#Just like Kunikida keeps believing every fun fact Dazai throws at him

[shininas-ideals]

The meanest meanie

[hanazou]

Hi! Could I ask for Dazai, Ranpo, Kunikida/Atsushi with an s/o who frequently picks their skin/scabs/scalp. My psychologist, mom, and I are pretty confident that I have ASD, and it's a relatively common stim. This can also happen with ADHD, OCD, and anxiety disorders -- I'm not sure if this suggestion is too centered around a reader’s identity! (Also, it's not intentional self-harm; it relieves stress and boredom, but just happens to cause damage :/ If you're uncomfortable, I understand) Thx! <3

dazai, ranpo, and atsushi and a lover who constantly picks skin/scalp/scab.

📜 Books : Dazai | Ranpo | Atsushi

📜 Word count : 2.3k

📜 Shelf : Paperback

📜 Category : Headcanons

📜 Genre : Fluff, with a tiny hint of angst with Dazai and Atsushi

📜 Caution : Vague mentions of disorders and insecurities

📜 Note : Don't worry, @my-introvert-hideout! I'm not uncomfortable nor is this too specific. In fact, I had so much fun writing this! I chose Atsushi (because I kin him I resonate with him better), I hope this does your suggestion justice. I apologize if any of these is inaccurate.

Enjoy your books! 💛

Dazai Osamu

He's an ex Port Mafia executive and currently employed as a detective. Never doubt that he'll catch on your habit the first time you display it around him. But only when things are official between you two will he take an action about it.

With his background and quick wits, Dazai knows a lot about the quirks people can have, where they came from, and why they do it. By judging from your expression and slights of movements, he knows that it's caused by your certain conditions and nothing like deliberately inflicting pain on yourself. After all, he's well accustomed to self harm itself too, and he doesn't see it in you, not that way.

Dazai's understanding on your habit will be more personal rather than analytical--because of his self destructive tendencies. He can relate to you in this aspect, but whether this is a bad or good news is completely up to your personal interpretation.

Only after things become official between you both that he steps his feet into ‘that’ zone, deciding now he has the right to interfere. He's the type of guy that perceives intervening with issues like this requires a special established relation with you beforehand, if not, who is he to say anything?

Dazai doesn't mind that you never took the initiative to tell him first, what matters that is he knows and he has for long. He'll take his chance of intervention when you start picking yourself again, but only when it's just the two of you around. If you're with the other ADA members or within a crowd, he'll just figure out something to distract you and do it subtly.

The private moment will come sooner than you think. With a swift move that escaped your eyes, he has taken your hand hostage. "Nuh-uh," He cooed. "You're prone to injure your pretty skin."

His direct words will push you off guard. You'll notice that he knows about your quirk, maybe get a little shy from not realizing that he knows if you're the shy type of person.

Dazai is a clingy guy and even more so as a boyfriend, your habit will only give him a legitimate reason to hold your hand wherever you two go. Your hands will sweat from constantly holding his. He will definitely use it as an advantage to tease you too.

"I have to go to the bathroom, can I trust your hand or do I have to keep holding it?"

You will literally throw his hand away. "What th—Go by yourself."

Dazai has loads of tricks up his sleeve, and combined with his knowledge, he knows more than one or two or three methods to help you. Whether they are effective or not depends entirely on you and your condition. Sometimes his tricks are so subtle that you didn't even realize until you think back about it.

Assuming you're thinking of seeking help from experts, Dazai will be totally with the idea. "I can feel your earnest effort for this, I'm glad for you."

He'll take you to your appointments and wait for you, and sometimes walk you back home, which is also another trick to ditch work and piss Kunikida off. Two birds with one stone, right? :)

Expect him to shower you with loving words after every session. Maybe it will even make you feel corny. But truth be told, he'll deeply ponder about your condition, you, and himself. He's well aware of his nihilism and ponders whether the words he said are genuine or just part of the new personality he adopted when he left Port Mafia that sometimes run on autopilot.

(aka he suspects he's not being totally earnest with his sweetness)

If it's the latter, the corny lovey dovey words will double as an effort to help you and himself. Don't blame Dazai too much, he has trouble differentiating between what’s good and bad (as what was said by my man Oda), but at least he's trying hard for your sake.

When you show some progress, he will be so expressive in praising you. His self doubt or whatever it is, that can wait. His darling comes first.

Dazai will give a hug or two and other romantic stuffs like that even if you're in public. He's a tease and you know you love it. If you especially get embarrassed about it, he'll try to fluster you even more. Is it to distract you or himself? Nobody knows.

Edogawa Ranpo

This Yokohama's best detective is well versed in a lot of things, psychological conditions included. If you have any condition at all, it doesn't take him long at all to understand it. Nothing escapes his pretty green eyes.

Ranpo's approach will be the opposite of Dazai. His will be more analytical rather than emotional or personal.

In the scenario where you don't feel too confident about your condition, you might be constantly worrying Ranpo will make a blunt comment about it. But trust me, you don't have to worry anything about it with this guy. He’s straightforward, but he’s not rude.

Even if Ranpo hasn't had any personal experiences of feeling/witnessing this sort of thing firsthand, you can count on him to be knowledgeable about it, although his words won't be exactly delicate. He knows that some people have problems if it's addressed boldly and he knows where the line for him lays.

Ranpo is the type of guy to think that if you never told him about it, then that's your decision and it's nothing to make a fuss about/make complaints for, but he's not going to pretend he doesn't notice. He doesn’t hold back his tongue.

He will treat this situation slightly akin to a case for him to solve. Why? Because first of all, he’s your boyfriend. Who else is better fitted to take care of you and analyze the root cause? Second, because of that personal attachment with you, he will feel the obligation to step in.

When nobody is in the agency office since they don't slack off like him, he'll stretch back against his chair, hands behind his back, and call out your name who stayed behind to assist and babysit him.

"Won't you hurt yourself if you keep doing that?" He asks, his sharp eyes closed. Blunt questions are his signature. You will instantly freeze, only realizing that you were going off with your habit.

You won't feel the need to explain it, because you know that he knows, and he knows that you know he knows (do I make sense? this sounds like that one Dazai and Fyodor meme)

"If you want, I know some ways to help and I'm acquainted with some experts." He says easily, stuffing his mouth with chips. After he swallows, only then his green eyes opens. "You're hurting yourself, you know that?"

I'm not going to sugar-coat his personality. If you want heartfelt, supportive, and warm words, talk to Kenji or Yosano because you won't hear it from Ranpo. But the brighter side is that Ranpo is a very good listener and offers practical suggestions that you know are fool-proof. With each word you vent to him, the more methods spring up in his head to help. Lucky of you to have him!

If you agree to seek professional help or his own, he's a different kind of romantic than Dazai who knows how to swoon you off your feet. Ranpo’s praise won’t be like Dazai’s (since receiving conventional praises is his thing), but he'll say something rather indirect like "Good for you. Nobody knows what's best for you other than yourself, not even me."

After your sessions are over for the day, Ranpo will gift you his favourite snacks. Chips, cookies, ice creams, jellies, sodas. Do you know how lucky you are if Ranpo gives you his favourite snacks? Mostly it's because he's not confident in sweet talks so he's hoping that you'll get the gist of what he's trying to do.

Heck, he'll even wait for you (partially because he doesn't know how to go home by himself, but that's not the point) quietly without whining that it's taking too long. To occupy himself, sometimes he'll bring some papers of the cases Fukuzawa gave him and solve interesting cases. But when you emerge from the door, everything is forgotten and his attention is fully back to you.

"Oh, you're finally finished!" He springs back up to his feet, arms expanded.

I encourage you to tell him about your sessions. He'll compliment you in his own ways believe me.

"My super deduction concludes that you did well." He says as you pop out the popsicle he gave, a cheeky grin on his face. Oh, you one lucky fella.

On the way back to the agency, presumably on a train, if you're getting better, Ranpo will definitely smile cheekily to himself, prideful of you and him.

"I'm always right, after all." He says. "What do you think, aren't I such a great boyfriend and detective? You're lucky to have this combination all for yourself!"

Damn right you are.

Nakajima Atsushi

This will be slightly lengthy.

In terms of discovering this quirk of yours, Atsushi's approach will be different than Dazai and Ranpo's. If anyone is insecure about this one aspect in your relationship, it will be Atsushi.

Let's be frank, Atsushi's abused background didn't let him know much about the world, disorders/special needs included. We're talking about the boy whose first idea of survival was to jump on strangers. He was thrown into the real world without any experience and minimum social skills, it's almost impossible he immediately clicks on the reason behind your habit.

Despite so, Atsushi will notice it, weretiger senses used or not. Growing up abused, he was forced to notice the microexpression changes on people’s face and their quirks/habits as a defense mechanism in case he earns someone's ire (remember about the infiltration mission with Akutagawa on Rats of the House of the Dead when he said he can hear when someone’s mind snaps). Even though he believes you will never pose a harm to him ever, he couldn't help but to overthink every single little thing you do. He just can’t help it.

Constantly picking your scalp/scab/skin makes him free fall to the assumption that you're anxious around him since he knows that people sometimes fidget when they feel unsafe. At first, he thought that you're nervous around him. Is it because he's a weretiger? Because you don't trust him? Because you think of him as a hindrance?

This sweet boy thinks a lot about you. You basically live in his head rent free, and ever since he noticed your habit, you will quickly climb up the ranks of things-Atsushi-overthinks.

He will address you about his insecure thoughts after they're brewed aka rotted his brain long enough

When you're picking your skin, Atsushi will call your name softly as he fidgets. "Are you, maybe, uncomfortable around me?"

The confusion you will feel. "What?"

The conversation will spin around how and why that thought even popped out, and because of mutual confusion, it will take a while until you're like "OH. That's why."

You will have to explain it but he's not that dense as to he'll keep asking "Huh?" As I mentioned, anxiety is his old friend. He understands very well the constant need of having to pick to ground yourself and alleviate the intruding thoughts.

He will apologise for assuming things himself, maybe overreact a little, blaming himself for thinking things are about him when it’s actually about you, and he will be very tender about it. After all that, he will do everything in his power to help with your condition.

Atsushi will keep your hands busy by holding it before you start picking yourself, gently, but firmly. He will use his heightened senses to pick on the signs before you pick your skin/scalp/scab and try to distract you by doing anything.

Remember that one scene of his entrance test where he panics, not knowing what to say to Tanizaki? yeah he will be like that.

"AAH! Look! A cat!"

Then Atsushi will get more creative. He will not hesitate to spend the money from his cute wallet to buy lotion/moisturiser for your skin that smells so good (thank you for your help to guide him pick it, Kyouka), hoping it will help you. Maybe he'll get you gloves to match his own (matching couple things are never outdated). You won't pick on your fingers that way.

If you ever want to talk about your condition, please, share it with him. I insist. He insists. It's a win-win solution for both of you. His faith that you truly treasure and believe in him will harden (helps with his self esteem), and you get to throw off the load burdening you down.

He also feels it's his responsibility, part of that is because of his Headmaster's words, but mostly because he treasures you that much. If he caught you picking again, he'll become super worried and so guilt ridden.

If you decide to seek professional help, he will be 100% supportive. I won't sugar-coat again—Atsushi will detect his disappointment at himself for not being enough to help you on his own, but at the same time he's also realistic. He knows that he doesn't have what it takes by himself.

His Headmaster's words will echo again, again, and again. "You failed to help your own lover? Have this orphanage taught you nothing—have I not taught you anything? Will you ever amount to any good?"

He will fight it back harder than usual because now, it's about you. He can't afford to fail you, especially you. If you do talk about your condition to him, it will calm him down by a lot.

In short, your condition impacts Atsushi more that you ever thought. Please support each other.

📜; like what you read? visit my bookshop!

[chouetteffraie]

Trick or Treat, Dazai-san? [Dazatsu Halloween Week, Day 7]

FINALLY! I’m cutting it pretty close but I actually finished a ship week and I only want to throw two of my “entries” into a pit of flames!! Wow!!

This one was the one I was most excited for tbh- I’m so happy to have it done! I hope you all like it, hopefully it isn’t too ooc~

and finally, after all the angsting I did, it’s fluff!

thank you so much to mod mango, mod cherish and mod datura of @dazatsu-fest for making this event possible! I had tons of fun and I’m super happy I was able to participate! anyway stan dazatsu for clean skin xoxo

Day 7 - Free Day

Today was the day. He hated to sound like Kunikida, but Dazai couldn’t help but praise himself with his amazing plan. Halloween was the ideal time for everything to take place- after all, it was the second best holiday for playing tricks, providing him with an easy cover should anything go wrong. Not that it would: he had spent many sleepless nights going over the details of his plan, planning for every setback and how to recover for them. In recent events, he spent his nights at his kitchen table, using the dim lighting to put together a few props to aid him in his efforts, including baking and making sure he got everything just right. Despite what little time for sleep that left him, Dazai skipped out of his dorm that day with more pep than he could remember feeling...well, ever. With his little bag of tricks securely in his hand, he made his way to the agency, hoping his rare punctuality would keep Kunikida off his case long enough to bring home a success.

He should have known that was all wishful thinking, however.

Despite Dazai allowing himself the rare luxury of getting excited for the holiday, he knew there was nothing special about Halloween, especially not this one. Aside from his own preconceived expectations, nothing was set to happen. There was no party he’d be attending, no trick or treat he planned to participate in, which meant there was no reason for Atsushi to be looking so exceptionally pretty.

Dazai had managed to beat him to the office, a fact that made Kunikida raise a brow but hold his tongue for gear of jinxing it. When the door swept open again, Atsushi was chatting with Kyouka, adorned in the jacket the agency had teamed up and purchased him for his first autumn with them. He had taken good care of it, not a stain to be found on the brown coat. He had it unzipped- weather it was from a rushed morning or because it wasn’t quite cold enough to be completely bundled up, Dazai couldn’t tell- and easily slipped it off his shoulders when he walked into the warm office. Dazai’s breath caught in his throat- a sensation only familiar when he was around Atsushi- and he followed Atsushi’s path to his desk with his eyes. 

Once Atsushi was settled, Dazai felt as if all eyes were on him. A quick glance around the office proved him wrong- save for Ranpo, which he took care of with a sharp glare. Gathering himself, Dazai reached in his bag and pulled out his first weapon.

“Atsushi-kun,” Dazai started quietly. Atsushi perked up and turned to face his mentor, a smile already brightening up the room.

“Ah, Dazai-san! Good morning,” He said cheerfully. “Can I help you?”

For a moment, considered backing out, saving his pride and not daring to risk any relationship he had worked so hard to build up to this point. He knew Ranpo was eavesdropping, however, and he blamed the thought of his endless ridicule for giving him an extra push of courage. 

“These are for you. Happy Halloween.”

Atsushi looked down at the plate, confused. It took much longer for his face to change, much too long for Dazai’s liking. While Atsushi inspected the treats in front of him, Dazai wanted to complain about holding his arms out or something, anything to speed up Atsushi’s judgement. When his answer finally did come, however, Dazai felt like curling up into a ball and disappearing.

“...Why?” Atsushi asked innocently as he took the plate, picking up a heart-shaped cookie with unnaturally orange frosting. He must have seen Dazai’s crestfallen expression because he opened his mouth to say something, but Dazai beat him to it.

“I couldn’t sleep last night. I guess I was just bored and thought you might like them,” he answered, turning his head to look at the paper on his desk. Suddenly, all the plans he had for the day didn’t seem as possible.

“I-I do like them! Really,” Atsushi responded, cheeks dusted red as he tried to save himself. “I just meant- why the hearts?”

Dazai chuckled to himself. “It was the only cookie cutter I had.”

“O-oh,” Atsushi responded dumbly, looking at the plates with a face still aflame. Slowly, he took a bite of one of the cookies, carefully watching himself for any accidental hints of displeasure. “Wow! These are really good! Would you like one, Dazai-san?”

With the plate held out in front of his face, Dazai was hit with how stupid his idea was. The frosting smelled entirely too sweet this close to his face, and he carefully pushed the plate away. “Be careful not to make yourself sick,” he advised instead before pushing his chair back to leave.

—-

By the time lunchtime had arrived (and after a few pep talks), Dazai had convinced himself to rebound. He texted Atsushi, asking him about his lunch plans, before offering him a bowl of the chazuke he had when they first met. It wasn’t meant to be romantic- it was merely the closest and cheapest he knew Atsushi liked- but if it would gain him brownie points he wasn’t going to turn those down. Transporting it was a pain (he was lucky enough to have convinced the tea house to let him take the whole meal with him), but when he placed it on Atsushi’s desk, he sighed in relief. Finally, he took his next trick out of his pocket and taped it to the doorway, standing beneath it and waiting for his target.

When he saw Atsushi make his way down the hall, he didn’t need to put much effort into welcoming him with a smile. Atsushi returned the gesture and stopped directly in front of Dazai, just like he planned.

“Dazai-san, if for some reason you feel bad for this morning...I didn’t mean to sound rude or ungrateful…” Atsushi started, but Dazai’s hand halted him in his tracks.

“The only thing I’m sorry for is the stomach ache I may have inadvertently caused. We can’t have you running around the city with an upset stomach, now can we?” Dazai asked.

“Oh, is that why you offered to buy lunch?” Atsushi asked. 

“Well, that, and it’s been a while since I’ve checked up on favorite subordinate. I thought it’d be nice to catch up, just you and me.”

For a moment, Dazai swore he saw panic flash in Atushsi’s eyes before they started darting around anxiously. “Ah- well….hey, what’s that?” He asked, eyes glued above him to the top of the doorway. 

Perfect.

“Oh, it’s homemade mistletoe!” Dazai responded, leaning down for emphasis. “I made it myself. Pretty clever, right?”

Atsushi reached up to gently touch the fake cobwebs Dazai messily tied together, small spider beads acting as the berries that would normally be on the plant. He had to strain to reach the decoration, bringing his face even closer to Dazai’s. Feeling his heart skip a beat, Dazai began slowly inching closer, hoping he could catch Atsushi’s attention somehow and close the gap. Finally, Atsushi caught his eyes and watched him. Dazai swore he saw his eyes trail down and linger right where he wanted them to, and there was only one way to find out...

“Isn’t that a Christmas tradition?” Kyouka asked suddenly, startling both men and staring pointedly at the fake mistletoe. Dazai shot up, his back cracking in protest. A yelp drowned out the sound, one that must’ve come from Atsushi judging from the bewildered expression on his face. Kyouka seemed to realize just what she had interrupted and looked between them apologetically.

“Kyouka-chan, you’re just in time. I was just letting Atsushi know your lunch is on my desk.”

“What?” Atsushi asked, voice strained. “But I thought you said-”

“I just remembered, I have some work to do with Kunikida. I’m already late, but he should expect that by now. Enjoy your meal,” Dazai answered quickly. He could hear a dejected murmur of his name behind him, but nobody bothered to follow after him as he briskly walked away. Once he was sure neither of the pair could see him, he ducked his head and hid his hands away in his pockets, fingers anxiously fidgeting and brushing against each other.

Another plan down the drain.

—-

It was getting dark. Allowing his shoes to scuff on the sidewalk, Dazai walked with his head down low. The autumn air was chilly, enough to push past his coat and sink into his bones. Or maybe that was the loneliness. It was getting hard to differentiate the two.

Atsushi was back at the agency with the others, having been invited to go around town and see what kind of trouble they could stir up. Dazai had been invited, too, and it seemed like the kind of celebration that was right up his alley, yet he refused. He didn’t think he could take another defeat.

Above him, the starless sky stared blankly at his pathetic form, mocking him. Not even the stars would stick with him and comfort him in his time of his need. A bittersweet smile stretching across his face, Dazai tilted his head back to face the universe and its punishment. Was this his trial? For all his crimes, was he forced to suffer through a heart attack every time Atsushi came near him? Was the sudden onslaught of uncertainty to plague him forever? He didn’t know.

If he were smarter, he’d have pushed Atsushi away from the beginning. He got too attached too quickly, too focused on that familiar reverence for life to let Atsushi go. Even when he was told that he was a good person, that Atsushi wanted to stay with him, he couldn’t believe it. Why was there someone here, someone who seemed so similar to a past friend so precious, who was willing to stay? It was all coming too easy to him, and it would be just as easy to lose. Yet he wanted to indulge.

Dazai wasn’t sure which he should do: curse the universe for making these feelings so easy to catch and easier to lose, or laugh at the universe fooling him into thinking he’d ever have a chance at truly fostering them?

It hurt. It hurt to know that he really wanted to try and do better for Atsushi. It hurt to know that he had a chance to have someone who would help him navigate a path he barely knew how to follow, and yet it wasn’t his to take. It hurt to know that he was willing to try anyway and had failed.

Dazai could barely take the pain in his gut from thinking it all over.

Thankfully, hurried footsteps behind him drew his attention away from his mind. Turning, Dazai found his relief was short-lived when he saw a flash of silver running towards him. Glancing around out of the corner of his eyes, Dazai saw there was nowhere to run and straightened out his act, putting on a brave face.

Atsushi was huffing and puffing by the time he got to Dazai, pausing to bend over and grab his knees in order to stop them from wobbling, Dazai waited patiently until Atsushi stood straight up again, face flushed from the running, before he said, “What brings you here? I thought you were celebrating.”

“Why aren’t you with us?” Atsushi demanded, voice still feathery. Always straight to the point, Dazai thought. He allowed the silence to stretch on for a moment, more to sort his own feelings out than force Atsushi to suffer through some suspense.

“I decided to turn in early,” Dazai answered with a shrug. Atsushi didn’t believe his excuse for a moment, his skepticism shown clearly in the glare he offered Dazai. At this point, though, he knew there was no winning in a stare-off, so he sighed instead.

“You know, you celebrate Halloween in all kinds of crazy ways. I don’t expect any less,” He started. Dazai fought back the urge to cringe as Atsushi continued. “Except...you forgot one thing.”

“Like what?” Dazai asked. Atsushi clasped his hands behind his back.

“Trick or treat, Dazai-san?” He asked. With his head tilted as he rocked back and forth on his heels, Atsushi looked more adorable than ever. Watching him for a moment, Dazai found a strange peace within him. Even if his attempts failed before he even really got to try, at least Atsushi wasn’t leaving him. 

Maybe it was better this way.

Atsushi was clearly expecting an answer, though, so Dazai shrugged again before turning to face him fully. “I don’t think that’s a question people expect an actual answer to.”

“Well, I am,” Atsushi demanded, taking a step closer to Dazai. For the second time that day, they were much closer than what was appropriate, though neither of them could feel the other’s breath against their skin or hear the nervous, frantic beat of their hearts. “So, which is it? Trick or treat?”

“You know what? Trick me, Atsushi-kun.”

Dazai expected him to say something cruel, to pretend he shared Dazai’s feelings and force Dazai to live a lie of not caring that it was fake. Instead, he got a soft laugh. “I feel like I’ve been doing that all day, since I’ve been inadvertently ignoring your advances.”

Dazai didn’t let his expression change, though Atsushi could see how it hardened and he forced it to stay in place. “I knew what you were trying to do all day. I just...got nervous. And then you always changed your story, so I never thought I was right but...I’ve been turning you down all day before you even got to confess, huh?”

As if to prove his point, Atsushi put one hand on Dazai’s shoulder and used it as leverage to lift himself up, pressing his lips to Dazai’s cheek faster than Dazai could process it. Atsushi’s other hand slipped the fake spider mistletoe Dazai had made into Dazai’s before he stepped away, flustered. “I-I hope you don’t mind. That’s the only treat I have to make it up to you.”

Dazai blinked once, twice, starstuck and numb, before he finally let himself smile and laugh. “Atsushi-kun is a big bully, eh? He’s so mean to his elders!”

Almost immediately, Atsushi started stammering again, trying to find a way to defend himself from Dazai’s teasing. His already pink face slowly darkened as he stuttered through his words, occasional accusations of “You’re so mean!” and protests of “That’s not what I’m doing!” making it past. As Dazai walked home with Atsushi’s indignance in his ear, he relished in the fact that at least he was not the only one rendered useless by the other’s presence.