#Kim dokja…. strangles him.

[buqbite]

73rd Demon King

[mx-yip-yip-hooary]

i hope u dont mind the ask bc ur tags opened more cans of worms and i cannot reblog this one post 50 times kdjfhgkdhg

this close,,,,,,, god,,,,,,,,,,,, on reread the Enemy of the Story arc hits so much fucking worse because that was the time he WANTED to live and that too he wanted to live with THEM, he wanted an ending where everyone was happy and alive and he could finally picture himself there too. he could've sacrificed himself all over again but this time he actually tried,,, even collaborated with yjh,,, he TRIED,,, he was ready to go to the epilogue TOGETHER

but then the subway doors opened and he saw a young boy sitting on a bench......... and he couldn't forgive him. all that progress shattered because the guilt drove him insane,,, he could've found a compromise w the fourth wall, maybe. there were other options. but he didnt want the other options. he wanted to atone. OUGHHHH MY CATHOLIC GUILT-RIDDEN BABYGIRL

"MY CATHOLIC GUILT-RIDDEN BABY GIRL" why is this one of the most accurate statements ever made about kdj

AND YOU GET IT. YOU GET IT.

he wanted to live,, he forgave himself (kinda. as much as he can.) but he just couldn't forgive the boy on the bench. he was LITERALLY confronted with his inner child and wanted to kill him im

FUCK i just. ough.

he forgave a part of him. but he couldn't forgive himself, entirely. wait shit is this why he goddamn split im going to give myself a concussion

look im high on caffeine and its 4am. my brain is just turned into mush that occasionally begins breaking out in sobs when presented with kim dokja. however if his fuckin inability to forgive all parts of himself is the reason why he split himself im going to jump out of a window /j

[driftwoodcryptid]

rip to kim dokja he would have loved the way people on tumblr talk about fictional men they’re obsessed with

[luvxiem]

THE DOKJA CAMEO IN WORLD AFTER THE FALL 😭😭😭

[writingpun]

I'm never going to be over Kim dokja realizing that the god responsible for all suffering in the world was a little abused kid...but BECAUSE the kid is his younger self his immediate reaction is to try and fucking strangle him. Like that's so Much in every level. What the fuck

[youarentreadingthis]

the way kdj's reaction to sp feeling sympathy for him as od is to go "but i didnt even suffer compared to you". kim dokja im going to strangle you <- sobbing

[alycias-wonderland]

Hello there !! How are u?? I am having my exams and I need some relief can u do another kimdokja x reader x yoo joonghyuk smut add anything u like ....thanks

Alrighty then! One smut coming right up, my love❤! Good luck with your exams.

Moans bounced about the walls as Kim Dokja pounded mercilessly into your hole. You had made the mistake of spending the past 3 weeks paying extra attention to Joonghyuk due to an injury he had gotten on one of his missions.

Unfortunately Kim Dokja hadn't taken well to that, which was why u were currently tied to the bed, face pressed up against a pillow with your ass up as he pounded into you.

"Gods above, you're so fucking tight... "

You heard him whisper in your ear as his pace picked up, hands fondling your nipples as moans continuously spilled out of you.

"Kim-hng! Haah~Hah~! Dokja please~!"

Your pleas fell on empty ears as your tears fueled Dokja's arousal.

Suddenly the door slammed opened and you lifted your head in a panic, relaxing slightly as you saw Joonghyuk in the doorway, a frown on his handsome face. Behind you Dokja had slowed his pace, a sneer escaping his lips.

"So you finally decide to join us Joonghyuk. I don't know who you think you are, trying to take away all their attention like that. So I guess it's only fair I get a turn no?"

When he finished his sentence he thrusted into you particularly harshly and a strangled moan escaped you as you made eye contact with Joonghyuk.

Slowly a smirk made its way on his face as he strides towards the bed, harshly grabbing Dokja's face as he stopped his thrusts.

"Aw~Were you jealous you weren't given enough attention~? Don't worry Dokja, I've got stamina for days."

At this statement, Joonghyuk all but ripped off his jeans and aligned his dick with Dokja's hole. Panicked, Dokja turned around,

"Hey hey, what are you doing-HaAh-!~"

Joonghyuk slammed into Dokja, the vibrations travelling through his dick and into you, making you gasp.

"Dokja start moving. We don't want them to feel left out now do we?~"

Slowly, Dokja started thrusting into you, occasional moans escaping him as Joonghyuk's dick grazed his prostate.

After a few minutes of slow thrusting, the pace from both boys picked up as Joonghyuk continuously slammed into Dokja, the force carrying over and him slamming into you.

"Joonghyuk!~ Aaaah~! Haah-Hng~~!"

"Dokja~! Joonghyuk~!"

Let's just say y'all were making up for lost time, during the whole night.

[swdm360]

ORV—Not Supposed to Happen

➡ 〔Kim Dokja x AMAB! KPOP! Reader〕

➡ Letter Content: Where a kpop idol loves to read webtoon after practice. His group's holiday turns into a nightmare fest and now he struggles to accept his reality.

➡ Messenger Note: If I wrote a fanfic lol, TW: Mentions of death, murder, blood. I mean, it's the first scenario cmon.

---

How could the protagonist of ORV adapt so easily? How could he have thought so fast in the matter of a few minutes? How could he be so lucky?

Well, you weren't him.

You didn't have fourth wall like every fanfiction out there may suggest... Why not? You're just as well aware of this fictional world as Kim Dokja is, so why not you?

You asked these questions because unlike him, you had to follow the rules in the first scenario. You had blood on your hands.

The blood of a friend turned traitor. Now, you're desperate to have a peace of mind. Where else other than by the actual protagonist, Kim Dokja's side?

---

This wasn't how the holiday was supposed to go.

This wasn't a dream, you've tested it. The pain is real, the squeeze in your heart felt real, the blood trickling down from your cheek to the floor felt and so did the multiple wounds on your arms felt real.

【The constellations applaud your tenacity.】

This... Was supposed to be fictional, a fun little webtoon to read after practice.

So why were your friend... Your family sitting in a sea of their own blood? Why did you hold the knife and why was it lodged into your mates' head?

Why are your hands red?

Why are you trembling, crying?

【Congratulations! You're the only survivor in this room!】

【300 coins gifted for completion. 】

A scream echoed in the hotel room.

Was that screaming you?

Was that why your throat is parched?

Shit.

You let out a sob, your hands smudging the large window panes overlooking Seoul with red. Your body felt weak as if you were contracting the worst of covid-19's symptoms kind of weak. The 'running a 5 lap, 1000m marathon' kind of weak, the 'danced everyday, without sleep, without rests and without food for hours on end' kind of weak.

I mean, how could you not feel exhausted? You were roomed with the main dancer in your group who regularly exercised—in addition to that, one of the former gymnast champions in all of Japan.

It's a surprise you survived instead of him.

A weakling, only ever locking yourself in your room despite being the lead dancer just to get a chance of reading the ever-so-popular omniscient reader's viewpoint.

ORV in short.

You were close to the main dancer, someone who you won't name as a friend anymore; He who jumped at the butter knife and launched at you to survive. He who screamed for you to give in because he would make sure to avenge you.

Avenge you?

You weren't even dead.

Of course you'd fight for your life.

How could he attack you in your most vulnerable state? You thought you could trust him. He was your friend after all. He was supposed to protect you. How could he try and kill you?Ha. You didn't even know you had it in you to break his wrist, to pick up the knife and stab it through his head whilst he was strangling you.

You didn't know you had the guts in you to kill.

To kill your own.

You stumbled into the wall, your breathe barely catching the needed oxygen for you to survive as the sobs successfully slipped out through your lips.

Staggering, you approached the doorway. Dismissive that you would regret not collecting the items you needed for survival going forward as all there was in your mind was your other group members.

What about the leader and the youngest? What about the staff members and the assistant trainees? Are they alive? Are they dead? Did they kill to survive too?

Your hand twisted the doorknob, but you didn't open it.

"(Name)...? Y-you're alive?"

It's your leader. Your eyes were getting heavy, either way you willed yourself to look into theirs.

He must've been expecting him...

【The Constellation 'Blind Hunter with Lion Skin' is interested on how you will take care of this one. 】 【The Prophet whose prophecies were not believed bets that you will spare him. 】

"...Sunbae."

Your knees buckled below you. A headache forming in your head from the messages.

Luckily, your leader catches you, his hands trembling as well but his face steeled at your state.

"I... I killed him." You stuttered out, body flinching as his hands gripped your shoulders.

"Shh... It's okay now." His voice spoke ever so softly, as if you would break if handled roughly. He placed your head onto his shoulders as he rubbed your back in a comforting manner.

"He tried to—he went for me."

"I know. I know."

"I'm scared."

"I'll protect you. Your sunbae will take care of you." Liar.

His voice hitched.

He's as scared as you were.

His hands... They're red too.

Flashback? Idk yet, these two constellations are my fav.

[cittielinks]

voice actor!kdj

Voice Actor!Kim Dokja. 

Kim Dokja is not a well known voice actor. The only reason why he voiced acted was that he needed money to save himself from starvation after quitting Minosoft. It didn’t pay well but it will suffice.

And he had fun, surprisingly. He gets to voice characters that give the stories life. He loves it but he simply wishes they could pay him higher. After years of voice acting he was able to voice in most of the games/ animes there are… but the thing is he was never the main character. He would either be an NPC or the brother of the main protagonist sometimes he would be a character that dies in a few episodes. Not an extra but not worth remembering. And for Kim Dokja it was fine because in his head all characters are essential to the stories and being a part of it matters to him. Not fame or money just being able to be them for a quick second matters. 

—

There is only one voice that could make the Yoo Joonghyuk melt. 

Yoo Joonghyuk has been listening to one voice but in a different character. He doesn’t know why it just lurked him in. From the waiver of his voice whenever there is an emotional scene or to the way his voice dimmed when he finally knows it's his ending. It just sends Yoo Joonghyuk shivers down his spine. He wondered why the person behind such a melodic voice didn’t get any protagonist part. It is really hard to look into the life of the voice actor. 

The guy’s name is Kim Dokja, known for his variety of voicebanks. He doesn’t have any socials nor any face reveals. He’s just there and yet the voice he uses to create characters is so bizarre and so complex. Like he knew how crucial such a character is to the story. 

Over time, Yoo Joonghyuk fell in love with the voice his face he couldn’t see.  And though he could not meet him in person he was forever grateful for the man whose voice he loves.

He is contented.

Han Sooyoung invited Yoo Joonghyuk to an ani/game convention. Since he didn’t do anything he said yes, he needed to look for some gift for Mia anyway and lately Mia was into princely type ladies. 

Han Sooyoung mentioned that she was bringing another friend who is a voice actor and didn’t interact with people for a month and she’s forcing him out. Yoo Joonghyuk shrugged, he didn’t care. 

“This stupid squid is so late as always! He is pissing me off I will literally shove a tomato in his mouth I swear to God,” she grumbled, checking for her phone once again.

Yoo Joonghyuk leaned on the wall, as they wait for her friend. 

“FuCK! there he is! YAH! Kim Dokja YOU BASTARD” When Han Sooyoung spotted her friend, she yelled at the man who was running towards their bubble. Yoo Joonghyuk blinked, he stood rigid. 

Kim Dokja? Oh, no no that’s simply coincidence.

There’s no way Han Sooyoung is friends with Kim Dokja ( his favorite va, the person whom he would be willing to way dirt. ) 

When Han Sooyoung’s friend finally arrived, he was wheezing and sweating after running. He wiped the sweat that was falling on his neck.

He looked at Han Sooyoung with an irritating look then at Yoo Joonghyuk, he stared for awhile and blinked owlishly, he tilted his head a bit and smiled.   

“Hi! I’m Kim Dokja. I hope I didn’t make you wait. You must be Yoo Joonghyuk!” 

Ah, there it is. 

Yoo Joonghyuk stumbled, and his knees immediately weaken.

No fucking way is this the voice ( man??) of his dreams! He was literally thinking of him ( his voice) every night. But alas he is really real and really pretty. And Yoo Joonghyuk can’t wait to hear him scre— 

He cleared his throat,

“It’s nice to meet you”

when he spoke his voice changed pitched and cracked. Han Sooyoung laughed loudly, Yoo Joonghyuk can’t help but blush in embarrassment, he wanted to strangle this witch. 

when he heard a cute giggle, stopped glaring, and looked at Kim Dokja.

Shit, He fell in love once again and this time it’s the man who made him go weak with his voice ( but he doesn’t need to know that yet—)

[joongdokshitposting]

Alright I know I said I'd ramble about orv after exams but I've been consuming orv animations on youtube since 8 in the morning (it's 10 now) and I really really need to talk about how angry I get at the thought of Kim Dokja like DUDE OH MY FUCKING GOD WE LOVE YOU AND YOUR STUPID FUCKING DENIAL RIDDEN BRAIN I'M GOING TO STRANGLE YOU PLEASE STOP OFFING YOURSELF FOR FIVE MINUTES MY BROTHER IN CHRIST YOU'VE GOT ALL OF US MOPING IN MISERY MAN (I just,, i love him so so much and it PAINS me to see him deny it so vehemently but then he's exactly like me so it's like aw fuck but also like dokja PLEASE I'm begging you, you can rest now, you can stop now, you don't need to fight the literal cosmos to be deemed worthy of love my dude good god I just wanna hug this dumbass)

[makethosenarratorsfight]

Propaganda for orv

I did not read through all 500+ chaoters of orv in FOUR DAYS just for some other narrator sad boy to get the unreliable narrator crown

In orv you constantly have to keep second guessing Kim dokja because everything he says sounds super fuckig weird. Hell talk about how his bestie companion YJH wants to murder him in his sleep and then two chapters later, YJH shows up to save Kim Dokja from getting his scrawny ass handed to him and KDJ has to spend the rest of the chapter or 2 trying to rationalise why YJH even bothered. He does this with EVERYONE. After reading it I came to the conclusion that in the narration of life EVERYONE is an unreliable narrator because we are all fundamentally biased and without the facts and our thoughts and overthinking will always at one point be proven wrong.

I need to strangle him over a bridge before throwing him over to a therapist (affectionate)

[irlkdj]

joongdok – small things

Yoo Joonghyuk never thought he’d miss the small things. The way he throws his head back slightly when he laughs, or how he can bolster up a crowd. That specific brand of ass-kissing that always pissed him off so much. That stuck-up attitude that made him want to strangle him with his own two hands until his veins were bulging up under the skin.

But it’s more than the things that caused him annoyance. There was the gentle way he stroked Lee Gilyoung and Shin Yoosung’s heads. The way he easily bickered with Han Sooyoung. His playful banter with Jung Heewon and the warm smiles that he gave out to his companions easily. He found it admirable–how easily this man could maneuver through tough situations. His cocky demeanor was agitating, but it was a veil that covered his insecurities, something Yoo Joonghyuk had begun to notice. He’d never tell Kim Dokja about his observations; he isn’t good at expressing himself, you see.

But if he could just have him back–if he could hold a dispute with him once more, roll his eyes at his antics, call him a fool: if he could go back. But this isn’t like the other regressions, what if Kim Dokja wasn’t there? Fear flooded his senses, and that fear came with the realization that at some point he had grown to love such a fool. Perhaps, in the end, he was the real fool.

[lynnx-oo]

Wolf Yoo Joonghyuk and Fox Kim Dokja, nsfw

Wolf Yoo Joonghyuk playing with fox Kim Dokja’s ears and accidentally turning him on

Kim Dokja was talking about something again but Yoo Joonghyuk was not listening at all. He tried to concentrade but his eyes kept wandering to Kim Dokja's twitching ears.

His ears looked so fluffy and cute, he just had to touch them. He knew that if he interrupted Kim Dokja he would get angry at him but the fox was just too tempting to resist.

So, his hands find their way to Kim Dokja's ears and he started out with curiously touching them to seriously petting them. Kim Dokja's brain completely stopped working for a solide minute and his face turned from a pale white into a deep shade of red.

"J-Joonghyuk w-what are you doing?!"

Yoo Joonghyuk didn't know either but he liked the reactions he got out of Kim Dokja, so he continued.

"Ngh...ah s-stop!"

Kim Dokja was confused and embarrassed as he could feel himself slowly growing hard and he couldn't stop trembling. He tried to hold back his moans of pleasure but it was no use because Yoo Joonghyuk was relentless in his actions.

"Seems like your ears are your weak spot Dokja."Yoo Joonghyuk smirked as he wispered. 

His hot breath against his ears turned Kim Dokja on so much more and his pants got unbelievably tight.

"Joonghyuk stop-ah t-teasing me!"

That made Yoo Joonghyuk let out a small chuckle and then he licked Kim Dokja's ears.

"Ah- t-too much p-please Joonghyuk."

Tears stares to form in his eyes. He needed more so so much more. He couldn't wait any longer.

"Please touch me more I need you Joonghyuk."

Kim Dokja couldn't believe what he just said but he couldn't take it back anyway. Not that he wanted to. He meant it. He wanted Yoo Joonghyuk inside of him.

"You're so needy today Dokja"

Yoo Joonghyuk made fun of him, but still listened to his request and touched Kim Dokja all over his body. From his nipples to his belly down to his hard and already leaking cock.

Yoo Joonghyuk undressed both of them and started to prepare Kim Dokja's hole so that Kim Dokja could take him without any problems.

"More..ngh!"

Kim Dokja's moans really tested Yoo Joonghyuk's patience today, but he held himself back. He didn't want to hurt Kim Dokja even though he wanted to strangle him sometimes.

Yoo Joonghyuk took a moment to look at Kim Dokja's whole body, it was like a meal only for Yoo Joonghyuk's eyes.

 "Joonghyuk put it in already!” Kim Dokja pouted impatiently.

"How cute." Yoo Joonghyuk said as he did what Kim Dokja wanted.

He thrusted his entire length inside of him and hit all of Kim Dokja's good spots. That made Kim Dokja gasp as he keept moaning so prettily underneath him.

 Kim Dokja's ass was high up in the air and his face pressed down on a pillow. His cock kept rubbing against the sheets as Yoo Joonghyuk continued thrusting into him with a steady rhythm.

 Kim Dokja's pale body was gradually flodded with kiss and bite marks showing who he belongs to. His neck and entire back was getting loved by Yoo Joonghyuk and started to turn red.

 "Dokja you're mine."

 Yoo Joonghyuk growled as he bit into Kim Dokja's shoulder and pulled on his tail.

 "J-Joonghyuk I'm g-gonna cum!"

 "Yeah? Go ahead."

 "AH- nghhh-"

 White cum splattered on the sheets before Kim Dokja collapsed on the bed.

 You look so beautiful when you feel good Dokja."

 Yoo Joonghyuk said softly as he turned Kim Dokja's face around to kiss him on the cheek.

 After that Yoo Joonghyuk slowed down the pace of his thrusts because he knows that Kim Dokja likes it when he's more gentle after he came.

 Yoo Joonghyuk took great pride in being to be the only one who has seen this sight of Kim Dokja, laying on their bed while he's naked and panting after he came.

 Just thinking about it turned Yoo Joonghyuk on.

 "J-Joonghyuk why did you get bigger again?!"

 "It's your fault, you have to take responsibility Dokja."

 “Wait how is this my fau-"

 Kim Dokja got cut of in in the middle of his sentence as Yoo Joonghyuk picked up his pace again.

 "You're too sexy."

 Yoo Joonghyuk stated as he chased his own release.

 Being inside Kim Dokja felt so good he couldn't hold himself back anymore.

 He kept calling Kim Dokja's name over and over again till he filled Kim Dokja up with his cum.

 “Joonghyuk I know you love me but stop doing things like that when I'm talking to you." Kim Dokja scolded him while they both laid in their bathtub

 "What do you mean by things? Making you feel all hot and bothered?"

Kim Dokja's face turned red from embarrassment.

 No matter how long they were together, he could never get used to this flirty side of Yoo Joonghyuk.

 "Stop it you know I don't like it when you talk like that."

 "Alright whatever you say my Darling."

 "Hmpf"

 Kim Dokja angrily turned his face away from Yoo Joonghyuk.

 Yoo Joonghyuk let out a small laugh. He really loved him.

 "I love you"

 Kim Dokja really couldn't win against his boyfriend.

 "I love you too Joonghyuk."

-The End-

posted first on Twitter 4th September 2022

[readers-folly]

Kim Dokja had always felt as if there was a gaping hole in his heart, bandaged and cared for, but never filled. An empty void, so small that, if someone were to stare for an extended period of time, it would grow larger, seem… wrong, somehow. Almost as if it were an optical illusion, and would bend the laws of physics if given the opportunity.

He felt it shrink and fill with laughter, or his beloved webnovel, but never overflow. Felt it grow as he spent another length of time in the afterlife, or watching his companions suffer, or a plan backfiring. The hole would absorb all those memories of joy from before and leave none for him.

And so, it should have been no surprise when, one day, instead of the hole growing in his heart, a purple hyacinth appeared in his lungs, slowly suffocating him, and strangling his throat.

Should I continue with this because i’ve never written angst before (._. )

Yes? No? Potentially?

[luxaofhesperides]

our passage of haunting

grief and the empty spaces that accompany it.

in which lee jihye and maritime war god carry what they can of the people they’ve lost.

also on ao3 and part of @themazine, which you should all download here!!

. . . . .

The only survivor of Taepung Girls High School. 

This is not a title that she wanted. Lee Jihye did not want to walk out of that school alone. She didn’t want to walk out at all but she survived and survivors had to move on to the next scenario location. 

As Kim Dokja said: Nobody “deserves” to live, but if you’ve survived, take responsibility!

She walked out of that school numb and shaking, tears falling from her eyes but only vaguely aware of them. It was as if she was looking at the world through a pane of glass; she could see everything, but it was out of her reach.

Her hands still feel foreign. How does one forget the sensation of strangling another? How does Lee Jihye go through each day without breaking down to the memory of Na Bori’s throat in her hands, Na Bori’s fingers gentle on her wrists, Na Bori’s final breaths beneath her hold?

There is an empty space where Na Bori should be. Always beside her, the absence is a ghost itself that Lee Jihye holds onto tightly; she has nothing, but this nothing is the last thing she has of Na Bori.

[Constellation ‘Maritime War God’ advises his incarnation to sleep.]

Lee Jihye barely glances at the message. “I can’t.”

[Constellation ‘Maritime War God’ looks sadly upon his incarnation.]

[Constellation ‘Maritime War God’ reminds incarnation ‘Lee Jihye’ that he will listen if she wants to talk.]

She looks down at her hands. They’re empty, and yet—

She is a murderer, but so is everyone else that’s survived this far. She is a child, but there are no children in the Star Stream. She is alone, but she is surrounded by people she will kill for and who would kill for her. 

She is Lee Jihye, and she should not be here.

“Why did you choose me?” Lee Jihye asks. It’s not what she wanted to say, but something between grief and loss and rage caught in her throat and the question came out instead. It’s not something she’s really thought about. Things have been too busy, and Lee Jihye likes busy; if she’s focused on survival, she doesn’t need to think about emptiness inside her that she ripped open herself.

“Why not anyone else? Someone who isn’t scared of the sea? Someone stronger?”

Her throat tightens. Somehow, Lee Jihye didn’t realize how much it was bothering her. 

Why would she be chosen by a constellation named Maritime War God? There are so many better options. She’s just a teenage girl, too old to be a child and too young to be called an adult. She’s nothing special, just the survivor of a high school massacre done solely for the entertainment of uncaring constellations. Now that the question is out in the air, she’s realizing how desperately she needs an answer. 

There’s a lot she’s been running from, lately. This is just another. 

Maritime War God is silent. Had she been outside, she would have tried to find his star, make sure he hasn’t abandoned her. 

But she’s not. 

Lee Jihye is inside, back to the wall watching everyone else sleep through the open door. She’s far enough away that they won’t hear her speak, but close enough to keep an eye on them. It reflects much of how she feels these days: on the outside, looking in.

She’s idly counting each time she clenches her hands into fists, reaching 43 before an indirect message arrives.

[Constellation ‘Maritime War God’ would like to honor his friend through incarnation ‘Lee Jihye’.]

[Constellation ‘Maritime War God’ remembers how ‘Lee Eokgi’ did not abandon him when others had, and wishes to return the favor by taking care of his descendant.]

Lee Jihye stares at the indirect messages. She reads them again. Then once more. 

She doesn’t cry, but it’s a close thing.

[Constellation ‘Maritime War God’ understands that the weight of a life is heavy indeed, and to kill a beloved friend will hurt in a way that never heals.]

[Constellation ‘Maritime War God’ mourns the people he loves, who can only live on in his stories.]

[Constellation ‘Maritime War God’ reminds his incarnation that her friend does not blame her and gave her life so that incarnation ‘Lee Jihye’ can live on.]

[Constellation ‘Maritime War God’ hopes that one day incarnation ‘Lee Jihye’ can remember not only the pain, but also the love of her friends.]

Lee Jihye scrubs at her eyes roughly, ducking her head to hide her expression from view. It does nothing to stop the tears that quickly spill down her cheeks or the sob that fractures itself out of her chest. 

It hurts. It hurts.

Being alive hurts but she has to live because Na Bori gave up her life for her. She has to live so Na Bori’s death can mean something. 

“How can anyone live like this?” she asks, voice weak and heavy with tears. “How does anyone survive? I want her back. I want her back.”

Through the doorway, she catches sight of faint movement. Jung Heewon shifts, rolling away from Lee Hyunsung to place a hand on the hilt of her sword. No one wakes. Her grief is hidden away from them for another night. 

She hears more  indirect messages come in, the sound calling her attention.

Swallowing heavily, Lee Jihye wipes her eyes roughly, blinking back her tears, and looks up to read.

[Constellation ‘Maritime War God’ recalls the day he was pushed into a lake by his subordinates after losing a drinking game.]

[Constellation ‘Maritime War God’ laughs at the memory of accidentally smearing ink on a friend’s face after writing.]

[Constellation ‘Maritime War God’ reminisces about sailing on a clear summer day and tripping over a soldier who was taking a nap.]

Lee Jihye smiles. “I did that too, once. Na Bori didn’t want to play volleyball so she took a nap on the floor and I tripped over her trying to get the ball.”

[Constellation ‘Maritime War God’ is looking fondly upon incarnation ‘Lee Jihye’.]

[Constellation ‘Maritime War God’ wishes to hear more stories from the life of incarnation ‘Lee Jihye’.]

It’s hard to find the words. To find a voice for her life before the scenarios. She’s thought of it endlessly, in dreams and nightmares and slow moments when they could all take a moment to breathe. 

Everything had ended and began the moment she killed Na Bori. She can barely recognize the girls in her memory when she’s changed so much.

But she’s the only one with those memories. No one else knows what she and Na Bori were like before. All they know is that one killed the other. Nothing else. Maritime War God knows nothing about the cheerful, lazy, funny girl who was afraid of insects, just as no one knows about the people he’s loved and outlived. 

There are no graves in the apocalypse. 

In Memory Of in this world means there is only memory. They are the living graves of others. 

Lee Jihye carries the ghost of Na Bori with her. This is the only way either of them can survive—one the urn, one the ashes. 

But it’s not the only thing she carries.

“We got lost once,” she says, “On a school trip. Got distracted by a cat and when we looked up everyone was gone. They were only a block away but with the way Na Bori acted you would have thought we had been abandoned forever.” 

[Constellation ‘Maritime War God’ laughs heartily at the story and recalls how he, too, once got lost in a market following a cat.]

“Once during summer vacation we went to a park and I found a cicada shell. So I went to show her since it’s not really a bug and she nearly scaled a street light to get away from me.”

[Constellation ‘Maritime War God’ remembers his friend being scared of octopus and nearly fighting a fisher trying to sell him some.]

There’s a lull in their conversation before Maritime War God sends his final message for the night.

[Constellation ‘Maritime War God’ is proud of his incarnation and honored to be one of the few to hear about ‘Lee Jihye’ from before the scenarios.]

“Thanks,” she whispers, engraving the indirect message into her memory. 

It’s not the Maritime General he sends the message to. Not the survivor of Taepung Girls High School. 

Just Lee Jihye. 

Just the girl and the friend she survives. 

She is Lee Jihye, and that means something. It means something to the constellation who looks after her as best he can, to the members of the company who always make sure she has something to eat, to Na Bori who haunts her because she gave her life for Lee Jihye.

It has to mean something.

[sctir]

WIP Word Search Tag Game

ty for tagging me @phrazmur :D!!!

rules: search for the words given by whomever tagged you within your wip(s) and post them for us to see! Then tag as many people as you want and give them five words to find in their works.

silence

"Yes," Yoo Joonghyuk parrots, taking another sip of tea. When it becomes obvious, after several long seconds of silence, that he doesn't intend to elaborate, Kim Dokja elbows him in the side and uncovers his face. He's blushing.

ice

The hand that Yoohyun isn’t using to strangle Yoojin’s arm in an iron grip bats hers away. “Your hands are like ice, of course he’s going to feel warm,” he snaps, palm settling over Yoojin’s forehead and obscuring his view once more. They come to an awkward stop in the middle of the hall, quiet for a moment before Yoohyun’s hand falls away and he says, carefully neutral, “I’ll have them bring a thermometer up.”

dry

“I know,” Yoojin says dryly. He takes back everything he’s said about the kids getting along— this is terrible. “I only need an hour, if even that long. Just to feed the unicorns, and Sorokie.”

dawn

“It is almost certainly not a curse,” Sung Hyunjae notes helpfully, eyes flicking towards Yoojin. “Since I embraced Han Yoojin-gun until dawn.”

open

Han Yoojin tilts his head, sweeping the room with a deliberating gaze; unconsciously, Yerim finds herself mirroring him as he contemplates. “Oh, how’s this,” he says after a moment, nodding at the front desk. “Open the cash register— I’m robbing you.”

tagging @butterfirefly, @yersina, @forechoes, and @koipalm !! no pressure + sorry if you've already been tagged <3

your words are pour, shiver, sweet, attempt, and snap 💜 !!!!