#Kimchaycau

[wildelydawn]

Woke up this morning thinking about Macau and Chay and their reluctant proximity in the Main House after canon happens. No one knows why Chay’s dropped out of school but Macau finds out. He finds out and he feels just a bit jealous because everyone around him has someone, and he feels just a bit sad because Chay did have someone and now Kim’s gone.

He does his best to help Chay move on. They develop hobbies together. Movies. Gaming. Chay even starts writing music again. He admits to Macau that he used to write little notes on cute stationary paper for Kim and now doesn’t know what to do with the other 100 sheets. So Macau teaches him how to fold the notes into little shapes so he can write and put them away, like Pete taught him. (Something something, Pete is a father and brother and mentor figure, Pete is just perfect)

Somewhere along the line, Macau sees how Kim is pining just as badly for Chay. He convinces Chay to hear Kim out. It’s not easy for anyone; Chay is confused, Kim is broken, and Macau is watching his friend leave him behind. But Macau, who’s always been a smidge selfish, finds himself okay with that. It’s okay to be left behind because Chay and Kim can be happy. He just hopes it’ll be him one day.

He and Chay spend another day folding notes. Chay folds a really simple flower and says he’s going to be honest today, with everyone: Kim, Porsche, etc. Macau watches him write I love you into another purple note before folding it into another flower. He should feel sad. He’s not.

Days later, Macau is only beginning to make his peace with Chay going back to Kim. But it’s okay because Chay still hangs out with him. Kim does too. It’s like they’re inseparable, and Macau feels safe. He wonders if Kim’s just putting up with him but Kim has a way of making Macau feel like he’s not alone, not the forgotten son of this family. He and Kim go out for smoothies and judge the Thai Top 10 weekly singles. Kim picks him up from school and even pays a visit to Vegas when Macau wants to switch faculties. Whatever their new bond is, Macau is grateful because he doesn’t quite know what love is, but this is very close to that. At least he has his friend and his family.

Macau thinks he’s fine until Chay shows up at his dorm room, the folded purple flower from weeks ago, in his hand, telling him that he needs to be honest with Macau too. Macau breaks down, sobbing. It isn’t right, it’s not supposed to be him. And he’s so scared. He’s so scared that Kim’s gonna be mad. That if Chay stays a minute longer, he’s going to lose his best friend and his cousin all at once. He cries so hard that he wants to throw up, but it’s Chay soothing him. It’s Chay, and then it’s Kim, and it’s them, and Macau doesn’t know how it’s supposed to be but for the first time in his life, he knows it’ll work out just fine.

EDIT: This is officially a fic now!

[therapeutic-dose]

60, 70, 80, 90 for the writers asks! And wild card for 100: as a fellow KimChayCau writer, what drew you into writing about that pair specifically over something like KinnPorscheBig, etc? :3

60. where is the most dangerous place you've written fic?

Ahaha, honestly? Probably in my teens on my family's desktop computer. It was in a Microsoft Word document, I think? Just some really bad way-too-young-to-be-writing-this fanfic. It was the early 2000's and the desktop was centered in a the livingroom where you could walk by and see the screen at any time. Any time at all! And family had no clue, somehow, but maybe that's because it was like 2001 and they weren't worried about anything but me being in weird chat rooms lol

70. are you very critical of your own writing?

Yes, horribly so. I'm constantly editing as I write (though I've been much better about it since I started sprinting), and then edit a great deal before publishing. I go back and forth between thinking my writing is try-hard and purple and stupid and thinking that it's actually pretty good, but I think my main worry is that I'm a decent writer, but not a good storyteller, if that makes sense? The actual writing itself isn't bad, but I lose faith in my ability to tell an overarching story, and that leads me to a lot of edits as well.

80. do you try to put themes, motifs, messages, morals, etc into your writing? if so, how do you go about it?

Yes, absolutely. I almost beat them to death in my stories lol. I'm pretty obvious about them, and they're usually adapted into how the characters think. For example, in Harmony's Overture (and the whole of In Three Movements) music is a major part of how the three of them think and interact because it's so intrinsic to them. Music lends to the theme acceptance and stepping fearfully out of isolation, because music itself is so profound in what it offers us - not only catharsis and comfort, but the community it brings. It worked well for the theme of found family, in this case their individual notes becoming chords, played together not to change them, but to make them exist as something more together. Wounds and sickness also runs through the entire series as a commentary on not only how we perceive ourselves, but how we have to open ourselves to healing hands if we want to feel and be better - and that sometimes the illness is incurable, but you're allowed to breathe and be loved anyway. And I get heavy-handed with religious imagery with VegasPete, for obvious reasons lol. I'm digressing lol, moving on.

90. do you notice your own voice in your writing style?

In dialogue, sometimes, especially when it's banter or chit-chat. As far as prose/internal monologue I bleed so much of my actual self and the emotions around my experiences into my writing that it's hard not to see some of that reflected back at me, though I think I'm pretty good at becoming the character when I write them. (I think that's what this as asking? Lol)

100.

So to be honest, I'd read a bunch of MacauChay and enjoyed it, but was really wanting to explore Kim, and KimChay didn't quite have me by the collar enough to explore them. I also wanted to explore Macau for a lot of different reasons, so I landed on writing KimMacau. But I actually felt kind of sad leaving Chay in the dust, so I wasn't sure exactly what to do there. KimMacau truly began because I got eaten alive by this idea I had in a discord server that 6-year-age-gap Kim and Macau had been besties when they were younger, until Kim got VERY weird about it and yeeted himself out of Macau's life (breaking his sad little wet cat cousin's heart). I wanted to write a really twisted Kim, but I didn't want to write about him hurting people he loves by being toxic in the traditional(?) way - and that in combination with me feeling bad about Chay being left in the dust had me making a way for him to be very much a part of the story. After the end of part 1, part 2 erupted out of me because I just wanted to see what could happen between that version of Kim, this lonely and depressed version of Macau, and this twisted up, damaged, conflicted version of Chay. As for other throuples, so to speak, I think I just never quite vibed? I'd been so obsessed with VegasPete and couldn't really find anyone I wanted to put them with... And then somehow, when that original KimMacau story nagged at me forever, I decided this would be THE route haha.

Thank you friend, these were so fun!

[fanonplussed]

Hello this is your Secret Santa! What would you really like to see in a gifset?

Hey!! Okay so I'm not sure what's a good way to give prompts for gifsets, but since every ship I requested (romantic or platonic) has Macau in it and I know he has barely any screentime, please feel free to do whatever you think is best with what little exists (feel free to use clips from outside the show too, like the bts clips with the actors and stuff, if that helps) ^^; Basically Macau's my stealth favourite, I head-canon him as a gremlin teenager who has a healthy and loving relationship with his brother, who will inject hilarity and honesty and uncomplicated affection into whatever close relationships he has. If you're doing macauchay and kimchaycau, literally do anything shippy and I will be over the moon (AU? Canon? Meta in gif form? Mood board? Go wild)! If you're doing Macau&Chay or Minor Fam Trio, I would love to see any take on them in any kind of canon setting (pre/post/during all okay)! Good luck, tbh if this gifset contains Macau I will be so so happy already so have fun!

[fishy-xp]

kimchaycau headcanons because yes absolutely

aka macau being the absolutely WORST because my canon is kimchay (romantic) and macauchay (platonic/bromantic)

macau being the touchy little man from the minor family he is, always always has his hands all over chay. he has an arm around chay when they’re out partying as a sign of protection and because it makes chay feel a lot more comfortable. macau's hands tighten slightly where they rest on chay’s thigh whenever his father is brought up. it verges on too tight but chay lets him until macau’s hand loosens and his shoulders relax.

macau kisses chay on the forehead whenever kim is around just for the sake of it and it makes kim want to pull his hair out.

macau and chay always having little gossip girl sessions about their love lives. macau groans into a pillow as he relays his interactions with the gorgeous doctor he’s interning with and chay giggles. chay is blushing to no end as he tells macau about his first time and macau is awwing at how sweet and nice chay’s partner sounded, taking good care of chay, until porchay hits him with the ‘p’kim’ and macau has a heart attack

a stoic kim comes up to the two who are eating lunch together at the table. he stares pointedly at macau who looks back at him with a puzzled look. ‘what?’ kim doesn’t reply, but his eyes darken. ‘what?’ macau repeats himself. ‘move.’ ‘oh? why?’ kim’s hands ball into tight fists because vegas would kill him if he hurt macau in any substantial way. kim settles for pinching at his cousin’s ear and dragging him off the seat. macau yelps and concedes. kim slides into the chair next to a very confused porchay. ‘how was your day chay?’ ‘um,’ porchay looks past kim to see a pouty macau holding his ear and storming off, declaring that vegas will hear about this, ‘i’m doing well p’kim.’

porchay and kim are talking about getting married. well, more like porchay is creating a very VERY intricate hypothetical of their wedding as kim lies there, agreeing every so often to chay’s outlandish ideas. porchay stops talking suddenly and turns to look at kim with those big, sparkling doe eyes kim loves so much. ‘you know macau has to be my best man.’ kim stiffens, ‘macau is not invited to the wedding’

whenever chay and kim fight, macau is the first person chay turns to as a crying mess. macau is immediately ‘wtf he’s an asshole, you deserve so much better than him, you can do so much better than him. his dick isn’t even that big anyways, we don’t want no short dick man in this house. divorce papers now. here, let’s dye your hair green.’ but then as soon as porchay is out of tears and passed out in macau’s bed, the youngest theerapanyakul is skrr skrr’ing on his Ducati to his cousin’s and immediately grabs him by the collar all ‘what the hell you doing man, get your boyfriend back you pussy. beg for him back, on your knees. that’s your mans, you can’t give up on love bro, ohmygod go to him. LOVE HIM LIKE YOU MEAN IT, LIKE YOU NEED IT.’

macau calls porchay one night when porchay is with kim and asks to speak to his cousin. chay puts the phone on speaker and kim leans in slightly, confusion on his handsome features because why does macau want to talk to him? ‘p’kim, guess what?’ ‘what?’ ‘i just had sex with dr tap and he’s so much better than you! chay, i’m so sorry you’re stuck with such mediocre dick!’ the phone hangs up and kim is cursing so many profanities, chay begins to learn english.

macau always send kim ‘get better soon’ cards, not because kim is sick, but as a warning that he better be treating porchay right or there will be hell to pay

kim is the one who pays for macau’s therapy and sets him up with the best psychiatrists possible because he knows what it’s like to be trapped in your own mind and a quiet, pensive macau is much more terrifying than an obnoxious, little shit stirrer macau

macau regularly dresses up in kim’s sparkly leather jackets, statement jewellery and plays random chords on kim’s guitar whilst singing cheesy love songs to chay like a yowling cat. he ends it by smashing the neck of the guitar onto his knees and breaking it rockstar style before kim strangles him

[wildelydawn]

Whatever Pieces Come Your Way. | A KinnPorsche: the Series Fanfic.

Welcome to my KimChayCau agenda. I have the first 20K/6 chapters written, plus the ending. If you want to know how this story ends, you can read the original post here.

Summary:

Macau starts a reluctant friendship with Porchay, and then a little more when he helps Kim and Porchay find each other again.

Read the story here!

[wildelydawn]

Whatever Pieces Come Your Way. | A KinnPorsche: the Series Fanfic.

Thanks for all the feedback in the first chapter. I'm really enjoying writing this and I hope you're enjoying reading it! Here's the second chapter. 🖤

Summary:

Macau starts a reluctant friendship with Porchay, and then a little more when he helps Kim and Porchay find each other again. Chapter Two: Everyone Needs Dinner Plans.

Read the story here!

[wildelydawn]

Anyways, today I am determined to answer people back, I finally think I have the courage to do that, and maybe respond to comments too, and watch some White Collar so I can prepare for benji's kimchay white collar AU.

I've been writing KimChayCau for the last few days and I didddd dabble in some VegasPete again. I think all the rewatch content on my dash is slowly melting the writer's block.