#Kersh

[randomfoggytiger]

Watching Essence - Existence, every time:

[lesbianscxlly]

the bermuda triangle ep in season 6 is so funny to me because scully must be an absolute NIGHTMARE to work with for literally everyone all the time. she’s just constantly lying and disregarding everything everyone says i love her

[oldmanbracket]

Sexiest Old Man Tournament: Round 1

Who is hotter?

[hellooldsmelly]

[baronessblixen]

Fictober Day 12: The Sweetest Tune

Prompt: "Did you hear that?"

It's late at the Hoover building and Mulder hears a noise… Rating: T, wc: 1,013

Tagging @today-in-fic @xffictober24

“Did you hear that?” Mulder whispers, putting her hands on her shoulders. It’s 10 p.m. on a Friday and they’re on their way out of the Hoover building. Any noise they might hear won’t be good news.

“Hear what?” she asks, not lowering her voice.

“This,” he says, pointing up.

“Mulder, it’s late and we’re-” he silences her, putting a finger on her lips. He keeps it there, willing her to listen. All she can hear is Mulder’s breathing and her own heartbeat. It drowns out everything else. Her other senses are at high alert; Mulder’s finger is salty and the feel of it against her lips makes her thirsty.

“Do you really not hear that?” His voice is low, his face close to hers.

“I don’t,” she replies in a whisper.

“Someone is singing.”

“You’re imagining things,” Scully says, stepping forward, her heels clicking on the floor.

“Take off your shoes.”

“Excuse me?” She stares up at him.

“We need to investigate,” he mumbles, helping her slip out of her shoes. She can’t believe she’s doing this. As crazy as he might be, she’s not much better. “Let’s go.” He steers her as they make their way through the abandoned hallway. Scully glances up at the ceiling, wondering if any security cameras are catching this. If so, they will surely become water cooler topic number one again.

“There,” Mulder says. Before now, Scully hasn’t paid attention to where they are. Her focus has been on getting out of here. Who works until 10 p.m. on a Friday night anyway? Only Agents Mulder and Scully.

“This is Kersh’s office,” Scully hisses, and Mulder nods, his eyes huge.

“It’s coming from inside.” She can only watch as Mulder presses his ear against the door. His open mouth transforms into a smile and if she wasn’t so scared of getting caught – by Kersh, of all people – she might think of Mulder as adorable.

“Mulder, we need to leave.”

“He’s singing, Scully. Come here.” She shakes her head, not moving. “You want to hear this.” He holds out his hand to her and it’s his smile that wins her over in the end. Doesn’t it always? She takes his hand and lets herself be drawn to his side. There’s no reason for them to stand there tangled together, both with their ears pressed against the door. At first, Scully doesn’t hear it. She’s this close to calling Mulder out for hearing things that aren’t even there when she catches the voice.

“There.” Mulder’s mouth is against her neck and his voice is a low murmur, sending goosebumps all over her body. “Do you hear it?” She’d hear it better without his proximity distracting her. But there it is again. A man’s voice. Unmistakably their boss, A.D. Kersh. Now she understands why Mulder is smiling. She turns, her mouth hanging open in surprise. Hearing him sing is one thing, but hearing him belt out a cheesy ballad in perfect pitch is quite another.

“And you thought I was crazy.” Mulder is grinning from ear to ear as they continue to listen to Kersh’s surprisingly smooth voice. Scully tugs at Mulder’s sleeve to get his attention.

“Let’s go.”

“We’re almost at the great finish,” he mouths. “Listen.” Scully does listen, but more than that, she’s watching Mulder, unable to hide her giggle as he closes his eyes, mouthing the words along. Who would have guessed that Mulder knows the lyrics to “I Will Always Love You” by heart? Kersh hits all the notes behind the door, but out here, Scully is mesmerized by Mulder. His eyes pop open again, twinkling with warmth and amusement. The song ends, with Kersh still humming along. Scully doesn’t have Mulder’s bat-like hearing, but it distinctively sounds as if their boss’s voice is coming closer to the door.

“Mulder,” she insists, tugging at his sleeve again.

“We need to run,” he says and a moment later, they do. One of her shoes slips out of Mulder’s hands on their way to the elevator and he sprints back to retrieve it. Meanwhile, Scully is giggling, trying to be as quiet as possible.

“Stairs,” Mulder says when the elevator takes its sweet time. Scully groans, but follows him into the stairwell. They’re standing there, both out of breath, grinning at each other.

“Do you think he knew anyone was listening?” Scully asks, trying to catch her breath.

“No. He was in the zone. Who knew, huh? We only ever hear him bark at us and here he is putting Whitney Houston to shame. What about you, Scully?” He hands her her shoes back, but she’s not putting them back on. Mulder raises an eyebrow but says nothing. They make their way down the stairs.

“What about me?” she asks.

“Are you hiding a singing talent?”

“Mulder, you’ve heard me sing,” she reminds him. “I can’t carry a tune.”

“You carried that tune, Scully,” he says with a wistful look and she glares at him. “You have a nice voice. I mean you’re no Alvin Kersh, but who is?” His grin returns. “Maybe you could give an encore?” They’re almost downstairs now. What a Friday night. Once upon a time, her friends would call and ask her to meet them after work, get a drink, and maybe go dancing. But how can she feel like she’s missing something when she has a Mulder? Who’s invading her personal space while wearing the world’s cutest grin?

“I only sing when we’re lost in the woods,” she says, playing along. Before entering the parking garage, she puts on her shoes again. Mulder waits for her, playing with his car keys.

“So if I find us another-”

“Don’t push your luck, Mulder.”

“Just in case,” he promises. “If we ever do find ourselves in the forest again, you’ll sing.”

“Fine,” she says, but only because she wants to go home.

“It’s a date then,” Mulder says. “See you Monday, Scully.” He jogs off and she stands there, wondering what she’s agreed to.

Did he just say date?

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s6 episode 2 "drive" thoughts

after mulder made me cry with his sheer disrespect for scully in the last episode, i am approaching this one with caution.

we need to normalize asking people, especially coworkers, “what the hell is your problem?” and “if i am not the problem, why are you treating me like one?” idgaf about your tormented man angst!!! it’s not scully’s fault!!! 

he better have a good reason for all of this… this is NOT the mulder who i have been lovingly crafting playlists for!

scully will ascend to sainthood.

anyway. seems that mulder will be placed in another high stress situation today. can we stop with the pathogens? they’re freaking me out. 

post-episode thoughts: this was a very good episode of television, but not the best episode of the x files. like, the performances were stellar, the plot was juicy, the pacing had me on the edge of my seat! but i still prefer the episodes where they have a dramatic fight with tears OR just straight up cuddle. that being SAID, it was an excellent standalone episode and could be watched as such even if you didn't know a thing about this show. walter WHITE 💜

we open with breaking news!!! a car chase!! in nevada!! with someone else in the back seat!!!

the man who is putting the pedal to the metal has someone who is very sick in the back of the car. so the sheriffs are trying to lay a spike trap to stop him. and it seems to have worked!!

the cops are taking the speedy driver (later revealed to be named mr. crump), and he’s screaming for the sick woman in the car, vicky. she’s banging her head against the window and her head BLEW UP?????????

BLEURGHHHH. new disease where your head explodes just dropped.

shortened intro, as always i clock thee.

WAIT, GUEST STARRING BRYAN CRANSTON… isn’t he the BREAKING BAD GUY?? YEAH, HE IS!! oh, i am so ready for a PERFORMANCE!!

(i have never seen that show and i don’t really intend to, but i know it by reputation)

and he was in malcolm in the middle, omg… his range…

(and i do personally believe that mr. cranston delivered!)

good news!!! scully is here!!!! and so is mulder, but that’s not always good news. LMAO, this dude they're visiting thinks they’re jehovah’s witnesses. mulder marks a smartass remark and slaps a mosquito on his face.

i guess if you order 5,000 pounds of ammonium nitrate fertilizer, scully shows up. i shall have to give this a try.

farmer guy tries to open the door for them and it immediately shuts again LMAOOOO

he claims he is growing sugar beets! and he wants their assistance in finding his paperwork. lmao. meanwhile, the news of the car chase is playing on the TV, and has caught mulder’s eye…. 

oh mulder... he calls and gets them reassigned to go to nevada, and scully absolutely refuses! but on the subject of how they now investigate fertilizer, he has this to say: “this is the FBI equivalent of being made to wear an orange jumpsuit and pick up trash by the side of the highway” <- and you know what? i can’t really argue with him there. and you know i would if i could.

ohhh, so they got moved to domestic terrorism as a punishment!! scully thinks that if they do what they’re told, they can earn their way back up to the x files. interesting that they kept them together instead of separating them. not that i know how having an FBI partner works, but if CSM is really trying to kill mulder’s spirit as he alluded to last time, i would imagine they’d separate them. but then again, it does still have to be an interesting TV show.

mulder does manage to interest scully when he asks for her opinion on what really happened to that woman in the back of the car. she thinks the cops are lying about the woman, vicky, who was the driver’s husband, being shot. they claim her head just did that and no guns were involved, which is obviously not going to make sense to doctor scully. and mulder insists that they can be in and out of nevada in a day, and no one will ever know they took a detour. i paused while scully looks very pissed, but also, i can imagine, curious as hell. 

off to see walter white slash mr. crump in nevada!! i think his nose is bleeding as he lays in a jail cell, but it’s hard to tell because it’s so DARK. yes, this must be the case, because he wipes at the blood right after i type this up. augh, and there is terrible ringing in his ears. he yells and says “it’s starting!”

i feel the cameramen are trying to not show the top of mulder’s head. i am not judging, but just saying it IS noticeable. sometimes, when trying to not draw attention to something, you draw more attention to it.

they won’t let our agents see walter white AKA patrick crump, but scully wants to see his dead wife. mulder is hoping if he sticks around he can weasel his way into crump’s cell, which i know from reading the episode description to be a very bad idea.

stare at that big map, mulder. try to work out some directions. i know this is hard for you. why did crump drive one way and then turn the other? beats this sheriff.

YAY, SCULLY AUTOPSY TIME!!!! the body of vicky is weird. oh… her face is like…. gone?? kinda??? you know what, if i go into detail, my stomach will hurt, so we’ll just leave it at that. she says there is no gunpowder present!

OH MY GOD, NOT THE ZOOM IN??? INTO THE AUDITORY CANAL???? oh scully, your big words usually endear me, but in this case their accompanying visual is… making me sick.

“it’s like a bomb went off in her ear” <- huh. that doesn’t sound good at all.

MEUGH!! <- that is the loose transcription of the audible, terrible gagging noise that came from my mouth as we got ANOTHER cut to the tissue of the ear…….. again, normally “tumefaction within the lateral sinus” in scully’s voice would make me weak in the knees, but… not now. not like this.

looking at my phone and not my laptop….. la la la la 🎶

AUGH, IT BLEW UP ON HER????????

oh god. see, scully is in a bad situation, which prompts me saying “augh”, but now *i* risk fainting as well. 

sigh.

meanwhile, walter white aka patrick crump is being taken in an ambulance, as he is getting worse and worse. mulder cannot join them in the ambulance, despite his very best attempt to do so, so he tails behind. it seems that if the ambulance drives fast enough, he stops feeling so terrible!! but crump sees the gun in the sheriff’s holster….

AND HE PULLS IT OUT AND HOLDS IT UP TO MULDER!!!

NOOOO!!!

scully is trying to call him, and also shooing out a random assistant who comes into the autopsy room, because this lab is QUARANTINED! GO!!! which makes me sort of happy.

ohh, she’s stressed, but she is gonna tell mulder that “you sure do know how to pick ‘em”, which is deeply sweet of her. another person is dead from the same thing, and she wants him to quarantine crump’s cell. and STAY AWAY FROM HIM!

well. this did not happen. 

listen!!! have crump answer the phone and tell scully what the hell is going on!! she is a doctor!!! maybe she can help him!!

(scully slaps a piece of yellow legal paper with her cell phone number up against the glass) <- LMAOOOO this made me laugh, but she is SOOOOO mad!!! 

the CDC is going to be there when they stop that car, and they had BEST be wearing level two OR BETTER anti-contamination suits!! you heard her!

oh. crump says that if the cops don’t pull back the escort following the car, he will shoot mulder. which leaves scully in a tight position.

so, they do in fact give him some room. 

NOOOOO!!! crump throws mulder's cellphone out of the window!!!!

“what are you doing? what the hell are you doing?” “what, what am i doing? i’m composing a sonnet. what does it look like i’m doing? i’m slowing down for a light” <- yes. i did giggle. i am not immune to angry mulder witticisms.

but crump is absolutely BELLOWING that he has to keep going. and he begins the process of blowing up when mulder turns the other way in order to prevent this from happening!!!

he wants to know wtf is happening, but crump is in so much pain he’s not explaining. that, or he isn’t willing to. 

and they lose their tail from the police!!! i guess driving headfirst into traffic probably helps with that.

why does scully look so good in her scrubs? all serious and with her arms crossed……..

this does not make up for exploding ear drums.

oh no!!!! director kersh is calling!!! asking where she is!!! which gives us her wonderful line “sir, i am not currently in the state of idaho”

he says that some field agents will be able to help track down mulder, but that “i think at this point, i want to see him alive even more than you do” <- WHY IS THIS DUDE SCARY?? this is the first time we get to hear him talk!! and i’m spooked!!! where is my kind uncle skinner?!

oh shoot! scully realizes that maybe this dude who also died had been in contact with vicky and gotten infected!!

mulder is trying to save this dude’s life, but he’s bitching about not being addressed as “mr. crump”. seemingly a charming fellow! (/s)

HE ASKS IF MULDER IS JEWISH????? 😳 my face rn… what kind of priorities does this dying man have??

mulder goes “the wrong way”, and crump starts banging his head into the wall!!! i didn’t know this condition had geographic rules…. so he pulls the other way

what kind of illness makes you need to go west fast?

people in hazmat suits are investigating the crump house, including scully!!!! there’s a dog!! and it’s going crazy!!!! nooo! please, i don’t want to see this dog blow up!! 

NOOOO!!! scully just wants to sedate him so she can get the blood sample, but he EXPLODES ON THEM!!! oh my god!! WHO CAME UP WITH THIS EPISODE???? NOT THE DOG DYING, TOO!!!

here i was hoping he would pull through and scully would get another dog from a case :(

crump is recounting to mulder his tale of waking up, seeing his wife had a nosebleed, and then her getting a headache that got worse and worse. he started to take her to the hospital, and she would get better as he went faster, and worse when she slowed down.

HELLO??? mulder says he’s sorry about crump’s wife, to which he is met by the reply “sure you are. you and the rest of your jew FBI” <- WHAT????

(hearing him say these lines was legitimately shocking. i had mentioned this before in another episode writeup, but knowing in some compartmentalized area of your brain that people genuinely believe such things vs hearing them out loud are two very different experiences)

he thinks the government did this to them, and he says he saw them sneaking around his woods at night… well, buddy, it does sound like you have a conspiracy afoot, but you can't blame some guy you've never met nor the collective jewish population for that

this shuts mulder up, (does he feel bad as he realizes that this man was taken advantage of by the same government he knows well to kill and maim with no consequence?) but not before he says “well, on behalf of the international jewish conspiracy, i’m just here to inform you that we’re… almost out of gas”, which presents some issues

back at the crump place, sadly, the others are carrying the dead dog away 💔

scully sees something glowing in the distance!!! it’s a neighbor with a dead bird? but the bird doesn’t look exploded!! just normal dead!!! 

poor scully is yelling out in her suit, which makes it very hard to hear what she is saying. 

ohhh, she finds the neighbor woman, and she is deaf, so she must be unaffected by the condition!!

meanwhile, mulder is trying to get gas so he and crump can keep going. but the jerks at the gas station aren’t letting him get gas without paying!!!! so he puts crump in someone else’s car and takes that one!!!

OHHH, HE LEFT A NOTE FOR "AGENT DANA SCULLY FBI" IN THE OTHER CAR…. ohhh my GOD………. he must have known what would happen…..

scully is trying to comprehend how the condition only effects people who can hear. and she takes off her helmet!!! what if they need to hear a sound in order for the symptoms to begin? well, if that is the case, i would be plugging my ears!

mulder's note explains that if he doesn’t stop going west, crump will die. scully tells the sheriff to believe him… ah, her trust in him… wonder if that trust is RECIPROCATED… !!

oh, she finds a bunch of dead birds on the ground, and hears weird interference!!! coming from a government... thingy in the ground!!!

crump is telling him to go faster because it is getting worse. and then says “the jew stuff. uh, no offense. a man can’t help who he’s born to” which is… uh… character development, i guess?

i will give mister walter white guy this, the man can perform. crump is saying it’s not fair to take away his dignity; the government should have just let them die instead. and mulder says he can’t stick it to the government if he dies!!! which gives crump hope!!

but there isn’t much west left to go, because they’re in california!!!

scully is at a naval base now, sans protective equipment!! she wants to know what kind of electrical stuff is being run in crump’s town! 

LMAOOOO, the guy from the base thinks she’s with the FCC, and she’s trying to play along with it, but she’s a terrible liar. that’s my queen 💜

(sometimes she can lie and sometimes she cannot. i love that for her <3)

naval base guy claims that a power surge effected their equipment that stretches into crump's town, and it won’t happen again, but he can’t tell you what such a surge would do to the human body. damn. that's incriminating

it’s the next morning now, and some people in motorcycles are bringing a cell phone to mulder!!!! somehow he gets it!!!

on the other end of the line, it’s scully!!! she has a theory!!! E.L.F. fields stretch onto crump’s property!! and an overload could have shattered his inner ear!!! and maybe movement would keep it from blowing up. but why west?? maybe it has to follow certain lines of force??

scully says she thinks she knows what has to happen, but it’s nothing crump will like. mulder sighs, says he’ll be there, and hangs up. oh my god, he’s going to have to watch this dude blow up…?

(author's note: i thought that scully was implying the only way to "help" crump was to put him out of his misery, hence my bracing for the worst. i was sort of wrong, but also sort of right)

mulder says that scully will put a needle into his ear to relieve the pressure, and it will leave him deaf. crump asks, “but i’ll live, right?” and when mulder nods, he says “well, that’s what it’s all about” OH NOOO… is he lying???

crump asks him to go faster and faster….

scully is waiting there with a needle!!! so mulder wasn’t lying!!! look at her as she tries to figure out how to do this!!! 

BUT NO!!! he didn’t make it in time!!! crump blowed up!!!

look at poor sad mulder!!!!!!!!!!!! he walks to the water and takes off his tie!!!!!!!!

woah.........

back in DC, kersh is yelling at them for their expense reports. “why don’t you bill me?”, spits mulder. “i’ll bill your partner instead. you two obviously relish the role of martyr” <- DAMN???

mulder gets pissed and leaves, and scully tries to tell kersh that he has been through a lot. he says she apologizes for mulder often, and she clarified that she isn’t this time around. they uncovered a conspiracy and saved the day!

this kersh guy is CRAZY. she points out that the navy shut down their program that was KILLING PEOPLE, and he says they claim it’s just a coincidence, and he doesn’t care how many people they save, they’re not on the x files anymore.

HELLO???

who sent this man…?

so, i feel like i can recognize that this was objectively a very good piece of TV. the acting was spot-on, the pacing was intense, and the plot was good. that being SAID, even if it was objectively good, it isn’t one of my favorites. definitely not one of my least favorites!

it further established the evil-ness of the government and how mulder and scully are willing to risk everything for their own respective goals, (which are, of course, the Truth and Saving Lives), but the system at hand wants to prevent that from happening no matter what the cost. which i think is very interesting. i also think it’s interesting that crump was right about the government doing this to him, even if he was wrong about there being a whole international jewish conspiracy group behind it. it was a lack of care for the citizens that the government lords over that got him there. 

and mulder being unable to save him, even though he tried so hard… while i am still mad at him for being whiny and mean to scully, seeing him work so incredibly hard to save crump and be unable to really made me sad. so did the way he took off his tie after all of that driving, staring out into the water...

whatever it is that kersh has going on is also very interesting. i absolutely do not trust him. which maybe makes me think i SHOULD trust him… but probably not. 

it was a good and interesting episode, but i like the episodes where they hold each other the very best, so, you know. not my exact cup of tea. any time they're not in the same room i get sad!

[eretzyisrael]

by Canaan Lidor

Mervyn Kersh, a Jewish Londoner and D-Day veteran who turned 100 on Dec. 20, has lived through some of modern history’s most tumultuous chapters.

But the events of recent months have stirred fears in Kersh unlike anything that he has felt since he stormed the Normandy beaches 80 years ago, Kersh told JNS in several interviews in the last few months.

Fears for the destruction of Israel—a place this British patriot also calls home—and about antisemitism on display in his native England.

Kersh, who fought with the British Army during the Allied invasion of Nazi-occupied France, now fears both for the safety of the Jewish state and for that of Jews in the United Kingdom. (He celebrated his 100th birthday with family in London.)

Looking back on his role in helping liberate Western Europe, Kersh has mixed feelings, not about the bravery of his comrades or the necessity of the war but about whether the sacrifices he and others made still hold the value they intended.

“I thought what we did was worth it,” he told JNS. “I have my doubts now.”

The Hamas-led terrorist attacks in southern Israel on Oct. 7, 2023, which Kersh calls his “first home” even though he has never lived there, and the resurgence of Jew-hatred in Europe and beyond have left him questioning whether his generation’s hard-fought victories have been eroded.

“Our politicians are repeating the same cowardly lack of military action as those politicians did in the mid-1930s,” Kersh said about the British position on Israel’s fight against its enemies. “All words but no action while the enemy was still relatively weak.”

The recent decision by French officials to honor Gaza Strip journalist Motaz Azaiza during the D-Day anniversary events, which Kersh attended in France in June, added to Kersh’s disappointment.

Azaiza, who has accused the Jewish state of “genocide” and justified Hamas’s actions, received Normandy’s Prize of Liberty. That included a $27,000 award, but it was mostly the symbolic weight of the recognition that angered Kersh.

‘We became occupiers, victors’

This frustration is just part of Kersh’s broader unease. Rising Jew-hatred, both in Europe and internationally, has cast a shadow over his belief in the progress made since World War II.

“I thought life in the U.K. and Europe was pretty good for a long time,” Kersh said. “But since October, it’s really changed. The way so many have jumped to attack Israel—verbally, physically or financially—has me deeply worried.”

Kersh’s connection to Israel and his Jewish identity runs deep, dating back to his youth. Born to “British, British, British Jews,” Kersh grew up in London during a time of rising antisemitism. 

Bullied for being Jewish, he learned to box to defend himself. By the time he joined the British Army, he was unflinchingly open about his faith, even wearing a dog tag identifying him as Jewish despite the risk if the Nazis had captured him.

Kersh told JNS that he knew “plenty” of Jewish young men who wrote “CofE,” for Church of England, on their dog tags.

“I kept mine as ‘Jew,’” he said.

During the Normandy campaign, Kersh took pride in his dual identity. “I was a British soldier but more importantly, I said I was a Jewish soldier,” he said. 

When his unit entered Germany, one of his first stops was Bergen-Belsen, the concentration camp where tens of thousands of Jews, including Anne Frank, perished.

He could not enter the camp due to a typhus outbreak, but Kersh met survivors who reinforced his connection to the Jewish homeland. “Every one of them, except one, wanted to get to Eretz Yisrael,” he said, using the Hebrew for the “Land of Israel.”

Kersh’s visits to pre-state Israel in 1946, while still in the British army, cemented this bond. His pride in his Jewish identity has been a constant throughout his life, even during moments of danger, he told JNS.

“I enjoyed telling German prisoners of war that I was Jewish,” he said, of his encounters during the war.

Reflecting on his wartime experience, Kersh spoke of a shift in perspective as the Allies advanced. In France, Belgium and the Netherlands, he felt solidarity with the people he helped liberate. But crossing into Germany brought a sense of justice.

“We became occupiers, victors. That made a big difference,” he said. “Liberating the French, Belgians and Dutch felt good. But defeating Germany—that had to be done.”

Nearly eight decades later, Kersh fears the world is losing sight of the lessons of history. As antisemitic rhetoric and violence surge, he sees parallels to the threats his generation fought to overcome.

“Israel is again facing a Nazi enemy, only this time by another name,” Kersh said, of jihadist terrorists.

Kersh’s perspective is informed by decades of covering Jewish community and general current affairs as a journalist. 

Before his retirement, Kersh had worked as news editor for the now-defunct South African Jewish Herald and as the writer of Kersh’s Corner, a column in a regional paper in Manchester and Liverpool. He also ran a small printing shop business and wrote a study of the events of the Torah and early Prophets, until  the death of King Saul.

Despite his current concerns about Jew-hatred, Kersh draws hope from the Jewish people’s resilience.

“We’ve been through so much, all the way back to Abraham, the fighting Jew,” he told JNS.

[tardisteam1]

Finished season 8…

This shit deserved the award for the most stressful season of a tv show ever and the last episode the most stressful episode ever because wtf. I was genuinely shaking for 20 mins after I finished it. Had to have a jam session to calm myself down.

On the bright side everything is okay with Scully and Mulder, Skinner is finally safe from Krycek and I’m actually excited to see what Dogshit and Reyes get up to next season!

[randomfoggytiger]

Mulder's Alien Baby Baby Trauma In-Depth (Part XIX): For Whom the Phone Calls, and a New Beginning

Mulder's resignation.

It's hard to tackle this subject because Requiem's lingering shadow casts a long, gray, and confuddled interpretation (or lack thereof, post here) over the whole. In the Bellefleur motel, he tells Scully "There's so much more you need to do with your life"/"There's so much more than this" on the heels of the FBI's clenching jaw and her sudden illness. But how much of that statement is spurred on by her health and losses; and how much is born from Mulder's own desire to leave the conspiracy behind, closure in tact, and chase a better work-life balance with Scully?

As previously explored in this series, Mulder wasn't ranting and raving to get back on the files after his resurrection-- only jumping at the chance when he misconstrued Doggett's intentions (post here)-- and he wasn't ranting and raving to help Monica Reyes on her own x-files investigation until she pleaded for his help (post here.) In Vienen, he sent the Galpex oil rig files to Doggett first and only forced himself onto the mission (feeling miffed and betrayed, post here) when the other agent didn't care to look into the case. In Alone, he told Scully "You paid your dues there, Scully-- more than paid them." And he meant it: in that episode and in Essence, he only got involved to help (or protect) his partner. Mulder was going through the X-Files motions without truly putting his heart into it. But yet, he was torn up about leaving. Aye, that's the rub-- at what point did Mulder know he had to walk away, or perhaps even wanted to? Is it conscious or unconscious: something he wants, or something he knows will happen, period? What is desire and what is instinct? What is self-preservation and what is inclination?

This topic, I've decided, has to largely be set aside. We won't have answers in this post; but I do think we will, eventually (in Alone at least.) Or as close to answers as the show's lack of "domestication" will allow. Until that time, we press on.

THE CLOSING OF AN OLD CHAPTER

In the seven-year journey to closure, Mulder and Scully forged a partnership together: opening old wounds in order to air and clean them, supporting each other in times of love and crisis. He stood by her side during her cancer and she cut open his mother for his sake. Then he found Samantha and she spoke to god-- key parts in their paths to separate wholeness, necessary for their complete healing.

Then he was taken, swallowed up by aliens; then she took up his mantle and headed the files in his stead. Scully grew into a woman of diamond, impervious to the scratches of others (post here); and Mulder into a man who was forced to recognize his own limitations. She knew her time on the files was closing, and hoped to find Mulder beforehand-- and succeeded, and failed; and mourned and moved on (post here.) He was returned, blinking and afraid in the light of this new life-- not just the one that moved on without him, but the one that needed him. After almost dying (again) and seeing his own partner on the (possible) brink of death herself, and witnessing the aftermath of that great and tragic loss (via John Doggett's pain), Mulder decided not to have any regrets and openly showed his partner that he had embraced their child.

And then, Vienen. And then his fears were becoming realized ("When he's old enough, tell the kid I went down swinging.") This-- where he now fits in-- wasn't just about him and "the truth" anymore. He "needed" to be out there, but his baby (and Scully) needed him to be here, wherever 'here' was to this coming child.

And finally, between jumping in terror from a burning oil rig (post here) and flying back to the wrath of fire-breathing Kersh, a decision was formed: Mulder would take the fall; and hope against hope that his gamble-- and new dependence on Doggett-- would pay off.

It's about time, too: Mulder craves simplicity, normalcy-- air freely breathed without lies to taint it. Truth without danger. An idealist at heart, he recalls old memories and halcyon days through rose-colored glasses, confessing in Home, "...This brings back a lot of memories. My sister... all day pick-up games out on the vineyard, ride your bikes down to the beach, eat bologna sandwiches. Only place you had to be on time was home for dinner. Never had to lock your doors. No modems, no faxes, no cell phones.... You know, my work demands that I live in a big city, but if I had to settle down, build a home... be a place like this."

But Mulder is also a man who tied himself to his quest. In the name of his mission, he set aside "a normal life" to find his sister; then to expose the truth; then to atone for his father's sins; then to atone for "failing" his mother. At last, Samantha's closure set him free; and the FBI's new restrictions and Scully's sudden illness made him reconsider their (or her, or his) life on the files. Since his resurrection, however, those thoughts were set aside as PTSD bloomed to the surface and heavy topics had to be processed and dangerous quests "had" to be recklessly pursued.

But now... now he has a kid on the way; and that kid cannot become another failure on his part, albatross weighing him down with regret.

RESIGNATION

Doggett arrives back at the basement, finding Mulder once again in the office: full circle-- the same players discussing the same case. But this time, there are prices to be had and consequences to pay. 

Mulder is lounging in Scully’s old area-- a purposeful placement, the former head now straying away from his place at the desk-- feet propped up on her station and staring hard at the wall when his replacement barrels in, unaware of his presence. “Where’s the fire, Agent Doggett?”

“I’ve been called up to see Deputy Director Kersh-- as have Agent Scully and A.D. Skinner. I think it’s hitting the fan,” Doggett informs him, harried and rushed. 

“You mean with Galpex Oil?” He rises, shoulders sagging and posture slumped. His face is etched with a wearied emotion-- resignation. Perhaps depression. 

“Word came down that Galpex has lost the right to drill that entire Texas oil province.”

“That oil should stay right where it is.” 

“You should do everything in your power to make sure that it does,” Mulder adds, approaching through the shadows as his feelings melt into resolve.

“...Me?” Doggett parrots, cautiously, none the wiser at the other’s affirmative nod. 

The phone rings, like before (post here); and this time, Mulder doesn’t hide that he knows who it is. “That is the Deputy Director calling to tell you there is no need to see you,” he informs, without pretense-- voice clear and almost light. He’s made a decision-- one that he’s certain, in better moments, will be the right one.

Sensing something afoot, John Doggett listens, expression hawkish in anticipation.  

“That the blame,” Mulder continues as the ring tone drones on, “has been properly assigned for what happened out there on that platform.” 

Fiddling with his fingers, keeping his head down and eyes averted, Mulder turns away and walks to the front of the desk. “I’m out,” he confesses, lips pursed as he grabs his coat for the last time. “86’d, Agent Doggett.” 

He keeps his eyes down: humbled, swallowing the sting of humiliation.

“What do you mean?” Doggett says, at rigid, bewildered attention. Tilting forward, disbelieving, he realizes, “You’re out of the FBI?”

Coat on, Mulder mutedly drawls, “Kersh could barely contain his happiness when he….” Smacking one hand against the other, scrambling for words, his shoulders shrug off the blow. “...Stuck it to me," he adds, talking past the blockage in his throat.

Finally, the ex-files member looks up, grim, letting Agent Doggett fill in the blanks.

Smart man that he is, John Doggett deduces the truth. “So you’re taking a fall?” he pinpoints softly. 

Unable to deny it, Mulder tries to shrug it off as no big deal-- head flicking away, mouth pulled into a careless ‘well, you know’ expression. 

“Not for me?” Doggett begins-- he will not let a good man take the fall in his name. 

Mulder reveals he'd predicted this reaction-- he now knows his "replacement"'s character-- by rushing in and barreling over Doggett's objections with iron determination. “For you, for the X-Files-- you’re all the credibility this office has left. You have Kersh’s ear and you have seen it now. Out on that platform. You saw it for yourself.” 

His expression is wounded and determined: a sentence unto death has been passed, but like any true seeker he must be sure another searcher will continue to hunt for the truth. This man is his only hope-- perhaps Doggett’s temperament, his particular ability to move through the world, can do the good under Kersh that he, Mulder, won’t be able to do. 

Mulder's singular "you're" also stands out. It implies what his partner will confirm in the next episode: Scully won’t be coming back. Their time together on the files has drawn to a close. As previously discussed (here and here): while the FBI is a considerably safer career than most, the X-Files department is not. Mulder can no longer take the chances he's done in the past and risk not coming home; and he takes that lesson to heart... so much so that he steers Scully away from the files, too, when she sneaks back to help Doggett.  As much as this departure pains him, Mulder can walk away in good conscience: Agent Doggett has proved his integrity and his ability to follow the truth to its conclusion. “You saw it for yourself” is a way of acknowledging that he knows the other is a changed man, just as he was changed years and years ago by his own first encounters. He trusts and believes in Doggett. Moreover, he needs him there to do the work. 

The two men stare at each other, reading the honor and finality of the moment. 

THE DAWN OF A NEW DAY

And this is when everything clicks for Fox Mulder: one second, he's dejectedly mulling over his expulsion from the FBI, and the next... the phone rings again.

Mulder shades his eyes briefly, contemplating-- 

--then suppresses a smile and tilts his head from Doggett to the desk.

In that split second, something changed: he decided to trust that the files would be in safe hands; and let go.

"Answer the phone, Agent Doggett. You’re in charge here now." Leaning forward, he offers a handshake (his first)-- a gesture to repair what Doggett endeavored to build (post here.)

There's a last flash of stark emotion-- reality setting in during the act of verbalization-- that creeps into Mulder’s eyes: pain rising over impending loss, resolution firming in the face of change. Doggett sees this; and, moved, responds in kind, clasping his hand firmly in kinship. 

As the ringtone echoes on, Agent Mulder slips out the door, arms swinging stiffly behind him. His sister's picture stays behind with his reluctant replacement-- a beacon to help guide the next wandering, lost, and lonely soul. 

And as he disappears, we are left with one thought: Mulder, despite all odds, seems content. Not happy, perhaps; but not unhappy, either. Readjusting, surely; but as quietly and carefully as a rower might over a calm, unbroken lake. Easing into a new future, peacefully. Mulder is waking to a dream come true-- abduction, PTSD, and resignation notwithstanding.

Fox Mulder is getting his happy ending.

Or so he believes.

CONCLUSION

The sun has set on Mulder's reign.

What does this mean for him? A long spiral? Peaceful contentment? Despair over losing the past ten years? Excitement for the future? A combination of everything, or something else entirely?

Thanks for reading~

Enjoy!

[lunarskye]

Every Power Ranger

↳ Charlie Kersh as Minh Kwan - MMPR: Once & Always (2023)

[oldmanbracket]

Sexiest Old Man Tournament: Round 2

Who is hotter?

[the1013file]

[withnailrules]

Currently (re)reading. Love the cover! 1960

[thena0315]

Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: Once & Always

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

(Art: ‘Fallen Angel’ [detail] by Alexandre Cabanel)

* * * *

The passion for revenge should never blind you to the pragmatics of the situation. There are some people who are so blighted by their past, so warped by experience and the pull of that silken cord, that they never free themselves of the shadows that live in the time machine. And if there is a kind thought due them, it may be found contained in the words of the late Gerald Kersh, who wrote: “There are men whom one hates until a certain moment when one sees, through a chink in their armour, the writhing of something nailed down and in torment." 

~Harlan Ellison

+

They tell me to be discreet for all intended purposes. They tell me revenge is sweet and from where they stand, I'm sure it is.

But I feel nothing for their game where beauty goes unrecognized. All I feel is heat and flame and all I see are dark eyes.

- Bob Dylan

+

“And since the masters Make the rules For the wise men And the fools, I’ve got nothing, Ma, To live-up to….”

-[Dylan again, of course]

[smbhax]

Cover illustration by Richard Powers

Info from ISFDB