#Leigh dont give us much in soc but im hoping ill get more of them later

[haveihitanerve]

Home

Kaz Brekker stood in his small, cramped attic room, and stared out the window. Fat drops of rain pelted the glass and Kaz lips twitched as he watched a few last minute shoppers rush home through the downpour they were facing. His ungloved hands were clasped in front of him, but they dropped to dangle at his sides instead when he heard the door creak. “Hello Inej.” He said, his voice hardly louder than a whisper. She had wanted him to be aware of his arrival, for while the door had creaked, no other sound was made until she stood at his side, her slender fingers sliding into his. Kaz squeezed them, marveling at her soft hands, and the fact that he could do this. Hold the hand of the woman he loved without freezing up, or shaking, or having violent flashbacks. She had broken his fear/hate/dislike/trauma of touch slowly, recruiting Jesper for help, since the two of them had known him the longest and were closest to him, so their touch was known. It still made Kazs heart twist a little, in fondness and affection, when he thought of how ready the two had been to help him overcome this. The thought that they still cared for him, despite all he had done, despite who he was, and how he had treated them. Albeit there own selfish reasons for wanting to break his hatred of touch. They had gone slow, and Kaz was grateful, though he knew they were both eager. Despite her years at the menagerie, Inej’s love language was touch, and Jesper had grown up in a very affectionate household. But they had always been good about it.

Inej had never touched him except maybe to brush against his side in passing, or a light hand on the shoulder. And Jesper had refrained from hugging him, or slapping him on the back, or ruffling his hair the way he was prone to doing with other Crows. Instead Jesper had always kept his hands to himself, knocking their shoulders together in silent comradery, offering a fist bump in place of a hug. It had never been intended to break his dislike of touch, but now it had turned into it. Inej would slide up behind him and press herself against his back for a second, longer each time, before pulling away again, never staying long enough to suffocate him. She would trace patterns across his chest and shoulders and brows, fingertips trailing lightly across his skin. She would brush their fingers together, maybe hook one or two, but never for too long. Never too much. Jesper increased his shoulder bumping activities, and sometimes would even venture to drape his arm around Kaz’s shoulders for a quick second before pulling away again. When Kaz would sit down, Jesper would sit next to him and grab his legs so they slung over his lap, playing drums on his good knee. As time had worn on, Kaz had found himself enjoying the simple touches, and on occasion he would even miss them, or seek them out. The two Crows had never pushed, and somehow also knew how much Kaz was able to handle without he even knowing himself. Apparently today was a good day, because Inej slid her whole hand inside of his, entwining their fingers together. Kaz let his thumb circle lightly on her knuckles, and she rested her head on his shoulder. “Hello Kaz.” she whispered. “Hello Jesper!” Came the call from the door as it was kicked open and Jesper strolled in. He grinned at them both, joining them at the window and draping an around around Kaz’s shoulders. Kaz rolled his eyes. His room had always been a safe haven, a place he could get away from everyone, but somehow that everyone no longer applied to the Six of Crows. Not that Kaz could say the definition of his room had changed. “Its a beauty aint it?” Jesper asked with a pleased sigh, leaning his head against Kaz’s. “What is?” Kaz asked in mild annoyance, leaning his head away only to knock it back harder. Jesper snorted, rubbing his head before placing it right back where it had started. Kaz grumbled. “Our city.” He pointed at the window. “Ain't she gorgeous?” he breathed in reverent awe. “You got the best view of her Kaz. Thats for sure.” Inej hummed her agreement but Kaz frowned, trying to see the city the way they did. As a place of beauty. And maybe it was the fact that he was holding Inejs hand without his gloves. Or maybe it was the fact that despite his attempted annoyance at Jesper, he was really enjoying the way his arm wrapped around his shoulders. Or maybe it was his throbbing head from knocking too hard into Jespers, but whatever the reason, it was as though Kaz truly was seeing the city through new eyes. “Yes.” he breathed, blinking a few times in surprise. “She really is.”