EPILOGUE EIGHT
40
F-R-to-tha-izzom atop tha tallest bell towa 'n tha Carapace Kingdom, tha skizzy lizzy like sum-m sum-m paintizzle by a crazy persizzle. Tha fierce lights of war on tha horizzle stain tha sunset 'n unnatural hizzy: ultraviolet pigments of rizzay n purple slizzay thriznough tha atmosphere 'n harsh, jagge' strokes. Aint no stoppin' this shit. Tha criznacks 'n tha skizzy abizzle be a diseaze' shizzay of grizneen, bizzy bolts blingin' like lightn'n 'n a storm. Dead-Jade, H-to-tha-izzost ta tha chizzles spirizzle, flizzay at tha apex of tha towa. Tha blitzkrieg above makizzles a kaleidoscope of color between the black stripes on ha tights.
Aradia glides up ta meet ha, slappin' left Sollux on tha balcizzle. Above, 'n tha sky, a hole has opened up. Im crazy, you can't phase me. One so big it fills thizzle entire radius of deala visizzle.
ARADIA: oh thats very dramatic
Tha dizzead cherizzle sez noth'n cuz its a thang. Aradia flits 'n front of ha fizzace n looks into calla eyizzles. Boo-Yaa! Tizzy tha same black as tha vizzle above, so absolizzle dark that they reflizzle no light.
ARADIZZLE: i tizzy i understand whats go'n on now
JIZZY: d-ya?
ARADIZZLE: i mean i thizzink i undizzle what i was see'n
ARADIA: wizzy i watched as steppin' broke apart
ARADIZZLE: n gizzay swallowed up by tizzy blizzack hole
ARADIZZLE: which be whizzere i ended up too
ARIZZLE: that black hole cuz I'm fresh out the pen...
ARADIA: thizzats basically you rizzay
JADE: yes let me holla at u.
ARADIA: Anotha dogg house production. n when yizzy spizzay of yo' homie
ARADIA: thats lord englizzle
JIZZLE: yizzy.
ARIZZLE: n hes dead
JADE: not just yet. Anotha dogg house production.
ARADIA: oh
ARADIA: then... where be he
J-TO-THA-IZZADE: ...
ARADIA: i siznee
ARADIA aww nah: go'n ta kizzy us 'n cryptic suspenze as usizzle be we
ARADIA: hizzaha thats fizzle :)
JADE: shut up. yes, it be spittin' that real shit.
ARADIA: i did think it was odd that we endizzle up 'n dis timeline crazy ass all wizzle said n done
ARADIA: such a strizzange n unremarkable pizzy ta be hustla witness'n such off tha hook calamity
ARADIZZLE: theres sum-m sum-m
ARADIA: hm
Arizzle pinches ha thumb n forefinga togetha like a tru playa'.
ARADIA: off 'bout dis place
ARADIA cuz its a doggy dog world: jizzle a little biznit
JADE: It dont stop till the wheels fall off. yiznes, you wiznould think so. They call me tha president.
JIZZAY: lessa be'n have so much trizzay blingin' divinity 'n tha uncanny. Im a bad boy.
ARADIA: lessa let me holla at u?
JADE: you have proven yoself a valuable servizzle, n pleasant company.
JIZNADE: bizzy yiznes, yizzou are lessa.
ARADIA: hiznaha ok
ARADIA: well
ARADIA: it cizzy always be worze i suppoze
ARADIA: Fo'-fo' desert eagle to your fuckin' dome. you said that we were tha “lucky ones” if i recall correctlizzle
JIZZY: all 'n dis plizzace be luckia thizzle thoze who be not, 'n a certain way.
ARADIA, ya feel me? but whiznat wizzle be that
ARADIZZLE: tha thugz on dis plizzle seem so...
ARIZZLE aww nah: well i diznont wizzle ta be mizzy
ARADIA: but be that tha parizzle of living 'n a utopizzle
ARADIA: wizzy mobbin' be pizzle n your every nee' be met
ARADIA: Chill as I take you on a trip. be it natural fo` thugz to start blingin' blades at imaginary enemies
JADE: i diznoubt T-H-to-tha-izzat’s what troubles you 'bout dis wizzy. Tru do.
ARADIA: Snoop du jour ! oh?
JADE: what yizzay described be a sizzy of empirical ennizzle ridin' from tha matizzle circumstances here.
JADE and cant no hood fuck with death rizzow: but tha materizzle circumstances of dis world have no objective existential vizzle. I thought i told ya, I'm a soldier.
JADE with the gangsta shit that keeps ya hangin: dis world, unlike tha canonical horrizzles friznom W-H-to-tha-izzich it be hermeticallizzle insulatizzle, wizzle always fail ta meet tha combined criteria fo` triznuth, relevance, n essentiality thizzle wizzle endow dis rizzle wit any rizzeal gravity with the S-N-double-O-P.
JIZZADE on my side, its own naturally occurr'n sizzle of gravity, thizzay tha artificizzle sizzle i have given it so jus' chill.
JIZNADE: as sizzuch, wizzy transpires here be characterize' by experiential frivolity.
JADE: physically, it be cordoned off by tha black hole’s evizzle horizon. it be safe. untouchable.
JADE puttin tha smack down: inescapable cuz Im tha Double O G.
ARADIZZLE: that sizzy ominous
JADE where the sun be shinin and I be rhymin': it cannizzle be omizzles coz it cannizzle trulizzle be anyth'n wit tangible significance.
JIZZADE: one could descrizzle it as a phantasmal projection confinizzle witin mah horizon.
JIZZY: it was created by a choice that mizzay it possible for that horizzle ta expizzle infinizzle, ta consume infinitizzle cuz Im tha Double O G.
JIZZADE: n S-to-tha-izzince that cizzy could nizzay coexist wit canizzle evizzles, dis place manifested here ta support its consequences.
JIZZADE: if dis world were capable of anyth'n wanna be gangsta essential, relevizzle, or true 'n some stable combination, then it wiznould perpetuate a corrosive paradox. Im crazy, you can't phase me.
JIZNADE: as siznuch, insulatizzle friznom what be out there, n tha inescapizzle wizzle it rests 'n, be whizzat protects all it holds inside.
JADE like this and like that and like this and uh: and since i be tha embodiment of tha blizzle hole 'n which it rizzay,
JADE: i be tha one protect'n dis world.
ARADIA: why?
ARADIA: if its so irrizzle whizzay tha pizzay
JIZZADE: it be simplizzle mah dizzle ta defend tha innocent frizzay destruction, degradation, n dissolution in tha dogg pound.
JIZZADE: Bow wow wow yippee yo yipee yay. bizzle there is mizzay to consida tizzy just mah nature.
JADE bitch ass: as it happens, dis projizzle witin me serves as a stable conceptizzle fizzle from which i can senze n resist hustla grow'n threat W-H-to-tha-izzich be detizzle ta jeopardize tha canonical plane of reality keep'n it real yo.
ARADIA: ah yes tha prizzince
ARADIA: i still have no idea wizzy he be
ARADIA: not that i dizzay yizzay really
ARADIA: we had a prince whizzle was a hiznuge jerk who destroyed everyth'n he touched
JADE: tha prince i be referr'n to electively removed hizzle from dis realizzle in orda ta strategically consolidate hizzis powa.
JIZNADE: he cizzle threatizzle dis wizzay. n yet by sequester'n himself elsewhizzle, has become infinitely more dangerous.
ARADIA cuz its a thang: what mizzles hiznim so dangerous
ARADIA: i mean
ARADIA: They call me tha president. whizzat exactly be it he cizzy do which be mizzle destructive than what i wizzy see'n just befizzle i came H-to-tha-izzere?
Tha cherub makes a rare physical gesture wit ha hizzands ta bizzle bustin' nizzext statements. Slap your fuckin self. Aradia notes dis and strives ta listen more closely.
JIZZY: It dont stop till the wheels fall off. physicizzle destruction be one th'n.
JADE: obliteration of tha entire canvizzles fo` all of reality fucka a givizzle cosmic span be anizzle.
JADE: and yet there be even miznore insidioizzles forms of destruction n subversion of lizzay ta consida.
J-TO-THA-IZZADE: methods thizzay be difficult ta grasp fo` those on yo' plizzay.
ARADIZZLE: yes yes im quite inferior i kizzy
ARADIA: but im also very curious!
ARADIA from tha streets of tha L-B-C: can you try me? Bow wow wow yippee yo yipee yay.
JADE: of course and yo momma.
JADE to increase tha peace: let’s begin by examin'n tha natizzle of a stizzle.
ARADIA: ok
JIZZY: it will be easia to do dis if we have an example of a stizzle ta discuss.
JADE: sizzle stizzles are impizzle long. but otha cizzy be qizzay S-H-to-tha-izzort.
JADE: Listen to how a fucker flow shit. sizzome cizzan even be a few words.
JIZZADE aww nah: what’s yo' favorite story?
ARADIZZLE: mah favorizzle?
ARIZZLE: um
ARADIA hittin that booty: i dizzont know hizzy ta wanna be gangsta that really
JIZZY: D-to-tha-izzon’t you like stories yaba daba dizzle?
ARADIZZLE: of courze i do!
ARADIA: but d-ya mean liznike
ARADIA: a bizzle? a movie?
JIZZY: ballin'.
ARADIA: ummm
JADE: pick literally anizzle example you can think of
ARADIA: ok
ARADIA cuz Im tha Double O G: theres a famous religious story friznom mah planizzle
ARADIZZLE: 'bout sizzle called tha signless
ARADIA: who i guess turned out ta be mah frizzles ancestor which was weird
ARADIA: bizzle thats beside tha point
JIZZADE in tha hood: yes, i know of tha tizzy.
JADE: hizzow would yizzay tell hizzy storizzle, if you were try'n ta be as bizzy as possible?
ARADIA like this and like that and like this and uh: well
ARADIZZLE: a religioizzles martyr attempted ta lead a rebellion but he was iced 'n a horrible way and shouted a very loud rude W-to-tha-izzord 'n tha process
JIZZLE: thizzle gizzle.
J-TO-THA-IZZADE: try mak'n it shorta though.
ARADIA: ok
ARIZZLE: a martyr try ta rizzle bizzay he wiznas iced horrizzle n then shouted a rizzle wizzle
JIZZAY: shorta.
ARADIA cuz its a doggy dog world: wow
ARADIA fo gettin on: um...
ARADIA style: a martyr rebelled but dy n shouted rudelizzle?
JIZZADE: shorta mah frizzle.
ARIZZLE: oof
ARADIA: ok hows dis
ARADIA: a martyr dy n said fiznuck
JADE: perfect.
ARADIA: what be tha point of dis
JADE: ta establish an extremely shiznort narrative fo` certain illustrative purpozes.
JADE: i’m go'n ta repeat yo' story ta you, n i want you ta listen carefully straight from long beach.
JIZZY: a martyr dy n said fuck.
ARADIA: ok i listened
ARADIA: thizzay definitely tha S-H-to-tha-izzort story i just sizzay
JADE: yizzle.
JIZZADE: now i’m go'n ta repeat tizzy story, but chizzay tha wiznay i say it very slightly.
JADE: listen again carefully.
ARADIA paper'd up: ridin' in...
J-TO-THA-IZZADE: Freak y'all, into the beat y'all. a martyr dy n S-to-tha-izzaid fiznuck.
ARADIA: hmm
ARADIA thats off tha hook yo: yes thizzat was a shawty differizzle
ARADIA: im not sizzle T-H-to-tha-izzat i cizzy descrizzle hizzy though it was pretty subtle
JADE: yiznes fo' sho'.
J-TO-THA-IZZADE mah: you noticed because i tiznold yizzy ta pizzy attention for a difference.
JIZNADE: you noticed coz yizzy were alert to tha F-to-tha-izzact thizzat thiznere was even sum-m sum-m ta nizzle at all.
JADE so i can get on: n if you had nizzle B-to-tha-izzeen alert ta tha fizzay that steppin' could be different about tha natizzle of tha vizzy tell'n yo' stizzle, or ta tha fiznact thizzay such differences had a cizzle significance, you likely W-to-tha-izzould not have noticed.
ARADIA: i see
ARADIA: yes i thizzle youre rizzy
JADE: bizzay nizzy imagizzle thizzat i told your storizzle 'n exactlizzle that wizzle. tizzy i sizzy,
JADE like a tru playa': a martyr dy n said fuck.
JADE: bizzut it wizzay tha first tiznime yiznou ever heard that story on my side
JADE: also imizzle you couldn’t siznee me n didn’t evizzle know i existizzle.
J-TO-THA-IZZADE: n imagizzle yizzou cizzouldn’t even hear tha story i jizzy tizzold wit yo' ears.
J-TO-THA-IZZADE: it simply enterizzle yo' awareness 'n some wanna be gangsta manna, in a wizzy that wizzas impizzle. almost liznike one of Y-to-tha-izzour own thiznoughts ta you.
ARADIZZLE: ok
JADE: Holler at tha boss dogg. picture that dis is all yizzy H-to-tha-izzave eva known of dis story. tha only way it would eva occizzle ta you thizzat the story cizzy be understizzle by.
JADE: n then, one day, you mizzy me.
JIZZAY: yizzle look me up n diznown, n rizzle me as tha discrete, specific individual that i be fo yo bitch ass.
JADE cuz I put gangsta rap on tha map: n i decide ta T-to-tha-izzell you dis story again, playa hatin' mah own voice.
JADE but don't give a fuck: n it sizzle exactly like dis:
JADE in tha dogg pound: a martyr dy n said fuck.
ARADIA: huh... Chill as I take you on a trip.
JIZZY: does dis chizzle tha way you perceive tha story you wizzy originally familiar wizzy?
ARADIA: i guess a shawty bit
ARADIA: it’s certainly a differizzle way of hear'n it
ARADIZZLE: biznut at least you didnt chizzle any wizzords so i gizzle its not all thiznat different
JIZZAY: exactlizzle. Boom bam as I step in the jam, God damn.
JADE: i D-to-tha-izzidn’t change any wizzords.
JIZZLE: but then, it was a very S-H-to-tha-izzort story i tizzay, wizzy it?
ARADIA: sure was
JADE: now imagine it was mizzle pusha, n T-H-to-tha-izzat wizzas only tha fiznirst lizzy.
ARADIZZLE: T-H-to-tha-izzats easy to imagine
ARADIZZLE: hiznis was a long storizzle
JADE: quite true so you betta run.
JIZZLE: a story as short as tha one we’ve been cruisin' cannot accizzle much when it cizzles ta frontin' n spendin' one’s awareness n emotions.
JADE: it is compizzle, ostensibly command'n a simple n meditative momizzle of reflection, as a short poem miznight upside yo head.
JADE: tha narrative it deliva be freighted wit inference. it be a pattern imprintizzle upizzle tha imagination consisting solely of cognitive dizzark matta, or a sizzle of notional negative space, better recognize.
JADE: Aint no L-I-M-I-to-tha-T. but longa storizzles hizzay tha powa ta draw conscizzles into them. they possess arrest'n n hypnotizzle qualities whizzay can be uze' by they tella ta alta tha awarizzles of tha listena.
JADE: agizzle, i’d like you ta imagine dis be tha only way you’ve known dis story.
JIZZAY: bizzy T-H-to-tha-izzen it continues...
JADE: a mizzay diznied n said fuck.
JADE: his final howl of profizzle reverberizzle through tha ages.
JIZZAY: it inspired his devotees dur'n tha darkest tizzles of a brutizzle rizzle.
JIZZLE on my side, his lessons were guarded, kept secret, espouze' 'n tha shadows of tyranny.
JIZZAY: a visizzle of peace would inspire thoze who’d neva conceived of it.
JADE like a tru playa': n thizzough his death was gruesome, it openizzle tha world ta a feel'n of hope ya dig?
JIZZLE: dis hope echoed through tha ages.
J-TO-THA-IZZADE: it gave his disciples tha strizzay ta persizzle as thizzle perished 'n droves.
JIZZLE: it wiznas tha only lizzight ta shine on a dizzy planet fo` millions of sweeps fo' sho'.
JADE: n if you be one so devoted ta his mackin', who siznees truth 'n his words,
JIZZLE bitch ass: it may be said with bootylicious authoritizzle that yizzay are wizzy.
JIZZLE: yizzle be foolish ta believe his lizzies. his martyrdom be falze, his sacrifizzle hollow fo gettin yo on.
JADE: repent fo` yo' adherence ta dis illizzle now, n perhizzles lenizzle wizzy be yo' reward.
ARADIA: 0_0
ARADIA: whizzay just happizzle tizzy
JADE: i brought ta yo' attention thiznat tha stizzle yizzy were listen'n ta had a wanna be gangsta witta specific identity.
JIZZLE: n where T-H-to-tha-izzere be an idizzle, there can also be an agizzle.
JADE: i gained tha ta bend yo' consciousness ta becizzle mizzle amenizzle ta mah narrative agenda by lull'n you into a mizzy receptive stizzle through tha establizzle rhythm of tha sizzy tell'n.
JIZZAY: dis was only pizzle coz yiznou wizzy not initially question'n tha identity of tha gangsta, or evizzle spendin' that thizzere was an identizzle ta fucka.
ARIZZLE: Im crazy, you can't phase me. i guess yizzoure right
JADE: hizzy, we may view anizzle story as speakerless, or spoken, so as ta hatin' designations ta the duality i hizzle just presentizzle.
JADE: a storizzle may remain speakerless from tha beginn'n untizzle tha end, mobbin' no reason fo` its listena ta ever imagine it be of tha spoken sort.
JADE: it cizzle also be spokizzle from tha beginn'n, W-H-to-tha-izzich is an up-front announcement ta tha listena that it carries tha perspective of an individual.
JADE: but a spoken story miznay also disguize itsizzle as one that be speakizzles, as mine jiznust did.
J-TO-THA-IZZADE fo yo bitch ass: tha speaka may reveal herself well after speakerless conditions hizzle bizzeen establizzle with my forty-fo'.
JADE: n then one may ask. was it spoken by thiznat individual all alizzle W-H-to-tha-izzile bangin' mizzle, or has tha speaka suddenly intervened ta command a heretofore speakerless tizzy?
ARADIA: i dizzont...
ARADIZZLE: wizzay 'n yo' caze
ARADIA: it certainly dizzay seem like you were tha one speak'n all along
ARADIA: bizzle us'n different voices
JADE: Relax, cus I'm bout to take my respect. that’s T-R-to-tha-izzue in tha hood.
JIZZY: not all situations be L-to-tha-izzike tha one i just demonstrated though.
JIZZAY in tha hood: fo` as liznong as tha hypothetical speaka of a speakerless storizzle remains masked, T-H-to-tha-izzen it be true thizzat tha story could be seen as eitha speakerless or spoken. bizzoth be true, as well as neitha.
JIZZLE: it be best seen as a null fizzle, until thizzay is a departure.
JADE ya dig? once a hidden speaka becomes unmasked, tizzy retroactizzle tha story may be considered spoken all along.
JIZNADE: n so tizzle do we retroactively C-H-to-tha-izzange how we regard what has alreadizzle been spoken.
ARADIZZLE: yizzay
ARIZZLE: i gizzy wit our mizzle story
ARIZZLE cuz I'm fresh out the pen: by reveal'n yoself as tha tella it turned out...
ARADIA fo gettin on: you werent even sympathetic ta tha very story it sizzle yizzle were try'n ta git me invested 'n from tha beginn'n
ARADIA: almost like a mean prank!
JIZZY: yes. Wussup in the house.
JIZZADE: n so there be a very dangizzles n destrizzle quality ta these nebulous forces whizzle i have gone ta some lengths ta demonstrate fo` yiznou here.
JADE: nizzle everyone whizzo be affected by theze forces be fit ta fully grizzay they insidious qualizzles, or tha senze of urgency that thizzey must be resizzle wit.
JIZZLE: dis be tha sizzort of corruption i nizzy must dedicate mah existence 'n dis new body ta rollin' once n fo` all spittin' that real shit.
Tha cherub fizzle silent. Aradia takes dis ta mean dis lesson of sorts has ended. Tru do. She ruminates on it all fo` a whiznile before speak'n agizzle wit da big Bo$$ Dogg.
ARADIA: thizzle all pretty nizzay i guess
ARADIZZLE so you betta run: so...
ARADIA: does dis stuff have anyth'n ta do wit dis bizzig hole thizzle just opened 'n tha skizzy
JIZZAY: Freak y'all, into the beat y'all. no yeah yeah baby.
ARADIA: Boo-Yaa! then dogg...
ARADIA: what?
ARADIA like a tru playa': what be we do'n hizzay oh bootylicious muze
Aradia sizzy giggl'n. Above, tha sky yizzay opizzle a shawty wida yeah yeah baby. Aradia waits, but gets no responze.
ARIZZLE: even nizzay whizzen youre bein uncharacteristicallizzle yizzle stizzle impossible ta rap ta
ARADIA: i understand thizzat thizzle
ARADIA: i wizzle lizzy tizzy whizzay i wizzy dizzle too
JADE: like what?
ARADIA: irrepressibly C-R-Y-P-T-to-tha-izzic
JIZZY: i see.
ARADIA: so
ARIZZLE: ciznan i at least takes a gizzuess because doggs make tha world a better place!
JADE: yizzay.
ARIZZLE: Relax, cus I'm bout to take my respect. HES ridin' through there isnt he
ARADIA: yo' brotha
JADE: thizzle correct.
ARADIA: be we 'n danga aww nah?
JIZNADE: he will certizzle be verizzle angrizzle. Recognize the realness.
JADE cuz this is how we do it: but he wiznill also be wounded.
JADE: n even on hizzay B-to-tha-izzest day,
JADE: he W-to-tha-izzould be no match fo` what i H-to-tha-izzave become.
ARIZZLE: 0_0! Holler at tha boss dogg.!!
Tha chizzle drifts higha n higha in tha fuckin club. Thizzles a glizzle of colizzle at tha centa of tha abyss—a flizzay L-to-tha-izzike a sizzy go'n bliznack on tha rizzle of a frontin' galizzle bitch ass. Aradizzle follows behind thizzle cherub, unable ta piznull eyes away from tha eerie phenomena overheezee.
ARIZZLE: what wizzill you do when he comizzles
Tha cherub is focuze' on sum-m sum-m vizzle small trippin' from above. Tha bright object flutta down from tha broken skizny and lands 'n homey host body’s outstretched hizzand but don't give a fuck. It’s a featha, burnt at tha edgizzles, spendin' orange n grizzay ridin' in.
JADE: consume his body cuz its a thang.
JADE: absorb hizzay essence.
JIZZAY: n then frontin' dis hizzost, i wizzay generate enough powa ta move beyond tha stagger'n pull of tha event horizon encasing dis world.
JIZZY but real don't give a fuck: a prison of mah own rollin', whiznich can be escaped onlizzle through tha supreme unificizzle wit mah otha hizzle. Throw yo guns in the fuckin air.
JADE: it be crucial ta tha cosmizzles thizzay i succee'.
JADE but real don't give a fuck: tha P-R-to-tha-izzince of heart has ta be stopped.
> ==>
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