#Like what yall like but the problem is mfs get CRAZY when it comes to angie in particular i be like girl…?::?!::&/&!;!

[stupidrant]

im seeing the pattern of being an atreus/angrboda fan (or u just like them) and having to go through this weird initiation process of: liking them in the game (wether its themselves, their relationship or both), then trying to find content of them only to be shocked to see a bunch of haters (on both sides but angrboda gets it the worst and thrud is often times oddly used against her), only to then get severely disappointed and realize u probably have to do a bit of contribution yourself which isnt bad but it sucks when its characters that are ridiculously hated 😭😭😭

[queenofallimagines]

Oooh I have a Obey Me writing idea for you but you can ignore if you don’t wanna do it. So when you first come to the Devildom, almost all of the brothers are cold/petty asf to the MC (in my Pisces opinion). Imagine MC’s like “fuck that” and doesn’t try to pander to them as much as the game script wants you to. Like the story still progresses bc the MC is still nosy when it counts, but she doesn’t center them around her world and instead gets closer someone who was nicer/more helpful in the beginning (say like Solomon or Simeon). I’m sorryyy I’m not hating on the brothers but realistically you catch more flies with honey than vinegar. Like yeah being a tsundere is cute to an extent but most of em were doing too much in the beginning. Maybe a reaction from the brothers (doesn’t have to be specific for each brother) as they slowly start to warm up to MC but they can’t stand that they’re not gonna be as close as they wanted to be. And either Solomon or Simeon (or both) reacting to you getting closer to them ;) Again this request may be highly specific so you can either tweak it or toss it if it doesn’t sound appealing to write. It can be SFW or NSFW. I love your writing!

A/n: YOURE SO RIGHT BESTIE!! Like the dick ain’t good enough for them to be all over MC like that CRAZY disrespectful 😒 like in my head I was being fake nice to them to secure the pacts until like you make one with Satan and then it’s like okay, maybe I can be genuine w yall. Bc like I’m making friends w any of the billions of other demons there like Diavolo is all but head over heels for you.

MC:

- I’m so on board with this

- Like if they want to go low I can take it right to hell

- They want to throw UP

- Mammon thinks you’re joking but when you fr never come ask him for help he’s crying himself to sleep

- Asmo hates being ignored so after that time in the maze(catacombs? wtf was those) he’s antsy that you don’t really talk to him

- They feel you having fun through your pacts but when you’re around just them it’s like nothing

- Like when a lightbulb dies

- Student council meetings become increasingly more tense as they watch you get along with Solomon and Luke and Simeon and you’re cold to them

- They don’t even really realize they the problem at first

- Lucifer always itching to punish someone so when he snaps at you and you clapback and the issue never comes up again he’s a little disappointed

- Like him and Satan make fun of your grades?

- Bet. you’re being tutored by Solomon and a demon in your potions class

- Like bitch how the FUCK were we ever supposed to take demon philosophy before?? We just got here!!

- Refuse to work with them on any school activities

- You and mammon partnered up to decorate for some school event?

- You work only when he’s not around

- Beel is the one who sounds the alarm by realizing it’s hard to keep track of you

- Like he’ll go asking where you are and nobody can even say when the last time they saw you was

- Belphagor tried to pull that “I’m a human” shit and you didn’t visit the attic for like three weeks😭

- Had to actually force himself to be genuinely nice

- Remember how they said they sent a demon to like the human realm to pretty much do the same thing? who was that because I don’t think we ever hear about them😭

- But you get their number and talk about your shared experiences

- Fish out of water if you will!

- Lucifer WANTS to yell but you do the bare minimum of what they ask he can’t mandate you to join family movie night😔

- Asks a pouting mammon where tf you are and he lists off like any number of random demons you could be chilling with

- Asmo is burning with envy as he catches you at a party with a group of old acquaintinces

- Can see they are so obviously enjoying your company

- Tries to steal the attention for himself

- Levi seeing you on other mfs socials cosplaying w them and doing a TSL marathon like he’s right there??

- Dinner be so awkward but you brush it off like a G

- only texts the family group chat for confirmation, dinners ready, and when is lord diavolo asking for everyone

- Lucifer comes to Dia’s house bc paperwork and he plans to spill the tea when he sees you and him already HAVING TEA🤨

- Like excuse me??

- “Ah just who I was looking for-“

- “Sorry Lucifer I have exams to study for I was just asking Lord Diavolo some history questions I’ll be on my way.”

- He’s literally WILTING💀

- Whines to Dia and he’s like I’m sorry ?? have yall not been spending time with them??

- “Yall….LIVE together. I ain’t out just you and them in the same house for no reason??”

- He can’t eleven rly do shit bc you’re integrating into demon society very well and are pretty sociable

- Like you gain regular popularity but not through them

- Rest of RAD forgets you’re under their protection tbh

- Like you’re your own entity and not at all attached to them so when a random demon is caught talking about like chilling w you and mammon is like IM THEIR FIRST MAN YOU GOTTA AS ME

- he looses about 500 years when the demon goes

- “Oh yeah you are their hired help huh?”

- Yeah he’s picking out a coffin

- Bc he rly tries to curb his tsun behaviors but he hasn’t made it to that level with you where he can be genuine in private

- Levi too like he calls you a stupid normie on reflex and is whimpering when he sees he’s been blocked on devilgram

- What did yall expect??

- Beel is the ONLY one who you regularly talk to

- And even then he’s got his own stuff going on

- But you guys always eat together

- Jaws dropping when he offered you food

- I imagine Beel is like “oh they don’t be talking to yall?….That’s crazy”

- Precious boy so unaware of the conflict

- Nor bc he’s dumb but he’s like “tf that got to do with me?? MC likes me.”

- Very “okay what does that mean to me tho” energy

- I imagine after the Levi pact arc when mammon is wrapping your sprained wrist and he’s all

- “If I can’t come save ya next time, Die.”

- You pull away completely

- Even Satan is having to control himself be he sees your purposefully avoiding him

- He would congratulate you on how well you’re dodging his advances if it didn’t piss him off so bad

- Keeps it a little secret to himself that he can feel your pact mark burning right under his skin whenever you talk to them

- Played hot and cold to see how he can make you less mad when he interacts with you

- Lucifer is so desperate he’s fr about to make a pact early to feel any sort of proof you exist

- Idk if peacocks do it but you know how birds will rip out their own feathers under stress?

- Yeah That’s HIM😭

- Barbados just sit back and observe

- Even the season 3(?) characters come in early! Like you meet 13 as an extension of Solomon and y’all are thick as thieves

- You’re flourishing in your Magic practices bc you still have their pacts, them helping you with magic or not you’re still not one to be fucked with

- Mephistopheles is so giddy that you’re close to him and not Lucifer

- Offers to hide you in his news room to avoid them

- “It’s so quiet a perfect place to study!”

- Sees them scrambling to get ahold of you but your in his office w your phone on silent

- “Oh hmmm, idk I saw them in the forbidden section of the library maybe check there? Weird y’all supposed to be watching them and have no clue about their whereabouts.”

- Lucifer can take it NO LONGER when we’re about right before lesson 16 and he’s making a scene at dinner

- “Why do you never stay in this house? You a mere human think you’re too good to talk?”

- “That. That shit right there is why I don’t talk to any of you. Do you not notice how rude you are?”

- Before Satan can even say his “we’re demons” line you’re cutting his ass off

- “Why would I want to spend time around people who threaten my life for fun?🤨my job is to heal demon human relations and I’m doing that just not with the help of YOU.”

- Dips to purgatory hall bc it’s not Solomon’s night to cook

- They all just kinda 🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍for a few days bc wtf can they say to that??

- Like you’re absolutely right

- You were already humbling Lucifer before but now he has this irrational anger towards you

- But in a nice way??

- He’s like packing your lunch and throwing away whatever you had

- Pushing you out the way to do whatever chore or task you’re doing

- Makes your favorite foods when is his turn to cook dinner

- Like he’s completely unhinged

- To stir the pot let’s say this is lesson 16 and they show up to all that

- Can you imagine??

- Their filled with even more regret than before!! They never got a chance to establish a deep bond with you

- Not really. Not like you have with everyone else

- And now you’re gone??

- They barely even care about the Lilith reveal like😭

- They do everything they can to win your favor but it’s like the end of the program now who’s to say it was enough??

- Beel is elated while the othered are broken that you and belphie become close

- Poor belphie is exhausted w all this drama so to make amends even more he goes out of his way to heal the gaps between you and the others so it’s all good now

- Not Lucifer tho

- He’s still moping

- Can’t hurt his pride by saying how glad he is that your back

- Can’t tell you how he watched his world fall apart when he saw the light leave your eyes

- DEFINITELY can’t tell you how he prayed to Lilith that he would protect you from now on and that he’s sorry

- All of RAD throws a huge goodbye party for you

- Lots of tears

- During the movie night of like that last few days

- As a little treat for you, you still sleep w Lucifer lmao

- Like you sneak out to go to the bathroom and none of the brother see you for the rest of the night?? Yeah we knew already

- He WILL cry jsyk

- He’s pressing kisses all over you and holding you like you’ll disappear

- Mumbling praises into your skin

- The most he’s ever said “I love you” in his entire existence

- Looking at you with teary eyes

- Can’t keep up his prideful façade

- He’s okay with being vulnerable to you

- Again hit him w the “my morning star”

- And he will go crazy

- Tears up when you leave

- Like he can’t even front like he’s not about to go throw up

- They’re all anxious that they won’t ever see you again because you still hate them

- I promise you on everything in all three realms

- They almost do NOT let you leave when you go

- “Thank you for my time here, I love all of you.”

- They are inconsolable

[sillycyan]

I'm bored out of my mind, give me a description of three of your paras / comfort characters / whatever and I'll be drawing it

I was abt to sleep but I’m not gon leave you hangin here 😭😭 ranting with no editing time.. yall get to see typing as I think..

We gon do my iconic para duo here.. Reign, Donis, and Meil <3 Thankfully I have picrew stuff done of them from the longest time ago cuz I am NOT the explainer-

PRAPARE YOURSELF BEFORE YOU OPEN THIS.. ITS AN ACTUAL YAP

Starting off with REIGN !! Man he’s just great.. Your average workaholic but we love him regardless okay?!? HE WILL BE FREE FROM THE SHACKLES OF NUMBERWON ONE DAY (he won’t) 🙏🙏 Bless his heart.. 70% of the time he is wearing some sort of suit so I did him some justice for the img and toned down his professionalism. His hair is in locs which and dyed have been in all types of lengths so go crazy- Usually in a half up half down sorta thing idk. Some piercings he still has from when he was a teen, but those get purposefully hidden by hair when working. Rarely wears his glasses and sticks for contacts unless he's in a rush in the morning, which somehow is rarely the case like okayy you early birdd LEMME STOP. He is the one I project onto the most and he covers up his problems with work and being a serious guy. He gets with Arline later on which.. understandable even I love her gosh BUT SHE ISNT IN IT SHHHH

To not have him be last.. MEIL omg love him so much. First one to hit the paracosm, and first to become just some guy. I LOVE THIS WHITE BOY THO COME ONN. He’s shorter than Reign and Donis, but he’s still a good average height I’d say ?? Literally just goes home to play on his switch or watch movies after work. Having some suspicion (personal headcanons) on him being aroace as well. ALSO he’s been trying to grow facial hair recently but has horrible genes so it’s just not working out.. Bless his heart as well ig 💀 I'm not sure I have too many mentions of him on my stuff WHICH I WILL DO MORE SOOONNN RAAAHH LUHH HIMM

Finally at this rich mf DONIS yuhhh. Tall as hell, models the most random for a living, and is quite literally the dumb rich person I know besides Elon Musk.. I think Donis would have try to buy the rights to CANDY CRUSH before thinking of Twitter OH GOD BLESS HIS HEART TOO 💀💀 He is just some silly guy though!! The one to make the dumbest and funniest comments constantly and I love him for that. One of those like half open button up shirt kinda of guys lord he has his fans in a chokehold. Also has a pretty built body as much as he covers up with his normal clothes. OH WHEN I TELL YOU HE IS KNOWN BY THE WORLDDD he needs some bodyguard man THEY GON TAKE HIM OUT ONE DAY.. just in case.. RIP Donis would have loved among us

THAT PROLLY WAS TOO MUCH BUT TAKE WHAT U WILL AND GO CRAZY IDK RAAAHHHHHH

[iloveslllycatss]

yk something that drops my jaw to the floor every time?

(I might lose followers for this LMFOSOASODO)

bro idk why but when I first saw/read omegaverse and like animal hybrid! reader stuff I thought it was a big joke and never paid attention to it

I only figured out recently that YALL MFS ARE SERIOUS….

like is this who we are now? is this what the world has come to? what happened to us??? LIKE ISTG THE REQUEST B SOMETHING LIKE

“hey 🥺, can I request alpha!_____ x omega!reader when y/n gets her tail and ears touched and becomes in heat 🥺🥺”

there is so much wrong in that. it PAINED me to type it out. 

first off, whats with the 🥺……….

second, TF U MEAN ALPHA AND OMEGA… U ARE NOT A ANIMAL HYBRID PRINCESS SPECIES.. WHAT IN THE GACHA LIFE…

third, the tail and ear thing is actually crazy like im not even joking.

AND ISTG IF I SEE ANYONE COMMENT SOME SHIT LIKE

“why do u care so much omg its not even that big if a deal if ppl like that then let them be!!”

why do I care so much? WHY DO I CARE SO MUCH..?

WHY DONT U CARE ENOUGH? THESE PEOPLE AT THEIR BIG GROWN AGE ARE ASKING TO BE GACHA PEOPLE. 

and if I see anyone in the comments that says 

“its very normal im into that too!!”

then ur weird as hell and idgaf if i sound mean bc ARE U OKAY? WHAT HAVE U GONE THROUGH IN YOUR LIFE TO BE INTO THIS? 

WHAT HAPPENED? IS EVERYTHUNG OKAY AT HOME? 

AND ISTG THE FIC BE SOMETHING LIKE

“he GROWLED at the man who was eyeing your ears, “theyre. mine.” he BARKED as he walked away, a hand on your waist”

TF U MEAN GROWLED? BARKED? UM IS THIS MAN A DOG? RUFF RUFF I GUESS

this is actually scary and if this is a furry thing lmk bc what mental illness to u have to make u like this?

which leads me to another topic ; furries

if ur a furry I have one question: r u okay?

BECAUSE how are u at ur BIG GROWN AGE wearing a heavy hot costume as an animal, jumping over things on all 4 of ur legs/hands whatever and claiming that there’s nothing wrong with u

furries actually belong in a psychiatric hospital

and for anyone who brings up the “if they want to identify as an animal they can!”

STHU no they can’t theyre human not a damn cat fox bird hybrid

anyways if ur a furry and need to talk to someone about your problems I recommend getting a therapist or a psychiatrist or like a doctor bc u prolly got some unknown disease or something

in conclusion someone please explain this to me because until I hear a valid reason on why someone wants to be a human hybrid with cat ears and fox tail with butterfly wings im standing w what I said.

runa out fr.

(edit: I opened the tag #omegaverse and why is there nsfw.)

[akitaauthority]

TFP If You Ship...

Ultra Magnus

I would also like to warn yall, I do roast the shit outta these ships and you. Some of y'all are nasty and need to be told/reminded, and some of you need to stay far the fuck away from me. Aight? Aight lets begin.

MagOp/OpMag/Magnimus/ Ultra Magnus x Optimus Prime: You pretentious bitch. You absolute fucking- I have no fucking words to describe how beige you are. You 're personality is plain oatmeal. Message me. I want to beat your ass. You prolly like them for the fact that they can relate to each other, and because of their importance to the war. But I hate you cause you also have more content. Fuck you. May your cereal turn soggy before you can eat that shit, may your drawing tablet get so hot in that one corner that you can fry bacon on that bitch. Fuck you.

MagMeg/Magatron(ew)/ Ultra Magnus x Megatron: you eat mayonnaise with a fucking spoon. Y'all saw that one scene with them on Darkmount and was just like "hm, but what if fuck?" and ran with it. You went to Ao3 expecting kinky shit, but all you got was stuff for IDW Megs and Mags and honestly baby, its gon' be okay.

Matchet/Ragus?/ Ultra Magnus x Ratchet: Yes we get it, the old man can dom now shut the fuck up. If taking your S/O to the nursing home as a date was a ship it'd be these old crotchety ass bitches. But, but, on a more serious note this ship can be so therapeutic for both mechs. These two were there way before the start of the war, they lived through it, and they knew Optimus all throughout. I imagine Ratchet would tell Magnus about Orion before his ascension to the primacy. I ain't ever been more depressed scrolling through a tag though, y'all broke bitches need whatever the fuck UltraScreen is having.

Magbee/Ultra Bumble/Ultra Magnus x Bee: I ain't ever seen two same heighted Cybertronians in a relationship, always one of'em gotta be spike suckin' height.

UltraJack/ Ultra Magnus x Wheeljack: Listen, listen, both these mechs love their solitary time and it can create so much angst, SO MUCH. Magnus feeling he must uphold his duties and Wheeljack having a mindset similar to a pirate. His spark belongs to the stars AND Magnus, but the stars will always come first. But bitch this is Ultra Magnus. We horny. We know Wheeljack is a fucking brat, and Ultra Magnus is his Dom.... baby we nasty. We nasty and there is no fucking denying that shit my GOD.

Ultrabulk/ Ultra Magnus x Bulkhead: Listen man as crazy as this might sound, I think this could work. Just like any other ship with Bulkhead you are fucking STRUGGLING though dude, you got like 5 fics you keep coming back to. You cry at night, knowing, and praying, that the gods will smile upon you and bless you with an update. You know you struggling when you only got three fics that have this ship as the focus. If y'all ban together I'm sure you can scrounge together like three pieces of fanart and a lint roller between the four of you.

UltraScream/ Ultra Magnus x Starscream: I don't see how anyone could hate this ship. Like, they literally work as really good foils to each other. You've got Magnus who is loyal as fuck, very militaristic??? And very much involved with the safety of his team. He's described as recklessly brave. Starscream on the other hand has a lot of character to work on and Magnus could help him along with that, and he can teach Magnus self preser- fucking-vation because Mr. "gets fucking chomped by a predacon for another bitchass Autobot" needs it. You're fuckass wants someone to save you, or you want to go absolutely apeshit. You are the mom friend everyone is worried about.

Ultracee/ Ultra Magnus x Arcee: Huh?? I mean like....Okaaaayy?? I mean good for you. This ship makes me feel the way that you feel when someone offers you candy you don't like, but you wouldn't mind eating it so you do. To be honest the people who ship this definitely see diamonds in places others wouldn't expect, but like you're so fucking unnessecary oh my god. Like you prolly add weird ass comments to other peoples statements, ain't nobody out here asking for an echo. Sit down.

UltraShock: ya like'em thicc don't you commanding officer Ultra Magnus? Anyway maybe y'all could team up with UltraBulk shippers and add a pile of used soda cans to the pile. Y'all are ghosts, do you even exist on this plane. My guesstimate on how many people actually ship this forreal is like 5.

Ultrawave/MagnusSound/Magnus x Soundwave: Listen if the Ultrabulk shippers are starving y'all ain't even corporeal. I show up to this ship with a fucking ghost talk box and some heat sensors, and like one boombox tryna see if GHOSTS even inhabit this bitch. Y'all aight? Are y'all good?? HELLO IN THERE (hello in there) (hello in there). Yall really go all out for the goth shit. Prolly hidin' in the shadows of my house waiting to strike.

Ultrascreen:

You, and I mean this in the most (derogatory) way possible, are a fucking

HOE

Literally looked on AO3 saw nearly NOTHING BUT kinky MF PORN. The oooonly plot y'all got is exactly how long Ultra Magnus can deny Smokescreen an overload. Why every time it comes to Magnus people make this by the books vanilla bitch the kinkiest one. YES I love subverting expectations but can I PLEASE get one fic where he sputters because his partner says a bad word. These two are the main ones who get this treatment, and baby I ain't complaining, but please. Please just- please sir I-I a-ah!

Ultradown: The UltraBulk, and UltraWave shippers come here every year, at the exact same location, at the exact same time, all for this ritual. The UltraWave shippers take out a boombox, some energon candies, and a supersized Cybertronian false spike. The UltraBulkers begin to sing the incantation to summon their fallen comrade: https://youtu.be/m9We2XsVZfc. They must do this once every year, they must battle the UltraDown shippers, though most would say they are a myth, the UltraShock and UltraWave shippers know better.

MagnusOut/KnockMagnusOut?/Ultra Knockout: Listen its not as horny as Smokescreen but the constant tension is definitely there. Knockout is just as horny as the depressed, RE-pressed ass Magnus fans and can you really blame him? Boyfriend? Dead. Magnus? kinky. Hotel? California.

/If I missed any let my gay ass know. Sorry if this ones lackluster, but some of these ships don't even really seem to have a fanbase?? Remember that these are TFP ships y'all.

Also I better see more Bulkhead content after this. Do you all have a problem with truly thicc bootyful babes or what?

[candyorsomething]

SHORT STORY TIME

Y'all I'm literally at a loss for words the sky community is so non toxic its wonderful. This just happened and I thought that I would share it with you.

So there are these long monster fucks that I think are called the "Krill" they're scary as he'll especially if you are new to the game like myself. If you don't know what they are or haven't encountered them yet heres what they look like.

Yeah I know these things look like hell strip ready to tear you a new one.

Anyway, I was doing a spirit task. Specifically the one where you have to basically hand hold the spirit back to their body or what ever. Those normally don't bother me but the problem was that i currently in the middle of the Golden waist land and one of those things was circling me.

When I tell y'all I was STRUGGLING to avoid this thing, keep it together and get this spirits soul to its body- I though MY SOUL was gonna leave my body I was so nervous. I was literally trudging through the black water and making my way up the little broken down tower when I realized the krill was getting closer and closer my way. And just as I saw that blue light start to come my way another guy swoops in and FUCKING DISTRACTS IT AWAY FROM ME.

I was so shocked -i was absolutely loosing it. At first I was like "holy shit that was crazy but there's no way they did that on purpose just for me." But as I'm dragging the soul around more the krill starts to come back my way aND THEY FUCKING DO IT AGAIN AND I WAS LIKE

YOOOOOOOOOO

That krill had to if charged that mf at least 4 times but they just kept sacrificing themselves so I could get this dub. I was literally like

BUT THAT'S NOT ALL OF IT YA'LL CAUSE WHILE BAD ASS #1 WAS DISTRACTING THE DEATH CRISYACEAN ANOTHER BAD ASS SWOOPED IN AND STARTED TO HELP ME GUIDE THE SOUL.

We get the soul to the body and I get the emote, and incase you where skeptical weather or not this was a coincidence and they just kept getting caught by chance without actually meaning to help- they come up to me and celebrated with the firework emote and so did the person that helped me with the soul- PROVING that they meant to do this and they are indeed the best people on the planet. I bowed so many times to say thank you omg

TO TOP IT ALL OFF

The one that helped me drag the spirit hopped on the distracters shoulders meaning THEY'RE FRIEND'S AND COULD OF COORDINATED THAT LIKE SUPERHERO AND SIDE KICK STYLE. This community has been nothing but delightful but that by far took the cake. They helped me like it was their job. and you could tell they had been playing the game for a long time because they where all decked out with cosmetics. Shit was crazy and then they just flew off together with another buddy of theirs who had just showed up. Fucking legends

Anyway sky is a fun game and who ever those two where yall are my hero's javsvwgstw

[octaveremixz]

*One more time plays*

"ONE MORE TIME-"

"NO BARB YOU CAN'T TAKE OUR STRING!"

"Yes I can little mermaid and that fish she carries with her. And you CAN'T stop me!"

*Plot twist, he stops her*

*Girls just wanna have- Ahem I mean Trolls just wanna have fun play in the background*

"I woke up-"

"Guy you are a guy how can you have a child-"

"This child is MY son Tiny Diamond."

"Goo goo ga ga. I look like my Da Da."

"HOW AND WHO IS THE MOTHER OF THIS CHILD?!"

"NOBODY IS GOING ON THE FACT THAT DJ SUKI ISN'T HERE?!"

"IS SHE THE MOTHER OF HIM?!"

"BIGGIE HUSH!"

"OH MY GOD!"

"WHY IS EVERYBODY YELLING?!"

"THE FACT THAT THERE'S A CHARACTER NAMED LEGSLY CONCERNS MEEEEEEEEEEEEE-"

"POPPYHELPTHERE'SABATAFTERMEANDIDON'TTHINKIT'SFRIENDLYHEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Instead of asking wtf we are doing, you MUST see this fast forward."

FAST FORWARD...

"Poppy, there are more tribes than you know of because I am bad parental control."

"GaSp how many?!"

"Can you stfu for once I'm trying to explain jesus christ. Oh wait. I forgot because I'm getting old."

10 minutes later....

"Branch you will come with me on this FaBuLoUs JoUrNeY."

"But-"

"SHHHHH mah child we need to make broppy canon RIGHT NOW!"

Few seconds with Cooper...

"You know what, since Poppy and Branch are gone I'm going to run away to see who is the true family I possess relationship with."

Next day...

"BIGGIE YOU ATE ALL OF OUR FOOD?!"

"I WAS HUNGRY!"

"Meep."

They meet Pennywhistle...

"I'm the right woodwind for the job!"

Biggie Poppy and Branch arrives in Lonesome flats only to be locked up by Mayor Delta...

"AND YOU STAY IN THERE FOR THE REST OF YALLS LIVES!"

"Dang I can't believe that trying to cheer up a wholedifferent tribe that isn't Pop with Pop music didn't work."

"YEEHAW!!!!"

*EXPLOSION*

Hickory saves Biggie Poppy and Branch but then they fell into a river, got put on a raft, fought chaz-

"YOU WILL NEVER DEFEAT ME! I'M CHAZ THE-"

"YEEHAW!" Hickory kicked Chaz into the river.

Zoom...

"Oh my that was a goal."

Splash...

"YOU HAVEN'T HEARD THE LAST OF CHAZ- glub glub glub..."

"Thank you Hickory for saving us from that HORRIBLE BROPPY scene!"

"YEEHAW!"

-Chaz miniboss #1 while Biggie becomes a big cry baby and runs from his problems. Now Cooper...

"I give up this heat is too much and I ate said."

*UFO noises*

"OH MY GOD I'M GETTING ABDUCTED SUN CALL NINE ONE ONE-!"

"Heck naw."

Cooper gets abducted by the crazy UFO based off of that one group by George clinton and on that SAME day Hickory Branch and Poppy gets abducted aswell...

"OH NOOOOO!!!!!"

*Insert Atomic Dog 😤👌*

"BOW WOW WOW YIPPIE YO YIPPIE YAY-"

"Welcome to this door-less room on this FUNKY UFO!"

"GaSp Cooper you son of a gun!"

"Actually I'm over here!"

"NANI?!"

"YEEHAW!!!"

"Alright this is freaky."

"Turns out I'm from ViBe CiTy! Just like my twin brotha!"

"I'm PRINCE D *HOLY NAME🙌* what's POPPIN'?!"

"How tf did you get here?"

"Long story short..."

THESE MF FLASHBACKS MAN...

"When we were both EGGS my EGG got snatched from the WEAVE..."

*YEET*

"Mom and Dad looked everywhere but they couldn't find me so you guys raised me as one of your own."

"NOW *Wtf did he say???*! AHAHAHA!"

"And yeeeeeeaaaaaarrrrrsssss later they finally found me!"

"Q *I thought she said Hue* is that him?"

"I'm not even going to awnser that question and say our son is finally home!"

END OF FLASHBACK....

"It wasn't THAT complicated. Ahahahah"

"Ahahahah."

"Oh! And I want for you to meet the King and Queen of funk!"

"King Quincy and Queen Essence!"

"My mom and dad!"**WHOLESOME MOMENT**

*Enter low quality kissing noises*

"Awwwwww"

"Cooper, you look just like your dad!"

"YeAh that must be why he's so good lookin'"

(I wish I had someone who could make dad jokes.)

*Clap*

"WAS THAT A DAD JOKE?! BECAUSE I NEVER HEARD ONE BEFORE!"

*Laughter of the funk family including that mf Quincy who looks like a GORILLA when he smiles*

FAST forward to th History of FUNK...

"I feel you-"

*Alarms*

"ROCK HAS ARRIVED, IT'S ON!"

*Move on up plays*

"Bite your lips-"

*LMFAO*

Broppy splits up...

"I HATE YOU BRANCH!"

"AND WHY DO I LOVE YOU?!"

*True colors plays*

"I see your true colors-"

*Is this the wrong movie because I forgot :/*

The FABULOUS K-pop gang tries to steal Branch...

"THIS IS FOR K-POP TRESILLO!"

And the Reggaeton group tries to take Branch...

"HE IS MINE WANI!!!"

And then the Pop string gets taken by Hickory and.....

"DICKORY!"

I KNEW THAT! Hickory and Dickory...

Fast forward to Volcano Rock City...

*Barracuda plays*

"BARRACUDAAAAAAAAA-"

And then they lose their colors...

"I see your-"

*WRONG MOMENTO*

*Heartbeating*

*Everybody is shook*

*Beatboxing and-

"UH!"

-joins in*

"Those are my sons... making music!"

*Essence be spittin' FACTS*

Fast for to that song...

*Just sing plays*

"Let me... here you... siiinnnnnnggggg-"

And then at the end...

"-siiinnnnnggggg."

*Cheering*

[I wasn't sure when I wrote this, or even how, but this.... this is CrAcK tour! All of the broppy scenes were just valid... plus I don't like broppy THAT much so...?]

[justmikerrss]

to all the boys that will *never* love me:

Dear christian, stephen, mikio, oscar, royce, pat, manny, derrick, mars, gill, rex, max, kevin, and nick -- whether y’all were a crush or someone i saw myself being in a relationship with get ready bc i’m going IN. I’m gonna use this time to rank these catastrophes from level 1 to level 5. level 1 being a crush yenno not so bad or scarring, and level 5 being sad machine playing while the world is burning to pieces like bish you left a MARK on my heart. if you know me i think you know who that person is hahaha

*alexa, please play truth hurts by lizzo*

christian - level 1. lol let’s take a trip down memory lane to my first crush ever!! my gosh i remember being so kilig over this boy in elementary school at st. leander lol it was so obvious. hahaha. your spikey hair and like goofy ass smile i don’t know i was such a sucker for that. the first filipino boy i ever crushed on waow <3 but then I left st. leander and never spoke to you again. you went to o’dowd, i went to sjnd and that was it really. you went to sfsu i went to usf. idk how we ever found each other on insta, but it is so cute to see posts of you and jasmine haha a USF don as well!! the last “convo” (i wouldn’t even call it that) was when i commented on your graduation post and you commented back thanking me and saying congrats too. so happy that your trillest brand is killing it and you know nothing about me anymore but what a great time it was to know you were my first crush ever lol. thanks for this <3

stephen - level 1. lol i left st. leander and moved to sjes and was like ok, who am i gonna crush on now?? hello stephen, my first white boi lol. i knew fosho that you thought i was weird in elementary school like there is a particular time where in church i sat next to you and during the our father you did not want to hold my hand LMAO and that’s when i knew. i stood from afar. touched your thumb for heads up 7 up HAHAHA gosh you were so out of my league and such an asshole tbh. you and nick, forever making fun of me for liking mikio lmfao hate y’all forever. you went to lmu and that was history. lmao you were so mean to me. but all well. you were like not a good person i think i just liked you because of your looks? lol hahaha

mikio - level 2.5. oh my god the epitome of my boy problems in high school lmfao fuck you. jk. but high school mika wouldn’t take that back. oh myyyyy what a FLIRT were you. i had so many fantasies thinking we’d be together, we’d be m&m HAHAH BARF wow, and then you dated mel and it was just like??? then you were my escort but then i was like nope and switched you with ryann LOL suuuuper crazy like I don’t really remember the details of everything but i knew in high school being so kawawa over not being noticed by you. but then you went to davis, slo, and now in sl?? idk where you are now but you had my heart back then (barf) but that was such a long time ago that honestly it doesn’t phase me anymore!! a feeling high school mika wouldn’t have thought was possible. so thank you. i liked you because you gave me little glimmers of hope of like maybe we could be together -- you were nice, flirtatious, close to your family... not afraid to make a fool of yourself for the one you’re interested in. which wasn’t me but again that’s okay! I wrote a letter to you didn’t i? idk what i was doing why was i so dramatic tbh. you did things that honestly weren’t in my control so i can’t hate you really. again realizing that you fit my type so it just, idk

oscar -- level 1. when mikio was being a butt i knew i could crush on you. LOL the hugs, the convos, being able to laugh at anything when you were in the room what a time SJND was when you were there. now you’re in boston with your boo and i’m still really regretful over not being able to see you when i was in boston last year but it’s okay. happy that you’re happy out there :-)

royce and pat -- level 1.5. ah. USF college times man. these two were literally a duo. RA’s of the 4th floor (share yall are silly for assigning that haha) and damn, what a trip it was to crush on you. royce you were a dj so thats how i knew my thing for dj’s came. you both did your jobs at ra’s, pat you were on eboard so i saw your hustle there which i super appreciated. and this is also how i knew filipinos were my type? lol. EVEN THO YALL WERE LIKE WITH BOOS lol i am cursed but yall had hustle, swagger, passion for what you love, and still made time for partying it up and studying. and now i see royce at parties sometimes n i would awk hug him (rip at the phoenix hotel party) and i havent seen pat since he graduated but hes so happy with becca!! so cute. and its cute (and weird) how kierst is happy with royce.

****DJ SPARKY/AGANA/YURI -- level 1. yall are dj’s who i will always cringe at bc of how naive i was at shooting my shot... BUT IM GLAD YOU ALL ARE THRIVING OK LETS DISMISS THOSE BOIZ NOW 

manny -- level 2.5. ahhhhh manny manny manny. my first trip towards using dating apps and matching with someone on TINDER!!! LOL!!!! ok anywho i met up with you for a few times and it was just like... a lot of question marks bc i didn’t really know where my standards were when it came to online dating. we went on dates? but the first time i paid, and the second time you “forgot your card” so i paid again?? and then you walked me to my dorm and kissed me on the forehead?? red alert!! then you kept wanting like a second chance, to prove me wrong and i kept ignoring you bc wtf lmao... then i was foolish to let you into my life again and realized that was a mistake and blocked you again. and now you’re like a bonafide dj living your edm dreams. i saw you at audio TWICE omg rip. i liked you because lol ur filipino, a dj, buttered me up a whole ton which again problematic bc i didn’t see any of it within myself... but its okay mika is better now. better to not be talking to you. but thank you for being my stepping stone into dating apps.

derrick -- level 1. omg at times i forget about you! which i don’t know is a good or bad thing but i don’t think i ever told anyone about you lol. we met on okc, this filipino boi (lol a trend) andddd i went on like two dates with him? one, i met up with him at that one coffee spot near golden gate park. then we walked over to ggp and we just talked and thinking about it now it was very ideal for me to be myself fully, in public if that makes sense. you were so nice and genuine omg. we went to sweet maple the second time around and you paid for the food which was like wow!! diff than manny!! and i remember talking to you about kh and you loving it as much as me. but i got scared because you were like 26 or somn? i was still 20 i think and i was like this dude might be asking a lot out of me...so i told him the “this is on me i don’t feel ready and not sure how i feel” spiel. and that was history. i honestly don’t know what he is doing now but he was really nice. i felt no malicious intentions from me, i just wasn’t ready to move forward w him. the first nice guy i ever let down bruh. ugh.i hope you’re doing well now though.  

mars -- LEVEL 5. fuck me i hate this chapter SO MUCH lmao. so many drunk cries and just cries in general post this whole... like chapter. but lets start off with why i liked you: handsome as hell, close to your family, athletic, hustled, SO MF KIND EVEN WHEN I WAS BEING CRAZY, a great homie and bf quality, gave me the false hope of like “yeah ill see if i can come through” “ill let you know when i listen to this” the forever ILL LET YOU KNOWS but still views my stories and still doesn’t let me know mentality.... you never initiated any of our convos. i was STRAIGHT pursuing you even though i didn’t believe that you’d change your mind about just seeing me as a friend. you made that clear to me from the start but i didn’t take that as an answer LOL which is why i was so crazy to keep hanging out with you... even tho you were super busy and i felt like a burden you STILL made time with me, whether that was peruvian food, or thursday nightlife followed by dancing at a bar together (which i ruined when you took me home and asked you about your love language lmao), souvla, and then our final time of seeing each other: san tung and tpumps. what a fucking few months that was...only to come out of it with another girlfriend with the same name as me. LIKE WHAT. ARE. THE. ODDS. i still can’t believe it till this day. my gosh you were so nice to me mars. such a great homie. and i wasnt empathetic or smart enough to make diff decisions to retain what we had...but im happy that you’re happy with mika. other mika. yeah. man i never felt so in the dark when going through this time, this was so rough. i wasn’t eating, i’d cry in bed for days, it was so bad. i’d like to say that I’m healed from that though. lol to burning the shirt which honestly i should have kept bc it was a cute shirt.. but yeah. thank you.

gill -- level 1. lol you were dumb to think i was attractive enough to dance with at the soulection event. we exchange numbers and i think because i told you i was 21, you backed off. lol guess i was a fetus then. still am. lmao. we text for a bit but then i find out you tried to get into arcilla’s pants?? lMAO. oh and then i see you at that pool party, saw you talking to other girls and i broke DOWN bc i was crossed as hell LOL sorry ate kayla that you had to take me home that day LOL ugh i hate myself for that night. and then i see you right in front of me at OSL. in 2019?? for childish?? that was such weird weird fate. thank god you didn’t recognize me (i had long black hair there, you remembered me with short brown hair plus it was dark). i just thought it was crazy. uhm you had the fuckboy vibe and look on point.. knew everything about soulection. family oriented. but it just fizzled bc i blocked you and then just stopped talking to you lol.

*****chris l/frankie -- level 1. again i cringe at how dramatic i pursued yall sorta as crushes but for sure bc yall were soulcycle and about fitness YES bodies 10/10 and you understood soul. but omg chris pls get ur life together (which is what it seems like ur doing??) and frankie well you’ve been having your life together being married and all so0o0o0 im trash for crushing lmao BUT IM GLAD THATS ALL IN THE PAST AND THAT WE’VE FORGOTTEN i think lmao

rex -- level 0.5. lmfao you were dumb you’re gonna keep looking at me and emily only for me to make the move in letting you know i was interested, follow you on ig, and then you block me?? weirdo. bye.

MY HINGE BOYS </3 

Max -- level 3. oh maximus lmao. we talked for a whole month and what a pleasure it was to text you every day, receive and send memes, curate playlists, be w/ each other at different events... only for it to end after we netflix party/facetime where i don’t feel the kilig i’d feel when texting you. so i told you i wanted to be friends. and then i try to still reach out and be friends, but i got delayed responses to no responses. and now you just, look at my stories? lmao i know it don’t mean shit to look and you recently liked my post, but i feel like i invested a lot into our quarantine reality. you had GREAT music taste (even tho ur playlist was a lil questionable), for all i know you were just telling me things to like get you on my good side, motivated, privileged......... yeah. i hope you find your 5′0 qt rave queen that can go to events with u

KEVIN -- level 1. lmfao honestly you SUCK hahaha even with the benefit of the doubt, it does not take 10 hours to reply...even if you are busy at work NICK AND MAX WERE ABLE TO!!! you were spotty to begin with but then we netflix party and then you dont talk to me anymore after i ask if we could exchange music playlists? i didnt even ask u to be my boyfriend its a fucking playlist.... we talked about music so much. ugh BOYS ARE SO DUMB LIKE SERIOUSLY. hope amazon treats ya right

NICK -- level 4. ugh. ughguhgughgh. i liked you because your profile/resume was all my criteria: music taste A1 bc of bryson, i hated mint chip, i loved spongebob (even tho you NEVER sent me spongebob memes fuck u), you were hapa (he he but fuck u) (i laugh while typing this i am so dum), uhm. yeah. we talked everyday consistently for two weeks. you were such a joy to text bc you were funny (i was funny too), even tho it was hard to keep the convo going w you at times in the beginning because you never inquired about me at times. max did. its like you were better than mars, but not like A+ in replying like max was. you never really flirted with me? lmao i mean even those attempts of me tryna bait you, i always got... friend vibes. benefit of the doubt maybe you just didn’t know how to flirt but you had posts of your past relationship up on your feed so you cant tell me that that exp did not have you pursue a girl and flirt her up. to me, there was no initiative from you. i was chasing you for sure. this dating life is a two way street -- life doesn’t work where one pursues you only otherwise like no. bet if i went the fuckboi approach, gave you lame responds would you have kept the convo going? prolly not bc ur a cancer and want to feel needed. the only thing ill commend you on is when you’d apologize for delays in text messages but then you kinda stopped that. like understand i should also feel like i should be pursued and never did i feel that i felt like you just responded just to respond... like you’re a cancer its in your nature to dive deep and ask deep questions but you never did, you were the type to play video games with your pals LMAO and like/????/? me understanding gamer life i was like YES this boy gets me but like CMON. lol so many things. ok maybe i am reading too into this but this is the freshest heartache :/ you never like told me i was cute or anything like... max made remarks about my looks and you never did. i mean cool maybe you were just vibing off my energy but i just now question if you were actually interested in me? bc i was trying so hard to make you like me. every meme, was a move. you didnt play your cards right!! its like i kept hitting you with plus fours, and then all you’d put down is the same color number card. where was the fun in that? it was super effortless but anxiety filling for me at the same time bc i was convinced that you were the one. :’/ super good news to hear that you wanted to meet virtually literally NO EXPECTATIONS but then monday rolls around, you dont text me the whole day, i check in at 530, you tell me you go to costco instead and want to reschedule bc you thought i was ghosting you????? wtf did u just like expect me to just call u right at 7 and expect u to be ready?? max texted me after work and was like “we still on right?” so i was high key expecting that from you bc 1. show interest and 2. take initiative but you DIDN’T!! so i was honest in telling you how i felt but kept it light and asked to reschedule. you take forever to reply, but when you do you tell me it was silly OF ME to think you were supposed to confirm it which i get i initiated it i shoulda texted you earlier (but what if i had the worst day ever and couldn’t text you??? would you have just let it be and not text me anymore bc you assumed i ghosted you???) you also said that you thought maybe it was too quick to assume that i ghosted you which is YES tru. however i was not going to apologize for not texting you earlier and waiting for you to reply bc boy, that was on you to make a move to double check. if i was in your shoes i woulda texted. that would indicate to me that oh wow this boy is making sure we are meeting and confirming! even drop a hey hows your day you excited for tonight? i made it obvious to hype you up on your photos and everything, you just were like wow your photos are so good! wow i hope you posted that picture! like idk. i kept it light bc i still really wanted to meet you, and just wanted to attribute this small ass thing as a misunderstanding between the two of us but after long hours of making me wait, you decide you don’t want to reschedule because you were unsure of how you were feeling and that you couldn't put your all in and said sorry. no sentiment towards wanting to be friends just a straight goodbye which basically meant, in harsher terms im prolly not as down as you are for me and maybe i am nervous to meet u (idk ill never know if you were) anddd im not interested anymore bc you’re crazy and ME being the womyn that i am ended up being the mature one and said the goodbye hope you have a good life without me text and then our lovestory ended lololol what a great two weeks am i right? honestly maybe you still need to do some growing buddy but relationships are not easy going they are a two way street but also ill never know maybe you were just texting me just to text me and you still wanted to be the nice guy bc you were scared of how invested things would be post call so you call it off and it was just in the moment for you to be down but then have it change on another day.... i woke up in a better headpsace today about how this turned out but like god fucking dammit i had high hopes for you you infj CANCER. *squidward voice* so thanks. thanks for NOTHING (this is when you start your spongebob dialogue of all how to get everyone on board for practicing for the bubble bowl and sing sweet victory)

so, the end LOL basically. to all the boys who will never love me, ultimately thank you for being a part of my life. thank you srsly. thank you for making me exp the pain, the kilig, the uh everything. growing pains these are, but at the end of the day, i hope you have a good life. whether or not we cross paths again this gives me clarity as to what i’m looking for and what i deserve. this goalgetting, resilient, funny, hardworking, awkward but in the best way pinay is a force to be reckoned with!!! she has the best support system out there!!! she has so much to live for because she is determined to not let down anyone counting on her!!!! so fuck u for missing out on that!!!

k. my ideal man list is coming soon. until then... see ya later.

xoxo,

Mika (allison to some)

[teddy-feathers]

look my problem with the au megamind where Roxanne is the alien and megamind is the reporter is i cant stop thinking about what i want out of that and how its probably not what other people want out of that which should mean 'oh shit i gotta write it' but really means 'in the next couple of months im going to rewatch megamind and be extremely frustrated because idk how to write these people as is let alone in an au'

but here are some thoughts

Itd have to take place on megaminds home world so like. have to develop that culture and frame it as the usual and other things as oddities

metroman still shows up at the same time the baby human does

roxan richie and metromans rivalry is less of a game and more of a metroman one up'd her ome to many times so now shes gotta take him out

its fine not because shes incompetent- in fact her death rays and pointy sticks are ingenious and have 0% public property or civilian causalities - but because metroman is not only impossible to kill, he adapts to anything that gets close (anything that doesnt kill him makes him stronger literally)

i guess this means theres a good chunk of the story that is centered around human adaptability vs perfect hero dudes adaptability

Roxanne Ritchie is actually a noted scientist or something at the local research facility - i figure blue people planet is really advanced and everyones at least a little technosmart but while it doesnt come as easily or naturally to Roxanne her way of thinking is really unique n shiz and shes an asset to every team....

but if you see her in a mask with some project from the lab macguivered into a gun trying to kill metroman well, no ones getting hurt and humans need hobbies and everyone respects the mask desptie the fact shes the ONLY human on the planet so its not like its hard to figure out who she is

she does spend a lot of nights having to rebuild projects and apologizing and such but basically everyone plays the plausible deniability card and asks her questions abiut what went wrong and okay so the masked menace failed after you let them steal our project but lets pretend for a moment the goal was to fix crops how would you say this did? and grumply shed revamp the guns weird side effect into an alien pollinating crop duster or whatever

got carried away when REALLY all I WANTED to say was

Whille Roxanne Ritchie is adaptable ingenuity and gets away at the last minute NOT because no ones trying to catch her but shes just that CLEVER and thinks ahead and shiz....

Megamind is the guy trying to interview her in the middle of a fight like he thinks he's cute - i mean he is but shes chasing after metroman and skids to a stop because this jerk stepped in for a comment. or shes lining up the perfect shot but theres a close up of megaminds reporter bag in the way

the thing is that maybe... blue people arent violent. a natural disaster hit recently and theyre coming back from it and if the two adopted alien kids want to play extreme tag well no ones getting hurt and Roxanne Ritchie will grow out of her competitiveness no doubt caused by just how superior EVERYONE on the planet is by finding her own niche and metroman will grow up and stop bating her because maybe he IS still better than everyone else and thats met with "oh very nice we're proud" but it doesnt really validate him or make him feel special because its just treated as a special thing he can do by everyong but Roxanne Ritchie and once he's found something that makes him feel good regardless of the attention or lack of it he'll stop playing too

but megamind? megamind has an imagination that loves drama and blowing things out of proportion and thats part of why his reports are so popular? like yeah everyones treating this super hero showdown with indulgence but megamind is good at framing theatrics so that this news story is actually a compelling narrative? and also everyone can see the tension is going to have one of these three "kids" confessing live someday

and maybe he gets carried away. one of those 'aw well next time you could do x or y' or has some technological creation that accidentally actually makes Metroman flinch during an interview

and Roxanne Ritchie starts paying attentionto him for the first time.

and minion warns him but he doesnt listen. minion is lower class and is afraid of being replaced like a pet like some people do but Roxanne Ritchie Ritchie doesnt have a minion and even if she did theyre Best Friends not like those other blue people minion uperclass people.

and he carelessly says something unforgivable and Roxanne Richie uses his ideas and actually succeeds in killing metroman

so she goes to prison - a place they had to build just for her because this hasnt happened since stars knows when

and somebody else is doing the camera because minion left just is gone and megamind looks defeated but testifies against her and is quiet and subdued and stpps being a reporter for a bit

and.... idk. i feel like we'll have to resolve the whole class system so minon goes underground and finds other minons who are unhappy with the way of things and if theyre ALREADY rebuilding society after that huge natural disaster that DIDNT blow up their planet thanks TO a minion well ehy cant they fix this too?

so theres a rebellion going on and theyve got a secret weapon to make blue people listen and idk but i feel like it's Metroman

and... how do stories like this go ive forgotten

minion wouldnt tell megamind or he would

metroman would break Roxanne Ritchie out of prison during the first riot of the minion revolt?

they talk and compare why they hated eachother and slowly work together and are actually a great team?

and then they need a reporter to make themselves heard as something other than minions going crazy

and so of course they go to megamind for help getting the story out

something something megamind is minions sidekick for this adventure

"Roxanne Ritchie was raised by the planet and turned against it and instigated civil unrest and killed a person who was also the good child etc etc instead of just growing up to face your problems"

"actually im alive and i finally found my place? helping out the real heros?"

"i mean i did try to kill him, but he forgave me and we're kinda working together because planet of moms and dads that raised us? yall actually are the ones who need to grow up and let go of the traditions that dont serve etc etc"

and megamind does a huge public apology to minion

and... uhhhhhhhhh fuck i really dont know how these storyies go

the blue people start making amends

metroman basically becomes a social worker for minion childern because finding their original families is a bit hard and most of these kids are just going to end up being raised by super dad but at least the rebellion minion families are actually geting to be their own family units and in a couple gens thatll be normal

Roxanne Ritchie goes back to being the token human in the lab and hangs up her super suit and is generally dissatisfied with this

until one night a hero breaks into her apartment to make her answer for her crimes and so for a legit hot second theyre fighting and megamind says something and Roxanne apologizes and then fighting stops being an argument and goes into banter flirting

the worss "where theres evil good will rise up to fight it" peob comes up a lot in this fic in different iterations

anyways megamind isnjust basically like hey wanna do this like. for the rest of our lives dramatic battle showdowns like its entertainment but like no theyre doing this for real?

the answer is hell yeah

and its a polyship and sometimes Roxanne is helping with the kids and then Megamind bursts in to "save" the family from her evil clutches and 90% of the time everything is improve

megamind kidnaps Roxanne to make metromind save her and a good half of the conversation is that hes an idiot for coming shes tried to kill him three times this week and hes bitching because do you know how hard it is to find a sitter for 30 odd minion kids this short notice and they better make it up to him

Roxanne is not superdad but the 30 odd minion kids adore when she comes over because they mob the villain so hard until finally mega comes to save her because hes actually very good with the kids

of course this poly ship isnt complete without minion and at some point minion and mega realize theyve actually been married for years and Roxanne and metro tease them shamelessly for it

minion and his race need a real name obviously

when Roxanne was a... graduate her senior project theses thingy was essentially "im going to go back to planet earth itll be great ive figured out were im from and how to go there in a reasonable amout of time" and everyone had to sit her down and explain that unlike metroman they knew where she was from the planet was just destroyed.

they never figured out where metroman was from because his direction sharply changed to follow baby Roxannes course and mirrored her coding despite very obviously how he had originated from elsewhere

this is important because his race is basically coming to conquer the blue people planet soon - the group finds out - and will download all the survival upgrades metroman has gotten to become unkillable and then just come down to the surface and be unstoppable taking the place over and whiping out the planet like theyve done many many times

a good chunk of the time trying to figure out how to stop them when this planet is REALLY against murder war and violence for good reason and even if they WOULD do that its impossible over looks some alone time that leads to megamind and metroman figuring out how to like kill him so when the bad guys show up theyll go "whelp better not fuck with them" and leave but between roxanne and minion they manage to not only stabilize metroman (Roxanne blood transfusions maybe???) but they manage to scare the aliens so bad they tuck tail and leave speading rumors that these are the scariest mfs in space (go minion)

metroman never lets Roxanne live down saving his life

eventually space humans show up to check the place out

megamind loves everything human despite most of the planet thinking theyre primitive and showing it

roxanne is reluctant to meet them at first but then really relates to them?

for a good long while it REALLY seems like megamind and Roxanne are just going to go on space adventures with the humans leaving metroman and minion - who really doesnt like them and also they kinda rub him the wrong way because he's non bipedal and they kinda make fun of him in a 'we totally dont mean anything by it lighten up' sort of way.

they don't go of course but they may have stolen a lot of atar charts n shit and who hasnt wanted to take a road trip through space with 30 odd childern who will need names and personalities and may be chopped down to a slightly more reasonable number by this point?

metroman loves space karaoke and his natural abilites mean he learns languages fast but no he still cant carry a tune

megamind and Roxanne still duke it out on various alien cityscapes

minion usually breaks them out of jail if theyre not to be let out the next day because nothing was actually damaged that didnt belong to them.

one memorable occasion it was metoman in a fight with megamind and they wont say what its about but both look very put out and minion looks smug

it doesn't matter in the end because Roxanne teams up with the childern to propose to them first

apparantly i had a lot more ideas about this then i meant to? i mean its not well thoughout out and despite the drama a good half the fic is just going to be cute relationship building stuff between the four of them

[sweet-xoxo-thatcares]

I low-key wish there was a dating app that had a test ranking system similar to okc, but I wish it would include a personality test, test on love languages, and any psychological stuff that could detect someone's attachment style and trauma too.

Because me and Taty had a 97% or 95% rate and she was the nicest girl I ever dated or been involved with, the only thing was she close to asexual without even knowing because of her lupus, she was practically treated, belittled, and talked to like a child because she still was technically under her Grandmother's roof and care, like she said 2mths in that she would even move with her grandma if she moved, because Taty can't really get a job because of her lupus. It practically controls her whole life, her mood, her attachment to me and later unattached because her lupus started to get bad and her depression kicked in more. She was always either slow to know things or hardheaded to where she thought she knew everything she needed to know, as if she just didn't have to do it because she didn't wanna do it. Especially if it were something as important as making her doctors appointment, her mom did that. And homework so she could get her GED, she didn't really care about that either. Just her friends and family 1st, her dogs, her cats, her obnoxiously, controlling sack of shit personality of a pig that lived in the house in her grandfather's room, with which he had the hay box and dirty ol mattress he slept on in there. It was basically his litter box....and he didn't give a fuck if you were walking by or going into the kitchen, he would block the walkway and then snort at you all loud like how dare you disturb my slumber. They treated him like a king and let him get away with everything just because he was a pig, as if he didn't know any better....and I'm starting to think maybe thats how her family treated her all these years. That she could get away with anything just because she had lupus. They thought it was ok. Even i noticed that her friends tend to not only baby her, but keep her in a submissive state where they control everything they do together and Taty saw nothing wrong with it. Even when they were playing dnd, I noticed that her main leader friend, considered the mom of the group, practically had her bf control the board, so she or one of his liking could win. Like last minute switchups, last minute rules...oh you can't do that, you got swamped by the bats or something...and taty would just except her losses. "You died" and she would say "what, oh, darn"

YOU IDDIOOOTTT SHEE CLOWNEDDD YOU.

But I would ask her babe, how did you lose?

And she would say, "I guess I just didn't do..."

And then slightly chuckle.

And then her leader friend, the mom of the group would laugh about it with her bf, rubbing it in.

I think their dnd game was not made to be fair. That's the main reason why I didn't want to play. Because they were gonna just jump me in without telling me all the rules and how to play. When practically the game's been already rigged. The bf chooses the outcome. And me being the newbie, you're gonna teach me the way so that I can't win, can't overthrow, so you can clown me too like you did your own friend, my gf. Now ex.

Nah, I'm good. Yall have fun jokingly tryna make each other submit and joke about each other's vulnerabilities. Because I don't care how long you've known somebody, if I see some shady shit and then you just take it, go la-di-da who cares, and I'm watching this shit go down, I'm gonna say something. Cause 1, friends don't do that. They shouldn't bring up your mother being an abandoning person at the dinner table in front of everybody, and she shouldn't keep beating you up about not having a job yet and she knows you've been struggling because not many people hire you if you have an illness that cancels your plans every so often. And I don't like the fact that she kisses up about it after, if somebody was to call her out, and then she does it again.

Like your friends, aren't all that supportive and as positive as she says she's being, its actually rubbing the wrong way into unsolicited advice, when she really needs to check herself and wonder why she likes poking into other people shit, when she hasn't even cleaned up her own shit 🤔

Like I'm glad I never revealed anything as personal about me to her friends, because Lord knows I would have had to check her if she brought it up later to the table to discuss as if my personal background was made the TMZ news to discuss. Like bitch I didn't ask for your fucking opinion, why don't you talk to your bf, I mean husband, about the reason why you needed to get a gf less than a year after yall got married.

Sex ain't good enough for ya? Or are you only 40% into dick, 60% into females? Because her ass was even telling everybody about how big my boobs were the 1st night I met this chick and then she says I'm just joking, haha, don't listen to me.

With her lying ass 🤣 wtf is wrong with your friends Taty. I hope you have fun being her lil bitch, cause she gonna try to control you too. Probably not even thinking that, Taty doesn't even have sex with her gf like that or touch her....hmmmm maybe she'll like me and fuck me better?

Yup, dumbass. Taty's extremely low libido comes from her lupus, trauma, and fear around being a child and being emotionally intimate with men in her family who have hurt her. Didn't find that out till later, but it explains alot why it felt she was always tryna distract herself from her problems with just stuff to do, and hanging out with her friends. But we only had those few grownup discussions about what's been going on and why she's been feeling distant or emotionally numb around certain things. I practically had to squeeze it out of her, cause I don't like accepting answers like idk. No, fucking talk. Don't leave me guessing or having to figure out wtf is going on, having me all stressed out, emotional, petty, and confused because yo crazy ass don't wanna fucking talk to me.

And I hate being ignored. Send me my fucking hoodie back 😤 i sent you yours back, paid $10 in shipping, and even after I just told you about what happened to me with my mom. Right after you said oh,no sorry about what happened. Then next day asking for your hoodie back. You don't give a fuck about me and it shows. Even during the relationship, you put me last.

Fuck off and send me my shit. Everytime I ask you, you say oh, I forgot. Even when you asked me the 1st time to meet up with you, I went to the spot and you forgot. Said you slept in, like a lazy fuck. And you want me to jump up and do like you ask, go all the way to your mother's house and you can't even do the same for me. Fuck you.

And even when I tried to even be friends with you after, you wanted to be petty and bring up yo dumbass, Junie b Jones, looking tinker bell on crap, looking friend, whose marriage you practically begged me to help you buy a gift for and go see it....that you two are together, and you're her side chick??

Wtf is wrong with you, bro. Have a great fucking life 🖕 I'm buying me an even better MSU hoodie, because I'm alumni... and that hoodie yo dumbass probably got dog fur all fucking over it since yall never clean the house, vacuum, and clean the nasty, dirty dishes with real antibacterial soap, not shampoo. Fur all over the mf house, except grandma room because she got enough sense to actually clean her room and her ass with a towel. I couldn't believe this bitch had the nerve to know that I was coming over and didn't even take a bath for 2-3 days and I didn't find out until after I ate her out on her dog fur covered bed. I'm so glad we didn't have sex after that one and only time because yo nasty ass could had me licking dirty pussy and dog fur. And the shit was gamey and sweaty. I got so tired of saying "that's ok" knowing good and damn well I needed her to correct her actions cause I kept getting pissed.

I ain't shutting my mouth no more. And no i don't have to settle