#Maybe i wanna cuddle and smooch my friends! Assuming they would be chill with it

[chartreuxcatz]

*blinks*

Bro, idk what I am.

[feuqueerfire]

Not Me Live Blogging - Episodes 6 - 10

Previously: Episodes 1 - 5

Rewarding myself for doing 30 minutes of schoolwork with these ~13 minute parts lmao the ratio of work : Not Me is 2:1.

Episode 6 (Mar 18, 2022)

6-1

Sitting here unable to determine whether this is real fr or one of Gumpa's trainings

Woah, Sean's "Don't hurt my friend!" So White immediately comes over when he realizes Sean's in danger and Sean defending him... interesting

Okay but why would White spill, like just say fake shit... like there's one more guy who orders us around, we don't know anything about him, or two more people and one of them's a girl and here's this fake name or literally anything that's not the truth but not so fake that, if the people were like okay call them, they wouldn't be just able to call someone from the gang or smth

Anyway, as soon as he said it and I heard someone say dang it, Black or whatever, I took a 30 minute break from watching lol. Nothing hurts more than watching friends' betrayal. I wonder how this'll affect their gang dynamics. Would the old Black have done this? White said he'd leave Sean for dead in a real life situation but instead he betrayed others for him, kind of? Ack, I wanna know but I don't wanna actually watch it.

Holy shit White's "I did it just to save you. Your life is worth more than you think!" with tears down his cheeks

So like everybody's extremely suspicious now, right? They don't quite trust Black anymore? Also, I do wonder if White's wrong that Black never spoke about having a twin; it's not like he knows his brother well

You could not pay me enough to be in that room right now with all this tenseness

"You don't see like the same person. The Black I used to know." Dude, will they figure it out by the end of this ep? I'd be pleasantly surprised if at least one person for sure does, even if they keep the secret

Drunk Sean cute >.<

Intense conversation about how much you want your frenemy to live... thoroughly enjoyed it

Edit after watching the episode: There's this comment on r/boyslove discussion of episode 6 that gives more context about White's crossing road analogy. Wild that the episode was released on the same day something like that was being discussed.

6-2

The intense acting for Sean is quite good; a good portrayal of anger and anguish without it being too over the top or stilted

White witnessing Sean's nightmares and then Sean seeking to cuddle/hide against him is so intimate and something that can cause me so much damage. Not to mention that seeing him in this state of vulnerability is a secret White's keeping for him.

Followed by bickering in the morning, exactly, so true

Dang, the friends are so chill with each other now. Did you guys discuss what the actual procedure would be if somebody got caught fr?

6-3

Is this fingerprint thing gonna come to haunt Sean

Sean wearing the mask really makes you notice the ruthless eyes

Y'know, I wonder if they could've gotten away with just regular blue masks this time, like White grabbed a lab coat or whatever anyway, might've just had the mask to complete the outfit and you could maybe get away with not being suspicious while wearing that

"Can't you give me a little encouragement?" ngl, hearing this surprised me in this situation. woahh vulnerability

No truly, Sean vulnerable near White is sooo good to me

Dude, this Yok and Gram talking about their love lives (or rather just crushes/feelings) while waiting to cause extreme chaos is suchhh a good scene.

Also, I know Gram said Yok doesn't know who Gram has a crush on but I'm assuming that's because Gram doesn't wanna be interrogated and it is, in fact, Black. C'mon, please, his whole spiel lined up with it being Black. Or maybe he's talking about Eugene lmfao

Although, as an aside, Gram/Yok have so much chemistry too? Maybe they can have a little fling, a little smooch, before they end up with their main ships

I've been focusing more on the characters and their relationships because that's generally my favourite part of shows, so I guess I should talk a bit about the plot as well. I think this is a poorly thought out plan on Sean's part because customers won't necessarily uniformly boycott Tawi's products. I assume they'll be upset because Tawi should've tighter control, better quality assurance (and I mean... they still could. After all this fiasco, Tawi's company could ensure the quality of everything and find out that there's bitterness) but if it becomes public knowledge that someone sabotaged the drinks, wouldn't it gain Tawi sympathy as well? Like oh, I guess people are trying to tear him down. If we know anything from seeing how people react to Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk, etc, it's that people can have overflowing empathy for them lmfao. Anyway, who knows if White'll even follow through since he's been so against the whole thing.

6-4

There is something seriously wrong with Yok, bless him

White, what are you planning...

Sean, delete the CCTV footage before you go T.T

What does it say on the door? Some sort of exit?

Woah, what an intense, somewhat surreal ending. We know Sean's upset with him and I was anticipating a confrontation, maybe some tussling, but not full on hit him on the head with the helmet + strangulation, holy shit. Off and Gun both did great in that scene

I fully get Sean's anger though, like we did alllll of this and risked everything and you backed out? I wonder what White did with the identical container + the photos ?? And why isn't he saying why he'd independently changed the plans?

I've mentioned the gradual vulnerability between the two but Sean and White have also clashed at every moment, even amongst the vulnerability, and I'm hooked by that too. I wanna see how they'll overcome it

White I wanna know what you did !!! My only guess right now is that he's taking proof pictures to show that if we wanted, we COULD have poisoned you or done who knows what because Tawi's company is shit at what they do and they don't care about customers? But again, who's to say it wouldn't have been checked after all this commotion to ensure that the product wasn't tempered with?

lmfao White's been through so much, I wonder if Black's feeling the effects of being beat the shit out of while in his coma

Next is episode 7, is that the one where there's some pride stuff? I've seen some gifs of it and seen it referred to as Under The Flag scene. I'll look forward to it.

I think thus far, the show has done a remarkably good job of making you care about all the characters and their little offshoot relationships with each other.

Also, people said the romance is extremely slow in this, which is true for Dak/Yok and Gram/Black (if this one happens) but there are so many Sean/White moments? They had and continue to have a tumultuous relationship, White is hiding who he really is, they're very slowing becoming more vulnerable to each other and we also get like the bed-sharing scenes; personally, I'm satisfied with the pace so far. I'm waiting Gram/Black to happen but who knows when Black'll wake up, so the slowness of that makes sense. The Dan/Yok part I do wish was a bit quicker but that's mostly because I want to know what everybody loves about them because they're like a small blip on my radar; I like Gram/Nuch better than them and they're exes.

Episode 7 (Mar 18, 2022)

7-1

The first scene continues to be intense and finally White revealed his plan. What he said was all true and we the audience are supposed to have seen the flaws in Sean's plan but I love a blinded-by-rage consumed-by-need-for-revenge character, so I get Sean's reaction as well

Me watching Gram checking up on White knowing GramBlack isn't gonna happen: ;-;

Yok's wild fr I know I say this every episode but him just joking about how they can land sooo many years in prison + teasing about how Sean's plan sucked

Holy shit, okay this actually just got a few times more interesting. Thus far, stuff has been fairly surface level with some ideological butting heads with gang vs White but now, Yok and his mom's disagreement is actually interesting. Yok wants to promote disabled people's rights but his actions have direct negative impact on his mom's work. His mother disapproves of what he's doing (though she doesn't know it). We get to see how the gang's actions have affected ordinary people, even when White tried to minimize the damage

7-2

Why are they wearing the same masks as when they go commit crimes and Gram being like "Black, we did it!" in this crowd alkjdf esp when they were throwing out names in the factory, too T.T Be careful, kids

and then them taking off his damn mask as well while everybody else is masked up, oh brother

This show/White focuses so little on actually following up with what happened to Black that only hearing Eugene talking about Black being like "I can be killed any moment" reminded me that White's whole reason for being here is to find out what happened to him

I want Black to wake up because I wanna see how Gun pulls it off

Damn wtf Eugene said she kissed Gram but actually Gram gave her a sleezy ass kiss while she's drunk and crying over a break up/worrying about Black. Agh you take GramBlack from me for This?!

Seeing Eugene cry so much is so </3 Hope she gets a happy ending, whether it be with Black after he comes back or with somebody else or single, and that we get to see her show up with her dance

7-3

This episode is just so fucking queer, it's great

I dunno what I want to happen with Gram like I was like Gram/Nuch! but then Gram/Black! and now Gram/Nuch's interaction was great again as always and I want them to get back together aghhh I wonder if they're angling for Gram/Eugene because that's the most boring of them all

I wish it wasn't the case but it's so rare to feel actual queerness in BL, especially one filled with so much pride for it. We had Bad Buddy, which was queer and saw positivity in queerness, and things like Semantic Error where the queerness is normalized enough to be unremarkable, and I very much enjoyed both but this one is like making a statement about queerness and I'm deeply enjoying this too. I wish I could go to a queer event.

Woahh okay DanYok finally and I really enjoyed this little capture. I wasn't as captivated by their very few interactions like others were but I can definitely get on board

7-4

Yok's "Police! I'm being kidnapped!" and "Let's have a fist fight if you dare." are so funny, love him. Also wonder if all this is making him rethink his choice of crush or if all this manhandling is doing something for him

"If you want it back, search for it, officer" Oh my bad for asking too soon, seems like it's doing something for him

his cheeky "go for it" expression when Dan starts searching with his bag

"Where could it be? Should I take my pants off?" Okay, it's 100% doing something for him, my mans is fully deranged, good for him

ACAB, so true Yok; i mean, you still fell for him though so

Umm this caressing ?! Feels so suddenl, dude, we're gonna find you someone better, there are so many people out there. For example, let's think back to the moments you had with Gram

Hello, Yok you already drew Dan and his titties once in art class. Though I guess he didn't draw his full face then

Personally, I find Yok more endearing and a better actor, so I wish Dan was giving me a little more to work with but still, I'll admit they have explosive chemistry. I had to hide my smile in my sleeve while watching cuz I'm in the living room.

Ayo, this ending SeanWhite scene. The way the door closed made it seem so suggestive lol

I guess they'll speak about what actually happened and Sean will apologize. Sean and White were very friendly in the under the flag scene, which feels maybe a little too quick but I read some people saying that mostly came from relief and euphoria of such an event and I think I agree. Sean realized throughout the episode that his plan wouldn't have worked and even what they did now has had unintended repercussions (Yok's mom losing her job) but conveying that to White in that public, happy setting wasn't the time for it. I'm excited to see how their conversation goes and how they progress.

I wonder if there's something about episode 7s that just speak to me. My favourite Bad Buddy and Semantic Error episodes are episode 7. I don't know if this is my favourite Not Me episode so far (I don't think I have a distinct favourite yet, the episodes kinda blur together and more than episodes, in my head it's just one long story thread) but it's so good and impactful!

Anyway, half way through! This show takes up so much of my daily time, whether it be because I'm watching it or reading the r/boys_love threads on it or going through Tumblr posts for the last episode that I watched.

I have to be at the library for several hours tomorrow and I know I should just try to focus on work, so... I'll attempt.

Episode 8 (Mar 19, 2022)

8-1

I've been looking forward to them talking it out. The apology was chiller and friendlier than I kind of wanted (like Sean fucking hit his head with a metal helmet + severely choked him) but I guess they both knew where they stood due to the eye contact + under the flag hand holding.

As expected, Sean's dad was the one in the drug dealer case he mentioned.

I wanna know how their relationship will overcome Sean finding out White's not Black. Like he thinks the person he's spilling his guts out to right now (White) is the same guy (Black) who he gave him a purpose/direction after his parents' death and loss of everything. How will he reconcile with the fact that they're not the same, he's been lied to, and who does he even like? Ahh I hope they handle this in an interesting and nuanced manner

8-2

Umm this caressing ?! Feels so sudden lol I thought Sean was just gonna check if White's awake and then maybe do some sleuthing or something?

What is going on am I dreaming? Actually, maybe one of them is dreaming because are SeanWhite at a position for Sean to be actually doing this?

Hm, I guess Sean considers them to be - especially since he told so many secrets to White last night, maybe he feels he can caress and tease him

I knew there was some art scene were one character painted/drew the other naked but in my head it was some emotional connection between an established relationship. Come to learn it's Yok being deranged about Dan, yet being thoughtful for his art project

"My intention is nothing more than just drawing" he says with this cheeky grin

Yok is so kljdf charming truly

As a lover of characters being vulnerable, woah. My heart ached for Dan in that moment

Also, um terrible thought but what if Dan's the reason Sean's father was killed? Dan talks about doing something bad and being unable to reclaim justice for it and I'm assuming we'll learn more about it later and hm maybe?

Oh nooo, Yok is so tender T.T I love tenderness so much

I am falling more and more into DanYok despite being ambivalent about them in the beginning. I know as of episode 13 they're broken up and I'm curious to know why

So Sean is sleuthing, even if it wasn't with malicious intentions at the start - just slightly nosy. Eek, I wanna know if he finds out about the Black/White thing this episode

8.3

lmfao ?! okay first um Gun looks very um good all tied up and squirmy ummmm and he had those shorts on so that we could see his thighs wow nice thanks Gun ='_'= <- this is blushing not whiskers.

I want more of Sean's reactions and thought process right now!!! Clearly he's found something out and is taking precautions against something by tying White/Black up but he's still so playful while taunting White about being tied up

Woah, would Sean come back to find Todd? What if Black and Todd had had a fallout and Sean knows about it?

Girl wtf is this Gram - Eugene - Black thing. I hope Eugene finds a nice partner who's not either of these two (unless the real Black actually does love her a lot, in which case maybe but I don't like Gram/Eugene at all like Eugene doesn't seem to like him at all + I hated that he kissed her while she was drunk and heartbroken and worried)

Woah the Sean - Tawi bathroom. I don't even know what to think about Sean's behaviour. I think his grief and anger make him do stupid things because now Tawi knows of him and his vendetta, that Sean has a reason to want Tawi to fail. On the other hand, he's a 20 something year old who's lost everything and has so many unprocessed emotions, so my heart goes out to him

8-4

I like Namo, she's so pretty and cool

I cannot comprehend Sean and White's relationship. So the tying up thing was just a friendly taunting teasing thing? Unless Sean has found something out but is still like okay, interesting, I'll keep it to myself which... does that align with what we know about him so far? hmm

Sean saying "They're not very skilled at spying. You're the right one." O.O okay, so maybe he does know and choosing not to reveal

Watching Thai shows just make me miss being able to go on roofs

I keep saying Yok is deranged but Sean is truly fucked up, who does a trust fall like that ?!

holy shit ?! the kiss??

First of all, Sean taking White out to an abandoned building to spy on a drug warehouse as a romantic getaway. This show is so good about these unhinged romantic scenarios

Okay, I am so thoroughly confused about how to feel. I couldn't fully grasp what Sean thought of White in this episode because I was unsure about how much Sean knew/figured out. I couldn't fully grasp White's thoughts toward Sean in this episode because he tied him up and left him, so what even? But they act so friendly and tenderly as well and then that kiss! Sean falling for Black not knowing it's White vs Sean having maybe figured out that it's not Black. Both could result in interesting storylines.

Great episode, as always, though slightly weaker when it comes to consistency in SeanWhite's relationship

I don't know why but I feel like this is one of those episodes that'll be even better on a rewatch. The very beginning of the episode through me off, so the whole episode I was waiting for maybe Sean to realize Black's not Black and couldn't fully appreciate the character development and relationship dynamics we got. Since I now know what to expect, I kinda wanna rewatch to soak it all in. Not now, though, I don't have time to rewatch now - I need to know what happens next, but like after we're done with the series next week.

Oh yeah, this is the rooftop scene people were talking about. I remember hearing something about a rooftop kiss while it was airing.

Also, I did rewatch the last few minutes of the episode with a different mindset than before and it did get to me more, I enjoyed it a lot

Read a spoiler that in the book, Sean knows Black and White as children... -_- I hate being spoiled, I wish they'd spoiler tag novel spoilers. Oh well, I guess it's my fault for reading every comment on the On-Air r/boys_love thread but I love reading other people's thoughts and analysis too much to give it up, especially when I'm enjoying the show. Anyway, if that's still the case in the show, it gives more ground to my guess that Sean knows White isn't Black. I wish I was in his head, wanna examine his little thoughts lol

Episode 9 (Mar 19, 2022)

9-1

I forgot they were gonna have to sleep in this little camp tent together !!

Straight for the ear and the piercings lsakf this show is so ?!

Holy shit White explicitly saying he likes what Sean's doing, my heart skipped a beat

Why does this feel so tender and loving T.T SeanWhite truly arrow straight to the heart

aksfjk;sdlf oh my gosh, White straight up asking would you be okay if I'm not Black? Bold as hell, reminds me of Pran asking Ink in Bad Buddy episode 4 if she likes Pat

White's tears T.T

Fucking ripping a button from your lover's shirt the first time you sleep together to keep as a momento... this show is making my brain melt out of my ears, it has me physically shivering fucking hell

lmfao not Black waking up because of his brother's intense emotions during sex (with Black's frenemy he has beef with nonetheless), that's so fucked up

White almost revealing his identity so many times to Sean and Sean just gently asking him about what's bothering him T.T I get it though, how do you even say like I know we just kissed and you've been under the impression that I'm a whole different person this entire time but I would just like to say that I'm his twin, please continue liking me and thinking that I'm hot <3

Like it's such a fragile thing, I get not wanting to disturb this budding relationship but also the deeper you get, the worse the fallout

This is of course ignoring the fact that I think Sean is aware that White isn't Black but White doesn't know that

Yok is soooo charming, his smile and his demeaner are very endearing and cheeky. I like him a lot

9-2

Man, Yok sure knows how to choose them. An NFT-seller cop who's also a murderer. I have no sympathy for him, I want Yok to get with someone else man, fuck but I know I'm super weak to any interactions Yok has with anybody, agh. This is how police propaganda works :D Even the murderer police officers deserve love, am I write? Agh, I wish Not Me of all shows didn't go through this route.

White waking Sean up with the sweetest kisses :< and them going on a walk together :< and still retaining all their teasing and some roughhousing but soft :<

9-3

A car ad in the middle of a chase scene

A promise sealed with a kiss and blood from that kiss, Yok is so deranged I love him

Wait, what? Were Sean and Namo dating or something? If yes, then Sean's a dick. If no, why does she care, can't I except Not Me to not give me an unreasonable female character? I like Namo soo much, I'll be so mad if they ruin her

Okay, she took the rejection really well. Good for her. If Not Me loved me, we'd get some Eugene/Namo but I don't think they love me so

Bro, give Gram some other story that's not just staring at Eugene

Aside but Eugene is soooo pretty

Finallyyyyyy I've been waiting for Black to show up for so long and every minute this episode I've been on the edge of my seat, looking for him

I was really curious how they'd do all this: have Gun have two characters, and have them meeting each other and have them meeting other people

Gun playing two characters: The editing is fairly good at making it seem like two seperate people and so is Gun. Black and White are the same but different. For a minute there, when he first revealed his face, Black reminded me a bit of Bright (2gether) lol. I'm curious to see how they'll continue with the editing and acting when Black and White have to be in a scene together with other people as well

Meeting each other: As emotionally charged as I'd hoped. We got both the tears and the hug while also getting Black slapping White. It was great, I enjoyed it, can't wait to see their sibling relationship continue on. The way one of them treats the other is also different and I enjoyed it. The way Black took back his piercings away from White made me feel something, even if I can't verbalize it. (r/boys_love episode 9 on-air thread has some interesting points about this, about how Black is taking back his life and how that might affect White)

Veeery curious to see how they'll handle Black actually meeting other people and Black/White in same scenes.

As we know, Todd's evil (or maybe Black's evil? That'd be fun [and heartbreaking for White], even though I don't know how they'd pull that off story-wise)

I loved this episode so much (except the Dan part... I can't believe we're supposed to sympathize with him aghhh seeing people just be like well, obviously he feels bad is so :/ like idk it would be different if it was a different show, maybe, but with the focus on Not Me being injustice, I hope it's endgame Dan/prison. Although, him alone going to prison isn't gonna do anything either because there are so many people involved in covering it up)

I started with a compliment but derailed lmfao lemme start again:

SeanWhite and Yok are incredible, I love them all. SeanWhite's tenderness is so good and the love scene was so tender and good without being awkward or evasive. I enjoyed finally getting to meet Black and I'm very much looking forward to more of him.

Edit: in the On-Air thread for this, someone said Sean doesn't call White by name (Black) anymore after finding his glasses/contacts in episode 8. I'll try to notice this on my rewatch later

Episode 10 (Mar 20, 2022)

10-1

I didn't finish reading all the comments on the On-Air thread and I didn't look at the ep 9 Tumblr posts, I just wanna know what happens next so here I am, at 9 am, the day before I have a test and two days before I have a big project due, waiting to see how it all unravels. Also, episode 14 is gonna be released in like 40 minutes, hoping I don't get spoiled !

I'm just so excited that Black's finally here !!

Woah Black's gonna pretend to be White to go see Todd? Wait this is episode 10 where Todd apparently tries to kill Black in a hot tub (that the KinnPorsche trailer showed lol)

I think the points Black/White's mom brings up are interesting because, like, to a certain degree it's true. There's corruption and even if you take down one thing, some new form of corruption will pop up to replace it, so it all feels so hopeless. I don't agree with her other points like "Society has it's own balance, everything happens for a reason" because that's just a fucked up to think about injustice and corruption

alsk;dfj "Everything we've talked about, pass it on to Black." White's not very good at being Black and I'm sure half the gang (Gumpa, Sean) already know it but he hasn't been called out like this yet

Damn losing both her sons, rip

I don't like how Gram keeps making moves on her while she's clearly not ready, like he kissed her while she was drunk/crying/heartbroken and now she got broken up with recently and isn't ready to move on and doesn't like Gram that way but he's asking her out now? Dude, learn some boundaries. We could've had Gram/Black yet here's what we get? I hope Eugene lives her best life away from him. I wonder if we'll get to see Eugene/Black

10-2

lmfao of course Gumpa comes up with a plan that needs a police right now

Yok sure knows how to make a goddamn statement, he's wild

Nah like how are you gonna expect Sean, whose father was murdered by the police, to trust a police officer into their gang? Not to mention this officer is the one who killed his dad !

Fighting in this found family friendship T.T hurts

Oh my god the part 3 preview ? "You think I can't tell between you and Black?" from Sean?? I don't look at previews, so this suddenly being on a screen startled me. I have a meeting in 7 minutes but part 3 is 12 minutes aghhh okay fuck it, I'll just start it

10-3

Sean's pause after being asked whether he's willing to give up his life for the cause T.T Thinking about Sean/White's conversation about his life being worth something T.T

Gumpa's love adviceee

alks;df Sean eager puppy calling Black and actual Black picking up all stoic and calculating lol cute I guess this will be the scene where maybe SeanBlack kiss under the bridge that I've heard everybody talk about

They're not actually gonna have Sean confess to Black, right aklsdfj tense and humourous

lmfao I really thought Sean would be able to tell them apart by demeanour, if not by how they look. So does this mean Sean, in fact, didn't figure out that White's not Black? Also the preview at the end of last part just didn't appear lmao, I avoid previews because I don't wanna be spoiled and because they're misleading sometimes so I guess I got both from that one

Oh my god ?!?!! Black's doing a number of him. Sean's just having friends turn on him today, huh? This scene is like a reversal of the Sean and Yok fight scene from part 2

What an incredibly fucked up situation.

Sean's desperation and confusion at this Black and also Black's desperation when he keeps telling Sean to fight back.

Also, Black dashing away, leaving a weak and hurt Sean by himself as if they aren't being watched and followed lmfao what a piece of work

I guess this is also Black's way of protecting White? He tells Sean to not come to him anymore, so this way Sean won't seek out White and keep him in this life and thus in danger? Kinda like a much more fucked up version of how Black broke up with Eugene

Anyway, my meeting got moved back so I was able to watch the whole part and I'm going right onto 10-4, holy shit

Also, episode 14 is premiering right now, so my whole Tumblr dashboard is just "This post contains filtered tags. #not me, #not me the series" lol Hope everyone's having fun and that it's a good, satisfying, incredible, worthy ending

10-4

I took a moment to read the rest of the episode 9 on-air thread. Interesting to see people theories of SeanWhite/Black after seeing Black beat the shit out of Sean lmao I did think this could happen in like ep 6 or something but after last two episodes I was under the impression Sean would know Black's not White and it wouldn't get to this situation. Curious to see how they're gonna deal with the fallout

Sean goes to Namo ? and says "Black left me" with his bloody, beat-up face ?! My jaw dropped

Namo so true like you asshole, you came here knowing how I feel about you

Namo is seriously so cool.

...why are there people surrounding the garage?

bro fuck !!! wtf is up with all this intensity holy shit

I feel like all thoughts have left me after this episode. The r/boys_love on-air episode 10 thread provides some interesting thoughts and motivations for the characters, so I'm enjoying reading that.

I'm so attached to all the characters and relationships and story thus far. I hope some things that I'm like ? on (like Sean not knowing Black's Black and White's not Black) are cleared up. I'm so looking forward to the last third of the show.

Also, I’ve been thinking after reading some comments, but how does it feel to be Black right now? You disappear and a completely different person with different personality and experience replaces you but none of your friends can tell. In fact, they embrace this new person into the group and prop him up as the leader. In some cases, the relationship even improves like with Sean and White. What a strange and heavy realization to see and feel how replaceable you are.

Next Up: Live Blogging Episodes 11 - 14

[velvetgons]

junkyu as your boyfriend

junkyu x reader

warnings; don’t think so!!, maybe some swearing

a/n; :(( i’m really sorry for the slow updates on the two fics i have in my list!! i’m just a lil bit of a slow writer with full fics! sorry again :) 

requested; yes!! thank you anon :) 

word count; 3.2k :))

gif credit; virgojunkyu on tumblr!! ((if tumblr removes it again nvonv) as always, please let me know if you’d like it removed at any point!! :) 

ok so! as always, first of all: how did you and this overgrown child meet?

well, well, i have a Different Trope to offer you all today!

so i genuinely think that getting to know junkyu wouldn’t actually be a romantic thing at first?

as in, you’d probably meet him through having multiple mutual friends and you’d go to a lil get together with your friendship group and it’s just like:

ur friend would walk you over to junkyu and some more friends and is just: “oh by the way this is the junkyu i mention a lot!!”

and so you say hello and have a conversation with him and the group of people around you and it’s just very casual

but you end up really liking junkyu because!! he’s so funny and has a bunch of lil endearing habits and so – entirely platonically!!! – you’d ask for his number so you could talk more

and junkyu would be really excited and probably say something like “omg yes!! i can’t wait to hang out :)) see you soon!!!!”

which, to be honest, was super cute and maybe you blushed but you honestly weren’t seeing it as any form of romance

and from then you’d talk a lot, probably lowkey every day, and it’d just be a really fun friendship that you’d formed out of nowhere!!

he’d call you randomly throughout the day to talk about weird things he’d been thinking about (example: “ok just another quick question but how can we be sure that dinosaurs don’t just live underwater now? the ocean is so unexplored and there’s rising sea levels, and we just. we have no idea. oh my god, do i tell a scientist about this?? have i Done Something??”)

you’d always go out for lunches and late breakfasts and coffee meetings together and just joke around :(( n he’s definitely the type to wanna get like. four different foods for the two of you and just share them so he can have a bit of everything

will make you go to the park with him and push him on the swings. no exceptions and no excuses it’s a Must in this friendship

and omg you’d just be really close and you’d spend so much time with one another that you could watch movies and chill out and when something you wanted to comment on happened in the movie neither of you would have to say it you’d just do The Look and he’d KNOW

you’d also sleepover at each other’s quite a lot and it would be entirely normal,, like he’s just gonna fall asleep on ur bed wrapped up in a blanket and ur gonna fall asleep minutes later under ur duvet

or you’d take naps together because he’d get real clingy n just kinda. lay on you. and fall asleep. and i mean, he’s just so warm and soft you can’t help but fall asleep with him

affection would also be a completely normal thing too!! pretty early on into the friendship he’d just say, “to warn u i am a very cuddly person so if that’s not ok with you please tell me now !!” and you’d tell him it’s ok bc uwu he’s still the cute lil friend you met recently and that’s an adorable habit

but oh boy do you regret that now. he will just. cling to you. all the time. he’d lift your arm to curl underneath it n snuggle into you. he’d hold ur hand 24/7. when he’d get sleepy and you’d be moving around he’d back-hug you and be leaning almost all of his weight against you. he’d fidget a lot when you sat to watch things until he was pretty much either spooning you or he’d be leant with his back against your chest.

and lowkey you’d think it was such a cute thing because :(( he’s so precious and he genuinely doesn’t seem aware that he’s doing it most of the time

oof he’d probably give you lil kisses sometimes too? and he seriously wouldn’t think of it as anything other than like ‘smooching ur friends is completely normal ! normalise platonic affection !’ so when he’s leaving he’s gonna give you a lil forehead kiss. he’d give you a lil cheek kiss when you hugged sometimes

and it’d become a habit that you’d probably pick up on too like? if he’s sat within smooching distance when ur quietly watching something together: （￣ε￣ʃƪ）if he’s smiling real big and his cheeks look kissable:（￣ε￣ʃƪ）

and junkyu seriously just thinks all of his feelings for you are completely platonic like?? he thinks that he wants to kiss you all the time because you’re his bestest bud. and he’s always so clingy with you because he’s got big appreciation for you and your friendship with him !

you’re kind of in the same position with it too, u know, because like. junkyu is super cute and he’s handsome and nice and you wanna mwah but?? you’ve also seen this boy trip over air on multiple occasions and he’s held your hair back for you when you’ve been sick and seen you ugly cry before so you assume it’s just because ur super close

but then…one day…he’s just kinda sprawled out across your bed while you get snacks from downstairs and it’s the day you’ve mentioned ((very passingly like: “oh, he’s cute”)) that a waiter at a café you go to a lot is kinda cute

and he’s laying there. and his mind is just spinning?? he’s created this whole picture in his head that: cute waiter boy will give you his number, you’ll go on dates with him, you’ll start to call him your boyfriend, all those long phone conversations and movie marathons and cuddle sessions will be transferred onto this new boyfriend, you’ll stop giving junkyu lil kisses because now you’ll wanna kiss your boyfriend, you’ll end marrying this boyfriend and junkyu will only see you twice a year at mutual friend parties like he used to

which leads him to picturing his life without your presence in it anymore and he’s convinced that he can feel genuine pain in his chest at the idea?? who’s he gonna order too much food with, who’s he gonna watch dumb movies with, who’s gonna tell jokes that make him laugh so much his stomach hurts, who’s gonna have #deep conversations with him??

and then he’s thinking about you doing all that with someone else…and thinking of someone else holding your hair back for you when you’re sick, and someone else knowing your different orders off by heart, and someone else getting to see you ugly cry and hear about your problems and…….he HATES it

by the time he hears you coming back upstairs he’d rush off into your bathroom because he hates to admit it but he’s crying a lil bit and his face is all scrunched up in disgust at the ideas in his head

and you arrive back to ur room to find no junkyu :(( so you go to your bathroom (best guess which was indeed: correct) and you knock a lil bit and hear junkyu cough really inconspicuously before mumbling a, “yeah, just a minute.”

which obviously worries you because that’s your best friend and he sounds upset and the idea of him upset has your heart doing a sad keyboard smash. but you respect that it could be literally anything by this point so you go to ur room and wait there

and junkyu comes back after a lil bit and he’s like “i :(( need to talk to you about something kinda serious” because he’s a lil bit angry with himself because?? a: how did he not realise the feelings he has for you are not platonic at all and, b: he doesn’t want to ruin the friendship

which makes you nervous but you’re like… “ok.. i’m listening and supporting you :)”

and then he doesn’t really know what to say so he just, “please don’t date the waiter boy!! or anyone else!!” and so you kinda recoil because ?? hmmm when did you say you wanted to date the waiter and hmmm why does he care

but then he goes “please don’t date anyone but me…”

and you’re ?? because now that you’re thinking about it properly maybe you do like him romantically? but you’re just so confused because you honestly don’t know what you’re thinking

so you’re kinda like, “can i,, think about this?? i don’t really know what i’m uh feeling right now!!”

and he’s like, “yeah, yeah of course omg i’m sorry!! just….let me know??” n he’d probably leave you too it then instead of liking. hanging around after he’d said that

so you’d spend some time thinking it through you know like,, oh damn…maybe i do like him a little more than i thought huh…

by the time you told junkyu you felt the same he’d have been having four (4) heart-attacks a day waiting for your answer and he’d probably be like “aha! that’s so great! can i come see you,, right now… i’ve been missing you a whole bunch” but on the inside he’s having his fifth (5th!) heart-attack of the day

and so whoosh! now you’re overgrown child friend is your boyfriend :) lucky you

his clinginess? intensified! now he’d feel like there wasn’t the line between ‘they’re just my friend and friends do Not do that kind of affection!’

whenever you walk into a room with him to sit down now, you’re being pulled to sit right on his lap so he can cuddle you more!! his hand is in yours 24/7!!

but…now that you’re dating…he’s too shy to show public affection bc like…now it Means More

i mean people that saw you on the street previously would’ve assumed you were already dating but junkyu doesn’t know that

so no more lil smooches in public!! now it’s strictly hand holding, having his arm around your waist or shoulders, occasionally he’ll just hug you in the middle of a street (you’d be like “i thought you said toning it down….bro i…”)

not much would change but!! he’d love to have proper kisses now :)) kissing junkyu would be super gentle n sweet bc omg !! you’re his baby !! he wants to: love and protect !

let’s you borrow his berets as a sign of love…but he won’t hesitate to steal your clothes either like…

you got oversized sweats that he likes? claimed! you got a cute pink hoodie he just knows he’d look great in? taken! by the time you get the clothes back they’re just slightly stretched out at the arms because he’s long….and you’re begging him to not steal clothes that he must already know won’t fit him but he’s just “:DD they’re cute on me!”

but sadly this is correct. and you always forget not to flatter him because he tells you every time: “it makes me blush too much!! if you compliment me i’ll just die…i can’t handle it!”

this is especially an issue when you go shopping with him to get clothes because every clothing item he tries on you’d be like: “a king!! no one else could ever!! look how great you look!! excuse me while i: scream” and he’d just. squeal. and hide in a changing room because his whole face is boutta go red

having said that, he is your biggest fan! you wear a dress? he’ll scream and twist himself into ungodly angles to get good quality pictures of you. you wear sweats? he thinks you look so warm and cuddly you’re never leaving his arms again.

he’d compliment you all the time and half the time he wouldn’t have to think about it? like, he sees you and his first reaction is to just: “xvonbosab you’re so cute omg i’m in Love”

junkyu is also a firm believe in lowkey matching your outfits: same shirts but in different colours, same coloured different shirts and trousers, etc.

his headass would probably get you friendship bracelets back before he confessed and gets you an extra lil charm when you finally start dating :((

he’s also so caring !! if you told him you hadn’t eaten and it’d gotten to like 5pm he’d freak out because ?? you need to be healthy ! every time he moves to go get something for himself he, “do YOU want anything?”

will tell you to put a jacket on before you leave the house on a cold day ((you don’t because it’d ruin your outfit)) and later,, when you got cold,, he’d passively aggressively wrap you up in his jacket

full offence junkyu carries a candid of you and mashiho round his wallet and will Never remove it

on this topic! whenever you’re around his friends his heart just….beats so much faster…he thought there was something wrong with him at first but after turning to yedam and being like, “my hearts beating out of my chest dndobc” when you did something nice for mashiho, yedam was just like “well yeah it’s bc you love her lol”

and like?? junkyu just kinda. like yeah. he does. indeed. he uh um loves you.

and realistically he knows it wouldn’t be a big deal to say it because he’s said it a thousand times to you when you were friends but now that you’re dating it seems like such a big thing

but boy oh boy once he’s said it,,, it’s gonna be added onto the end of almost every single sentence

you know like the old “breathe in: boi” meme….yeah it’s that except it’s just a loop of junkyu telling you he loves you in the space of an hour

has to say i love you especially (along with a lil mwah) before he goes to bed so he can “have good dreams!!” but like he doesn’t have to lie you’d kiss him anyway ://

would try to make you breakfast but he can never make good quality ones so he just gets you cereal and brings it to you in bed while he does a lil breathy laugh like “it’s your boyfriend, the chef, here with your gourmet breakfast”

i just, i have a Thing, with junkyu, where i firmly believe he just doesn’t really like pet-names?? they’re just not really his kind of style when it comes to dating,, except there’s like one or two that he will. always. use instead of your name

he loves calling you like “angel” because uwu!! that’s you to him!! his aNgEl

he’d do this so often that he’d have your name saved in his phone as ‘my angel’ with a thousand hearts next to it, and his friends would tease him RELENTLESSLY about him but :]]] he doesn’t mind !

and! he has a soft spot for the classic,,, the iconic,, the overused, “baby” bc uhhh you’re His BabyTM? not clickbait?

he also loves doing dumb childish things with you. watching cartoons while eating candy in matching pyjamas? big yes from him! building forts and then sleeping in them? even bigger yes!

if you have drama to tell him about or a secret you have to go under a big blanket with a torch and set in the middle of you two while you tell him in a whisper so no one ((even though you’re literally alone)) will hear

((hehe………is this uhh how do you say…..a Teaser?))

if you watch a show you’ve been watching together without him he will genuinely be so hurt like. “that was a personal thing we were sharing!!! how could you betray me????”

but on a real level. i just cannot see junkyu as someone that does well in arguments.

if you were arguing back and forth and it got mean at all he’d be so upset?? he’d definitely cry no matter what in arguments but if he ever felt that hurt you or if he felt hurt by something you said he’d be such a mess :(

but i also don’t think he’d actually ever have very much to argue about like?? he doesn’t get jealous very easily after a while because he knows you love him and wouldn’t do that to him, he doesn’t get angry very easily, and he just like. completely understands what it is that you want and need?

you were really close friends before so you two would’ve told each other things that wouldn’t come up in day to day discussions with your s/o? like, “omg what’s your biggest pet peeve in a partner!” or even just saying things like, “i think, in that situation, i’m the type of person to…”

because from those conversations you both got to know the things you liked and disliked and what kind of person you both were, u know?

so if by some magic an argument occurred. it’d end quickly. because, a: junkyu would get upset and take some time to himself to calm himself down, or b: junkyu just :(( gives up and stops responding because he genuinely doesn’t want to feed into the argument anyway

he’s much more of a “calmly discuss your issues and find a good solution!!” type of person so he always tries to do that instead of even beginning to argue

n from what we’ve seen so far he’s a lot more of a sad stressed n tired so i think if he found himself feeling like that he isn’t gonna snap at you? he’d probably just want you to cuddle him and play with his hair so he can relax again

junkyu is also fully the type of boyfriend to do ur shoe-laces for you if they come undone you know he wouldn’t think about the ‘omg cute couple things’ he’s just “xocvbov you’re shoe-laces are undone ! you’re a walking hazard this is so unsafe !”

full offence but now that you’re dating junkyu takes you back to that café where you said the waiter was cute and is like “:D finally i can eat here again without feeling nervous!”

which is, to the friends he took to lunch with you and who were not there to witness his confession or that whole day, very confusing and just slightly worrying

but to you it’s like ‘:(( wowie he’s really my baby huh’

but overall i feel like honestly nothing would change after you started dating junkyu? you two would still be best friends and act just like you did before

except! now that you’re dating junkyu gets to kiss you on the Lips! and he gets to cuddle you while you sleep for the whole night too! and he gets to introduce you to people as ‘mY gIrLfRiEnD’

but he’s just such a warm and nice presence to have in your life that when you’d look back on it now like ?? how could you not tell he was gonna be the boy you fell completely in love with

and he honestly thinks exactly the same thing omg he’d think back to things he used to say/do with you or things he’d think about you and be like ‘how did i not realise those are in no way platonic things to think about your platonic friend What?’

but overall i think dating junkyu would seriously just be like being around your best friend 24/7 !!!