#LADY. IF YOU WANT US TO PLAY FOR YOUR DUMB CONCERT. GIVE US THE MUSIC

[supercantaloupe]

this fucking woman has been sending us multiple emails every day with conflicting information about what she wants us to play and when she wants us to rehearse for this stupid xmas concert and i'm about to just fucking quit and tell her to find another oboist at this point

[collecting-stories]

Book Club - 90s!Luke Patterson

Summary: Reggie books a gig at a suburban mom’s book club and Luke takes full advantage of the situation to flirt with you. 

A/N: I’m literally writing two other Luke fics right now 😭😭

Julie and the Phantoms Masterlist

✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰

The third Thursday of every month belonged to your mother. It was her day, when she demanded not to be bothered, when she spent hours out of the house socializing with the women’s group that she belonged to. And, out of all those Thursdays, there were always the very special few when it wasn’t her leaving the house but everyone else. The group rotated their meeting time, everyone for a blue moon meeting at your house, meaning, of course that you were expected to stay out. Staying out was not a difficult thing to do, in fact you relished the opportunity to spend a few more hours with your friends. 

It was one of those Thursdays, when all the ladies that your mother loved to lunch with were spending the afternoon at your house and you were making yourself scarce, that arguably the weirdest but maybe best thing happened. Your mom had told you before you left for school that morning that she expected you to stay out, and you would have, if you had remembered your wallet. But you’d left it in your room, on the edge of the vanity, and you didn’t want to be the one owing money when your friends went to lunch. A quick stop home should’ve been easy, the stairs were right off the kitchen and the side door was right there, giving you the opportunity to shoot upstairs and grab your wallet without her being the wiser to it. 

The whole thing would’ve gone off without a hitch except that when you walked through the side door and into the kitchen you came face to face with four boys from your school. You recognized them more for the fact that you didn’t hang out in the same circle; most of your friends held a certain level of contempt for the four guys that made up Sunset Curve. You didn’t necessarily dislike any of them, you didn’t necessarily even know them, though you would be lying if you said that the lead singer, who occasionally sat in front of you in math, was seriously making you rethink a deep dive into all this rock music. Luke, Reggie, Alex, and Bobby were standing in your kitchen. They were the Green Day/Nirvana worshipping, head banging rockers that ditched school regularly and got into worlds of trouble and they were standing in your kitchen.  

Bobby was the only one who looked up from snacking on leftover hors d’oeurves, saying your name in surprise as the other three all stopped to look at you too. Alex gave an awkward little wave as he set down the small sandwich he was eating.  

“Uh...what are you guys doing in my house,” you asked, looking between the four of them.  

“Your mom tapped us to perform for her ladies club.” Luke explained, dropping his food on the plate and wiping his hands against his black pants.  

Your mom had invited these four to sing for her conservative ladies’ group? You tried not to but you couldn’t help the smile that crossed your face when you thought about it. Whatever your friends said about the guys, you weren’t ashamed to say you had taken one of the free demos that Reggie handed out and had been listening to it on repeat for a while now. “My mom wanted you guys to play a gig for her and her friends?” You clarified.

“Until we started playing,” Reggie replied, and you couldn’t help laughing.

“I bet...you guys aren’t exactly...suburban mom rock.” You joked, “though I totally would’ve loved to see their faces when you guys started singing.”  

The grin on Luke’s face was unmistakable though you missed it as you nabbed one of the sandwiches on the plate near Alex. It was probably some really stupid cliche, him liking one of the popular girls. Cute, cheerleader, future prom queen. You hung out with people who listened to Britney Spears and Spice Girls, any knowledge of the rock scene they might’ve actually had was only for the sake of making dumb jabs at him or his friends. Still, Luke had a massive crush on you and he wasn’t so embarrassed to admit it. Bobby joked that he wanted to “bring you over to the dark side” and maybe that sounded cynical but he thought he wouldn’t mind seeing you look a little less perfectly put together if it had something to do with him. Hearing you mention his music almost had him doing a back flip from excitement.  

“So you’ve listened to our music?” Luke asked, moving closer to you, leaning on the counter beside you. Behind him, Alex rolled his eyes.

“Reggie gave out demos like...last month.” You shrugged, trying to play it off. You’d been excited to listen to their music, see if it was any good and had discovered that you actually loved it. They were talented guys and you felt surprisingly connected to the songs. “I might’ve listened.”

“I did!” Reggie piped up, “I gave demos to all the-” he stopped, mouthing instead, as if you wouldn’t understand him when he said ‘all the cute girls’.  

“I hate to ask but...don’t you think like, actual clubs would be better places to promote your music? I don’t think the middle-aged moms are really a target audience, unless you’re into that kind of thing?” You said, peering down the hallway when you heard the familiar squeak of a floorboard. If the boys were still here than there was no doubt in your mind that your mom had told them to stay for some reason or another.  

“You gotta start somewhere.” Luke replied, unfazed by the hint of judgement in your voice.  

“My living room?” You asked, jokingly.  

He smiled, “actually, we’re playing a club on the strip tomorrow night, we could, maybe, get you on the guest list?”  

“We’re opening for someone else,” Bobby cut in, bringing Luke back down to reality, “I’m pretty sure no one’s ever even heard of the band we’re opening for.”  

Luke glared at Bobby, sticking his finger in his mouth and then jabbing it into Bobby’s ear, a smile of success immediately lighting up his features when Bobby recoiled in disgust. “So what’d ya say?” Luke asked.  

“I mean, I guess technically every band deserves girls screaming for them, so sure…I’ll go.” You agreed, eyes on Luke the entire time.  

The last concert you had been to wasn’t even for you, your mom had dragged you to a Beach Boys concert up in San Francisco for her birthday weekend when your father refused to indulge her so-called ‘terrible taste in music’. “There are just some things we will never agree on and music is one of them.” He had insisted back then. It was the same thing you felt like telling your friends when you declined a party invitation in favor of heading down to the strip to see the guys play. You could’ve maybe played it off casually, as if you were heading down there anyway and Sunset Curve just happened to be opening but Bobby was right, you’d never heard of the band that was performing after them.  

Not to mention Luke decided to show up for a least a quarter of the day just to mess with your head. You had spotted him in the hallway between classes and smiled when he looked your way, a split second before the sea of students scrambled to get to their lockers. Your own best friends appeared by yours, looking more and more like carbon copies of the Heathers every day. You kind of hated them, truth be told, but you didn’t have too many other options.  

They were badgering you about the party as you tried to wrack your brain for an excuse that sounded convincing when Luke stopped, right in front of the three of you.  

“Hey, I’ll see ya tonight?” He asked, whole body turned to face you and completely ignoring the looks of disdain and shock cloaking your friends faces.  

You felt like a deer in headlights. Say yes and your friends would probably ostracise you, say no and you could just imagine the look on Luke’s face. Anything but this absolutely sincere and hopeful smile was something you didn’t want to be responsible for. You really liked him looking at you like that.  

“Yeah, can’t wait.” You nodded.  

When he stepped back out into the traffic of the hallway he touched your waist, as if he was anchoring himself for a second and you bit your lip, letting yourself watch him disappear before turning to face the firing squad.  

“Luke Patterson?” Both of your friends spoke in unison, one breaking off to elaborate, “you’re ditching a party at Max Turner’s house for Luke Patterson?”  

“His band is playing at some club on the strip.” You replied, shutting your locker and heading toward your next class. “They invited me to come watch the show.”

“And you’re going?”  

You hadn’t been to anything smaller than a stadium concert before and the implication of a concert at a local club venue, right on the strip with all the ‘riffraff’ that were hanging around trying to make it big like their 80’s punk rock idols wasn’t exactly your scene but, Luke had looked so cute asking you to go and you had the tiniest, maybe delusional, feeling that he’d come to school just to remind you that tonight was the concert. How could could even consider some suburban house party to that?  

“Yeah, why not,” you shrugged, trying to play it off like it was nothing, you could see your social status flashing before your eyes and your mom’s voice desperately begging you to reconsider. “Besides, Luke’s hot.”

“Did you have some kind of Freaky Friday switch when you woke up this morning? Luke is not hot.”  

“Okay,” you drew the word as if disbelieving. He wasn’t some 90210 reincarnate but he was definitely one of the hottest guys in school, not to mention the sleeveless shirts were an added bonus. “Well, I said I was going, so I’m going.”

And, despite the continued protests of your friends throughout the day, you did go. You promised your parents you were spending Friday night studying at Terri’s house and took the bus down to the strip to wait in line for Sunset Curve and whoever was headlining. You stood there twirling your fake ID in your hands, listening to the two girls in front of you (who didn’t need fakes) talk about some drummer that wasn’t anyone you’d ever heard of and tried to look as mature as possible. If Luke, Alex, Reggie, and Bobby could play this venue, surely you could get into it.  

Whether the ID worked or the bouncer at the front door just didn’t care, he let you through, admitting you into a pulsing crowd of people making their way through the small vestibule and into the venue. You slipped your way through the crowd until you made it to the front, pressed against the railing and inches away from another bouncer who seemed just as disinterested in you. The drumkit that was already on the stage had the Sunset Curve logo on it. You ran a hand through your hair and fixed your shirt, maybe it was silly but you were sort of hoping that even in the silhouetted lighting of the venue you Luke might see you. Maybe a little pathetic groupie on your end but he had invited you.  

And he did see you. Halfway through Now or Never when he looked down over the crowd, he caught you, dancing along to their music, the smile on your face as you mouthed the words was infectious. It was the combination of seeing someone singing all the songs back to them and that person being you, mixed with the adrenaline of the performance, that had him pushing to give his absolute all. You’d actually come and he was determined to make this a great concert for you.  

Alex was the one to announce that they would be in the vestibule during the lull between bands, they got the occasional straggler who dared to leave their post long enough to say hello or great job but usually it garnered nothing more than the four of them splitting some pizza and relaxing by their merch table. Tonight, as they headed off stage to an enthusiastic crowd, Luke chanced a glance back but he couldn’t find you in the sea of people. Reggie grabbed his arm, pulling him the rest of the way off the stage and throwing an arm around his shoulder, going on about how awesome the show was, Luke quickly returning the jovial compliment.

“We were fire, man, that sounded so rad tonight!” He cheered, following Alex and Bobby as they made their way through the small hall that wove back into the vestibule.  

“It was insane!” Reggie agreed.  

You had made your way back through the venue after Luke mentioned being at the merch table, slipping back passed the bouncer at the inside door, flashing your stamped hand. Their table was set up in the corner, a little way away from the headlining band’s. You stepped into the vestibule at the same time as the boys, waving at Alex when he looked your way. He nodded, reaching over to tap Luke’s chest with the back of his hand.  

“That was incredible.” You admitted, walking over to their table. Luke’s smile instantly widened as he walked around to your side, not even thinking as he hugged you, your shoulders hunching at the feeling of sweat that encompassed you. “Ew.”

“Sorry, sorry.” Luke apologized, pulling away and putting his hands on your upper arms for a second before dropping them to his sides. “Still going off the adrenaline.”

“That’s okay,” you promised, “you’re cute enough to get away with it.”

“Yeah?” He leaned against the table, trying to look cool. He felt like he was grasping for words and he didn’t want to start stuttering or sounding dumb, Bobby would never let him live it down if he made a fuck up of himself. The other three tried not to laugh and ruin his moment.  

You seemed to recover from the moment first, glancing at the other three before landing on Luke again. “You guys are totally a live band though...like that was so good.”  

Reggie came in with a save, letting Luke off the hook for a moment, “Are you heading back in to see the headliner?”  

You grimaced, “don’t really know them...not really interested.” You replied, keeping your eyes on Luke, hoping that was hint enough that you’d come just to see him.  

It clearly was because, as a few girls stepped into the vestibule and looked like they were coming your way, Luke grabbed your arm, nodding toward the doorway for you to follow him. You did, walking with him into the hallway so that it was quieter, the sounds of the house music and the chatter of people outside being drowned out in the small corridor.  

“So, uh, sorry I’m still wigging out that you came.” He admitted.  

“I said I was going to, twice. Did you seriously think I was lying?” You asked.  

“I mean, I heard your friends giving you a hard time when I walked away, figured you might back out.”  

“Well, I’m glad I didn’t, seriously Luke, you guys are amazing. You’re so talented.” You replied.  

“Guess I was right when I told Reggie to take that book club gig huh?” He said, fiddling with the rabbit’s foot on his keychain.  

“Why’s that?”  

“I thought maybe if I was lucky, I’d catch a glimpse of you...having you come here and watch us though? Better than I could’ve imagined.” He replied, grinning at you.  

“You wanted to see me?”

“Yeah, don’t act so surprised.” He said, “you gotta know how insanely cool you are. And you look beautiful tonight, by the way.”  

“Thanks,” you bit your bottom lip to try and keep your composure, “I uh...damn, you’re making me super nervous.”  

“Yeah?” He stepped a little closer to you, his hands brushing against yours as if he was going to hold them. You couldn’t help wishing he would.  

“I should probably let you get back to your fans,” you pointed out, glancing back out the door to where a few more people had gathered. If you stayed in this hallway with him any longer there was no way you were letting him back out.  

“Hang out? We could grab some pizza or something after?” He asked.  

“Yeah, absolutely.”  

When he walked back through the door you followed behind him, hanging back so you weren’t hovering around them as they chatted with and signed stuff for the group of people that had ventured out between sets. It didn’t matter though, as he talked, he kept looking back at you smiling as if you were both in on some sort of secret.  

[joshstambourine]

GVF as Your Best Friend

"Hii can I request gvf as besties and dumb things that they would do with the reader, also can the pronouns for the reader be neutral 🥺" - @guitarfingers

Thank you so much for sending this in!! I really wanted to do it quick cause I just loved the idea so much!

Please please please, if anyone wants me to write something with neutral pronouns, please let me know (same with male pronouns). Sometimes I get on autopilot when I'm writing and start using female pronouns without thinking.

These fics are mostly written whenever I get five minutes to myself, so sometimes I get distracted as well but that doesn't make it right.

Warning: Cursing

Taglist: @anditsmywholeheart @babydxll

Josh

Oh what a loud friend. What a noisy naughty friend. What a rotten rotten boy.

Lmao just kidding.

Though Josh is probably a lot of those things when it comes to being your friend. He already seems like a little gremlin who is surprisingly wise in general but as someone's best friend?? Oh man you're in for a time.

Your camera roll is just dumb pictures of you and Josh. Almost exclusively. Probably some you don't remember taking as well---

10/10 the "I double dare you to do the thing" type of friend.

"I didn't think you'd actually do it---"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN?! YOU DOUBLE DARED ME---"

"You're a terrible person (Y/N) how do you live with yourself?" //Gobblin snickering//

Has even less of a filter when he's with you, "oh fuck, you look like something the cat dragged in and then ate again and then--"

"What the--- Josh???"

Josh also has a foul mouth from what I gather so if you're going to be friends with him be ready for a lot of cursing.

Take it as a compliment! It means he's comfortable with you!

"Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?"

"Yes and your mom as well."

Despite all that. Josh I can imagine being a very protective friend.

Think the kind of person who gets mad when a person insults you and says, "Whoa, what the fuck, only I can say mean shit like that to them." 

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine Josh..."

"Honest?"

"Honest."

Puts an arm around you, "Good.... it would have sucked to tell you they were right if you were upset."

Probably just //Demonic screeching// most of the time the two of you are together.

Other times a lot of philosophizing and asking important questions. Or questions he feels crucial to ask.

Probably because he's baked but---

"(Y/N)?"

"Yes Josh?"

"Why don't we call big Ants… Gi-ants?"

"I'm not talking to you anymore."

Josh also would be very keen to take an interest in things his bestie is interested in. Especially important things.

As an example: If they are religious he'd want to make sure he understands their beliefs. He wants them to know he respects these things.

Over all, he's a chaotic force to be reckoned with... but one that is going to carry you along with him. You're never going to have a dull moment and you're never going to feel alone.

And most importantly you'll know you're loved at all times.

Jake

Jake always strikes me as so relaxed, someone who likes to keep to himself.

Despite that I do also see he and Josh are twins and have some things in common.

He probably is just as much of a gremlin, though less loud and obnoxious about it.

"I just want to make sure... you picked out that outfit right? Not your mom?"

"Yes...?"

"Okay good, I don't want to offend your mom."

More than anything I picture him and you sitting quietly together just doing separate things in a comfortable silence half the time.

I mean that might seem lame but those are my personal favorite kind of friendships.

The ones where you can look up from whatever you were doing and just make a face at them...

... and since he's that kind of friend he'd raise his brows first, but then immediately make a corresponding face silently.

I feel like deep conversations are the thing the two of you would be best at. No shooting the shit. Always straight to the important stuff.

Drinking whiskey by a warm fire vibes.

If you have any interest in music, even slightly, Jake would be all over that. He'd want to expand that interest to make it a love.

"I'll teach you!"

"You're too busy you don't have time..."

"No way! You're my best friend, I'm not letting some random person teach you how to play guitar. Be serious (Y/N)."

I can picture Jake laying beside his friend on the floor just smoking and listening to his favorite records.

Also a really warm and sentimental friend I think. Now this might just be a me thing but it's something I could see him doing, not often just for really important things. Maybe saving little things?

Like a ticket from a concert he went to with his best friend. Or a receipt from a really nice hang out.

Probably a Polaroid boy because of that.

That might just be me. I really feel like he likes to have things to look back on.

"Oh wow you still have that??" You ask pointing to a concert ticket from years ago tucked into the side of his mirror.

"Of course I do! I loved being there with you!"

Jake treasures his time with his friends, and its important to keep his best friend safe always.

Sam

ANOTHER FORCE OF CHAOS.

But. Sam definitely seems like one who actively tries to be a chaotic force, whereas Josh has it come naturally.

So I imagine a lot of making super dumb videos together.

"Hang on before we start!! (Y/N) can you do up my braids??"

"Fuck yeah i can."

I would want to see cooking videos made by the both of you. They'd be hysterical I know it. Get on it please.

Lots of spontaneous dancing together.

"What are you guys even doing...?"

(Horrendous dance moves that are not in-synch intensifies)

Probably a lot of shopping trips together, not necessarily to shop. Just to be out together.

Probably also would fight over who pays for lunch because neither of you can just pay separately.

Is it bad that I sorta imagine him being a bit of a wine aunt friend??

Like--- you both are just at a table drinking a glass of wine and just complaining about everyone and gossiping non-stop.

I do think he'd want to have a movie night with his best friend. They take turns picking, but hardly ever watch the movie... too busy making comments over the movie and pointing out flaws in it.

"WHY ARE YOU STILL STANDING THERE!! GET IN THE HOUSE--- ladies in horror movies man---"

"You'd be the first one to die in a horror movie... im almost positive."

".....thanks for that (Y/N)."

All that said Sam strikes me as one of those people who take note of little things about people.

So you would always get super personal gifts from Sam. Something that is irreplaceable.

It also means that by the expression on your face at any given time he knows how you're feeling.

"...oh? (Y/N) are you okay...?"

"Huh??"

"You look upset, did something happen?"

"Ah... just an upsetting text that's all."

"You wanna vent, I'll get the wine?"

A friendship with Sam means excitement of course but also a strong personal connection you probably won't be able to replace in your entire life.

Danny

I think he's the kind of best friend that wants to chat with your parents.

You know that friend. We can all picture that friend we have. The one who your parents adore and make you pretty sure they wish this friend was actually their child instead of you?

Danny is that friend.

All the boys seem to really enjoy the outdoors but I do think Danny strikes me as one of the boys who seems to enjoy it the most.

I can picture him wanting to be outside with his best friend.

Hikes. A day trip to the beach. Golf.

"Cmon (Y/N)! Can't have ya falling behind!" He'd yell when too much space builds between the two of you on a hiking trail.

I'm sure all the boys would do this but, I do think Danny would be the type of friend to go out of his way to make your life easier.

Even if this means doing something drastic.

"Your parents won't be able to make it out for the holidays...? Let's drive out there together."

"What?? We cant---"

"I've already got it planned don't worry about it."

There's also always the added benefit of getting to take out your emotions on his drum kit whenever you need to as well... this is an open ended invitation.

Danny unfortunately seems like the kind of person that listens most of the time and probably doesn't get to be the one to complain himself.

So you would have to keep an eye on him and prod a lot to get him to open up.

Even then I think you'd have to get him drinking before he'd actively talk about his problems.

It's not that he doesn't trust you. He just doesn't want to burden you, especially if you have a lot happening.

The kind of friend that wants to bond with your pets (they probably listen to him better than they ever did for you).

Let's be honest he'd bring your pets gifts so much.

"Another bandana?? Danny where are you getting these---"

"It has to match the collar I got him."

"Jeez get your own pet man."

All in all. Danny is a gentle soul, so keep that in mind as his best friend. He will give his all, probably 150%... make sure you keep up your end.

Otherwise he will burn himself out.

All in all:

Look it's pretty easy just to assume that all the guys would be good friends.

They all are sweet guys.

They all seem like people who enjoy learning about new things and people's interests.

As a group---

There would be so much fun and merriment as you all explore nature.

Bonfires and music baby.

Camping invitations of course.

Probably lots of drinking games (if you drink).

"Haha--- (Y/N) has to drink kings Cup!"

"Fuck my life..."

"Sucks to suck buddy!"

Lots of music being played.

Long drives with the windows down.

Stupid jokes.

Dumb faces.

A good group of guys that will honestly accept you as you are.

And that will also make fun of you mercilessly.

All out of love of course~

//Hopefully you liked it! For those who noticed, yes I did post this early by accident, I went to save this and like... hit the save button. And then I opened up my feed and there it was so!!! I don't know what happened.//

[mikauzoran]

Lukadrien: Your Hands Hold Home: Chapter Seventeen

@lukadrien-june

Read it on AO3: Your Hands Hold Home: Chapter Seventeen: Broken Families

“Sup, G Flat,” Xavier-Yves greeted as he descended the stairs into the main cabin of the Liberty.

Adrien grimaced but mentally reminded himself to be nice for Luka’s sake.

“Hi, XY. Luka’s actually not here right now. He’s out with the Capitaine, and I don’t think they’ll be back soon,” he informed, hoping that that would be the end of his exposure to the popstar for the day.

XY shrugged, taking a seat on the opposite limb of the L-shaped couch from Adrien.

“That’s okay,” XY assured as he made himself comfortable, spreading out like a starfish and pulling his laptop out of his bag. “You probably don’t know this because you’re still pretty new here, but I have the okay to just kick it here whenever I want.”

Adrien nodded, internally cursing his lot in life. “I see. That’s cool.”

“Yeppers,” Xavier-Yves agreed, barely paying Adrien any mind as he started up his audio editing program.

Adrien set aside the book he’d borrowed from Luka, seeing that he wasn’t going to get any more reading done in XY’s presence.

“How long do you think you’ll hang out?” Adrien inquired, trying to sound interested rather than rude and impatient for Xavier-Yves to leave.

XY shrugged. “I dunno. Maybe a couple hours? Probably until this evening.”

Adrien mentally swore.

“I’m hiding from my dad,” XY added voluntarily.

Adrien frowned. “Why?”

XY clicked his tongue. “He’s trying to set me up with some actress. You know. For publicity and all that.”

Adrien shuddered. “My father made me do that a couple times. I’ve always hated that kind of thing.”

“Dude, I know!” XY exclaimed, looking up from his computer screen. “Sucks, right?!”

Adrien nodded. “I mean, some of the girls were okay, and I may have even been able to like one or two of them in earnest if we’d met more naturally and it had been our decision to date, but…those arrangements are so staged. I always resented them as just one more thing Father was making me do against my will and completely ignoring my wishes about.”

“Tch. Yeah,” Xavier-Yves scoffed. “Trust me. I hear you.”

Just as suddenly as the conversation started, it ended, and XY seemed to go back to his laptop.

Adrien gave his book a sidelong look, debating whether to take it up to the deck to continue reading in peace.

Before he could come to a decision, XY broke back into Adrien’s thoughts.

“…So…you’re bi or what?”

Adrien gave a start. “What?”

“You said you could have liked some of the girls your dad made you date,” XY explained, “but I always thought you had a thing for Luka…so are you bi or in denial or what?”

Adrien stared at his love rival for a moment, trying to determine whether he should be affronted by XY’s abrupt demands for personal information.

Xavier-Yves looked at Adrien expectantly with seemingly no malice or agenda hidden behind his words.

It was then that Adrien remembered what Luka had told him about XY’s penchant for coming across as rude due to his lack of normal socialization—something Adrien could, unfortunately, relate to.

Adrien decided to take XY’s question in good faith and answered, “I think I’m probably bi.”

XY cocked an eyebrow. “What do you mean you think you’re bi? Isn’t that something you just know?”

Adrien shifted uncomfortably under Xavier-Yves’s scrutiny. “I think it’s confusing because the media really only shows men and women ending up with one another, so that’s how I thought it had to be when I was growing up. I didn’t realize guys were actually an option until later, and I’ve mostly just been interested in girls so far. I mean, I can tell if a guy is attractive, but Luka’s the only guy I’ve ever been attracted to in practice, not just in theory.”

XY blinked several times, trying to parse Adrien’s response. “…So…you’re bi?”

“At least as far as Luka’s concerned,” Adrien confirmed with a shrug.

“You make my head hurt,” XY announced. “You’re just thinking about it too much.”

“Maybe,” Adrien chuckled, musing that XY might have accidentally stumbled upon the truth.

Xavier-Yves shook his head. “I’ve always known I was gay. I never even looked at girls as a kid.”

Adrien’s eyes widened. “I-I’m sorry. I always assumed you were bi. Well…after I found out about your feelings for Luka, anyway. Until then, I thought you were straight.”

XY rolled his eyes and waved dismissively. “That’s because my dad says I have to stay in the closet.”

Adrien’s jaw descended several centimeters. “He what?”

XY nodded, setting his laptop aside and angling more towards Adrien. “My dad says that gay doesn’t sell and that all of my fangirls will stop buying my music and coming to concerts if they find out I only like dudes, so I can’t tell anyone I’m gay.”

Adrien blinked dumbly, finding himself wondering if his own father would react similarly if he found out about Adrien being queer. A lot of people in fashion were, so maybe it wouldn’t be a big deal, but…somehow, Adrien got the feeling that Gabriel would probably prefer it if Adrien kept that fact to himself and found a nice female partner.

“…I’m sorry,” Adrien mumbled, suddenly seeing past the annoying, inconvenient aspects of XY to the very real person with problems and feelings and dreams underneath.

XY shrugged. “Is what it is. Just don’t you go tellin’ people.”

“I would never do that,” Adrien was quick to assure.

XY gave a snort as he nodded. “Good.”

“…So…you’re not allowed to date?” Adrien inquired, morbid curiosity getting the best of him.

XY shook his head. “Nah. Dad would flip. It’s okay, though. I’ve never been really into anyone before, so it was, like, whatever.”

Adrien’s eyebrow arched. “What about Luka? You seem pretty into him.”

“Luka’s different,” Xavier-Yves confirmed with a passionate punch to the words. “He’s the one, you know?”

Adrien dropped his gaze, wilting slightly because he knew that fact all too well.

“I’d come out, if he wanted me to,” XY continued. “I don’t know. Luka’s kind of quiet and private, so I don’t know if he’d want to make it all public, but he’d at least want to tell his friends who he was seeing, so it would get out there eventually. I wouldn’t care, though. He’s worth it.”

“You really care about him a lot,” Adrien whispered.

“You bet I do,” XY insisted. “You know how annoying and dumb I am.”

Adrien’s head jerked up at the blatant self-deprecation.

“Not a lot of people like me. A lot of people pretend to because they want something, but they don’t actually like me,” XY snorted.

Adrien suddenly felt a chill at hearing circumstances that so closely echoed his own.

“Luka didn’t like me at first, and he had a good excuse not to, but instead of telling me to get lost when I came to ask him to teach me about loving music, he put up with me,” XY recounted with a soft look of gratitude and affection in his placid blue eyes.

“He was really patient, and he taught me and helped me be a better person. My dad taught me a lot of bad things.” His eyes dropped to the floor as he confessed his past shortcomings. “I didn’t know they were bad until Luka told me so…so I owe him a lot. I’d do anything for him.”

Adrien nodded passively, averting his gaze as he wondered if Luka wouldn’t be better off with XY than himself.

Xavier-Yves could give Luka fortune and industry contacts, and while “Roth” wasn’t the most well-liked surname in Paris, it was worlds ahead of “Agreste” which had become synonymous with “dirt” a month previously when Papillon’s identity had been revealed.

Maybe Adrien should step aside romantically and focus on being a good, supportive friend to Luka.

“I’d do anything for him,” Xavier-Yves repeated solemnly, “…even if that meant bowing out and supporting his happiness with you.”

Adrien’s head jerked up again, and he gaped at XY in disbelief. “What?”

XY shrugged. “The most important thing is that Luka is happy, yeah?”

Adrien nodded, still not understanding. “Yes. Absolutely. But…what does that have to do with me?”

XY shook his head. “You’re important to him. We’re both really important to him. I can’t tell you how many times he’s asked me to try to play nice with you these past few weeks because he wants us both in his life, and he wants us all to get along.”

Adrien’s lips rounded into a small “o”.

XY nodded. “I want him to be happy. Even if you win, I want him to be happy, so I’m gonna try to be friends with you because it’s important to Luka.”

Adrien slowly began to nod. “Okay. I can’t promise I’ll ever really like you much, but I’m going to tolerate you for Luka’s sake. So, let’s make this work, okay?”

“Deal,” XY agreed with a wide grin, holding out his fist to Adrien for a fist bump.

Chuckling, Adrien leaned forward and touched his fist to XY’s.

“…So,” Xavier-Yves remarked after the moment had passed. “Wanna watch a movie or something?”

Adrien shrugged. “Sure. Why not?”

“How good’s your English?” XY asked, grabbing his laptop and opening up his video library.

“Not fluent, but I should be able to watch a movie without subtitles,” Adrien replied, moving to sit next to Xavier-Yves.

XY looked up at Adrien and tipped his head to the side. “You ever heard of Abbott and Costello?”

Adrien frowned, searching his memory banks. “…The comedy duo?”

XY nodded enthusiastically, a wide grin quickly spreading from one cheek to the other. “They’re super dope. You’ll love them. Let’s watch In Society. It’s got one of my favourite routines.”

“All right,” Adrien easily agreed, reasoning that he owed it to Luka and himself to make an effort. “Sounds good.”

 A little over an hour later, Luka returned to find Adrien and Xavier-Yves in a pile on the couch, leaning on one another to keep themselves upright as they chortled, “He’s not dead, Lady! He’s hiding!”

“I see you showed him Abbott and Costello?” Luka remarked, announcing his presence.

XY pushed himself up to grin adoringly at Luka. “Yeah. We were just thinking about watching another. Wanna join us?”

“Sure,” Luka chuckled, coming around to their side of the couch.

Adrien scooted over to make room for Luka between himself and XY.

“After all, it’s not every day that two of my best friends are able to spend time together without wanting to kill one another. We should do something to celebrate,” Luka reasoned.

“We’re not that bad. We just…verbally snipe at each other sometimes,” Adrien giggled, quickly snuggling up to Luka at exactly the same moment XY wrapped his arm around Luka’s shoulders.

“Yeah,” XY seconded. “The only friend of yours I want to kill is that Jacob loser.”

Luka groaned, rolling his eyes.

Adrien lifted his head to look around Luka at Xavier-Yves. “Jacob?”

XY nodded. “That bassist in his band. He’s Luka’s ex.”

Adrien quirked an eyebrow. “We can’t be civil with Luka’s exes?”

XY’s eyes narrowed. “Jacob’s one of the four he slept with.”

“Oh,” Adrien replied flatly, his opinion abruptly changing.

“Yeah. Those ones are dead to me,” Xavier-Yves snorted.

“Can we not talk about my love life?” Luka sighed, tipping his head back to stare up at the ceiling. “It’s really not that interesting. Let’s watch the movie.”

XY clicked his tongue. “I beg to be different. I am super interested in the people you’ve slept with.”

“Prune,” Luka groaned. “Drop it. I’ve been the adult in this household since I was ten. I’m allowed to sleep with whomever my little demi heart loves.”

“Would you sleep with me?” XY wondered curiously.

Luka’s cheeks flushed as he pointedly avoided Xavier-Yves’s gaze. “No comment.”

“Would you sleep with him?” XY pressed, jabbing a finger at Adrien.

Luka choked on air, making a wheezing sound of distress.

“No comment,” he managed with some effort.

“How about a threesome?” Xavier-Yves suggested amicably.

Adrien burst out laughing, snuggling in closer.

“For the love of whatever you hold sacred, start the movie already before I strangle you,” Luka pleaded.

“I could be into that,” XY replied, waggling his eyebrows.

Luka threw his hands up in the air, exclaiming, “Aaaaah!”

This caused Adrien to laugh even harder.

XY joined in.

[katieykat513]

That’s The Way It Is

I made this for the wonderful, hard working @ao3bronte

This was only supposed to be a drabble; the work count determined that that was a lie.... 

Here’s the Ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24188539

____________

Ladybug didn't think too hard about the night she showed up to patrol, Chat Noir dancing and singing to Celine Dion. She landed on the roof as her partner danced back and forth, serenading the night in beautiful English, Where Does My Heart Beat Now.

“Where does my heart beat now?/ I can't live without/ Without feeling it inside/ Where do all the lonely hearts go?”

One thing was for certain, his voice was beautiful. “Putting on a concert for me, Chaton?”

He nearly fell off the roof in surprise. “My Lady!” He squeaked, switching back to French, his face burning red. “How long have you been standing there?!” 

She smiled, amused at his high pitched voice. “Oh, long enough to see how well you can move your hips, Kitty Cat.” She winked at him, his face turned redder than it was before. 

“Uhh, can we just forget you saw that?” An uneasy grin settled onto his face. 

“Well, it’s nothing to be ashamed of, Celine Dion is a wonderful singer.” She crossed her arms and gave him a sideways glance as he rubbed the back of his neck in his familiar, nervous habit.

“Yeah, well, just don’t tell the Ladyblogger, ok? Can’t have it out that this suave cat is a big ole wuss puss.” He flexed his biceps to exaggerate his point.

“Wuss puss, huh? I think you do that perfectly fine without that particular knowledge getting out.” She giggled as his face and arms fell.

He reared back up, placed one hand over his heart and the other over his eyes, “My Lady, you wound me so!”

After her giggling died down, they started patrol, Chat’s singing nearly forgotten. It wasn’t her fault that she turned on a Celine Dion album when she returned home that night.

____________________________________________

It wasn’t until a few days later, when Chat had solo patrol, that Marinette was once again reminded that her partner was a die hard Celine fan.

Marinette lounged on her balcony, her sketchbook lay on her lap, as she looked out over the Seine. It was a lovely night to sit outside and sketch the outfit that she had been thinking about all week. Maybe this outfit would get Adrien to become a stuttering mess for once; probably not though. 

She opened her sketchbook and started to sketch a few basic lines when she heard it. A beautiful voice, singing in English.

“Love can touch us one time/ And last for a lifetime/ And never let go 'til we're gone”

The voice came from the other side of the roof and sounded like it moved past her quickly. She rushed to the balcony railing and looked around in the darkness to figure out where the voice  had gone. Finally she noticed the silhouette of her partner two rooftops over, leaping and singing My Heart Will Go On. 

He disappeared over the next building and Marinette shook her head as she headed back to her chair to finish her outfit. “Damn cat,” she muttered to herself.

She sat back down, put her pencil to the paper and froze. Her outfit would not come. All she could think of was Chat Noir singing that damn song. In her mind, all she could see was Chat Noir on top of the Eiffel Tower, arms spread wide, as the wind whipped his hair around his faux ears, yelling to all of Paris, ‘I’m the king of the world!’

“Uhhggg! Dumb, stupid, lovable, furball!” She grumbled as she turned to a different section of her book that contained doodles. Her pencil met the paper and the drawing came to life.

_________________________________

The next day at school, Marinette sat on the benches between the lockers, smiling at her drawing from the night before. So lost in thought that she didn’t register the humming of Because you loved me, nor did she see the shadow as it came up behind her.

“What you got there, Marinette?”

“Gahh!” She screamed as Adrien snuck up behind her. Her sketchbook flew through the air landing face up, the sketch exposed for all to see. 

Adrien’s face went pale. “Wh..what is this?” He picked up the book and spun it around to look at the drawing. 

“Uhh.. just a doodle. Came to me randomly last night.” She stuttered out as she reached for the book, but he took a step back and hugged the book close. She bit her lip and thought something was wrong with it and almost missed what he said next.

“Can I have a copy?” He breathed out. 

“I’m. Sorry?” She said, completely confused. Why would Adrien want a picture of Chat Noir in a Titanic pose? And why did he look so pale and red at the same time?

“Uh. Oh. Um. You see. I’m a huge Titanic fan. And a huge superhero fan.” He stuttered out, not making eye contact,  his face became increasingly red as he went along. He stopped and had a look of dawning on his face, “Actually, can I make a request?”

“Uhh. I guess so?”

“Can you make me this sketch, but can you do it from later on in the movie, when it’s Jack and Rose. But can you make it Ladybug and Chat Noir and on the Titanic? Please? I’ll pay for it! How much do you want?” 

After breaking out of her shock, Marinette couldn’t help but lovingly smile at him as he became more excited as he spoke. A plan was already forming in her mind as pieces of a puzzle she didn't know she had, started to form in her head.

“Adrien.”

“Yes?”

“You don’t have to pay me.”

“But I can!!”

“But you won’t! Don’t worry Adrien, I’ll do it for you, because you are my friend. And I love giving gifts to my friends.” She stuck her hand out and he placed the sketchbook in her open palm.

“Thank you so much, Marinette! This means a lot to me! You have no idea!”

“Oh, I think I have an idea,” she said quietly.

“What was that?”

“Oh! I said, I have an idea...for the picture..yeah! It’s going to be great, you’ll love it! Ok. Gotta go! See you, Adrien!” 

She gathered her belongings and left the locker room, not stopping until she reached her room. She flopped down on her chaise, grabbed the pillow, and proceeded to scream into it. Tikki flew out of her purse and landed on Marinette’s head. 

“Marinette, are you ok? It’s just a drawing.”

Marinette lifted her head up and sighed dreamily, “It’s so much more than that.”

Confused, Tikki flew off to the bed while Marinette threw herself at her desk and began to furiously draw.

__________________________

A few days later the drawing was ready and she had a wonderful way to give it to him. Right before sunset she transformed, grabbed a blanket with supplies and hopped over to the roof next to hers. The same roof where Chat Noir had told her that he was glad to have her as a friend and she told him she was in love with another boy. 

Oh the irony, she thought.

She set up a blanket, placed two pillows at each end, and put a box of assorted pastries, mostly passionfruit, in between them. She placed a few fake candles around the blanket and a small bluetooth speaker next to one of the pillows, but mostly out of sight from someone not looking for it. Satisfied, she looked at the time; two hours till showtime. 

She hopped back over to her balcony and went down into her room. She grabbed her phone and a present off her desk, wrapped in black paper with a green ribbon, and hugged it close to her. She really hoped he liked it. She went back outside and hopped back over to the roof, except this time she hid on the other side of a chimney and waited for him to arrive. 

Once she heard the tell-tale metallic sound of his staff twirling through the air, she looked at her cell phone and opened the music app. She had the song queued up, all she had to do was push play as soon as he landed. 

She peaked around the corner of the chimney and the look of awe on Chat Noir’s face had her grinning ear to ear. She looked back down to her phone and pressed play. Power of Love started to play through the speaker causing Chat to jump into the air in surprise. 

As the song headed toward the second chorus Ladybug got ready to make her appearance; she was going to knock his socks off. He kept looking around for her, and the moment he had his back turned from her couldn’t have worked out more perfectly, as she walked from behind the chimney, present in hand, as she sang in accented english.

“'Cause I'm your lady/ And you are my man/ Whenever you reach for me/ I'll do all that I can/ We're heading for something/ Somewhere I've never been/ Sometimes I am frightened/ But I'm ready to learn/ Of the power of love.”

“La..Ladybug?!” His voice was tight. He was on the verge of tears, wondering if this was real, a sentimonster, or a dream. His hand twitched to grab his staff and run away from the situation. She paused the music and tossed her phone on the pillow.

“Hello, Chaton. I know what you’re thinking. Yes, this is real. No, I am not a sentimonster. And I know that’s what a sentimonster would say, but hear me out! When we fought Copycat, all those months ago, you remember what made me realize which one was real?”

He nodded his head.

“You looked up at me from the ground, winked, and said ‘Would I ever lie to you, Buginette?’ remember?”

“Oh My Lady!” He ran to scoop her up in his arms. “I was so scared! Never do that to this poor cat's heart again!”

“Sorry. Guess I was just a little excited.”

“What is all of this? Why now? And I didn’t know you liked Celine Dion too!!”

“All will be answered in time. For now, open it.” She handed him the present he had almost squashed between them when he hugged her.

“A present? For me? But it’s not even my birthday.”

“I know.” He looked up at her, confused, “Just open it!” 

She watched as he opened the present to reveal a small notebook that had pages that could be added or removed. He looked at it questioningly as she started speaking again.

“You see, I may enjoy Celine Dion, but not enough to commission a friend to draw a picture of his superhero alter ego, standing on the bow of the titanic with his superhero partner.” She looked at him as he lost all color in his face. 

He looked down at the book and opened it. There on the first page, was the original doodle of Chat Noir on the Eiffel Tower, encased in a plastic page sleeve. He turned the page and gasped. It was almost the same picture, but instead of just Chat Noir, Ladybug was standing right behind him, standing on the second rung of the railing, to make her seem taller, her arms wrapped around his torso, as she sat her head on his shoulder. 

“How did you..”

“Keep going, there's one more.” She interrupted.

He looked back down, tears glistened in his eyes, and turned the page. There, in beautiful color was a picture of two people standing on the bow of the titanic; except it wasn’t Ladybug and Chat Noir. Standing in the front was Marinette with her arms spread wide with Adrien behind her, his arms around her waist as she leaned into his chest. Picture Adrien leaned in to give picture Marinette a kiss on her cheek as her face was flushed. Both of them were wearing the original clothes that Jack and Rose wore.

“Mar...Marinette?” He looked up as tears of joy flowed down his face, to see Ladybug smiling wide at him. 

“Hello, Adrien. I’d drop my transformation but I didn’t exactly tell Tikki about all this, so I’d rather not have to hear a lecture quite yet.”

He gaped at her and rushed to gather her in his arms again. 

“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! This is the best present anyone has ever given me! Thank you so much, My Lady! Oh! I call you Buginette!! It’s so close to your actual name! No wonder you hate it! But seriously, Celine Dion! I loved it! You have an amazing voice, My Lady! And your art? Wonderful! When we get married I’m hanging this in our living room for all to see!”

Ladybug laughed at the overexcited boy in a cat suit. “Well, Adrien has to ask Marinette on a date before she agrees to marry him. But I have it on good authority that she’ll say yes.” 

“Nope, we are skipping all the steps! We are going to go find someone to marry us right now! Show up to school tomorrow as newlyweds, and watch everyone freak out!”

“Ok. Ok. Calm down, Cat-sanova, we’ll get there. But first, I think you promised payment for a drawing. And as you can see I have provided you with three.” She puckered her lips out a little and batted her eyelashes. 

“Payment? But you said they were a gift! I would have brought my wallet! If I had known!”

Ladybug gave him a deadpanned look as he started to freak out again, “Adrien.”

“Yes?”

“Just kiss me, Chaton.”

“Ohhhhhh. That kind of payment! Yeah. I can do th..”

She didn’t give him a chance to finish, for fear that he wouldn't stop, grabbed him by the bell and yanked him down to her lips, as she threw her other arm to latch around his neck. His arms came around her waist, as they held each other tight.

Celine Dion would definitely be a part of their wedding playlist.

[kailedger]

for all the YOI fanfic author, p.2

Oh wow, let me tell you, I really didn't expect the previous post on Russian culture to blow up ahaha (Here’s the link to it, in case you’re wondering: https://kailedger.tumblr.com/post/621351027189350400/for-all-the-yoi-fanfic-authors) But since it did, I decided to make a part two, sort of? It's not gonna be about mistakes in fanfiction, but more about things English-speaking authors don't mention simply because they don't know they exist.

I’ll give you the general info and then maybe throw some thoughts about how specific YOI characters would relate to that info in my personal opinion.

HOLIDAYS. We have a lot of those TBH, but I'll mention the most important ones - the ones for which we have official days off. I mean, yeah, you can find a list of those in Wikipedia, if you want, but it doesn't actually tell you the reality of things. I've already mentioned the New Year in the previous post, so let’s skip it.

23rd of February is the Defender of the Fatherland Day. It's actually for those who served in the army, but the tradition is to congratulate everyone who's male. Must have something to do with the fact that on 8th of March we have an International Women's Day, when we congratulate everyone who's female. Doesn't really make sense to me, since, you know, there are women in the army too. And a lot of men haven't served a day in their life, what the hell do I have to thank them for? (Here's an example: my dad used to be in the navy, submarine's captain actually, and every year when I congratulate him, he says something along the lines of "Why? There was no war conflict when I served". That's him being humble, but still, the point is there).

ANYWAY! We're not very big on celebrations of these two holidays, most of the time you just give a call to your respective male/female friends and relatives, give flowers to the ladies and just... enjoy your day off?

 Next one is the May holidays. Those are usually on the 1-3 of May, the official name (as Wiki states) is "The Day of Spring and Labour". Honestly, no one uses it lol We just say "the first May holidays" (since we also have the second, that's how much we don't wanna work in May; kinda ironic the holiday is called "the day of labour").

You don't congratulate anyone on this day, usually you just have a couple of days off. If we're lucky, the weather would be nice and then people go to the countryside to have a (oh my god, this is gonna be a mouthful) SHASHLYKI. We'll get back to this thing, and you know why? Since if you want someone to embrace the real Russian culture, you would make them go to shashlyki, trust me.

 The second May holiday is the Victory Day, and it's kinda... controversial in a way. It is a big celebration for the victory in World War II. Soviet Union suffered a lot during the war with the Nazi Germany, St. Petersburg was under the siege for more than TWO YEARS. And this holiday is both somber and happy since thanks to our ancestors we survived this hell and are now able to live in peace. The celebration is pretty big on official levels - there are military parades everywhere, concerts, people thank the war veterans (there are precious few of them left by now). When I was still in school, they made us visit those parades every year. Guess what? I've never been to a single parade since I graduated. It's not that I don't value the heroism of people who fought in WWII, it's that I think our government uses this holiday to brag how great we are (or, rather, THEY are), 'cause they haven't done anything worth of praise since 1945, which is... depressing, when you think of it. The ridiculous thing is the parade was canceled this year due to coronavirus, but GUESS WHAT? They've used BILLIONS OF DOLLARS to still have it on 24th of June. While the rate of people getting sick is still abnormally high. All because on the 1st of July we're having a vote on the constitution amendments and our government needs an extra boost in patriotism from our people (should I mention some of the amendments are homophobic? Yeah, it sucks).

Well... that was a rant completely offtopic lol. But, you know, this is the opinion of the most people below the age of 35. Also a huge problem here in Russia. Anyway, as I was saying. Used to be a really great holiday where we thanked the veterans and were reminded of the price they paid. Now it's just a sad excuse for the government to waste money sigh

So, a day off. Some fireworks, a hell lot of traffic problems due to parades. Not much else, if you're from the younger generation.

 Same thing goes to the 12th of June. Officially a "Russia Day", but since up until the point I graduated from the uni I had summer holidays, I barely even acknowledged the holiday, cause I didn't have to study/work anyway. So like... I lived my whole life here in Russia, and I have no idea why we celebrate this holiday on the 12th of June. I can google it right now, but that kind of would contradict my point here lol.

The last one is on the 3-4 of November. I think it's called something like "Unity Day", but, again, no idea why. Most of the time we just call it "the November holidays" or even "fall holidays". Honestly, most of the time we just care about the days off, especially if the holiday is supposed to be "patriotic". (When I put it like this, we kinda sound like assholes. Probably cause we are lol).

Birthdays mainly depend on the specific person. I used to love my birthdays and it was a big holiday for me when I was a kid, but then I turned 18 and it kinda lost its charm. You still celebrate it, especially if the date is something like 30, 35, 40, 45 and so on. But it gets less and less exciting over the years. I gather my friends at home and just have drinks, my fiance goes to a bar on his birthday. Not very... celebratory, ya know?

So. YOI characters. ALL OF THEM would definitely celebrate New Year. They would probably send some congratulations on 23rd of February and 8th of March. It you think of the Russian rinkmates as friends, they can go the countryside together on the first May holidays, but not actually do anything on the Victory Day (Yakov may attend the parade since he’s from the older generation). Nothing specific to do on 12th of June or November holidays, most likely the rink would be closed, so, like, just a day off.

  And now to the important stuff. SHASHLYKI. Oh my god guys, I’m so excited, cause this is one of those things that is AWESOME in Russian culture. And also makes most of the foreigners really confused. But it has some similarities with the American barbeque gatherings, I think.

First of all, many of us live in big cities (like I live in St. Petersburg for example), but we still have countryside houses. Sometimes it’s where our grandparents live, sometimes we buy it specifically. The thing is – we usually go to these places we call “dacha” to have some rest from the noise of the big city and enjoy the fresh air. Usually dachas have gardens, my mom is crazy about all this greenery stuff (I personally don’t see what’s the big deal with taking care of the plants, but I was told it comes with age ;D).

And to enjoy the experience even more we have shashlyki. It’s usually grilled meat (chicken, pork, whichever you prefer) and vegetables, but the process is what makes it really fun. Most families have their own recipes for marinated meat, you prepare it beforehand. Then, on the day, you make some snacks (salted pickles and fresh vegetables come to my mind immediately; pickles are like a must-have, it’s almost an obligatory food since it goes really well with vodka lol). While some of the people sit around the table, have drinks and catch up, there’s usually one person responsible for grilling meat. And this process is very important – it’s gotta be cooked on the brazier with actual flame (or, more like, coals). You put pieces of meat on a metallic skewer and then grill it (I think there’s the word “kebab”, but we usually use it to describe an entirely different meal, so, shashlyk it is). And let me tell you – having a freshly grilled shashlyk with some vegetables and a drink like wine (or vodka if you’re into it) is the best feeling in the world.

So you’re enjoying the fresh air, really tasty meal, have some drinks with family or/and friends. A pretty common thing (not for everyone, but I personally love it) is having someone play the guitar and sing songs around the campfire. The songs we sing are usually either stupid or old, and you would never just casually listen to those on your own, but when the time comes and you sit with the guitar, somehow EVERYONE knows the lyrics. The point is to have fun, not make a concert out of it :)

I actually think that Victor and the rest of the gang would at least try to give Yuuri (and other non-Russians, who knows) this kind of experience. I also headcanon someone (Otabek or maybe Victor himself) knowing how to play the guitar. But I wouldn’t trust Victor with the grilling, honestly, it requires a lot of attention, and… well… you all know what Victor is like ;D

  And since we’re on the topic of music, let’s discuss it. Me and a dear friend of mine @clarie-foster, who also happens to be both Russian and a YOI fan, had a lot of headcanons on this.

What you need to know, is when it comes to music, here in Russia we’re pretty flexible. The popular music is the one you can here everywhere, it’s on European and American charts, like, I dunno, Beyonce, Ed Sheeran, Gaga etc. There’s Russian pop-music and, honestly, it sucks lol. Most of the time I listen to it cause it’s dumb and catchy. There are some good artists, of course, I can throw you a couple of name bands like “Ночные Снайперы”, “Сплин”, “Би-2”, but the songs are in Russian, and although the lyrics are pretty damn good, they’re kinda hard to understand if you don’t know the language (I mean, just reading the translation won’t give you the whole experience). And those bands are… depressing? In a way? Not that the songs are extremely dark or something, but you kind of listen to those in a melancholic mood. Me and one of my best friends used to go out on the balcony in summer, sit wrapped in a blanket and listen to those songs. Great experience, if a little sad.

BUT. There’s the old pop-music. We have some of those artists, who were really popular when my parents were young and somehow still popular these days. Their music is honestly average – the tunes might be catchy, the lyrics are mediocre at best, but… when you have a little bit to drink, you get in that mood, where you start singing those old pop-songs. And it’s not like listening to ABBA or, I don’t know, A-ha, since those are classic and still good these days. Russian pop-songs SUCK, they’re horrible, but somehow that is the best kind of music when you’re drunk.

I personally think Victor is one of those people who would totally jam to the old Russian pop. It’s funny, since most of it is from female singers (There’s literally a song from a Russian singer Irina Allegrova called “Go crazy, wild empress”, no kidding). I just can picture him so clearly being drunk and singing those old songs with abandon lol.

Mila would probably join him while laughing hysterically. Georgi too, since he’s a drama queen. And Yuri would make all kinds of disgusted faces.

 Two facts which I have never seen being mentioned in fanfiction, which is really weird. So Victor lives in St. Petersburg, as we all saw from those last scenes in the anime (in the background you can see actual places from St. P like our sports stadium). And St. Petersburg is mostly known for two things: bridges and white nights.

WHITE NIGHTS OH MY GOD. I don’t want to go to deep into the details since I don’t really understand the nature of this thing (something to do with sun not really going down? I dunno), but in summer, especially in June and July it basically doesn’t get dark in St. Petersburg. I mean, the sun does go down, you can see the sunset and everything, but the sky stays like… white-grey, almost as though it’s midday, just cloudy. Like we’re in the middle of white nights right now, and the darkest hour is around 1 am, but even then it doesn’t really get dark at all. A lot of people from other cities and countries get confused by it, like, there was this time when Stephen Colbert was a guest on a Russian talk-show and he had a hilarious convo with the host. It was something like this: “So I’ve been in St. Petersburg for one day. It has lasted for 46 hours. Please tell me if the sun will ever go down, ‘cause I’m going crazy”.

For us common people white nights can get really annoying, if your curtains are not black-out, you can have a hard time falling asleep (since, you know, it’s too freaking bright outside). But it’s actually really great for late-night walks and is considered really romantic.

And, speaking of romantic, the bridges! What’s so special about those, you’d think. So St. Petersburg is built on the river Neva – it’s like really big, has a lot of tributaries and distributaries and flows through the whole city. Hence why we have tons of bridges.

And those bridges are drawing bridges, meaning they are separated in the middle by a special mechanism and are being lifted in the air so that the trade ships can pass underneath them. The most impressive one is the Palace Bridge – it’s one of the main sightseeing spots in the city. For most tourists it’s obligatory to visit St. Petersburg and see the drawing of the Palace Bridge. It happens at night, around the time of 1 am or 2 am. It’s really pretty, cause there are lights everywhere, you can see the ships passing by and the view of this huge structure being lifted in the air is really magnificent. Combine it with the white nights and you’ll have one of the most romantic dates you can have here in Russia.

(On the more realistic and depressing note: despite the drawing of the bridges being really beautiful, it’s SUCH a pain in the ass for the regular people. Like, because of the drawing you can’t really get from one side of the city to another. For example, I live in the northern part and if for some reason I couldn’t get to it from the center of the city before the drawing of the bridges, I’m stuck till like 4 or 5 am. Subway only opens at 6 am, and although we have a couple of bridges which never draw, those are on the outskirts of the city, so taking an uber and driving there would cost you a lot of money and also would take like and extra hour or so. Thankfully, the drawing of the bridges lasts only from April to October-November, while the ship navigation on the Neva river is possible).

Last, but not least, SOCIAL MEDIA.

So, like, Instagram is pretty popular in Russia and so is Twitter. But what people rarely mention is our own social media site – Vkontakte (www.vk.com, if you’re interested). It started to become popular in like… 2008, I think? Basically it used to be and knock-off from Facebook, even the color scheme is the same. It became more and more popular over the years, since Facebook was never really a thing in Russia (like, I had a profile there, but I’ve never used it). Now it’s like… if you don’t have a VK profile, it’s super weird lol. I communicate with most of my friends through it, since it has a lot of really cool features: chats, group chats, communities, music, videos and photos. It’s gotten so big that VK even hosts its own music festival each year with a lot of popular Russian artists.

Victor is a social butterfly, so he would definitely have a VK profile. So would Mila, Yuri and Georgi, I personally think most of their communication would be through it. Maybe they would even force Yuuri to create a profile, but he’s not really into social media much, so he wouldn’t really use it.

 I think that’s it for now. Like I said, if you have any questions, feel free to ask, I would be happy to answer! ;)

[winchest09]

Our Virtual Lockdown - Lowdown

Hey everyone!

Our lockdown livestream was once again one fulled of fun, laughter, fic recs, games and...one unplanned round of charades! Ahaha!

6 hours we were talking...SIX and again, I loved every single second. It was so nice to see so many gorgeous faces, and I’m so happy that so many of you joined us! We had 18 in our party at one point! I just hope that all of you had a blast and enjoyed yourselves.

Me and @katehuntington​ love holding these events and we are already planning the next live stream (date to be announced) but it will be in this month (May).

This is the lowdown for the third lockdown party!

Below you will find:

Everyone who joined - their tags, what’s coming up fic wise and their masterlist.

A Challenge to join

Blogs who want to help with your writing

Fic Recs

Supernatural DnD

Announcements

Q + A’s with the writers.

So without further ado… *cracks fingers*

To everyone that joined...

You are the guys that make it the live stream what it is.  So below is a list of everyone who was on the chat last night accompanied by their masterlist and what they have coming up soon! In no particular order…

@katehuntington​​: Kate is currently working on the next instalment of Ride With Me, All I Want and a two part commission. We will see this on her blog soon!

Her masterlist can be found HERE

@flamencodiva​​​: This babe is currently working on Call of the Ocean, A revoluntionary war fiction, an ABO Greek Goddess fic AND an untitled angst filled fic including Dean, a girlfriend and secrets! She is also rewriting Underworld and Legend of Van Helsing.

She’s one busy gal and we LOVE IT. <3

Check out her masterlist HERE

@whatareyousearchingfordean​​​: Alex is currently writing the ending to her Jensen fiction Et Cetera and she already has a sequel in mind! At the moment she’s trying to decide her next move...Firefighter Dean OR Secret Service Dean? Head over there and let her know!

Her masterlist can be found HERE

@talesmaniac89​​​:  This beaut also has a lot that she’s working on at the moment. The next instalments of The Man in Apartment 43. The next chapters of Lost (which is a little darker), a fluffy Dean oneshot and a Castiel comfort fic.

Behind the scenes, she’s also working on a Heist AU, Another ‘Choose your own adventure’ fic and a Ghost Writer AU.

Check her out guys, her masterlist is HERE

@superfanficnatural​​​:  This babe is currently working on the next chapters of The Bringer of balance as well as the next chapters of The Choice! He’s posted a few oneshots in the past two weeks and is writing Male!Reader fics!

Behind the scenes he’s currently working on an RPF called Matchmaker, A reader knight of hell/demon dean fic which is a love hate relationship as WELL as a Marvel SPN crossover. OOFFT.

A new writer that is nailing it! Go and give him some love, his masterlist can be found HERE

@emoryhemsworth​​​: This beaut is currently working on a series which is based off of an album called ‘Losing Sleep’ Each song will be a chapter and we’ve already been treated to some of her plans! She also has some other goodies on her masterlist.

Check our her masterlist HERE:

@anathewierdo​​​: Is yet to create a masterlist but she is currently working on Call of the Ocean with Flamencodiva. Not only that, she’s also working on a Princess Diaries AU, a Serial Killer AU and after the livestream...a gunshow fic!

By gunshow we do mean The Winchester’s muscles.

*drools*

@girl-with-a-fandom-fettish​​: This wonderful lady joined us briefly on the live stream and although she left before we could find out what she has coming up!

Check our her masterlist HERE:

Me: I’m currently working on two series, Life for Rent and Man’s Best Friend! I also have a couple of Dean series being worked on in the background as well as a couple of oneshots…watch this space!

To the new writers...

These guys were all new to the live stream this week and were welcomed with open, loving, spn fam arms! After speaking to these babes, we know that they are fairly new to writing to the supernatural fandom. They all have AMAZING idea’s when we played our prompt game and hopefully all of them will bite that bullet and post their ideas soon.

Remember guys - we’re all here to love and support you! My inbox is always open if you want to talk fics, want me to look over one etc.

Go and follow and give them some love!

@janicho88​​ @queenbeesback​​ @imjustadrummer​​ @malfoysqueen14​​

and to the readers that joined…

@leissa1287​​​ @waywardbeanie​​​ @dawnie1988​​

We love you, we thank you for reading and we thank you for all the support and love you give us constantly. Thank you for joining the chat and we hope you had an amazing time <3

-------------------------

CHALLENGE TIME

Ohhhh yes! One of our amazing writers, the darling @flamencodiva​​ is holding a celebration in regards to reaching 1700 followers!

Congrats babe!

Not only is she hosting a character take over on her blog she’s also posted a writing challenge for all us writers out there!

Check it out HERE

-------------------------

Need Help with a fic?

We’ve got you covered!

Need to has out a plot with someone?

The lovely @malfoysqueen14​​ has offered herself up to be a plot buddy to anyone that needs it. Stuck on a plot point, want to talk through a story line with someone? Give her a message! She’s here to help <3

Need help writing those all important fight scenes?

Give our babe @imjustadrummer​​ a message! They are filled with knowledge and even give us a demonstration on how to punch correctly on the livestream! Definitely one to have on your contacts list! <3

Need help with research for a fiction?

The most wonderful @waywardbeanie​​​ has offered herself up to be a researcher for anyone who wants help with their fiction. She has been a die hard SPN fan forever and she’s like the Ellen of our live stream.

Need a researching buddy? Give her a message! She’s a doll <3

-------------------------

Fic & blog Recs!

In our live stream, we want to highlight what we’ve been reading and the amazing authors behind the words. So below is a list of all the fics that we recommend for some good ol fic binging!

@deansdirtylittlesecretsblog​​: We were told of this lovely little gold mine by Alex and we just have to include it on here! This writer has so many fics on her masterlist...you’re gonna be there for a while!

Check them all out HERE

When You Least Expect It by @coffee-obsessed-writer​​

Summary: After a hard breakup, Jensen decides to throw himself into organizing a Music Festival in Austin that is meant to raise money for a few of his most cherished charities and organizations. As he throws himself into planning it, he stumbles upon a spirited, undiscovered performer, who he convinces to come aboard to help plan and coordinate the event with him.

What transpires after that takes both Jensen and his new friend, by surprise. But when their respective pasts come back just before the event kicks off in Austin, they will both have to decide if the unexpected feelings are worth perusing, or if they should just walk away and go on with their lives.

Dear Dean by @smol-and-grumpy​​

Summary: After taking Saint Lo, by sheer dumb luck, Lieutenant Dean Winchester from the 29th Infantry Division, Baker Company, received a truckload of replacements for his platoon that was falling apart. Little did he know, that one recruit would change his life forever.

Almost Paradise by @amanda-teaches​​

Summary: Dean finds himself looking at pictures of old loves. Will he ever be able to find that paradise again?

Turned Sideways by @crashdevlin​​​

Summary: (Rockstar AU)  When Y/n gets an opportunity to meet her favorite band backstage at their concert, she assumes they won’t even ask her name. But when she impresses the front man, Dean, with her voice and knowledge of their entire catalog of songs, it launches a chain of events that is sure to change her entire life.

Crash Into Me by @crashdevlin​​

Summary:  Dean meets and befriends a witch in NW Florida. This is their interactions over the course of season 8 through season 14.

Midwife Crisis by @ellewritesfix05​​

Summary: (Elle hasn’t written one it appears but in my words) - You were heavily pregnant with Dean’s child, hormones raging and Dean was receiving the brutal end of it. Needing a break, he fakes a case to get away. When your good friend Gabriel hears of this...he decides he needs to teach Dean a lesson with a little help from is prankster ways...

PHEW! I definitely think we have enough fics on here to last us for a few days…don’t you? ;) Please guys don’t forget to give these writers some love when reading their fics, comments, reblogs, asks. It means the world.

-------------------------

Interested in roleplaying & DnD?

@imjustadrummer​​ is setting up a Dungeons and Dragons campaign set in the Supernatural (main) universe!

If you’re into role playing, fancy bringing one of your OFC’s to life or just wanna be badass yourself...why not consider joining?!

All the information you need on this is HERE

Make some new friends, live out your dreams of being a hunter, angel or demon and HAVE FUN!

-------------------------

ANNOUNCEMENTS!

We have three wonderful announcements to make this time! We have THREE blogs celebrating followers!

A massive congratulations to:

@flamencodiva​​: This beautiful mama has reached 1700!

@whatareyousearchingfordean​​: This absolute babe has reached 1000!

@superfanficnatural​​: This beaut has reached 200!

WOOHOO!

*pops the party poppers*

-------------------------

Q & A With The Writers!

During this live stream, we asked everyone to join in and ask questions to the writers you want to know more about...the write up is below :)

- If you could collab with any other writer on here, who would it be? Alex ( @whatareyousearchingfordean​​) : @superfanficnatural​  because of the male reader aspect/sides of things! 

Emory (@emoryhemsworth​) : I’d like to collab with @winchest09​ (Tabby)

- Has anyone ever guessed the plot twist of one of your fics before you posted it?

@talesmaniac89​ : This did happen once and what was once a fluffy ending got turned into a bad ending because it was guessed. It happened once that they managed to get it so i changed it. 

- What was the last line you wrote?

@katehuntington​ :  “The cowgirl smirks and gently pushes him into the tack box in order for them both to be out of sight. Once they are safe from Bobby’s eyes, she kisses him, short and sweetly, but it’s enough to make Dean’s head spin”

- Have you ever cried whilst writing a fic?

@superfanficnatural​ : I cried to one last time, the angsty fic i wrote. I  was trying to get into the mood, i was mad, so went fuck it i’m gonna break peoples hearts. And then i cried haha.

- Can you tell us what writers you really admire?

@emoryhemsworth​ :   All of you are included in this live stream, that’s a given but I am going to talk about people who aren’t in here.  @impala-dreamer​, @kittenofdoomage​, @supernatural-jackles​, @ravengirl94​ are just a few. In regards to Rhi (Kittenofdoomage), everything she writes is just gold. She’s not written anything that’s bad! For Beka (impala dreamer) I just love her as a person. Oh and @bringmesomepie56​, her fics are just amazing.  

- Have you ever amended a story due to criticisms you’ve received after posting it?

@flamencodiva​ : No, not really. My stories tend to evolve in the writing process. Underworld princess and Call of the Ocean were meant to be super different than what they are now. We realised we had changed certain plot points as we were writing but that was before we started to post it. 

- Are there any stories that you wished you’d ended differently?

@winchest09​ :  Yes and no. I’ve had stories which were originally meant to end a certain way and they changed over time. Sometimes I do wonder what the reactions would have been like if i had gone with the original ending for Shatter Me and if hadn’t have gone down the angsty road for Yesterday but then I think fics choose their own path as you write them. It felt right at the time. 

- What is your favourite genre to write for?

@malfoysqueen14​ :  Angst. Never mind the fluff, the smut, the crack, it’s all about the angst. The angst is my ultimate goal. 

- Where do you get your inspiration from?

@imjustadrummer​ : A daily situation, or films. If the kids I worked with have said something weird i’d be like…”oh yeah, hey that can be a fic!”  A lot of different places really!

- Funniest story you’ve written?

@queenbeesback​ : It was an online thing, where they met online and it took a while for them to meet up. That was quite light hearted. 

- What is everyone's favourite ships?

Everyone: Dean and Donna. Benny and Dean. Sam and Eileen. Dean and Jo. Charlie and Alex. Sam and Gabriel

- What’s your favourite trope to write?

@anathewierdo​ : Friends to lovers and enemies to lovers

- Which part of your upcoming fic was the hardest to write?

@imjustadrummer​ : Trying to work out all the clues and cleverness to it. Like codes and things, working out how to put in all the easter eggs in my upcoming fic. It’s like a treasure hunt so I need to ensure there is cleverness in there.

- If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

@superfanficnatural​ : Oh that’s...ok...most definitely...Smuuuuttttt (pretty much how he announced it)

-------------------------

I think that’s it!

Thank you so much once again to everyone who joined the chat, we had 6 hours of laughs and i cannot wait to do it again. I’d appreciate it if you could share this to spread the love of the fics and authors on here!

Keep an eye out for the next date for our next livestream! It will be in a couple of weeks, date to be announced. If you guys have any idea’s or want something included, let us know. If you want to be tagged when we announce, let us know!

@deanwanddamons​ - tagging you babe as you asked so you can catch up on what we talked about <3 

THANK YOU.

xox

[puckinganderson]

Finding You - Part Two

Feat. Josh Anderson

Part One

Word Count: 4,202

Warnings: drinking, language, smut

A/N: here is a link for the the red dress :) I hope you enjoy, please send feedback!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

“Thank you,” you told Alex with a soft smile as he helped you out of his car and placed a hand at the small of your back.

Alex and you met in a class freshman year and bonded immediately, staying close ever since. He was one of the few men in your life that you felt completely comfortable with, never trying to make more out of your friendship. You valued his honesty, especially since he never made you feel judged.

Although he was a year older, he decided to stay in Columbus after graduating and you still tried to see him regularly. When he asked you to be his date last minute to a fundraising event for his job, you couldn’t say no.

That’s how you ended up downtown on a Friday evening in your favorite cocktail dress. The red silk had an asymmetrical top, with two straps running over your left shoulder and falling just below your knees.

Once again, Kate came to your rescue and helped do your hair and makeup. Your hair was naturally straight, so she added some texture and pinned it into a stylish low-bun. She kept your makeup natural, which you preferred, and topped the look off with a nude lip.

“You look beautiful, in case I haven’t told you,” Alex whispered in your ear as he escorted you inside the doors and handed the hostess your invites for the event.

“Well, I had to keep up with my hot date,” you teased, but meant it. Alex was a handsome guy and looked great in a black suit. Part of you always wished you could feel something more for him, but it just wasn’t there. You both knew it, which made things much easier, and spent many nights out being each other’s wing man.

“Ok, I just need to go find my boss and check in with him first,” he said while directing you towards a group of men.

The venue was an old church, converted into a space for concerts and other events like tonight. Finger foods were being passed around and drinks were poured heavy so donors would open their pockets. Finding Alex’s boss, you stood by his side while he introduced you to three men from his company.

“It’s nice to meet you all, this place looks beautiful,” you told them.

You were listening as Alex started to tell a story animatedly. Suddenly, you felt the need to look over your left should, like you could feel eyes burning holes into your bare skin. Who you certainly didn’t expect to see, however, was Josh.

He was standing across the room, close to the bar, with a drink in his hand. Next to him was Seth, who you remembered meeting at the bar and another guy you didn’t recognize. Checking him out in his charcoal grey suit, a blush rose to your cheeks remembering what was underneath the fitted material.

“Y/N, are you ok?” Alex snapped you back into reality, leading you a few feet away and looking around to see what stole your attention.

“Oh uh, yeah I’m fine. What’s this fundraiser even for?” You questioned, wondering what would’ve brought Josh here.

Last time you saw one another two weeks ago, you’d barely even got past learning his name before you were jumping one another. You certainly hadn’t taken the time to learn what he did for a living. Alex had never mentioned him from work before though, so you assumed he worked somewhere else in the city.

“Oh, we’re partnering with the Blue Jackets Foundation as a new program for the schools we work in,” Alex explained, sounding genuinely excited about his work. “Our company is here, along with the team and some important other potential donors from the city.”

Nodding your head, you tried like hell to not turn back to look at Josh.

“Can we get a drink?” You asked Alex, desperately needing one at this point.

“Yeah, I could use one to get through tonight,” he said and you chuckled, not able to agree more.

Alex knew your drink order by this point in your friendship, so you stood a few feet back while he got you a Crown and Coke, and his own gin and tonic.

After about an hour, drinks were flowing more and the crowd had noticeably relaxed. You had forced yourself not to seek out Josh, but at times you could feel his eyes on your skin. Alex didn’t ask, but he knew something was off with you.

The band had started to play music and as the night went on more people joined the dance floor. Talking to Alex’s coworkers and potential donors was easy, and he made you feel comfortable by his side. A few drinks in and you knew a bathroom break couldn’t be put off any longer.

“Alex, I’m running to the restroom,” you whispered in his ear. “I’ll find you soon.”

Heading towards the back of the venue, you saw there was a long line. Deciding to get a drink while you waited, you stopped by the bar on the way.

“Well, well, well... look what the cat dragged in,” you heard Josh tease from behind.

Not sure what to do or say, you turned and gave him a shy smile.

“I really wasn’t expecting to see you here Josh,” you told him honestly.

He stepped forward to give you a hug, which really caught you off guard. His thick arms engulfed your frame and made you feel so small in comparison. Taking a second to breath him in, you realized how much you had missed that smell since your night together.

“You look stunning, (Y/N),” Josh whispered in your ear, causing you to take in a deep, shaky breath. Goosebumps broke out over your skin and you tried to shake it off before he noticed.

Smirking at the visible response he had on you, Josh changed the subject. “So who’s the date?” he questioned, not even beating around the topic, while he stirred his drink.

“Oh, Alex? He’s just a good friend,” you told him vaguely, seeing the muscle in his jaw tick at your answer.

“Alex, huh? Why do I already not like the guy?”

“I’m not sure, but that doesn’t really sound like my problem,” you chirped back. He didn’t get to act possessive after spending one night together, even if it was an amazing night.

Josh chuckled to himself and took a moment to eye you from head to toe. His eyes turned darker, a familiar look you had seen before. Seeing his tongue peek out and lick his lips, you knew you had to shut any of his ideas down.

“Ah, ah, ah,” you scolded. “Don’t get any ideas Josh, I’m here with my friend.”

Luckily, the line had gotten short enough that you brushed Josh off and walked into the bathroom. Taking your time, you finished up and made sure to apply a fresh coat of nude lipstick.

Walking back out, you avoided looking around so you hopefully didn’t see Josh. Heading back towards where Alex was earlier, you saw him turn to give you a smile.

“Want another drink?” he asked, leading you away from the group so it was just the two of you.

Never saying no to a free drink, you took him up on his offer and watched him disappear into the crowd. While he was gone, one of the men Alex had introduced you to before got on stage with a microphone. It was really amazing to hear him talk about the project in the same passionate way that Alex did.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I’d like to introduce you to the men that brought us together tonight,” he continued on.

As he spoke, you saw Josh, Seth and about twenty other men walk on stage. This time, however, they were all wearing jersey’s over their suits. “Columbus, our very own Blue Jackets!”

The crowd cheered loudly and you were confused. Josh was a Blue Jacket? What? You loved sports, but stuck to baseball and football. Before college, you’d never even seen a hockey game. So it made sense that you weren’t completely in touch with the Blue Jackets fandom, but you didn’t think you were that oblivious.

Completely shocked and lost in thought, it took you a second to realize one of the players on stage was passed the mic.

“As captain of the Blue Jackets, I’m extremely proud to be a part of a team that gets to give back to the amazing Columbus community. I speak on behalf of all of the boys on stage that we couldn’t be more excited for the new program to start. Every kid deserves the opportunity to play a sport we love so much. Please consider helping out the Foundation tonight, thank you!”

As the player spoke, you looked at Josh and saw he was already watching you with a smirk. Clearly he could see the shock on your face and knew you just realized who he was. Did you care he was a professional athlete? No. But did you feel like a dumb ass for not realizing? Absolutely.

“Thank you Nick! Everyone please enjoy the rest of our evening together,” Alex’s boss finished up talking and everyone was shuffled off stage. Soon, the music started back up and the lights were dimmed down.

Alex was standing back at your side and handed you a drink. “Thanks,” you told him.

“C’mon Y/N, you’ve gotta dance with me,” Alex didn’t even give you a chance to argue before he was taking your free hand and pulling you towards the dance floor. Luckily you’d had a few drinks to loosen up first, or you would not be agreeing to this.

At this point in the night the music had shifted from slow songs to music you would hear at a bar, making it easy to dance with Alex. He was so much smoother on his feet than you and had to do most of the work.

Before you knew it, Alex was pulling out all of his moves and making you laugh hysterically. You weren’t even sure how much time had passed when Alex’s boss approached the two of you, making Alex’s goofy dancing and your giggles stop.

“Y/N, do you mind if I steal Alex from you? I’ve got an important connection from the foundation I’d like for him to meet,” his boss asked, but you both knew it wasn’t really a question.

“Of course not, I’ll be here when you’re done,” you told the two of them, wishing the best for your friend and his career.

“You’re the best, (Y/N),” Alex told you, walking away.

Turning back towards the dance floor, you took in the crowd having fun. From the corner near the stage, you saw Josh talking to Seth and nodding in your direction. Seth patted him on the should and he started walking towards you. Oh no, you thought, seeing him saunter over towards you.

“Wanna dance?” Josh asked with a grin.

“Now where have I heard that proposition before?” you referenced back to the first night you’d met.

Grabbing your hand, he led you to the dance floor as the music slowed to a classic. The band started to sing What a Wonderful World, and Josh brought you into his embrace. One of his hands warmed the small of your back, while the other held onto your hand.

“Josh, why didn’t you tell me who you were?” not wasting time ignoring the elephant int the room.

“What do you mean?” he chuckled, looking into your eyes.

“Ha-ha, very funny,” you blushed at his teasing.

“I liked that you didn’t know. Most girls are just attracted to me because I play, and once I realized you had no clue who I was, it felt nice to know you just wanted me for me.”

Taking a deep breath, you broke eye contact because his stare was just too vulnerable. How did you feel this connection to someone that was basically a stranger still? All you knew was that when you were with him, he made you feel alive. No one had been able to do that for a long, and you didn’t want to question it anymore.

Everything about being in his presence made you want to risk your sanity and say fuck it. You knew he was dangerous. After three months of being single, you were finally starting to feel like yourself. Josh wasn’t safe, and he certainly wasn’t smart. But, why couldn’t you just be irresponsible and have some fun?

Almost as if he could read your thoughts, he took your hand and started pulling you towards the exit. Pulling out your phone, you text Alex to say you weren’t feeling well.

You: Hey, sorry I think the drinks upset my stomach so I caught an Uber home. Sorry, I’ll see you soon!

Alex: No worries, I hope you feel better! Let me know when you make it home, see you soon.

Standing by Josh while you waited for an Uber, you saw him looking over your shoulder as you read Alex’s response.

“So, Alex is really just a friend?” Josh questioned, bringing up your conversation from the bathroom line earlier.

“Oh yeah, we met my freshman year and have been friends every since,” you told him honestly, deciding it was a waste to play games. “It’s never been more, we just don’t have that chemistry.”

Taking a second to read your eyes, Josh decided to trust you. “Well, I can’t say I feel bad for the guy.”

Rolling your eyes at his comment, the Uber pulled up a moment later and Josh escorted you into the back seat. The ride back to his place was an easy silence, with his hand on your knee. It continually surprised you at how comfortable it felt to be around him.

When Josh unlocked his door, he wasted no time making small talk or offering drinks like last time. Your back was immediately pushed up against the wall and his lips latched onto your neck, nibbling and sucking. Letting your head fall back against the wall with a moan, you lifted your legs up to wrap around his waist. You were sure your neck would be raw by the time he got done with his assault.

Walking you both backwards towards his room, you felt him reach out blindly to flip the lights on. Josh brought you over to his bed and set you down on the edge of it, stepping into your legs. You reached your hands up and started to unbutton his shirt while he watched you.

When you finally had all of the buttons undone, Josh pushed the shirt off his shoulders. Taking your hand, he pulled you off of the bed and turned you around so your back was to his front. You could feel his breath on your neck while his hands started to unzip your silk dress. Josh’s hands reached into your hair and pulled out the pins, letting your curls tumble free.

“Fuck Y/N, your skin is so soft,” Josh groaned out while bending to leave kisses all over your shoulders. Letting your head fall back to his chest, you closed your eyes and enjoyed the sensation of his soft lips and stubble.

When your dress finally fell off your hips, you were left standing in a black lace strapless bra with matching panties. Josh’s hands immediately wrapped around your front to pull down the bra cups and pinch your nips.

“Josh, please,” you mewled, trying to keep strength in your legs from giving out. Your hands reached between you, feeling his hard cock, and you started to pull at his belt trying to get his pants down.

Josh turned you to face him and lifted you to only throw you back down onto the bed. His hands went to start unzipping his pants and he had them off within seconds, left only in his boxer briefs. Leaning down over you, he took your nipple in his mouth and started to suck on the tight bud.

“Such a little fucking tease out there dancing with another guy. I should spank your ass raw to teach you a lesson,” he whispered in your ear while bringing your hands above your head and trapping them there in his grip.

“Please Josh,” you begged, aching for anything he’d give you.

Josh smirked and quickly flipped you onto your stomach before you could think. Putting a heavy hand on your back, his other hand reached to the edge of your panties. He pulled them down quickly and you felt his hand slap across your ass, surely leaving a mark.

His hand immediately rubbed your ass cheek, soothing the pain, before lifting up and smacking you again.

“Fuck, Josh I need your cock now please,” you moaned out, not evening wanting foreplay.

“I want to fuck you from behind.” You felt Josh pull your hips up so your ass was in the air, propping yourself onto your elbows. He reached over to his bedside table to grab a condom and you heard the package rip as he rolled it onto his hard cock.

Josh settled his hands onto your hips and pushed into you with a deep thrust. Your head shot back and he wrapped his fist through your hair, tugging on the strands with a groan. You couldn’t help but tighten your pussy in response.

“Baby, squeeze my cock like that again and I’m going to come right now,” Josh breathed out, pausing to taking a deep breath before starting to thrust hard.

Your hands gripped the sheets as Josh fucked you, gripping your hips so hard you knew there would be marks in the morning. This position was even deeper than when you’d been on top of him last time, his cock hitting your cervix each time he thrust hard. The pain was perfectly mixed with pleasure and you could barely even keep your eyes open.

“That’s all you got?” you taunted him, knowing it would piss him off. You’d barely even finished the words and his hand slapped hard across your ass again, causing your pussy to pulse.

“Fuck Y/N, you like when I slap your ass, huh?” but he already knew the answer and slapped you again.

“Josh, I’m close,” moaning, you reached between your legs and started to rub your clit.

“Get there, baby.”

Rubbing hard, you were so close as he continued his punishing pace. Josh slapped your ass one more time and it was all it took to push you over the edge. Coming hard, your arms gave out from underneath you and you fell forward, screaming into his sheets.

You felt Josh pick up his pace, thrusting a few more times before filling the condom with his cum. He slowed his pace and collapsed on top of you, nearly suffocating you with his huge frame.

“Josh, I can’t breathe,” you could barely whisper, with your lungs being constricted so much. He chuckled and sat up to pull out, rolling over next to you on the bed.

After a few minutes to catch your breath, you looked up to see him watching you. He reached his hand out and started to trace up and down your spine with his fingertips. Laying your head back down on the bed, you let out a soft moan at the feeling.

“Y/N, will you stay over this time?” he asked quietly, feeling your back tense under his fingers.

“I can’t,” you lied, hoping he wouldn’t push you.

“Bullshit, I know you don’t have class tomorrow because it’s a Saturday. What’s your excuse this time?”

Turning your head so he couldn’t see your face, you tried to think of any good excuse you had to leave. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to stay, you just knew that it wasn’t a good idea. You had finally got comfortable with being alone after your breakup, and you didn’t want to dive into things with Josh. Losing this new found independence scared you.

“C’mon, Y/N, what are you so scared of? It’s just staying the night,” Josh pushed, and you were so close to caving. “We can take a shower.”

That was all it took for you to finally give in, you were a sucker for a hot shower at the end of the night. Turning your head back to him, you gave a shy smile and Josh knew that he had won.

“There she is,” he chuckled with a grin. Sitting up, he reached over and grabbed you before you had a chance.

“Josh, put me down right now!” you tried wiggling out of his grip, knowing you were too heavy to be carried.

You felt a quick slap to your ass, shutting you up from whining anymore. “Y/N, stop being such a girl.”

Setting you down on the edge of his jacuzzi tub, he walked to the shower and started messing with the handles to get the right temperature. You took a moment to really appreciate his naked body. It really was beautiful, with thick muscles that were defined just the right amount. He wasn’t too bulky or disproportionate, especially since he was at least 6’3”.

You had completely zoned out and you heard a cough that snapped you back into reality. “Done checking me out?” Josh said with a smirk on his face.

Normally you would have been embarrassed getting caught checking out a guy, but Josh didn’t make you feel that way. Instead, you licked your lips and stood, walking over to him. Leading him into the shower, you reached up onto your toes and kissed him deeply.

“Not quite,” you whispered, out of breath from the kiss. Sinking down onto your knees, you gripped his hardening cock in your hand.

Looking up at Josh, you saw his eyes close as your licked the tip of him. He let out a soft moan, encouraging you to take him in your mouth. One hand gripped the base of his cock and you reached the other down to massage his balls softly.

Feeling his balls tighten, you released them and reached your hand down between your legs to find yourself wet. Knowing you wanted to come with him, you started to rub your clit while taking his cock deeper in your mouth. “Josh, I’m gonna come,” his eyes snapped down to you as he realized that you were pleasuring yourself.

“Fuckkk Y/N, that’s so hot,” he groaned, not able to take his eyes off of you. Hearing his praise pushed you over the edge and you came, moaning around his cock.

“Baby,” the vibrations from your mouth were just enough and you felt Josh come down your throat in hot spurts.

Taking a second to come down off your high, you sat back on your heels and took deep breaths. After a few seconds, you stood back up and Josh pulled you in for a searing kiss. His hand threaded through your hair and you had no choice but to wrap your arms around his neck.

“How do you continue to surprise me?” Josh whispered in your ear.

Turning you, he grabbed a pump of shampoo and massaged it into your hair. Closing your eyes, you moaned at the pleasure from his hands. Once he thought your hair was clean, Josh tipped your head back and delicately rinsed your strands.

Once your hair was rinsed, you turned to give him a kiss. “Thank you for that,” you murmured shyly.

“Uh, sorry I don’t have any conditioner. I hope that’s ok,” Josh looked at his shelf of shower products nervously.

“No worries, shampoo is fine. Your turn,” You told him, wanting to run your hands through his thick hair.

Josh turned, but really had to tip his head back so you could reach with your height difference. Squirting a little bit of shampoo on your hand, you lathered it for a second and then starting running it through his strands. His hair was so soft and you took your time making sure it was clean.

“Thanks baby,” Josh murmured as he rinsed his head.

After the shower, you stepped out into the brisk air, wishing you could go back under the warm water. Josh brought over a big towel and wrapped you in it, twisting his own around his waist.

“You can dry off and brush your hair. I’m gonna grab you some clothes,” he told you with a kiss to your forehead.

“No, don’t,” grabbing his wrist before he could leave, you knew that this needed to stay casual and about the sex. Not having sleepovers and sharing clothes.

Josh had a smirk on his face, looking down at you hungry for more. “You’re insatiable, you know that right?”

“Only for you,” you giggle, dragging a finger down his hard chest.

Before you knew what was even happening, Josh hauled you off your feet and threw you over his shoulder.

“Wouldn’t have it any other way,” he groaned out with a smack to your ass.

You were lost in the moment, the pleasure and mostly, him.

[headoverhiddles]

Spookshow Baby - Rob Zombie x Reader [Smut]

Synopsis: By good luck or connections, you find yourself backstage at a Zombie show, and Rob can’t take his eyes off you. 

Requested by @plagued-rat​!  “Rob and a younger fan meeting at a show and sleeping together or something along those lines.”  Hope you like it, hun :)

Notes: The personalities depicted are fictional-- I don’t know them, even though I wish I did. 

Is it really that hard to get a beer in this place?

You try to navigate your way through the crowd of people getting their seconds and thirds at the bar when you haven't even had one. You finally get up to the bar, and order your drink. You get a bit of a look from the bartender-- you can't tell if he's judging you, or in awe of you, and honestly? You're okay with either. You'd worn a pretty striking outfit tonight, your favorite that you'd had in the closet lying around for something like this.

It had been an event you'd been looking forward to for months. Your friend Ash has a band, a sort of side project from her main group, called The Haxans. She'd promised you'd be the first to get tickets when they had their first show, and five years later, here you are. Maybe if you had told the bartender you knew the singer, you could've at least gotten your beer faster.

Not only are you excited to support your friend, but her fellow band mate and guitarist, Matt Montgomery, is the current bassist of your favourite rock band. Rob Zombie had been a huge part of your life, since Hellbilly all the way up til now with Celebration Dispenser and the new album coming out sometime this year. You'd never been able to make it to a concert of his yet, as he hadn't played anywhere near you, but you had made no secret of your strong feelings for the front man.

 ---

You hang back near the tech at the Viper Room, and look around as the band starts their set. This place was said to be a hotspot for ghosts.

"Sweet venue, huh?" a voice behind you asks. You turn, and see a guy in a big straw hat. You feel like the voice is familiar, but you can't really tell with the loud noise.

"Yeah. It's haunted, you know."

The guy laughs. "No kidding." He glances up at the band performing. "That's... kinda fitting."

"Right?" you smile. "Somebody's apparently buried in the basement."

"Jesus. Guess that's why Johnny Depp sold it."

“Or maybe he did it," you laugh, sipping your drink.

"That’s sure a theory. So, what brings you here?" the guy goes on. You're used to the line that guys use on you to flirt, but this guy's still keeping his distance. It's interesting.

"I like their music," you say, "And I'm supporting my friend, Ash."

"Ah, cool. I'm here supporting the other guy, Piggy D. I dig their sound, he's got a great fucking gig here."

"Yeah, totally. Along with working for Rob? Super rad."

"Hm. Yeah." The guy gives a little smile, which you don't see. "See you around, maybe." 

"Yeah!" you smile, and when you turn back, the guy's gone. You wish you could place that voice.

 ---

After the show, you head up to the stage to congratulate your friend. "You were awesome!" you say, giving Ash a hug. She kisses your cheek.

"Yeah?"

"For sure.You guys were both amazing." Piggy D comes over, lifting his guitar strap over his head.

"Hey. Who's this?"

"This is my friend who I said would be coming, (y/n)?"

"Oh yeah." Matt gives a lopsided grin, shaking your hand. "Great to finally meet you. How'd we do?"

"You were great," you assure him. Ash nudges him.

"She's a big fan of Zombie."

Matt's black shadowed eyes light up. "Yeah? Here, I'll send you a pass to come say hi to us backstage. We're playing the area in a couple weeks!"

"Oh god," you blush, "That'd be awesome. Thank you so much."

"No problem." He gives you another smile, then sets his guitar down. "Gotta dash." His eyes ascend over you and Ash. "John, Rita! Thanks for coming!"

Ash pulls you to the side. "Oh my god. You're gonna get to meet him."

"I know." You fan yourself.

"He's really chill, don't worry. He'll love you."

"You think so?"

"Look at you! You're hot as fuck girl, I'd sleep with you if I wasn't taken. He'll go crazy for you."

“Ah. I’m too young for him...” 

“You could use a daddy. He’s daddy material. Spookshow daddy for a spookshow baby.” 

You smile, and ignore the unlikelihood of that happening. Still-- you've never been so excited.

 ---

The next Friday night, you find yourself enjoying tickets to the Zombie mosh pit in your home town, backstage pass tucked safely in your back pocket. You're currently waiting for Rob to come out on stage, and are watching the opening band, Palaye Royale.

After the last song of the opener's set, the stage lights begin going crazy, and you hear Rob begin to shout out the beginning of Dead City Radio.

The show is amazing, as you knew it would be. You've never actually heard him talk before, only sing, and when he speaks to the crowd between songs, you can't help but notice how attractive his voice is too. During Get High, Matt notices you, points to you with his pick, and winks.

As everyone cheers after the encore of Dragula and gives the band a good send-off, you slip backstage, coming up to the guards. You show your pass shakily, and they let you through.

"Hey!" Matt calls, and you turn down a long hallway to see the boys coming offstage.

"Best show I've ever seen, hands down," you say, "Other than the Haxans, of course."

Matt laughs, and fist bumps you. Ginger and John walk past you, shooting you friendly smiles. For a metal band, these are a bunch of really good guys. Then Rob comes out, dragging a towel over his face and dreads.

"Fucking high energy crowd!" he exclaims, punching the air as he comes over to you and Matt. "Great night."

"Crowd was on fire. Hey man, this is (y/n)." Matt introduces you.

Rob looks at you for a second, and tilts his head. "Oh yeah. You're the girl I met at the Haxans show, huh?"

You go to say yes, then start to realize how he knows. "You're the guy I talked to!"

"That would be me." He nods, then remembers how much he enjoyed talking to you. It’d be dangerous to see where this went, so after that stunted exchange, he goes to leave. You think of something to turn him around.

"Is that a Creepshow patch?" you ask, finally close enough to his patch jacket to decipher each one. He stops, and looks back.

"Hell yeah. You like Creepshow?"

"Love it!"

"Best one?"

"The Crate."

"Oh, fucking right!" He nods, "I like that crazy hitchhiker one too from the second one..."

"Thanks for the ride lady!" you quote, and he gives a loud belly laugh.

"Damn. You're pretty cool." He rubs his makeup with the towel. "I'm, uh... chilling a bit later tonight at a little after party. Sorry to be a big fuckin' drag, but I'm not one for lots of drinking or anything like Danzig or Manson are. I'll probably bore you to death."

"Then we can be a couple dead people together," you smile, and he smirks down at you.

"Sounds like a plan." He bites his lip, and gives you a once over again. "Follow me."

 ---

When you get to the party, it's pretty much like he said. He immediately wanders off around the outskirts of the crowd, stopping only to shake a few hands and greet a few people. It's a cool venue-- better than any you'd been to. It's dark, black-lit and monster-themed, with all kinds of pop art and horror memorabilia around the place. It's fitting for the band, and the people who hang out with them.

"Hey, man. Who's the lady?" John whispers in his ear. "Saw her backstage."

"Someone I met the other day. Piggy brought her back."

"She's pretty, huh?"

Rob shrugs, trying as usual to appear noncommittal when in fact he was feeling very committal. "I like her. Figured she may be some fun. Could definitely save me from this party." John shakes his head with a smile, going back over to Rita.

You try and crane your neck to see where Rob went, and are startled by a voice behind you. "Hey, you're the girl from the show, right?" You turn to see that it's Rob's drummer, Ginger.

"Yeah," you smile, "Ginger, right?" He shakes your hand heartily, nearly bruising your fingers with a drummer's grip.

"You can call me Kenny! Hey uh, long shot, do you happen to have a shower curtain anywhere accessible?" You frown, and are about to say no, but Ginger's already sensed your answer by your look of alarm. "No worries, I know who to call for one." He gets out his phone, and starts texting his old boss.

There's Rob. He's hiding in the corner like Dracula, away from the bright lights and people. You walk towards him through the crowd, toward where he's taken a seat on a red couch shaped like psychedelic lips. Rob watches you walk over to him, furrowing his brow. You look fucking good. His breath gets heavier as blood rushes down south. He hasn't wanted a girl this bad in years... much less a fan. Play it cool. She’s young enough to be your daughter, or some shit. 

"Dumb party, huh?" he mutters, burying his feelings down deep. You smirk, sitting down beside him and crossing your legs.

"Seems like you really don't wanna be here."

"Well, it's all about the show, you know? What happens afterward is all bullshit, catering to TMZ who peddles articles about stupid shit like drugs and trashing hotel rooms to 15 year olds who read their articles and think that's what being a rock star is all about." You blink. He's not wrong.  "But it's uh... it's a lot better with you here." Come on, Zombie. At least try not to be a black hole of negativity for once?

"Don't worry. I'm not really one for parties either. I mean, they're fun sometimes. But sometimes you just wanna be by yourself, you know?"

"Exactly!"

"Or... with someone you'd have a lot more fun with." He glances up. "Wanna get out of here?" you ask, eyes conveying your intentions. 

"Let's do it." As you walk toward the exit though, Rob pulls you down a hallway, then out the back door to the alley behind the club.

"You pulling a Lugosi on me, Zombie?" you joke. He smirks.

"You want me to?"

"Are you a vampire?"

He runs a hand through his dreads. "I'm more of a werewolf."

"It's a full moon," you tease, pulling him closer to you. He walks you back against the graffiti'd brick wall, and you part your legs to make room for him.

"You sure you wanna do this?" he murmurs, eyes already falling down to your lips behind his sunglasses. By way of reply, you take his sunglasses off, reach around to stuff them in his back pocket, and bring your lips to his. 

Fuck it. His eyes close, and he reaches up to support you properly, urging your to wrap your legs around him as he holds you up. You moan as his ratty jeans provide the perfect grind for you, grazing your inner thighs and grazing where you need him most. His fingers dig into your ass as you reach forward and unzip those jeans, taking out the chunky belt with Svengoolie's face on the buckle. 

His head tilts back as you take him in your hand, and fuck, he has to be inside you. You sink your face into his shoulder as he pushes in, and his face twists up. The way he's glaring at you in pure concentration is driving you wild, and the intense eye contact is turning him on too. He bares his teeth, gnashing as he fucks in again rough, making you gasp.

"Ro-ob..." you manage out.

"Whatdya need?"

"That's... ohmygod,that's so good, fuck, that's so good, faster--"

He gets even more rough, almost animalistic as he drops the cool guy act and just goes ape on your body. One of his hands shoves up your top, unhooking your bra with the precision of a master, and dips down to roll the tips of your nipples with his tongue. You cry out, neither of you caring who can hear you. It's as if he's become the demon he performs as, and it's fucking hot.

"Feelin' good, babe?" he growls.

"So good," you sigh, working down on him. He holds you up with one flexing arm as he keeps your wrists pinned with the other, dipping his head down a little again to leave hickies along the juncture of your neck. "I'm close--"

"Come on, baby, come on," he snarls, "Yeah..." You gasp out his name as his heavy thrusts rock you against the wall, tipping you off the edge and ripping you apart.

He watches you cum with the intense gaze of a hellish predator, and pounds you even harder until you're done. When he's sure you're satisfied, he lets you down, and cums against the wall, bracing himself against it with one hand.

You run a hand through your hair, and lean back. "Christ. There are so many puns I could make right now."

"I like puns," he pants, slipping his sunglasses back on, and with them, into his awkward, chilled out self.

"You fuck like a Superbeast." There's silence as you hold in your giggles, and he stares at you, completely deadpan.

"I fuckin’ regret all of this." You let the giggles burst free, and he takes you under his arm, leading you toward the street. "Come on."

"Where are we going?"

"My torture chamber, for special fans like you."

"I'm not surprised."

"Then maybe, after the torture, we can throw on a movie. Maybe..."

"You got Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine?"

"...Okay, maybe I don't regret this."

He calls his driver, and excitement fills you at the prospect of seeing what his house looks like. Probably as eclectic as the man himself. As the two of you get in, you open your phone to see a text from Ash.

So?????? watchu up to sex kitty

You grin to yourself as you type out a response that's sure to make your friend screech.

Is it necrophilia if I fucked a Zombie...? ;) 

[livingmybestfictionallife]

Live Wire --The Dirt--(8)

Summary: Wren Ledden, Tommy’s best friend from high school, has had a rough life, and she intends to keep the nitty gritty details of her suffrage to herself until the day she dies. Only Tommy has gotten her to open up about a small portion of her troubles, and it’s only Tommy who she trusts with her life. That is until her life gets turned around sneaking into a concert one night...the same night Motley Crue is born.

AN: this chapter I think is shorter than the others by far, so don’t be mad, but another is coming this week!

@prettyyoungandbored, @hot-young-runningfree, @crue-sixx, @oskea93, @dancergirl5527, @thatonemoviefan, @casualcomputerarbiter-blog

To the person who asked to be included on the tag list, for some reason your username is not showing up :( message me and I’ll get that fixed!

Previous Chapters:

One,    Two,    Three,    Four,    Five,    Six,    Seven

For months, Wren was able to keep her job at the public library a secret from the band. They were loud and boisterous people—except Mick—and were sure to embarrass the living hell out of her, or even get her fired if they dared set foot into her work, so it remained a secret until her drunken ass spilled the beans.

“You’ll need a shit ton of fliers if you’re going to even try and draw a crowd,” Wren slurred after a long night of drinking with Tommy and Nikki. Nikki had managed to secure the band a spot performing three nights during next week at the Whiskey-A-Go-Go, and was currently panicked about not bringing in revenue. It took nearly a month of schmoozing his boss to even consider letting their band play, and even then it was allowed on the stipulation of bringing money into the night club.

“Maybe a radio ad!” Tommy gasped, his eyes wide with thrill until Nikki threw a half-eaten piece of bread at Tommy’s face.

“Do we look like we can afford a radio ad?” Nikki laughed.

“Do we look like we can afford fliers?” Tommy asked seriously in response.

“I can print them for free at work!” Wren had exclaimed in an excited tone as she jumped up at her own idea, subsequently tossing whiskey from her glass and onto her skin. And that was the end of her secret of employment. She was, however, able to print a few hundred fliers, and then she and the guys took to the strip at all hours of the day and night to post the news of Mötley Crüe’s debut.

The night before their first performance, the band met to solidify their set list and perfect the tiny details that irked either Nikki or Wren’s ears. Their practice ran short when Lovey sprang through the door and demanded to be included in the band’s “process.”

“What the fuck does that even mean?” Nikki asked as the blonde repositioned the frilly, light blue tank top that hardly covered her braless tits.

“Like her!” she then pointed to Wren. “Come on, which one of you is she fucking to be this close to the action?”

“Watch yourself, lady,” Mick gently warned as Tommy rose from his seat, Nikki tightened his fists, and Wren placed her hands on her hips in defiance.

“Babe,” Vince said in a soft, coaxing voice as he reached tentatively for his girlfriend’s arm.

“No, which one is it? Is she giving it to the old fuck?” Mick held his hands up above his heads, cleansing himself of any involvement in the altercation to come. “Who is it, Wren?” Lovey pressed the girl standing in stark contrast to her. Her done up make up and fanciful clothes looked like something out of a movie compared to the sweaty, tied up hair and bland, tattered, baggy t-shirt that swallowed Wren’s body. Why the hell is she threatened by me? Wren thought as the gap closed between she and Vince’s girlfriend. “Could it be the scrawny drummer? Or maybe it’s the bass playing motherfucker who doesn’t know shit about music.”

“Yeah, and some dumb bitch fawning over a cover band called ‘Rock Candy’ is so much more knowledgeable,” Wren retorted with venom on her tongue and a sting in her bite.

“Wren,” Tommy’s voice acted as a warning, not for her to back off, but for her to quickly make up her mind if Lovey was worth what was to come. When she turned to face the band in an attempt to gauge their opinions on the events unfolding before them, Wren’s eyes met Nikki’s cold stare. His lips were pressed thin and anger overwhelmed his face. Tommy was equally unenthused with the situation, and Mick bestowed a look of concern.

“Listen to them, Wren,” Lovey teased with her pouty lips poked out, “or they may not let you play with their dicks tonight.” The blonde’s big eyes were opened even wider as she anticipated Wren’s response; however, it was Nikki’s voice that cut through the tense silence.

“Vince, get a hold of your mutt,” Nikki shouted more at Lovey than to Vince. A defensive look flashed from his eyes as his gaze met Wren, only to see the frustration that coated her appearance.

“Stay out of it, Nikki! I don’t need your help!” Wren snapped with ice in her veins at the same moment Vince’s girlfriend retaliated.

“Fuck you, Sixx!” she yelled. “You can call me whatever the fuck you want; it doesn’t change the fact that you’re just too blind to see she’s just a stray you three let in for an easy fuck!” Her comment sat uneasily on all of the men’s shoulders, however they were hesitant to speak as they internalized the bitter, cold, and dissevered tone that had hissed at Nikki moments ago.

“The difference between you and I is that I don’t have to flash my money or my tits to get attention from a single one of these guys, and I still have more respect from all of them than you’ll see from any man in your pitiful, entitled fucking life.” Tommy couldn’t help the snorted chuckle that escaped his lungs as Wren finished her statement. Mick had a wide smile spread with his eyes narrowed and he nodded in agreement with Wren’s words. Vince, who had been hesitant to take sides in this argument faded to the background without a word in favor of either woman, and Nikki remained a statue by his bass amp as he continued to mull over the sting of Wren’s personal attack.

Lovey took a step forward and positioned herself so that she stood with less than an inch separating Wren’s chest from her own. Everyone in the room noticed Lovey ease up onto her toes so that her lips could be level with Wren’s ear due to their distinctive height difference. Lovey’s voice was a chilling breeze as she spoke so softly not a single person could make out a word that traveled from her lips except for Wren. As Wren stood flatfooted, back straight, posture erect, she stared forward and refused to bring a single bit of the emotions swirling within her to her face. “There’s nothing wrong with making up for lost time,” she began, “but will any of them really replace the taste of Clay?” Wren swallowed hard as she tried to suppress the lump that manifested so quickly in her throat. Her body became immobile as her veins turned into frozen rivers and her skin burned as hot as the surface of the sun. From across the room, Tommy immediately noticed all color wash from Wren’s face. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest so rapidly she thought her heartbeat alone could set the pace for the band’s next song. Wren could hear her name being called out, and she could see Tommy, Mick, and Nikki’s lips moving, but the voices were so distant, so severed from the bodies they came from, she ignored them altogether.

“How the fuck do you know about that?” she asked lowly only for the blonde to huff, flip her hair over her shoulder, and turn away. “How the fuck do you know that?!” Wren’s voice echoed even louder as she lunged after the much shorter woman and spun her around with a single, firm grip of her shoulder.

“It doesn’t matter how I know,” Lovey flippantly said with an aura of innocence surrounding her, “it just matters that I do.” In a blinding rage, Wren threw Lovey to the ground, only to be surprised that the other woman had grabbed a fistful of Wren’s hair and pulled her down as well. Lovey tried to pull Wren’s hair, but found herself curling up into a fetal position as Wren directed kick after kick and punch after punch to the girl’s ribs. Seeing this as an opportunity, Wren crawled on top of Lovey, used her knees to pin the girl’s limbs to her sides, and then landed two punches to the face before she felt Tommy’s arms slip around her.

“Get the fuck off me, Tommy!” Wren shouted before she slipped away from his grasp, shoved him away from her, and made another lunge at Lovey, who had taken her moment of freedom to stand and make a bolt for the door.

“Nik!” Tommy yelled out as Wren crossed his path. He and Mick had both set aside their instruments at the beginning of the girls’ argument, in case something like this were to happen. To Lovey’s fortune, Nikki was able to intercept Wren by snaking an arm around her hips, spinning her around, and flipping her over his shoulder.

“Put me down, Nikki!” she shouted. “Damn it, Sixx! Put me the fuck down!”

Ignoring Wren’s protests, Nikki called out first to Vince, then to the others, “Take her home, we’ll finish practicing tomorrow.” As he walked toward the back most room of the apartment—his room—he tried to ignore Wren’s angry fists pounding into his back, he tried to hold her still as best he could without getting himself kicked in the face, and he hoped she would calm down enough to talk to him instead of scream like she had done since the second Tommy tried to pull her away from Lovey.

Once inside his room, Nikki slammed the door shut and flipped Wren onto his bed so that her back landed against the mattress, forcing her body to bounce up like a ragdoll. He flicked the light on and stared at her with passionate anger manifesting in a steaming ball in his stomach. “What the fuck was that about?” he asked sharply as he stood over her. Wren still laid with her back against the mattress and her elbows propped up to support her, her eyes casting up in an angry scowl at Nikki.

“None of your business,” she retorted.

“Bullshit! I was just trying to help you out there!” Nikki stated as he took another step closer to where she lay.

“I don’t need anyone to fight my battles for me,” she hissed, “let alone you!”

“What the fuck does that mean?” Nikki’s eyes continued to peer down at Wren as she laid all too comfortably on his bed with a defensive arrogance that both pissed him off and intrigued him.

“You don’t fucking know me, Sixx,” she hissed. “You don’t get the right to try and defend me when you have no idea what the fuck is going on.”

“You don’t let anyone get to know you!” Nikki snapped. He’d been hanging around Wren for long enough to know that she knew more of anyone else’s secrets than anyone knew of hers, and tonight just proved it. “You’re best fucking friend is out there and he doesn’t even know what the fuck is going on!”

“It’s no one else’s damn business!” Wren’s voice was sharp as she pulled herself to her knees and stared at Nikki with her eyebrows narrowed and her jaw taught.

“It is when you make it our business,” he retorted with his eyes narrowed in on her. Wren stood from her position on the bed and placed herself directly in front of Nikki.

“I didn’t make it everyone’s business! That bitch started all of this shit—” Before Wren could reach the end of her defense, Nikki’s voice interrupted her and turned her own words into a noose around her throat.

“Who is Clay?” Silence followed his question as both of their chests heaved in anger and the two stared into each other’s eyes. Each set of orbs, either hazel or grey reflected the same angsty, impatient, and frustrated glare as if the two souls were connected in their own misery. Nikki quickly noticed the subtle changes in Wren’s posture. Her shoulders tightened, her jaw clenched, her entire body turned into a stiff, unflexing wax replica of Wren, and all sense of emotion—hope, anger, hatred, fear—abandoned her otherwise pleasant face. After an overly long moment of anxiously staring down at the woman, Nikki folded his arms over his chest and widened his stance. Wren tugged at her lower lip with her teeth and Nikki saw for the first time, a—100% without a shadow of a doubt—true sign of vulnerability in Wren Ledden. However, in that single action—her holding her lip between her teeth in anxious terror—she stepped forward, jammed her index finger into Nikki’s chest, and with a quivering voice that was caught in her throat spoke.

“Don’t you ever say that fucking name around me ever again.” Without needing to be prompted, Nikki nodded, gently pulled Wren’s arms past his sides until she wrapped them around his torso, and softly placed his hands against her. One rested in the middle of her back and the other lay gingerly against the back of her head. He tried his best to ignore the warm pools of tears that gathered against his shirt and soaked into his skin, and he tried not to imagine the infinite sadness that her face could impose—her lips pulled tight in strain with the indention of her teeth lining her lower lip, he cheeks beet red and streaked with agonizing tears, her eyes puffy and hopeless—but he failed in this endeavor.

Nikki noticed the door to his room creep open ever so slightly to reveal Tommy’s curious expression begging to know if his friend was okay. He didn’t expect to see Wren wrapped up in Nikki’s arms. He didn’t expect to hear her soft sobs—a sound not even his ears had experienced before—but more than anything else, he didn’t expect to see a lonely, solitaire tear slide down Nikki’s face.

Continue Reading: Next Chapter

[zen3to5]

J/H 3-23: Backstage Pass

This was a tricky one to re-write; the changes to "Trials of Michael Kelso" really start to factor in here, and that will lead into the season finale, but those changes meant that Hyde - a very guarded character - had to express certain things without saying them. It was a fun needle to thread, and I hope it worked out.

FF.Net AO3

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SHOW TITLE   INT. RADIO STATION - DAY   WFPP control room, early afternoon. The ON AIR light over the booth door is on. DONNA is in the booth, unable to stop grinning like a dork as she reads off the FARM REPORT.   DONNA: And in pork belly news, prices have risen to nearly 54 cents per pound. Mmm-hmm, bacon!   ERIC enters the control room, waving when he sees Donna. She waves back.   DONNA (cont’d): And I’ll be back at 3, 4, and 5 o’ clock with more updates. Until then, keep on farmin’!   The ON AIR light shuts off. Donna exits the booth and crosses to a frowning Eric.   DONNA (cont’d): Hey.   ERIC: Donna, you’re doing the rest of the farm reports? I thought we were going to the movies.   DONNA: Well, Janice called in sick, so...   She shrugs as she trails off and goes to work sorting records. Eric’s frown deepens.   ERIC: Okay, Donna, look. I think we need to talk. I think this job is really cutting into your Eric time.   Donna stops and looks at Eric, half-amused, half-annoyed.   DONNA: My “Eric time?”   ERIC: And I’m very concerned about your diminishing Eric time, because it directly affects me, you know. (beat) Um, I’m Eric.   The door opens, and MAX enters, tickets in hand. He crosses to Donna.   MAX: Hey, thanks for staying late again, Donna. You know, you might just turn this into a full-time gig.   ERIC: Hey, I’m her full-time gig.   Max gives him an appraising look.   MAX: Yeah. (to Donna) Here’s those tickets. Enjoy the show.   He hands Donna the tickets and exits.   ERIC: Tickets?   DONNA: Yeah. I know I’ve been working a lot lately and I wanted to make it up to you, so I got Max to hook us up with Ted Nugent tickets for everybody.   ERIC: The Motor City Madman? No way!   Donna presents him with the tickets, and he takes them in awe.   ERIC (cont’d): Oh, my disappointment is melting into a mixture of excitement and guilt.   DONNA: Great. That’s what I was going for.   She gives him a quick kiss, then gets back to work.

MAIN CREDITS   BUMPER   INT. FORMAN BASEMENT - DAY   The next day. Eric and Donna sit on the couch, Eric’s arm around Donna’s shoulders. “Cat Scratch Fever” by TED NUGENT plays on the radio.   HYDE comes down the stairs and takes a seat in his chair.   HYDE: Hey.   DONNA: Hey. Ready for the Nuge tonight?   HYDE: Oh, yeah. A night of business and pleasure.   He cackles as he opens up a magazine.   DONNA: What’s the business?   HYDE: Check it out: me and Fez, we’re gonna sell counterfeit T-shirts after the show. I figure with the original concert T’s going for 15 dollars, we sell ours for ten and turn a 50-dollar investment into 250 bucks.   DONNA: How entrepreneurial of you.   ERIC: You and Fez, huh? So you’re taking a break from corrupting cheerleaders to revisit the old standby of exploiting foreign exchange students?   HYDE: Hey, I get Jackie mixed up in anything that involves clothing, next thing you know I’m out my last cent smuggling discount Jordache in from Madison.   He turns slightly away, overly interested in his magazine. Eric and Donna share a look.   ERIC: (to Hyde) Seriously, man. What’s going on with you and Jackie?   HYDE: (warning) I keep telling everyone, nothing.   ERIC: And yet you keep doing not-nothing. (adopts stern, “fatherly” voice) “Come, come, my wayward orphan – confess your feelings.”   Hyde flips his magazine down in frustration.   HYDE: Fine. You wanna know what’s going on? (beat) You know that episode of Wild Kingdom where the pilot fish hangs around the school of sharks? We can’t get rid of the pilot fish, so someone’s gotta show her how to be badass.   Eric scoffs and Donna chuckles.   DONNA: Well, if the shark had any other ideas, he might want to make a move, or else the pilot fish might just go back to the big, dumb Kelso fish.   HYDE: (scoffs) Yeah, right.   He goes back to his magazine.   DONNA: Really, Hyde, I think he and Jackie are gonna get back together.   HYDE: Trust me, that door’s closed. There’s no way Jackie’s going out with Kelso again.   CUT TO:   INT. CAR - DAY   The inside of a Lincoln, parked in a random lot. KELSO sits in the driver’s seat, and JACKIE in the passenger’s seat. “Fins” by Jimmy Buffett plays on the car radio.   KELSO: I want you to go out with me again.   JACKIE: What?   KELSO: Look, I know we were gonna stick to being just friends, but it’s been going so well that I think we should give us another try as a couple.   Jackie looks skeptical. Undeterred, Kelso leans a little closer.   KELSO (cont’d): We can start slow. Try one date, see how it goes. And it’ll be full of all the romantic magic you love. And I know magic.   He waves his hands around, turning the flailing into the thumb removal magic trick.   JACKIE: (giggling) Michael, I don’t know.   KELSO: Come on, Jackie. Just one date. Please?   He gives her a big puppy-dog face.   JACKIE: (laughs) All right, Michael. You win. So, where are we going on our second first date?   KELSO: The Ted Nugent concert.   JACKIE: Michael, we’re all going to the Ted Nugent concert.   KELSO: Hey, a date with all our friends there! Now how’s that for magic?   He beams at Jackie, who shakes her head and smiles.   CUT TO:   INT. FORMAN KITCHEN - EVENING   Later that day. With the kids out at the show, it’s poker night with the Pinciottis. RED, MIDGE, KITTY, and BOB all sit around the kitchen table with cards and drinks.   BOB: You know – (points to Midge) Our anniversary’s coming up. Eighteen years. I can still remember the first time I saw Midgie. She was the tallest girl in chemistry class.   MIDGE: And Bob was the shortest boy. But what he lacked in height, he made up for in shortness.   The Pinciottis beam at each other. Red turns away to hide his eye roll.   KITTY: Red, do you remember when we first met?   RED: Like it was yesterday.   He leans back, and we cut to:   INT. DANCE HALL – NIGHT   FLASHBACK. A USO dance is underway, with great swing music and plenty of punch. A YOUNG RED stands near the punch bowl with a few army officers and navy sailors, spiking the punch with rum.   RED (v.o.): It was 1952 at a USO dance. Me and my buddies were blowing off steam. And suddenly, I saw her.   Red looks up from the punch and sees a YOUNG KITTY, bathed in flattering light, across the dance floor.   RED (v.o.): She was the most beautiful girl in the joint.   A MARINE gets between them as he leers over Kitty.   MARINE: Hiya, dame. Wanna shake a leg?   KITTY: No, thanks.   She turns away, but the marine spins her back around by the arm.   MARINE: It wasn’t a question.   KITTY: I think it was, mister.   Red come up behind them and taps the marine on the shoulder.   RED: (to army man) Mind if I cut in?   MARINE: It’s none of your business, bell-bottom.   He shoves Red back.   RED: I think you could use a little punch, leatherneck.   He slugs the marine good, taking him to the floor. Red stands tall and proud. His teeth actually shine in his smile.   Kitty scowls at him, and when she talks, it’s the voice of PRESENT-DAY KITTY coming out.   KITTY: Oh, you’re in big trouble, Red Forman.   RED: Huh?   CUT TO:   INT. FORMAN KITCHEN – EVENING   The flashback’s come crashing down. Kitty glares at Red across the table.   KITTY: I said, you’re in big trouble, Red Forman. You’re thinking of some other girl. That’s not how we met at all!   Red frowns in thought.   RED: Oh. (beat) Oh!   He looks over at his wife. She is one unhappy lady.   RED (cont’d): Uh-oh.   They continue to lock eyes across the table, while the Pinciottis try to be inconspicuous.   CUT TO:   INT. AUDITORIUM – NIGHT   Minutes before the concert, a packed house. The gang take up an entire row of seats in the balcony: Hyde, FEZ, Donna, Eric, Jackie, and Kelso. Fez has a large cardboard box balanced in his lap.   FEZ: (to Donna and Eric) Hey, you guys want to see our counterfeit T-shirts?   He reaches into the box and lifts up a black T-shirt with “Tad Nugent” written across the top. Fez smiles, but Hyde stirs; it’s the first time he’s seen the shirts.   HYDE:  Fez, it’s Ted Nugent.   FEZ:  Uh-huh. Tad Nugent.   HYDE: No, man. I’m saying “Ted.”   FEZ: I’m saying “Tad” too.   HYDE: No, you’re not. It says “Tad.”   FEZ: I know it says “Tad.” I’m the one who put it on there. I don’t know why we’re fighting. What’s the problem here?   HYDE: Because the shirt says “Tad!”   FEZ: Exactly!   HYDE: But the “A” should be an “E.”   FEZ: Well, that’s not how you spell “Tad.”   HYDE:  No. That’s how you spell “Ted.”   It finally clicks. Fez gains a million-mile stare as he slowly replaces the shirt in the box.   FEZ: Oh...   But there’s no time to dwell on that. The lights dim and the crowd – including the gang – rise to their feet and erupt into cheers as the concert begins.   BUMPER   INT. FORMAN LIVING ROOM - NIGHT   Red sits on the couch, deep in thought. Unfortunately, Bob and Midge are sat right next to him, staring and interrupting those thoughts.   RED: You know, it’s hard enough trying to remember this without you two staring at me.   BOB: Hey, I could hypnotize you.   MIDGE: I know! You could retrace your steps. What did you have for breakfast?   Red is spared having to answer that by Kitty’s march through the living room, an empty wine glass in hand. Red stands.   RED: Oh, hi, Kitty. Uh... you know, (laughs) I was just thinking about how much I love you -   KITTY: So you remember yet?   RED: Yes! (beat) No.   Kitty sets he glass down and puts her hands on her hips.   KITTY: It was November 17, 1953, at a USO dance. I remember because it was the most important moment of my life!   RED: (beat) Really, Kitty? Because in November 1953, I was in Korea. (sits) So I’m pretty sure that you were talking to someone else.   Kitty tries gamely to maintain surety.   KITTY: Are you sure? Maybe – maybe you came home for the weekend.   Red fixes her with a hard stare.   RED: Not from Korea.   KITTY: Oh, great. Now, neither one of us knows how we met. Well, you better get your thinking cap on, mister!   She retrieves her wine glass and disappears into the kitchen as Red lets out a long sigh.   BUMPER   INT. AUDITORIUM – NIGHT   We rejoin the concert just as it ends and spares the accountants any licensing concerns. Everyone is still on their feet, making noise.   EMCEE (v.o.) Thank you, Wisconsin! Good night!   In a long pan, the gang all applaud and (ad-lib) remark on the incredible show they’ve just seen. We end on Jackie and Kelso turning in toward each other.   JACKIE: God, Michael, this was the most magical night!   KELSO: You know, during the concert, I rewrote some of Ted Nugent’s songs with your name in it. Okay, which one do you like better: “Cat Scratch Jackie” or “Jackie Scratch Fever?”   JACKIE: I love them both!   They both laugh with joy and hurry up the aisle, hand in hand. Hyde looks after them. His shades can’t hide his shock.   Fez waves a hand in front of Hyde’s eyes.   FEZ: Hyde? Hello? We have crap to sell?   He elbows his way past Hyde and heads up on the other end of the row. Hyde follows slowly, as if in a trance.   Donna and Eric remain by the seats, taking in the ambience.   ERIC: What do you wanna do now?   DONNA: Uh... oh! We can go around back and watch the tour buses from behind the chain-link fence.   ERIC: Great idea!   They start to exit, but Max comes down the aisle and joins them in their row. He has a backstage pass around his neck.   MAX: Hiya, kids. Enjoy the show?   ERIC: Are you kidding? I’m deaf!   Max smiles and nods.   ERIC: You can say that again, Max!   Max sits down.   MAX: Well, you know, I’m starting to come down... I mean, I’m getting tired. (to Donna) Uh, why don’t you take this?   He removes his backstage pass and hands it to Donna. She and Eric look at it as if it were the Holy Grail (or something.)   DONNA: Oh, my God... a backstage pass...   ERIC: Oh, yeah! (beat) Oh, too bad there’s only one, huh?   DONNA: I’ll be back in five minutes, I swear.   ERIC: You’re going?   DONNA: Well, don’t you want me to?   ERIC: (beat) Of course I do! That’s why I said, “oh, you’re going! Yay!”   DONNA: You’re the best!   She gives him a kiss and rushes off.   ERIC: (to Donna’s wake) Yeah, that’s... (to Max) Yeah, that’s good. That’s nice for her.   MAX: You’ll never see her again. That’s how I lost my first wife. Damn you, Donny Osmond!   He shakes his head violently as Eric looks down at the stage, troubled.   FADE TO BLACK   COMMERCIAL   BUMPER   EXT. AUDITORIUM - NIGHT   Just outside the exit. The concert may be over, but people aren’t in a hurry to leave. At the base of the stairs, Hyde and Fez try to hawk their counterfeit merchandise. Shockingly, no one’s going for the “Tad” T’s.   Fez is at least giving it the ol’ college try; Hyde seems distracted.   FEZ: T-shirts! Get your crappy, misspelled T-shirts! Can’t enjoy the after-party without your crappy, misspelled T-shirts!   HYDE: (to Fez) I rue the day I took you under my wing, my foreign friend. I should’ve gone with Jackie on this.   Fez looks over at Hyde and pouts.   FEZ: Oh, yes... Jackie, who kicked Fort Anderson’s ass. Jackie, so good at graffiti. Jackie, with the bobby pins for picking locks. Well, I am not your perfect student Jackie, Hyde! She is getting back together with Kelso, so you will have to settle for me!   He stomps his foot and turns away. Behind his shades, Hyde rolls his eyes.   HYDE: They’re not back together, all right? Jackie’s learned enough now that she’s not gonna go back to a buffoon like Kelso.   Speak of the devil: Kelso and Jackie come up behind Hyde, happy as clams. At least, they are until Jackie notices a puddle of vomit in front of them.   JACKIE: Eww! Michael, someone blew chunks.   Without missing a beat, Kelso takes the Tad T from Fez, spreads it out over the vomit, and offers his arm to Jackie.   KELSO: May I escort you across the vomit, my lady?   Jackie smiles and links arms with him.   JACKIE: Why thank you, good sir.   Heads held high, they walk across the T-shirt and proceed on their way.   Hyde glares after them. Fez turns to Hyde, rather smug.   FEZ: So... the buffoon makes his move. And she will go back to him. And then who will you have? No one – but Fez.   He retrieves another T-shirt from the box and holds it up for passersby to see.   FEZ: Todd Nugent! Get your Todd Nugent T-shirts!   HYDE: Fez?   He beckons Fez closer, and Fez leans in.   HYDE (cont’d): IT’S TED!   TWO POLICEMEN appear behind Fez.   POLICEMAN: Is there a problem here?   Hyde and Fez look at the cops, look at each other, and break for it, leaving the T-shirts behind. The cops take off after them.   CUT TO:   INT. BACKSTAGE – NIGHT   The life of a rock star. TED NUGENT and his band kick back after their show, a bevy of beautiful women hanging on each of them. Amps and guitars rest against the walls and furniture.   Into this den of cool steps Donna, jaw hanging open. Ted notices her first.   TED: Hey, who ordered the redhead?   Two of the band raise their hands.   DONNA: (to Ted) Oh, my God, you’re looking at me. (to the band) Ted Nugent is looking at me. (to Ted) Stop looking at me! I’m Donna. I am, like, your biggest fan.   She offers her hand, and Ted takes it.   TED: Hi, Donna. Meet the other groupies. (pointing each one out) This is Blonde Girl, the other Blonde Girl, Tall Girl, and the Tall Blonde Girl.   DONNA: Well, actually, I’m not a groupie. I mean, I love you, but I work at a rock radio station – WFPP, “The Sound!” I do the farm report. It’s like, a huge day for pork bellies. (beat) You don’t care. Sorry.   Ted stands and crosses to Donna.   TED: Oh, you work for a radio station? You wanna do an interview or somethin’?   DONNA: Oh, my God. An interview would be amazing. Do you have, um, a piece of paper and one of those, uh...   TED: Pens.   DONNA: Pens. Exactly!   One of the band hands Donna a notepad and pen.   DONNA: You are the best. (to Ted) Okay, first question... um... uh... oh, my God, why are you so great?   BUMPER   INT. AUDITORIUM - NIGHT   Eric and Max are still up in the balcony, both sitting, Max still coming down. A JANITOR stands impatiently to their left with a mop and bucket.   ERIC: It’s not just tonight, you know. Yeah, she’s been blowing me off more and more. And she thinks I’ll take it, but I won’t. Uh-uh.   MAX: Yeah, that’s how it starts. You say you won’t take it; you say you’ll be firm. And then the Mormon smoothie comes to town...   A haunted look comes to Max’s eye, enough to give Eric a chill. The janitor, on the other hand, is unfazed.   JANITOR: Can you two lift your feet please?   Somewhat grudgingly, Eric lifts his feet. Max doesn’t; he’s so lost in memories and his trip, he probably didn’t hear. Eric manages, awkwardly, to pull Max’s legs up as the janitor passes through.   CUT TO:   INT. BACKSTAGE - NIGHT   Some time later. Donna has taken Ted’s chair, while the Nuge plays a section of “Strangehold” on his guitar. As he finishes, Donna leaps up, applauding. When she realizes she’s the only one reacting, she’s flummoxed.   DONNA: What is wrong with you people? Come on! That was great! What, are you on dope?   They all stare back her with glazed expressions.   DONNA: Oh. (to Ted) Well, I better go. My boyfriend’s waiting. Thank you so much for the interview, Ted.   They shake hands again.   TED: You’re very welcome. You wanna stick around? I’ll let you touch the guitar.   DONNA: Really? All right! (beat) Wait, you mean your guitar guitar, right?   TED: Yeah.   DONNA: All right!   She reaches out and strokes his guitar.   CUT TO:   EXT. AUDITORIUM - NIGHT   Far down the auditorium wall, with restroom doors. Hyde, coming down from a full run, ducks behind a tree and leans back against the wall to catch his breath.   Jackie and Kelso stroll up the sidewalk, their arms still linked. Jackie has a small bag of popcorn. They don’t see Hyde, but he sees them.   JACKIE: Michael, I have to say, this really has been a magically romantic day.   They look at each other and smile. As they reach the restroom doors, Kelso stops. He takes his arm back, holds up a finger for “one sec,” and steps inside. Jackie sighs contentedly and looks out at the night.   Hyde steps out from behind the tree. Jackie yelps and jumps back, her popcorn flying everywhere. She sees it’s Hyde and relaxes, though she still clutches at her chest.   JACKIE: Steven, you scared me.   HYDE: (points to restroom) What’s going on with you and Kelso?   JACKIE: Oh. Well...   She giggles. Coyly, she steps in toward Steven.   JACKIE (cont’d): Steven, should I give Michael a second chance? I mean, Donna says “no,” and I didn’t think I wanted to be more than friends, but he really has changed. He’s so different. And we’re different together. I felt that tonight.   She chuckles to herself and kicks at the sidewalk.   JACKIE (cont’d): I dunno. What do you think?   Hyde regards her coolly.   HYDE: If that’s your call, make the play.   Jackie beams and starts to pace with joy.   HYDE (cont’d): Yeah, I mean, you made the same call after he burned your house, and that worked out, right?   Jackie stops pacing, looks to Hyde, confused.   HYDE (cont’d): Oh, and when he first got his van, and you thought that was a step toward maturity, then he used it for nailin’ Laurie. Real good call there.   JACKIE: What are you saying?   HYDE: Oh, are you not getting it? Maybe it’d help if I waved around some pom-poms and used a cheer with all one-syllable words.   Jackie takes a step back; it’s been a long time since she’s seen Hyde like this.   JACKIE: Steven, you’re being rude.   HYDE: Sorry. It’s my nature to be rude to stupid crap.   JACKIE: (hurt) Steven!   HYDE: What, I’m wrong? When Kelso burns you over and over, tells you he’s changed, and because he kisses your ass and buys you crap, you fall for it every time?   He gives her a chance to retort; she can’t.   HYDE (cont’d): I had you figured right in the first place, but I thought maybe you weren’t that square and shallow, so I gave you a shot. Turns out you haven’t learned a thing from me.   He starts to walk away.   JACKIE: Steven, what are you talking about? What was I supposed to learn?   Hyde stops and whirls around.   HYDE: To think! Maybe then you’d see life ain’t one of your Nancy Drew, Disney World, unicorn fantasies. That second chances are for losers who can’t figure out that people don’t change, and if they screw you once, they screw you every time.   He advances on her as he raves. Jackie doesn’t back up.   JACKIE: That’s not true! People do change! You’ve changed! At least, I thought you had, from when you were such a jerk when we first met. But I know Michael has, because I have thought about this, a lot, and I didn’t just believe that things were different this time. And by the way, Steven? I’m the one who was “screwed” and hurt and betrayed. What would a scruffy orphan know about that?   Hyde’s face doesn’t change, but Jackie knows immediately she’s gone too far. Finally, she takes a step back, her hands over her mouth.   JACKIE (cont’d): Steven, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean -   HYDE: (cold) You wanna know what I think? I think you can marry that moron for all I care. Next time you get burned, find someone else to cry to.   He walks away. Jackie doesn’t follow him, not even with her eyes. She just stares ahead at the ground, trying not to cry.   Kelso comes out of the bathroom, all smiles. He moseys up behind Jackie and puts a hand on her shoulder.   KELSO: Hey there. So, the concession stand’s still open, and I think they were selling cherry slurpees.   Jackie looks up at him, eyes shining with tears. She pulls away from his hold and stomps off. Kelso’s jaw drops.   KELSO (cont’d): Okay, we’ll get watermelon!   That doesn’t bring her back. Kelso throws up his hands and runs after her.   Further up the sidewalk, Hyde stands alone. He rips his sunglasses off, clenching them tight in his fist as he kicks at the auditorium wall.   The policemen come up the way Jackie and Kelso left, each of them holding Fez by an arm between them. Fez is handcuffed.   FEZ: (to Hyde) “Sell some T-shirts,” you said. “No risk,” you said. I’m going to jail, you son of a bitch!   They all pass by. Hyde looks after Jackie and Kelso briefly, then pops his shades back on and goes after Fez.   CUT TO:   INT. FORMAN LIVING ROOM – NIGHT   The Pinciottis have gone. Kitty sits on the couch, flipping through an old photo album. Red enters from the kitchen with two small drinks.   KITTY: (not looking up) Oh, Red, it’s killing me that I can’t remember.   RED: Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah, me too. (sits next to her) But I’ll tell you one thing I remember: I remember that you loved Manhattans.   He hands her one of the drinks.   KITTY: Oh, that’s right. That’s what I used to drink. (laughs) Oh, I haven’t had a Manhattan in twenty years.   She and Red clink glasses and have a sip. It’s a GOOD Manhattan.   KITTY (cont’d): Oh, boy, that takes me back. Oh. Oh...   The lightbulb goes off in her head. We cut to:   INT. DANCE HALL – NIGHT   FLASHBACK. Young Kitty is sat at a table with A FRIEND, a row of glasses in front of her. She downs one Manhattan and accepts another from the WAITER.   KITTY: (to waiter) Keep ‘em coming. (to friend) Oh, my. I’m as loose as a goose. (laughs)   Back by the punch bowl, young Red and HIS FRIEND stand with shot glasses in hand.   RED: Okay, let’s do it.   They clink glasses, down their shots, set the glasses down, and drop their pants. On their boxers are written the words “HELLO LADIES.”   Kitty, her back to them, doesn’t see the mooning. She stands up as well as she can, all giggles.   KITTY: Upsy-daisy. I need to use the ladies’ -   She turns to head for the restroom but collides with Red’s ass and falls down on hers. It doesn’t damper her mood any; she falls into a fresh round of laughter. Red turns to look at her, hiking his pants back up as he does so.   RED: You all right?   KITTY: I bumped into your butt and fell down! (laughs)   RED: Sorry. My pants were...   He helps her to her feet, and they look at each other – really look at each other. Red’s grip turns into a handshake.   RED (cont’d): I’m Red Forman.   KITTY: How do you do, Red Forman? I’m Kitty Sigurdson.   CUT TO:   INT. FORMAN LIVING ROOM – NIGHT   The present. Neither Red nor Kitty can believe it.   RED: You bumped into my butt and fell down? And that’s how we met?   KITTY: I’m afraid so.   RED: (beat) Well, what do you say, if the kids ever ask, we go with the “I punched out a marine” story.   KITTY: And I wasn’t drinking, I was reading to the blind.   RED: Sounds good.   They clink glasses, take a sip, and look at the album.   CUT TO:   EXT. PARKING LOT – NIGHT   The auditorium lot. The concert crowds have finally dispersed; the Vista Cruiser is alone in the lot. Eric sits on the front of the car, listening to the radio through the cracked windows.   Donna comes around the corner. She races to Eric when she sees him, and he slides off the car.   DONNA: Oh, my God, Eric, I have so much to tell you! I actually met Ted Nugent, and I got an interview, and I know I said I’d be right back, but – it was so exciting!   ERIC: Oh, yeah. My night too. I met the janitor, and I got to hear your boss talk about the sexual magnetism of Donny Osmond. Rock n’ roll!   His tone isn’t lost on Donna.   DONNA: Eric, you’re mad at me for going backstage to meet Ted Nugent?   ERIC: No, no. I’m mad at you because you ditched me.   DONNA: I didn’t ditch you. This was Ted Nugent! This was a huge opportunity for me. So, come Monday, I don’t have to just talk about the farm report. I can talk about the interview, like an interviewer.   ERIC: Well, you know what, Donna? All I can say is that my mom never would have bailed on my dad like that.   DONNA: Yeah, I know. But they’re married.   ERIC: (beat) Okay. Okay, forget it. Let’s just forget it. You’re sorry – everything’s fine.   DONNA: I never said I was sorry.   ERIC: But... you are, right?   DONNA: I shouldn’t have to be.   Eric has no reply.   He’s spared having to make one by Hyde and Fez coming around the corner, Hyde’s arm around Fez’s shoulders.   FEZ: I am free! At last, I am free! They were going to charge me with selling counterfeit merchandise, but Hyde convinced them that since Ted Nugent was misspelled, it wasn’t really counterfeit, it was just stupid. My ignorance of American youth culture finally pays off.   Hyde notices Donna’s pass.   HYDE: Donna, man, did you get to meet the Nuge?   DONNA: Yeah, it was awesome! I was right there with him! The Nuge!   The flash of excitement vanishes when Donna turns back to Eric.   DONNA (cont’d): So can we go now?   Jackie and Kelso come up from the other direction. Jackie has her arms folded and her head down, and Kelso is completely lost.   KELSO: Well, damn, Jackie, just tell me where the magic went!   They stop when they see the rest of the gang. Jackie glares at Hyde, who glares back. Eric and Donna stare each other down. Fez and Kelso shift uncomfortably.   The driver’s side back door opens on the Vista Cruiser. Max sticks his head out. He’s still not fully down.   MAX: Hey, kids? I can’t find my car.   He looks up at them pleadingly. They all start to look in different directions for his car.   FADE TO BLACK   CREDITS   EXT. AUDITORIUM - NIGHT   Just outside the exit. The box of Tad Nugent T-shirts is right where Hyde and Fez left it.   Ted Nugent himself walks up the sidewalk, dressed down from the show. He spies the box and takes a look inside. He holds one of the shirts up to his chest; it seems like a good fit. Ted shrugs, tosses the shirt over his shoulder, picks up the box, and carries on.   END.

[sugarplum-lane]

Midnight Patrol (and other childish activities) (bubbles/noodle)

[finderskeepersff]

40.

Waking out of the bedroom I screamed laughing “why though!?” I shouted over the music “because its a good ass song!” Jasmine shouted back to me “and it woke you up out of that bed, we can wake the whole block too. I wish you could drink” Jasmine has been on one hundred all week, I have well and truly been spoilt, never in my life did I think I would be in a mansion in the Hollywood hills, well I will be here for two weeks so we rented it out. As soon as we arrived we just met the owner and paid cash, I did think the owner would think weird of us for having that but he was none the wiser. I said it was Jasmine’ birthday so he was ok. He owns like so many places here, so Jasmine and I are living with the rich people. I could live here, I could really be bougie and live here. It’s so beautiful to just walk outside the back yard and look down at the Hollywood Hills, I didn’t think we had that much money. Jasmine and I counted it and I was like oh shit, ok this is a lot. I see why he is having a heart attack. The only thing that does put me back is the fact I am pregnant but it’s been fun either way “is he in that pool again?” Leyton has done nothing but be in that “he is, he even requested a mocktail, like who are you” he’s getting above himself “no matter what, if you and stupid get back together you cannot tell him about my dick appointment” Jasmine said it like I would “I wouldn’t but I do think your ex boo likes you still” Jasmine pulled a face “he’s got good dick and that is it, he near fainted seeing you. I don’t know what you’re doing with my brother, you have been getting men here all up on you and you pregnant. I was like dude, look at her stomach. These niggas don’t care” I laughed “he said I will be step daddy, he was bold” shaking my head laughing “step daddy, I think Cassius would put him in the ground” Jasmine walked off saying.

I refuse to go greyhound again, we need to spend this money either way. I cannot deal with that again, I mean it was fun but no “you think I did wrong?” I do question myself sometimes “oh no sweetie, I would have shot him in the leg and took his money too. You’re nice, you left him a Beyonce note and that is funny. He is my brother and I say you did fine, Atlanta would have been where Cassius would have come, he would have harassed you but look at us, we are happy and smiling are we not? My mother said just be happy, she knows you’re safe and she is ok with that” his family are so sweet “I feel bad because you are his sister” I took his sister with me “and? What is he going to do besides be sad? Bitch we in Hollywood, we can pay to see Lil Wayne, he is doing a concert, we must go. We can get VIP, we can do this. You can use your pretty eyes, we got this girl. Pregnant bitches go out too, who cares. Little Cartier don’t mind” Jasmine touched my bump, like I said she is wild as fuck and continues to be on one hundred.

Am I fooling myself, I feel very sad about this. I never got the chance to shop with Cassius baby clothes and I am doing this on my own, I guess daddy is paying though “do you need help at all?” the store assistant asked me “erm, you know what I think I do. I have no idea on sizes at all” I am useless, she cooed out “is this your first time being a mother?” nodding my head “this is my” I paused staring at Jasmine “sister in law”Jasmine said “yeah and this my brother, I have no clue if to get a big size for my son” the assistant seems so sweet “oh we all get that, how far along are you?” she pointed at my bump “I am currently twenty three weeks, soon to be twenty four” touching my bump “you have a perfect sized bump, now we do recommend to get three to six months. From looking at your bump I wouldn’t go any higher, what was it you was looking at?” looking at the rack “I was wanting this Gucci baby grow, I think it’s cute. The grey colour” the lady went ahead of me to look through the sizes “what about this?” Leyton held up a Versace baby suit “I like that too, hold it” I said to him “this, now it will be somewhat big for him but he can grow into it” he will look so handsome in this, I know my son will be “I love it, this is the first piece of clothing I have bought for him. I have been so busy. He can thank his dad for spoiling him” I grinned.

My brother has got a tan, he done gone a shade darker “do you like it here?” reaching over, wiping the side of his mouth “stop” he moved my hand away laughing “I do, it’s so good. Look how many things we done, I’ve been Disney, I seen universal. This is the life, so many things we can do too. I love the home, it’s dope. Why can’t we move here?” pulling a face at him “we can’t because I am having this baby and once I do I want to be in Atlanta and I will be staying there. I don’t want to raise my kid here, it’s expensive too” I am so tight, I am only spending because this is his money “but you dropped a stack on the baby, come on. I know Cassius would do it for you” licking my lips laughing “no thank you, I am ok. Anyways you better eat all of that. I done paid for extra fries, fat ass” seeing Jasmine’ ex, once again he is here “what’s good my nigga” he dapped Leyton “hey Hunter” his parents called him Hunter, that is some sad shit “looking beautiful as ever Sofia, the sun in your eyes is just wow and Jasmine. Simple one” rolling my eyes looking down at my food “shut up, you speak too much so. How about you babysit for us, just like take Leyton somewhere and we can have some girl time?” Hunter looked at Leyton “do I look like a babysitter to you?” he spat “you do, I mean why not?” I asked him “why, where you both going?” he pointed at us both “well she wants to see Lil Wayne but no, so we found out Beyonce is playing and we have just bought tickets over the odds. Just that we rather not take Leyton, I love you but no” I have no idea why I trust this man but Leyton has been with worse people “if you give me a smile I will” I couldn’t hep but laugh but I looked away “if I smile then what?” Jasmine spat “then I say no!” he shouted “I am playing, you know I do it for you. Ok, if I get to order pizza and stay in the, mansion deal?” Jasmine nodded her head.

I know what my brother means, the vibe here is nice but I couldn’t live that lifestyle at all “Jasmine, he really likes you. I know you said he went with another girl but he loves teasing you and he does this for you” Jasmine kissed her teeth “the reason I went back home was because of him, I was so heartbroken. I couldn’t stay and he said it was a mistake but this girl, well the girl he did it with said he wanted it but I guess we will see. He is good for the dick, you can honestly live off that. Do that to my brother” I laughed out, she is so stupid “oh god, look who it is. The many calls he does” seeing the caller I.D, Cassius has not given up. He gives Jasmine at least thirty missed calls a day and she doesn’t pick up at all “you boys just wait there, pick it up” I said to Jasmine “me!?” she spat “and get shouted at” Jasmine and I walked into the corner “just do it, ask him what is wrong? I just want to know something” Jasmine sighed out “if he cusses me out then you take the phone” we stopped in a corner where it was more quiet, I just want to hear something.

Jasmine picked up the phone, I placed my head ever so close to the phone “hi Cassius” Jasmine said, her voice ever so high pitch. The line went dead quiet “you pick up now?” Cassius said “I didn’t know it was you calling, duh” Jasmine is about to annoy him “where is she? She is not in Atlanta so where is she?” hearing him say “she? Who is that?” Jasmine eye balled me and shrugged “Sofia, where is she!?” he spat “I have no idea, I am in Dubai” my eyes widened, what is she doing “if I come Dubai, I am coming there to kill you. Now you fucking tell me where is she!?” Jasmine just looked at me “I don’t know where Sofia is, the fuck” Cassius groaned out “you and mom are some lying fucking bitches, I am sick of you both. You dumb fucking bitch” grabbing the phone from Jasmine “it’s good to know you still have that same attitude” I said down the phone and the line went silent, not even a word spoken. I had to check the phone to see if it was still connected “where are you?” he asked “shopping for my son, you should see the cute baby grows he got. They are so cute, what else? Stop harassing Jasmine” that is all he has been doing “why are you doing this to me? You ran with my money, you left me for what?” what a stupid question to ask “I want a real man to teach my son how to be a man, I will never find that in this lifetime so I will do it on my own” I know this will annoy him “Sofia, you ain’t about to have no home to go too, stop fucking with me. You will be back in Barbados with your mom, you are your mother. You fucking stole my money, if you don’t come back I will kill Samuel” he is such a bastard “when you do Cassius, snort a line off his body” disconnecting the call “for you” turning on my heels.

“You have broken another phone” Ethan said at the side of me “anyways the Latino’s are here” I don’t know how to even feel, it’s just a weird thing to even feel or even think of. Myles opened the door for me “no funny business here” Kyle said as I got out of the car, I knew this would happen and they come running to me. They have nobody protecting them so they need me “is this your people?” I said laughing, this is nothing “you killed our leader homie” I have other plans for Samuel actually “who’s fault is that? Mine or yours? He was an easy target, maybe you should like your leader more. So what are you? His right hand man?” he has a big mouth “you know our people have nothing, they are dying out there because of you?” I laughed, it’s laughable “weak” I said walking around him “so what do you propose?” they have nothing “you picking at us Cassius, you know what you are doing. You continued to kill us ever since you killed our leader, you have left the bodies outside their family homes. That is evil! I want out!” he shouted, turning to him “there is never a way out unless you want to die, I can post your body too? Free of charge” bringing my head closer to his “I am sure your daughter wants to see her daddy’ dead body, I have been waiting for you” moving back from him “you’re right, we picked at y’all at the weakest time and it’s worked. Look at it, you know what let’s do this. You give me everything y’all have and we just take over? Done deal? Yeah?” he nodded his head “yeah? Ok good” walking around him “kill them all” I don’t care anymore, opening the car door as I got inside.

The care scale with me has gone, I don’t care “I have never killed so much in so little time” Kyle said getting into the back of the car with me “Ethan staying to clean?” I said as Myles got in the driver’s seat “he is yeah, where we going?” it’s rather a blood bath out there “erm, to the club” Kyle and Myles looked at each other before Myles looked ahead of him “I can’t believe we back in Brooklyn, we went to Atlanta for what? You have created so much shit Cassius” the car drove off slowly “Myles, you don’t do fucking shit but you come here to look pretty. Just fucking stick with the bitch you don’t want” Kyle groaned out “can we please not do this ok? Just shut up both of you, I am just not happy with you either. Cassius what the fuck? You know what I don’t know how you do it, how do you get hooked up on shit and then get off it, you’re a machine but why? Why have you done it again, you are becoming mad. This was not needed, you and I both know that” I don’t wish to speak to them “just take me to the club” it’s not worth it.

Taking in a deep breath resting my head back, wiping my nose with my hand and looking at the side of my hand “you said to me never take your own product, I told you it’s good when it’s free” Raphael said “why be in this world when you can be out of this world” dragging my eyes away from Raphael seeing Celine, licking my top lip as she waved at me. Waving her over “make room” I said to Kyle to move “how is you? Everyone?” she looked at me up and down and then at the table “Cass?” she sat next to me “how is Sofia? You’re not doing this again? I know what you’re like with this, don’t do that” scratching the side of my head “is that why she gone to California” my eyes widened at her “she has gone where!?” I spat, Celine paused “oh you didn’t know?” getting up from my position “her and Leyton have gone, he sent pictures and things. Cassius what is it?” that is where she has gone, clenching my jaw “Cassius this is why she has gone without you, I was shocked to see you here. I made a mistake” she was about to get up but I dragged her back down “show me the pictures” letting her wrist go “get me some weed!” I spat, Celine sighed out “I don’t think I want this” Celine tried to get up again and I also got up “remember when you begged me to keep you alive, fucking show me!” I spat.

Sliding across on the picture, staring down at the picture of Sofia with Mickey and Minnie. A small smiled played on my lips with the way Minnie is touching the baby bump “you smiled” looking up at Kyle “not really, ring Leyton’ phone now” passing Celine’ phone back to her “Cassius, why are you taking that again. I thought you was happy with Sofia? She don’t deserve that” she is irritating me “I swear, I will kill you, fucking do it” watching her tap Leyton’ name as it rang out “Cassius, you need to calm down” Kyle acting like I don’t know what I am doing “hey big head, where is Sofia?” Celine looked at me but looked away, she can’t stand to look at me “oh she has, then who are you with?” where has she gone “oh right, that is ok. Tell Sofia I called, just wanted to know when you was back. Speak soon” she disconnected the call “Jasmine and Sofia gone to a concert, and Leyton is with a friend at the home” she is cheating on me, gripping Celine’ neck “you get that fucking address! Now!” I barked “woah, woah!” Kyle pushed at me but I didn’t move “get off her!” Kyle shouted at me “fuck!” is the last thing I heard until everything went blank.

I took in a deep breath as I opened my eyes, looking around me and realising that I am just at home. I laid back down “where is Sofia?” I asked, I am sure she is here “Cassius you lose your damn mind, you know she ain’t here” Kyle said, touching the side of my head “who hit me?” getting up from the couch “me” Kyle said it without a care “she left me” I mumbled, I got a bad head pain now “Cassius, it’s best you accept that she left you” looking up at my mom “I will once I get something” getting up from the couch “get what? Cassius you need to stop, you about to get yourself fucked up” Kyle is just full of air, walking off “nigga! You get that something then we going to have problems!” Kyle shouted at me “you near killed Celine” that was it “she knows where Sofia is, you right” I pointed at him “Cassius, my nigga. Sofia doesn’t want to know you! Hear me out! I seen the note, she said she don’t want you. She left you because this is not the nigga she knows. You lost your mind, what you going to do? Go there and do what? Scare her, beat her? What!? Tell me” Kyle got in my face “you said you ain’t Jordan! You came out of jail being clean as fuck, you was so right. You met Sofia and you was happy and you do this! If I have to knock you out again Cassius then I will, you want Sofia back yeah? You want to speak to her?” I swallowed hard “Sofia is good people Cassius come on, I know this shit is not it. You know this, you know it. I know you don’t want to do this but this don’t need to be it. How many times have I told you that I ain’t ever seen real love until now and you do this. You blame your dad for being a shit person and he fucked you up and yet you prove everything he say. Come on Casssius I love you bro we all do” patting Kyle’ shoulder walking around him “Cassius, baby” my mom said as I walked by her and then stopped “it was never about the money” I said as my voice broke and then continued to walk up the steps “he needs to do this himself mama, we can’t do it for him” Myles said.

[thehyperkraken]

EDIT: yall idk why the actual fic isnt showing up in the tags but this shit is, bc thats literally the opposite of what i wanted, but for the love of god read the fic first and/or instead, that’s the thing i spent more than 20 minutes on: [link]

Hey random idea dump for that one fic i done did yeehaw... it’s almost longer than the fic itself but jesus christ i need to get these ideas out of my head and throw them into the internet ether, seriously don’t read this its a goddamn mess

So ghjkdf the actual plotty part of that fic came from that one b99 bit... the Bone one.....u kno

Arthur: Come on, Dutch. The O'Driscolls thing isn't the problem. You're in a bad mood because you've been so busy planning this heist that it's keeping you and Hosea apart. You two just need to bone. John: Oh no... Dutch: ...What did you say? John: Don't say it again! Arthur: I said you two need to bone. John: Oh my god... Dutch: (with barely contained fury) Hhhhhow Dare you Arthur Morgan, I am thIS GANG'S LEADER!!! You have NO RIGHT to comment on my sex life— (5 minutes later) Dutch, standing on top of a table screaming: BONE?!?!?! (10 minutes later) Dutch: What happens in my bedroom, son, is NONE of your business— (20 minutes later) Dutch, jumping up and down on the table: BOOOOOOONE!!!!!!!!! (40 minutes later) Dutch: And don't EVER speak to me like that AGAIN! (storms off) John, sunken down in his chair in horror: Why the hell did you do that? Arthur: (shrugs) They need to bone. John: Gross, Arthur! That's our dads!

And then like a day later gfdhkg

John: Oh hey Dutch! I know you don't want to talk about Hosea, BUT, I had an idea— Dutch: No need, John, it's all good. John: So... your fight with Hosea is over? Dutch: Yep. John: Because you finally figured out a plan for the heist...? Dutch: Nope! Arthur, excitedly: Because you guys—? Dutch: Yyyyep! Arthur, looking smug: Knew it. John: Ugh... Arthur: (leans down close to him) See, what happened is, our dads had sex— John: UGH, SHUT UP!

Another inspiration I had was John Mulaney’s bit about zoning out for John with adhd,,,,, the part where he’s like “the doctor was reading me the results of a blood test, it was IMPORTANT that I LISTENED, but NO, I zoned out, I was like, I’m just gonna stare at the wall and think m’thoughts” that’s why I wrote the part where John was like “ehhh attention deficient something something disease” bc it made me laugh gjhggdjh

Dutch: so the doctor says you have ADHD John: (thinking about minecraft) what?

Also unrelated but blease consider Arthur teaching John to drive like

Arthur: are you watching the road? John: ........I am looking through the windshield Arthur: John: .......and I’m not gonna hit anyone...... Arthur: John: ....but no. I’m thinkin’ about minecraft

(Also I don’t know anything about ssb I’ve played it once and hated it, minecraft is my og video game love, but Abigail beating John at ssb is funnier, I’m a fake gamer boy :^( rip)

ONE MORE INSPIRATION THAT ONE VINE ITS MY FAVORITE VINE

Arthur: are you drinking coke for breakfast? John: yeah, what did you have for breakfast? Arthur: ........nothing John: (sipping his drink) I’m doing better than you, then

Anyway onto ACTUAL IDEA STUFF HOORAY

So when Dutch and Hosea decided to adopt, they agreed they wanted to take in kids who needed good homes the most, so they were specifically looking for older kids who would probably age out of the system and wind up on the streets

They met Arthur who was a clearly depressed and gender non conforming thirteen year old who hated everyone and everything and wasn’t getting the Love he Deserved, and Dutch was like “I want THAT ONE, with the SAD EYES”

Arthur tried to push them away at first, cuz he absolutely didn’t trust anyone, and some part of him believed they’d just give him right back up for adoption if he disappointed them in any way. But he eventually learned that they were good guys who really just wanted to help him, and they weren’t gonna abandon him if he wasn’t the perfect kid they always wanted

(he probably told them about this fear eventually and Hosea just snorted and was like “if we wanted a perfect kid we woulda got a cabbage patch doll. something that wouldn’t scream or make a mess” and Dutch was like “yeah! or like a 27 year old with a job and their own house and kids of their own. pre-made grandkids” and Hosea was like “or a cat” and Arthur was like “...okay”)

Anyway it took a loooong time but Arthur eventually trusted them enough to come out to them as trans, without really knowing the proper words for everything, just knowing that He Is A Boy And That’s That. As much as Hosea is the one the lads go to to talk about stuff and get comfort and Wise Dad Advice, he probably told Dutch first bc he was more uncertain how he’d respond and he wanted to get it over with in the worst way possible.... like, if they were gonna react badly, heap all the bullshit on in one fell swoop

I imagine he did it off the cuff too, in response to something Dutch said, like Dutch was like “u get back here right now young lady” and Arthur was like “first of all I’m not a lady, I’m a BOY, and second of all FUCK you, I do what I WANT” and Dutch was like “groovy. you’re grounded.” Arthur was like (offended) “don’t say groovy... don’t try to be hip” and Dutch was like “no it’s totally tubular that ur a boy. It’s absolutely funky. You’re fucking grounded though”

Then he went and told Hosea like “congrats! it’s a boy” and they helped him transition and they didn’t tolerate a single person misgendering him the whole time. Like before he’s even begun transitioning, they’re literally at the doctors office to discuss it w/ their doc for the first time, and a nurse is like “ms. morgan?” And Dutch is like “INCORRECT” and the doctor is like “what seems to be the problem (deadname)?” and Dutch is like “FOOL! THIS CHILD WAS LABELED INACCURATELY, WE REQUIRE A GENDER RETRACTION” and Hosea’s like “please stop yelling”

Anyway probably about a year later they got John when he was ten and Arthur was fifteen. Arthur was a little bit jealous like, wow, am I not enough kid for u, but Dutch and Hosea always planned on getting at least two bc they wanted them to have siblings, and they know John came from a pretty abusive situation, so Arthur can’t be too mad at him. At least until he met John and realized what a fucking brat he is

Since John was younger and way more desperate for affection, he immediately loved Dutch and Hosea just bc they were nice to him, he was ready to call them his dads within the month but he was nervous that it was too soon and they’d be weirded out. But I imagine he got triggered by something and had a meltdown and they got to see just a glimpse of what he’d been through, and Dutch and Hosea were falling over themselves trying to comfort him and tell him they love him and now I’m making myself cry :’^(

Anyway... from that point on John was like “these are the only dads I’ve ever had and I would kill a man for them.” He gets in trouble quite a bit bc he’s Naughty, but Dutch and Hosea always make sure to punish him fairly and never yell or be physically intimidating with him or permanently take away his stuff, like they make him do chores to earn back the right to use the xbox or something. And they always explain to him exactly what he did wrong and why he’s being punished and talk to him about how he can make it better or what he can do next time, or if there’s a root problem, like he’s acting out bc he’s overwhelmed with school work or smthn, how they can help him. Especially after he gets diagnosed with ADHD

And of course they do all this with Arthur too, but they make a special concerted effort with John bc he’s The Baby :^) and Dutch somehow maintains an attitude of “idk what ur talking about, John has never done anything wrong ever in his life” every time he gets in trouble meanwhile Hosea is like “what do you MEAN, he’s a GREMLIN” fjfjfhhf

Arthur was probably diagnosed with depression and anxiety at some point... it was probably a long process to get him to even admit he had a problem bc he didnt wanna bother anyone... Arthur also probably came from an abusive situation from the way canon Arthur talks about his dad, but Arthur is much more the type to be like “i’m gonna keep all my feelings inside, and then one day, i’ll die” whereas John is like “i will SCREAM if i get a papercut”

[EDIT: i woke up in a cold sweat at 4 AM with this in my head so now i’m putting it here

Charles: So, Arthur... Do you wanna talk about your feelings? Arthur: No. John: I do! :) Charles: ...I know, John. John: I’m sad! :) Charles: I know, John.

i’m sure it’s been done before but it’s so good. ok now back to our regularly scheduled programming]

In regards to Arthur being trans, John doesn’t really Get It, Arthur tried to explain it to him once and John couldn’t care less, all he knows is Arthur used to be a girl or something, there’s tea involved probably, and John is thinking about minecraft again... he has 2 am thoughts about it sometimes and comes to Arthur like “what IS gender” and Arthur’s just like “hm. big mood”

Dutch is “Dad” and Hosea is “Papa” or “Pa” or “Pops” or “Dad, No Not You, The Other One” or “Other Dad.” Hosea really doesn’t mind at all, he wouldn’t care if the kids called him Hosea or mom or anything else, it truly isnt important to him. But Dutch Loves being Dad. Every time they call Dutch Dad he grows three times stronger and 10 years are added to his lifespan. Dutch is an Alpha Parent, he 100% goes to every parent teacher conference and bake sale, he’d go to every game and concert too if either of his kids had a single athletic or musical bone in their dumb little bodies. I guess the school probably hosts art galleries sometimes to display art the kids make, Arthur always has a drawing in one of those, and Dutch will absolutely go just to brag about his cool son.

Dutch is the Fun Energetic Dad who embarrasses the boys in front of their friends but can always be talked into taking them out to get ice cream. Hosea is the more quietly anxious dad, he makes sure they do their homework and keep their rooms clean and shit, and he's the one the kids always go to talk to when they’re having problems... like Arthur will rant for an hour and a half about high school drama and Hosea will patiently listen to all of it and when he's done he’ll offer to kick the other kids’ asses for him, and Arthur’s like lmao but Hosea Means It.

Hosea is also the one the kids go to for help on their homework because Hosea and Dutch have five brain cells between them, and four of them belong to Hosea. Dutch is like “suddenly I don’t remember basic math, time to make shit up” and Hosea is like “I must become an expert on 1820s Chinese history in two days for my beautiful sons”

I have NO idea what either of their jobs are, I wanna say Hosea is a lawyer or smthn but idk, Dutch is probably like......................a used car salesman LMAO...... they clearly make a lot of money (or maybe STOLE SOME) bc I gave them a huge house w/ a pool gjhkdhg

Anyway more about THE KIDS

They go to a school that is a combination middle school and high school, bc that’s what my school was like

Mrs. Grimshaw is the strict and irritable principal with a secret soft spot for kids, Mr. Pearson is the cafeteria cook, Strauss works in the office, I wanna say Rev. Swanson is a weird but friendly janitor or something lmao. Uncle is Dutch & Hosea’s annoying forever-drunk neighbor who everyone barely tolerates fjfjhfh

Micah is The School Bully but like bc this is a cutesy high school au and I can do what I want, he’s not actually like a violent racist or anything he’s just a bad mad sad kid who is a huge dick

Bill is Micah’s Bully Henchman, he’s generally not as much of a dick as Micah is, but he punches whoever Micah asks him to bc they are the closest thing to friends that either of them have

Trelawny is a new student who just moved from another school and he’s that fucking Weird Magician Kid who can’t hold a conversation longer than five seconds without saying “wanna see a magic trick,” tried to do some unimpressive card tricks for the school talent show, unironically wears a cape, etc.... Arthur stood up for him when he was getting pushed around by Micah and Bill so now Arthur has +1 more weird friend

Karen is the Popular Girl who somehow knows everyone, is probably a cheerleader, everyone is either extremely intimidated by her or thinks she’s gonna be a stuck up bitch, but she’s actually just super fucking chill and nice, WILL stab a man for her friends, she won’t hesitate bitch

Tilly is Karen’s bff who was getting bullied by *shakes fist* those dang foreman brothers.... Karen stood up for her and Tilly was like “no don’t u will get hurt!!” and Karen was like “ha... fool... cheerleaders cannot die” and whooped ass with her gymnastics skills and somehow got the foreman brothers expelled. So now Tilly is like “I owe u one (1) Life Debt” but Karen is like “nah it’s chill just come to target w/ me & we’ll call it even.” Tilly is just tryna get shit done and do her damn homework but everybody else is going on adventures and being nuisances so of course Tilly has to go too bc come on....... who do you take her for, some kinda two-bit GEEK? NO WAY

Mary Beth is a quiet nerdy girl who’s always reading or writing and never talks in class or anything. Karen and Tilly became her friends thru sheer brute force, Karen just sat by her one day n was like “sup” and Mary Beth was too shy to ask her to leave. They were surprised to discover Mary Beth is actually pretty nice and funny when you get to know her and also the Biggest Lesbian Alive

Sadie is a BAD BITCH... NOBODY fucks with Sadie, not even Micah, Sadie is the girl who when some dipshit boy spreads a rumor that he had sex with her, she agrees and tells everyone she pegged him and he cried after, she hasn’t given a fuck since 2007. she climbs on the roof to get lost frisbees. one time she got the gym coach to agree to give her an automatic A in the class if she did 100 push ups in 5 minutes. Then she Did That. She might have pulled several muscles in both of her arms but She Did That. Karen, Tilly, and Mary Beth (but mostly Karen) approached her like “damn that was sick” and Sadie was like “yea i know” and then they were friends

I literally don’t know anything about Sean I’m sorry...... maybe he’s a transfer student who becomes friends with John, they play Minecraft together and Sean boobytraps the houses John builds. Sean is the only living human being who understands how redstone works and he uses his powers for evil

Molly is going to a nearby community college and is working at the high school part time as a TA and she is like 19-20 or smthn so the kids all think she’s The Hottest Shit,,,, like they think she’s just the coolest hippest person alive, but also she is Very Attractive so fuckin everybody has a crush on her, most specifically Javier and Mary Beth. She ineptly tries to flirt with Dutch every time he comes to a parent teacher conference bc she’s dummy thicc and thinks it’s friendship goals that Dutch lives with and has adopted children with his Best Bud Hosea

The teacher Molly is TA for is Charles Chatenay, an all-grades art teacher who takes his job WAY too seriously, like dude chill they’re high schoolers. His class is where Arthur met Albert, bc Arthur loves drawing and obviously Albert loves photography. They were both like “wow he’s cute” but were too shy to talk to each other for more than basic pleasantries, until one day Albert’s Big Project was ruined a day or two before he was gonna turn it in, and Arthur helped him fix it.

They’re so sweet on each other it’s unbearable, they’re both Soft Boys so they fuckin blush if they make eye contact...... the most bold either of them get is when Arthur is feeling insecure about his body and Albert gladly tells him how perfect and handsome he is in every way, and he wishes he was half as gorgeous as Arthur is, and Arthur is like (offended) um, excuse me, how dare u insult my beautiful boyfriend in this way?? They both wanna grow beards so while they’re still going thru Changes they excitedly bond over their facial hair......... they run up to each other at school like LOOK AT MY NEW CHIN HAIR and the other one is like WOW!!! GOOD JOB

Javier has a big lovely family who spoil him rotten and tbh love to spoil his friends when they come over too, his parents are in a constant and devastating game of dish-gifting with Dutch & Hosea, Arthur and John have eaten more of Mr. & Mrs. Escuella’s tamales than any other food, neither Dutch nor Hosea are very good cooks but luckily Javier has plenty of aunts and uncles and cousins who are happy to occasionally take one of their unimpressive lasagnas or cakes from a box mix

Lenny’s cool dad in canon is the high school au dad of Charles and Lenny, he and Charles’s mom amicably divorced and he got remarried to Lenny’s mom, who is a Cool Stepmom to Charles. Charles and Lenny go stay with Charles’s mom all the time, in fact she was around so much when they were younger that she practically helped raise them both. maybe she gets a gf and Charles and Lenny have so many moms and are so loved & cherished like they fuCKIN DESERVE

Kieran is the weird horse girl at school, he’s Lenny’s age, they become friends when they’re forced to sit next to each other and they’re both too awkward and shy to say anything until they’re paired up on a project together bc everyone else in the class already paired up and they were the only ones left gjkhfd.... John wants to dislike Kieran bc Lenny is HIS friend now, but Kieran is a sweet lad with a mean dad.... His dad is Colm O’Driscoll, Dutch & Hosea’s other neighbor and Dutch’s sworn enemy

Dutch expects Kieran to be as shitty as his dad, but he is a SWEET BOY, and as soon as they realize his situation, they tell Kieran he can come over whenever he wants and spend the night any time, he doesn’t have to ask or anything, but Kieran is super respectful and always asks permission and always tries to come over when John or Arthur are there so he can go under the pretense of hanging out with them, bc he doesn’t wanna intrude...

Once he came over when Hosea was the only one home and he was like “hi Mr. Matthews are John and Arthur home” and Hosea was like “no sorry they’re out” and Kieran was like “oh... ok sorry I’ll just go then” and Hosea was like “absolutely not” and brought Kieran in and made him snacks and wrapped him in many blankets and watched a kids movie with him until he fell asleep on the couch... when Dutch came home he was like “??? new son ???” and Hosea was like “yea I guess. oops”

When Kieran gets older they help him become an emancipated minor and get a job and his own place (even tho he knows they’d let him stay with them if he wanted) and he changes his last name to his mom’s maiden name Duffy... Colm and Dutch glare at each other over their fences and Colm is like “enjoying stealing my son?” and Dutch is like “my son now” but Colm really doesn’t care bc he’s an asshole... and even tho they don’t legally adopt him, Kieran’s like “I’m more of a Van der Linde than an O’Driscoll” and oops i’m making myself cry again :’)

And yes Abigail does eventually teach John how to play stupid super smash bros. She’s Pro Gamer level of competent at nearly all video games and John has the biggest heart eyes for her, the end thank u for listening

[bitchesofostwick]

writer’s interview

tagged by @a-shakespearean-in-paris thank you darling!! 🥰 i’ll tag @veridium-bye @fourletterepithet @gingerbreton @caffeinated-mabari @apostatetabris @gothkimmyschmidt

Q: What is your coffee order? depends on where i go!! if it’s dunks, a medium iced dark roast with one cream and whatever flavor swirl i feel like that day (lately it’s been thin mint tho). starbucks, usually a hot or iced latte. any other cafe, either a hot or iced latte or a hot or iced mocha but ONLY if they use cocoa powder and not syrup.

Q: What is the coolest thing you’ve ever done? i don’t??? really do cool things?? i mean there are probably *objectively* cooler things i’ve done but my favorite going-out experiences, which are the coolest things to ME, are the concerts i go to. my favorites in the past ~5 years have been paul mccartney, fall out boy/paramore, the first time i saw arctic monkeys (not that the second time was bad it’s just that you never forget the first), awolnation (both times tbh), don henley, lorde, lady gaga, all five times i’ve seen chevelle tbh, houndmouth, band of horses, elo, the fratellis......idk, it’s just like, going to see live music just makes me feel like i’m on a different plane of existence i know that’s corny but that’s just how i feel and so much of what i write and who i am is inspired by music soooo.

Q: Who has been your biggest mentor? my intermediate magazine writing professor from my sophomore year!! i don’t write magazine stuff anymore but even beyond the class material, she’s just such a genuine and supportive person. i miss visiting her office hours. i haven’t seen her since she did a book launch near my neighborhood two years ago.

Q: What has been your most memorable writing project? in terms of fanfic, definitely AWA. seeing my own creative style grow is so wonderful, and seeing ellinor’s journey actually come to life is equally as amazing! outside of fic, i was a music journalist in college and got to interview bands and stuff when they were in boston, so that will always be a really memorable experience for me. i miss those days. now i pay for my concerts like the rest of the peasants.

Q: What does your writing path look like, from the earliest days until now? my earliest memories of creative writing come from when i was about 8 or 9. my sister and i collected beanie babies, build-a-bears, and various other stuffed animals and had an entire made-up universe, complete with families, romances, plots, and an economy. we use to fold and staple printer paper together and write six page stories about them. i think we had over 30 booklets at the peak of it. i went on to write creatively in high school and then attend college for writing, focusing in creative writing. ironically, this made me despise writing creatively. i switched my focus to magazine publishing and pursued publishing and editorial, which is my professional field now. i didn’t delve back into creative writing until the tail end of my senior year of college, where i wrote my first(!) fic, a still-unfinished and never published skyrim longfic (it’s hanging in at around 50k words). i lost it again for a little while and then decided to jump back into fic writing this summer when a particularly depressive period of my life led me to the dragon age fandom. i hope to continue pursuing it as a hobby for the near and far future!

Q: What is your favorite part about writing? language!! playing with style, rhythm, cadence. i never write poetry and likely never will, but i always treat my prose as one would treat something more poetic in that i take a lot of pride in how it sounds and how it rolls of the tongue when you read it.

Q: What does a typical day look like for you? wake up. question whether i really need to partake in society. get up for real, shower, eat, go to work, pray that the mbta doesn’t fuck up my commute (it usually does), roll into work toting coffee for me and my work BFF (unless it’s her turn for coffee), answer emails from dumb people, and finally do the bulk of my work, which is copyediting biological and medical research!! then i come home, have dinner, and either watch movies with my sister (who is also my roommate) and her bf or write or play xbox. then sleep!

Q: What does your writing process look like? i jot down a lot of important parts, parts that stick in my mind, heavy dialogue, etc in advance—sometimes chapters and chapters in advance. then i’ll take whatever i already have for a chapter and work around it, tying bits together, usually working from the last scene, then the first, then the middle. then a single rushed proofread and post!! i don’t sit on chapters for fear i will end up hating it after looking at it too many times.

Q: What’s the best advice you’ve gotten? don’t break the rules until you know them. (this is important, to me, for grammar and style. personally.)

Q: What’s the biggest lesson you’ve learned? writing raw, realistic characters inevitably means that some people won’t like said characters and that’s just something you have to deal with.

Q: What advice would you give someone who wants to start writing? consume!! works!! consume books, consume film, consume plays, consume music, consume tv, consume art, develop a taste and decide your favorite things, ask yourself why it’s your favorite. what made that particular fic so heartwrenchingly good, or what was it in that movie that moved you to tears, or what themes of that album made it the best one that band has ever put out? MAKE NOTE OF THIS. let your favorite things influence you and mold your style and let it run into what you create, not because you’re copying it but because you know what it’s like to be so moved by something that you have to express it in your own terms. consume and create.

[zuka-themed-username]

z-t-review: My Fair Lady (National Tour 2018 w/ Asaka Manato)

After a bit of a delay I’m back with the rest of my reviews from my vacation! Two days after I saw Elisabeth I headed down to Oita in Kyushu to see the final performance of Asaka Manato’s first post-taidan show, My Fair Lady. I am absolutely obsessed with this show/film*, so even if Maa-sama wasn’t in it I think I would have still tried to see it. As my Japanese is not that great I was curious to see if I could determine how they would make Eliza’s Japanese sound different. Would she use Saga dialect, as that’s her hometown? Or some other dialect? Frankly I’m still not sure, but as with my other review I’ll be outlining my experience in randomly ordered bullet points. Let me know if you have any info on what specific dialect might have been spoken!

*Apparently it was performed in the Tokyo Takarazuka Theater in 1963, with a male Henry Higgins! I didn’t think they’d allow that lol XD

-  Maa-sama played Eliza very girlish. The previous time I saw her perform she was the stalwart Russian guy from Land of the Gods, so this was a welcome change, and there didn’t appear to be any discomfort from playing a female role. At times she leaned a bit toward the dumb side, but in a humorous way that played well with the audience. I forget that, given the age of the actresses playing the character in most productions, that Eliza is supposed to be 19-24-ish (it has moved toward older in newer productions I have seen) so I was glad to see a cheery approach, and it allowed for a stronger shift in maturity in the second act.

- I was curious how Maa-sama’s voice would sound - and it was great! Better than the videos online! She could hit all of the notes, though she sounded a tad tired on the highest ones. Not really strained per se, but as if she had been doing dozens of performances in an unfamiliar register, which, of course it was lol. It’s clear that she was really pushing for lower notes in Takarazuka and almost seemingly faked the strain on the ‘higher’ ones (in comparison now not really high at all). I say seemingly faked because she already sounds great in a higher register after such a short time. She has no doubt worked incredibly hard with a vocal coach, and I’m so happy she was able to perform these songs so soon and so well after her graduation.

- One small change however was the final section of “I Could Have Danced All Night”. The final note was shortened in length, though I don’t wholly disagree with just making it shorter in all productions. It’s a tad unrealistic for someone to be singing in an operatic register at 3AM regardless, but to hold that final note for what, four measures? Beyond unrealistic XD.

- Speaking of voices, everyone sounded incredible! Absolutely fantastic singing from everyone. Honestly, the maid/butler choir was distractingly good. This is mainly because

- Only the songs were amplified? They clearly had two audio settings - one to lightly boost the spoken scenes and another to really bump the music and singing. It was great.

- Speaking of which the orchestra was on stage, split in two and elevated on either side, about a full story up. They sounded wonderful; the bass really popped and if I didn’t see them I almost would assume it was recorded.

- The sets and costumes were quite nice, though they were often carbon copies of the 1964 film. No complaints, but I’m always down for new interpretations in design.

- Some notes on translation:

     * For the uncultured accent, “hi” became “shi”. Thus Professor Henry Higgins was Professor Henry Shiggins and I never not found that funny. It also made for a cool stage trick with a lamp. It had a real flame that if you made “shi” sounds into it the flame would not flicker, but if you made “hi” sounds it would. There was then a kotowaza or phrase of some sort that alliterated on the “hi” sound, which of course led to a wonderful gag of Maa-sama nearly passing out trying to get the flame to flicker on “shi” instead. She eventually just blew it out and her look of pride and then embarrassment read from 10 miles away and was fantastically hilarious. In those moments she built instant empathy for Eliza.

     * I’ve not explained the plot of the show at all (apologies) but there are some set phrases that Higgins attempts to drill into Eliza using a xylophone. One of which in English is “how kind of you to let me come”. In Japanese it was “something arigato gozaimasu” and the way Eliza said it, “arigato goseimes” had the audience rolling. She would not drop it - Higgins was borderline screaming “goZAiMASU!” to her response of “go..seiMES!”. No doubt was leaning into it as it was senshuuraku and I was dying. This led to a gag where Higgins shows her cards - a 5 (”go”), a rhino (”sai” but he flipped it to “zai”), and a trout (”masu”). Eliza proudly looks at them and goes, “Go! Zai! Sakana!” And the woman next to me in kimono legitimately guffawed. The audience was all in and I loved it. 

     * One of my favorite songs “Show Me”, starts in English with a very clipped, “Words words words I’m so sick of words!” But “words” in Japanese is “kotoba” so Maa-sama had to cram “kotoba kotoba kotoba” into the same short rhythm and it was a tad clunky. But the energy was still strong and upset so no qualms there. 

     * I’m not a fan of Higgins in general (small wonder in 2018) but I did feel for the (wonderful) actor Terawaki Yasufumi when “I’ve Grown Accustomed to Her Face” started, as that music is ~so~ specific to those syllables the translation simply did not flow well. Again, acting saved the day, and I’d rather a fully translated show then “here’s some random English line and then we’ll explain it with the following lyrics” setup that some Zuka songs have.

- Any moment for dancing was always blown out into full intense segments for the ensemble and it was fabulous. Eliza’s father’s crew was having a blast and I wished they had more time to just trash about on stage. A+

- Also A+, the Ambassador’s Ball was gorgeous, Maa-sama looked ~amazing~. Similarly the Ascot Gavotte cracked me up but the audience did not find “Come on Dover, move your bloomin’ arse!” as funny as I did. Ah well. When Eliza doesn’t stop sharing shocking family gossip though is a universally hilarious moment and Maa-sama’s expressions are priceless. I hoped they filmed it so I can gif the hell out of it.

- As I haven’t really gotten into the plot or characterizations here I don’t want to go on a full analysis on the interpretation of Eliza/Higgins in this story, but I did find that, unlike more recent Western productions which tries to give Eliza as much agency as the plot allows and tends to diminish Higgins, the relationship here between Higgins and Eliza was a bit more romantically-leaning. In the final curtain call Maa-sama and Terawaki Yasufumi who played Higgins did like a fake proposal and lots of “you first, no you go, no, let’s go arm in arm with a head leaning on a shoulder” dealios. It was cute, and audience members were as close to “aww”-ing as they could. It’s not my favorite interpretation, but I think this is the closest I will ever be to experiencing the 1964 film live, which is cool in and of itself. As I listened to the curtain call speech where Maa-sama mentioned how this show helped her post-graduation from Takarazuka, I thought of Sagiri’s first post-taidan show, Woman of the Year, and I realized that both shows have very polite spins on traditional female characters. With her next show after her concert being Sister Act it looks like she’ll continue to kick ass in theater like Sagiri, so I look forward to catching her in more productions in the future.

Next review is either Castle of the White Heron or Thunderbolt Fantasy/Killer Rouge from Taiwan! Stay tuned!