but I was never sure.”

“he takes me into his bedroom and then he takes me into a side room off of his bedroom- never a good thing to have.”

“WHY? WHY DO YOU DO THIS?”

“Because it’s the one thing you can’t replace.”

“That’s the end of that story but how fucked up is that?”

“I was going into my building late at night and in front of my building I saw a wheel chair knocked over on its side, with no one in it. That’s a bad thing to see. Something happened there, you hope it was a miracle, but probably not.”

“That wasn’t what I was telling you, but alright, let’s talk about this entirely new topic.”

“Excuse me, I am homeless, I am gay, I have AIDS and I’m new in town.”

“That is not the most dramatic thing that you just said.”

“Hey would you help me out? I’m very gay, I’d like a few dollars.”

“Yeah that’s the type of lowbrow shit I’m looking for.”

[thebuckstartshere]

John Mulaney Starter Meme

“Quicksand...It’s like regular sand, but you’re gonna start to sink into it.” “I don’t look older, I just look worse, I think.” “You can’t keep burning the candle at both ends.” “I was anxious all the time when I was younger.” “I always thought that quicksand was going to be a much bigger problem than it turned out to be.” “I never thought about real problems like ‘what’s it going to be like when relatives ask for money?’“ “I think I’m becoming more like my mom.” “I said yes, but here’s the thing: I didn’t.” “So we agree that this is your toothbrush.” “And if the court reporter reads back my remarks, you will see that I did not perjur myself.” “My mom would blame me for things that happened on the news.” “Luckily, I had a good alibi, since I was in Wisconsin and twelve.” “All she could do was dial the telephone a little better than I could.” “That’d be like if you were going out of town for the week and you hired a horse to watch your dog.” “This is the height of luxury!” “Lost in New York? The streets are numbered!” “I was bullied for being Asian American and the biggest problem with that, is that I’m not...Asian American...” “Papa, today I met a boy with no eyes.” “We take our shoes off when we come inside but that’s more of a carpeting thing than anything else.” “Thirteen-year-olds are the meanest people in the world; they terrify me to this day.” “Look at that high-waisted man, he got feminine hips.” “I was offended at being pushed around by this chauvinist asshole who works at Blockbuster Video!” “Now when people make fun at me, I deserve it.” “They were expecting to see like a 100-year-old blind dog texting and drinking a smoothie.” “There could be a protest of midgets on this building!” “Midgets were never enslaved! Unless you count the Wonka Factory.” “He still treats every case like his first in terms of total confusion.” “It was really easy to get away with murder before DNA.” “We’ll draw chalk around where the body is, that way we’ll know where it was.” “I don’t like robots...thinking of things...” “In terms of like, instant relief, cancelling plans is like heroin.” “I don’t know what it’s like to be killed by hitmen because I have never been killed by hitmen but...” “A bozo is any man who cheats on his wife.” “If I got a plate of crack for the table, would you have some?” “Because we’re Delta Airlines and life is a fucking nightmare.” “Look at a sweater made in Ireland! It’s like a turtleneck made out of brillo pads.” “Once people start drinking for the night, they forget everything that isn’t alcohol.” “Is this whiskey or perfume?” “That’s the end of that story but how fucked up is that, right?” “Something happened there. You hope it was a miracle, but probably not.” “Adult life is already so goddamn weird.” “So I pulled up my pants and shuffled away, feeling different.” “The doctor left the room so I’m alone with Batman...”

[nxtritething]

TASK001 : MUN QUESTIONNAIRE 

name  /  alias : caro / care / carebear gender  /  pronouns : female / she&her where  ya  from  ? : u s of a .  orig n y c. the  current  time :  9 pm ( when i started? ) , 1 pm ( when i finished ) job  or  major :  i majored in mechanical engineering and math. no, i canno favorite  thing  (  s  )  about  yourself :  i have some good one-liners.

why  you  joined  hqclouds :  ... i helped make it. also its felt like a long while since i got to play some of my favorite babes, and i just missed them, so i obviously had to jump at an opportunity to bring them back !!!

meaning  behind  url :  it’s uh...... next right thing ,  as in anna’s big song in frozen 2. and i just felt it like, FIT. 

last  thing  you  googled :  zac efron high school musical gif icons, bc i wanted to use for this, but then that account was flagged as adult content and i guess those beloved gifs are lost to the void now...

zodiac :  pisces in  your  opinion  ,  does  your  sign  suit  you  ? : yes. i am a crying fish. also i’m a pisces venus. it makes a LOT of sense. myers  -  briggs :  istj ??? i think?? moral  alignment :  i can be chaotic good, but mostly neutral neutral i think hogwarts  house : i used to be a slytherin, now i’m a hufflepuff. idk what happened to me.

three  fictional  character  (  s  )  you  see  yourself  in  +  why :  uhhhh... 1) bubbles from powerpuff girls. because i am baby. 2) juliet o’hara from psych. i’ve just been rewatching a lot of psych and i love how she’s such a serious yet funny / soft and idk why i just relate to that. 3) john mulaney in mulaney. because this is a cop-out to say i relate to anything / everything john edmund mulaney every does.

i  started  roleplaying : i first started on some fourms ??? on an app on my itouch ??? but my first tumblr rp group was percy jackson and everyone though i was this all knowing pjo fan... when really i was just fast to look shit up on the wikia. i had never read a single page of the series. types  of  rps  i  enjoy :  fandoms, typically ! i used to be exclusively love animated roleplays? like cartoons? but then i transitioned to musicals? like, exclusively playing musical characters??? at this point, tara is like the one exception nowadays... favorite  fcs  to  use :  um... olivia holt is a recent fave? joshua basset, also. my old faves are mary kate wiles and hunter parrish tho. real old. otherwise, i don’t know if i’d say i get attached to fc’s? fandom  (  s  )  you’d  like  to  write  in : i kinda wanna go back to some of my cartoon roots, maybe? i really haven’t deviated from the same 8 - 9 mostly musical characters in literally years...  fandom  (  s  )  you  aren’t  in  but  are  curious  about :  um... the raven cycle ,  miraculous ladybug  , uh..... everything else. i’m so randomly interested in everything.

share  a  funny  roleplay  horror  story :  my favorite is when i was in a youtuber rpf / oc rp, and this girl... made an oc... and made the fc... herself. she made a literal self-insert oc. with herself as the face. like low-res gifs of herself. why, you ask? i think she was trying to ship herself with dan howell. that didn’t age well, did it?

favorite  canon  muse  (  s  )  to  play : do i just list all the characters i’ve been playing for literal years? my recent faves are katherine plumber from newsies and princess anna. favorite  original  muse  (  s  )  to  play : i had a hunter parrish oc. he was in both the pjo and youtube rp. he was obsessed with hanging out with trees and pranks. don’t ask me why. canon  ships  you  can’t  help  but  love :  kristoff / anna , jack kelly / katherine plumber , jake peralta / amy santiago , orpheus / eurydice , && donny novitski / julia trojan. yes, most of these are musicals. who doesn’t love a good love ballad? trope  (  s  )  you  tend  to  be  guilty  of : uhh... adorkable, one of the boys, badass adorable

i  prefer  .  .  . angst  ,  smut  ,  or  fluff :  i am a massive sucker for fluff, but i’m so guilty of angst... i love pain. i don’t really do smut tho. sorry. long  or  short  replies :  i generally prefer short replies, unless we’ve somehow developed a thread into something long. or i’m feeling particularly inspired. pre  plotting  or  chemistry : i love chemistry with all my heart, but sometimes it’s fun to plot past connections that can reignite? idk. mostly chemistry sentence  starters  or  headcanon  memes : headcanon memes, because im never creative to turn a sentence starter into something that makes sense, esp between two characters who don’t know each other. single  muse  or  multimuse  blogs :  multimuse, because i spent too many years reblogging replies to the wrong sideblog and those days are over !!! gif  icons  ,  medium  gifs  ,  or  static  icons : i prefer gif icons for shorter replies and medium gifs for longer ones... or whatever my partner is using. i like some sort of consistency.

grab  the  book  nearest  to  you  and  pull  a  quote  from  it : ‘ what’s the rush? ’ repeat this phase when you’re feeling overwhelmed or stressed out. ask yourself whether somethings really needs doing immediately. are you ignoring your needs in order to do it?  - the little book of sloth philosophy. 

what’s  a  quote  or  song  lyric  that  speaks  to  your  soul  ? : “ did you fall? or did you let go? ”  -  connor murphy to evan hansen, dear evan hansen. ( idk why this immediately jump to mind but... )

top  current  celebrity  crushes :  jeremy jordan, corey cott, jordan fisher, claire saffitz, brian david gilbert. last  movie  you  watched :  bridal boot camp did  you  like  it  ? :  yes. i loved it. it’s absolute garbage and i loved it. favorite  movie  (  s  )    of  all  time : idk but i can always rewatch prince of egypt. godspell favorite  tv  show  (  s  )  of  all  time : uhh.... i keep rewatching psych.   favorite  tv  show  (  s  ) that  hasn’t  ended : brooklyn nine-nine, zoey’s extraordinary playlist. sports  team  (  s  )  you  rep : uh... grew up in a yankee / mets household. favorite  video  game  (  s  ) : pokemon, animal crossing  favorite  youtube  channels : drew gooden, danny gonzalez, jenna marbles.

put  your  music  on  shuffle.  what  six  songs  pop  up  ? :

greased lightin’ from grease live ; oh mother by hunter parrish ; nerds by bo burnham ; a miracle would happen / when you come home to me from the last five years ; just another day from next to normal ; who tells your story from hamilton mixtape. 

i haven’t listened to any of these in forever, but i am still, indeed, musical theater trash.

personal  aesthetic : demin overalls, scrunchies, the color teal, big stuffed animals. dream  vacation  ? : somewhere beautiful with people i love. dream  job  ? : perhaps like designing custom 3D prosthetics dream  car  ? :  i hate driving, but a big ol’ truck. like suv. big one. favorite  musical : gospell, dear evan hansen, bandstand, newsies, shrek the musical, mamma mia, i could go on... unwatched  stuff  in  your  netflix  /  hulu  /  etc :  sailor moon crystal, crash landing on you, locke & key, all the bright places, the half of it, younger, meteor, hello my twenties ...

what’s  a  subject  you  know  too  much  about  +  never  get  tired  of  talking  about  ? : musicals. so many musicals. i know both know too much and not enough.

[acioo]

people need to realize that when you are in a group of 40 people, the rp is not going to revolve around you & your characters alone --- and somewhat related, when there's over 50 characters, you are not going to have connections with them all ! it doesn't mean people are isolating you !

oh, yeah, you’ve got a point. and then people leave after like ten minutes because “ they don’t feel welcome “ because people… have connections? have… friends? in a long-standing and huge rp? like, no shit, babe. like pick up a few wanted connections and plot with people, because just joining and posting a starter and then claiming that the rp is cliquey because people are having fun with each other without you being directly involved… is so ridiculous to me. like i feel like half the time being “ cliquey “ is just john mulaney vc oh like having friends? and people being threatened.

[therpmemes]

       john mulaney: kid gorgeous   → sentence starters

slightly edited in some cases to work for rp purposes. feel free to change phrasing or pronouns to fit your muse(s)!

❝ Let’s change the subject! ❞

❝ This is a weird conversation and I want to talk about a book I read about World War II.❞

❝ Whoever did kill her only did it to protect her from this world. ❞

❝ Ah, none of us really know their fathers. ❞

❝ I was sitting over on the bench. ❞

❝ You saw what happened and did nothing! ❞

❝ Sometimes, he was gay. ❞

❝ When he was holding back the gay part, he did some of his best work. ❞

❝ I never talked to my dad about that but I figured I’d tell you. ❞

❝ Freebasing is the greatest orgasm known to man. ❞

❝ I’ve been sober now two weeks. Well, weekdays, not weekends. ❞

❝ What was so funny? I wanna know. ❞

❝ None of that matters but it’s important to me that you know that.  ❞

❝ Phonebooks don’t leave bruises. ❞

❝ Give us some money! As a gift! We want a gift! But only if it’s money! ❞

❝ I thought I’d be dead in a trunk by now. ❞

❝ You spent it already?! ❞

❝ Where’s the money? ❞

❝ I lived on cigarettes and alcohol and adderall. ❞

❝ Do my friends hate me or do I just need to go to sleep? ❞

❝ That’s illegal! They tricked me! ❞

❝ I paid 120,000 dollars for someone to tell me to go read Jane Austen and then I didn’t!❞

❝ If it’s too big you can just wear it as a sleep-shirt. ❞

❝ Hey, do you want me to kill that guy for you? ❞

❝ Jokes don’t do well in court. ❞

❝ I'm in the phase right before Old. ❞

❝ I am damp all the time. ❞

❝ I am gross. ❞

❝ UGHHHHH -- you know, life. ❞

❝ I don’t know what my body is for, other than just taking my head from room to room. ❞

❝ I get super hot in the middle of the afternoon for no reason. ❞

❝ Let’s just not see each other for eight months and it doesn’t matter at all. ❞

❝ I was raised to be nice to everyone in every situation because you never know their story. ❞

❝ A lot of people don’t seem that nice and they seem to be doing fine in the world. ❞

❝ Not everyone thinks the same things are nice. ❞

❝ Famous people are weird as shit. ❞

❝ Your suspicions are correct. ❞

❝ I say ‘knock-knock’ out loud.❞

❝ The world is run by robots and we spend most of our time telling them we’re not a robot. ❞

❝ Think about that for two minutes and tell me that you don’t want to walk into the ocean.❞

❝ It seems like everyone everywhere is super mad about everything all the time. ❞

❝ I try to stay optimistic even though things seem to be getting a little sticky. ❞

❝ I don’t remember that in Hamilton. ❞

❝ I need everybody, all day long, to like me so much. It’s exhausting. ❞

❝ What do you think they’re celebrating? ❞

❝ I wasn’t raised catholic and I’m fucking glad I wasn’t because it’s a fucked up organization. ❞

❝ That should be the slogan of the catholic church: It’s an hour! ❞

❝ God can’t hear you. ❞

❝ First of all, get out of here with your facts. Just ‘cause you’re accurate doesn’t mean you’re interesting. ❞

❝ A charming anecdote that was fake and never happened. ❞

❝ These meaningless politeness rules! ❞

❝ I would never say that, not even as a joke, that my wife is a bitch and I don’t like her. ❞

❝ My wife is a bitch and I like her so much. ❞ 

❝ I smoked cocaine the night before my college graduation. Now I’m afraid to get a flu shot. People change. ❞

❝ I was in Connecticut recently, doing white people stuff. ❞

❝ Brush your teeth! Now boom, orange juice! That’s life. ❞

❝ College is a $120,000 hooker and you're the idiot who fell in love with her.❞

❝ STREET SMARTS! ❞

❝ He could look at a child and guess the price of their coffin. ❞