#Marmite the Cat

[herooak]

pov: i just booped you

[emergencysurvivalkit]

Marmite wants to know if you've eaten/hydrated enough today? Have you unclenched your jaw? Have you been kind to yourself? Hmm?

Please tell Marmite. And if the answer is no, try and do a couple of those things. Marmite believes in you

[swaggertron9000]

Yeah do ive had a cat since about early February?

Anyways heres some photos of him since i dont think ive shared any here. His names marmite and hes such a silly boy

I have joked that we should have named him nightwing because how much of a drama queen he is, and that his collar's blue (it is not a joke, i would have if i could have)

[tom-bakers-scarf]

My cat, after eating her own breakfast, making a valiant attempt to eat her sister’s breakfast, and now trying to steal my entire piece of toast out of my hand/mouth: you would starve me? Condemn me? Force me to forage and hunt for prey (biscuits) like a common stoat (my other cats)?! How dare you! How dare you! Give me your toast! You don’t deserve such luxuries! It’s mine! Mine! Ha! I licked it!

[albatris]

I would lay down my entire life for Tiramisu

you and me both, my friend, you and me both

I mean LOOK at the guy, right? just look at this guy!!!!

......he hold him leggy.....

[stevemaythe1st]

Cat on toast prowl (brown e had a cat who was OBSESSED with Marmite on toast & would lie in wait!) #cat #marmite #toast #stevemaythe1st https://www.instagram.com/p/CnpR6cTKnyT/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[galofmanyinterests]

The stray outdoor cat I've been feeding for a long time who is very timid to trust just got on my knee for the first time ever..... I may never move again

[magneto-was-fucking-right]

The Ghost Next Door - Chapter 1

Prompt: After suffering an almost lethal injury in combat, Simon "Ghost" Riley expected a dull, and uneventful leave back at his shitty apartment. His new next-door neighbor ruins his plans. Pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x Reader (named Riley Thomas for plot purposes)

Chapter 2 Chapter 3

Disclaimer: slow burn; neighbor!Simon; will eventually contain very graphic descriptions of smut;

Chapter summary: Ghost returns home to find he has a new noisy neighbor: a socially awkward veterinarian with questionable cooking skills. Word Count: 1.5k

When Simon Riley limply walked in on his flat after four months of deployment, he could barely breathe. The stale air from the lack of proper ventilation had trapped in the humidity of the past rainy days, the walls poorly insulated, and therefore, moldy. As per usual, the place looked terribly dull, the scarce decorative elements inadequately arranged, but certainly well-fitting to the dingy apartment complex in Manchester.

Dropping his duffel bag by the door dismissively, instead of opening the curtains and letting in the evening light, he first headed to the fridge, analyzing its usual contents: two beers, a carton of milk (most likely spoiled by now), a jar of marmite and an old noodles container from the Chinese restaurant he liked, stinking up the place.

“Forgot ya little fucker” he made sure to remember to throw it out later, before grabbing a beer and plopping himself on the couch, careful enough to not hurt his wounded leg any further. But as soon as he grabbed the remote from under his thigh, ready to turn on the news and resituate himself with the current ongoings of the British populace, he finally paid attention to the commotion next door.

“Bloody fucking hell” He groaned “What’s all this racket?”

He heard thumping, scratching, something breaking, quick footsteps and what seemed to be a gentle voice cooing “oh no, please, not again”. Just as he was processing the fact that he didn’t remember having any horizontal neighbors since he first signed the lease (one of the main reasons why he even signed in the first place), an aggressive knock on his door made him instantly rise to his feet, grabbing a black facemask from his bag and moving silently to peek through the peephole.

“Mr. Riley!” The old woman on the other side called out, still knocking, and Simon sighed deeply in annoyance. “I know you’re in there, I saw you come in earlier.”

“Fucking cunt” He muttered under his breath, weighting whether ignoring her would make her leave at once (it wouldn’t, and they both knew it).

He took a deep breath before unlocking the door, regretting it immediately.

“There ya are” She started, shoving a couple papers on his chest, and forcing a pen between his calloused fingers “I need you to sign this immediately.”

“What are you on about?” He tried his best to keep it polite and cordial, but the woman’s presence and constant complaints always filled him with inevitable rage.

“Your neighbor” She pointed to the door next to his, where a great deal of noise still stemmed from the walls “She cannot and will not stay here. She is insufferable.”

Well that makes two, innit? He thought to himself, biting down his tongue.

Faced with his menacing silence, she carried on with her melodramatic monologue:

“It’s a petition to kick her out, I’m getting everyone to sign, even the new tenants, then I’ll arrange a meeting with the landlady for a formal hearing.”

“What the fuck did she do?” Simon inquired, clearly irritated, reading the five signatures on the first page. He was pretty sure three of them were in the same handwriting.

She looked at him indignantly, extending her arms at the door once again, indicating the ongoing clatter.

“She has a bloody jungle in there! Cats, dogs, birds, and God forbid, rats if you can believe it!”

“Mrs. Parsons, I think we all had rats in our apartments at some point this year.”

“Not as pets! It’s disgusting, and everyone’s been complaining about the noise!”

He glared at her indifferently, eager to return to the comfort of his privacy and wallow in his frustration, giving his leg some much needed rest. She stepped back, seemingly realizing that Mr. Riley was in one of his moods, not keen on indulging in useless chatter or gossip.

“Right, well, not interested.” He tried to return the signatures, to which she vehemently refused, pushing them back to his chest.

“At least consider it Mr. Riley. She lives right next to you and the walls are thin. Your signature’s the most important one.”

“Will do.” He shut the door on her face, mindlessly throwing the papers and the facemask on the coffee table as he limped back to the couch and turned on the tv. He hissed after realizing he had ripped his stitches as he sat down aggressively, a splotch of blood soaking the fresh bandage he had been arranged on base.

“Fuckin’ hell” he sighed tiredly, deciding he would deal with it first thing in the morning.

***

As the pandemonium progressively decreased throughout the night, Simon had fallen deep asleep on the sofa, tv still on and feet kicked up on the table. But when there was a new knock on the door, this time softer, he felt like he could have only been sleeping for five minutes, exhaustion and grumpiness still ingrained in his bones.

“What now?” He groaned to himself, massaging his sore neck, and finally remembering to kick off his boots. He was so used to sleeping fully clothed, often even geared up and ready to go, that he always took some time to remember how to act like a civilian again once he was back home.

Just as he readjusted himself to go back to sleep, his lids semi closed and arms crossed over his chest, one more knock arose anger in his belly at his newly interrupted rest. Frustrated, he sighed before getting up, easing up the pressure on his wound as the sharp pain reminded him of the ruptured sutures from the previous evening.

Facemask on once again, Simon opened the door aggressively, expecting Mrs. Parsons to come collect her newfound project in ruining other people’s lives, and therefore halfway of saying “What the fuck do you-”

“I-I’m so sorry! I know it’s early and I was probably a huge bother all night, but I wanted to apologize before leaving for work and-”

“Slow down.” He commanded, stopping the young woman’s panicked rant. He had barely rubbed sleep from his eyes and his mind wasn’t yet ready to take in another dreadful monologue. He observed her intently, as he often did to potential threats (usually concealed by the shadows), but as the circumstances proved different, she observed him right back. He always felt strange and vulnerable without the skull mask, regardless of the black facemask covering half of his visage anyway.

She couldn’t possibly be over 25 years old, her bright and cheerful complexion not carrying the weight of the tired lines that came at 30. She was considerably shorter than him, but still quite tall for a woman, her frame concealed under oversized scrubs that seemed ridiculously out of place; her hair messily tied in a long braid. She held up a tray with what seemed to be freshly baked cookies, but about half of them were burnt.

As she smiled nervously, he noticed one of her canines was slightly chipped, and the small white scar across her right eyebrow almost distracted him from the dimples. If she had noticed him stare at the small imperfections, she didn’t seem bothered at all, continuing her anxious speech as if she had practiced in front of the mirror beforehand.

“Right, I’m sorry, I really hoped we could meet in better circumstances.”

“What time is it?” Simon groaned, looking at his wrist to check his watch. “Fuckin’ hell, it’s 6 in the bloody morning.”

“I know, I’m sorry, I was gonna bake you a cake and offer you tea, but I was called in unexpectedly yesterday an-”

“That’s lovely and all, but why are you knocking on my door at six in the morning with half-burnt cookies?” He interrupted moodily and almost regretted it once he saw her smile falter and her cheeks redden in shame.

“Oh…” She lowered the tray, her eyebrows scrunched as she analyzed the overcooked treats and tried hard to recover. “Well, I just wanted to apologize for all the noise from last night before I left for work. I feel terrible about it and-”

“Apology accepted.” He stepped back, ready to shut the door.

“Wait!” She held it with her foot, nervously trembling under his cold gaze. She took a deep breath, and he sighed, his head slightly tilted to the right, as if deciding what to think of the socially awkward woman meddling in his business. “I just…”

“Go on.” He encouraged, trying to speed up the end of the uncomfortable encounter.

“I’m new here.” she blurted out “I moved in about a month and a half ago and people don’t seem to like me very much already” she sighed, and he noticed the dark bags under her tired eyes.

“So I’ve heard.”

“I work at the Vet clinic a few streets nearby-”

“I didn’t sign it.” He interrupted once again, and she would certainly be frustrated if she wasn’t so happy about what he said.

“The petition?”

“Yeah.”

“Really?” Her face gleamed with relief “Because I-”

“I’m due to consider it.” He added, her expression quickly dropping to disappointment.

“Why?” Her soft, defeated tone could almost pull on his heartstrings. If he had one.

“I don’t know if you’ll bother me yet.” Now he was just messing with her.

“I won’t!” She argued, defensively.

“Alright. I’ll think about it over that cake.” He closed the door, leaving her open mouthed in shock, the tray of cookies still in hand.

He heard her softly press her forehead to the door after a thoughtful moment, and then yell out:

“Are you allergic to anything?”

“People.”

A/N: I'm back! I wrote this months ago but only just decided to start posting these series :) I LOVE writing porn but when it comes with a cute backstory attached it's just *chef's kiss*. I plan on keeping the chapters simple and comforting - writing has been really helping me cope with seasonal depression, and the boredom of routine in general. New chapter coming soon... Enjoy!

[marleysfinest]

deets: pre-chicago. no bumping uglies, just embarrassing yearning

c/w: food

w/c: 665

   “Please! You’re not even gonna try?!”   

Marley whinged in the same tone as a five-year-old as she waved the slice of toast in Reiner’s direction. It was taking everything she had not to let the laughter get the better of her and spray crumbs over him, although the sight was deeply amusing. At a truck stop just outside of Lincoln, Nebraska, the two had met outside of their respective buses to stretch their legs in the crisp morning air as Marley scoffed her breakfast of Marmite on toast. Reiner had taken one sniff and grimaced, almost physically recoiling. He wasn’t any more swayed once he’d been told just what it was she was eating.

   “No, I’m not!” he argued, ducking away as Marley thrust the bread towards him. He was adamant that he wouldn’t be persuaded, although Marley’s persistence could be convincing. He battled against the smile he could feel growing as she chased him around the deserted forecourt, determined not to let any weakness show. 

   “It’s brown and sticky and it stinks! Think for a minute about what you’re asking me to eat!”

   Marley wasn’t about to let up the chase, although she did slow her pace for a moment.

   “Reiner, I know for a fact you’ve put worse things than this in your mouth,” she teased, “c’mon, just take a bite.” 

   The blonde shook his head and laughed at her tactics, struggling to believe that she’d resort to foul play just for some yeast extract. They’d been playing this game of cat and mouse for a few minutes, but Marley was already a little out of breath, her stamina nowhere near that of Reiner’s. She knew that he could keep this up for far longer than she could, which just made her all the more determined. If she could just get close enough… 

   “The hell are you guys doing?” 

   Onyankopon’s voice pierced the quiet as he emerged from the Helos bus, one hand cradling his espresso and the other stuffed into the pocket of his pyjamas. He observed Marley and Reiner standing facing each other like cowboys about to duel, standing their ground as if their lives depended on it. Neither one turned to look at Ony, instead opting to keep their eye on their opponent to register their next move. 

   “Mar’s trying to get me to eat some gross British spread thing,” shouted Reiner, his eyes fixed on Marley. “She’s being pretty weird about it.”

   “It’s Marmite!” yelled Marley, hoping Ony’s British background would help her case. 

   “Oh, nah!” Ony grimaced, waving a hand as if to shoo her away, “Rei, don’t let her get near you with that shit!”

   Marley’s shoulders fell in defeat. Damn. I could’ve sworn he said he liked it before. 

   Two against one, Marley knew she was fighting a losing battle, but wasn’t prepared to give up. In one last attempt, she bolted towards Reiner, hand outstretched, hoping to catch him off guard with a more direct, aggressive approach. 

   She leapt at Reiner before he could run, although he’d spun enough so that she landed on his back. Her arms wrapped around his neck as he instinctively hooked his beneath her knees to stop her from falling as he stumbled across the parking lot. Reiner had nowhere left to run as Marley thrust the sticky slice of toast in his face, and with deep reluctance he succumbed to a bite. He slowed to a stop but his hold on Marley’s legs remained, as did her grip on him, as he chewed curiously. Suddenly he spun around, almost sending Marley flying, as he found Ony in the doorway to their bus.

   “It’s not bad!” he called, mouth still half-full, “she knows what she’s talkin’ about!” 

   Ony shook his head. 

   “You’ve changed, man,” he said defeatedly before lowering his voice to a whisper, “you really gotta be pussy drunk to be eating that…”

   “What?” called Reiner.

   “Nothing!” Ony answered, raising his espresso cup in a toast, “enjoy your grime!”

divider @/saradika

[herooak]

marmite continues to be the perfect model for my knitted jumpers

[leithillustration]

Fan Fic Fuck it Friday

All the f's because I'm kind of procrastinating massively rn I'm having such a lovely time taking part in CORB this year and I'm sooo excited to see what @larkral and @scribble-tier write based on my silly pics. In the meantime, the discord chat keeps giving me so many ideas for cute things I could write, if only I had the time!! So far I have: ✨ Wild dragon!Simon leaving offerings of dead things on Baz's door step like cats do for their owners. Does he think Baz is incapable of feeding himself, or does he just adore him and doesn't know how to show it? Does Baz know who the dragon is, or that there's a dragon at all??

✨ Baz loves marmite, Simon thinks its the worst thing since the mage. Baz likes rhubarb, Simon has never tried it. He doesn't know what a parsnip is. Maybe Baz is a chef in this one.

✨ Simon learning to knit- badly. Penny tries to teach him but has no patience for it as she's only ever knitted with magic. Baz asks Simon why he is leaving bits of wool around the house and Simon shows him the dreadful attempt at a scarf he was trying to make as a birthday gift for Baz. Turns out Baz is a master of knitting- Fiona taught him in a soft moment, having taught herself when she learned her sister was pregnant with Baz.

I might need to write the last one when winter sets in, to give my brain something cosy and warm to play with :3

[swaggertron9000]

Stinky man was wet from the rain /pos

[dilatorywriting]

Re: the question about Grim in the fics (not the same anon, just throwing in my two cents)

I find that Grim, and mascot characters in general really, tend to be like marmite. Some people really like them, other's really hate them,

I'm more in the neutral territory. Grim is okay, and I mainly find him cute as a cat. However after a recent event in the JP server (which I shall not spoil save for this one thing that Grim does), where Grim literally rolls around on the floor and throws and honest to god tantrum like a toddler - I gotta say I can see where the "I hate mascots" people are coming from. I'm probably biased because it was in front of my favorite boy, so my view of "it's the most embarrassing thing Grim has ever done" is probably skewed there.

The point I was getting at, though, is that only including Grim when he has a decisive role to play in the story (like you're doing now) is probably the best route in my opinion. From both a writing and reading pov

I also admittedly go back and forth on Grim sometimes. Granted, I saw the new SR of him, in his robe with his lil' ears all poked up underneath and almost collapsed out of sheer cuteness, so like. There is that bias lol And I also think he's been allowed character growth from the beginning to where we are now, so I can't fault him for that. But he does, as you pointed out, frequently suffer from 'Anime Comedic Relief Syndrome.' I want to cuddle him endlessly and give him lots of treats, but like, I also wouldn't want to go on a full adventure with him necessarily. In the same way I like to cuddle my flatmate's cat, but when I have to do actual work for things the little idiot needs to be booted out of the room before I murder him

[squiddokiddo]

Hey there!

I know Gordon is your favourite but do you have any headcanons for the other brothers?

Yeah, I know I definitely have some but now I'm being asked about it I'm drawing a blank lol, here's a list of some.

𖦹*⊹.𖦹*⊹.𖦹*⊹.𖦹*⊹.𖦹

Scott headcanons:

The only straight Tracy brother.

Likes cooking but doesn't get time to do it very often.

Scott's pancakes are the best.

Practically lives on black coffee and espresso shots.

As a kid, one of his dream jobs was a theme park ride tester. Others include aerial display pilot, airline pilot, falconer and a chocolate taster.

Virgil headcanons:

Demi-romantic Asexual.

One of only two people on the island who will eat marmite, the other is Grandma. (Parker also loves marmite, spread generously on toast)

Had a bit of an emo phase during his teens which later evolved into a grunge phase.

He can handle all sorts of gross things, being a medic and everything, but childbirth makes him a bit squeamish, a total of two people have unexpectedly fallen into labour during a rescue and delivering those babies was super challenging but very rewarding for him.

Virgil keeps all sorts of essential items for any rescuees he may have on board Thunderbird 2 including the obvious like, water, food and medical supplies but also: sanitary products, baby products, medicines for allergies, talcum powder and eczema cream, pet food and products, fidget and plush toys, ect.

Tried to eat pinecones as a toddler, Jeff and Lucy had to keep a close eye on him at Christmas because he'd try to shove their giant redwood pinecone decorations in his mouth. He grew out of his taste for pinecones when he was three.

Alan headcanons:

Bisexual

Gets god awful acne, as he's gotten older it's settled down a bit but he still gets pretty bad outbreaks from time to time.

Into 2000's and gen z culture, lucky for him his dad knows all about that. Unlucky for Grandma she remembers the trends Jeff was into when he was young.

Loves Vines and quotes them all the time with Gordon. His favourite Vines are probably the Freshavacadoo one and Hurricane Tortilla.

Dog person, has never really gotten along with cats despite still liking them. His favourite dog breed is a golden retriever.

Is an absolute legend at Mario Kart, John taught him how to play when they were kids.

John Headcanons:

Unlabeled/questioning - he isn't sure of his sexuality, it's not something he's too worried about right now though.

Has social anxiety, he copes very well with interacting with people at a distance like video calls and messaging but struggles a lot with face to face interactions.

Doesn't really play videogames that much but on the rare occasion that he does, he absolutely demolishes his competition whether that be on Mario Kart, Pokémon or Tetris.

Was into 80's and 90's video and arcade games as a kid, more for the fascination with programming and the machines' inner workings rather than the games themselves.

Hates ice skating, dealing with gravity is difficult enough without walking on a slippery surface with blades on his feet.

Can be the most sarcastic bitch if he's in a mood.

𖦹*⊹.𖦹*⊹.𖦹*⊹.𖦹*⊹.𖦹

[greatwesternrailway]

someone bought a bengal cat on a lead and harness into the shop, her name is marmite and she is one of the softest cats i’ve ever petted, i will love her forever

[whitegoldtower]

Things I think would break Ancano’s brain:

- me. I’m like marmite; he’d either love me or hate me. Probably the latter. I’m the Mort to his King Julian. I cannot be killed. I will not leave him the fuck alone. Yes I leave flowers in his room and yes I got rid of the courier’s body in his wardrobe. I single-handedly both enrage him and cover his tracks for him because I don’t want him to die/get caught. I tidy up his books and also mess up his desk in the same sitting. I turn myself into a cat with alteration and illusion magic specifically to make him pet me and then turn back into a mer and watch him freak out when he looks down and sees my nasty little face in his lap, grinning up at him. I am a planetary level threat to all of Skyrim but I have chosen to spend my time following him around as his number one hype man. I cannot be stopped.