#Later Module
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hope you feel better soon!
I am riddled with ailments, but I stay silly!
#ask#non mdzs#My health journey has been: Hernia -> acid reflux -> Vocal pain due to aforementioned reflux -> chest infection.#I'm terrified to know what's about to hit me next. Please let it be something kind. PLEASE.#The consequence of living with linguists is that you'll wake up with a wacked up voice -#suddenly you're sitting you down in front of a program called something like Praat having your shimmer and jitter levels calibrated.#They gave me a GRBAS of 33012. I have a fun thing called a pitch break where a whole octave just does not exist.#My vocal pain was bad enough I ended up seeing a speech pathologist and that whole experience was super neat!#I learnt a lot about voice - to be honest I might make a little comic on it after some more research. Fascinating stuff.#For example; your mental perception of our voice modulates the muscles of the vocal folds and larynx.#meaning that when you do have changes (inflammation = more mass = lower frequency)#your brain automatically attempts to correct it to what it 'should sound like'. Leading to a lot more vocal strain and damage!#And it gets really interesting for trans voice care as well - because the mental perception of one's voice isn't based on an existing sampl#So a good chunk of trans voice training is also done with the idea of finding one's voice and retraining the brain to accept it. Neat!#Parkinsonial Voice also has this perception to musculature link! The perception is that they are talking at a loud/normal volume#but the actual voice is quite breathy and weak. So vocal training works on practicing putting more effort into the voice#and retraining the brain to accept the 'loud' voice as 'normal'.#Isn't the human body fascinating?#Anyhow; Now I have vocal exercises and strategies to reduce strain and promote healing.#Which is a lot better than my previous strategy of yelling AAAH in my car until my 'voice smoothed out'.#You can imagine the horror on the speech path's face. I am an informed creature now.#I'm my own little lab rat now. I love learning and researching. Welcome to my tag lab. Class is dismissed.#I'll be back later with a few more answered asks </3 despite everything I'm still going to work and I need the extra sleep.#Thank you for the well wishes! And if you read all of that info dump; thank you for that as well!
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"Do you know where we are going next?" I asked ART.
Y'know what, I think maybe I don't need any more Murderbot books. I think maybe ending things here is fucking perfect and as much as I love Wells's writing I'm genuinely not sure it can get better for me.
Like, so much of the books are about MB learning how to be a person, about becoming okay with being a complete individual with everything it entails. The first thing it does once it's actually allowed to decide on its own is it runs away from it all (admittedly to go on a mission to confirm some things about its past, because it genuinely just wants to be *good*). It shoves all its emotions away as much as it's able to. Then shit happens, and it makes its first friends, makes decisions based on these friendships, goes through a lot of emotionally intense situations...
And we get to this point here. MB having zero doubts about going with ART says a lot about its relationship with ART, but it also says a lot about its relationship with its humans - it knows that wherever it goes, when it comes back, the humans will still be there. Its humans actively acknowledge its struggles with being a now-free SecUnit and MB is willing to entertain the discussions to an extent and share information about its deeply personal experiences. Hell, System Collapse ends with MB admitting it might be somewhat broken, but that's okay as long as it can keep doing its job, and agreeing to basically do counselling - this is the guy what would rewatch its favourite TV show again and again in order to avoid acknowledging it even had Emotions a couple books back.
Reading this, I know that MB will be okay. It has hopes and goals and genuinely believes in itself and it has an amazing support system that its willing to lean on for the first time in its life. I'm convinced it'll go on to do great things with ART. And that's really the only thing I need to know.
#Murderbot#murderbot diaries#tmbd#system collapse#Herr's personal tag#Also like. System collapse dives deep into MB's feelings about its life as secunit prior to the events of all systems red#I find this conversation from when they were discussing what would happen if the BE folks got to the colonists first /very/ telling#MB going on about how life as a corporate slave is absolute fucking hell#ART drone saying that they can't just kill people because the alternative is worse than death#ART: would it have been kinder to kill you before you'd disabled your governor module?#MB with zero fucking hesitation: /yes/#(followed by my favourite ART line ever. “You know I am not kind.”)#Like. MB would not have always admitted that it had hated its life as a secunit this openly#Saying it was shit is one thing saying I would rather be dead than think of me or anyone else going through this again is a very different#And here it has zero issues stating that. At least when talking to ART#And then later on it goes on to offer its actual memories for a publicly screened documentary#Because it knows it's the only way to make people see. The only way to save then from the same (ish) fate#And it's willing to do whatever it takes to save these people it's never even met before from what it views as fate worse than death#Including opening up and acknowledging its past experiences and past/current feelings#And I'm just like. Man I couldn't be more proud of you if I tried.#You go MB. Holy fuck I wish I could do what you've done. You might just be the person to defeat this evil capitalism my dude
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So I've been absolutely struggling to beat the ep-ex-8 challenge stage in Arknights because it's the last thing I need to complete the medal set. I must complete the medal set, Thorns is my favorite guy, so I've been desperately fiddling with my operator squad to figure out how to make it work.
Well, fun fact: apparently the Arknights .gg wiki is inaccessible on my university's internet. Not the Fandom wiki, not Bulbapedia, not even the .gg wiki for Terraria Calamity. Just the one wiki that I actually want to be using.
Heartbroken.
#Honestly it's fine--I'm like 90% sure I know what to do and I've gotten VERY close before#I'm just trying to figure out what modules or skills i can upgrade to make things easier#and I can't look at the wiki on my phone while I've got it autodeploying stages for resources#So I can just deal with this later. But like. I wanted to do more attempts on the stage before my lunch break ends#arknights#rambles
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the ease in which transformers can just upgrade their frame and appearance and the level of just how much Gender does not matter makes me jealous in a way that i cannot describe properly. like longing for a place that has never existed and will never exist, parallel to nostalgia for a different time
#transformers#someone save me from this prison that is my body and my flesh#i dont know how to tag this#gender issues#i could just make myself who i want to be#and if i change my mind later i can just change again#all metal can be reformed and built and changed#in a way that flesh cannot#i can go one way but then i can't go back#all i would need is my spark and my brain module#thats what would make me myself#that never changes#but everything else could#i guess thats what theyre called TRANS formers lmao#transformers comics#transformers idw#transformers mtmte#maccadam
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One of the classes I'm taking is History of Early Civilization and I'm really looking forward to week four when our schedule says we'll be covering Mesopotamia and Judaism. I'm crossing my fingers and toes that it will be good 😭
The funny thing is that we're also covering early xtianity and the schedule mentions that we'll need a copy of the Bible. Of which I don't have. So I'll have to use an online alternative. I used to have a copy, but as you can tell, I don't read it and don't particularly want to keep it
#jumblr#personal thoughts tag#i am an asocial people person. i absolutely love people and this class seemed right up my alley#hot take: later points of history (e.g. medieval europe or the Industrial Revolution) are overrated#i LOVE ancient history. i absolutely go FERAL over it#sometimes i think about ancient hominids a little too hard and start crying a bit#i want to meet an australopithecus. i want to see the night sky as the neanderthals saw it#i love more modern points of history but there's somethinf precious about these ancient points of history#this is also i experience in judaism. i always fantasize about what the temples were like and how people existed then#i don't just want to know what it was. i want to have experienced. and yes i am rattling the bars of my enclosure because this is impossibl#we live in the best point in history in many ways and i for one will be the first to say it. but i want to know Everything#that reminds me of that one scene in paris is burning but instead of going 'opulence... you own EVERYTHING'#i go 'knowledge... you know EVERYTHING'#ashamed to say that i would be tempted by herma-mora 😭#i should never get my hopes up when a module or class mentions judaism and jews weren't part of any of that portion of the class. HOWEVER#i am perhaps boo-boo the fool because i never want to learn my lesson
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Xenoblade Chronicles X really reinforcing my opinion that the glider in botw/totk should not have been given to you right at the start of the game
#xenoblade chronicles x#totk critical#botw critical#taking a week off before i start a new job next week so i've been playing this a lot#just unlocked the skell flight module and it is so fun and satisfying to fly all over the place#but i like that they make you experience so much of the world on foot before handing you something that lets you skip over everything#i think the initial glider rhoam gives you should have been more like the skyward sword sail cloth#and then you get one that actually lets you glide later#so you are forced to engage with the world more instead of going over everything#either that or climbing should have been initially reserved for certain surfaces
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Doing my part o7
#she will get her module and the m9 and pots later#but I’m lmd poor and blue book starved#and also zuo le needs an e2 so that all 6*s on my account are e2 again#using cs s3 it’s really not as bad as I was expecting given the doomposting around her#her massive s3 range makes her feel really easy to use#arknights
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god why am i so fucking stupid. having adhd is truly a curse and i hate bearing it
#not to vent on main but. fml actually!#in my health assessment lab we had this case study assignment to do and i freaking. misunderstood all of it so bad#idk why but for some reason i thought we were supposed to make up a patient ourselves for it#…we were not#no :) we were not :) there’s a freaking. TEMPLATE for the exact patient we were supposed to do it on in the module#that i opened once and then forgot about because adhd just works like that#and now im literally . kmsing because we fucking . we fucking presented these orally in class#and i was only half paying attention bc i was (incorrectly) documenting my (made-up) patient information on the record#and i thought it was weird that like 2 or 3 people seemed to have VERY similar patients but did not question it further#…which is to say. i may be stupid.#and now i feel like dying because im gonna have to email my professor and TELL HER how stupid i am#and hope that she takes enough pity on me and my cursed brain to let me do it over properly#because my lab grade is now barely a 77 and i need a 75 to pass. and our final assessment is tomorrow.#i genuinely cannot live like this anymore im serious#i need a fucking brain transplant#anyway tl;dr guys please pray for me please please please im actually disintegrating rn#to delete later
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Grade so bad you consider dropping out
#me: man I felt like this module went well. perhaps I'll get my first first. perhaps that's overambitious. a 2:1 would be nice though!#my lecturer: yeah okay so you got a third#anyway fuck that shit I'm not going to class later#<- now you might say that this is the attitude that will continue to get me bad grades but my attendance for Bad Grade Module was 100%#I Cannot take people discussing their grades. sorry#it's the same lecturer who gave me the bad grade and honestly maybe he'll guess that that's why I'm not in. i don't care#I feel rather demotivated and discouraged right now. I wonder why
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Ich liebe Uni. Wirklich. Ich liebe meine Dozierenden. Wirklich. Aber diese Woche ist mal wieder zum laut schreien. Ein Seminar fällt nächste Woche aus, also da kein Lesepensum, aber in der Vergangenheit war das gerne mal von einer Woche zu nächsten ein kompletter Roman. Seminar Nr. 2: 90 Seiten Essay. Seminar Nr. 3: ~40 Seiten eines Buchs aus dem 17. Jahrhundert (im Original, natürlich). Seminar Nr. 4: ~50 Seiten Sekundärliteratur UND vermutlich ungefähr genauso viel Primärliteratur aus dem 19. Jahrhundert.
Ich habe ungefähr dreieinhalb Tage freie Zeit diese Woche.
#uni adventures#ich mein. ja ich bin selbst schuld. seminar 2 & 4 besuche ich freiwillig.#aber dafür habe ich halt bloß ein (1) anderes modul statt der eigentlich vorgesehenen drei (3) module pro semester#anyway ich hab jetzt fast drei stunden für knapp über 1/3 des essays gebraucht#ich les ungefähr bis zur hälfte und wenn ich davon nicht mehr schaffe hat die dozentin halt pech#kaj rambles#to delete later#tut mir ja echt total leid dass ich nebenbei nen job habe weil man nur vom studieren leider nicht leben kann
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ok I'm officially taking suggestions for character creation options, I'm looking purely for suggestions based on visual appearance and currently have:
skin tones (choosing between a shorter or longer list)
skin details (currently freckles, moles, vitiligo, acne and a facial scar)
hair length (including bald/shaved)
hair colour (choosing between a shorter or longer list)
eye colour (currently all natural eye colours. should i add unnatural colours too?)
height
additional details (currently glasses, uses a cane, heavy makeup. I think I could really expand on this part in particular.)
#i used the <<include>> macro to basically let people opt into character creation modules#so like if you don't pick the extra stuff there's like five skin tones five hair colours and you're of average height#I'd LOVE to be able to add options for deaf/HoH or mute characters but I'm not sure how I'd implement that#plus most of the characters wear veils to obscure their faces so everyone would need to know and use sign language..... hrrmmmmm#likewise i am struggling with the decision to not include wheelchairs because i also don't know how to implement that#and by 'implement' i mean 'implement in a way that makes sense and doesn't massively slow down my writing/coding speed'#es muy dificil. as i would have said in spanish class.#I will add tattoos and piercings but that'll be a little later since there's a lot of variation for that and im sick of looking at this cod#AND ALSO. MY BACK HURTS. I NEED TO STRETCH AND WALK AROUND FOR A BIT.#not including clothes since that'll be a separate thing#and you're in mourning clothes at the beginning anyway teeheee#OH FUCK I FORGOT TO DO LIKE. BODY TYPE i'll add that later
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Looking at the CM curse list and comparing it to the Tarot deck images, and it upsets me that basically none of the Deadly Sin curses are connected to their respective characters’ cards.
Gluttony is Gorthos (okay??? I guess???)
Pride, Wrath, and Lust aren’t even on any EOM character cards
Envy is the only one not connected to the Major Arcana (damn, Jericho is being outcasted, even in the tarot deck. That’s sad.)
The only correct ones are Sloth and Greed, being on the Chained Reaper and Briggsy respectively
I swear to fuck, I’m gonna end up rearranging this entire fucking list, this bothers me so badly.
#also why is chuckles the magician and not the fool#and why are the fools curses almost directly related to chuckles’ character#but none of the magicians curses are#also. I love on how you can tell what curses were written with ouaw in mind#like the being haunted by a ghost clown curse. that’s actually in the module.#also I enjoy rereading my random unhinged comments in my notes#I mean most of them is helping me make sense of a curse or whatever#or writing down quick ideas to maybe explore later#and then some of them are just#get naked mole rat-ed idiot#no you don’t get to know the context#but I couldn’t not share#especially since I know I wrote this weeks ago before leaving this doc to collect digital dust#bc busy#also; POV: you have a fever#again. you do not get to know this context.
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I've made a bat! Based on an NPC from tabletop because I'm so normal about her I prommy.
She also glows the dark:

#crochet#woman module#technically#I should make a fun crochet tag for the blog....#I'm gonna edit in a link to the pattern later too#Darkfall my beloved <3 <3#amigurumi
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For no particular reason, i think everyone should give Hare's verbatim play Stuff Happens a read right about now
#kinda crazy to pass a module that included that play and the whole road to war post-9/11 and then#watch the same players deliver the same lines 20 years later like hello. hello ?#i guess they're hoping the older folks don't remember and the younger weren't taught#and then read that previous tag again. they're hoping you don't know.
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#DO NOT INTERACT IF YOUR BLOG IS EMPTY.#ok im on mobile ill upload the album cover later#hora#hora schwarz stein#hora god synthesis#a music post#im still convinced thats his voice but modulated 🤷🏻♀️#it has the same inflexion as when he speaks + its only ever been credited as 'experiment 05some other numbers i forgot'#and at this point ive been saying for 20 years that some of horas songs sound like they were meant to be sung#and the schwarz stein of the past 10 years is kinda proving me right#anyway yeah i still want a kaya x experiment duo ngl
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