#Kite is doing his best his real flaw is just Being Unlikeable

[honestlyvan]

Zeon/Kite/Juniper thoughts:

Kite is, on the one hand, still struggling a little bit with Juniper being Agnian, from another colony and also good old-fashioned ???? gender???? b/c that's the text, babeyyy and on the other feeling guilty and like he's betraying Zeon all over for being so interested in Juniper and getting close to them

and meanwhile Zeon and Juniper are like "Friend?" "Friend!" "Friend!" *do a little dance like Furbies and then hold hands* and talk about how both of them are worried that Kite is once again trying too hard on his own and they wish he'd just talk to them :C

[gayregis]

Hi! I've followed your blog for a while and love your individual takes. Can you do a succinct character study of Milva? I'm thinking of writing with her soon. (Bonus points if you could hypothesise how she'd intereact with other witchers of Kaer Morhen).

i have awakened

to me, milva represents the dichotomy and conflict between vulnerability and strength. she’s an inversion / subversion of the “action girl” trope - the girl in a group of guys who is just as badass as any of them... (more information on the trope here and here). the trope of the action girl is also intended to be sexy and conform to the expectations of the viewer, still feminine in appearance or having a “glow up” moment where she discovers femininity and is happy with it.

milva stops all of this bullshit in its tracks in manyw ays. primarily, she is not perfect and infalliably strong. instead of being capable in everything with no real depth or difficulty, she actually struggles immensely and has many self-percieved flaws and insecurities. just because she’s a badass in combat doesn’t mean she doesn’t have emotions. she berates herself, particularly in baptism of fire, multiple times for being illiterate / uneducated / “simple”, as well as a woman. throughout baptism of fire (the only book of the series where she actually got any development, let’s be honest) she is faced with her insecurities extensively. 

milva was raised in a very traditional sodden peasantry upbringing, from which she was taught lessons about how men and women are expected to and “should” act. she rebelled from this, seeking ways in which she could not conform to the expectations of womanhood - she prides herself on her strength, which is her skill at archery. when she is reduced to her gender, she becomes indignant and volatile as she should: we can see this possibly best demonstrated when she punched cloggy for his misogynistic demands to her, and gave him a concussion with one punch. she reacted in this way not only because his views were bigotedm but because she has spent her entire life saying, “i’m not what people expect of a woman, i’m not!”

thus goes that when she had to reveal her pregnancy to the group, she was ashamed of herself and very insecure. she had spent much effort rebelling from “traditional feminine roles”, but now was restricted to exactly that - pregancy, which is a role of a “traditional woman” in her cultural gender norms. as she says to geralt, she compares herself now to a chicken, instead of a red kite (a “milva” in elder speech, and “milvus milvus” in real life scientific terminology). she took the name red kite because it’s a bird of prey, it’s ferocious! it kills without looking back... and she felt then that she “got herself stuck” in a situation where she was expected to care and nurture - the complete opposite of what she has based her identity around. this is the dichotomy of maria, her birth name, and milva, her chosen name. when she reveals her pregnancy to geralt, she refers to herself resentfully as “a millstone, a typical bloody woman!” because she resents herself for being now tied to the social expectations of womanhood through her pregnancy.

additionally, her pregnancy showed that she can be swayed by social pressures, or was at once swayed - instead of laughing in the face of traditional femininity, she felt pressured to act as the she-elf in the scoia’tel squad did, she was socially pressured into having sex with a man. her pregnancy is a result of her exposing herself to a traditional feminine role (which she didn’t enjoy, but now still has the consequences of).

she likely felt too guilty to abort the pregnancy because childbearing and rearing is an expectation traditionally placed upon women.

she continued to travel with geralt after she found out that his quest was to save his daughter, because her logic was that if she would lose her own child because she did not want to carry the pregnancy to term, she could at least endavour to save geralt’s child - it would be “a life for a life,” rather than just having an abortion on her own and “losing a child” without ‘making it up somehow’ (again, conservative ideas, because that’s how she was raised and precisely what she is trying to outgrow in her character development).

(this excerpt is from another ask i answered about milva’s pregnancy)

what her development is, is accepting that she can simply exist as herself outside of the confines of social pressures. she has to ask herself what SHE wants, not what other people want or expect from her. instead of trying to rebel from what her traditional society wants from a woman, or trying to follow the needs of a man (geralt), she has to do what she wants for herself. for example, in tower of the swallow, she cuts her virgin’s plait because “she’s not a virgin, nor a widow.” this can be seen as her growing away from the expectations of a virgin, being open about the fact that she is no longer a virgin, but still conforming to the societal standards which surround them.

milva’s other subversions of the action girl trope come from being independently masculine (instead of “i learned it from my brother”) ... she learned archery from her father, but he died when she was young, so she didn’t receive mentorship far into her childhood. another way she subverts her trope is that the action girl usually is fanservice-y and is thus pretty much a “sexy lamp”: i.e., a sexual object (”if you can take out a female character and replace her with a sexy lamp “). she comes off as a real person with deep emotions, so that rules out being a lamp. additionally, she is sexy as in she is attractive, but she is not meant to be a romantic interest for geralt or any of the other male characters. she does not wear feminine clothing ever (refused to get into a dress in lady of the lake), she wears men’s clothing which is remarked upon several times. 

milva also is independent out of survival. when her father died and her mother remarried, her stepfather abused her, and her mother did not stand up for her. in self-defense, she beat her stepfather to death and ran away from home. she’s been mostly along since then, hunting alone, though she collaborates heavily with the dryads of brokilon and scoia’tel commandos. she has a difficult time trusting others to have her best at heart, because no one has ever looked out for her besides herself.

other (obvious, but important to state) character traits include:

directness. why say three dozen words, when three will do? she doesn’t beat around the bush and will say the truth without mincing words or making pleasantries.

short temper, and impulsiveness. her exhausted gaze became that of a wolf. don’t fuck with her. sometimes she says or does things she regrets immediately after.

maturity. she is not above apology and admitting her faults and weaknesses. unlike geralt in baptism of fire, she is willing to accept the company of comrades once they have gained her trust.

moments of clarity? sometimes, she can just say exactly what is going on, in a very sort of meta way. such as in baptism of fire when she says that to her it seems that everyone who comes into contact with ciri dies.

action, not words! as opposed to characters like regis, she doesn’t spend her time philosophizing or thinking too much about things. if something needs to be done, she gets it done immediately without overthinking the options. she’s good on her feet this way, but finds discussions about ‘what could be and why things are’ confusing.

in regards to how she would interact with the other wolf witchers:

i think she would try to fit in with them as much as possible, maybe feeling a need to get validation and respect from them as they’re capable fighters and men, she would want to be seen as their equal and afraid that they wouldn’t see her as such. but they are cool guys, so i think they would like and respect her. if geralt was around, i think she would be in even better spirits, and she’d have good humor probably (razzing geralt about being a handful, how’d you grow up with this guy, has he always been like this hahaha...). it also depends on who else is in the scene but that’s how i think she’d interact with them. she’s similar to geralt in many ways (strong but very insecure) so i think they’d appreciate her. she would probably see them like the brothers she never had.

[akocomyk]

The Top 10 Books I Read in 2017

Funny how I wasn’t able to read as much books as I wanted to despite the fact that I wasn’t really doing anything for two and a half months.  I was able to read 25 books in 2017, just enough to hit my Goodreads 2017 Reading Challenge.  Usually, I go over my pledged number of books.  This was the only time, if I remember right, that I wasn’t able to surpass my reading challenge.

Finishing that challenge was an effort, mind you.  I finished reading the last book for 2017 on December 30, and i pushed myself just so that I can finish the challenge.  I blame all this slow reading to Miss Peregrine.  If you’ve read my thoughts on that book, you’d know why.

Going back to the real purpose of this blog... Of the 25 books I read this year, 15 were considered for this list.  I know that’s quite a lot, but that’s good, in reality.  That means I'm now more careful on choosing which books to read.

The sad part about this—similar to my dilemma last year—is that I have too many books that I want to include in the list.  It’s with great regret that I won’t be able to put them in here even if I wanted to.

Anyway... here it goes.

*The books in here are included regardless of their genre, release date, and author—whether they be Filipino or international.  As long as its a book that I’ve read within the given year, they can be considered for the list.

(Scores are on a scale of 1-5, inspired by Goodreads’ rating format)

10.  A Hat Full of Sky by Terry Pratchett (2005)

SCORE: 4.250

This is the second book in Pratchett’s Tiffany Aching series.  I really loved the first book and I’m so thrilled that whatever it is I liked from the first one continued with this—at times, even better.  But I’m a nothing-bests-the-original type of person, so the first book scored higher for me.  You’ll see it further on this list.

9.  The Inexplicable Logic of My Life by Benjamin Allire Sáenz (2017)

SCORE: 4.275

One thing that t I really love about Sáenz‘s books is the tone of his writing.  It’s utterly simple, yet very poetically beautiful—which for me makes it very quick and easy to read.

His other book that I read, Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe, is one of my favorite books.  Having known that he recently released a new book, I din’t mind that it’s still only available on hardbound, I immediately bought it when it came out.  I had high expectations for it.

This book gave me the same feelings when I read Ari and Dante, though it wasn’t as effective.  Toned-down would be a good word for it.  There are parts where it would hit you right on the heart.  Ironically, this is what the books is all about—love.  It’s about all types of love, even if the book never had an ounce of romance in it—maybe just a little bit.

8.  The Wee Free Men by Terry Pratchett (2003)

SCORE: 4.330

The story in itself is very similar to a fairy tale and you can even identify a few references grabbed from the classics.  But unlike those old tales of fantasy, this one is void of all the atrocities and rather has common sense and unwavering cleverness—not to mention, an ample amount of humor.

One thing that I also love about the book is that all characters are very likable and have distinct personalities—even the tertiary and background characters have personalities, it’s insane!

See full review

7.  The Girl Who Drank the Moon by Kelly Barnhill (2016)

SCORE: 4.345

I always love a book with amazing characters who have deeply rooted motivations.  This is what I adored about this book.  It felt like all the characters have valid reasons why they were doing the things that they did in the story, and the way it just pushed the plot forward and how everything went to be is just enchanting.

This is a book meant for children but it can certainly be enjoyed by any person of any age—except for the toddlers who can’t read, obviously.  This book is for the people who looooove fantasy.  I got into reading because of fantasy books—hello Chronicles of Narnia—and this creation by Barnhill is a unique jewel in the midst of middle grade to young adult novels which nowadays are starting to sound too similar to one another.

6.  The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky (1999)

SCORE: 4.405

I had setbacks when I decided that I wanted to read it.  It was on the bottom of my I-plan-to-read-list primarily because I’ve already watched the film adaptation and I’m worried that I wouldn’t appreciate the book that much since I already know the story and thought that it would take away too much of the book’s charm.

BUT I WAS WRONG.

I didn’t really plan on reading it but on June 10, when I was alone in our house and wanted to do something so that I won’t get bored, I went out to find a book and eat at a local café.  Turns out, this was the cheapest book I found that actually pulled my interest.

Anyway, the book—much like the film—is very touching and fun to read.  Like, I never would’ve thought that the book was written during the 90′s because it gave me the modern YA feels, like it totally blended in with the books that I love reading.

It gave me the feels.  You know, the weird feeling in your heart when you read a book or watch a film.  It was very prevalent in this book.

5.  The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss (2007)

SCORE: 4.475

I got this book as a Christmas gift from a fellow Star Wars nerd.  She loved it that’s why she gave me a copy.  Basing from the reviews it got from Goodreads, it is an amazing book.  AND IT LIVED UP TO MY EXPECTATIONS. 

I just love how the characters are fully made up… although some feel like cardboard cutouts, I don’t mind.  I mean, they’re very minor characters.  At most, the main characters are very interesting.

It’s a good substitute to those who are reading the A Song of Ice and Fire series.  It has the same amount of epicness, same amount of characters, ample amount of secrecy and mysteries, but thankfully not as grandiose and confusing\ as GRRM’s (yeah, as much as I love the ASOIF books, sometimes it goes a little too far).

It’s a really thick book which I would normally get bored of reading in the middle, but that didn’t happen.

4.  Simon Vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli (2015)

SCORE: 4.605

It is a truly wonderful book that proudly represents the LGBTQ community.

I love how Albertalli wrote it in such a sarcastic tone, and it reminds me of the time when I have a similar tone in writing—the time before I started doing all those melodramatic stuff.

There are times in the book that I almost wanted to cry.

Also, it’s one hell of a page-turner.  I couldn’t stop reading it!  The book laid open on my desk at work and I occasionally read a few pages every now and then.  I wanted to know how it ends so badly.

I also love the way that the story is also very engaging to the readers, like the way that you want to share with Simon’s adventure and search for the mysterious identity of Blue.  I had speculations.  I said, if this would be him, the story would be stupid.  If this would be a girl, it would be disappointing (and Will Grayson-ish).  If it was this other characters, it just doesn’t make any sense.  But there’s this minor character who would probably fit.  AND I WAS DAMN RIGHT.  I predicted it but it was good, because all the other options would make a really bad story.  I predicted it but it was good, because if I was the one who wrote the story, I would’ve written it the same way.

3.  Scythe by Neal Shusterman (2016)

SCORE: 4.610

This is only my second Neal Shusterman book and I think I’m starting to become a fan.  In this novel, he created a world that is so thought-provoking, and he made it distinct among the over-crowded dystopian novels of the recent years.

I recommend this to anyone who loved reading The Hunger Games—or just to anyone who loves to read—because it gives you the same emotions.  Different story, same feeling.  It will surprise you.  It will scare you.  It will excite you.  And at a certain point, it will crush your heart.

See full review

2.  We Are the Ants by Shaun David Hutchinson (2016)

SCORE: 4.615

This book portrays the message that no person in this world has a perfect life.  We are all flawed, and we all have reasons to be unhappy.

I was heavily impressed at how Hutchinson was able to incorporate that factor in all of his characters.   That is what I like most about this book.  Anyone in the world who loves to read may be able to have a connection to it—naturally, everyone of us has imperfections and we can empathize on the characters because of that.

I love the little sci-fi things that are enclosed in-between chapters, including the main premise that Henry (the main character) is abducted by aliens.  And I love the mystery by the end as to whether or not these abductions are true or just a figment of Henry’s imagination. *Spoiler alert, if you’re wondering how this part of the story is resolved… it was never resolved*

He’s depressed and he probably has anxiety so this could possibly his mind’s manifestations to cope up with his life.  This real-unreal phenomenon kinda reminds me of A Monster Calls… you know, you’re not sure if whether or not the Monster was real or not.

This factor adds a little interaction with the readers as it forces us to use our own creativity and rely solely on our imagination on how this all adds up.  It can be true.  It cannot be true.

And also, the book has these occasional moments that will really crush your heart.  You know how much I love books that do that to me.

AND THE AWARD FOR THE BEST BOOK I READ IN 2017 GOES TO...

1.  The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini (2003)

SCORE: 4.630

I’ve seen this book on store shelves a couple of times and I always overlooked it.  Probably because the cover isn’t very much appealing to me, and I’m not a usual fan of books that center on war themes, especially those that are set in the middle east.

So when I finally paid attention to it, and saw the good reviews it had on Goodreads, I said to myself.  “I effin’ need to read this.”

Also, one of the reasons why I decided to read it is for this list.  At the time, this list was dominated by YA novels, all of which have LGBTQ themes in them.  Had We Are the Ants topped the list, for three years straight, YA-LGBTQ books bagged the top plum.  I have nothing against these type of books—I like them, obviously—but I thought that I just need some sort of variety.

Going back to this book... this has left me scarred.  There are scenes in the book that I will never, ever be able to forget.  Like there were scenes that I read while I was inside a bus on my way home, and I had to stop reading because I didn’t want people to see me crying in public.  Unfortunately, I still cried.

For me, this book tells us that life will always be full of sh*t.  You may have your good days, but it will always try to test you.  Other than that, it tells us that there are people in this world who would die for honor, and for love.

I will no longer tell anymore about this book.  I suggest that you should just read it.  I highly recommend it.  Definitely one of my favorites.

Other books considered for this list were I Wrote This for You by Iain S. Thomas, Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell, Chasers of the Light by Tyler Knott Gregson,  Kids of Apetite by David Arnold, and Everything, Everything by Nicola Yoon.  I really wish that they were in the top—especially the poetry books by Thomas and Gregson, that would’ve been a first—but I only need ten and 2017 was just crowded with good books.

I read better books this year than the past year.  You can just tell from the ratings.  The tenth place on this was already on 4.250—I had to include a third decimal to break the ties, that’s why the scores are so close.  Last year’s tenth was at 3.68, and the first book to actually go higher than 4.250 was All the Light We Cannot See with 4.32, last year’s fourth placer.  Last year’s first placer— I’ll Give You the Sun which scored 4.57—was edged out by this year’s with 4.630.

I wish I would still have the same dilemma for 2018.  I know it’s a problem, but it’s a good problem.

Happy book-reading this 2018!

[bookminimalith]

Book Rant: Unbearable Main Characters

(repost from my Wordpress)

Fictional characters, like real people, are not perfect. Characters have their own flaws and weaknesses that play a vital role in developing their character in the story. Oftentimes a character's shortcomings are more exciting to read about than their successes as they not only make the character more relatable but also give the readers something to look forward to: that is, the character overcoming their flaws and learning from their mistakes. That, I believe, is a testament to what makes a good main character - their ability to grow as a person.

A protagonist can be unlikable yet still make an excellent character so long as their flaws are, in one way or another, addressed and eventually worked on. A protagonist who is unlikable and whose flaws are largely unacknowledged or denied (particularly by the character in question) leading to no character progression, are unbearable.

Unbearable main characters can ruin a story completely.

Readers, meet fifteen-year-old Lana Spiggs of Dyan Sheldon's And Baby Makes Two. Lana is the youngest daughter of single mother Hilary Spiggs. According to Lana, she is severely oppressed by her mother's tyrannical ways. Why, her mother doesn't allow her to wear adult clothes and make-up and nags her to do household chores. Her problem basically is that everyone around her treats her like a child despite the fact that she is already fifteen years old. Clearly, she is a victim of a great injustice. The only person in the world who understands her is her adult boyfriend Les who is the epitome of maturity and sophistication. When Lana accidentally gets pregnant with Les's child, she is ecstatic. Obviously the best way to prove to everyone - especially her mother - that she is an adult is to have a child. At fifteen. Ingenious!

(prepare for spoilers at this point)

All kidding aside, Lana truly is a terrible main character. Her personality is horrendous. Her goals and dreams are almost pitifully ridiculous. Lana is even extremely delusional, so much so that it made me wonder if she was suffering from an actual medical condition. The extent of which she believes her fantasies is quite disturbing. Her baby's name, for instance. She named the baby Shinola because she believed that it's an African word for beautiful or something. There was no basis for her claim and she legitimately just came up with the name on the spot yet she insists that Shinola meant beautiful in another language. The name turned out to be a brand of shoe polish.

Her only redeeming quality, and I'm using that term quite loosely here, is that she's quite witty and her internal monologues, although dripping with malice almost all the time, are sometimes entertaining to read.

What convinced me that Lana was an awful character, however, was her little, almost minuscule, character growth. I was quite shocked because, honestly, Lana had a lot to learn and I thought her youth and her situation were the perfect avenue for such growth. Case in point, in the first chapter, Lana tells us that she absolutely hates her mother. In the last chapter, after everything she's been through, after all her mother has done for her, she still hates her mother. You'd have thought that suddenly being a mother would make Lana more sympathetic or even more appreciative of her own mother but somehow that little obvious lesson whizzed right past Lana's ear. In fact, the last chapter still showed Lana as a petulant, immature child who should not be legally allowed to take care of a baby.

Lana is, for all intents and purposes, a brat. Now, I've met brats before, the best example being Amir from The Kite Runner. Considering how Amir was not only a brat but a rich and envious brat who literally betrayed his best friend who adored him, Lana should be a relatively better character than him, right? Wrong. See, the difference with Lana and Amir was that the latter was actually quite aware of his sudden bouts of cruelty and felt guilty about it. Amir was simply a misguided child who couldn't understand complex emotions and who made a stupid decision based on his ignorance and selfishness. Additionally, Amir paid for his mistakes and went through great lengths to be forgiven.

Lana, on the other hand, had no self-awareness whatsoever. Not once in the narrative does she express guilt or shame for her actions (like yelling at her mother for no good reason and failing to take proper care of her child). Even while she suffered the repercussions of her decision to keep the child, she still only had shallow thoughts and zero awareness. She vehemently refuses to listen to reason despite just how much her stupidity has made her suffer. In fact, she stubbornly maintained - to a group of experienced mothers, no less - that you could get what you want if you don't give up. A pretty solid message if only Lana had half a mind to understand that there's a difference between optimism and idealism (not to mention Lana seemed to be unable to tell fantasy from reality).

It was like Lana was in an inexplicable vacuum of immaturity and hate and no matter what anyone said, no matter what happened to her, logic just couldn't get through to her. Lana showed no depth of character at all. At the beginning, there was a brief mention that Lana's mother might have suggested (to someone else) that she didn't plan to have Lana (which could have been the reason for Lana's never ending vitriol against her mother?) but that was never expounded or even mentioned ever again. Somehow, that possible subplot was just thrown right out seconds after it was introduced. It's unnerving just how shallow Lana's character is and how easily that could have been remedied if the writer would have just expounded on them more rather than written about Lana's fantasies and criticisms ad nauseum.

I honestly couldn't root for Lana or even sympathize with her because she was just too unbearable to really care about. Towards the very end, she realizes (finally) that Les has been lying to her all along and that he isn't the perfect guy she had thought him to be but by then everything was too late. There was no point, really, because Les's true character was just too obvious. Besides that, Les was never really around much to make that much of an impact in the story.

At the final scene, Lana also realized the truth, that being an adult wasn't going to be a fairy-tale-come-true. You'd think her finally learning that would be the pay off that we, the readers, needed but honestly it came too late. It was also written too rushed, like the book knew that it only had three pages left to resolve everything, making Lana's spiel about 'never going back to the way things were (before the baby)' pretty uninspired. It came across as a petulant child just wallowing in her own misery. If she had learned the cold hard truth of being an adult a few chapters earlier, the book wouldn't have been so bad. Perhaps Lana would even show some character development instead of more whining and complaining.

(Also can I just say how terrible the ending was? Lana actually attempted to suffocate her own baby so she could return to her old life. If that attempted infanticide isn't testament enough of how terrible of a character Lana is, then I don't know what is. Sure, she stopped herself before the baby died but judging from Lana's descriptions of Shinola ('...purple and gasping.'), she came way too close to succeeding. And that's literally how the book ends, with Lana deciding not to kill her baby. Then, at least. Because the book ended so abruptly, I doubt Lana wouldn't attempt it again. There wasn't really anything in the book that could convince me that Lana wouldn't resort to such measures, especially considering how easy it is for her to get caught up in her fantasies.)

It's almost uncanny how one-dimensional Lana was, especially for someone who went through as many hardships as she did. A main character with a terrible personality and immature ideals is fine if their character is well written and explained properly. Lana was just shallow. Her rationalizations were weak and unconvincing. You never really understand why she was the way she was, making it impossible (at least for me) to sympathize with her even a little.

Teenage pregnancy is a real problem nowadays and I'm sure this book had good intentions. If it did anything, at least And Baby Makes Two portrayed the trials and tribulations of a teenage mother pretty realistically. It was Lana's lack of development that ruined it. It was like she couldn't understand the overlying lesson of her own story, which made her out to be astoundingly dull. Dull and unbearable.