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artificialqueens · 5 years

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How Far I'll Go Chapter 5 (Ninex) - Mia Ugly, Meggie

A/N: Previously: Nina and Cracker resolved their tension, though Cracker appears to know more than she’s letting on. The queens were grouped in threes to recreate some classic sapphic films, and Nina isn’t feeling great about his team’s performance. Meanwhile, Monet helps Nina calm his nerves.

To come: the runway, the reckoning, a flashback. And a musical number. Of course.

(Thank you to everyone who has been reading/commenting on this. Your enthusiasm is means more than we can say, and we’re so grateful.)

Here is the link for the song in this chapter, in case you want to sing along at home!

Chapter 5: I bet you’ve got secrets too

Nina wakes up and is still on Drag Race.

(Will the same thing be true tomorrow morning? Don’t think about that right now.)

He showers, gets dressed, heads down to breakfast. As he’s waiting for the elevator he tries not to fidget too much, not to start biting his nails or tugging at the buttons on his cuff. He’s already vibrating with anxiety and the day hasn’t even started yet. Breathe, girl (but then that just makes him think about Monét, their shared breath yesterday in the Werk Room, the warmth of Monét’s hands against his. In, out. Goddamn if Nina isn’t going to remember Monét’s voice all low and calm like that, or their eyes locked together, for maybe probably the rest of his life).

The elevator dings as it opens, and - Jesus Christ.

This time Nina recognizes the gasping couple immediately.

“What—and I cannot stress this enough—the fuck, you guys?”

Brooke and Vanjie immediately pull away from each other. Nina turns his back. He doesn’t want to see them, doesn’t need to have this conversation. If either of them think that he’s going to spend the rest of the day talking them down from whatever lovelorn panic spiral they end up in, well - they’re wrong. That’s what they are.

So much for “it won’t happen again” and “we’re done” and all of that. Nina should’ve known better. He’s heard the speech from both of them before, after all, and look where it’s left them. (Not to belabour a point, but it’s left them here, on All Stars, making out in elevators and then pretending that anyone is fooled.)

When he gets to the conference room, the mentors have already left. Nina - tries not to feel too disappointed. It just means he probably won’t see Monét until tonight on the runway (even then, it will only be from a distance.)

Maybe that’s for the best. Nina could use a bit of distance.

After that dream last night, Monét’s been in his head all morning, and Nina’s got to be stronger than this (put it aside, right? Give it up, throw it away. Do something else with these feelings, anything except - feel them).

He sits with Asia for breakfast, ignoring Brooke and Vanjie as they go off to separate corners of the room, neither of them speaking to each other (both of them avoiding eye contact with Nina. Thank God for that).

“I think we were okay,” Asia tells him about her scene. “Like, we got it the hell together. But those two…” She raises an eyebrow, no more clarification needed. “They gotta figure out their shit. They still fucking?”

“I - have no idea.” Nina likes Asia, trusts her, but - he really doesn’t know how to answer that question. Given the situation in the elevator this morning. And yesterday morning. And - you know, probably most mornings (nights, afternoons) since they damn well broke up.

“Did you know Trixie’s man split with her?” Asia asks the question like she’s asking Nina if he knows what the weather’s going to be like. “Vanjie told me. I guess Miss Mattel was all up in her feelings yesterday.”

“Really?” Nina’s genuinely surprised. From the vibes that Trixie gave off on social media, he thought her boyfriend was kind of a - sure thing. Jesus, what was his name? Well, Nina knew at one point, and Trixie had been writing songs about him and - it’s all unexpected. Though of course Nina doesn’t know her as a person at all, really. Just knows her as Trixie Mattel, All Star and business mogul and celebrity shit-talker.

“The tea is that it’s because of some pics with Katya, you know.”

“I… don’t.”

“Like romantic photos. Nothing - I’m not talking dick pics, honey. Just some shit from a show or something, you know how they are. All touchy, cuddly. Anyway, I don’t have the details or anything. Just what Miss Vanjie was spilling.”

Nina thinks back to Trixie Mattel’s awkwardness from their time on set yesterday. The way she flinched when they brought up Katya. Jesus - no, no. He’s not going to take on anyone else’s drama right now. Ru Paul’s Best Friends Race? More like Ru Paul’s Messy High School Soap Opera.

Nina’s shaky and anxious for most of the day, despite his best efforts. He tries to keep a brave face on, tries to convince himself he’s got nothing to worry about. His Lavender Menace runway look is one of his favourites: a super-cinched mermaid silhouette that drips with pale purple beads and holographic paillettes. He feels like a futuristic Barbra Streisand in “Hello Dolly!” and can’t wait for the judges to see it.

He and Brooke paint next to each other at the mirror, a bit quieter than usual (Nina is not going to ask, is not going to give in to the Branjie drama du jour.) There’s always been a calm that surrounds Nina while he paints so he relaxes into it. He knows this part, understands it, trusts his hands with the brushes even if he doesn’t completely trust his body on the runway (or trust his sisters with their votes). He relies on muscle memory and an arsenal of information gleaned from the countless queens with whom he’s worked over the years. Makeup he’s confident in. Makeup is what he can put his hands all over and make his own. If he has nothing else, he has his face (and fully made up, with the right shade of lipstick and just the right wig, Nina feels almost pretty. Close enough that with a couple drinks in, you might not know the difference).

Today he’s chosen a deep plum eye flecked with holographic glitter. It’s a lot, it’s over the top, it’s very Nina West, which is exactly what he’s here to show them. Too much of himself got lost in Season 11 and that can’t - won’t- happen again. His glitter might exactly match the paillettes on his dress. He might have planned that. His purple eyeshadow might also match Monét’s purple lipstick from the finale night (that, he didn’t plan. Honest.)

After he makes the connection, though, it’s almost all he can think about, which is not a good thing. He should be focusing on the competition. On turning it out on this runway. On trying to ignore the feeling that it could be his last one.

A couple of innocuous conversations about the “inner saboteur” happen while they’re all painting together, but the producers are looking for that hook, so - of course it’s only a matter of time before they convince someone (in this case Ivy, who probably didn’t realize it was a trap) to ask the inevitable question.

“Brooke and Vanjie. What was it like being on the same team again? Like playing a couple after - you know, everything?”

Nina stiffens, knows that this question is going to fuck with Brooke and Vanjie’s heads. The two of them look over at each other and then away, before Nina forces himself to focus on his own reflection in the mirror. He packs more plum eyeshadow on his brush, taps it carefully on his eyelid, pretends he isn’t listening. (Of course he’s listening. They’re all listening.)

“It’s fine, girl,” Vanjie says, trying desperately to sound nonchalant. “Makes it more realistic, don’t it? Plus that shit is ancient history. Like, back when there were dinosaurs and shit.”

“Is it awkward though?” Shea asks. “Being on the same season again?”

“No,” Brooke says a beat too late, a note too high. Nina winces at the sound, then hopes that none of the cameras caught that. The last thing he wants to do in his talking-head tonight is answer questions about Branjie. “I mean, we stayed friends, stayed really close—”

“Oh yeah, real close.” Vanessa snorts, runs his tongue across his teeth, stares down at the bottle of foundation on his table. The Werk Room falls silent. Brooke’s hand pauses, mascara wand poised above his right eye, waiting for the bomb to drop, waiting for Vanessa’s next move.

Nina’s waiting too.

But Vanjie just releases a deep breath and clicks his tongue. “Yeah, we cool. We did what we did in the scene, now we just gotta wait. But baby, it’s gonna be all fine.”

* * *

It’s anything but all fine, as it turns out.

The runway is one thing. Clearly Brooke looks gorgeous in purple (Nina isn’t blind). Vanjie goes unexpectedly high-fashion in an asymmetrical gown patterned with lilacs, lilacs also forming a crown atop her white-blonde wig—a May Queen, a Midsummer Night’s dream. Nina feels like a bag of money in his dress, and if he searches for Monét’s approving gaze from the audience, well - it doesn’t have to mean anything. It doesn’t mean anything. Nina uses this ache for fuel, stomps the runway like maybe, maybe, maybe he’s winning Monét over. Like he’s cool and sexy and mysterious, like he could be the kind of person someone like Monét would fall for.

He lets that fantasy carry him as he flirts with the judges, spins at centre stage, and leaves the runway walking on air (he’s done what he can, let’s hope it’s enough).

When they’re all called back to watch the films and listen to the judges’ critiques, Nina’s fantasy starts to fade.

Shea, Nina Bo’nina, and Ivy slay (as Nina completely expected). The three of them look gorgeous (Shea’s purple dress has a bustle and train that nearly stretches the length of the runway, it’s dramatic as hell and the judges are living). Their scene is weird and glamorous and perfect: Shea as Carol, Ivy as Therese, and Nina Bo’nina as the surprise jealous ex-girlfriend have Ru almost crying with laughter. There’s no doubt that they’re going to be in the top tonight - or at least two of them will.

Brooke and Vanjie, well… Being bad at acting is one thing, but Nina can’t for the life of him figure out how they’re so bad at playing a couple when they’ve literally been doing it since their break up last fall. If only Aileen Wuornos had an Instagram, Nina thinks bitterly, they’d be fucking set.

The looks are on point, and Asia is a lone bright star as an evil police officer, but Brooke and Vanjie are kind of a mess. Nina doesn’t know how to feel about it—it’s hard to feel anything when he’s still waiting for his own scene to play.

And then it does.

Blair reaches over and takes hold of Nina’s hand as the clip rolls, and it is - not great.

Not awful - but definitely not great.

Nina gets a couple good laughs, and Cracker looks the part, but Michelle was right - they are stiff, and they don’t look like they’re having fun. Blair in particular looks terrified on-screen (and Nina can feel Blair’s hand tightening against his as the scene unfolds).

When it ends, Nina tries to smile graciously but he knows it falls flat. On the other side of Blair, Cracker stares down at the runway.

Ross claps enthusiastically, but Ru and Michelle applaud more out of polite tradition. And that’s when Nina knows that they’re fucked.

“Ladies,” Ru says after a short deliberation break where Nina desperately tries to hold Blair together without falling apart himself. “What an - interesting approach to this week’s challenge. Here’s some advice: stop letting personal matters get in the way of your success.”

Nina gulps.

“That said, let’s move on to the judges’ critiques.”

They love Shea (of course). Ivy’s dress isn’t their favorite silhouette, but they commend her on the flawless construction and the bold use of lavender and grey plaid wrapping paper (that queen is something else). The other Nina has painted her entire body purple and green as a living, breathing representation of a lavender plant and the judges are interested if not completely sold. Either way, Nina hasn’t heard enough negative critiques to feel safe.

Brooke is next. The judges fawn over his form-fitting fully-stoned pageant gown, the pale color of the fabric accentuating the creamy undertone of his skin. Michelle especially loves that he’s wearing a deep auburn wig, says it changes his entire aesthetic and is the perfect balance to the rest of the look.

“But I see we still haven’t taken any acting classes,” she continues carefully.

Brooke purses his lips. “I actually did, I just—” He sighs. “It was a rough week for me.”

Michelle nods, narrows her eyes, and then surprisingly - drops it? She doesn’t listen to excuses from anyone, but for some reason she doesn’t go right for Brooke’s throat this week. Nina suspects she knows exactly what (or who?) Brooke is referring to. Michelle usually does.

Asia’s electric purple feathers are another judges’ favorite, and she’s complimented by both Michelle and Ross for being the saving grace of an otherwise dim performance.

Nina can see Vanjie crumbling with nerves, but the smile he pastes on when Ru says his name is radiant, could light up Columbus in a pinch. If Vanjie just knew how to channel that control into challenges - Nina forces himself to listen.

“First of all, you look flawless. This is not your Season 10 or Season 11 Miss Vanjie. You are stepping up, girl.” Michelle smiles, and Vanjie’s face could now light the entire state of Ohio.

“But I’d like to know who made the decision that you and Brooke would play the main couple?” Ross asks.

Blackout. Vanessa’s mouth falls open. “I- We- It was a group decision.”

“We thought it made the most sense,” Brooke supplies weakly, “seeing as how we have a history.”

Michelle nods. “I get it, but it just didn’t work.” She looks at Asia. “What did you have to say about all that?”

Asia shakes her head. “I trusted my sisters. They said they could handle it and I believed them. You can’t fake the kind of chemistry that Vanjie and Brooke have. I just wish it had translated better.”

“Mmm,” Michelle agrees. “Or at all.”

“You didn’t think maybe it would be too much like art imitating life?” Ru asks, gesturing between Brooke and Vanessa, who are both looking anywhere but at each other. “Ex-lovers playing lovers? That’s…” He chuckles, but there’s little joy behind it. It’s cold, even for Ru. “That’s playing with fire, kids.”

“I wouldn’t even have cared if it worked,” Ross says gently. “Play with all the fire you want, burn the stage down, but give us something.”

“Ross will be hearing from our union representative. Thank you ladies.” When Ru glances over at Nina, the corners of his mouth tick upwards, but only slightly. “Nina West.”

“First of all…” Michelle kisses her fingers like a chef. “This gown? Gorgeous. Hair, perfection. You look stun-ning. But that performance, girl…”

Nina nods. “I know.”

“Last season, every acting challenge you were high-larious. What happened?”

“There’s been a lot going on -” Stay vague, sis. Don’t be the one who throws people under the bus. You just fixed whatever was broken between you and Cracker. “I don’t think I’m settled in yet.”

“Settled in,” Michelle repeats blankly. “How many episodes of All Stars do you think you should get to settle in?”

“Oh, I didn’t mean -”

“You looked pretty settled in when you almost won last week,” Ross says.

“This is the best of the best,” Ru says, eyeing Nina. “What you brought last week was what we want, what you have on tonight is what we want, but all of you girls need to figure out whatever these personal issues are because I don’t have time for them. This is not - and I repeat, not RuPaul’s Best Friends Race.”

Nina nods. What else can he do? He tells himself not to look at Monét, not to see how he’s taking this - but Nina’s eyes immediately betray him. Monét’s perfect pink lips are pressed tight together (and, Christ, he’s even prettier than Brooke is in purple) and his hands are gripping the armrests of his folding directors’ seat.

Monét’s worried. Shit.

The judges move on to Miz Cracker, who looks like a purple technicolor acid trip of Alice in Wonderland. It’s Nina’s favorite thing on the runway, if he’s being honest.

Michelle peers over the top of her glasses. “Can you guess what I’m going to say?”

“I look damn good, but why the fuck wasn’t I funny?” Cracker deadpans. “Yeah, I don’t have an excuse. There obviously was some tension between Nina and myself, I take responsibility for that, but I apologized and we worked through it. It’s not going to be an issue anymore.” She offers her hand to Nina, who takes it and squeezes gently.

Ross shuffles his cards. “You looked amazing in the film, though. It was cast quite well.”

“Thank you. Blair and I switched roles last minute, so that’s comforting to hear.”

Ru nods, seemingly satisfied, and turns his attention to the third member of their group. “Well, I do declare!”

Blair has gone full Scarlett O’Hara realness for this runway, hoop skirt and all, and Nina and Cracker are at least five feet away from her out of necessity. The lilac taffeta falls in tiers from her fitted bodice and cinched waist. Blair’s hands are folded daintily, the white lace gloves accentuating how tiny her hands actually are. If Vivienne Leigh had a 19-inch waist, Blair’s can’t be a centimeter over 19 and a half.

Blair is smiling, but it’s porcelain, like the slightest jolt will shatter her.

“Blair St. Clair!” Ross starts with a big smile. “Is that really you in there?”

Blair does a cute little curtsy, bending as much as she possibly can in that corset.

“I love it, I love it, I love it,” Ross says. “That dress! I feel like I’m getting the vapours just looking at you, I need a fan.”

Blair—shockingly enough—has a pale violet fan hanging off her hip, almost completely hidden by ruffles. She pulls it off (“Catch!”) and tosses it toward the judges’ table while Ross claps in delight. (The fan goes pretty off course, hitting the edge of the table and ricocheting toward the ground in front of the stage. A crew member grabs it and brings it to Ross who fans himself dramatically.)

“What else is hidden in those ruffles?” Ru quips.

“A lady never tells,” Blair laughs softly.

“So yes - you look the part,” Michelle says, bringing them back on track. “But Blair. Honey. What was going on in that scene?”

The smile drains from Blair’s face.

“You showed up on set looking terrified. When I watched the scene tonight, that’s what came across the most for me. That fear.”

Blair nods. Her shoulders start to sag.

“You’re an actor. We know you can act. Do you know you can act?” Ru asks.

“Yes.” Blair doesn’t sound confident. “I just - got in my head this challenge. And then we switched roles—”

“So whose idea was that?” Ru interrupts.

Blair’s lips part. Nina has this horrible thought that Blair might say it was his idea, like an act of sabotage or something - when really, he was just trying to help. He really, really didn’t want to throw Blair off her game—

“It was mine,” Blair says. Nina exhales silently. “I thought it’d be better for the whole team, but I don’t know if it worked out that way. I think it shook me. I’m sorry.”

“You still look terrified,” Michelle says. “You’re clearly gorgeous, clearly talented. I want you to see that too, Blair.”

“I do. Or I thought I did, I guess I’ve still got some - work to do.”

“Thank you, Blair.” Ru’s voice is gentle. “Based on the judges’ critiques, I think we all know there was a clear winning team this week.” He pauses for effect, looks between them before settling his gaze on the three queens closest to the judges’ panel. “Shea Coulee, Ivy Winters, Nina Bo’nina Brown - condragulations! You are the winning team. But two of you really proved to us that Ru is the warmest colour… Shea Coulee. Ivy Winters: you are the top two All Stars of the week.”

Ivy cheers and hugs Shea, the two of them spinning briefly in place. Nina’s heart is fully in his throat, he may not be able to breathe soon.

“You’ve each won a $2,500 gift card to Wigs and Grace and a $1,000 gift card to Coolhaus Ice Cream.” Shea and Ivy embrace again, a little less excited by their ice cream prize.

Ru continues, “Nina Bo’nina Brown, you are safe. Team Vanessa Vanjie Mateo: ladies, you are all safe.”

Blair flinches besides him, and Cracker doesn’t even blink. She was clearly steeling herself for this moment. Nina wishes he had. There was just some stupid optimistic part of his brain that couldn’t even go there, that thought they had a chance—

“That means Team Nina West: I’m sorry my dears, but all three of you will be up for elimination. Shea and Ivy: each one of you needs to decide which of the bottom queens you will eliminate if you win the lipsync.”

Okay. Okay. It happened. Just - keep it together, don’t think about last season, don’t think about the moment they told you you weren’tgoodenoughtoSTAY—

Nina looks up briefly from his super-fun shame-spiral and catches Vanjie’s eye down the runway. The sweet thing gives him a wince of empathy, and Nina winces back.

“While you deliberate backstage,” Ru continues, “the judges and I will… learn macramé.”

The safe queens laugh, but Nina is wobbly on his heels, moving on autopilot to the backstage lounge. His brain doesn’t start working until he’s sitting on the couch with a cocktail in his hand, Blair and Cracker wedged beside him.

Brooke has disappeared (for a cigarette probably) and Vanjie is off somewhere talking to Asia, rolling her eyes and bobbing her head, clearly pissed off.

“Yay…” Cracker says dryly, “I blame the lesbians for this. Control your children, Brooke Lynn.” She tacks on that last part loudly, like if she yells enough, Brooke will hear her wherever he is.

“Girl, they’d probably enjoy that too much,” Shea says with a smirk, and Nina laughs (even though there is glass in his mouth). He feels mostly okay about his chances of staying. He does have a win to his name after all, and Cracker was safe last week. But Blair… Well, she’s crying silently, furtively wiping away tears. They can all see the lipstick writing on the mirror (it might be in Blair’s handwriting).

“Do any of you—” Ivy begins, before Shea stops her with a hand on her arm.

“I’d like to talk to Ivy, actually. Other than that, I’m good. Unless any of y’all really want to - you know, make a speech or something.”

So that’s how it’s going to be. Nina has a speech running through his head, his track record on the show, his win last week - but he’s surprised by Blair shaking her head ‘no.’ Cracker looks over sharply at that, hesitates - and then shrugs.

“I can cry real tears if you need me to,” she says to Shea. “But if you’re good, I’m good.”

Both Shea and Ivy look at Nina.

“I mean…” He shrugs. “You guys are in charge.”

“Great!” Shea says and grabs Ivy’s arm before pulling her to the back of the room, where they lower their heads and begin to speak quietly.

Blair sniffs and dabs at her eyes. “I didn’t need to talk to them. What’s the point, you know? But I would like to talk to the two of you… if… I could.” Then she’s fully crying. “I just need a minute.”

Nina puts his arm around her, pets her hair while she breathes. It’s probably a moot point; it’s still early, but they all know how this works.

Miz Cracker sits next to Blair, lacing and unlacing her fingers, not looking at either one of them. Until she does.

“I’m really sorry,” Cracker says, holding Nina’s gaze over Blair’s head

Nina shakes her head. “We’re good, I told you.”

“Yeah, but…” She sighs. “What Ru said about personal bullshit getting in the way… That was all me. I was angry with you when I shouldn’t have been and now we’re in the bottom—”

Blair raises her head and looks both of them over with swollen, red eyes.

“—and it’s really my fault. And fucking Monét’s—”

Her diatribe stops and she looks wide-eyed at Nina, who is still holding Blair’s hand, rubbing soft circles through the white lace glove that adorns it.

“Can I ask you…” Nina pauses. “What, um, exactly was Monét supposed to tell me?”

Miz Cracker shakes her head, trademark blonde curls bouncing across her shoulders. “No. I’m not touching it anymore. I can’t. If that idiot has something to say to you, he’ll say it on his own time.” She decisively smooths an invisible wrinkle from the front of her purple tea-length gown and folds her hands in her lap. But Nina notices that her thumbs never stop twitching.

“No matter what happens, I hope—” Blair clears her throat and takes in a deep breath, which she releases as a shaky sigh.

Nina shakes his head. “Blair, you don’t—”

“Wait, wait. Just listen.”

Both Nina and Cracker shut up and look at her.

“It’s going to be me. We know that.”

“Blair—” Cracker tries again.

“I was in the bottom last week. We know. Okay? We know.” Her bottom lip trembles but she straightens her shoulders, nods decisively. “I just want to say, you were great teammates. Like really, really - nice.��

Now Nina thinks he might start crying. No. NO. Keep it together.

“And I really like working with you.” Blair smiles sweetly. “Miz Cracker, you’re so funny, and I’ve looked up to you for so long. I can’t believe I got to work with you again.”

“Blair—” Cracker starts, but her voice breaks.

“Nina, you’ve taken such good care of me this whole time. You really looked out for my feelings, and you were so sweet.” Blair squeezes Nina’s hand. “And I just really hope everything works out for you and Monét.”

Nina chokes a bit. But so does Cracker (great, they’re more in sync now than they were during the challenge).

“Sorry, what?”

“Oh, are you two - not -” Blair blinks her eyelashes, looking at Nina in shock.

“No, nope, we’re not,” Nina says quickly. “Nothing - happening there. No ma’am.”

Blair watches him for a moment, and then narrows her eyes. “Really?”

“Yes, really!” What is even happening? Vanjie and Brooke are the bad actors, Nina is Oscar-caliber. Is he losing his touch? Or is it just where Monét is concerned (and God, wouldn’t that be a nightmare)?

“Okay. Just - I thought. You know, from this whole conversation. And the way he looks at you.”

Cracker makes another choking sound, and Blair snaps her mouth shut.

“Never mind. I must have - gotten confused. Sorry. Forget anything I said.”

“Except for when you said how great we are,” Cracker amends, pulling Blair into a hug. “You can’t take that back. I need this.”

Nina is grateful that Cracker always seems to be able to make Blair smile, and Team Cheerleader hugs it out. Moments later, Ivy and Shea come back from whatever corner they were hiding in, each of them looking grim. Before they’re all led back onto the mainstage, Vanjie grabs Nina and squeezes his hand.

“It ain’t gonna be you, girl. Keep it on-lock, you’ll be fine.”

The other queens have similarly encouraging things to say to Cracker and Blair, and Brooke even goes in for a hug before the crew comes to get them. Then they’re on stage again, lights so bright they’re making Nina feel dazed.

Don’t look at the mentors, he tells himself, and this time he listens. He’s too embarrassed - can’t possibly think about meeting Monét’s eye right now. (Here I am, totally fucked and on the verge of going home. Still glad you picked me?)

“Welcome back,” Ru says as the lights flash. “Two top All Stars stand before me. Ladies, this is your chance to impress me, win ten-thousand dollars, and earn the power to give one of the bottom queens the chop. The time has come for you to lip-sync. For. Your. Legacy.”

And for my life, Nina thinks to himself. Oh God, he should have poured his heart out to Shea and Ivy, should have told them how much he wanted this, should have—

“Good luck. And don’t fuck it up.”

The opening beats of the Eurythmics’ “Sisters Are Doin’ It for Themselves” start and Shea immediately starts ripping off the train of her dress. The queens around Nina lose their minds. Ivy got changed into a spangly cocktail dress for the lip-sync, but Shea kept her original gown - except now it’s been turned into a sexy purple bathing suit, and she looks stunning. Nina can’t say he’s in the headspace to pay much attention to anything that’s happening on stage, but the other queens and the judges seem to be cheering with every move Shea makes. Ivy’s classy and quirky but she isn’t the dancer that Shea is. She can’t command a stage in the same way.

Nina focuses on breathing. Focuses on not falling over. Stares at the crumpled heap of Shea’s train, purple fabric stretching down the runway, while somewhere in the background Ru cheers with delight.

This can’t be the end. Not yet. Not yet.

Nina blinks and somehow the lip-sync is already done. As the music fades, he feels Blair’s hand slide into his. He forces himself to stay present, pay attention.

“Ladies, I have made a decision,” Ru says as Ivy and Shea catch their breath, both of them looking hopeful. “Shea Coulee, you’re a winner baby. You’ve earned a cash tip of ten thousand dollars. That means that Chad Michaels - you’re also a winner. You’ve won a cash tip of five thousand dollars.”

There’s some cheering from the mentors, but Nina barely hears it over his pounding heart.

“Ivy Winters, you are safe. You may join the other girls. Will the bottom three queens please step forward?”

Nina walks forward in a daze, Blair’s hand still held tightly in his. After a moment at centre stage, Cracker reaches down and takes his other hand.

“Shea Coulee. With great power comes great responsibility. Which queen have you chosen to get the chop?”

Shea sighs, but doesn’t draw it out more than she has to. “I love this queen and this ain’t personal. I made this decision based on past performances, so I’m sorry, I gotta go with Blair.”

She takes Blair’s lipstick out of her neckline. Nina hears Blair take a deep breath beside her.

“Blair St. Clair,” Ru smiles sadly, “as it is written, so it shall be done. You are and always will be an All Star. Now sashay away.”

Blair straightens her shoulders. She looks up and smiles brightly. She seems to Nina the most confident and beautiful she’s been since they first started filming.

“Thank you so much for another opportunity to show you and the world who I am. I’m going to keep growing and getting better, and I’m going to make you so proud of me.”

Ru nods, Michelle smiles, and Ross might wipe away a tear, but Blair’s eyes are dry as she hugs Nina and Cracker, then turns and walks down the runway.

She pauses before leaving and strikes a dramatic pose. “With God as my witness, I’ll never be eliminated from Drag Race again!”

Everyone laughs, genuinely laughs, because Blair is funny when she can relax and be herself. Nina’s hands are shaking as Cracker slides over and wraps her arms around his waist.

Safe safe safe safe safe.

“Con-drag-ulations, All Stars,” Ru says cheerfully from the judges’ panel. “And, remember: if you can’t love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else? Can I get an amen? Now let the music play!”

Nina is dancing but his heart is pounding as loudly as the music. Relief is making him dizzy and the flashing lights aren’t helping matters. Cracker hugs him again and he’s so damn grateful for that, just to have someone anchor him to the earth for a moment. He knows the mentors are probably coming up on stage, but he doesn’t see Monét in the crush of queens around him. It’s fine. It’s good. He’s in no fit state to try to impress anyone right now.

Nina’s one of the first to leave the runway, and he knows he’s got to go get changed, get ready for his talking head interview (which is going to be - let’s not kid ourselves - intense after this elimination), but he still finds the first quiet spot that he can, ducks behind one of those tall tool boxes full of set pieces or cords or something and just lets himself shake. Fuck, fuck, fuck. He’s here, he’s here, he’s got to calm down—

“Nina? Girl, hey now—”

Nina looks up (even though he doesn’t need to, would know, has known that voice in the dark) as Monét comes closer to him, eyes full of concern.

“I saw you tear off that stage, knew you were feeling some kinda way. And if you want to feel your feelings by yourself, if you need a minute, I get it. But listen - you’re still here. Okay? It was awful, but it’s one challenge, and you’re still here.”

Nina nods, but he can’t stop having flashbacks to Season 11, can’t stop remembering the depth of the hurt and disappointment when he was sent home. He feels like his heart is already in shards just from anticipation, and it’s hard to remind himself that it’s actually still intact. He’s still here.

“I know. I know. I’m sorry–” Nina tries to catch his breath, tries to keep the tears in his eyes from falling. This version of himself is the last thing he wants Monét to see.

“What are you apologizing for?”

“Because I’m on your team, and - this challenge should have been easy for me, for us—”

“Nina West.” Monet’s got his serious face on, something Nina hasn’t seen much of yet. “This mentor shit don’t mean anything to me, okay? You think I need twenty-five K so bad? Nah, girl - with this voice? With this ass? Nah.”

Nina feels a laugh rising tightly in his chest. Monét deserves a fucking medal for trying to make him feel better.

“Don’t worry none about me. Jesus. You put this challenge behind you for yourself. You move forward and win this crown for yourself.”

“Bet you say that to all the girls.”

“I don’t.” Monét’s voice goes a bit too loud, and he stiffens as they both realize it. His eyes are on Nina’s, and Nina realizes he’s holding his breath. This - what is -

Monét exhales a weak laugh and Nina feels the ghost of it against his lips. “Shit. I mean - I’m allowed to have favourites, right?”

It’s so sweet and ridiculous that Nina’s face breaks into a smile, and as he does he feels the slow slide of a tear down his cheek. Wonderful. Fantastic. Could he be more pathetic?

Then Monét is reaching out, wiping the tear away with the soft pad of his thumb.

“Hey, now. No crying, Jean Grey.” Monét’s voice shakes, and he doesn’t drop his hand. His fingers stroke gently along Nina’s jaw, angling his face up and into the dim light. Studying it like it’s a priceless piece of art.

Nina feels - something strange happening in his stomach. Like he might be sick. Or maybe can’t breathe? It’s tough to say, so he says nothing - just stares at Monét and tries to keep his heart beating (but at least if he drops dead now, his face will still be warm from Monet’s hands. If he dies, he’ll still have had someone look at him, just for a moment, like he was a masterpiece).

Monét’s mouth opens, and Nina’s eyes drop briefly down to his lips. His lips are something else, just - devastating.

They should kiss, maybe. That would be - would be okay.

Even if Nina ruined everything after the finale, maybe - maybe Monét would still want to kiss him (Nina remembers the taste of his mouth, remembers how soft it was, how desperate it made him feel, pressing kisses against his neck, chest, hip—)

That’s when a couple of electrics coming stomping through, hauling lights.

Nina flinches. Monét drops his hand. Steps back.

Nina tells his heart - in very strong words - not to punch its way out of his chest.

“I’m - uh - anyway. You gonna be good?”

“Sure,” Nina says, still trying to remember why breathing is important. Was that - something? Had that been something? Or was he just -

“And I’m sorry about Cracks.” Monét keeps talking, shuffling awkwardly from one foot to the other. “It’s kinda my fault that - she was all in her feelings.”

“Oh. Really, it’s okay, we talked it over. I think we’re cool.”

“Shit, thank God. I was worried that she was gonna be like this for the rest of the season. Couldn’t resist the Nina West charm, right?”

“Actually –” Nina’s mind skips carefully over the ‘Nina West charm’ bit. There are some things he cannot survive. “She said this thing - you should probably know about it - I think she might be angry at you now?”

Monét looks carefully blank. “Really.”

“She seemed - when we talked about it - upset about something you didn’t do? Or didn’t say, actually. She said she thought you were going to tell me something.”

Monét makes a soft noise from deep in his throat, like a ‘huh’ sort of sound but if you were also choking.

“Are you okay?”

“Oh. Yeah. Doing real good.”

Nina doesn’t need to say anything else, and he doesn’t really want to know - but he also kind of wants to know (he also still kind of wants Monét to kiss him, to touch his jaw again and lean forward and just—)

He clears his throat. Don’t think about kissing. “What were you supposed to tell me?”

“Oh, I—” Monét hesitates. Just for a second. But Nina notices. Then Monét smiles, radiant and white (and just off enough to clock the flaw). “I have no idea. But I’m sure that bitch will have no problem sounding off at me about it.”

“Yeah, okay.” Nina isn’t going to push. Not right now.

“Well, maybe I gotta go do some damage control,” Monét says with a laugh that sounds brittle. “Congrats on making it through another episode, Nina West. Always knew you would. One step closer to that finale, right?”

“Right.” Nina forces himself to breathe, to smile, to watch Monét walk away.

It seems to Nina that as Monét walks down the hallway, he’s almost walking to a beat. As if there’s low music playing in the background, like the strumming of some stringed instrument. Nina can almost hear it.

“Was that a moment?” Nina murmurs to himself, and then - no. No. Oh shit, he’s singing.

“Did we have a moment?

Was that a moment right there?

Or am I overthinking everything,

Always in my head

But that felt like a moment

With your hand on my skin.

If I could only speak

I’d ask you what it meant.”

Monét doesn’t turn around, doesn’t hear him (thank God) because Nina can’t stop the words that are coming out of his mouth.

“And I don’t know why I can’t just say what’s on my mind.

And I don’t know why I can’t just ask you what you’d like.

It seems as if we talk so much but never even speak.

And all we have are pleasantries

The hi, how are you’s, I can’t breathe

With all this silence rising like the sea.”

He stops. Takes a breath. He can still hear music.

“But that felt like a moment,

An honest moment just then

It felt like something real, maybe

A little more than friends.

Did we have a moment

When you touched me like that?

I’ll press it between pages

And then play it, play it back.

And I don’t know what you’d do if I said

How I feel.

Maybe you would laugh at me

Say none of it was real.

Or maybe you’d be kind

Oh God, the worst thing you could be

With all these little tragedies

The walls I’ve built in front of me

Are falling to the ground now

Just like leaves.”

The chords swell just like the rate of Nina’s pulse when Monét touched his face.

“But was that a moment?

It felt like a moment to me.”

Music crashes like waves, builds like a barricade, and Nina holds his breath against the weight of it.

“Was that a moment?

Could it ever be?”

Then he pauses. What do you do in this situation, what do you say? Do you make the first move, risk your dignity? Or do you convince yourself that it’s just in your head? (He thinks and thinks and overthinks before the song continues.)

“That wasn’t a moment.

Okay, fine, we touched

But you’re like that with everyone

You’re lovely and beloved

That wasn’t a moment.

Please don’t let me fall.”

Nina breathes between his clenched teeth before he sings the final line:

“That was nothing at all.”

The music fades out, giving Nina just enough time to wonder if he should seek professional help before Monét is walking quickly back towards him. Nina can’t move, can only stare in shock. Monét probably didn’t - hear any of that, right? That was just another one of Nina’s weird musical fantasies that started up when he got that All Stars call (he really should probably talk to someone about that, to be honest.)

“I almost forgot,” Monét says under his breath (while Nina tries not to get too distracted by the way his lips form the words), “ and you didn’t hear this from me. But, girl, you better make sure that wig’s taped down for the next challenge.”

Nina lifts his hands to his hair - it’s fine, it hasn’t shifted at all.

“What?”

“From what I hear, it might get snatched.” Monét winks before he walks away again, and Nina - oh.

Shit.

It’s time for the Snatch Game.

* * *

Interlude: Monét, finale night

“So like - girl. Okay. So.”

Monét runs his hand over his bald head, desperate for something to do with his hands. His face is done but he hasn’t put his wig on yet, is waiting for the last possible minute (this one bugs him, and he really should get rid of it, but it was stupid expensive and he’s still kinda wearing it out of spite).

Anyway.

“So this might sound funny. You might think this is crazy - shit.”

He swallows. Breathes, and tries again.

“I’m gonna sound like a stalker, maybe - but - ”

“Oh. My. Jesus.” There’s a pounding on the bathroom door and Cracker’s voice echoes in the room. “Your phone is out here, who the hell are you talking to? Do you have a burner phone in there? Are you calling your secret family?”

Monét hears Bob’s loud laugh in the background and winces.

“He’s secret straight, I’ve been tellin’ you this whole time. Got all these side-chicks.”

“Monét!” Cracker knocks again.

With a sigh, Monét cracks the bathroom door, peering into the room where his two friends have been waiting, already dressed and a couple of drinks in (okay, fine, it’s finale night - Monét might also be a couple drinks in at the moment). Bob’s boyfriend is there too, all suited up with his hair pulled back - and if he looks a bit like Cracker out of drag, well, no one’s going to mention that.

“Will you just stop?” he hisses at Cracker. “I’m trying to work out how I want to… You know…” He widens his eyes at her, praying she’ll get the hint. They talked about it at lunch a couple days ago. She knows better than anyone else what Monét is planning.

“Oh shit,” Cracker mumbles. Then a smile graces her features. “Oh shit. Tonight? Okay, then. Werk. Glad you’re finally taking my advice.”

“Girl, we would have left your ass and gone down to the bar if we knew you were going to hide in the bathroom all night, practicing your Oscar speech,” Bob shouts at him. Doesn’t matter what the size of the room is, Bob has one damn volume setting. “You’re giving up your lame-ass Miss Congeniality trophy, remember? Not accepting a new one.”

“Fuck off.” Monét gives up on hiding, comes out of the bathroom to hunt for the bottle of whatever everyone else is drinking.

“It’s not his Oscar speech that he’s practicing,” Cracker sing-songs, raising an evil eyebrow as she sinks back onto the loveseat.

“You can fuck off, too.”

“Ooooh!” Bob says with exaggerated delight. “That speech. Tonight’s the night, huh? Okay, well. Let’s hear it.”

“Yeah, okay.” Monét rolls his eyes.

“Speech, speech, speech!”

“Fuck off, Bob.”

“Listen, I’ve been waiting for you to put the moves on one Nina West for two motherfucking years now.” Because Bob always knows what her sister needs, she produces a bottle of tequila from behind her back and hands it over to Monét. “Or have you forgotten the reason your sorry ass was in Columbus to begin with on that fateful weekend?”

Monét takes two (larger than necessary) drinks and replaces the cap. Liquid courage or some shit. “Yeah, okay. I was with you, taking care of you, like always. Never forget.”

Cracker reaches over for the bottle. “So what are you going to say?”

“I don’t fucking know. I didn’t exactly get that far.” Monét sighs. “Everything I come up with makes me sound like a stalker.”

“I mean…” Bob shrugs. “If the size 12 Pleaser fits…”

“Fuck off, Bob!” Monét grabs his wig and marches over to stand in front of a mirror, trying to position the piece correctly. Maybe he spends a little more time on it than is absolutely necessary. Maybe he’s trying to avoid anymore teasing from Bob and Cracker. Eventually, he can’t stall anymore, so he pats it down one final time, fluffs out the bits above his ears, and swivels around, gold sequins casting light around the room.

Cracker’s smiling at him. “You’re stunning.”

“You ain’t gotta tell me, bitch. I been knew.” Though (don’t tell Cracker, it’s nice to hear).

“Soooo…” Bob says slowly, drawing out the syllable for far too long, watching Monét carefully as he reapplies his lipstick. He could do that downstairs, but honestly he likes annoying Bob. “How are you gonna do it?”

“Do what?”

“Woo Miss Nina West. Seduce her. You gonna buy her a drink at the after party? Tell her you’ve been stalking her online like a crazy bitch ever since you saw her in Columbus back in 2017 but didn’t have the guts to say anything?”

“Don’t even -”

“Or tell her you, like, were all lovelorn and shit for the entirety of Season 11? Tell her how many watch parties you dragged me to just to catch a glimpse of that ass?”

“Bob,” Cracker says, a warning in her eyes.

“Or maybe you’ll lay on that ex-Miss Congeniality charm? You know she’s probably gonna take your crown this year, right? You gonna ask her to come upstairs so you can show her how to properly polish the trophy? Oh, Jesus, won’t that be annoying. Two of you.” Bob scoffs.

Monét rolls his eyes. “If I make a move on Nina West, it’s none of your goddamn business how I go about it, Roberta.” He grabs his earrings off the table, fixes them to his lobes. “Now. Can we please go before I’m late to my own give-up?”

Bob holds up his hands in surrender. “Fine. But you better clear the air tonight. It’s been how long now that you’ve been fucked up about her? It’s getting embarrassing -”

“Bob, drop it,” Cracker says, all low and soft in that voice she reserves only for Bob. Whatever they had together was a long time ago, but they still definitely know how to press each other’s buttons. It’s usually annoying. Tonight, Monét is grateful.

Bob and his boyfriend trudge ahead with little regard for Cracker and Monét as they walk to the elevator, but Cracker turns to Monét and grabs his hand. “Hey. Ignore him. He’s… You know.”

Monét nods. “I know.”

“I’m proud of you.” Cracker smiles. “Like - get it, girl. Took you long enough. And then you can introduce us. I always thought Nina and I would be friends.”

“Don’t go crazy now. Nothing’s happened yet. I don’t even know what to say.”

Cracker shrugs. “Just… be you. You know, everyone loves you so just… Go with that. Trust your gut.”

So Monét does.

He also trusts champagne and tequila, and wonder of wonders, it seems to fucking work. Nina laughs and banters and smiles at him, gorgeous and glittering with alcohol, and for once in his damn life, Monét feels like this is something that’s supposed to happen. Like he’s in the right place at the right time and this is a sure damn thing.

So he invites Nina back to his room (put that speech on the back-burner, girl, just for now) and Nina says “yes.”

Jesus of all Christs.

As Monét walks back up to his room, his final remaining braincell (listen, he’s had some drinks) thinks it’s a good idea to text Cracks: “It’s HAPPENING!!!!!!!” like some sort of schoolgirl. She responds immediately with the eye-roll emoji and several eggplants. Whatever, she loves him.

He gets his paint off, gets changed - wishes he had time for a shower, but the last thing he wants to do is miss Nina’s knock. It feels like a lifetime and also thirty seconds before Nina shows up outside his door still in his paper-doll pink, and it’s ridiculous and adorable and hot as hell, and the rest of the night just - disappears.

Magic.

So clearly the last thing he’s thinking about is giving Nina West this like - awful crazy-bitch speech about maybe having a crush on him for longer than he should’ve. The alcohol helped him not think about it too much (and Monét’s a damn over-thinker. He might not seem the type but that’s ‘cause he makes flawless look so easy, child). The next morning (afternoon), there’s no alcohol left in his system to blame and Monét has to - as they say - step his pussy up.

So he asks Miss Nina West out for lunch.

He’s as cool and casual as he possibly can be when what he really wants to do is just roll back under the blankets with that man, but - lunch, first. Then - his stupid ass speech. Then, hopefully - the rest. Like, rolling around in blankets, a relationship, a proposal somewhere down the line, a minivan and four kids and white picket fences… All that good stuff (Jesus Christ, calm your tits girl).

He might fucking floss after Nina leaves, might spend a bit too long moisturizing. Whatever, it’s nothing. He’s not building this up in his head or anything, he’s just - making an effort (Nina West is the reigning Miss Congeniality okay? Monét ignores the fact that he’s the reigning All Stars champion).

And when he goes down to Nina’s room, clutching the rest of the clothing Nina left behind, and running over his dumb-ass speech in his head (“This probably sounds - stupid, okay, but I saw you at this show back in Ohio two years ago - no, don’t laugh, it was a good show, you looked good, and I remember - I thought -”)

But Nina doesn’t answer the door.

Monét waits a bit, knocks again.

No one answers.

Fuck.

He wishes he’d gotten Nina’s phone number, because maybe he’s gone out, or had to meet up with someone, or is in some hotel room holding back Brooke Lynn’s hair as the queen cries out her broken heart (Monét ain’t blind, right? He knows what that shit looks like). Or maybe Monét got the numbers wrong (that was a lot of tequila), and this ain’t Nina’s room.

Shit.

Or maybe -

Nah, nah, he won’t go there. Nina West is not the kind of person that would ghost someone. Monét’s sure.

Pretty sure.

No, there’s no way.

He can’t wait in the hallway all day looking like some sad-ass puppy, so Monét folds the rest of Nina’s clothing, stacks it outside his door. Then he impulsively decides to leave his number as well. (Nina could get his number, right? From so many other queens, so Monét has zero chill, but fuck it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained or some other cliche bullshit he read on a cross stitch sampler at his Nana’s house.)

In his hand, his phone buzzes with a text from Cracker.

Bitch where are you??? Let’s do lunch. I need to know allllll the details! Then another eggplant Emoji. And the water droplets, which Monét thinks is just crass, but whatever.

Meet me in the lobby, Monét fires back as he turns around and walks back down the hall toward the elevator.

There’s an explanation, he’s sure of it.

He allows himself to entertain the idea as he rides the elevator down to the lobby. Nina will text, apologize, they’ll work things out, get them sorted. Everything will be fine in the end.

Monét has burned red-hot (silently, from a distance) for Nina West for way too long.

There’s no way it’s going to end like this.

#rpdr fanfiction #nina west #monet x change #vanessa vanjie mateo #brooke lynn hytes #ninex #eventual branjie #background trixya #smut #angst #musical #all stars au #how far i'll go #hfig #mia ugly #meggie #concrit welcome #submission #on set fic

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liv-delano97 · 6 years

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Get To Know your friends!

This is the most unique one I’ve seen, please yes. 1) Put your iTunes on shuffle. Give me the first 6 songs that pop up. 1) Jump The Gun - Adore Delano 2) Mama Don't Make Me Put on the Dress Again - Trixie Mattel 3) Dynamite - Adore Delano 4) You Want My Sister - 1 Hour Band feat. Joe Sugg 5) My Address is Hollywood - Adore Delano 6) Read You Wrote You - RuPaul feat. Alaska, Katya, Roxxxy, Detox 2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Adore Delano or Katya 3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. I don't have access to a book right now :( 4) What do you think about most? Cancer, what I'm going to do after I'm cured, alcohol, RuPaul's Drag Race 5) Ever had a poem or song written about you? Nope. Not yet 6) Do you have any strange phobias? Spiders? Is that weird I don’t think so anyway 7) What’s your religion? I have an infesting realationshop with god 8) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? Swimming or Reading 9) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? Oh shit! Do I have to pick just one? Umm One Direction or Green Day 10) What was the last lie you told? I'm Fine 11) Do you believe in karma? Depends 12) What does your URL mean? Uhm? It is for Loki from Marvel 13) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? I constantly think I’m not good enough. Though I think i'm not good enough, I feel I spread postivity to others the best 14) Who is your celebrity crush? Adore Delano and Tom Hiddleston 15) How do you vent your anger? Music, art, something creative 16) Do you have a collection of anything? Movies? 17) Are you happy with the person you’ve become? At this moment yes but I have some more growing up to do as well 18) What’s a sound you hate; sound you love? Screeching, music 19) What’s your biggest “what if”? What if I actually make it as a singer. 20) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Ghost; yes aliens; no 21) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. A pillow and a stranger things poster 22) Smell the air. What do you smell? My sea shore candle 23) What’s the worst place you have ever been to? Hospital 24) Most attractive singer/s of your opposite gender? Adore Delano, Alaska Thunderfuck 25) To you, what is the meaning of life? To love and be loved 26) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? Yes and one 27) What was the last movie you saw? To All the Boys I've Loved Before 28) What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? I broke my wrist playing kickball 29) Do you have any obsessions right now? Drag Race, Adore Delano, Bianca Del Rio, Katya and Trixie, Spiderman, Loki 30) Ever had a rumor spread about you?yep 31) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? Nope 32) What is your astrological sign? Cancer 33) What’s the last thing you purchased? A shot of whiskey 34) Love or lust? Love 35) In a relationship? I wish 36) How many relationships have you had?1 37) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? Just being myself and I hope and pray it works 38) Where is your best friend? At college in a different state :( 39) What were you doing last night at 12 AM? Dancing and drinking 40) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? I hope so 41) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? Save the dog and say Fuck off to the boss 42) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? No b) What do you do with your remaining days? Live it up c) Would you be afraid? No being afraid takes up to much time 43) What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? Moments - One Direction and I Adore You - Adore Delano 44) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? Trust 45) How can I win your heart? Be yourself 46) Can insanity bring on more creativity? Hell yes if we were sane Tumblr wouldn’t exist 47) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? To be myself and to watch Drag Race 48) What would you want to be written on your tombstone? Don't cry that I'm gone, celebrate that I was even there. or Party! 49) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word “heart.” Break 50) Basic question; what’s your favorite color/colors? Purple 51) What is your current desktop picture? Adore Delano 52) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be? Jake Paul 53) What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on? When was your first kiss? 54) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? To Defeat Thanos 55) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again? Any time with my best friend. 56) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? My brother passing away 57) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? You guessed it - Adore Delano 58) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? Brighton 59) Ever been on a plane?no 60) Give me your top 5 hottest celebrities. Adore Delano, Alaska Thunderfuck, Katya Zamolodchikova, Dan Howell, Tom Holland Please do it!

#adore delano #alaska thunderfvck 5000 #rupaul's drag race #tom holland #tom hiddleston #get to know the blogger #katya zamolodchikova #danisnotonfire #YOU TRY

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adoredykelano · 7 years

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Blue, orange?

blue: what do you do when you’re sad? what are some things you do when you can’t sleep? what was the best (non-romantic) night you’ve had? what kind of covers do you have on your bed? who is the last person you told a secret to?

- usually watch a funny show/movie i like, or talk about my feelings to one of my friends because i’m a sappy bitch who needs to talk shit out

- write, take a shower, or take an ambien depending on why it is i can’t sleep

- my last birthday was pretty nice, and christmas eve/christmas was really good too? but like i think the night that stands out the most was one night last summer with my friend where we just like. drove around and listened to music and went to denny’s at 2 AM and talked and it was nice

- i have a flat sheet and a comforter on it right now

- probably jena

orange: what makes you feel warm inside? what’s your favorite halloween tradition? what’s the last thing you learned? when’s the last time you felt obsessed? what’s your favorite article of clothing?

- dogs, cute romantic scenes in movies/shows, ......jena

- i don’t have halloween traditions i’ve never really celebrated it and i don’t really care for it as a holiday honestly

- THAT THE OCEAN SUNFISH CAN WEIGH 2,200 POUNDS

- i just binged season 7 of drag race and i’m currently pretty obsessed with katya so like...now

- i just got this cute pastel green shirt and i love it

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kandadiff · 5 years

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Updates - Kay Snow part 1

I’m redoing yours and making it longer -

Many of you will know Kay Snow as the leader of the famous girl group Trinity, in which her and her two cousins (Adi Snow & Bri Snow) rocked the world with there very unique sound.

Or maybe you know her as the leader and main singer of her extremely popular (#1 worldwide) girl group The Sirens, name any of the sirens and they are all household names. Plus Kay and Adi snow videos are hilarious literally go on youtube and watch there videos it makes me laugh every time. Or do you recognize her as Harley Quinn, or Serena from the I Spit on Your Grave movie franchise or even her solo album Dark Paradise.

Anyway lets dive in, so another thing Kay is known for is her various public realtionships, first linked with Liam Payne former 1d member, actor Damien Thorne and many others. However it was her relationship with actor and producer Negan Morgan. They met on the set of the Left for Dead during season 4 and 5 when she was a recurring character as Lana, Negans love interest. And like many actors these two went from co-star to couple coming out during the after show after Lana’s death scene.

Holy shit did this not go over so well with fans, the Left for Dead fans loved it (theyre couple was the most popular on the show), but some of Kay Snows fans gave her a lot of flack for the 20 yr age difference. A few celebrities even chimed in against it. Wendy Williams calling it “shameful, what could a little girl have in common with a man like him?”, Bri Snow agreeing calling him a “cradle-robber.” and like always Azealia banks took to twitter trying to denounce there relationship saying it was “f**king gross but I guess that someone with no talent needs a sugar daddy to pay for her. I bet she was pimped herself out to him for Fire.” (Fire being the third album of The Sirens).

Both Negan and Kay came back at her both posting a picture with both of the sticking up the middle finger with the caption “I’m happy deal with it.” and then tweeted back at Banks, Shangela’s famous sugar daddy speech from Rupauls Drag Race and went on to co-write one of her most famous solo albums Off to the Races which describes her and Negans relationship mixed with there characters in Left for Dead.

Anyway despite opposition from others they stayed together for quite a bit considering Hollywood romances don’t last every long. Even going to the Caribbean together for vacation soon after that he went back to Left for dead and Kay and the Sirens went on the Playing with Fire world tour, which I went to it was amazing! Loved the show for real get tickets to them you wont regret it. . But nothing gold can stay and around them being together for three years they split up. Some people specuated it was because of Kay’s friendship with footballer Maximus Valente since they were seen out shortly after at disco style club Studio 54. She addressed it later on an episode of Ellen saying “Max, didn’t cause anything. Sometimes things just don’t work out the way you plan, sometimes things happen but that doesn't mean I love Negan any less. He’ll always be apart of my life.”

And to move on from her relationship she moved out of her own house and bought a new one which is where Kitty and the Sirens wrote the singles Dirty Harry, Clint Eastwood and Pity Party.

6 months after her breakup she was seen getting in a fight with ex-one direction member on the street in front of The To Anyone Entertainment building, during the fight Louis grabbed her and tried to drag her into into a car all while they are yelling at each other and cursing and hitting and this is all being filmed and everything - right here, the video is pretty crazy like youd think after being told to leave her alone he would- nope. So he got a restraining order on him and it turns out he had been harassing and stalking her for months previous to the fight and that day it all came to a head. She also sued but the argument was settled before it went to court.

When asked about it during a interview with Thomas Valentine “Louis and I were good friends during the one direction days especially when Trinity was new and I was learning about the industry from someone I thought I could trust. But I was young and foolish and let him get away with a lot of things that were sort of red flags because I thought he was my friend. But he took advantage of me and my kindness and I believed in him and his empty promises. I caught on more when he couldn’t rely on Liam to hide behind and told him to (bleep) off he didn’t take it well and really started to … harass me with constant calls and visits and I thought it was over but his family owned more then half of To Anyone Entertainment and I was supposed to act like he wasn’t doing what he was doing and sweep it under the rug as nothing and in return he was supposed to leave me alone especially in the building. He did not listen which is why a lot of the music writing and recording was not in building however Louis isn’t stupid and only did it around people he knew he could get away with it around, he rarely did it around Edward, Draven, William or Negan or Max because he was afraid of them that's why I was always around them and no matter how much I yelled at him or cursed him or even hit him he wouldn’t stop. He even had the nerve to write that song Addiction about me and I know its about me because when it came out he wrote me this like 14 page letter discussing how every lyric reflected his thoughts about me … I guess im grateful for that considering after the judge read it the restraining order was practically done by then.” Holy hell, the hate Louis received after that made him delete his all of his social media and a few assholes came after Kay saying she was making it all up but the Cat Crew backed the main Cat Girl up, including Adi Snow who called Louis out and said her story was all true.

To bring out the new year Maximus Valente announced his relationship with Kay snow on a cute Instagram video at a beach party thrown by fellow teammate player Romeo Popov. That is where Max and Kay became the couple goals we all know them to be. Seriously they are so cute together and by the way so good together can I just say. However another scandal rocked this girl during the filming of Harley & Ivy, where Kay played Harley Quinn, a sex tape featuring Kay and Liam leaked online from someone to have claimed to been an inside source having been taken years earlier.

A few people on twitter took to talking about it almost right away trouble maker Azealia Banks claims she was cheating on Maximus and was “a dirty bitch with an even dirtier p*ssy.” Camilla Cabelo liking the tweet and @ Liam then Bri Snow tweeting “Just waiting for this drama # GotMyPopcorn.” Liam tweeted back saying “That was filmed a long time ago, she isn’t a cheater, I am not a cheater and honestly its obvious it was a long time ago, both her and I have gotten tattoos since then and I don’t know how it was leaked but the hate is completely unnecessary. Its not a secret, we were a couple but this video is one we meant to keep private so please just respect us enough to not send us hate about it.” Finally able to get to social media Kay addresses the video in a video of her own. “Liam said it perfectly, the hate is stupid and clearly given most of my tattoos are missing and my hair is shorter and red in the video I mean really guys? I obviously never wanted it to get out and it is an incredible invasion of privacy but its out now so just be kind to Liam and I and be kind to Maximus and Liams partner.”

However the sex tape scandal faded as The Sirens announced there highly successful I Am The Best Album and following world tour and even had two remixes of the songs as a distrack of I am the best and Ddu du ddu du to those who have come for them, Kay addressing Camilla, Bri Snow and Azealia in the remixes. That amazing ass album went platinum and they deserved it. It was amazing!

During the Sirens hiatus following Makayla Arrabah’s pregnancy announcement a video that all Malyn shippers saved to look at forever came out of Maximus proposing to Kay in cute little restaurant in Greece during there vacation. Oh my god my heart hurt it was so sweet! This was a really sweet time by the way because within this year period Makayla gave birth, Adi and Edward became an official couple, the new Wonder Woman movie starring Draven came out and Katya’s solo album Diamonds came out.

The dream couple got married in October of that year near the couples favorite holiday (Halloween) and in Maximus’ home country of Italy in a beautiful ceremony captured by Maid of Honor Adi Snow and Best man Romeo Popov. The wedding was supposed to be private but since both the bride and the groom had star studded guest list paps actually had people trying to break in to the venue.

For their there honeymoon (after football season) these cuties went back Greece and enjoyed there little vacations, Maximus’s Instagram is filled with pictures like this. The year following there honeymoon she was pretty free from scandal and stayed pretty out of the magazines, working closer and closer with Edward Styles actually directing the film style music videos for his Album Abyss and starring as the Demon of Fame in the music video My Darling and this was also the time Real Time with the Snows the reality show about the snow family. It mostly revolves around her mothers side of the family and the constant drama around them.

But it was on an episode, now famous for revealing Kay’s pregnancy, which Kay was staying at her moms house and when her mother and Eva were coming back from the nail salon and a 6-month pregnant Kay was with Tyler and Adi in the kitchen complaining at who was eating her Rocky Road Ice Cream. And the fans went crazy after that aired all her social media was flooded with questions about her pregnancy and a few people actually sent her more Rocky Road Ice Cream. She and Maximus confirmed they were expecting twins and didn’t want to jinx anything that's why they waited to confirm the pregnancy.

2months later they gave birth to there twins a boy and a girl. Apollo Romeo Valente.

And Annabel Lee Valente aka Ella. These kids are the freaking cutest! So she really took a break from performing and got into the producing aspect of things directing a lot of To Anyone’s singers videos including Edward Styles, William, Kitty and the boy group Millennium and even helped recruit new talent for the Agency. She even traveled with the kids to start a To Anyone agency in South Korea.

During the next 2 years Kay was pretty much exempt from scandal and worked on the horror/ thriller revenge tale I Spit On Your Grave as Serena Lorelai. So okay I love kay but I held off watching it because I heard it has a lot of gore and I’m a big baby when it comes to that but I finally watched it and holy shit its amazing! Like it is just a woman taking charge after 5 men do some really fucked up stuff to her and oh my god it was so good! Like I bought it on iTunes and watch it every two months like its a great movie for real.

However, tragedy struck my favorite people shortly after something kay described as “the worst moment that ever happened to me.” Kay was spending time with a heavily pregnant Adi and the kids in her house when the news came on. Drunk driver struck celebrities limo all being rushed to the hospital. The limo was for Edward Styles bachelor party and in it was William Tomlinson, Harry and Marcel Styles, Stephen James, Robert and Andrew Hood, Ian Payne, Maximus Valente and Billy Hargrove. All besides Andrew Hood were seriously injured. The scene around the hospital was ridiculous, so many paparazzi and fans crowded the hospital not only because of the news but also because the news caused Arianna snow to go into labor a few days early. Sadly, Edward Styles, Maximus Valente and Robert Hood passed away just a day later. I can’t begin to imagine the pain these poor people felt and no one got out of that car crash unharmed. William has a metal pins in his legs since both were broken, Stephen has a slight limp when he walks, Ian and Billy both have scars where they had to get surgery, Harry had to have surgery on his arm and Marcel’s wrist still aches when it rains.

The three funerals were held within a couple of days of each other but all of them were so beautiful and heartbreaking, so many people came to the funeral and so many pictures were taken. You can see she just looked so sad delivering the eulogy and Ella and Apollo even ran on stage with her when she started crying.

In the following months Adi moved in with Kay and both found inspiration in there tragedy and while Adi was writing her Album For Him Kay co-wrote the songs and directed the beautiful cinematic music videos Dark Paradise, Like You’ll never see me again (I cry every time I hear that song) and You Found Me. She said writing and counselling really helped her get back out into the public and she slowly began to preform the songs live and began to go on social media again and became the face of Kyle Couture’s X! Line.

Then our leader headed to Asia at the request of Got7′s Jackson Wang and BTS’s RM both wanted to help write/produce the sirens newest album and they actually started one of the most successful collaborations between Korean artists with the song Oh Yeah!, Oh Nana (ft. Suga), and E.T. Like if you thought this woman was popular in asia before, this boosted her appeal out there by like 1000%. Actually Big Hit and JYP offered her a job as a producer to help create new girl groups for the company. With plenty convincing from both sides she decided to take the job with Big Hit and with RM helped create the girl group Dream. It was the closeness of the way both boys (Jackson and RM) acted with Kay during interviews, the constant inst pictures with the twins and how fondly they spoke of her, the fact that Jackson just straight up said he loved her and RM saying that she was an inspiration for the song DNA, that made many fans speculate whether kay was dating either boy and between the internet fans it actually started a sort of war between the two fandoms, shipping #Kackson or #Kayjoon.

Fans went real stalkerish during this time practically analyzing everything about Kay and these two boys, any pictures or interview that was made about them people analyzed. Half of Kays fans (and GOT7 stans) favored Jackson from the simple fact that hes always been close to her even before she met RM. They met through former Miss A member Jia and have been good friends ever since. Plus everyone knows he’ s like amazing with kids and Ella and Apollo seem to get along with him very well. Plus this sneaky boy is always posting pictures of the five of them (including his super cute dog) with the family emoji.

The case for Namjoon was that they clearly work so well together, even building a girl group and the long nights they have to pull together and on interviews they seem to be good friends. Plus he’s crazy smart and clearly cares for her, even on BTS TV he watched Ella and Apollo a few times and its honestly adorable how cute he is with them. Plus everyone can see how respectful he is of Kay. And this boy includes her in everything, Jungkook even joked they should just get a spare room for her at the house.

During Dreams highly successful debut stage and first mini album Kay stepped back for a moment and headed back to the States to return to Left For Dead season 9 returning as Lana. However, both Namjoon and Jackson posted them still facetiming and fans from both sides of the argument demanded or begged or pressured her to pick one but Kay stayed illusive about her relationships with the boys. The views for the Left for Dead episode where Lana came back was highly rated and a few people thought that Negan and Kay would get back together especially since the chemistry was 100% for real like I loved it, it was steamy af. She actually received an Emmy for her performance as Lana a few months later and during this time Kay was seen out more and more with her children and her left for dead costars but many people focused on her outings with Negan but what kills me is that she was never just them two in these outings all her pictures Adi or Shawn were by her.

Unfortunately for Kay just a week before the Emmy’s in which she was nominated for best guest actress as Lana Rhodes, she suffered from an armed break-in in her Los Angela’s home. The upcoming description is from what she said in interviews and released police reports, testimonys and her 911 call. At approximately 4:30 am, Louis Tomlinson, former One Direction member broke in through the laundry room of Kay Snow’s LA home with a gun with a silencer, while Kay, Apollo and Ella slept upstairs. Louis then got out laundry room and headed upstairs while Hades, Kay’s German Shepard Dog awoke from his sleep and presumably found Louis as he exited the laundry room, he let out a few barks that alerted Kay and was silenced when Louis shot him and dragged his body into the laundry room. Quickly cleaning up the blood with his sweatshirt when Kay walked downstairs, he hid once again in the laundry room until he heard the girl walk back upstairs. As soon as she went upstairs, Louis exited the laundry room and made his way upstairs and into Kay Snow’s room and proceeded to watch her sleep until she awoke at 6:30 where as soon as her alarm went off he hid in her closest and she went into the bathroom and as she was headed into the hallway he sprung out and grabbed her. She fought back but he threatened her with the gun if she screamed and told her to do her morning routine as normal because “this is the new normal.”

Kay proceeded to get her children ready for school, packing Ella and Apollo’s lunch while Louis watches and “he kept staring at the kids and he folded down every picture I had around the house of Max saying he was going to replace them all and when he was taking down the portait of Max and I, I wrote the note and sent the kids off.” In both Ella and Apollo’s lunches Kay wrote notes to there teachers both saying ‘Please call 911 and send them to my house SOS -Kay S.’ “I found Hades [her dog] and I was crying while I was cleaning him up, but he was so far gone he didn’t care or notice he took away my phone and every half an hour he was putting something up his nose, he was high out of his mind and waving that gun around. He was trying to test, see if I would fight him like I did before. I couldn’t- this time I had kids to think about. It was terrifying, he was ranting and raving how we were going to get married and how I was going to change mine and my kids named to Tomlinson. Just crazy shit like that and when the cops got there finally it got worse.” There was a standoff with the cops for 9 hours, where Louis held her hostage. Media went crazy, Adi Snow cutting her world tour short when she heard what happened. Louis then announced that if they cant live happily “then we can’t live at all.” He then proceeded to cook a dinner for him and kay lacing her drink with a sedative which “He didn’t notice I saw him put whatever it was in there and as soon as he set it down in front of me I threw It in his face and ran, that’s when he started shooting his gun, so I ran as fast as could upstairs and I went into the nearest room. Ella’s. I locked the door and I heard him coming up the stairs while shooting the gun. I was trying to climb out of the window but he shot off the lock and grabbed me back in and just kept hitting me with the gun. Then he dragged me downstairs and that’s when the swat team came in.”

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25 Hilarious RuPaul's Drag Race Memes Only True Fans Will Understand

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25 Hilarious RuPaul's Drag Race Memes Only True Fans Will Understand

by Bernardo Sim

– on Jun 03, 2018

in Lists

It is no secret that RuPaul’s Drag Race is one of the most popular TV shows currently on air, and also one of the most tweeted-about and meme-friendly reality competitions on television.

With every episode and season of Drag Race, the internet has a ball and goes all out with the memes, gifs, and jokes. The same can be said about the Drag Race: All-Stars spin-off and the Untucked series that accompanies the series, where queens have a chance to shine outside of the main RuPaul’s Drag Race timeline.

RuPaul is not only the most famous and influential drag queen in the world, but also a prominent TV producer and marketing genius who can turn the most innocuous interactions and catch-phrases into pop culture gold.

Over the span of ten years that Drag Race has been on air, the franchise has given us some of the most iconic memes that are used for various situations even by people who have never seen the show.

Thus, popular Drag Race memes can be both deep-cut references to the series and also incredibly relatable reactions and phrases that can be used in different contexts.

Here are 25 Hilarious RuPaul’s Drag Race Memes Only True Fans Will Understand.

25 NO BEYONCÉS, PLEASE

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Despite being the Queen Bey of popular culture and a musician who is adored by millions of LGBTQ fans, Beyoncé has been a historically very challenging character.

Many queens have decided to impersonate her during the Snatch Game challenges of RuPaul’s Drag Race.

The first time a contestant impersonated Beyoncé for Snatch Game was all the way back in 2010, during the second season of Drag Race.

Tyra Sanchez, who proceeded to win that season, chose to do Beyoncé as her Snatch Game character and set a precedent for the various other times that the popstar would turn out to be a really bad choice as a celebrity for queens to impersonate.

The second time a Beyoncé impersonation appeared on Snatch Game was in 2012, during season 4, from contestant Kenya Michaels. It turned out so bad that Kenya went on to be eliminated that very same week.

Finally, Beyoncé went on to be impersonated a third time on RuPaul’s Drag Race, as the celebrity that Asia O’Hara chose for Snatch Game.

Once again, acting as the Queen Bey turned out to be a very bad decision, and Asia nearly landed in the Bottom Two that week. It is probably time for the queens to give up on trying to act like Beyoncé on Drag Race.

24 BECAUSE I AM WHAT?

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One of the most iconic fights in the history of RuPaul’s Drag Race happened in the Untucked lounge on season 3.

The argument happened between Shangela – who was appearing in the show for a second time – and Mimi Imfurst.

Mimi, who was upset about the critiques she received that night from the judges and felt attacked by her former contestant, decided to turn the spotlight on Shangela to defend herself, claiming that Shangela had a “sugar daddy.”

Shangela did not take Mimi Imfurst’s claim lightly and, as she defended herself, she delivered one of the most unforgettable lines in the entire Drag Race franchise: “I don’t have a sugar daddy. If I wanted a sugar daddy, yes, I probably could go out and get one. Because I am what? Sickening!”

Fans of the show often regard that moment as television gold and claim that it set Shangela’s career in motion, earning her a spot in RuPaul’s Drag Race: All-Stars 3 many years later.

Combining the infamous “Meryl Streep yelling at the Oscars” meme with Shangela’s quote is beyond hilarious for Drag Race fans, as it would certainly be funny to hear Meryl Streep yell out “sickening” to complete Shangela’s quote.

23 ALASKA AND THE ROBBERY

RuPaul’s Drag Race: All-Stars 2 reunited several fan-favorite contestants of the franchise, including Alaska Thunderf*ck (season 5 runner-up) and Katya (season 7’s Miss Congeniality).

From the very beginning of All-Stars 2, it became quite clear that Alaska had walked in to win the entire season, masterfully coming up with gags and surprises to keep judges and audiences interested in keeping her around.

However, Katya also had her share of fans within the Drag Race community, many of which felt like the producers of the show never really gave her a chance to compete fairly against Alaska.

As All-Stars 2 crowned Alaska Thunderf*ck as its winner and left Katya and Detox tied for the second place, there was an uproar among Katya fans who believed that she was not treated fairly by the season or the series in general.

Thus, Katya’s fans claimed that Alaska “robbed” her of a well-deserved crown. To symbolize that feeling, fans created this meme, which is a fake news article that points Alaska as a main suspect of targeting elderly Russian women – such as Katya’s character – for a “robbery.”

Katya’s best friend, Trixie Mattel, would go on to win Drag Race: All-Stars 3. However, fans of Katya still wish that she had been crowned.

22 BACK ROLLS?

Alyssa Edwards, a queen who is known for her perfectionism and overall poise, was accused of having “back rolls” showing during one of her runway looks during RuPaul’s Drag Race season 5.

Throughout the fifth season of Drag Race, it was clear that Jade Jolie and Alyssa Edwards did not get along.

However, that animosity became undoubtedly evident during one of their arguments in which Jade accused Alyssa of having “back rolls.”

What Jade Jolie meant is that Alyssa’s skin was squished in the back and could be seen while she was wearing that particular outfit.

Despite being an otherwise silly comment that did not impact Alyssa Edwards’ performance in the challenge whatsoever, Alyssa took offense to the comment and delivered one of the most iconic quotes in the entire RuPaul’s Drag Race franchise.

Even years later, Drag Race fans still remember “back rolls!?” as one of the most memorable and authentic reactions that contestants have ever given on the show. It is certainly interesting that Alyssa Edwards, of all people, was the queen accused of having such “flaw,” as she always carried herself as a drag queen who always looks her very best.

Thankfully, Alyssa came back during All-Stars 2 and gave fans even more unforgettable moments.

21 STRAIGHT PEOPLE?

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RuPaul’s Drag Race is a show for everybody, of course. As a matter of fact, the show has become so popular that it has moved from LGBTQ-centric network Logo to VH1, a channel that has a much broader reach and a significantly wider audience that contains people of all ages, genders, races, and sexual orientations.

However, it is still curious whenever LGBTQ fans of Drag Race stumble upon straight people talking about the show, as the franchise was ignored by mainstream audiences for so long prior to landing on VH1 and reaching more people.

With the growing popularity of RuPaul’s Drag Race, it turns out that the show’s contestants have become increasingly famous and a topic of conversation in numerous social spaces, including the workplace.

This meme points to the fact that LGBTQ fans of RuPaul’s Drag Race are still intrigued and curious to watch straight people discovering – and discussing – the franchise.

As a consequence of the show’s popularity, it is clear that Drag Race season 10 is heavily self-referential, alluding to several quotes and bringing up the names of many queens from past seasons.

At least straight people can count on LGBTQ fans to guide them through all of the references that they might not understand.

20 YOU’RE PERFECT, YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL

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It takes a true friend – or a very shady one – to look at your outfit and say that “You’re perfect, you’re beautiful, you look like Linda Evangelista, you’re a model.”

That iconic quote was delivered on RuPaul’s Drag Race season 9 by Aja during an Untucked episode. Aja was upset about the constant negative feedback she was receiving in comparison to the regular praise that fellow contestant Valentina was getting from judges.

So Aja lashed out – almost in a temper tantrum sort of way – and said that Valentina would be called “perfect” and “beautiful” and be compared to Linda Evangelista by the judges no matter how she presented herself on the runway.

Despite the fact that this was a moment of jealousy from Aja, this quote ended up skyrocketing her career and landing her a spot on RuPaul’s Drag Race: All-Stars 3 right after season 9 finished airing.

Additionally, that quote was made into a song and remixed over and over again, yielding t-shirts, pins, tote bags, and all sorts of other merchandising for both Valentina and Aja.

The lesson here is that friends should always tell one another that they look perfect, beautiful, and like Linda Evangelista. Even if it is technically not true, it may actually work out in your favor.

19 ZOIDBERG THE DRAG QUEEN?

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The first season of RuPaul’s Drag Race: All-Stars was controversial, to say the least, and is often regarded as the worst season in the history of the franchise as a whole.

Be as it may, that season decided to have contestants competing in pairs, and paired up Chad Michaels – who was clearly set out be win the show – with Shannel, a queen that was not as well-regarded.

Chad and Shannel formed Team Shad and went on to the finale to compete against Team Rujubee, which consisted of Raven and Jujubee.

On the finale of Drag Race: All-Stars 1, Shannel decided to wear the look that can be seen on this meme. Needless to say, fans were quick to point out that she looked oddly like Zoidberg, the crustacean-like alien doctor from Futurama.

Despite Zoidberg not being the particular point of reference that Shannel was aiming for, it is definitely hilarious to think of that character as part of the Drag Race mythos and to imagine him competing among so many drag queens.

Is Zoidberg the next Drag Race all-star? Probably not, if we’re being honest. But who knows? It wouldn’t be the first time that RuPaul and his series would make a controversial decision.

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18 CRYING IN DRAG LANGUAGE

Perhaps the single most emotional moment in the entire history of RuPaul’s Drag Race took place during season 5, when contestant Roxxxy Andrews revealed to the judges that, as a child, she was abandoned on a bus stop.

Roxxxy proceeded to cry on the runway and made the judges and her fellow contestants also shed tears, but that did not stop fans from making a little bit of a joke from the entire situation. It’s drag, after all, isn’t it?

On this meme, one can see a still shot of Roxxxy Andrews crying after making her revelation to the judges. While there is nothing funny about that image alone, the subtitles read, “crying in drag language,” which is a hilarious reference to the “crying in Spanish” meme that came from the Mexican telenovela character Soraya Montenegro.

Despite not being an official language spoken by dozens of countries around the world, the art of drag has definitely yielded its very own extensive lingo throughout several years, which RuPaul’s Drag Race has certainly contributed to.

“Crying in drag language” is not a thing, but it may not be so wrong to consider drag as sort of a language, as it is spoken by various LGBTQ people around the world.

17 DO I HAVE SOMETHING ON MY FACE?

Historically, it has been rare to see RuPaul get off-balance on Drag Race, his very own show. It wouldn’t be until season 7 that contestant Pearl would challenge the host and create what is perhaps the most awkward stare-down in the entire franchise.

During a particular challenge, Pearl was teamed up with Max, and seemed to be completely out of it. As RuPaul made his way around the workroom to talk to the queens as they were getting ready, Pearl just seemed to not be giving RuPaul any actual answers, failing to even entertain the interaction in general.

Then, RuPaul proceeded to just stare at Pearl and wait until the contestant realized that she was acting in a very cringe-worthy way, but instead, Pearl went one step ahead and asked, “Do I have something on my face?”

“Yeah,” RuPaul replied, and then proceeded to walk up to other contestants and talk to them.

It was the first time in the history of the series in which we saw a queen act in a mean and snarky way toward RuPaul.

Additionally, it was also the first time in which we saw Mama Ru lose her patience with one of her “children.”

16 SEASON 48

Despite being on air since 2009, it seems like RuPaul’s Drag Race only gets increasingly popular over time, and at this rate, it doesn’t seem like the franchise is slowing down any time soon. Maybe we’ll one day see Drag Race season 48?

Other popular reality TV competitions have certainly managed to get close to that number of years. For instance, Survivor has reached season 37, America’s Next Top Model has gotten 24 seasons, Big Brother is set for season 20, and Project Runway has spun 16 seasons.

With RuPaul’s Drag Race already filming its 11th season and All-Stars 4 pretty much confirmed, we can certainly dream of the show reaching season 48, with RuPaul appearing as a holographic Zordon inspired by the original version of Power Rangers.

With seasons 9 and 10, as well as All-Stars 3 breaking all-time records for Drag Race ratings, it may not be so hard to imagine that the show will last for at least two or three decades.

VH1 – and its parents company Viacom – are certainly betting on the franchise, giving it the proper marketing and budget that it deserves, and even greenlighting 90-minute long episodes alongside Untucked episodes.

Come through, holographic Mama Ru.

15 CALL ME BY YOUR MISS VANJIE

2018 has experienced two major moments in LGBTQ culture so far: the popularization of Call Me By Your Name as an Oscar frontrunner, and the introduction of Drag Race contestant Miss Vanjie to mainstream audiences.

So it makes sense that when Elio asks Oliver to call him by his name, Oliver would respond with “Miss Vanjie… Miss Vanjie… Miss Vanjie…” right?

This meme pokes fun at the internet sensation that Vanessa Vanjie Mateo – also known as just Miss Vanjie – has become since appeared on season 10 of RuPaul’s Drag Race.

Despite being the first queen to go home, Miss Vanjie caused a major impression on the judges and other fellow contestants, and had her name being shot-out at least once in nearly all of the episodes that aired after her elimination.

Miss Vanjie, of course, is the drag daughter of Alexis Mateo, who appeared as a contestant on the third season of RuPaul’s Drag Race and on the first Drag Race: All-Stars.

Unlike Alexis Mateo, however, Miss Vanjie did not manage to go very far in the competition, but seems to have gained more popularity than any of the other season 10 queens.

Rumors are that Miss Vanjie has already been picked to appear on the season 11 of Drag Race, but such speculation won’t be confirmed any time soon.

14 MISS VANJIE

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You know you’ve made it in popular culture when The Simpsons mention you or include you in one of those episodes.

While that hasn’t happened to Miss Vanjie – or any of the other RuPaul’s Drag Race contestants – yet, we certainly can fantasize about how funny it would be if Bart Simpson was writing “Miss Vanjie” over and over again on the chalkboard during the opening of a Simpsons episode.

Running for 29 seasons and already confirmed for its 30th, The Simpsons has had its fair share of LGBTQ characters and LGBTQ-themed episodes. On episode 15 of season 8 (“Homer’s Phobia”), Homer appeared to be slightly homophobic upon discovering that John, a store clerk, was gay.

However, on episode 17 of season 14 (“Three Gays of the Condo”) Homer visited the Gay District of Springfield and moved into an apartment with two gay men called Julio and Grady.

Then, on episode 11 of season 22 (“Flaming Moe”), Moe turned his establishment into a trendy gay bar due to a suggestion from Smithers.

So why can’t Miss Vanjie – or even RuPaul, for that matter – be featured on The Simpsons? As Drag Race becomes more and more popular and RuPaul is even awarded a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, maybe we are closer to that reality than we think.

13 IVY WINTERS

A contestant on season 5 of RuPaul’s Drag Race, Ivy Winters became famous for the particular way that RuPaul said her name every time she walked the runway. “Iiiiiivy wintersss,” RuPaul would enunciate in a somewhat heavy country accent. The queen, however, was sent home on the 8th episode.

The Ivy Winters name entered the Drag Race mythos for good and has been referenced a few times through the years.

For instance, on season 10, during the “Breastworld” acting challenge, contestant Eureka O’Hara was prompted to yell out the Ivy Winters name for her role as a robot.

The fact that all of the queens were familiar with the reference shows how self-referential RuPaul’s Drag Race has become, borrowing from its own history instead of relying on works such as Paris Is Burning and John Waters’ Pink Flamingos.

Despite being voted as the Miss Congeniality of season 5, Ivy Winters was never featured on a Drag Race: All-Stars season and only came back to Drag Race during the season 6 finale, when she passed to BenDeLaCreme the title of Miss Congeniality.

Since leaving the show, Ivy Winters has hosted webshows, featured on Watch What Happens Live, and released songs such as “Overcome” and “Elfy Winters Night.”

12 OPEN TO ALLIANCES

The episode that sent Thorgy Thor home on RuPaul’s Drag Race: All-Stars 3 was a very complicated one, as the queen was visibly struggling with the way she was being treated by the show’s producers and fellow contestants.

On that particular episode, titled “Divas Lip Sync Live,” each queen was assigned a diva popstar to impersonate. Certain pairings were beyond perfect, such as Trixie Mattel (as Dolly Parton), Shangela (as Mariah Carey), BeBe Zahara Benet (as Diana Ross), and Chi Chi DeVayne (as Patti LaBelle).

Other choices, such as assigning Julie Andrews to BenDeLaCreme, Amy Winehouse to Aja, and Stevie Nicks to Thorgy Thor, seemed a little more challenging.

Despite the fact that Stevie Nicks was her actual gay icon, Thorgy Thor felt that Drag Race producers were setting her up to fail, as Stevie Nicks does not have the bubbly personality and gay-friendly humor that divas such as Mariah Carey have.

Ultimately, Thorgy Thor was put in the Bottom Two by the judges. She proceeded to try to form alliances backstage with Shangela, who was in the Top Two of the week alongside BenDeLaCreme, in order to save herself from elimination.

However, the alliance was not strong enough, and Shangela sent Thorgy home.

11 I’D LIKE TO KEEP IT ON, PLEASE

RuPaul’s Drag Race season 9 was full of gag-worthy moments that are now part of the franchise’s mythos and will never be forgotten by fans.

Perhaps the most shocking twist of the entire season included Valentina’s elimination, which no one could foresee at the time.

Upon landing in the Bottom Two for the very first time and lip-synching against Nina Bo’Nina Brown, Valentina seemed to be in a very safe position to stay in the competition and make her way to the top.

That is, if it wasn’t for the fact that she did not learn the words for Ariana Grande’s “Greedy” and decided to keep wearing her outfit’s mask to conceal that fact.

After realizing that Valentina was keeping her mask on during a Lip Sync For Your Life, RuPaul stopped the lip-sync and told her to take it off.

“This is a lip-sync for your life, we need to see your lips. Take that thing off your mouth,” RuPaul said, to which Valentina replied, “I’d like to keep it on, please.” Then, RuPaul responded, “It’s a lip-sync, what part of that don’t you understand?”

Valentina’s insistence caused her to be eliminated from Drag Race, but it certainly reminds us of friends in parties who get access to the aux cord, doesn’t it?

10 SHANGELA’S TROLLING

This meme makes fun of one of the most hilarious moments in the entire RuPaul’s Drag Race: All-Stars 3 season. Upon landing in the Bottom Three alongside Chi Chi DeVayne and Kennedy Davenport, Trixie Mattel was beyond certain that she was going to be sent home by Shangela.

Chi Chi and Kennedy were some of the closest and most personal friends Shangela had on the series, and it was hard to imagine that she was going to send any of them home that night.

To top it all off, upon providing her explanation regarding which queen she was eliminating, Shangela said a few things that seemed to unquestionably point out to Trixie’s elimination.

Then, as Shangela revealed the lipstick she had chosen containing the name of the queen she was going to eliminate, it read “Chi Chi,” not “Trixie.”

The elimination came as a shock not only because Shangela was sending home a friend, but also because Shangela’s given explanation seemed to be about Trixie instead.

This meme takes the whole situation even further, making Shangela’s explanation even more clearly about Trixie Mattel, while still showing that Chi Chi DeVayne was actually being sent home.

As Trixie would go on to win All-Stars 3, maybe Shangela should’ve eliminated her instead?

9 MOST LIP-SYNC LOSSES AWARD

Despite being a Drag Race all-star and winning All-Stars 3, Trixie Mattel seems to have broken a record that most winners are not often associated with: most lip-sync losses in the history of RuPaul’s Drag Race.

On season 7 of Drag Race, Trixie Mattel was eliminated, then brought back, then eliminated again, earning her two lip-sync losses.

Then, on All-Stars 3, Trixie made her way to the top twice before the season finale, but lost the Lip Sync For Your Legacy both times, earning her two more losses.

In the end, as Trixie made her way to the Top Two, she won the lip-sync and was crowned the winner of All-Stars 3. However, she still had four lip-sync losses under her belt during the franchise, which is certainly a weird fact.

Is there another Drag Race queen with similar stats? Why, yes there is: Katya, Trixie Mattel’s BFF and co-host of The Trixie & Katya Show. Katya, who was also originally on season 7, earned one lip-sync loss during that season.

Then, as she was brought back to All-Stars 2, Katya made it to the Top Two three times but lost all three lip-syncs. In total, Katya also lost four lip-syncs, but unlike Trixie, she did not go on to win a season.

8 IF THIS AIN’T ME

The library is open, darling.

When teachers say that “reading is fundamental,” they probably do not mean it the same way as RuPaul. However, it is certainly very important for Drag Race fans to get their education not only from school, but also from watching the series.

To be fair, RuPaul’s Drag Race does an unquestionably good job at presenting new generations with cultural references and important figures from LGBTQ history.

Aside from the numerous Paris Is Burning and John Waters shot-outs, Drag Race has also become increasingly political over time, regularly referring to global warming, calling out politicians, advocating for the importance of voting, and even challenging the queens to come up with looks that pertain to social issues.

Therefore, despite being a reality competition that sets out to entertain us, one can certainly argue that RuPaul’s Drag Race has some educational value as well.

It’s hard to tell whether teachers can understand that, but one can try to make an argument for it.

Additionally, with so many TV shows currently on air, there are very few LGBTQ-centric ones, leaving Drag Race in the unique position of carrying that torch almost by itself.

One way or another, skipping class to watch drag queens on television is definitely worth consideration.

7 HIGHLIGHT EVERYTHING

Speaking of RuPaul’s Drag Race and education… you know when a teacher tells you to highlight the important stuff in a chapter?

Well, Detox probably took that suggestion way too literally, and chose to wear highlight-colored clothes and hair dye when she recorded her confessional scenes for All-Stars 2.

Detox was one of the clear frontrunners in the second All-Stars season of Drag Race, but unlike other contestants, she seemed to be at peace with the fact that she could not win the crown while competing with Alaska Thunderf*ck.

During her verse on “Read U Wrote U”, which was the challenge that took place during that season’s finale, Detox said, “I ain’t saying I’m the best, but I ain’t the worst,” and then added that she felt comfortable being in the “number two” position.

The Drag Race clique Ro-Laska-Tox – which was formed by Roxxxy Andrews, Alaska Thunderf*ck, and Detox on season 5 – was featured on All-Stars 2 and made its way to the Top Four of the season alongside Katya.

Thus, unlike Katya’s fans, people who cheered for Roxxxy and Detox seemed at peace with the fact that Alaska was meant to win that season, as even the queens had already accepted that reality.

6 MAY I SPEAK WITH THE MANAGER, PLEASE?

Katya’s charisma and charm is tightly correlated with her ability to provide RuPaul’s Drag Race fans with looks and expressions that are incredibly relatable and adaptable to several situations.

It is that ability from Katya that earned her a spot on Drag Race season 7, then on All-Stars 2, then on the webseries UNHhhh, then on Viceland’s The Trixie & Katya Show.

This meme pokes fun at the fact that Katya looked, while wearing this particular outfit, like the type of woman who goes to stores and, upon feeling mistreated, asks to speak to a manager in order to overcome her problems.

To be fair, that behavior couldn’t be further from the truth of who Katya really is: a stern Russian woman who is both poised and insane.

Brian, the real person behind the Katya character, announced in January of 2018 that he was taking a hiatus from doing drag to work on his mental health.

Then, in March, he started a podcast called Whimsically Volatile to explore his feelings and open up about the psychotic break he went through recently.

After entering rehab and working out his issues, Brian has made sporadic appearances as Katya, but has yet to fully return to drag.

5 DRAG RACE, THEN REVOLUTION

Speaking of Katya, one of her most unforgettable feats on season 7 of RuPaul’s Drag Race was unfortunately the same challenge that sent her home.

During episode 11, titled “Hello, Kitty Girls!”, the queens were asked to come with up Hello Kitty-inspired looks and create a new character that would serve as Hello Kitty’s new best friend.

Katya, being the Russian woman character that she is, came up with a yellow-teethed Hello Kitty character that smoked and proudly held out the Russian flag.

While it was unquestionably accurate in regards to Katya’s personality, it was not very in tune with the challenge: giving Hello Kitty a new best friend. It was a creative and on-brand choice for Katya, but also the reason why she was sent home that week.

This meme pokes fun at the fact that this character, created by Katya, was ready for the RuPaul’s Drag Race runway at 8 p.m. and then was heading out to lead a revolution at 9 p.m.

The subtitles read, “I feel my socialist side will balance out Hello Kitty’s decadent capitalism.”

While hilarious, one can definitely understand why Katya’s word-choice and themes did not sit well with the team behind Hello Kitty.

4 ALASKA’S 2017

The year 2017 was a rough year for many people around the world. There were shootings in concerts in Las Vegas and Manchester. There was Hurricane Harvey in Texas, Hurricane Irma in the Caribbean, and a destructive earthquake in Mexico.

There were controversial elections around the world, multiple allegations of sexual misconduct coming out in Hollywood, and a general feeling of political instability.

This meme, which features a glamorous Alaska Thunderf*ck alongside a bloody, fallen version of her, definitely depicts how many of us felt throughout 2017: starting out the year with a smile and ending the year crying on the ground.

Alaska, the winner of All-Stars 2, is one of the most meme-friendly contestants that the franchise has ever had.

Over time, Alaska has gained a greater awareness of her influence regarding “gay internet culture,” and constantly tries to provide the LGBTQ community with songs, music videos, and pictures that we laugh about.

For instance, Alaska released a song titled “Valentina” to the beat of “Despacito,” then a Brazil-inspired “Come To Brazil” track that poked fun at the “please come to Brazil” meme.

Alaska also went on tour alongside Courteney Act and Willam on The AAA Girls Tour, which featured songs and jokes from the three queens.

3 I DON’T KNOW HOW TO SEW

Ten seasons of Drag Race and three seasons of All-Stars later, it is hard to believe that there are still drag queens that come on the show not knowing even the first thing about how to operate a sewing machine.

One of the most notable examples of this fact is Shangela, who was heavily criticized on seasons 2 and 3 about not knowing how to sew, and came to Drag Race: All-Stars 3 once again without having learned much about sewing.

BeBe Zahara Benet, winner of Drag Race season 1 and contestant on All-Stars 3, also did not seem very skilled at sewing, and relied on Aja to help her put together an outfit during a particular challenge on All-Stars.

Historically, queens have been very open about now knowing how to sew, a fact that has made RuPaul somewhat irritated.

Part of the RuPaul’s belief system is that anybody can do anything if they put their minds to it, and it bothers him to see a defeatist attitude from contestants who use their lack of sewing abilities as excuses to why they performed bad during a challenge.

This meme is related to the fact that RuPaul cannot stand hearing from even one more queen that they don’t know how to sew.

2 MAX’S GRAY WIGS

Every now and then, the judges seem to really, really, really dislike a particular signature trait from one of the contestants on RuPaul’s Drag Race.

On season 10, Michelle Visage made it very clear to Dusty Ray Bottoms that she did not understand or like the queen’s signature dotted face, prompting her to change her look from the very first week.

Also on season 10, RuPaul seemed very insistent on making Monet X Change abandon her short wigs and wear a big hair for once.

Another infamous instance took place on season 7, where Max, known for always wearing gray wigs, was repeatedly told to wear a wig of a different color.

However, the thing that bothers fans about those changes is that, more often than not, contestants were sent home exactly when they finally listened to the judges and made the changes that were being requested.

On season 7, when Max finally wore a wig that was not gray, she was sent home. On season 10, when Monet X Change decided to wear a bigger wig, she was eliminated.

This meme makes fun of Drag Race by having Max tell RuPaul – as if they were going on a date – that she knew what she could expect from Max by looking at her online pictures.

1 WHEN DRAMA HAPPENS

For being such an outspoken queen with a fiery personality, season 9’s Trinity Taylor – also known as Trinity “The Tuck” Taylor – went through her entire RuPaul’s Drag Race journey without being involved in any particular drama.

Actually, on the opposite: Trinity watched a lot of drama while remaining quiet and letting the situation play out on its own.

This particular image of Trinity Taylor sipping her drink and looking terrified took place as Shea Coulee told Nina Bo’Nina Brown how she felt about Nina’s insecurities and accusations toward her and the other queens.

That fight certainly seemed like two sisters fighting with one another, thus not being open to the interactions of any of the other contestants who were there witnessing the moment.

This meme reads, “when drama that doesn’t involve me happens,” which was certainly the case for Trinity Taylor during Shea Coulee and Nina Bo’Nina Brown’s argument.

To be fair, despite not participating in the matter, it certainly seemed like Trinity was somewhat enjoying to witness the drama.

Unlike Valentina, who just decided to look down and pretend that nothing was happening during the argument, Trinity Taylor served the Drag Race cameras some hilarious reactions that were later meme-fied by the internet.

—

Can you think of any other RuPaul’s Drag Race memes that we need to see? Sound off in the comments!

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We Ranked the Top 20 RuPaul's Drag Race Queens: See Who Sashayed Their Way to No. 1!

New Post has been published on http://gossip.network/we-ranked-the-top-20-rupauls-drag-race-queens-see-who-sashayed-their-way-to-no-1/

We Ranked the Top 20 RuPaul's Drag Race Queens: See Who Sashayed Their Way to No. 1!

Nine seasons. Three All-Stars off-shoots. 113 queens. That’s a whole lot of charisma, uniqueness, nerve and talent, mama.

But not all RuPaul’s Drag Race queens are created equal.

With All-Stars 3 currently airing on new network home VH1 and the franchise’s landmark season 10 just around the corner, we thought the timing was right to open the library and read these queens to filth to determine which of Mama Ru’s girls deserved to be in our Top 20. Why? Because reading is fundamental. (And also, because any opportunity we get to talk about Drag Race as “work,” we’ll take it.)

Which queens made the cut and which had to sashay away? It wasn’t easy narrowing this down. The sheer magnitude of talent among the amazing drag queens that RuPaul has introduced the world to is truly a force to be reckoned with. This show hasn’t spawned an industry unto itself, complete with a yearly weekend-long fan convention, for no reason. And as you take a look at our list, you’ll notice that simply winning a season wasn’t enough for some queens to make the cut.

As the show has evolved and grown, so too has the talent, making it harder and harder for those early queens to edge their way in. Not that they’re not trailblazing and legendary in their own right. It’s just that, when you’re whittling the list down to 20, you’ve got to make some cuts somewhere.

So without any further ado, it’s time to put your reading glasses on and find out which of Mama Ru’s girls made our Top 20—and which one came out on top.

VH1

20. Peppermint (Season 9)

Season 9 runner-up Peppermint (real name Agnes Moore) more than lived up to her nick name “Lip Sync Assassin,” honey. She did knock three of her sisters out of the competition in sudden death lip syncs, after all. Thanks to her unwavering positivity, the warmth she brought to the competition, and her place in Drag Race history as the first already out trans woman to fight for the crown, she was the season’s true Miss Congeniality. (Sorry, not sorry, Valentina fans.)

VH1

19. Adore Delano (Season 6 & All-Stars 2)

It’s no secret that season six runner-up Adore Delano (real name Danny Noriega) struggled with her “hog body” on many a runway, but she still proved to be one of the show’s more memorable queens, nearly snatching the crown in what’s unofficially considered the best season of Drag Race ever. Between her sisterly bond with Bianca Del Rio, her delightful sense of humor, and her vocal talent (Noriega competed on season seven of American Idol out of drag), she more than earned her spot in the Top 20. It would’ve been higher, too, if she hadn’t quit All-Stars 2 in the very first episode.

VH1

18. Violet Chachki (Season 7)

There’s no denying that season seven is one of the weaker recent seasons of Drag Race and its winner, Violet Chachki (real name Jason Dardo), proves that. Though she basically snatched the crown in the season’s very first episode with her sickening dual runway outfit reveal, the fashion plate never really proved she was much more than that. If that rumored all-winners season of All-Stars ever comes to fruition, she’d have her work cut out for her.

VH1

17. BenDeLaCreme (Season 6 & All-Stars 3)

Thanks to her unrelenting effervescence and unforgettable performance as Dame Maggie Smith in Snatch Game, BenDeLaCreme (real name Benjamin Putman) had the title of season six’s Miss Congeniality on lock. But she was often too in her own head and proved to be a touch too similar to drag sister (and season five winner) Jinkx Monsoon to really pop. However, the fact that she’s slayed every competition in the currently-airing All-Stars 3 thus far proves that she shouldn’t be counted out just yet.

VH1

16. Raja (Season 3)

One of the few pre-season four queens to earn a spot in our Top 20, season three winner Raja (real name Sutan Amrull) and her editorial eye for fashion could not be ignored. She helped drive home the idea that drag could be something more than just female impersonation. With Raja, more often than not, it was damn art.

VH1

15. Jinkx Monsoon (Season 5)

Water off a duck’s back, right Jinkx Monsoon? Season five’s narcoleptic (yes, really) winner (real name Jerick Hoffer) managed to overcome the powerful and, at times, cruel Team RoLaskTox to snatch the crown and prove that comedy queens can win this competition. And her Snatch Game performance as Grey Gardens‘ Little Edie is one of the series’ best.

VH1

14. Trixie Mattel (Season 7 & All-Stars 3)

OK, hear us out on this one. Trixie Mattel (real name Brian Firkus) and her nightmarish approximation of a Barbie doll may have left everyone slightly confused during her first season, but in hindsight, we all let that overshadow her fierce wit and intellect. As she rose to fame as one half of the hosting duo for Drag Race production company World of Wonder’s web series UNHhhh, she proved that she’s just flat-out hilarious and her performance thus far on All-Stars 3 has only bolstered her place in the upper echelon of Drag Race queens.

VH1

13. Shangela (Seasons 2, 3 & All-Stars 3)

Halleloo! You didn’t think we’d look over Shangela Laquifa Wadley (real name D.J. Pierce), now did you? The only queen to compete in not one, not two, but three seasons of Drag Race (including the currently airing All-Stars 3), Shangela is undeniably one of the series’ unforgettable legends. Her arrival in season three—jumping out of a giant gift-wrapped box—and the looks on all the other queens’ faces as it happened is a must-see.

VH1

12. Courtney Act (Season 6)

One third of season six’s holy triumvirate (along with Adore Delano and Bianca Del Rio), Courtney Act (real name Shane Jenek) is one of the fishiest queens to ever compete on Drag Race. (For the uninitiated, “fish” is a drag term reserved for those who truly look like biological women. It’s a good thing.) She sometimes stood in the shadows of Adore and Bianca, but Courtney and her singing voice (Jerek competed on the first season of Australian Idol—in drag) are a star in their own right. And hearing her say her name in her Australian accent lets you know that there’s some sly wit hiding underneath all that fishiness.

VH1

11. Shea Couleé (Season 9)

Shea Couleé (real name Jaren Merrell) may have stumbled in the season nine finale, failing to deliver any of the theatrics that her sisters Peppermint and Sasha Velour did, but there’s no denying that she slayed her season. With four challenge wins and an unforgettable performance as Blac Chyna in “Kardashian: The Musical,” it seemed like the season was hers to lose. Ultimately, she did, ensuring she’d never crack the Top 10.

VH1

10. Sasha Velour (Season 9)

Why is season nine winner Sasha Velour (real name Sasha Steinberg) in the Top 10, you ask? We direct you to her not one, but two STUNNING Whitney Houston lip syncs in the season finale. Enough said. We’ll never listen to “So Emotional” or look at rose petals the same way again.

VH1

9. Latrice Royale (Season 4 & All-Stars)

As season four’s Miss Congeniality, plus-size queen Latrice Royale (real name Timothy Wilcots) entered into the competition with over two decades of drag experience under her belt—and it showed. If a bit staid in her artistic ambition, Latrice was never not entertaining, especially when she was taking us to church with her reminder that “Jesus is a biscuit” and to “let him sop you up.” And just try not to laugh while watching her performance during the “Queens Behind Bars” challenge. Say it with us now: “Get those nuts away from my face!”

VH1

8. Detox (Season 5 & All-Stars 2)

Has any queen in Drag Race history ever served up more stunning looks than season five’s Detox (real name Matthew Sanderson)? Her head-to-toe greyscale make-up at her season’s finale, where she upstaged the final three by a long shot, is EVERYTHING. And her performance in All-Stars 2, aside from the unnecessary reemergence of RoLaskaTox, proved even more that she’s a fierce queen.

VH1

7. Bob the Drag Queen (Season 8)

Thorgy Thor may have loved to complain that season eight was “The Bob Show,” but that’s because Bob the Drag Queen (real name Christopher Caldwell) completely outpaced everyone competing against her. Bob was the whole package and her series-first decision to play not one, but two different celebrities in Snatch Game (Carol Channing and Uzo Aduba) all but solidified her win.

VH1

6. Chad Michaels (Season 4 & All-Stars)

Chad Michaels is a freaking legend and if Sharon Needles hadn’t competed against her in season four, she’d have walked away with the crown easily. Hell, the All-Stars format was essentially invented so that RuPaul could give the expert Cher impersonator a crown of her own. If that’s not Top 10 material, we don’t know what is.

VH1

5. Alyssa Edwards (Season 5 & All-Stars 2)

Alyssa Edwards (real name Justin Johnson) has competed for the crown twice now, and twice she’s come up short. But that hasn’t stopped her from becoming one of the franchise’s most memorable queens. Her rivalry with Coco Montrese lead to some of season five’s juiciest drama and most hilarious one-liners courtesy of the tongue-popping queen. “Girl, look how orange you f–king look, girl,” ranks up there as one of her best. But who can forget her priceless reaction to Jade Jolie‘s insinuation that she’s carrying some back fat? Say it with us now: “Back rolls?!”

VH1

4. Katya (Season 7 & All-Stars 2)

In a perfect world, Katya (real name Brian McCook) would’ve been handed the crown she so clearly deserved in season seven. There are few queens in Drag Race history who’ve displayed as much innovation, wit and talent as Katya. (Like, only the three above her on this list, TBH.) She routinely stole the show during her time on All-Stars 2 and though she didn’t win, her rap during the legendary performance of “Read U Wrote U” will stand the test of time as one of Drag Race‘s best performances.

VH1

3. Sharon Needles (Season 4)

When Sharon Needles (real name Aaron Coady) arrived on the scene in season four, her “genderf–k” horror-show style of drag completely changed the idea of what was possible and permissible on Drag Race. Though she routinely faced attacks from season villain Phi Phi O’Hara, who told her to go back to Party City “where you belong,” she got the last laugh, thanks to her genuine warmth, wit and artistry. She helped to revolutionize the show, though her performance in the final “Glamazon” music video challenge proved she was also capable of melding her unique vision with Mama Ru’s eleganza approach to drag, elevating her to the crown and her spot on this list.

VH1

2. Alaska (Season 5 & All-Stars 2)

Hieee! In season five, Alaska (real name Justin Honard) proved just how perfect she was for this competition. There was her hilarious fragrance commercial parody for “Red For Filth…” Her wig-snatching performance in the “Reading is Fundamental” challenge. Her creation of Lil Pound Cake. She lost the crown to Jinkx Monsoon, but then she returned for All-Stars 2, newly sober and ready to win. And boy did she. Between her unbelievable Mae West in Snatch Game and her second stand-out commercial parody, she more than proved why she’s one of the all-time greats. Sure, her elimination choices deserve all the side-eye in the world, but none of them take away from her killer performance and her place in the Drag Race Hall of Fame.

VH1

1. Bianca Del Rio (Season 6)

Did you expect anyone else? In the history of Drag Race, there’s no one who even comes close to season six winner Bianca Del Rio (real name Roy Haylock). She is, without a doubt, one of the funniest queens to ever vie for the title of America’s Next Drag Superstar, but underneath all that sarcasm and sass, there lies a heart of gold. Not threatened, she took Adore Delano under her wing, mentoring her throughout their season, all the while slaying competition after competition. Her Snatch Game performance as Judge Judy was one of her riskiest moves that paid dividends (Judge Judy is one of RuPaul‘s biggest idols), her rapping in the “Oh No She Betta Don’t” team challenge had us crying tears of laughter, and her work in the final “Sissy That Walk” music video proved this comedy diva is one hell of an eleganza queen as well. If that all-winners season of All-Stars ever does happen, there’s no doubt that she’s the one to beat.

RuPaul’s Drag Race All-Stars 3 airs Thursdays at 8 p.m. on VH1.

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