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shirohige-pirates · 1 year

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Just Like Fire

CisFem Reader x Portgas D. Ace

CW: angst, language, erotic, violence, serial killer, stalking, poisoning, over-bearing controlling parents, attempted forced marriage, possible dub-con, Munchausen by proxy (aka Factitious Disorder), wildly cute and fluffy despite the warnings. 18+ only

Summary: You're Sabo's biological sister in this AU. After college you moved in with your dear brother and his two sworn brothers in order to avoid going back home. You and Sabo despise your family equally.

Chapter 11: Emotional

You set up a meeting with Chopper to hand off the new medication to him, keeping some of it for yourself in case you needed to prove you had it. Returning to work Friday you used your lunch to go make the delivery, and ate your packed lunch at your desk while you went back to work. You were 11 stories up in a building that didn’t have too many more floors beyond that, which made for a nice view inside and out.

A tall man with short dark hair and brightly colored, if not well-tailored clothing, came up to your desk. Considering how outlandishly you’d seen him dressed before, he almost looked plain today.

“Mr. Bon-chan,” you say, addressing him as he had requested. “What can I do for you?”

“You’re so kind, (Y/N)-chan.” He says, smiling. “I came to make sure you’re doing well. Your brother said you had fallen ill quite suddenly.” He leans down so that you’re not overheard. “You were hospitalized?”

“Some tests were needed. I really am sorry for the short notice.” You offer.

“Non, it’s quite alright.” He says, putting a hand up and waving it dismissively. “You have to put your health first, young lady. It is important to love yourself more than your job, okay?”

You smile. “Yes, thank you Mr. Bon-chan.”

The job you had found was doing accounting and reconciliation for a non-profit. It provided a lot of assistance to those who needed it, from people who were cursed, to people who were ostracized for being themselves. Given Bentham Bon Clay’s own eccentric tendencies, you weren’t surprised at the wide net the organization cast in its drive to help people.

Bon-chan was the newly minted CEO for the company, having taken over from an equally unique character named Ivankov. You heard some people call him Emporio Ivankov, but it was risky to give anyone who was a commoner a name that sounded anything like a title.

You were pretty sure that Ivankov hadn’t retired in the strictest sense of the word. You were also pretty sure you had heard Sabo say that name before as well, but you had too much on your plate already. Worrying about who knew who, or why or how were concerns for another day.

Getting back to work, running your errand to Chopper at the hospital, and knowing you were going to have a visitor tonight was enough for one day. Especially since you were nervous about whatever it was that Law was going to tell you after this second scan.

Your day concluded without incident, and when you got down to the ground floor you couldn’t suppress the smile on your face. Ace was parked in front of the building, in a very well-maintained older model pickup truck. It was the same color as his favorite hat – one he was wearing along with a tank top and shorts. He had a red-beaded necklace on, that you’d seen before, that matched the beads around the cowboy style hat.

He smiles when he sees you and motions toward the truck as he opens the passenger door for you.

“I got kicked out about twenty minutes ago, figured I’d come pick you up.” He explains.

“Kicked out?”

Ace clears his throat. “Okay, so I asked if I could be excused so I could come pick you up.” He admits as his face turns pink. “I figured you had enough on your mind lately that having a ride home wouldn’t hurt.”

“That’s… yeah.” You press your lips together as you step into the pickup truck. “Thank you.”

Ace brightens when he realizes you’re not put off by his gesture and smiles. “Of course.” He says, closing the door for you and coming around to the driver’s side.

“I’m surprised you don’t have the bike today.” You say, buckling yourself in as the truck comes to life in a surprisingly quiet rumble. “It’s a beautiful day out.”

“Yeah, I only have one helmet though.” He says, watching traffic for a second before pulling onto the road. “Someone read me the riot act for making her wear it, so I figured the truck was a better idea.”

“It… it’s a two-seater.” You say, feeling your face go hot. “Wouldn’t you have two helmets just for that reason?”

“Sabo won’t get on it under pain of death.” Ace explains with a smile. “Luffy’s banned from riding it because he wanted to stop for food one time and quite literally rubber banded us through traffic when I didn’t hear him. Fortunately, that was on a bicycle, and not the bike, but I’m not risking it.”

“Certainly, you’ve had, uh, someone…”

“You’re the first person to ride with me like that.”

“… Why is that embarrassing?” You mutter to yourself and hear Ace laugh.

“Sorry for laughing,” he says quickly when you pout at him. “You’re a natural though, we can go on another ride whenever you want. After I buy you a helmet.”

“I can buy my own.” You insist, wishing your heart would behave itself. You knew he was picking on you and flirting with you, and you had learned in college that flirting was something people did. So it didn’t necessarily mean anything, except after the camping experience you were pretty sure you weren’t the only one falling.

At least, you hoped such was the case.

��My bike, my rules.” Ace says, the smile on his face growing wider when you glare at him.

“Tyrant.” You say after a moment, smiling.

“Ruffian.” Ace corrects and you both laugh.

The ride home is comfortable. Ace talks to you about the guys at the station, how they’re looking forward to seeing you again. Thatch said he’d love for you to visit before your birthday – if for no other reason than he wants to talk to you about what kind of cake you’d like.

It felt like you had barely spent any time at all at the station and had already become friends with everyone there. The day was still a vivid and fond memory for you.

It might be the first year you would truly look forward to, and enjoy, your birthday.

“What a novel idea.” You say out loud.

“Hm?” Ace questions as he pulls into the driveway.

You wave your hand. “Oh, nothing. Just musing aloud.” You say as you undo your seatbelt and step out of the truck. “Does Luffy have his own car?”

“Luffy doesn’t have his own driver’s license.” Ace says. “He knows how to drive, in case of an emergency, we made sure of it, but the little gremlin can’t focus long enough to get through the test.”

“Even if you bribe him with meat?”

Ace sighs. “It ended up distracting him worse, cause he spent the whole time looking forward to it.” He laments with a shrug.

You laugh. “Sorry, ah, but that sounds very fitting. Poor Luffy.”

“Well, at least it didn’t cost him the EMT gig, and there’s designated drivers for the fire trucks. Even I don’t drive those.” Ace explains as you two get inside the house. “Most of the time it’s a division lead, but you don’t have to be the driver to be a lead, plus there’s always two or three backups in each division.”

“Not being able to drive to the site of the fire would be terribly embarrassing.” You admit.

Ace laughs. “According to Marco it actually happened once, and it was resolved because Pops picked up the fire truck and carried it to the location of the fire.”

Your eyes go wide, and your mouth goes slack. “Sorry, what?! How?! I mean, that’s incredible, but those trucks must weigh tons!”

“They do, Pops is just that strong.” Ace explains.

“I feel like you’re pulling my leg.”

“You’ll have to ask Marco when you see him next, but that’s the story as I know it.” He says with a smile. “I’m going to grab a shower, you okay?”

“Huh? Yeah, no – I’m okay. I’m a little nervous, but I don’t think Law will be here for another couple of hours at least.”

“Luffy says he doesn’t like bread, so if you’re planning on feeding him keep that in mind.” Ace says as he bounds up the stairs to take his shower.

You shake your head, looking away from the stairs and muttering to yourself that you absolutely could not invite yourself into the shower. For one, you hadn’t so much as kissed someone else, and there’s no way you’d survive any actions required in terms of showering with someone.

“There are proper steps to be followed.” You mutter, admonishing yourself for your thoughts quietly as you begin to take stock of what was available for dinner.

The first step was actually telling him that you liked him. Sabo had assured you that Ace was strong enough that you wouldn’t have to worry about either your station, or your mother, but also, you were living together. If you admitted your feelings to him, no matter how innocently, if they weren’t reciprocated then things would be awkward.

Probably not for very long. Ace seemed like the kind of person who could make anyone, and everyone feel comfortable and welcome around him, unless he truly disliked them. Plus, you were almost positive that your level of like was at least mutual.

It felt icky though, to say such things to someone, when you were technically already seeing someone else. Even if it wasn’t your own choice.

Suddenly, you found yourself even more irritated with your mother than ever before. It seemed so trivial too, compared to everything else, but it still stuck in the back of your mind and bothered you.

But it was too soon. Far too soon. You couldn’t tell someone you liked them after a mere month. Right? That was far too soon. Love at first sight – wait, no, no, love at first sight was the territory of fairy tales and trashy romance novels. This was life, and the feeling was like, not Love, and you couldn’t rush it.

Why couldn’t you rush it?

Because the real world didn’t work like that. Strangers across a room, stealing glances and tensions rise over pounding heartbeats. It didn’t work that way.

But… you weren’t strangers.

Nakama.

You shake your head again. It was reassuring, sure, but you needed to make dinner first. After that, or before it, you were going to be scanned. Somewhere in there you were going to have enough concerns on your plate that it wouldn’t be fair to Ace for you to say anything anyway.

What if you got worse? What if you died? You had always expected you would live a very short life, believing yourself to be chronically ill with an untreatable and incurable disease. Learning that it was your own mother poisoning you, did little to change the possibilities. Your mother may want you to survive to marry Prince Ichiji, but if your body suffered powerful withdrawal, there might not be anything anyone could do.

“When you’re deep in thought,” Ace says grabbing the knife you drop as you nearly leap out of your skin from the sound of him so close. “You really don’t notice much of anything, huh?”

“Apparently not!” You gasp, taking a flustered step back.

“Sorry. I called out a couple times, but you didn’t react.” Ace admits. His wet hair is sticking to his neck and face, a thick mess against his freckled skin. The t-shirt he’s wearing is clinging to him a bit from the dampness, and he’s in sweats now instead of shorts.

You take back the offered knife and turn your attention back to making dinner. “I guess living alone for so long I developed a habit.”

“You had your own dorm in college?”

“Apartment.” You correct. “Something appropriate for one of my station. Which is to say my parents bought the biggest small place they could find. As a disdained child I wasn’t given anything too nice, but as a noble I wasn’t denied luxury either.”

“Is… everything like that?”

“A mind game and or power struggle?” You prompt and Ace nods. “Yeah. There are some legitimate connections and friendships to be had. Plenty of younger nobility especially, are tired of the games, but enough of them thrive on it – live and die by it honestly, that it’s not going away anytime soon.”

Ace’s face crinkles in frustration. “I guess, I just expected a family would be united internally, you know? Like nakama, having each other’s backs against whatever is out there.”

“There is hierarchy in everything with nobility.” You look over at Ace and grin. “My parents thought they were punishing Sabo when they adopted Sterry. He’s the eldest, and that gave him certain privileges, but once Sterry entered the picture as heir apparent, he no longer had those privileges by default. If he wanted them, he’d need to earn them.

“But Sabo had no desire to earn anything. At least not from them.”

“And you?” Ace asks, and you look at him questioningly. “What sort of stuff did you get for being you?”

“… Oh! Oh, no, daughters don’t uh,” you laugh a little. “Sorry. A daughter’s only privilege is to be of use to the family as a bargaining chip. My only worth was in how alluring I could present myself. Poise, grace, enough intelligence to be useful, but not so much as to be challenging. My worth would be decided based on whoever I married.”

“Hah?” Ace looked confused and a little uncomfortable.

“Mm. As nobility I would’ve been a useless daughter if I married a noble of lower standing than my family. An acceptable daughter if I married nobles at or a little above us. I would be a worthy daughter if I married Ichiji, and my mother and father might actually die of joy if I were to marry a Celestial.” You explain, setting things to simmer and stepping back as you stood next to Ace by the breakfast bar.

“When things fall apart with Ichiji I’m sure they’ll have all sorts of awful words to hurl at me.” You say it with a smile, and it’s genuine. Now that you’re not living under the same roof, earning words of ire from your parents would be a treat. “Ah, it’s a shame they wouldn’t disown me for it.”

“That would solve a few problems, wouldn’t it?” Ace prompts. “Getting disowned, I mean.”

“Yeah, but they won’t disown me for rejecting Ichiji.” You admit. “If it turns out I’m cursed, then they will. It… irritates me that I would be disowned for something I cannot control, and not disowned for something I would’ve done intentionally.”

“I think I get what you mean.” Ace says. “What if you dated someone who was cursed?”

It takes everything you have to keep your body under control with the warm shiver that slips down your spine. You couldn’t stop the smile that pulled at the corners of your mouth, and so you licked your lips to break it, and let slip a small nervous laugh.

“Ah, haa… um.” You look up at him and look away almost immediately. The flirty look in his eyes, that crooked grin, you’re going to just melt on the spot. “Ah, not to ruin a mood, but they’d be more likely to try and get rid of you then they would do anything to me.”

Ace puts a hand on the counter behind you, leaning down a little. You almost want to run away before you just spontaneously combust on the spot, but you couldn’t move if you wanted to. The scent of his shower still lingers around him, and it’s dragging your brain in several different directions.

“I didn’t say me, I just said someone who was cursed.” He points out, his voice is lower and softer than usual. Even if you can’t see the devilish smile, you know it has to be there. His hand reaches for your hair, but he stops himself, and your earlier thoughts return.

Too soon?

Not too soon?

What was time but the relativistic—no, wait.

“I… um,” you hear the latch to the front door and nearly leap out of your skin. “Watch-that-for-me-thank-you.” You say hastily and nearly run from the kitchen. You don’t want Sabo to see you so flustered, he’d never let you live it down.

“Don’t tell me you’re cooking.” Sabo says to Ace as he and Luffy come into the kitchen.

“I’m not. Just watching the pot.” Ace answers. “Wanna keep an’ eye on it? I wanna dry my hair a little bit more, before this shirt really gets soaked.”

“You should dry that mop when you get out of the shower.” Sabo grumbles, shooing Ace away. “Not twenty minutes later.”

“It’s not a mop.” He insists, stepping out of the kitchen and heading upstairs.

After a few minutes to compose yourself, you returned to the kitchen and continued cooking. You ended up making curry beef for the boys, and some tuna and salmon rice balls for the doctor. Law arrived just as you were sitting down to eat, and after making sure it was okay to eat first, the five of you sat down to a meal.

It had simply worked out that you were sitting across from Ace during the meal, and you almost would’ve rather had sat next to him. It was hard to miss how often your eyes found one another’s from across the table like this.

“These are really good.” Law says after a few bites.

“Ah, thank you. I had to attend a few classes on cooking when I started college, it’s nice to know they paid off.” You answer with a smile.

“(Y/N) cooks almost as good as Sanji.” Luffy says. He’s spent the entire meal singing the praises of everyone at the table between stuffing his face. It was a testament to his kindness how highly he thought of his nakama.

“You only say that because I give you extra bits of meat.” You tease, and Luffy turns to you with tears in his eyes.

“You do?”

You can’t help the laugh that escapes you. “Every time.”

His arms stretch out and he pulls you over to him in a hug as you and your chair are pulled across the table. You let out a small squeak as Luffy hugs you. He’s blubbering something about how kind you are, and how delicious your food is, and he’s sorry he can’t say it’s better than Sanji’s, but it is really good, and all you can do is laugh.

With your arms pinned in the hug you can’t even cover your face in embarrassment.

“Lu-Luffy, thank you – thank you, but I can’t eat like this.” You manage after his tears start to subside.

Luffy continues to half-cry and half-mumble a bit, but Sabo and Ace come over and help him untangle himself from you. You didn’t expect him to be quite so touched about a few extra pieces of meat, but you thought maybe you could afford to give him even more in the future.

With the excitement of dinner concluded, you lay down on the couch, and Law uses his curse to scan you again.

“Chopper said your mother sent you new medication.” Law says, eyes focused on whatever his ability lets him see.

“Yes. I was able to give him some of it during lunch today.” You answer.

“Did your mother indicate anything specific about it?”

“She knew.” Sabo answers. There’s anger in his voice that almost makes you flinch, even though it wasn’t directed at you. “She knew it was poison and she did all but say so. She stated that (Y/N) would become more energetic, and need less sleep.”

“Would, huh?” Law clarifies.

“Yes. Not should, not if all goes well, but would.” Sabo’s snapping his words off at the bones like you had been the day before.

Law’s power fades and he helps you sit up, checking your pupils’ reaction with a pen light. It struck you as wildly mundane compared to everything else he had done.

“Dizzy?” He questions.

“No.”

He straightens up and takes a couple steps back so he can see the whole room. “The concentration is less, but not by a lot. It’s leaving you slowly, as I expected. Take it easy this weekend, you can cook meals and run errands, go see movies and stuff like that, but no hiking, dancing, strenuous exercise, that sort of thing. Keep it medium low at the most.

“As long as you continue to detox without any negative side effects, I’d like to come back Tuesday or Wednesday and try to remove some of it more directly.”

“Will we need to be at the hospital again?” You ask.

“We can, if you’re more comfortable there, but it won’t be strictly required.”

“Oh, no, here’s fine, if that’s okay.”

“It is. Dr. Chopper will be accompanying me.” He turns toward Ace. “I heard from Crocus you work at the station with Marco?”

“Yeah, I do.” Ace answers. “Want me to have him over that night too?”

“Please.” Law says with a nod. “Marco’s curse works well in tandem with mine, and it’ll be a good safety net to have.”

“Consider it done then.” Ace says with a smile.

“As before, call me if anything changes unexpectedly.”

You nod. “Of course, thank you.”

Luffy and Sabo escort Law out, and you sink into the couch with a sigh.

“You alright?” Ace asks quietly. His gaze is down the hall, watching Sabo, Luffy and Law.

“Yeah. It’s just… scary? Frustrating? … Very emotionally charged.” You say finally, nodding your head when you settled on the words that fit best. “There’s too much to it, and I don’t know if I’ll ever untangle it all. But right now? Like, right now now? It’s scary.

“I keep expecting my body to just… give out. Or something equally uncontrollable.” You admit quietly.

Ace looks like he wants to comfort you, but he can’t seem to think of the right words or gestures, and the two of you sit in silence for a moment before Sabo and Luffy return.

#just like fire #portgas d ace #x reader #portgas d ace x reader #reader insert

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charkyzombicorn · 7 months

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The beetlejuice au inspired me to make

Ward au

Basically the og 5 straw hats + vivi,and kya are all sick children who have medical conditions that keep them as long term patients in the hospital. (They are aged down to 11-9 year olds)

Brook is the nurse who watches and intertwines them

Robin is the main doctor

Chopper is a young doctor ( resident) who works under robin (he’s aged up to 18)

Franky is the a maintenance worker

Jinbe is a secretary guard

That. Makes me sad.

What are they in for tho????

My theories:

Luffy- Heart condition -> His life expectancy isn't all that great, but he's not completely hospital bound, he just can't stay out for more than a week because hes great at straining himself

Zoro- Suicide watch -> He's not actually suicidal, he got put there because his guardian was worried since he was saying the same things Kuina was saying before she went. Now he just can't get out because he keeps failing the tests from a psychiatrist that he refuses to talk to before they sword fight to the death (this doesn't help his case)

Nami-?????

Usopp- Munchausen's -> He knows there's something wrong with him, there's been something wrong since his mom died, what if he has what his mother died of but no one is testing him because he's young?

Sanji- Recovery from starvation -> Got lost at sea :(

Vivi- They Do Not Know -> she's got an Egyptian parasite but no one asked if she was Egyptian and she doesn't know it's relevant, so they have no idea what she has :(

#one piece

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kaspmatic · 5 years

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How would you say you relate to Eddie?

BIG FUCKING OOF –ok, I hope you guys are ready to go on a wild ride with me down memory lanehere. there is quite a bit that I can cover on how I relate to Eddie – soplease bear with me and if you read this then; kudos, brownie points, goldstars, all of that shit to you. I’m going to put my actual answer under a read morebecause I know this is going to get lengthy. And honestly, probably a littlepatchy and I might jump around a bit so I won’t force this shit on anyone whowon’t intentionally click that read more for the deets. LOL.

OVERBEARINGFAMILY - REPRESSED HOMOSEXUALITY

To lay a little backgroundon everyone, I grew up NOT knowing my biological father. I lost himat a young age and spent a lot of my younger years growing up with a singlemother – my mom worked in a hospital, so every little thing that happenedbecame a giant issue; I had a cough? go to the doctors. I was always cold? goto the doctors. I sneezed funny? go to the doctors. (I think you guys get mydrift with where I’m going here). as a child I spent a lot of time in and out of thehospital because of this, now I’m not saying my mom has Munchausen Syndrome byany means, she definitely didn’t force diseases onto me. I justrelate and understand that pain of always having to go to the hospitalfor the most trivial of concepts. As a child, however, I did spend quite a fewyears toting around an inhaler that I didn’t even fucking need. Call it a baddiagnosis or whatever you will – but it was still something that I had todo that I didn’t even need.

Not having my dad aroundlead for a lot of weird and one-sided views in my mind throughout my youngeryears of life – for a long time I had only the woman’s point of view onevery aspect (at least until my mom remarried years later - I was in myteens by that time).

To continue talking aboutmy overbearing mom – she still tries to be to this way alongsideher husband to this very day (hi, I’m fucking 32 years old here – just tothrow out my Grandma age on tumblr so you aren’t shocked in a paragraph or two).Everything has to be done a certain way or its wrong – they thrive on avery myway or the highway look of things, and this has been something that Ihave constantly had to push back against in more recent years - because I havefound love and support from those who are willing to tell me that its fuckingOK to not be the person your parents want you to be.

Like Eddie, I’ve lost partsof myself throughout life appeasing my family with moldingmyself to fit what they thought I should be - what I needed to be. The biggestissue being homosexuality. I grew up with a Catholic Grandmother who wouldat anychance and drop of a hat find any reason to bitch about the gaysin the most hate speech and closed minded filled way I have everheard in my entire existence. I grew up believing that I couldn’t come out –that I couldn’t truly be who I wanted to be because my family wouldn’t be onboard and I was terrified that they wouldn’t understand or support me and Ibelieved wholeheartedly that if I DID comeout, that I would lose each and every family member that I had becausemy Grandma and other members of my family have very strict views on it - andneed I repeat, are overwhelming overbearing and controlling. When I was firststruggling with the idea that I was part of the queer community, oddly enough,I was 13. By this point in time I was used to listening to my Grandma bitchabout the LGBT+ community for years. I remember one instancedirectly with my mom; we were on a vacation and I remember asking my mom what shethought of the LGBT+ community and she told me flat out that I wasn’t allowedto be Gay.

That right there told me everythingthat my young mind needed to hear. That no matter who I was as a person, that myfamily wouldn’t support me – even over something so simple as lovingsomeone of the same sex. I spent the next 17 years hiding who I was, just toappease the ideals that I thought I had to adhere to. I dated strictlyboys and it landed me in unhappy relationship after unhappy relationship– ultimately my last relationship with a CIS male was a completelycontrolling and abusive one. One where they wanted to control everyaspect of my life - much like how Myra does to Eddie once he’s given in andfallen to Sonia’s whims and has told himself that he has to take the easy wayout. I was miserable in the relationship and everything had to beapproved of by him. It was some of the darkest times in my life but thatrelationship was one that defined me and really made me realize just how unhappyof a life I was leading just by appeasing those around me.

Granted, my repression andcloseted sexuality doesn’t end there. I got out of that relationship when I was22 and spent years recovering from the sheer amount of abuse I was taking fromhim – all the while I was still so tightly wound into the clutches of myparents. I traded off from one controlling household, to a new controllinghousehold, and back to the one in which molded me.

I spent the next 8 yearsgoing through a lot – all the while I was being medicated on anything andeverything under the sun just to right me as a person – because obviouslythat’s the answer here. I spent a lot of time in and out of hospitals due tobad reactions to medications, medications not mixing well, just generallytrying to get myself back to WHO I was. I was just a shell of myself duringthese years, I was in college and struggling even more so with myself and mysexuality as a free bird – so to speak. I tried dating around and nevertold my family when I was with a woman because I didn’t know how. I didn’t knowhow to tell a family so openly against it that’s who I waswith. So, I continued to lie and appease and struggle.

The entirety of my closetedyears – those 17 years – I struggled with every sexual thought Ihad toward a woman. I hated myself. Told myself I was wrong and that it wasn’twhat I was supposed to do. It took me a long time and some reallyfucked up situations to really start to love myself for me. To understand thatno matter what – whether my family love me or accept me – that I am who Iam and NO ONE can fucking changethat.

Granted this story at thevery least has a happy ending, unlike Eddie’s, I met Ari and finally came outat 30 – much to part of my family’s dislike – but my parents wereaccepting and my Mom ultimately didn’t even fucking remember the trauma she hadinduced when I was young. BUT I DIGRESS….

EMOTIONS - DEALING WITHEMOTIONS

Eddie and I both similarlyshow our emotions – and it’s not always in the best light. I struggle withsomething called Emotional Overwhelm which I actually have a headcanon for I’vebeen meaning to write up for Eddie for fucking weeks since I went and saw ITChapter 2’s early release. It’s something that I recognized in Eddie and reallystruggle dealing with in day to day life. Emotional Overwhelm is an instancewhere things kind of pile the fuck up – everything,even if it’s something small, can feel like a deep wound. People whostruggle with emotional overwhelm feel things differently than normal – anoffhanded comment that could make one person laugh and blow it off will feellike a stab to the heart and a betrayal to someone who deals with it. Strugglingwith this kind of an emotional issue causes me to lash out at unnecessary timesand can be rather debilitating in relationships if your friends, family, oryour partners don’t understand it. It’s worse when you feel a sense of being “gangedup on” (at least for me) so during times of joking around I can easily lash outand take a simple joke as a complete attack.

My chest constricts – mybody will not allow me to breathe easily and if I don’t force it – and ithurts deeper than it should. My anxiety runs high during these times and that panicsets in deep. I can’t fathom emotions if there are too many in place, my mindwill refuse to address them so they pile up. During this time, my mind will fogand I can’t even process anything being said – for instance; if I’m in asituation where issues are being listed off to me and I start to hit thatemotional overwhelm peak – my mind is still focused on exhibit A while theperson is already listing exhibit E. My mind will not allow me to process situationslike this as a WHOLE not in a rapid-firesuccession. The buildup can be excruciating and takes a toll on my body that itall will spill out in a sassy, feisty, and – for the lack of a better word – kindof a shitty outburst.

Having these outbursts stemfrom growing up in a household where I wasn’t appropriately taughthow to handle my emotions. My family were not people who would discuss emotionsor situations where my emotions got “out of control” – it was always a “stophaving emotions” type argument. I was gaslighted, manipulated, and bullied intothinking any and all emotions were bad. Plain and simple. I wasn’t allowed tocompose my emotions into words as this was not a thing that would everhappen with my family.

Much like Eddie, I tend tohave my emotions out there regardless of what I was taught – regardless ofbeing able to recognize those emotions I hate talking about them. It’s a viciouscycle. Discussing my emotions brings out my emotional overwhelm and it’s justan all-around messy situation at that. So, I try my best to hide my emotions– I clench my jaw, I go silent, I refuse to talk about it, I completelyshut down – I’m stubborn. It takes someone remarkably special and someone Itrust completely for me to really level with them – to be raw and showevery little bit of emotion that I have. Someone who is tolerable of it andunderstands what I’m going through, how I process my emotions… So needless to say,I have only ONE person who I feel comfortable with being this raw andvulnerable towards given my home life. So, a lot of the time my emotions– if every questioned by anyone will mostly be met with anger, because itwas the one emotion I was used to receiving growing up. It’s easier to lash outthan it is to make yourself vulnerable.

When I’m not having a terriblytraumatizing day and my emotional overwhelm hasn’t taken over, I tend to hide myemotions behind my sass. If I magically have a day where I’m notcompletely losing it and on an emotional overload type of day, my hurt showsthrough real quick sass and sometimes it’s not always tasteful. My brainto filter usually shuts off when I’m hurt and I feel like I’m being come for.

UNDIAGNOSEDADHD - MENTAL HEALTH

Ok, this is another headcanonsituation I want to write up – mostly because of instances between Chapter 1 andChapter 2 that I picked up on. But I’m a firm believer that Eddie has undiagnosedADHD – take for instance the entire scene where they’re first introduced to TheClubhouse. Eddie’s reaction and the way he bounces from subject to subject withhalf sentences, his reaction to the paddle ball with Stan, his rapid fire nearlystumbling speech. I wholeheartedly believe that Sonia wasn’t concerned in theleast about mental health issues, only concerned for issues that would harmEddie physically and more in the realm of physical health issues.

Much like this, my Mom wasadamant that I didn’t have ADHD and refused to have me tested by any means. Istruggle with half sentences where my mind will be moving faster than my mouthor fingers – I notice this more when I’m typing, whether it be having adiscussion on discord or responding to replies. I don’t know how many times Ihave gone back to proof read and somehow, I’m missing portions of sentences andeverything is nearly a half thought. My mind processes things too quickly andone moment I’ll have my attention in one place and within a second something elsewill catch my attention. It’s always fast and catches nearly everyone around meoff guard that don’t really understand what’s going on.

To kind of wrap this backaround to my abusive situation and the lack of HELP in the metal health realm where the Mom’s are concerned. WhileI was dealing with these issues I dealt with a lot of mental health ailments(ptsd, manic depression, insomnia, and major anxiety/panic attacks to name afew.) these were all situations that required a lot of help through doctor’s,psychiatrists – you name it. But my Mom (and her husband) were always inthe realm of thought that a mental battle can be won without the use of medication– and this is honestly how I feel Sonia Kaspbrak thought and took mentalhealth issues. That they weren’t as big of an issue as say “health” issues areconcerned. That they were easily bypassed and just a “phase” that could begrown out of. Considering Sonia, who is a woman suffering with MunchausenSyndrome – mental health issues don’t get you the same attention as say asick and suffering child would with an actual sickness or disease that can beSEEN. And that is the biggest difference and I think why Eddie was nevertreated for having ADHD.

It’s seen, but it’s not onethat would necessarily bring about any sort of sympathy from others or keepEddie bound in her realm of control that she preferred to rule.

#Anonymous #⌊ they’re gazebos! they’re bullshit! ⌉ - ooc #ooc.#⌊ have you ever heard of a staph infection? ⌉ - answered #answered.

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grs-the-neighborhood · 6 years

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Munchausen Young

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Heterosexual

Height: Taller than Drake

Alignment: Young Blood Alliance (Chaotic Bad) Rank B

Age: 16

Birthday (Zodiac): June 12th (Gemini)

Species: Possibly a Genetically Enhanced Human (because Dr. Flug call her a monster)

Nationality: Mexian from her mom’s side and Asian from her dad’s (according to herself)

Relatives: Chase Young (Biological Father)

Dr. Flug and Black Hat (Grandpa?)

Demencia (Biological Mother)

Shen Mi and Drake (Half-Siblings)

Sedusa and Wuya (Half-Mothers)

Abilities: Rabbit-like Agility, Wall-Crawling ability, Stealth likes a snake, thievery learned from Cheshire, poison immunity, assasination skills learned from Cheshire, Playing the electric guitar (formerly), killer instinct, flexibility, and gymnastics.

Relationship:

505: Her “pillow”

Raleigh: They meet each other on obtains a Shen Ga Wu. When Munchausen lost a Xiaolin Showdown. She blush and compliments on his eyes. But Raleigh ignore her.

Appearance: Munchausen Young wear a modern Chinese style attire: a Red Chinese shirt with a teal hoodie over it, white arm warmers, black skirt with a belt, damaged maroon-and-black striped socks, and sandles. When she put on her hood it have a hood version of Chase Young in reptile form. Her left eye color is gold and the right eye color is hazel. Both of her pupils are snake-like pupils inherited from Chase’s gene. She have two piercings on her right eyebrow. Her green hair is straight and spiky all the way down to the back. She highlighted her hair and bang neon green to resemble her mom. She have two tattooed; the Black Hat Organization logo on the back of her neck (but it is hidden by a dog collar) and the acronym of the Young Blood Alliance on her tongue. She have cuts and bandages on her right leg and both arms from self-inflicted herself. She also wear a gothic attire when scouting on Thora, and as Harriet Quinet, a fake blond wig with red highlights and a Japanese uniform. She sometime wear a dress for dancing-and-assasin mission with angelic blue contact lens and have magenta highlights on her hair.

Background: Munchausen is born as a union between the YBA and the famous company that sold weapons to villains, the Black Hat Organization and her mother, Demencia is one of Chase’s candidates for a warrior child.

Demencia gave full custody of her daughter to Chase Young in disgust even though she was order to produce a child with him by Black Hat himself. Munchausen being raised by Chase made her became ruthless. However, at the age of 4, she learned affection and empathy from her mentor in assasin, Cheshire because Cheshire felt so sorry for her being a motherless child.

At the age of 8, Munchausen is force to lived in the Black Hat Mansion to replace Demencia whose she fell under coma at the Arkham Asylum, Black Hat. Black Hat taught her the Black Hat’s financial and business and how Demencia’s duties are perform. Munchausen ask Black Hat where her mom is, but he tell Munchausen that Demencia disowned and blamed her for her coma, causing her to fell in despair. But she highlighed her hair neon green and play the electric guitar to remeber her.

All the burden of being Chase’s daughter, in unlove by her own mom, and training to be Demencia’s replacement to the Black Hat organization and a member of the YBA, Munchausen starts to cutting herself at the age of 12.

This is a sign of her mental illness. Cheshire found out about her habit and she and Alisha try to help her problems. They remind her of her medication, give her methods of dealing with anxiety, and affection (including asking Black Hat and Chase to spend some time with her). Her self-inflicted cause her to withdraw from the YBA a few years, however she came back and join Insomniac.

Personality: Munchausen’s behaviour is childish, ruthless, destructive, and scatterbrained like her mom. However, her destructive behaviours does allow her to not only cause troubles for her own group, only to herself. Her Father’s Heylinan physiology and her Mother’s high adrenaline, seem to allow Munchausen enter a berserk state that she don’t realize until the damage is done. She can be a masochist.

In thievery, she is mature, calm, clever, and stealth thanks to being raised by Cheshire. She have great pride in thievery that she tell Chloe she stole 34 Shen Ga Wu, such as the Lasso Boa Boa (But Ethan took it).

However, in a difficult situation, she start having a mental breakdown.

Relationships:

Her siblings: She have a poor bond with her siblings. Shen Mi is glad that she have a big sister to talk about fashion and music. Drake is annoyed that he have another sibling, and disrespect her of how she commiting to the YBA.

Other Relatives: Munchausen admired her role model, mentor, and foster mom, Cheshire so much that she wanted to be like her one day. However, she have a hard time showing her affection to Black Hat and Chase Young because she know that affection is not for them, only evil and honour. However she did show affection to Dr. Flug by attacking him with her fists and helping him with his science experiments, even though it always end up in a boom. She did want to l learn biotechnology secretly with him, but does not show it.

Raleigh: She have a crush on Raleigh so much she became his stalker.

Violet and Claymore: Her best friends

Lucky: As Harriet she enjoy his inventions, but as Munchausen she destroy them.

Quotes:

Introduction: “I am Munchausen Young, successor to the employee, Demencia of Black Hat Organization. I am also the 3rd best thief!“

1. Munchausen have a puppet version of Raleigh, but not Kingsley because Drake took her two of her puppet version of Kingsley and gave it to Renee and Alex.

2. Munchausen’s favorite color is Blood Red.

3. Munchausen’s favorite food is Burrito that contained Crickets inside it.

4. Munchausen’s favorite TV show to watch is Dexter and

5. Munchausen used to play the electric guitar, but she got been “curse” by Black Hat to never play any instruments due to playing his organ.

6. Update: If Munchausen ever meets her mentor's daughter, Scarlet of The Firstborns from TNA by @thepaladincosplays, Scarlet would stays away from her because she believe her mother is testing her.

#character list #froppy-butterflyfan2000 #repost #submission

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weekendwarriorblog · 6 years

Text

2018 - My Year at the @MetrographNYC

You’ve probably already heard me moan about what an awful year I’ve had, not working for about eight months of it, but once again, the Metrograph was there to help me get through it.

For the first half of the year, I had the advantage of MoviePass still working to use there, but once that fell through in June, I had to rely on my membership and $10 tickets for the 2nd half of the year, meaning I had to be a bit more careful about what I went to see. (Of course, the Dario Argento retrospective was a must.)

I have no idea what 2019 is going to bring… Not even sure when I’ll be able to afford to renew my Metrograph membership, but I’m pretty happy with the collection of movies I saw at my local theater in 2018, many for the first time.

(As with last year, the asterisk next to movies are for the ones I’d never seen before.)

The 317th Platoon (1965)* 5 Centimeters Per Second (2007)* Aces Go Places (1982)* The Adventures of Baron Munchausen (1989) The Adventures of Robin Hood (1938) Akira (1988) Albert Brooks Shorts (1977) Alien Nation (1988) All About Ah-Wong (1989)* Altered States (1980) American Gigolo (1980) Amerika (1968)* Angels Wear White (2017)* Another Day in Paradise (1998)* The Aristocats (1970) The Barefoot Contessa (1954)* Barry Lyndon (1975) Bewitched (1981)* Bird with the Crystal Plummage (1970)* The Birds (1963) Bowfinger (1999)* The Boxer’s Omen (1983)* The Bride Wore Black (1968)* The Cassandra Cat (1963)* Cat O’Nine Tails (1971)* The Changeling (1979) Children Who Chase Lost Voices (2011)* The China Syndrome (1979) The Citizen (2017)* The City of Lost Children (1995) A Clockwork Orange (1971) Coming Home (1978) Commando (1985) The Company of Wolves (1984) Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000) A Day at the Races (1937) Deep Red (1975) Delicatessen (1991) Deliverance (1972) Dementia 13 (1963)* Distant Constellation (2018)* The Dream of the Red Chamber (1977)* Dr. Strangelove (1964) Drugstore Cowboy (1989) Duck Soup (1933) ET the Extra-Terrestrial (1982) The Evil of Dracula (1974)* Eyes Wide Shut (1999) Fistful of Dollars (1964)* The Fog (1980) Four Flies on Grey Velvet (1971)* Full Metal Jacket (1987) Full Moon in New York (1989)* Fun with Dick and Jane (1976) Fundi: The Story of Ella Baker (1981)* Ganja and Hess (1973)* Gator (1976)* The General (1926)* Gerry (2002) The Ghost Story (1979)* Good Will Hunting (1997)* The Grifters (1990) A Hard Day’s Night (1964) Hard Eight (1996) Hatari! (1961)* Hero (2002) The Hit (1984)* House of Games (1987)* Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989) Inferno (1980) Integration Report (1960)* The Invisible Man (1933) Kids (1995) The Kindergarten Teacher (2018) King Kong vs. Godzilla (1963) Klute (1971) Labyrinth (1986) The Last Movie (1971)* Lick the Star (???)* The Limey (1999)* Lolita (1962) Looking for Comedy in the Muslim World (2003) Love Education (2017)* Lovers on the Bridge (1991)* Madeline’s Madeline (2018)* The Man Who Wasn’t There (2001) The Master (2012) Mauvais Sang (1986)* McCabe and Mrs. Miller (1971)* Metropolitan (1990) Midnight Cowboy (1969) Mind Game (2004)* Modern Romance (1981)* Modern Times (1936) Modesty Blaise (1966)* Monkey Business (1952)* Morvern Callar (2002) Mrs. Hyde (2018)* My Own Private Idaho (1991) Night of the Living Dead (1968) Once Upon a Time in the West (1968) Opera (1987)* Paths of Glory (1957)* Phenomena (1985)* (seen “Creepers”) The Place Promised in Our Early Days (2004)* Play Time (1967)* Police Story (1985) Poor Cow (1967)* Possession (1981)* Predator (1987) The Public Image is Rotten (2018) Purple Rain (1984) Rubber Road 45s (2018)* Salesman (1969)* Scrooged (1988) The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (1947) Semi-Tough (1977) Se7en (1995) Shanghai Blues (1984)* The Shining (1980) Sideways (2004) Smoky and the Bandit (1977) The Spanish Prisoner (1997) Splendor in the Grass (1961)* Summer of Sam (1999) Sunset Boulevard (1950)* Taxi Driver (1076) Tenebre (1982) The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974) To Live and Die in L.A. (1985) Top Hat (1935)* Trauma (1993)* Trouble in Paradise (1932)* Vamp (1986)* The Vampire Doll (1970)* A View to a Kill (1985) Wanda (1970)* The War at Home (1979)* Wicked Wicked (1973)* The Wicker Man (1973) Wild at Heart (1990) The Wizard of Oz (1939) Xiao Yu (1995)* Young Frankenstein (1974) Your Name (2017) Youth (2016)*

#Metrograph Movies 2018InReview

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