#Keith really is the sister wife

[klaissance]

nobody asked but here is my pitch for a princess and the pauper klance au

Princess Allura of Altea generally likes her life. She lives in a palace with her father, King Alfor, her quirky tutor and longtime friend Coran, and her lady-in-waiting Romelle who she definitely is not in love with. Don't worry about it.

Her being totally not in love with Romelle is something to not worry about at all because actually, as of fairly recently, Allura is engaged! To a man (ew) she's never met (double ew): Prince Keith of Marmora. Their matrimony is to solidify an alliance between Altea and Marmora which, if everyone's being honest, is mostly to haul Altea out of its recent troubles. The kingdom is floundering and its people have been suffering for too long; this alliance with Marmora offers a fresh start and a royal wedding promotes economic stimulation, etc etc politics politics

Allura loves her people and her father so she's gonna suck it up and do this. But she can't and won't be jazzed about it all the time. Sometimes she wishes she could be anyone but herself, with the freedom to make selfish choices.

Anyway down in the town there is this boy named Lance McClain and he just so happens to have a vaguely similar facial structure to Altea's princess (rip this has to be a blue-eyed Lance story to work, huh) and he works at the dress emporium under Monsieur Iverson who is, frankly, an abusive boss. But Iverson is funding Lance's sister's education. The McClains need this, and so Lance pricks his fingers and works every waking hour for pennies that he never even gets to see. Lance loves his family so he's gonna do it but he can't and won't be jazzed about it all the time. Sometimes he wishes he could be anyone but himself, with the freedom to make selfish choices.

do u feel me on this guys

also Allura has five cats named Onyx, Ruby, Emerald, Sapphire, and Topaz and she loves them very much. But Sapphire has been acting strange recently...

Lance has this cat that he calls Blue that he doesn't actually have but she shows up night after night at his window and he feeds her and she lays on his lap while he works and he loves her very much

......it's the same cat *hold for applause*

anyway Romelle takes Allura into town to "run errands" or something but really it's just a date and one of Allura's last tastes of freedom before she gets hitched to whoever this Keith dude is

and Sapphire slips away and dashes through the streets and Allura chases her down and finds her perched on a windowsill in an alley being fed by a stranger who looks a little familiar and oh--

Lance and Allura finally meet and look at each other and are like woah we could definitely be siblings genetics are so weird

Bonded by their shared cat they get along splendidly and have a nice and surprisingly deep talk about their respective plights, and Allura promises to call on Lance soon

The next morning Coran and Romelle go to the princess only to find her bed empty save for a note that says she's taken the cats and run away...

The note is sus and then Sapphire shows up (from spending the night at Lance's.) Coran and Romelle know Allura would never leave just Sapphire behind, so they're immediately Not Buying It but they don't know who they can trust, and also this is a disaster because Prince Keith and his entourage are literally coming to visit today so they need to fix this asap

Romelle remembers the boy from the village who looked weirdly like Allura and she has the best/worst idea of all time...

Cue "To Be A Princess" as performed by Coran and Romelle at Lance, who by the end of the song is unclockable he's so good at princess cosplay

When "Allura" appears at dinner as scheduled, Alfor's advisor Zarkon and his shitty son Lotor are shook but they stay quiet

you guys lotor as preminger is so funny pLEASE

AND THEN KEITH SHOWS UP

Keith and his diplomat friends, The Holts, and his captain of the guard Shiro, pull up to dinner to meet Keith's future wife

Keith's a gay man he's not thrilled about this. She's certainly a handsome woman, if her portraits are to be believed, but there's nothing to be done about it. Lifelong bummer for Keith. Such is princedom.

So Keith and co. show up in Altea and they meet the princess and Keith swears she's a little broader in the shoulders and sharper in the jaw than he'd expected but chalks it up to shitty portraiture. He'll hire the court painter from Marmora when they're married.

Lance in his princess costume is like "oh lord he's fine" but then they go on a bunch of weird dates and mostly bicker a bunch because Keith hates that he's forced to be here and Lance is just sort of like that

meanwhile Allura's like busting her own ass out of the mines and lotor sings how can i refuse *hold for standing ovation*

and since Sapphire didn't get kidnapped with the other cats she's still around and Lance talks to her in the bath and is generally just being silly goofy and Keith happens to walk by and hear Lance talking in his normal tone to somebody named "Blue" and the door happens to be a little open and Keith happens to peek--he doesn't even know why he literally doesn't even like women--and wait just a fucking second that is a boy and a wig on the floor and Keith to himself is like 'um should i complain about being lied to, something wack is going on here' and then he's like 'wait I'm gay and he's hot let's see how this plays out' and says nothing LMAO

but then their little dates get way more interesting because Keith is trying to tease out this secret and also is like,, actually interested

maybe they do a horseback riding date where Lance gets to wear pants and have the big platinum wig tied back and he feels a little more like himself and he and Keith hardly even bicker anymore they just sort of have a great time together and Lance feels a little insane for this whole thing but he really likes him but he has to tell him the truth and he's literally about to admit it

but then Lotor comes back from checking on Allura in the mines and knows the princess at the palace is a fake so he calls Lance out and rips the wig off, the whole thing, and Lance is thrown in the dungeon when moments ago he was literally a hair's breadth away from kissing Keith on the mouth UGH life is so cruel

Lotor and Zarkon convince Alfor that Allura is dead and they plot to strike and stage their coup during her funeral or something idk

But meanwhile Romelle and Allura and the cats are power-lesbianing their way out of the mines, and meanwhile meanwhile Keith busts Lance out of jail and they go also to the mines to try to save Allura

just four gays and their cats standing at the mines like ok what now

they bust into the funeral proceedings and wreck Lotor's shit, Allura definitely throws him over her shoulder and skips him like a rock and they explain everything to Alfor

Lotor and Zarkon go to jail and Altea is saved even without the marriage alliance because Allura and Romelle found extra stores of quintessence locked in the geodes in the mines or whatever

Lance is now so thoroughly sponsored by not one but two royal families that his family will want for nothing ever again--his siblings are put on royal scholarship to any school of their choosing in either Altea or Marmora. Lance himself has always wanted to travel, so he does, and he writes letters to Keith the whole time and when he returns Keith is waiting for him and they do a big gay double wedding with Allura and Romelle just like in the Barbie movie <3

the end

[enemyoflactose]

I finished Battle City

So for my redemption arc, I have finished both Duelist Kingdom and Battle City.

I think I may have gotten worse.

I'll start by talking about voice acting and which one I prefer:

Bakurae: I like both Ted Lewis and Rica Matsumoto's performances. They both did amazing and I am so bi for their voices.

Marik: His goofy ass skeletor voice is not it. It's funny as hell, but he just sounds better in the sub.

Odion: I like both

Ishizu: I like both

Everyone else: could go either way

Characters:

Yugi didn't really do a lot at the start, and everything I want to say about him happens in his duel with Joey. Honestly, I don't like how in the anime he doesn't play much of a role.

Yami Yugi: this man... This man.

Téa: I love her. Honestly. She gave like zero friendship speeches this season and didn't really do much except help Yami find Ishizu.

Joey: I LOVE JOEY WHEELER.

Tristan: he's there. I don't like how he treats Serenity.

Serenity: I actually really like her. She's not the most realistic sister character, but I still like her.

Duke: my guy, leave the girl alone.

Marik: I can't take him seriously. I just can't. He sounds like Skeletor, his plans are stupid, he can barely duel, he's a coward, he dresses ugly, mother fucker uses Revival Jam, this happened

How am I supposed to take him seriously?! Also, his backstory didn't do anything for me. Like, yeah what he went through was awful, but it just feels like an excuse. It felt like Ishizu and Odion were trying to justify Marik's behavior and say he did nothing wrong and should be forgiven. (Also, I saw a post about how Joey should have showed Marik sympathy. They blocked me when I said that was stupid)

Ishizu: she's such a great character. Her love for her siblings feels real, she's a snarky dork, her duel with Kaiba is fantastic, and she's pretty.

Odion: Am I supposed to feel bad for him? Not because he was horrifically abused I do feel bad about that, but with the way he was treating Marik... My guy was an enabler. Of course Marik is still evil under your care, you haven't done anything to help him be good. He just rolls over and lets Marik do what he wants because he doesn't want to betray his oath or something.

Mai: literally so cool. I'll actually get to talking about her in a bit.

Kaiba: iconic.

Mokuba: he takes his duel commissioner job so seriously it's adorable. He just pops up out of nowhere to catch people cheating and then Kaiba comes along to scare the cheater when they don't listen to Mokuba.

Regular Bakura: B-baby boy???

Yami Bakura: I'd literally bend over for him. He can have all of my possessions. Anyway I feel like he went through some character assassination this season. He just doesn't seem like a threat, but I guess that's how abusers get ya because he stabs Regular Bakura.

Arkana: I've said it once and I'll say it again, I am a sap. I felt so bad for this guy. First his magic show goes wrong, then his face gets mangled, then his wife leaves him, then he gets indoctrinated into Marik's cult, then he almost dies by saw blade, then he actually dies.

Lumis and Umbra: these two are gay and dating.

Strings: there is nothing there.

Mako and Weevil are pretty much the same.

Espa Roba: he's a cheater.

Duels:

Bandit Keith vs Yugi Moto (Duel 1)

The first duel of the season introduces us to Marik. We learn that he wants the puzzle and has a magic rod that can mind control people.

This duel shows off that Yugi is not yet as good a duelist as Yami because this loser gets fucking cooked.

Yami Bakura shows up and breaks Keith free. This makes Marik a little annoyed.

Marik makes Keith break the puzzle.

Bakura comes in and helps Yugi fix it, but he puts a little piece of his soul in the puzzle because of reasons that are never explained.

Bakura leaves and Keith burns the building down.

Joey and Tristan save Keith and Yugi.

Yami Yugi vs Jonny Steps (Duel 2)

I am not talking about the duel you suckers. I'm talking about what happened before the duel!

Yami and Téa go on a date. During this date they go on wacky high jinks and Yami gets Light Force Sword.

After dueling Jonny Steps, they go to the museum and meet Ishizu. She tells them that Yami is actually an ancient Egyptian pharaoh and he needs to save the world by joining Kaiba's tournament and winning it. Also he needs three Egyptian God Cards.

Joey vs That one guy (duel 3)

Joey gets Exodiad and feels so bad that he doesn't go and visit his sister in the hospital.

He also lost his Red Eyes Black Dragon.

Tristan finds him on the beach and shows Yugi and Téa who he found (fuck you 4kids)

Kaiba vs the machine (duel 4)

OBELISK, FIST OF FATE!!!!!

Yami vs the one guy(duel 5)

Yami beats Exodia and wins back Joey's Red Eyes.

Joey declined it.

Joey vs Espa Roba (duel 6)

In this duel Joey faces an alleged psychic who had already defeated Rex Raptor.

Rex tries to help Joey for a little bit, but stops like half way through the duel.

During this duel, Espa is talking about the universe and how he can't lose and shit like that and Joey's just clowning on him.

Espa Roba has his brothers up on a building helping him win duels.

Joey figures this out.

Joey wins the duel.

Some guy in the audience says "Espa couldn't predict he'd be a loser", and I think that's funny.

Joey got a Jinzo!! The only good card he'll get this whole tournament.

Yami vs Arkana (duel 7)

Yami faces a magician who's all like "Aren't you SO sad that your precious Dark Magician is in the deck of another duelist???!"

Some bullshit happens, Dark Magician is sentient and saves Yami, Dark Magician Girl is summoned by Dark Magic Curtain, there's shadow blades, guillotine-chan is here, apparently there's no service in the tent.

Yami wins.

Arkana dies or something it was really unclear.

Joey vs Weevil Underwood (duel 8)

Joey got his deck and Duel Disk stolen by some mustache and had a card put In it.

Joey and Weevil duel ata fountain.

During this duel Weevil calls out to the Parasite Paracide card in Joey's deck and turns all of Joey's monsters into insect cards.

Weevil brings out Perfectly Ultimate Great Moth. Joey destroys it.

Weevil brings out his Insect Queen and talks about how much he wants to fuck it. Joey destroys the Insect Queen and wins it.

Joey gained the worst card of the season.

Yami and Kaiba vs some guys (duel 10)

Kaiba uses Lord of D and two Flute of Summoning Dragon to summon three dragons and then he summons Obelisk and then he wins the duel and takes some locator cards.

Joey Wheeler vs Mako (duel 11) ft. Marik falling for the Bakura sham.

Joey and Mako duel.

Joey is putting on the world's greatest show, and is told to stop because it's "embarrassing and taking to long"

Joey tries to use Parasite Paracide, but flip monsters haven't been invented yet.

MEANWHILE

Marik almost runs over Bakura.

BACK TO THE DUEL

Mako is telling a son story about his dad and how Legendary Fisherman is his dad and he loves his dad so he has to win the duel for his dad because he loves him ever so much.

MEANWHILE

Yami Bakura is talking mad shit and Marik's all like "This idiot has NO idea that to open the door to darkness he needs the Egyptian God Cards."

What if my guy was talking 'bout Kingdom Hearts?

BACK TO THE DUEL

Mako used a ritual card 🤮

Now Joey has to find the fisherman and attack.

Joey finds the fisherman and attacks. Mako gets sad. Loser deserved it tho for using rituals.

Joey uses some gambling cards and oh no

MEANWHILE

Bakura puts his scam into action and says he's a strong duelist (He's aight.)

Marik doesn't even fact check this and makes a deal with him.

The rod for a god card.

BACK TO THE DUEL

Joey uses Panther Warrior to wipe out the ritual card 🤮, and wins the duel.

Joey has gained Legendary Fisherman! Not as bad as the last card, but Joey you have a shitty deck how do you keep winning???

Seto and Yami vs Lumis and Umbra (duel 12)

THERE'S ANOTHER FUCKING RITUAL CARD!!!! AND IT'S NOT EVEN A GOOD ONE!

It's awful, it sucks, it's worthless, they should have just used level cards

This duel is not worth my time.

Yami and Seto win.

We interrupt this essay to talk about important stuff that happened out of duels:

Bakura got stabbed

Mokuba, Téa, and Joey got kidnapped

Tristan ran for an hour with a teenage girl on his back

Duke hit some guy with dice

Mai met Serenity

Joey got mind controlled

Téa girl mind controlled

Joey vs Yugi/Yami (duel 13)

I cried during this duel

Joey got mind controlled by Marik and is evil and dueling Yugi for the puzzle and they're also strapped to this anchor that's gonna drag them to the bottom of the ocean in an hour and oh my God this duel

Téa's life is also being threatened but she's a badass who doesn't care.

Kaiba can't help because then Téa will die.

Joey was given all these rare cards and is using them against Yugi.

Yugi is so scared to attack because he doesn't wanna hurt Joey.

Yugi is so fucking sweet I love him so much.

Yami is just in the corner like "you good Yugi?" And "Oh no!!! Joey!!" I love them so much

Yugi ends up giving the puzzle to Joey so he can fight Marik better, he summons R d eyes black dragon to get through to him, this shit is just barely working I HATE THIS DUEL

Marik is being a whiny little bitch ass loser because his mind control is failing

Joey breaks free after attacking Yugi then he uses the effect of some mirror card to attack himsefl

Joey and Yugi both plummet to the ocean, Yugi is saved by Joey and Joey is saved by serenity.

I LOVE JOEY WHEELER

Meanwhile at the hospital

Yami Bakura vs Bonz (duel 14)

This episode is so fucking good. The animation, the duel, BONZ IS HERE

This duel starts off with Yami Bakura already being kinda annoyed. He just got jumped so it makes sense.

He summons a headless knight and it gets destroyed.

He destroys Bonz's cards.

Bonz fuses Medusa and crawling dragon to get... An elephant?

Then Bonz activates that one card that makes you lose life points for every card sent to the graveyard. Yami Bakura responded by fucking cheating and just tossing his hand to the graveyard.

Then he summons Earl of Demise and Bonz puts him in a cage.

Then Yami Bakura uses ectoplasmer and wipes out Bonz's life points and sends him to hell the Shadow Realm.

Mai vs Jean Clawed Magnum (duel 19)

I am not talking about this duel other than

Joey x Mai supremacy

We love polarshipping

Stuff that happens before the finals

The gang is shocked at the idea of Regular Bakura dueling (rude)

Tristan can't flirt

The gang raid Joey's pantry

A bingo machine

Yami Bakura pretends to be Regular Bakura and messes with Joey by saying shit like "Cheerio" and "fellows"

Marik does stuff

Odion gets threatened a few times

Ishizu shows up late

Mai drinks censored wine

Yami Bakura vs Yami (duel 15)

This shit is so hype

It starts off with Yami Bakura being dog shit and summoning weak cards (it's for a plan), and Yami and the gang just ragging on him and insulting him.

Then Bakura summons Dark Necrofear, but he doesn't attack because he's scared that Yami's face down card is a trap (reasonable)

Dark Necrofear gets destroyed by a buffed Dark Magician Girl, but this was all part of the an because now Yami Bakura can use not only his Destiny Board (worst win strat ever), but he can also use Dark Sanctuary.

At this point in the duel, Yami Bakura is cooking. He is dominating.

He got out his Dark door, Yami can't attack more than once. He got his spirit redirecting attacks at Yami. He's cooking something delicious.

Then Yami special summons Dark Necrofear and now Yami Bakura can't use his strategy.

Unless he summons Jougen the Spiritualist!

Now the sanctuary is back and he can keep up with his shitty win strat.

Then Yami summons Slifer and he contemplates death.

Marik makes Odion walk over and go "I release Bakura from the spirit" and Bakura starts dying and at this point my shipping senses start going nuts.

This duel has become a love triangle between Regular Bakura, Yami Bakura, And Yami Yugi.

But that's not important.

Bakura doesn't like this strategy because it's for cowards and he's worried Yami will attack his host. (Reasonable. The Yami he knows probably would've)

Yami meanwhile doesn't wanna attack Regular Bakura because that's his friend.

No one has told this boy to just surrender.

Yami Bakura takes control of Regular Bakura again and tells Yami to attack him

Then Yugi tells Yami that he did that because he needs Bakura, not because he liked him. (This is untrue if I believe hard enough)

Regular Bakura is knocked out and the ring is gone.

Joey vs Odion (duel 16)

Joey is talking shit.

Odion keeps setting and passing

And oh what's this?? FLASHBACK

Odion was abandoned on the door step of Marik's and Ishizu's parents. He was raised by them but never truly accepted.

He wanted the tomb keeper initiation to become accepted, but he was adopted. So that didn't happen.

DUEL

Joey's losing

FLASHBACKS

Odion was Marik's best friend and watched their mother die immediately after Marik was born.

He vowed to protect Marik.

DUEL

Odion has trap monsters and Joey is surprised by this.

A massive scorpion monster thing is summoned and Joey says

"Are you really Marik?"

Then Marik has a temper tantrum and tells Odion to summon Ra. Odion summons Ra and fucking dies.

Then Joey dies.

FLASHBACK

Odion watched as Marik got his tomb keeper initiation and afterwards he did his own initiation.

DUEL

Odion tries to get up, but he doesn't.

MEANWHILE IN JOEY DREAMLAND

Joey is having a dream about his friends helping him get ready for a tournament and he can't get up.

DUEL

Joey gets up and wins the duel.

Marik is having a migraine and then becomes Yami Marik.

Mai vs Marik (duel whatever I don't wanna check)

Marik got a fashion upgrade and looks better!!

During this duel Kaiba is edging himself waiting for Ra to be summoned.

Marik makes the duel a shadow duel and starts to erase Mai's mind.

Mai loses one memory and almost gives up immediately.

Marik continues his mind games while Joey and the gang try to help Mai out.

Mai is having non of this.

Mai steals Ra

Marik is cooking

Mai summons Ra, but Marik broke a rule because Ra is written in a foreign language without a translation.

Mai loses because she can't summon Ra and Marik attacked her, Joey, and Yami.

Final duel, Kaiba vs Ishizu

Ishizu should have won

Kaiba and Ishizu keep milling each other's deck.

Ishizu has a plan though. She saw it in her visions

Kaiba defys those visions tho and instead of summoning Obelisk, he summons the Blue Eyes White Dragon and wipes out Ishizu.

I forgot to talk about the Yami vs Strings duel

Marik is a pussy so he uses some murderer to duel

During this duel Marik is using cards like Revival Jam and Jam Breeding Machine.

He uses them to summon Slifer.

Yami is trapped in a cage.

Yami uses Revival Jam against Marik and uses it to cause Marik to lose by DECK OUT.

DECK OUT

That's embarrassing.

So yeah, I think this journey of redemption is becoming a journey of derailment instead. Wish me luck and health.

[dc-polls]

"That Really Happened?!" DC Comics Tournament Entry #20

So I Married a Protean and No One Told Me

[ID: A series of comic panels showing Garth and Ayla talking in the woods. Garth is walking with a group of proteans that look like small white bipedal blobs. One of them says, "Garth you are not. A protean you are. Human body. Without protean powers, yes... But with Proty-1 mind. Ever since resurrection..." From behind a bush Ayla exclaims, "What?!"

Garth says, "No! I've been living as Garth for twenty years! And I finally realize the... life I've built... my family... is the only thing that really matters. I can't risk losing them. Not even for Kid Quantum." The proteans ask, "Are sure? Won't come with us?" To which he responds, "I can't I'm sorry." /END ID]

What Happened?

In the Golden and Silver Age, the death of a hero was a big deal. The cycle of cynical events based around the death or return of a beloved character hadn't started yet. So it was rare and shocking when Garth "Lightning Lad" Ranzz, one of the founders of the 30th century Legion of Super-Heroes perished in battle with Zaryan the Conqueror. He stayed dead for about a year (in publishing time) until he was returned to life by the sacrifice of Chameleon Boy's pet, a shapechanging blob named Proty, by transfering its life energy to Lightning Lad's corpse by means of a lightning rod (it's 30th century science, you wouldn't get it). Chameleon Boy would later adopt another Protean pet (named Proty-II, natch) and Garth would return to active service, lose and regain an arm, and marry his sweetheart, Imra "Saturn Girl" Ardeen.

Following the very successful Paul Levitz/Keith Giffen run on the title, the DC launched volume 4 of The Legion of Super-Heroes in 1989, which would become known as the "Five Years Later" run, due to the in-universe time skip between volumes. This run was co-written by Giffen and husband and wife superfans Tom and Mary Bierbaum, who slowly started incorporating fan theories into the run. The series already had to deal with having to fix Legion continuity following Crisis on Infinite Earths, and while some of these retcons were successful (Mon-El replacing Superboy), many were controversial (Shvaughn Erin, who I will also be submitting).

Late in the run, it is revealed that the lightning rod ceremony did revive the body, but not the mind of Lightning Lad. Instead, it transferred Proty's mind into Garth's body, meaning every Lightning Lad story since 1963 had actually been a Proty story! This information is revealed to Garth's sister Ayla (Light/Lightning Lass) but, unless I am forgetting anything, not to his wife Saturn Girl! This, along with other controversial plot developments (like the destruction both the moon and the Earth) would eventually lead to DC rebooting the Legion during the Zero Hour crossover event in the mid-90s.

--

Tournament polls will be posted after all entries are up. As always you can find all posts related to the tournament using #dc-polls-trh

[awhoreintheory]

Hello! I hope you’re having a good day/night/whatever!

I was thinking about your hearts infected klance au and I love it so much and I was wondering if you had any tidbits/ideas about it you’d be comfortable sharing

If not no worries!

Hello, anon. Please marry me

ANYWAYS OF COURSE?? It's lowkey my favorite au I just suffer from a very serious illness caused commitment issues 😔 its tragic

Lance is 21, Keith 23, Shiro and Adam 29, and Krolia ans Texas are young at heart

Lance picked up Kosmo when he was a puppy while he was still traveling by car in the beginning of the zombie apocalypse

The zombie apocalypse started when a asteroid crashed into earth, containing frozen alien bacteria inside of it. Humans obviously snooped, samples collected and vials broke, and some poor bloke ended up eating a shitty lab served hamburger with a side of zombie virus!

Zombie apocalypse started in Cuba for the sole reason of angst 🤗

Lance was a med student in NYC before the zombie outbreak, and spent the first two months (its a miracle America didn't go to shit before that) helping in hospitals. Things got so dire it didn't even matter how long yoi were in med school for, hospitals were actively begging for help.

Hunk was in Hawaii at the time of the outbreak, which was a rare part of the world largely left unaffected. In the sense there were no zombies.

Shiro hasn't lost his arm (yet) but he served in the military, same with Adam.

Krolia was special forces in the military. She's like a modern day ninja.

Texas was a police man then fireman, but was largely a stay at home dad once Keith was born.

Shiro is the son of a friend Texas adopted after they died, and technically knew Texas before he even met Krolia.

Adam is from Spain and moved to America after his parents cut him off/disowned him for being gay.

Lance is the oldest sibling! He has (had) 6 younger sisters

The Koganes don't know nearly as much as Lance about zombies bc they managed to fortify their farm and live there for the first 5 months of the zombie apocalypse. They start moving toward DC after receiving a transmission from Matt to head there.

Lance was able to keep in regular contact with Pidge and Hunk before the internet finally went down 3 months into the apocalypse. Pidge tells him to head to DC.

Lance ends up from NYC to Alabama after the internet went down bc he can't read a physical map and Google maps stopped working.

Lance managed to travel by car for 4 months before he realized it was way too loud and had to ditch it.

Krolia advocates so strongly for Lance to stay with them bc she is literally like "omg a baby!"

Texas is willing to go along with anything his beautiful wife's says

Texas killed his first zombie simply bc Krolia told him to, no questions asked. He didn't even know it was a zombie. Krolia was like "kill that bastard!" And Texas was deadass like "yes my queen"

Lance didn't really have to teach Kosmo anything, he kind of just picked things up and did them.

Kosmo is the main reason Lance is alive. Kosmo listens and smells the zombies and alerts Lance.

While mindless, the zombies still have the instincts to avoid the sun as it speeds up the decaying process, thus leading to zombies being more active at night.

Zombies cannot see, they lose this as soon as they turn, but newly turned zombies can hear for the first few months before they decay too badly. At around the 6-7 month mark is when smelling is their only sense left. Despite being dead, they're very strong. They lack the coordination to run fast, but retain the instincts required to hunt.

Anyone is free to add on btw!!! I love love love zombies and theories and ideas I could go on forever about them!!!!

[elliebartlets]

veronica mars 2x11: donut run

• “Hi, ho.”

“What did you say?”

“Your uniform. Hi ho, it’s off to work you go.”

——

“He can’t see his baby.”

“A baby!? How’d that happen?”

Logan is such a sarcastic asshole

• so Logan knows Kendall and Duncan had a thing right?

• if I remember correctly, Veronica helps Duncan escape with his baby, but she pretends she doesn’t know anything. So I’m not sure if their argument/breakup is part of an act or not

• ok yeah I think she’s faking it

• wild how when Lamb comes to arrest Veronica for helping Duncan escape with the baby (like how does he even have proof of that?) Keith just stares at her. Like he thinks she might be involved and is having his doubts about her innocence.

• I really wanna know how Duncan stole the baby from the hospital or wherever and managed to escape the country without being noticed…

• yay Vinny Van Lowe is back lol

• every time Celeste is on screen I get such a visceral reaction

• it’s absolutely insane Veronica is acting so calm and like she doesn’t know anything about Duncan’s disappearance when she in fact does and helped commit a crime. Like that could never be me, I’d be shitting myself.

• Dick is in with the PCHers?? Since when?

• ay Ron Swanson’s wife. Most people know her as Xena, but I never watched that so I know her as Ron Swanson’s wife (can’t remember her name in Parks and Rec).

• Lamb trying to warn the FBI agents about Veronica and they’re like “yeah we’ve interrogated Al Qaeda members we can handle her” LMAO

• no I’m pretty sure it’s that one PCHer thumper that killed Felix and is in with the Fitzpatrick’s

• I’m confused about Wallace and this basketball stuff.

• also how long was he gone? like apparently long enough to start going to a new school in Chicago, but then he just decided to come back to Neptune High? I feel like you can’t do that

• ah ok, Wallace came back because he was part of a hit and run and has a guilty conscience

• holy crap Duncan’s been staying in the apartment next to Veronica’s???

• how has no one heard that baby cry??

• lmao Veronica is sending the FBI and lamb in two totally different directions

• oh shit Keith found diapers in Veronica’s room!!

• ok weird that Wallace tells Veronica about the hit and run and then next thing you know this guy comes to interrogate him about it??

• oh god this scene between Veronica and Keith is awful

• ok not the point of this scene but Veronica kept the panda bear Clarence Weidman sent her?? Lmao hope it’s still not bugged

• omg Duncan’s one of the hitchhikers

��� omg where’s the baby!!

• oh Vinny Van Lowe helped him lmao suck it Celeste

• and Astrid, Celeste’s maid, ran off with him aldjssh

• he named the baby Lily 🥹

• yeah so lots of thoughts lol.

I liked this episode a lot. Veronica and Duncan are very clever in this and literally manage to elude not only Sheriff Lamb (not hard to do) but also the freaking FBI. Like I have to keep reminding myself these characters are 17 years old because most people regardless of any age can’t do that. (I know it’s a TV show, but still).

I’m wondering if Duncan tried to get custody of the baby would he have succeeded? His wealth (well his parents wealth) combined with the letters of child abuse from Meg, possibly would have been in his favor but at the same time, a.) Celeste didn’t want him to be a dad nor her a grandmother, so she probably wouldn’t have helped financially, b.) those letters to CPS from Meg don’t specify that it’s her parents abusing her sister and c.) courts usually favor a mother or woman when it comes to custody. So I understand why he wanted to run away but as a single dad on the run, he isnt going to last long, unless I’m missing something and Astrid decided to run away with him?

The confrontation with Keith and Veronica was so upsetting and uncomfortable to watch. Veronica is his life and if anything happened to her, his life would be over. That being said, I love every scene (and I mean every scene) between those two. They absolutely nail the father daughter relationship. And despite Keith no longer trusting his daughter, I still remember their relationship between them being generally good?

[dnightshade0]

Voltron: fudge

Lance and his wife Elena were at Lance’s mom’s house visiting for a family get together. Everyone was talking and sharing cute and funny stories from when they were younger.

Lance’s sister Veronica began sharing the story of when they tried to sneak tastes of their mom’s fudge when she wasn’t looking.

Veronica: when we were little, mom was making hot fudge brownies. She had just got done mixing the coco powder in with the milk when the doorbell rang. She left to answer it. While she was gone, us kids snuck in and started eating the fudge. Only to blanch at the bitter taste.

Marco was like “eww gross! Why would momma make such awful tasting fudge?”

I was like “I don’t know but we better get out of here before we’re caught.”

Just as we were all about to leave, mom walks in.

She goes “what are you kids doing in here?”

We all respond “nothing!”

Mom says “were you kids sneaking a taste of the food I’m cooking.”

I go “no momma, we wouldn’t do that.”

Then Luis says “we were just… looking for you! Yeah, we wanted to know what you were making!”

Mom looks at us skeptically but answers.

“I’m making fudge brownies for dessert tonight. Now don’t you kids come back in here while I’m baking. I know how much you kids love chocolate and I don’t want you eating all my brownies and ruining you appetite.”

We go “awww!”

Mom says “get going! Chop! chop!”

We all start walking out of the kitchen. But just as we’re about to leave, Lance turns around and says.

“oh momma! I think You might want to throw out that fudge. I think it’s gone bad.”

When the story is over, everyone laughs. Luis is wiping a tear away, Marco is slapping his knee, Rachel is holding her belly in laughter. Even Elena is laughing her ass off. But Lance is not amused, instead, he is covering his face in embarrassment.

Rachel: hahaha we got in so much trouble! We were all mad at Lance for ratting us out.

Lance: omg! You guys are not going to let that go are you?! It was an honest mistake! I was trying to tell mom that the fudge was bad so she wouldn’t serve it to us after dinner! How was I supposed to know that she wasn’t done making it yet?!

Elena laughed even harder at that.

Elena: lol wow this totally beats my fudge story. Hehe

Rachel: what’s your fudge story?

Elena: well, a similar thing happened to me, except I didn’t try hiding my little crime.

Veronica: what do you mean?

Elena: you see, what happened was my mom was making a chocolate eclair cake. She was in the middle of making the fudge frosting when the phone rang. She left to go to her room to answer it and while she was gone, I saw the fudge and decided to sneak a taste.

The next sound my mom hears is me going “YUUUGGGHHH!!!”. She blinked in confusion as to what that was all about. Then I walk in, look at her and say “mom, that is the WORST fudge I’ve ever tasted!”

To which she gives me an unamused look and says “that’s cause I haven’t added the sugar yet.”

Everyone bursts out laughing.

Marco: omg! You actually outright confessed to stealing some fudge?! lol you and Lance are perfect together hahaha.

Rachel: you two are lousy at getting away with shit lol

Lance: I am not! I get away with plenty!

Momma: oh? And what exactly have you gotten away with?

Lance: uh…………… (0.0)lll

Momma: well?

Lance: will you excuse me. Suddenly I have to use the restroom!

Lance bolts out of the room. But as he’s leaving, his mom shouts.

Momma: don’t think you’re out of trouble Lance McClain! We are still gonna talk about this when you get back!

Elena: lol Lance wouldn’t last five minutes in an interrogation room. Especially if they bring you in Mrs. McClain haha.

Rachel: good cop, mom cop lmao XD

Days later, team voltron have a get together and Elena tells them about the funny fudge story conversation. Everyone laughs, except for Lance. He looks over at Keith who is laughing really hard.

Lance: what are you laughing about mullet? You find me getting interrogated by my mom amusing?

Keith: highly lol XD

Lance: oh really? Well consider this. If you think MY mom is good at getting information out of her kids. I imagine that YOUR mom must be REALLY good at getting information out of YOU. She is a blade after all. Her interrogation methods must be really hard core.

Keith stops laughing at this and looks over at his mom who smiles.

Krolia: well, he’s not wrong. I definitely have ways of getting YOU to talk lol.

Lance: speaking of which, have you told her about the time you almost got yourself killed pulling a kamikaze stunt? ^_^

Keith pales.

Krolia: he did what now?!

Keith: lance you son of a bit-

————————————————————————————-

A portion of this skit is actually a true story. The wife Elena’s fudge story is actually something that happened to me when I was younger. Up until that incident, I thought chocolate was naturally sweet. I had no idea that you had to add sugar to it.

[jones-friend]

Lol. Lmao.

I started watching One Tree Hill bc what I saw through my now estranged sister was absurd, and bc of the John Oliver clip where a dog high on marijuana eats Dan Scott’s replacement heart. I first watched all the finales back to back to back then decided to give the whole thing a run through.

In one tree hill a number of souls are shackled within the purgatory of Tree Hill, a place that causes characters to stagnate professionally and emotionally while giving illusions of growth through platitudes and unearned emotional moments. You cannot escape Tree Hill. Death isn’t even enough to escape Tree Hill. You can fall onto the pitcher plant but you cannot climb out. You are one with Tree Hill.

This is a show with no less than three serial killer arcs, a show so hungry for drama it consumes every teen drama concept before the second season leaving it nowhere to go, a show with two near fatal bridge accidents, with real ghosts that help and haunt, where teenagers and small children talk like aged adults, where we get to see the progression of culture and technology from early 00’s flip phones to early 10’s smartphones and social media, and teenagers promising rebellion instead become the forces they were so much so against in early seasons as cycles are broken yet perpetuate. This is a show where a teenager can afford an apartment by working part time at a mall food court. Its also got an incredible reinforcement of heteronormative ideals.

In this show, Ball is Life.

The biggest issue with One Tree Hill working is there needs to be a source of drama caused by the main cast. The way this works out in writing is characters often backtrack their growth to cause more drama again.

I do have a few positives. After S4 there is a time skip of 4 years. I think this actually gives good weight to S4’s finale, letting it keep that weight. And they give new struggles to the cast that don’t trivialize their previous successes while giving us something to root for. The friendship between Nathan and Lucas has genuinely compelling moments as they learn about themselves and each other.

Dan Scott is also a source of great enjoyment for me. He makes the show work. You have plotlines like “Lucas and Brooke are having relationship issues”, “Nathan wants to play basketball more”, and “Dan uses a school shooting to kill his brother Keith bc Dan was convinced he was drugged and left to burn in his dealership when really it was-“ and its just absurd every time.

I will do a character rundown of the main 5 peeps:

Lucas is the original protagonist of the show. He is half brother to Nathan and the “underdog” of S1 where he plays the river court compared to Nathan playing varsity bball. He’s described to be the more emotionally driven one between Nathan and Lucas but as the show goes on he just becomes the dumber of the two. When it comes to relationships he can’t make up his mind and goes with whatever the girl he’s with wants. This leads him to cheat multiple times and as his gf gets mad at him he squints off into the middle distance like there’s something going on but we all know there’s nothing going on behind those eyes. After the timeskip he continues dwelling on the past writing a book that is both super successful and terrible at the same time and the show just kinda makes him a washed up writer before giving him and Peyton a fairy tale ending and saying goodbye S6.

Nathan Scott is the “rich boy” bball player who starts the show as an asshole until the show decides he isnt. Nathan is the only good person in One Tree Hill. He’s the only one who’s level and tries to make reasonable choices without flying off the handle. He does have a few hilarious moments with how seriously high school bball is taken where a mafia is pressuring him to shave points off games bc they bet a lot of money on him. The biggest letdown with Nathan is he continues to beat himself up over the unrestrained anxieties of his wife-

Haley is the worst character in the show. She accuses Nathan of cheating at least 5 times in the show despite nothing indicating that, the most egregious of which is when she snoops and finds Nathan’s valentines day gifts for her and accuses them of being for someone else. This is second to a rando accusing Nathan of sleeping with her after he becomes famous and after a few days she decides to believe the rando over her husband of 4-5 years. She just lets her anxieties get the better of her and it makes her mean to Nathan for 75% of their screentime.

Brooke! One of my least favorite characters of s1-4 and one of the stronger of 5-9. Brooke starts as a party girl who just kinda starts shit for the sake of starting shit. When the show needs drama they turn to her for it most times and it makes her later high school bits feel less genuine. After the timeskip shes in charge of a multi million dollar clothing company (if you’re noticing a trend the timeskip changes characters from relatable high schoolers to wildly successful in their field). She matures out of that shit starter mentality and slides into Lucas’s spot as protagonist (a loose term with so many characters). Her and Nathan undergo the most growth. I also did appreciate and resonate with her graduation arc in that she didn’t really feel the same drive as her classmates.

Shit with Peyton is wild. She has 3 sudden family member reveals: one is Laura Palmer who dies almost immediately, one is serial killer arc #1, and the last is one of the show’s rare black characters who’s a marine thats very quickly sent out to war (Bush era politics). She is a musician, artist, she dates the lead singer from Fallout Boy somewhat seriously (that’s canon, its not the lead singer as a character, in universe he’s also the lead singer of Fallout Boy. He comes by in a limo and goes on tours). Her and Lucas are supposed to be the will they won’t they but with three female leads and two male leads Brooke kind of gets left behind S4 in a smaller capacity. In the timeskip she goes on to become a producer instead of a musician which always felt odd, then after her and Lucas depart they beach ball her label around without knowing what to do with it. Also casting has an issue where they hire sameface women and Peyton was the only one I could reliably identify.

If youre interested in watching One Tree Hill it depends how much time youre willing to sink into it. S1-8 are 22ish episodes long each and each episode is 42mins. I don’t think every episode is worthwhile unless you come at it with the analytical mind of having watched good prestige TV so you can pick apart characters more than the show wants you to.

For those just looking for a casual good time watch S1E1 then watch all the finales back to back to back. Its wild, so much happens you just have to adjust for. Its actually great.

If you REALLY wanna get your hands dirty the entire show is a nostalgia trip into the 00’s complete with famous bands of the time, tech, and norms. This is good and bad as you’ll watch them try to handle a bisexual character in the early 00’s. Also watching Dan Scott dunk on literal high schoolers never gets old.

I DON’T WANNA BE ANYTHING OTHER THAN WHAT I’VE BEEN TRYIN BE LATELY

[thecagedsong]

Hey, who wants the first chapter of a fic I have no idea where to take? It would just be an ugly unfinished work on AO3, so I thought, why not unleash it as a tumblr exclusive? Note I have no idea for building the plot or the OC cast necessary to go along with this, so anyone who wants to take this idea and comment or continue, go for it. 

The Pirate Adventure (written long before the game concept art came out, fyi)

Katarina arrived early at the castle. Geordo had sent her an urgent invite two days ago, so here she was. At least it was her off day at work so they wouldn’t miss her helping carry packages. Keith had come along like usual.

“I haven’t been here since the International Assembly,” Keith said as they were escorted through the entrance hall.

“Me neither, I wonder if I could stay for the glorious bath service again? Do you think I could squeeze it in? I’ve never felt so relaxed in my life! Though it will be less fun without Sophia and Mary,” she mused.

“Nope, it is entirely improper to ask for a bath,” Keith said quickly. “We’ll just see what he wants. If we get this over with quickly enough, we’ll have time to visit some of the bakeries in the Capitol while we’re here.”

“What a good idea!” Katarina said. “What do you think this is about?”

“Nothing good,” Keith said.

“What makes you say that?”

“Katarina!” Mary’s voice called as they entered a sitting room. “I didn’t realize you were going to be here. Alan just said I needed to visit because the Queen had some questions.”

“Important ones too,” Prince Alan said, walking into the room with his twin.

“Keith, my how your reading comprehension skills have fallen in the past year,” Prince Geordo said. “Though I don’t know how you could misinterpret ‘Keith is not allowed to come’. It’s a statement so plain a six-year-old would understand it.”

“If that didn’t work the first twenty times you tried to prevent me from accompanying my sister, I don’t see why adding the words ‘I am serious. Keith may not come by order of the Crown,’ would keep me away,” Keith said, smiling just as pleasantly.

“Oh, I don’t know, possibly because the crown giving this order isn’t my little brother’s, but my father’s?” Prince Geoffrey said, walking in with Lady Randall on his arm. “Now we’re going to have to swear you to secrecy about the fact that this meeting took place at all and still send you to wait for your sister in the stables.”

“Wait, w-what?” Keith stammered. “Prince Geoffrey, what are you doing here?”

“Garlan, please see to it that Lord Claes understands the secrecy of this meeting, then escort him to wait for his sister in the library.” Prince Ian said, standing up from a couch that had been facing the wrong way for Katarina to see him. “We’re not heathens Geoffrey, we don’t have to make him wait in the stables.” He helped Lady Selena stand up and handed Keith the book he had been reading. “Here, the history of early Sorcier is fascinating, don’t you think? Enjoy it while you wait.”

“As you request, your Highness,” a servant said.

Keith shot Mary a look as the servant Garlan pulled him from the room.

Katarina smiled and waved at him, hopefully convincing her brother she wasn’t going to do anything foolish, before turning to the group. “So why am I here? Lady Suzanna can help the Queen better with anything Ministry related, and Mary with anything political.”

Suzanna cooed, “You really are the most precious thing. Go on Geordo, convince her.”

Prince Geordo sighed and stepped up close to Katarina, carefully placing her hand on his arm in proper escort position. Looking her straight in the eyes, he said, “You are here because you are going to be my wife after we get married. This is a family meeting that affects all of us, so Mother and Father thought it appropriate for everyone to discuss it together.”

“Ah,” Mary said gently, and laid her hand delicately on Alan’s arm. She glanced at Alan, then back to Geordo, “Is it that time already?”

“No, not quite yet, but it draws ever closer, and we have to consider information that affects that,” Prince Geoffrey said. “No one besides us and Keith Claes know that this meeting is more than individual private dates. Aside from Garlan, no servant is attending us. Mother and Father are waiting for us in Mother’s Tea Room. Not even the most skilled wind magic can eavesdrop in there, so it is where we hold private and essential family meetings. We best not keep them waiting.”

“Well put,” Prince Ian agreed, leading his fiancée out a different door than where keith went. Prince Geoffrey and Lady Suzanna followed, and after a moment, so did Alan and Mary.

“Are you tired? You’re walking slower than normal,” Katarina asked as they fell further behind his brothers.

“I wanted to make sure you understood something before you hear everything,” Prince Geordo said. “I will pick you over being King every time, though I hope you are willing to stick with me and become Queen if that’s the only way to keep Sorcerier politically stable. Do you understand?”

“What? Geordo, I’d make a terrible Queen. I’m not cut out to be royalty at all,” she denied automatically.

“The thing about being royalty, is that you have the power to be whatever kind of royal you wish, and that becomes the standard for what it means to be royal,” he said calmly. “Do you understand?”

“Not really. But aren’t we keeping your parents waiting?” she asked, still not quite ready to address the question of Prince Geordo’s feelings, though the time was growing nearer where she promised to give her answer.

“They can wait, and so can I. I’ll wait however long it takes me to convince you of how wonderful you are and how much I love you,” Prince Geordo said, making her blush. “But since you don’t want to be Queen, I don’t want to be King. Can you understand that much?”

Her eyebrows drew together, “but you’re so perfect, you’d be so good at it! People respect you, they follow what you say, and you’re smart enough to make the right decisions and clever enough to see them through. Threatening enough that people won’t challenge you, and kind enough to make sure no one ever wants to.”

He pressed a kiss to her hand, “You have no idea how much I adore you for saying that,” he said, the closeness making her blush. “But I’m only this good of a person when I have someone to protect and someone to remind me to be kind. If you can’t trust my reasoning right now, trust that I do not want to be king. And trust yourself. Alan and I are going to ask you something, and I want you think hard if it is something you would enjoy and think of nothing else. Promise me that, and we can catch up with the others.”

“I promise,” she said, meeting his eyes. Whether something would be fun is always one of her considerations.

He pulled away and led her the rest of the way to the Queen’s tea room. It was kind of odd that the most private room in the castle was the Queen’s tea room, shouldn’t it be like the state room or the King’s office or something?

Ten chairs were set up and Prince Geordo led her to a pair of chairs between Alan and Lady Selena.

“Thank you all for coming, we apologize for the false pretenses,” the Queen said, standing up to pour tea from a huge teapot. She served everyone there, which was odd, but you didn’t tell the queen what to do in her own tearoom.

Oh, that’s probably what Geordo meant by royalty defining what it means to be royal. Mother would have had her or Keith serve the tea, but the Queen could just say ‘I’m going to serve the tea today’ and everyone has to go along with it. That was kind of cool.

“Please, I’m dying of curiosity,” Suzanna said. “Geordo already hinted that this isn’t the official King’s Choice, so what are we here for?”

And out came the whole long story. And it was a story, like something out of one of her books. A royal ship had gone rogue and was pirating other ships, both from Sorcerie and other nations, captained by a wind mage, Selena’s brother, who had either abruptly turned traitor or was under the influence of dark magic. The political implications damaging Prince Ian and Lady Selena’s reputation international and domestically as a throne candidate, possibly swaying his faction to Prince Geordo or Prince Alan and Mary.

Larna looked enthralled, Selena looked to be on the verge of tears no matter how often everyone affirmed that they didn’t blame her for Katarina’s kidnapping or her brother’s possible betrayal. Mary was perfectly poised, like she was preparing for a test. All the princes looked serious, even Geoffrey, who could come off as a goofball.

“Pardon my forwardness,” Mary said, setting aside her teacup, “But I must ask this question to fully understand the situation. Do any of you princes wish to be King? And Your Majesty, I understand you have delayed picking an heir to allow Prince Geoffrey and Prince Ian to clean up corruption in the court, but please confirm if you intend to pick an heir or if you intend to allow the legislature vote one of your sons into your position.”

“I don’t,” Prince Alan said right off the bat.

“I do not either, though I will if the other option is a civil war because none of us were willing,” Prince Geordo said. “A responsibility, not a desire.”

“It is more a responsibility than a desire for me as well,” Prince Ian said, “Though I am less opposed to it than Geordo. I have long understood that this position might fall to me, and am ready to accept it, though I know I will depend on my brothers’ aid should I assume Kingship.”

“I don’t want it at all,” Prince Geoffrey laughed. “It keeps me from much more interesting and important endeavors, but there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for my brothers, so I’ll do it since none of them want to.”

“Thank you,” Mary nodded, perfectly poised. “And Your Majesty?”

“I would rather not be the one who decides which of my sons bears the burden of the crown,” the King admitted. “Though I am proud that all of them acknowledge it as a duty rather than a prize. I believe it speaks well to our parenting that you all desire happiness over power. When I set this law to prevent the recurrence of the blood bath that heralded my reign, I didn’t realize how difficult this choice would be. I have documents naming my heir in the event of my death that my wife and the Prime Minister have seen, but I intend to let the legislature create a system for selecting the monarch out of the proper generation and family of heirs. I believe it is the most likely path to a continued peace for my family and my country. Also my sons would understand that if they are chosen as heir, it is indeed duty that compels them to the position. Does that satisfy you, Lady Hunt?”

“Yes, it does.”

“What are we going to do to get my brother back? Please, I need to know,” Selena said, holding Prince Ian’s hand. She was so brave! Katarina reached across Geordo’s chair to place a hand on her shoulder, and Selena gave a small smile in gratitude. She pulled back her hand, but Prince Geordo caught it and kissed the back of it, making her blush. He didn’t release her hand, but let it rest between them.

“Obviously we have to recover your brother and the possible black magic user controlling him. We have yet to catch Sara, but I’m not sure about the possible motive she would have,” Lady Suzanna mused, “This seems purposeful. There is something someone is looking for on these ships, it doesn’t seem like one of her experiments.”

“Perhaps the dark magic user was a child slave looking for other slaves,” Prince Geoffrey posited. “We’ve led several raids these past three months, but the nature of dark magic makes it difficult to tell how clean those events were and if someone got away. We also have had trouble working diplomatically with other countries to attack this problem, as they refuse to acknowledge the possibility that they have a problem with magic child slavery since their positions benefit from it.”

“That’s possible, but we should stay open other possibilities,” Suzanna mused. “A magic tool from some of the archeological troves abroad are going to be transported to Sorcier soon for our ministry experts to take look, that makes a fine prize for a dark magic user. Or kingdoms that know certain magic tools can be used by non-magic users might be trying to claim it first. Or the plan is simply to sow dissent among Prince Ian’s faction. As for the plan to resolve this issue, to take down a royal ship it would have to be a small crew on a fast vessel with a lot of power. Wind, Ice, and Fire mages would make up the party preferably, as well as something to counter the possible dark magic and all should be prepared for combat.”

“Those were our thoughts,” the King agreed, “We were hoping to quietly borrow Alexander and to ask Lady Selena to obtain an important personal item of Lord Gaiman to work it. The sea has the advantage over land in that a ship can sail directly as pointed, and wind and water mages with the proper tools and working together make wind and tides no barrier.”

“Consider it done,” Lady Selena said immediately. “And if…if it turns out my brother has turned traitor of his own accord, I swear my house will completely denounce him.”

“Selena,” Ian said reverently, pressing a kiss to her knuckles. “Thank you.”

She was flushed pink. “I could hardly do anything else.”

“We have also offered the opportunity to Geordo and Alan to be on the team that recovers Lord Gaiman,” The Queen said, and Katarina looked at rapidly between the princes beside her.

“What? But to put the princes on such a dangerous mission,” Mary said, frowning. “That seems careless.”

“They both have experience with the aftermath and effects of dark magic, useful and powerful magic to offer, and it might be beneficial politically if they wish to keep from attracting bigger factions. To appear to have abandoned politics when this information comes to light will prevent favor from falling to them.”

Mary frowned, “Prince Alan doesn’t have a faction. I’ve made sure of that.”

“Alan doesn’t, but you do,” Prince Geordo pointed out. “You’ve got blackmail on so many families, they presume you want to be Queen.”

Mary’s eyebrows rose, “It will be a simple matter to dispel that notion. And Prince Geordo’s firmest supporters in neutrality are aware that he does not seek or want the throne and know that Katarina is . . . I think the danger of power shifting is being overstated. If people are foolish enough to misunderstand the nature of dark magic control, which several of their daughters have experienced firsthand, they will push towards the first prince, who has several more years of experience.”

“How wonderful that you will remain here to monitor that shift in opinion,” Prince Geordo said drily. “However, am I to understand that you don’t want me to be sent on a dangerous, several month quest for the good of the kingdom? Or is it just your own fiancé that you protest leaving?”

Mary glanced quickly at Katarina, who shrugged as she wasn’t sure how to feel about what everyone was talking about.

“While I admit it is a wonderful opportunity for you to leave, explore other lifestyles, and gain some needed leadership skills,” Mary said. “It concerns me greatly that your family is considering letting either of you place yourselves in danger due to issues surrounding kingship. I dislike the precedent it sets and the implications about the value of your lives.”

“It’s one ship, one dark mage, we’d have a whole team of the military and ministry’s best helping us,” Alan said. “It isn’t careless. It’s calculated to show that we care. Maybe in the past the royal family has been considered too precious to get our hands dirty, but none of us are that kind of royal and we don’t want to be. I intend to accept the offer to join the mission.”

“I see,” Mary said, looking around, “and you intend to respect his decision.”

“I trust my sons to return to me,” the Queen said. “Including Alan, though I will insist on a light mage accompanying the party to assist with healing and dark magic detection.”

Alan nodded, “I already have a few names in mind. Not Maria,” he said, glancing at Katarina. “She has powerful magic, and experience with dark magic, but she is a liability in a combat situation.”

Well that’s true enough. Part of the reason Maria falls in love with the capture targets is because of all the times she was unable to protect herself. She almost got kidnapped herself at the last International Assembly. Katarina does her best to protect her, but she could see why Prince Alan wouldn’t want Maria on such a long and dangerous quest, even if she is a super cool white mage. Maria is brave enough, but Katarina knows she would be scared.

“I haven’t decided yet,” Prince Geordo admitted, “I can see the benefits of both going and not going. I dislike the idea of leaving Alan by himself, but I dislike the thought of leaving Katarina without my aid more. Lady Selena barely knew us and she knew that I would resign all rights to the throne if you asked or it would keep you safe, I don’t doubt that others are aware as well. Even if the worry is out of proportion, all it would take is one too ambitious noble to make you a target,” he said, squeezing her hand.

He took a deep breath and said, “Remember what I asked in the hallway, think about if this is something you really want, but I would invite you to come with us and be part of the team.”

“How could you—” Mary started to say, but Prince Alan distracted her with a shoulder touch, and Prince Geordo continued over Mary’s attempt at interruptions.

“Your dark magic, sword skills, and persuasion would make a fitting addition to the team. I trust Pochi to help you and to sense dark magic. I would assist in protecting you, of course, while we are abroad, but I won’t lie and say it will be easy.” Prince Geordo explained, never looking away from her eyes. “Many of the comforts you have now would be temporarily suspended, such as your access to sweets, farmland, and romance novels that you can’t carry with you. Anne would be welcome as the ship’s cook and your valet, if you do come. Please tell me if this is something you would like. You would be assigned this job through the ministry, so you would continue to be in their employ.”

“How could you support this decision!” Mary charged Alan.

The Fourth Prince shrugged, “My brother’s underselling it. I was the one that suggested Katarina come with us. Come on,” he said, leaning close to Katarina, “Haven’t you ever wanted to learn if you can climb the mast of a ship as fast as you can climb a tree?”

For a second she saw herself swinging from the edge of the crow’s nest, laughing, and she really, really wanted it. Katarina always wanted to travel, this could be her chance.

“But Lady Katarina, think of the people you will be leaving behind for an unknown amount of time! Myself, your brother, Sophia and Maria, you can’t possibly think of leaving us behind like that!” Mary protested.

“You will also be leaving your mother behind,” Prince Geordo pointed out. “She won’t be able to scold you for anything you do on the ship, and you will be free to act as you please. Keith will have the chance to grow up without you watching out for him all the time, as will Maria and Sophia. Mary will be busy handling politics, and we will keep you safe so you can return to see them again. It is a very adult decision you have to make here, but I will support whatever decision you make.”

But if she chooses to stay, Geordo will stay too, leaving Alan with a bunch of strangers to track down the dark mage.

“I find myself inclined to volunteer for this mission,” Lady Randall offered, eyes gleaming. “That would continue to limit the number of those who are aware of the rouge ship, and my presence will not affect our reputation as I am often absent on jobs for the ministry. I have several magic tools that I have been unable to test on land. As a powerful wind mage and a member of the Ministry, I believe I fit the criteria.”

Katarina could already see Raphael weeping over handling the magic tool requisition forms without Lady Larna.

Prince Geoffrey and Lady Suzanna shared some kind of secret message with their eyes, before the eldest prince broke into a wide smile. “I support my fiancée taking this trip completely. None better to handle Chaos afoot. Until the rumor breaks, I’ll redouble my diplomacy efforts to see about rooting out the slavery trade abroad. I must stay to handle the nobles of my faction, but I’ll feel much better letting you handle this issue personally, my dear.”

“We’ll be able to spin the tale of which of us is credited with the capture to our liking if Lady Randall is part of the party,” Prince Geordo said. “It would be coupled with the reveal of Lady Larna and Lady Randall, but could be powerful to give this win to Geoffrey if whispered in the right ears or supported with an award for services to the crown. Or we could credit this win to the Ministry, with all of us in support, changing the dialog of power factions to between Ian and the Ministry, rather than between brothers.”

“If Selena and I are the only ones present in Court as a united front,” Ian strategized, “We might be able to keep from opinion swaying too far out of our favor, no matter if her brother’s identity is revealed.”

“Stop,” Mary said. “We have yet to hear Lady Katarina accept this in any way. Do not make plans for her consent, the pressure is unfair.”

“Quite right,” Prince Geordo said, turning back to her. “May we hear your thoughts, Dearest?”

To go on a ministry trip/overseas adventure with Alan and Geordo and Lady Larna, to track down pirates using dark magic and be free from her mom and give Keith a chance to grow without her. But Keith would grow without her, and Mary and Maria and Sophia would too and she wouldn’t see it. But if she didn’t go, then Prince Alan wouldn’t have Prince Geordo at his back, and she’d be stuck with extra security because of politics she didn’t completely understand and she could do something weird that would mess everything up. People already called her a saintess for some reason, what if she did something to convince them she would make a good queen? (And she didn’t want even think about what her mother would say about that.)

“When would we leave?” Katarina asked.

“Soon as possible, tomorrow evening,” Prince Alan said. “We’ll take a carriage overnight to get us to Westbeach, and set sail the following morning.”

“That’s really fast,” Katarina said uncertainly.

“Exactly. You wouldn’t be able to tell your family or friends what you were doing, could you really leave them like this?” Mary asked.

“She already can’t tell them about the stuff she does for the Ministry,” Prince Alan pointed out. “There isn’t anything special about this, except for how long she’ll be gone.”

“Which could be months!”

While Mary and Alan argued, she watched Prince Geordo. Whatever she said, this affected him too, since he’d do what she wanted. It was hard to tell, but Katarina had known him longer than any of her other friends, and knew he wanted to go. He wanted to be there for Alan. He wanted her there too.

He said she should pick whatever she wanted, but what she wanted was her friends to be happy and safe.

“Did everyone else approve of their plans to asked Lady Katarina?” Mary asked the rest of the room. “The Claes family will be vicious should something happen to her.”

“I suspected it, when they asked to talk about this between themselves,” Prince Geoffrey said. “I am fine with it. As mentioned, we are not sending Katarina into a more dangerous situation than we are sending my brothers and fiancee into. I believe the Claes would approve the philosophy and respect that Katarina is an adult woman who can make her own choices.”

“Katarina is one of the bravest, strongest, and kindest people I know,” Lady Selena said, her voice soft but her tone strong, “I would trust her to treat my brother right, and to come home safe with him.”

“We presented this as a test for our children,” the King said, glancing at his wife, “to see how they would confront a challenge. We will support their decision and allow them to deal with the consequences of their actions. It is the only way to let your children grow, Lady Hunt. Something you will understand one day for yourself.”

“I agree with my husband, though my heart longs for me to agree with you, Lady Hunt,” the Queen said sadly. “I wish my children safe and unharmed, but I cannot clip their wings when the world demands they fly. This way they fly free by their own choice and not someone else’s. They offer Lady Claes the same opportunity, which Lady Claes has earned by her own independence in working at the ministry in the first place.”

Her own choice. Free. Living on a ship, no mother or Keith to tell her how to behave. Just Prince Alan, who lets her go with a laugh, and Prince Geordo, who is easy enough to convince with the right smile. She’s not scared for her safety, Prince Geordo and Prince Alan totally had Plot Armor, and there were no doom flags with Maria back on the mainland.

Yes, it would be hard to go without sweets or novels, but she was already a working girl. This was part of it. Or, it would have been part of it in her last life. She probably wouldn’t have gone to college like two of her brothers, but she would have gone out to live on her own after getting a job. Here in Sorciere, the culture was that she would move directly from her parents house to her husband’s house, no time to be independent and just live on her own terms like she had always imagined being an adult would be like.

A real adventure where doom flags don’t come from fate, but from not being skilled enough.

Freedom tastes like wind and salt water.

“Of course I want to go! Leave it to me!” Katarina said with a smile.

[findingtarshish]

WHO IS THIS HARMONY? LET'S FIND OUT!! 💗🌈💢👁️🌌👪📎📎

ALRIGHT TIME TO BECOME AND UNSKIPPABLE CUTSCENE First off, if you'd like to learn about Harmony, here's her character sheet That said I've updated it uhhhhhh a lot since so just dm me if you want the link to the actual doc

NOW. AHEM.

💗 GROWING HEART - if they have a crush, is it noticeable? what changes when they're in love?

Harmony falls in love easily and often. She finds it very hard to hide her affection, and generally confesses pretty fast. She presently has a wife, Olivia, a girlfriend, Ekaterina, and a boyfriend, Elliot, and she usually feels warmest and safest when she's with them.

🌈 RAINBOW - what advice would they give to their younger self?

The funny answer is "Don't date that guy" to avoid the whole sitch with her ex-boyfriend. Her real answer would probably be "Go home from school early on September 17th, 2008" in a misguided attempt to prevent her mother's death, the trauma of which has shaped her later childhood and much of her adult life.

💢 ANGER - what are some habits they have that will take some getting used to?

Her consensualism, probably. She is fanatically consensualist, and is very judgemental toward anyone who feeds without consent. If she catches you alleycatting, she will probably try to convert you to consensualism. She did this to her wife (originally a bagger) before they were married.

👁️ EYE - what colour are their eyes? do people notice their eyes? is there anything special about them (shows emotion easily, literally magical...)?

Harmony's eyes are a very dark grey, and sometimes look like they're black.

🌌 MILKY WAY - what was the inspiration behind your oc? what was the first thing you decided about them?

Harmony was my first VTM character. She was initially heavily inspired by Silas Reed, from LoadingReadyRun's Actual Play Not A Drop To Drink: Vancouver Island By Night, which was one of my first exposures to WoD. The idea was to create a diplomatic Kindred that stood at the crux between Anarch and Camarilla, the sort of person that would be called on to mediate talks between sects; as I developed her more, she ended up choosing violence, and her focus on her consensualism became much more important.

👪 FAMILY - what is their family like? what is your ocs relationship to them? does your oc have any siblings?

EXTENDED. She has: Her wife, Olivia, whose sire they killed together (The couple that slays together stays together, yknow); Her sire (and girlfriend) Ekaterina/Katherine; Her mortal stepdad, Keith; Her mortal sister, Melody, who is also a mage (Discovering this was a funny scene); Her grandsire, Ceridwen, whom she idolizes; and her older blood sibling, Cayetano, whom she has a... complicated relationship with. She is intensely loyal to her family (except Cayetano) and will do anything for them.

📎PAPERCLIP - a random fact. (x2!)

1) Harmony is an antiquarian and book conservationist by trade. She specializes in commission work for preserving personal artifacts, and in work for Kindred libraries- if your Book of Nod is falling apart and you need it repaired or a facsimile made, she's your girl!

2) Harmony has a plushie named Baffie (short for Baphomet) which her sister gave to her while she was in the hospital when she was 15 (it's a long story that even her character sheet doesn't really get into). Baffie is a brown vampire bat with little fangs- ironically, her sister's special interest is vampires, ever since she was a kid, so much so that she's writing her undergrad thesis on Dracula. Finding out that vampires were real was an experience for her. Finding out that her sister was one had her apoplectic.

[80stacos]

2nd Gen Gang — The Outsiders OCs

RUBY MAY CURTIS

Daughter of Ponyboy Curtis; mother unknown

Was named after Pony’s mom’s birthstone

Likes to read just like her dad

Also into nature

Asexual; biromantic

She’s sort of the “runt” amongst the rest of the gang’s kids, kind of like her dad was

She’s pretty quiet but also a sweetheart, and sometimes sassy

The only makeup she will wear is lipgloss

BRUNO MARTÍN RANDLE

The oldest child of Steve and Evie Randle’s kids

Studying data science at NYU

Loves yoga and meditation; he’s really into self-care

He is also super interested in Indian history and culture, and even took some Hindi classes

NINA MARIA RANDLE

The 2nd oldest child of Steve and Evie Randle

Athletic; played soccer all throughout middle and high school

Bisexual with a preference towards women

Loves hamsters; she has one named Latte

Best friends with Ruby; they are sassy twins

SIERRA JOSEFINA RANDLE

The youngest child of Steve and Evie Randle

Very introverted except around Zoe; they are besties

Bisexual

She’s really interested in her Hispanic heritage and knows more Spanish than anyone in her family (besides her mom)

She’s really artistic and loves to paint

ZOE CASSANDRA MATTHEWS

Daughter of Keith (Two-Bit) and Alyssa (1st ex-wife of Two-Bit)

Soon-to-be step-mother is Marcia Wagner

Half sisters with Kristi Matthews

Spanish and Greek on her mother's side

Has a good relationship with both her parents

Has clinical depression

Introverted

Pansexual

Best friends with Sierra

Wants to be a model

KRISTINA “KRISTI” MATTHEWS

Daughter of Keith (Two-Bit) and Katie (2nd ex-wife of Two-Bit)

Soon-to-be step-mother is Marcia Wagner

Half sisters with Zoe Matthews

Russian on her mom's side

Mostly stays with her dad

Heterosexual

Does makeup tutorials on YouTube

Obsessed with Bath and Body Works

WADE BENJAMIN CURTIS

Son of Darry and Melissa Curtis

Gay; closeted

The oldest of the gang

Getting his degree in Creative Media Production at the University of Oklahoma

Has autism spectrum disorder

EUGENE DARREL CURTIS

The oldest child of Sodapop and Abby Curtis

Bisexual with a preference towards men

Is really into beauty and self-care

Loves to dance

ZINNIA DOROTHY CURTIS

The youngest child of Sodapop and Abby Curtis

Lesbian

Does gaming and beauty tutorials on YouTube

Loves to swim and surf; she goes to California every summer with her friends

[masschase]

SR Boss Asks Answers

I realised how much space long reblogs take up on the reblog page (yeah, I'm new to tumblr) so I've copied this onto a new post.

But yeah, did them all, and I implore anyone who wants to talk about their Boss to do these, because even if no-one reads it, it was fun. There were a couple of things I didn't really think about, like the #16 Casey-cat moment which is my new favourite thing.

#17 is something I've just done a longer post on.

Apologies for formatting issues.

1.What’s their backstory? Cassandra ‘Casey’ Michaiła Clark was born in Stilwater. Her dad left when she was very young citing that he couldn't handle two kids. Ofc he leaves and has two kids with his new wife and barely sees Casey and her sister. He later claims he wanted to leave their mom, not them. Her sister rightfully points out that for all her flaws, their mom never actually stopped him seeing them so that's on him.

Her mom was from a slightly more affluent background than her dad (they met in college but dropped out when her mom got pregnant) and they were scraping by until he left. After that, her mom worked very hard to maintain the appearance to the outside world that they were not struggling with money, even though it sent them into debt. She was always very judgemental and religious, but also had a genuine anxiety disorder. She eventually got addicted to Xanax and would drag Casey with her to make excuses like that she'd flushed her last lot down the toilet/took them to school and they got confiscated etc.

It got to the point where she was pretty checked out and Casey's sister had to make sure they were getting to school on time, that there was food on the table etc.. When she was 14, her sister left home and this derailed her pretty bad.

Her best friend Mori(OC: Moriarty Alleyne- hoping to post more about him soon)'s mom Angela was instrumental in taking care of her from about the age of 12. She always made sure Casey was fed when at her house and gave her some of Mori's old clothes when she outgrew her sister's hand-me-downs. She did try to help where she could but wasn't fully aware of the situation for a long time. Even though Mori's friendship with Casey became a little strained due to his girlfriend disliking her, Angela would still invite her around.

When Casey was 15 her mom caught her making out with a girl she liked and it led to her mom throwing her out of the house. She stayed with Mori and Angela for two weeks straight but Angela started saying Casey should go check on her mom, and offers to go with her- having realised by this point that drugs are involved she's worried her mom might have OD'ed (Casey doesn't realise that's why until years later). Casey assures her she has been in contact with her mom (technically she has been, she's been sent texts about repenting her sins and guilt trips about leaving her at home the whole time) and pretends to go home but obviously can't.

So instead she finds herself on Saints Row at a really stupid time of night and… well, you know… Saints Row happens.

2. How old were they when they first joined the Saints? Fifteen, almost sixteen. Weird little angry kid born 29th June 1990. I think she has pretty obvious millenial tastes and tendencies. I find the post-SRIV dynamic pretty fascinating actually. She probably has a lot more in common with Pierce and Shaundi who I hc as similar ages compared to Johnny who is xennial, Kinzie and Asha who I think are borderline millenial/gen z, and 110% zoomer Matt. Then you've got Keith and Ben complaining that the ship is ran by kids and CID, Jane and Jezebel being extreme outliers to the whole thing.

3. Did they have a happy childhood? I mean overall she says it wasn't terrible. She had some nice moments with her sister. Kinzie calls her backstory "tragic" when she hears it and Casey disagrees calling it "just, y'know, a bit shitty". She heard stories of other kids going through physical and sexual abuse, she saw how Mori was affected by his dad's death and had to help him through some very dark times with his depression. She doesn't class her borderline sociopathy as a mental health issue until much later on. She starts therapy around the time the Saints rise to fame, around 2012-2013.

4. Do they have any siblings? Yes, she has a sister called Phoebe who is approximately 4 years older than her and as above, pretty much had to raise her. She left home when she was 18 which led Casey to feel pretty abandoned all over again, especially because she didn't fully understand her reasons.

5. Did they graduate high school? What about college? No, she dropped out of high school. She had plans to study English Literature at college had she got that far. She held on to school for almost a year after Phoebe left, still scraping Bs, but eventually it all took its toll. She got a job as a dishwasher in a small restaurant. If it wasn't for stealing food off of plates for a few months she wouldn't have had the muscle mass for the physical strength she displays in the first game.

6. What’s their sexuality?She self-defines as bisexual. Later she wonders if it should be pansexual. She didn't know what pan was in like 2003 when she was figuring it out, but either would fit her. Equally she would describe herself as panromantic but many of her friends assume she is fraysexual or otherwise arospec based on her choices around relationships.

7. What do they look for in a partner? She doesn't. She ignores or downright avoids that sort of interaction if possible. Suddenly becomes fucking mute again if she tries to talk about feelings. But she seems to be romantically attracted to people that are quite physically affectionate because she is very friendly emotionally but has trouble initiating non-sexual physical contact.

She does have the odd short-term partner, but tends to be drawn to people she doesn’t like all that much as something in her brain knows it won't last (talking days, I think her longest was like 10 days for many years). She has a lot of one-night stands/other casual hookups.

8. Are they currently dating anyone? Currently when? ;) Throughout the games, no, unless it’s a matter of days as described above. She's capable of romantic attraction but as above, doesn't want a relationship for practical reasons (actually fear) because a partner could be used against her.

9. Who do they love most in the world? Her friends. They are her family. She is unwavering on that. This doesn't change when she gets a partner or meets a blood relative from the pods. But it does shift a little some time in 2024.

10. Is there someone from their past they will never forgive?

Her parents. Anyone who contributes to the several deaths of her friends also but the difference there is that she doesn't let them live. So no need to forgive them. Hell she only considered letting Matt live because he reminded her of herself when she got dragged into the gang life at 15-16. The upgrades just sealed the deal.

11. What is their favorite food? Mori and his mom are Bajan-American so Barbadian food is a comfort food for her, especially salt fish and macaroni pie. Unfortunately none of the lieutenants stationed with her are of that heritage, so she often seeks out Carribean restaurants while still on earth. Phoebe's pecan pie is also a comfort, it was their grandma's recipe but she died when Casey was 6 and Phoebe was 9-10. Casey has the recipe but can't cook anything besides like frozen pizzas, instant ramen etc. She eventually tries to make the pie and realises burnt pecan pie is still good pecan pie! Despite this, lemon meringue pie is her favourite dessert. When the nice manager was on shift at the restaurant she would sneak her a piece every night. She also has a soft spot for fries because when she the dishwasher in the diner they were the easiest things to eat off plates before scraping them. Also pieces of burgers and ribs.

12. What are their pet peeves? She gets really restless when waiting on someone. Like she'll say meet at 2 and by the time Johnny gets there by 2.03 she's been pacing back and forth for five minutes. She doesn't mind all the gang being sarcastic with each other but if they all start talking each other at once she usually has to silence them. She is open to being called out on things like her white cis privelege or some of the hetronormative bias instilled by her background but she doesn't much like being challenged on some of her more bullshit 'rules' or lieutenants pushing back on her decisions once she's made them. She does eventually mature out of the latter.

13. What are some of their fears? Her biggest fear is losing someone she cares about. Unfortunately she's frequently had to live it. This is one of the things that contributes to her feelings on relationships.

14. How do they deal with injuries? Major: the Saints have a heavily bribed doctor in Stilwater, Steelport and DC. Minor: She usually asks Johnny to bandage if needed bc everyone else is too slow and gentle. Then more or less runs and hides until she's feeling better.

15. What is the MOST embarrassing moment in their life? That time she almost slow danced with Josh Birk at the 4th of July party is certainly up there.

16. Are they a cat or dog person? Cat, I think. I think she wouldn't have thought of herself of much a pet person in general because she grew up without any and she assumes she'd be too lazy to take care of them. But then she goes to a friends house who has a cat. Maybe Mori(which would be funny because his mom affectionately compares Casey to a stray cat). And she doesn't really know how to react around them so she's just kind of like "Sup.". Then the cat just kind of comes and sits on her lap and she's like… oh… warm! Soft. You are my new homie now.

17. Beside the 1950s sitcom, what else would their hell be?Again, just losing all the people she cares about. The only reason that was not her simulation is because Zinyak/the system he uses has a very shallow understanding of the human psyche, not surprising because Zin have a very conscious mind compared to humans where a lot is subconscious. This makes them fairly intelligent but also means they can adapt to changes due to their time travel easily because they just go "oh, a memory has changed.". See also: Pierce's simulation. Maybe everyone's.

18. Which death affects them the most? (Besides Johnny)

Oh this is different because they all impact such different areas of her life. Lin’s death probably had the greatest impact on her actions as a leader.She becomes very front-and centre/self sacrificing because of Lin.

On a more personal level I was going to say Carlos because she had pretty strong feelings for him but actually it's Aisha. Watching how her best friend, who she looks up to more than anyone and basically wanted to be, was just walking around with a piece of him missing really solidified her fear of relationships and anger at the injustice of life and death; things she might have otherwise grown out of/conquered with therapy.

19. What is their favorite music? She likes a pretty wide range of music because she doesn’t want to let anyone down by not following their recommendations and always finds at least one song she likes from the artists they like. Not taking that into account, she really likes '80s shit' and also ska but as a 00s teen she went through the pop punk phase pretty hard too.

20. What are some of their hobbies? Reading, definitely. Almost every spare moment when she gets to the stage where there are spare moments. In high school, Yu-Gi-Oh cards were big for her. Tbh she is pretty nerdy but because she's so technologically challenged her friends don't seem to pick up on that. I feel like in an AU 2020 she would get really into cottagecore during the pandemic then get really pissed because she can't bake or draw or knit.

[megabonniex]

Name: XML

Full Name: XML Hatsune

Age: 24

Species: Angel/Demon

Powers: Holy, Hell, Fire, Light, Dark

Forms: Angel form, Demon form, Inferno Demon Guardian (+ phase 5) form, Dark form, Fire form, Nightmare form, Turbo form (when XML & T.XML fused into one body due to XML & T.XML have own bodies but they share with one body when they fused), Perfect form (Require T.XML to become P.XML), True Light form (Require Light of Orb)

Passive Abilities: Retry, Echo

Unique Abilities: Superhuman Speed, Superhuman Strength, Fireproof Resistance, Regeneration

Favorite Foods: Pizza, Donut

Favorite Drinks: Milk, BRISK Iced tea, Coffee

Family: Alice Hatsune (Mother), Oliver Hatsune (Father), Miku Hatsune (Sister), Michael (Big Brother), Kaity Hatsune (Sister), Ritz (Adoptive Brother), T.XML Hatsune (Adoptive Brother)

Friends: Pico, Cheetos

Relationship: Girl Gearest (Love interest, Wife)

Mind Friends: Run.XML, Onslaught.XML, Corrupted.XML, Soul.XML, Demon.XML, Static.XML (Pibby.XML), LMX, Werexml.XML, Nexus.XML

Children: Glitched.XML (Son), Monster.XML (Son), Hunter (Son)

Fun fact about XML:

XML always used his cartoon logic!

XML is mix of pure and mature

When XML sees bombs or explosive stuff, he'll get very excited

XML adopted Glitched.XML and Monster.XML

XML often crashed due to Math (Reason: XML got detention due to XML rap battle against Math Test)

XML finally confront Trollge Girl, now XML no longer went insane

When XML chugging coffee that caused to XML went coffee rush

XML really likes banana costumes because he does wears banana costume for spooky month (and some of people finds that comedy as well)

XML highly don't like being called "Keith", "Cam", and "Evan" but XML is fine with being called "Keith" by his family

XML don't like being called "Kid" and "Kiddo" due to his height problem, but XML is fine with being called "Kiddo" by Sans

XML is mix of smart and dumb

XML's limit is 100th song. If XML reached his limit, he'll get tired. But if XML keep going after he reached his limit, his throat will hurt or/and he'll feels sick

XML married Girl on March 7, 2023

XML actually played Pizza Tower (XML is Average Pizza Tower Enjoyer)

XML has PTSD (This new PTSD is actually different than old PTSD)

XML can see exit door for unknown reason

[mikelogan]

I'm watching the end of season 3 and Elliot and JD together are so fucking toxic they're so bad for each other I'm going rabid i hate them so much. And they're not even fun toxic like Jordan and Perry.

And then. Elliot shows up to help Carla get ready for the wedding in a pink off the shoulder shirt with a rainbow on it over a black bra with her hair all curled talking about how she doesn't always enjoy having sex with men and like. She is so clearly gay.

She dates the guys she does in the beginning because of comp-het. I think. At some point during her relationship with Sean she realizes that she's only dating him because she doesn't want to be alone and she thinks she's supposed to be with a guy. She also has a ~dream~ about Jordan and/or that hot new surgeon lady which is hotter than anything she's ever done with any guy.

Anyway Elliot is a lesbian and maybe she ends up with Danni but like original Danni not rebranded toxic Danni. Definitely not Sean. He irks me. And they have no chemistry and. God lesbian Elliot would be everything.

At this point I'm convinced you just scuttled out of my brain and somehow gained sentience bc BRUH I BEEN SAYIN

1) I'm not gonna lie, I liked JD and Elliot in the beginning in like a "Oh they're kinda cute" and I will even tolerate them up until this point in season 3, where she leaves Sean FOR JD after making Sean uproot his life for her and then JD decides he doesn't want her anymore. The only thing that makes me angrier is when he decides he does want her in My Cold Shower. I rage. Partially bc YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKING IDIOT, JD and partially bc I really do like Keith.

2) In reading your second paragraph I'm like "oh yeah it's that comp-het AND THEN YOU SAID THAT so further evidence that you're one of my little brain bugs (loving term of endearment)

But yeah no, Elliot is an extremely repressed lesbian who doesn't figure it out until she's late twenties/early thirties. Which is incredibly valid (I didn't know I was bi until I was in my 2nd year of college), but you don't come from a wealthy Connecticut background without being a lot repressed. And I have quite literally never entertained the idea of Elliot and Danni bc they ruined Danni beyond recognition, but it would be the largest of pain points for Perry that his ex-wife's sister is dating /Barbie/. That makes them slightly more connected than just coworkers. Maybe. Sort of.

But also I can't decide if Carla is also a lesbian (she's with Jordan don't look at me] or if she's bi or pan. This was not meant to be a breakdown of all the Scrubs characters' sexual orientations but like. What else are we supposed to do?

**EDIT**

Idk if you sent the other ask in my inbox or if this is just an awesome coincidence BUT I FORGOT ABOUT MOLLY, THATS THE FUCKIN HEADCANON

Instead of looking for a new mentor in Molly, she starts to realize maybe she's less straight than she though. Nobody tell her brother, Barry, though -- he's the gay one. And correct me if I'm wrong (I'm not) but in her voiceover doesn't Elliot say about Molly, "she's the peppermint patty to my marcy" or something to that effect? GAY

[mickstart]

hello i would like to hear your opinions on

This is such a mood. Thank you for asking!!! I love mass effect! A lot!

I probably have opinions on most characters tbh. I like the original ME1 squad the most. My shepard is a psuedo-oc and I love her and her found family SO much. Like it'd be really hard for me to pick a mass effect squadmate I dislike they're almost all very dear to me. So here's a companion tier list and then honourable mentions and explanations below

Garrus: malewife with autism. Local Man In Awe Of His Very Strong Wife. Dork. Beloved. I Am Not Immune To Turians.

Tali: wife so beloved they had to nerf her by refusing to make her bi even though if femshep romances Garrus you can find Tali fantasizing about the three of you Together at the citadel dlc party.

Wrex: that's my grandpa and I love him

Ashley: she and Shep are the two best friends who have been friends so long they always have five ongoing arguments of varying severity but they will always be The Girls. She is ONLY down in b tier because I use her so little during the actual game and I wish there had been more actual content.

Joker: that's my stupid weed smoking cousin and the only one who knows im gay at the family reunion.

Grunt: Shepard has a sign on her door when she's busy and has asked not to be disturbed and it says "SON BOY ALLOWED" with a picture of grunt. He will always be her son. He is just a baby.

Anderson: dad. I love him. but also it's true what they say once you've heard Keith David as the arbiter he is the arbiter to you forever and there's nothing you can do.

Hackett: I just really like Hackett he's like Shepard's strict but fair dad and Anderson is her fun dad.

Kasumi: Shepard's annoying little sister I LOVE getting gossip from her it made the ship feel so alive.

James: I need to help my himbo son realize he is bisexual and it's not Just Bro Things to constantly ask Cortez if he's enjoying watching you work out and thinks you're hot.

Jack: I LOVE JACK I LOVE JACK SO MUCHXHDHDDHDH BIOWARE HOMOPHOBES. If you even look at jack wrong then Natasha Shepard will kill you. That's her sister.

Miranda: I Am Not Immune To Women Or Hyper Competence.

Samara: hngh... milfs.... With a code of duty and honour and ethics.... Hnghhhhhh.

EDI: I love robot AI stories I just wish someone gave my darling friend some clothes. She looks cold.

Legion: I will make bioware pay. I swear it to you legion.

Bonus Honourable Mentions: I genuinely am a stereotypical "turians are my blorbos" mass effect player. I think more than the game probably wants me to about Saren and indoctrination and Nihlus (and how they had a Thing I'm a truther) and it's one of the reasons I hate the ending so much because bioware seem intent on pushing synthesis as the "good uwu" ending which. That's what Saren wanted to do in me1 make up your damn minds.

Okay! Dishonourable mentions!

Thane: his loyalty mission glitched on my first ever playthrough and it ruined my perfect run on the suicide mission AND got kirrahe killed in me3 bc he took Thanes place in the coup fight. I don't dislike him he's like my joke nemesis but I'd probably forgive him for the broken loyalty mission if he was more interesting to me.

Kaidan: I actually really do like kaidan this is the same thing as Thane. I took him to the tholian planet in me1 my first time out, when I was shit at game, and he just kept dying constantly leaving me at the mercy of the thralls. (Garrus, knight in shining armour, was my only hope.) When virmire happened I was like "you know what you did." The game also railroads you if you're playing with femshep and makes every conversation with him flirty which! I didn't enjoy! At all! Jesus can I just get to know you without you asking if this means I'm in love???? So thus I have spent the least time with kaidan of all the squad. I really want to do a maleshep run some day and like. Actually get to know him. Because I think he's be higher if I did.

Javik: I find the airlock stuff funny but like. The fascist colonialist overlord thing. Gets old quick! Believe it or not! I don't get on with him but he makes me laugh I guess.

Jacob: this isn't about Jacob this is about the racist and bland writing that went into him. I want to love Jacob but he has both the racist writing and the same problem as Kaidan where if you even suggest you don't want him to die the game takes it as a sign you love him

And now. The big one. The one that's gonna get my sapphic card taken away.

Liara makes me uncomfortable. The way you can see the Devs lust for her all over the way she's written and designed and posed and used. The way she fulfills every "hot alien babe" fantasy. The way asari in general are agender when bioware want to tell you it's not really gay and "just all female" the rest of the time or when they're drooling over them. The way the game railroads you the same way it does with kaidan and Jacob and probably Ashley if you're maleshep. The way she has multiple obligatory missions and the favourtism is so obvious that she's basically the only character who can ONLY die if you get the absolute worst ending of all where the entire galaxy dies. The way the game will regularly assume you romance her.

Idk I really wanted to like her I was SO excited when I found out the game had a bisexual love interest. It's not like I dislike anything at all that's actually about HER. As a character I love her she's autistic coded she's sweet she's beautiful and smart and kind. But whenever I'm interacting with her idk how else to describe it except I am taken out of the experience of the story BC I am so aware of all the contexts and shit influencing what I'm seeing and doing. She's NOT down here because I hate her. It is exclusively the fact that when I'm seeing her I am so acutely aware that I am seeing a fictional character people workshopped.

[dnightshade0]

Voltron: don’t fall asleep on the couch

Lance was taking a nap on the couch. His wife Elena walks in and sees him laying there and gets an evil idea.

She goes into the master bath and grabs her makeup kit, then returns to the living room and stands over Lance menacingly.

After about 15 minutes, she had successfully prettied up lances face. He was now wearing foundation, eye liner, eye shadow, powder, blush and lipstick. She giggles to herself and goes to put the makeup away. A minute later, Lance wakes up, yawns and stretches out his muscles. As he gets up, Elena comes in, acting innocent.

Elena: hay honey! Sleep well?

Lance: yep, most relaxing nap I’ve had in a while.

Elena then pulls out her phone and turns on the camera option.

Elena: strike a pose sweetie!

Lance makes a peace sign and winks as Elena takes the picture.

Snap!

Before Lance can ask to see the picture, the doorbell rings. Lance goes to answer the door to find hunk, Pidge, shiro and Keith. Lance and Elena were expecting them as they were hosting a football party to watch the game.

Lance: hay guys! About time you got here. I was going to start digging into the taco salad!

Hunk was about to retort but stops short when he takes in lance’s appearance. He gaps at him for a few seconds before replying.

Hunk: …haaaay… is the man of the house at home?

Lance: oh haha. Funny. Just get in here.

They all enter and start making vague teasing remarks.

Pidge: damn, I knew you had a skin care routine but I didn’t realize you were into that.

Lance: huh?

Keith: and here I thought you couldn’t get any prettier. lol

Lance: dude, I’m always beautiful!

Shiro: would you say your beauty rivals Elena now?

Lance: please, we’re the best looking couple on the block.

As they are talking, Elena comes in, setting a bowl of chips on the coffee table. Shiro turns to her.

Shiro: is this your handy work?

he asks pointing to lance.

Elena: (snickers) yep. >X3

They all start laughing and Lance just looks confused.

Lance: what’s so funny?

Elena: do you remember the picture I took a few minutes ago?

Lance: yeah?

She takes out her phone and shows him the picture.

Lance looks at it and his jaw drops.

Lance: !!! WTF?!?!

lance immediately tries to grab the phone but Elena holds it out of his reach.

Lance: DELETE THAT NOW?!

Elena: lol nope. :P

Lance: I’M SERIOUS! DELETE THAT PHOTO RIGHT NOW!

Elena: really Lance? Your worried about a picture I took when you have your friends standing right here and can take pictures with their own phones?

Lance freezes at that and slowly turns to look at his friends who are all smiling and are in fact taking out their phones.

Lance screeches, covers his face and runs out of the room and into the bathroom, slamming the door and locking it. Elena walks up to the bathroom and hears the sound of the sink running.

Elena: honey, thats high quality makeup. The only way you’re getting that off is with makeup remover.

Lance: … where’s your makeup remover?

Elena: in the master bathroom.

Lance: … Quiznak!

(Later)

Shiro: so are you gonna delete that photo?

Elena: nope.

Shiro: why not?… wait… your gonna use it as blackmail material aren’t you?

Elena: I’ve been trying to get lance to take us to this new hibachi restaurant by us for months now. If he doesn’t take us the next time I ask, I’ll threaten to send this picture to all his sisters.

——————————————————-

This idea came to me while I was enjoying an evening out at a hibachi restaurant called Fujiyama for my birthday. It’s only on rare occasions like this that I wear make up. Then I got to thinking about what kind of funny moment Lance and his wife could have and this idea came to mind somehow… I don’t even remember how it all lead to this outcome… oh… I think maybe I do.

There was a family sitting at the same hibachi table as my mom and I. A father, mother and three little girls. It was one of the little girl’s birthday. She was turning seven. They were having a fun little family moment. The cook at our table had thrown shrimp in our mouths. He got one in my mouth, missed the second time, got shrimp in the dad’s mouth at least five times but missed every time with the little girls. He shot a shrimp into the mom’s mouth so fast, she barely had time to realize he shot it in. Her reaction was so funny. We all had a good laugh with it.

Then while we were eating I started thinking about what kind of funny moments this family must have together. I wondered if the little girls would ever try to put make up on their dad like some girls did in the movie “daddy daycare”. Then all the pieces fell into place.

[chezzabellesworld]

Nicole Richie pop royalty pop culture royalty

As a story goes with Nicole Ritchie, when she was very young, she was on stage with Prince well backstage, concert with her parents at the time or one of her parents I don’t know there’s not too much written about her parents, especially the father, who is supposedly part of his part of his music the dad was part of music or part of the band, and was seen by Lionel Richie and his wife, Cherie, she wasn’t being attended or looked after very well and they had an agreement where they looked after her, because the parents couldn’t or didn’t take the responsibility with her, I’ve heard some people say that Lionel Richie is her father. He just got a groupie pregnant or something to that knowledge all that degree but in pop culture to me Nicole Richie is bigger or just as big as Paris and Lindsey., not literally because look at the size of her she say little and small, this is partly because she was being compared to Paris Hilton who is literally as fit as a stick and especially was even more so back learning the 2000, they came onto our screen in around 2004 roughly, where to rich girls from Beverly Hills different tasks in small towns and lived without as much money at all and had to work for things they weren’t allowed any credit card cards or shopping spree,

Anyway She was an adopted by Lionel Richie and his wife and they took her on full-time. They had a temporary adverse, but they wanted to be a stability in her life and she enjoyed being around them too ! Nicole always says what a good dad she has and how they’ve been looked after her and her younger sister always say how good Lionel always is dad so I think that says a lot because that is a lack of good father out there .

So Nicole Ritchie wasn’t the original choice with Paris Hilton to go on the simple life. It was either going to be Kimberley Stewart, maybe Keith and Kim Kardashian., maybe even her sister Nikki, but Nikki didn’t like the same like Paris does, a so then Nicole was a choice for the show and later seasons fingers grew as tensions between the two was thicker , anyway going back to the weight because it’s important she was constantly being compared to Hilton in interviews everything and I think this really struggled even though she didn’t ever met her or show any of her weaknesses , she was very confident but she had literally come out of rehab for heroin addiction and other addictions and her , gone up and she was a normal size slim girl , for us growing up in error like even looking back now myself I was fat I wasn’t fit but I wasn’t definitely wasn’t fat , we get compared to goes and we compare ourselves to girls in pictures or don’t wanna be photographed next to someone who likes a lot skinnier than us sometimes it can be triggering ,

After this simple life or jury, but definitely after she was friendly with the designer Rachel Zo , who made the whole bohemian look a massive thing in the mid to late 2000s and early 20 tens , everyone had this look at this time Vanessa Hudgens Selena Gomez but mainly it would be Nicole Ritchie and Rachel though and someone likes Sienna Miller it was so popular everyone had something in their closet that , Even if they weren’t heavily into that look was a part of it even if it was just a bag that had that feature to it or earrings but there was so many different skirts and dresses and jewellery lots of bangles, heavy bangles, wooden bangles, clothing and fashion revival .

The younger generation the younger generation don’t remember Nicole Richie as someone is pivotal because she wasn’t in the films like Lindsay Lohan and she wasn’t as prominent and out there maybe as Paris Hilton , was part of the holy Trinity of those free. Let’s chuck Britney Spears in there even though it doesn’t up.