#KAWI IS DRUNK

[madeinjapan-thailand-blbambeyond]

MCF: MADE IN THAILAND

GAWIN CASKEY

[Nickname: FLUKE]

PERAWAT SANGPOTIRAT

[Nickname: KRIST]

[ryansjane]

[invisiblegarters]

Those are some mighty conflicted eyebrows you have there, sir.

[hoomanbeaning]

*we're waiting for a cab to arrive

[staydandy]

Be My Favorite (2023) - บทกวีของปีแสง - Whump List

List by StayDandy Synopsis : Botkawi has forever been in love with Pearmai. His life is forever changed when a musical crystal ball he bought as an important gift for Pearmai transports him back in time to the age of eighteen. Everything turns upside-down. Instead of fulfilling his hopes and setting things right with Pearmai, Botkawi somehow ends up in the arms of Pisaeng. Thus begin their cat and mouse games with Pisaeng chasing after Botkawi. Old feelings for Pearmai, however, become a detriment to their blossoming romance. Frustrated, Botkawi keeps twisting the crystal ball in an attempt to get his desired results. (MDL) AKA : You Are My Favorite | The Poetry of Lightyears

Whumpee : “Kawi” Botkawi played by Krist Perawat Sangpotirat • Pisaeng Jirawarakul played by Fluke Gawin Caskey

Country : 🇹🇭 Thailand Genres : Romance, Life, Supernatural, BL / Boys Love

Notes : This is a Full Whump List • Adapted from the novel "You Are My Favorite" (บทกวีของปีแสง) by JittiRain

Episodes on List : 7 Total Episodes : 12

*Spoilers below*

01 : (near end) Kawi is drunk

02 : … continued from previous ep. ... Drunk.. falls asleep, carried

04 : Drunk

06 : Drunk, passes out, caught … carried

09 : Pisaeng is drunk

11 : Sick … Kawi sick … hospitalized (well that escalated quickly - wish they stretched this out a bit more naturally)

12 : [past] Motion sick from a roller coaster … [present] Hospitalized, ventilator

[bl-bam-beyond]

BE MY FAVORITE (2023, THAILAND)

Episode 6

Don't do it Pisaeng (GAWIN CASKEY aka FLUKE) he's drunk. Pisaeng couldn't help but get a kiss in with his crush Kawi (PERAWAT SANGPOTIRAT aka KRIST) but Kawi passed out completely before it could go any further.

@pose4photoml @lutawolf

[bellarkeandclintashaandsuch]

I know it would undermine the seriousness of Kawi's decent into alcoholism and the way he started disregarding Pisaeng's feelings and taking him for granted... but I would love a montage of all the times Kawi got drunk and kissed Pisaeng.

[marbles290]

I’m sure that by the end of the day Pisaeng got there house and what they naming there first kids picked out already 😂😂

[jjsanguine]

Pisaeng: I'm sorry.

Kawi: what for? this wasn't your fault

Kawi: say, you didn't say anything about me to anyone did you? Like while drinking or anything?

Pisaeng: No. I didn't.

Kawi, resigned: ok, forget it

Pisaeng:

Kawi: anyway, we shouldn't be seen together in public if it's not necessary.

Kawi: I don't want to answer those questions.

Pisaeng: ...

[kissablelips-desireslure-vol1]

BE MY FAVORITE (2023)

GAWIN CASKEY (as Pisaeng)

& PERAWAT SANGPOTIRAT (as Kawi)

[neonsbian]

pisaeng and kawi sober kiss next episode pls 🤲

[respectthepetty]

I . . . *concentrating on breathing deeply and slowly so I don't hyperventilate*

I just . . . *breathing getting quicker even though I'm trying to calm down*

I . . . I . . . *heart is racing at an alarming speed*

I LOVE THIS SHOW SO FUCKING MUCH!

The previews haven't lied to us once! The previews told us Pisaeng was going to show up at Kawi's in his wedding tux and kiss him, and he did. The previews showed us Pisaeng was going to confess to Kawi on the rooftop, and he did! Then the previews said Kawi would kiss Pisaeng, AND HE DID!

Kawi told Pear he liked her and she kindly rejected him. Pisaeng told Pear he has no feelings for her beyond friendship. Pisaeng told Kawi he liked him, and Kawi kindly told Pisaeng the feelings were not reciprocated.

AND NOW THIS!

And this!

Kawi intended to tell Pisaeng he is from the future, and even though Pisaeng probably thought Kawi was drunk rambling, it matters that Kawi wants to tell Pisaeng. And for Pisaeng to have felt he was gay for YEARS, and finally have the confidence to tell his mom that he doesn't need her approval or shielding from reality was amazing.

This show isn't lying to us! I can trust it! Because when Pisaeng asked Max if he felt isolated after realizing he was gay, Max answered honestly.

This has been a big discussion this week for Step by Step, so seeing the boundaries between Max and Pisaeng although Max is slightly crossing it, shows there is hesitation on both sides, but they are growing closer. Unlike these clear boundaries.

Kawi had a double boundary with Pear after he realized Pisaeng told her his issue, but with Pisaeng, Kawi was boxed in the boundary.

It started at the dinner, with Pisaeng's window being opened but Kawi boxed in.

And it continued throughout the night until Kawi crossed the line multiple times (IN THE PINK!).

And after that, they were boxed in, together.

It's great that Pisaeng's mom stated that Pisaeng never brings anyone over because she said it due to Pisaeng bringing a drunk Kawi home, but we learned Kawi was there earlier, and very sober, to get a shirt from Pisaeng, and they were boxed in together then as well. So will Pisaeng's place serve as their safe space?

Even more interesting is, much like Step by Step and the rich boys' closets, Pisaeng's closet has mirrors (reflective) and glass.

After Pisaeng's conversation with his mom, we realize that Pisaeng, much like Step by Step's Jeng, isn't closeted but can't be OUT out. Pisaeng has known he was different and has been sad and isolated since with his ironic Cheers Queers Beer.

I mentioned it last week, but this show is really harping on the honesty aspect for all its characters. Kawi, who never drank before, is trying to drown all his conflicted feelings in alcohol instead of being honest with himself. Pear's dad encouraged MORE drinking, while Pisaeng refused to drink what his mother offers him. Kawi is running but Pisaeng is done trying to bury his emotions.

But when Kawi woke up the next day after kissing Pisaeng, he immediately asked Pisaeng if it was a dream at breakfast, then he attempted to ask Pisaeng about it again.

And right before he crossed the line with Pisaeng AGAIN and leaned his head on Pisaeng's shoulder, he admitted that he hates himself for "sucking so much" that he needs constant help from everyone else.

Because the first time Kawi crossed the line was to stop Pisaeng from leaving, which caused him to apologize to Pisaeng for being a jerk, and we'll see him ask Pisaeng to stay AGAIN next week in the hospital. Kawi is literally and figuratively starting to reach out for comfort.

This show really is telling us that being ourselves is good enough, but we have to be honest with ourselves so we can figure out who we really are.

I HATE that Not cannot stop putting his own foot in his mouth every two seconds, but Pear pushing back against what he believes is a "straight man" is the type of reflection the show is commanding of its characters and us as the audience.

Max questioned Kawi about what is wrong with him and why he keeps pushing Pisaeng away. Kawi questioned Pisaeng about why he continues to be so nice to him. And Pear questioned Not about his ideas on masculinity and sexuality. All the questions require some level of self-reflection, which Kawi is having to do in leaps and bounds sandwiched between an abundance of knowledge.

Pear also encouraged Kawi to be honest with her.

Because the answers we seek aren't at the bottom of a bottle, but deep within ourselves.

A show that hasn't lied to us yet is leading by example - We must be honest.

Sidenotes:

Pisaeng having to basically tell Kawi to shut up and eat because Kawi is too honest about everything else except his emotions was hilarious.

Kawi jumps into the future next week and sees he's a famous musician, but I think he stays there for a bit and this is where we will get the future issues from the trailer.

Because Kawi didn't look sad when he moved the globe, so I'm hoping his dad does well in surgery which prompts Kawi to see how his life is now that his dad is alive.

But I'm worried this line will come back to haunt us.

I loved that we were shown Pisaeng changing Kawi without any sexual connotation. It's important to see this without it being implied that the gay man can't control himself. This scene was merely a man trying to help his friend.

And Pisaeng stopping the second he realized Kawi was asleep and sleeping on the chair rather than the bed were more excellent choices.

Finally, the nod to performative allyship where the mom is fine with her employees being gay but has strategically tried to keep her child in the closet is the sweet subtle commentary I live for. This is also why Pisaeng did not tell Max, a Tired Gay, that she was his mother. It would be rough to hear that she isn't as cool as presented.

Max, the best character and a Tired Gay, is gonna have to kill his idol.

(My colors theory is sticking. Pear was in a light purple, but Pisaeng was in Kawi's brown. He changed into black after kissing Kawi. Is Max blue though?)

[yakdee]

I'm sorry. I really am sorry. And I'd like to thank you too. Because what you do for me means the world to me. Are you drunk? No, I'm not … Yes, I am. But, I'm not saying it because of that. I really do want to apologize.

Fluke Gawin as PISAENG & Krist Perawat as KAWI BE MY FAVORITE (2023), dir. Waa Waasuthep Ketpetch 

[shouldiusemyname]

Some thoughts about Kawi, Sexuality, and Sex

When it comes to Kawi, ep 10 of Be My Favorite is really about his relationship with sex. Some people see him as being ace (or ace coded) but I'm not 100% sure it's the issue here.

As I read it, Kawi is an observer and not a participant, and I will try to explain what I mean.

When the show starts, we are told that Kawi has no friends. His experience is that no one wants to be his friend because he is a sad loser. However, we soon find out that the reason he doesn't have any meaningful relationships is that he himself refuses to take part in them. People around him don't see him as a sad loser, but he does. The reason that he is successful being Pear's secret buddy in that game (can't remember what they called in the show), is that he spends his time on the outside looking in. He observes the people he wants to be around as a replacement for actually engaging with them in a relationship.

He knows he did good with the game because he knows Pear and he knows he made her happy with his gifts, but he doesn't get the payoff because he is late and at that point he has to watch someone else (Pisaeng) be that image of coolness that he can't achieve. All this while being physically outside of the room looking in, observing what his life could be like.

This causes him to further retreat, understand that that's his place in society. Even his choice of profession in the original timeline - a subtitler! The ultimate observer and the safest way to engage with life - he knows what's going on, but he doesn't have to take part in it.

OK, so how does this have anything to do with sex?

Well, here is what we know so far:

At the beginning of the story, Kawi is a 30 y.o virgin.

Every moment of intimacy he has with Pisaeng up to ep 9 happens while Kawi is drunk. I say ep 9 because I'm not talking about the kissing, I'm talking about intimacy in general. Like the only times he is able to let go of his barriers and allow himself to be real with Pisaeng are when he's drunk.

In the most recent version of the future-present that we get, Kawi is no longer a 30 y.o virgin. He has spent a considerable amount of time being in a relationship with Pear and sex doesn't seem to be an issue in that relationship.

In the current present-past, Kawi is terrified at the idea of having sex (or any kind of physical intimacy) with Pisaeng. He doesn't have a problem using the word love when he talks to pisaeng's mother however. And we know that he is pursuing a romantic relationship with Pisaeng.

What I see when I look at this is that drunk Kawi has no issues with intimacy. Drunk Kawi was the one in a relationship with Pear. Drunk Kawi has no problem initiating physical intimacy with Pisaeng. Drunk Kawi has no problem actively looking for intimacy with pisaeng.

However, sober Kawi does not engage. Sober Kawi keeps a safe distance at all times from everything. Sober Kawi doesn't enjoy physical touch in general. He does feel more comfortable with Pisaeng, but up to a certain point. He will not let sober pisaeng touch him, but he does allow drunk pisaeng to be more touchy. That's because he still has control of the situation when he is the sober one.

If I'm reading this correctly, Kawi is so afraid of intimacy that he becomes intimacy starved. He spends years actively avoiding and actively staying at his observer position, that when the time comes to actually participate, he is at war with his instincts. I think he wants to stay at "holding hands in bed" because it's safe. This way he gets to engage without actually taking part. Even the park date - it's enough to just be there. He doesn't need to take part and go on the rides. He is there to watch everyone else do what they're supposed to do at an amusement park. He is in his observer position. He is safe.

Another issue with people who are intimacy and touch starved, is that they become afraid that once they have it it's going to be too much for them to take and they won't be able to contain it. They are also afraid the other person is not going to be able to contain and provide what they need because it's too much. As a result, they take an additional step back just to be on the safe side, creating even more distance between them and the person they want to be intimate with.

I get why Max's advice feels off for many, but for me there are two points he makes that make sense in this:

he says to Kawi that holding hands is fine as long as both him and Pisaeng are fine with it. And I think that what he's trying to tell Kawi is that he is not alone anymore looking from the sidelines. He is inside, in this relationship, and he has no choice but to be an active participant.

He tells Kawi that having sex will help him know himself better. This is terrifying for Kawi and it shows in his face. One of the main things observers are proud of, is the fact that they are always prepared because they never go in blind. They take the time to observe the people that they want to engage with, they learn how they react and adjust themselves to the situation. If they don't know how to adjust, they keep away. Having sex means going into uncharted territory, losing control, and having someone else to experience that with you. Kawi has no way of observing that specific situation (of himself having sex with Pisaeng) beforehand to help him prepare and find a way to make it safe for himself to engage and take part. Meaning making sure he's not too much for Pisaeng and that he can be there for Pisaeng (much like he could be there for Pear during the secret buddy game). He HAS to go in blind and it's going to require a huge leap of faith on his side.

If you've gotten this far, I appreciate it and I hope this makes sense to you. Feel free to let me know what you think.

[becomingabeing]

Pisaeng's Kawi-is-about-to-kiss-me face and his frowning eyebrows of pain while they're kissing make me think Kawi getting drunk and kissing Pisaeng is a regular thing in this timeline.

[yousaygoodbyeandisay]

Kawi saying he feels unsafe around Pisaeng is devastating, but I will give credit to the director for making Pisaeng very aggressive during his drunk confession in the future. It's not that he just kissed Kawi, but he grabbed him and shook him around, demanding to know if Kawi felt anything for the last 10 years. It was aggressive, especially considering that Kawi had no idea what was going on.

Was Kawi brutal and saying the wrong things in the wrong ways? Yes. But the confession in the future was made in a way that it does make sense for Kawi to feel overwhelmed and unsettled.